1 00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:33,242 (Phone ringing) 2 00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:22,874 Oh, yeah! 3 00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:25,002 I knew it! I knew it. 4 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,170 Andy: Kevin! As soon as I heard that wrapper. 5 00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:29,089 You really have to say, "oh, yeah," 6 00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:30,412 every time you eat a candy bar? 7 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:33,635 I can't help it, Oscar. It's just really good. 8 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:35,887 Oh, yeah! 9 00:01:35,971 --> 00:01:37,949 Oscar: My hands are tied. All right, not bad at all. 10 00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:40,934 I think we can beat 20 minutes, though, so let's try again. 11 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,328 Get it all out now if you have to. 12 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,563 It was a raccoon eating a hamburger like a person. 13 00:01:44,646 --> 00:01:46,815 You need to stop banging your pen on your desk, 14 00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,538 or it's gonna dnverneinsane. Okay, got it. 15 00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:50,152 Does anyone have a first-aid kit? 16 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:51,546 Darryl: Check out this song I wrote. 17 00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:53,196 I'm gonna love you downstairs tonight 18 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,115 listen, I say... 19 00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:57,284 I mean, he looked like a little hamburglar. 20 00:01:57,701 --> 00:01:59,036 All right, here we go! 21 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:02,914 Everybody, get ready in three, two... good luck. One. 22 00:02:12,883 --> 00:02:16,637 Love letters. Yes, I love it. 23 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:19,264 What else can be done with paper? 24 00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,683 You can write a book about chairs. 25 00:02:22,059 --> 00:02:23,977 Books. Excellent, Jim. 26 00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:26,271 All right, Andy, please, please, just stop. 27 00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:28,732 You can do infinite things with paper. (Gasping) 28 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:30,317 (Shushes) 29 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,777 Did you hear that? 30 00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:37,532 Infinity. There is an infinity of things that you can do with paper. 31 00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:40,911 Now, who wants to buy some paper? 32 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,621 Yeah! 33 00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,415 Very nice. Very nice sales pitch 34 00:02:45,582 --> 00:02:47,417 for our clients that don't know what paper is. 35 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:49,461 I'm talking about you guys. 36 00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:53,882 Who in this room right now wants to buy some paper? 37 00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:57,427 Let's get high on our own supply. 38 00:02:57,511 --> 00:03:00,180 Andy, you want us to buy our own paper? 39 00:03:00,263 --> 00:03:01,431 Yes. 40 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:04,309 Robert said that we needed to double our sales growth to 8% 41 00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:08,355 by the end of the quarter. That's today, and we are $830 short. 42 00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,775 And I can't afford to keep buying paper from us, 43 00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:15,237 so today we need to sell $830 of paper, 44 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,863 and then next quarter, I need to sell 45 00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:18,990 the $2,200 of paper that's in my garage. 46 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:23,995 Dwight: Animals, machines, vast virtual armies. 47 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:26,581 All of these things I have successfully managed. 48 00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,959 The only thing I haven't managed is people. 49 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:32,045 I saw an ad on the sabre website 50 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:34,798 for an open manager position in their printers division. 51 00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,717 I spoke to Robert California about it, 52 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,052 and he said for me to come by and see him some time. 53 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:41,680 So like a Spanish conquistador, 54 00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:45,225 I have come to Florida to claim what is rightfully mine. 55 00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:47,477 Dwight schrute for Robert California. 56 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:51,398 Oh. Hello, Mr. Schrute. I'll tell him you're here. Can I get you anything at all? 57 00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:53,024 I'm not here to be given anything. 58 00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:54,568 I'm here to take what is mine. 59 00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:58,363 Ooh. I'm glad you're on our team. Here, please have a seat. 60 00:03:59,990 --> 00:04:02,576 Dwight? What are you doing here? 61 00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:05,787 Gabe. You don't know? 62 00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:07,414 Of course I know. 63 00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,167 Hmm. Impressive office you have here. 64 00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,920 Surrounded by shrubbery. Like a squirrel's office. 65 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:17,048 Corporate says to me, "Gabe, we need you in Scranton." 66 00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:19,009 Scranton says, "Gabe, go back down 67 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,178 to Florida. You're needed there." 68 00:04:21,428 --> 00:04:24,264 So Tuesdays and Thursdays, I'm up there. 69 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:27,893 Mondays, wednesdays and Fridays, I'm down here. 70 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:31,730 I can think of no better way to confront my deathly fear of flying. 71 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,940 Dwight. Robefl. 72 00:04:34,024 --> 00:04:35,942 You made it. Yes. 73 00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:37,611 Impressive initiative. 74 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,864 I don't know what's worse, the trip or the destination. 75 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,282 (Chuckles) 76 00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:47,913 Well, let me settle in. 77 00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:50,207 And I'll be with you shortly. 78 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:51,666 Very good. 79 00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:54,920 Hey, c-span. 80 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:59,216 So my dad says an accountant can really help you out 81 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,469 if they're willing to play ball. Those were his words. 82 00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:06,473 Gosh, Andy, you had a great quarter, okay? 83 00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:10,018 Robert will understand. $800 is a rounding error. 84 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:12,562 Sornakethatenor Andy, no. 85 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,816 Hey, I can make that error. Oh_. 86 00:05:15,899 --> 00:05:20,737 Well, it's just I know that making errors sounds like your kind of thing, 87 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,073 but it's a little more complicated than that. No, I... 88 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,492 It's just I really need a real accountant on this. 89 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,329 What do you say? 90 00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,957 I am leaving early today, 91 00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:34,918 because tonight I have a trivia contest in Philadelphia. 92 00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,780 Any other crunch time, I would love 93 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,200 to stay and cook the books for you 94 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,342 so you can save face in front of your ceo, 95 00:05:42,467 --> 00:05:45,470 but tonight is triviacolypse. What? 96 00:05:45,554 --> 00:05:47,848 It's only the biggest night of trivia of the year. 97 00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:50,308 There's a $1,000 prize. 98 00:05:50,392 --> 00:05:52,472 I'm committed to my friends. They're committed to me. 99 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:55,772 You know what? Go. Have fun. 100 00:05:58,316 --> 00:06:00,944 There's a trivia contest at a bar in Philadelphia. 101 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,363 Stop right there. I love it. I'm in. 102 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,865 I didn't even say what it is. 103 00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,700 It's trivia. In Philadelphia. 104 00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:11,037 But here's the best part. The prize is $1,000, 105 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:16,209 and if we win, we can use that money to buy paper here, 106 00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:18,795 close the gap on our 8% profit increase. 107 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:21,047 That's a great idea. Yeah. That's a great plan. 108 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,550 Yeah? You like it? All right. All right, good stuff. 109 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,778 I'm so psyched you guys are into it, 'cause I thought... 110 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,554 I was like, "this sounds really stupid." 111 00:06:27,637 --> 00:06:29,806 You just made a good idea, a great idea. 112 00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,975 There is one problem with this plan. What? 113 00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:35,270 We'd have to leave work, like, right now to do this. 114 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,480 You can reduce your prices by 10%, 115 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:40,567 or we're gonna be finding a new source for our morning bagels. 116 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:41,985 All right. 117 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:47,240 Gabe, I always wondered what it is you did around here. 118 00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,451 Now I found out. You're the bagel guy. 119 00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:52,746 Yeah, but not just bagels. All unwanted problems. 120 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:56,541 Question. What's the most important appliance in your house? 121 00:06:56,833 --> 00:07:00,295 Meat grinder. (Imitates buzzer) Too slow. It's the toilet. 122 00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:02,839 And I am the toilet of this office. 123 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,507 I flush away annoying problems, 124 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:06,217 so others can keep their hands clean, 125 00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:09,095 and just like a toilet, I am essential. 126 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,432 You know, Gabe, you could have gone 127 00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:15,769 with garbage disposal, incinerator, or eraser. 128 00:07:15,852 --> 00:07:18,313 And instead you chose toilet. 129 00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:20,649 God bless you. You are an American classic. 130 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:24,945 Dwight, today is not my day at all, I'm afraid. 131 00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:26,589 I'm not going to be able to meet with you. 132 00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:29,824 But I'm leaving you in the very capable hands of our coo. 133 00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,010 But I can give you this pitch in one minute. 134 00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,178 He's gonna meet with you later. 135 00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:34,788 No, no, no. Ldont want you to rush it, okay? 136 00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,666 Trust me. Meet with bill. 137 00:07:37,749 --> 00:07:41,336 He's a great person to know. I'll dialog with him tonight. 138 00:07:43,213 --> 00:07:46,549 Ceo to coo. What a difference a letter makes. 139 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:49,552 Still an important position. Still a chief. 140 00:07:49,886 --> 00:07:51,471 You're really going to like bill. 141 00:07:51,554 --> 00:07:53,723 He has me toilet a lot of people for him. 142 00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:55,725 (Sighs) 143 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,060 (Phone rings) 144 00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,038 Hallway phone. Gabe Lewis speaking. 145 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:01,314 Robert: Gabe, listen to me. Don't bother bill with this. 146 00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,316 He needs to go put out a fire on the home front. 147 00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:07,070 Just wait 20 minutes, and then I want you to listen to Dwight's pitch. 148 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,990 Make him feel valued. Make him feel heard. 149 00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,449 Your wish is my command. 150 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:12,993 It's a command. 151 00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:23,837 I don't believe this. 152 00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:27,590 What are you doing here, Andy? You left us no choice. 153 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,300 But this should put a smile on your face. 154 00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:32,595 How would you like to be captain of the dunder Mifflin team? 155 00:08:32,679 --> 00:08:35,390 Although I reserve the right to overrule you. What? No. 156 00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:37,642 I got a quota to hit. I don't care how I hit it. 157 00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:39,394 And you guys thought this was a good idea? 158 00:08:39,477 --> 00:08:40,937 I thought it was a fun idea. 159 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:44,983 There were times on the two and a half hour drive when I experienced doubt. 160 00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:47,068 But that's the thing about long drives, 161 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,195 you know? You're always going... 162 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,322 This is a gay bar. Wait, what? 163 00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:53,283 Everyone in here is gay? 164 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:56,244 Yes. It's a gay bar, so you guys want to go home now? 165 00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,495 No. 166 00:08:57,579 --> 00:08:58,580 Meredith: No. Awesome. 167 00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:01,875 What does this say about you that you followed me here? 168 00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,102 That you think you're going to win 169 00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:05,754 your sales quota at a gay bar's trivia night? 170 00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:09,507 It says that I believe in my staff's intelligence, 171 00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:12,218 and that I'm willing to try anything. 172 00:09:15,096 --> 00:09:16,848 Not "anything." 173 00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:18,725 Good luck. 174 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:23,646 All right, we need to divide up into teams, 175 00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:27,108 but it's winner take all, so no need to divide evenly. 176 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:31,404 We need an a team, a backup team, and a just-have-fun team. 177 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,365 So you guys all know yourselves. 178 00:09:34,449 --> 00:09:36,326 Good timers, follow me. 179 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,370 Back-ups. 180 00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:46,628 Go on, kid. You know you don't belong here. 181 00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,799 A team. Okay. 182 00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:54,552 All right, everybody, nice self awareness. 183 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,181 Except... 184 00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:08,817 Okay. 185 00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,402 There's a table over here. 186 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,571 All right, first question, everyone. 187 00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:17,200 Ray Charles famously had this state on his mind. 188 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:18,701 What is its capital? 189 00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:20,203 Oh, we got this. 190 00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:22,789 Let's reverse engineer this. 191 00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,666 You're a black singer. Where do you go? 192 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,584 Somewhere where you're a novelty. 193 00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:28,336 Alaska. Atlanta. 194 00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:31,214 I know you think that, because that's where the Olympics were held. 195 00:10:31,297 --> 00:10:32,977 My cousins were actually at those Olympics. 196 00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,968 Keep talking all you want. 197 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:38,179 How am I supposed to know what was on his mind? 198 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:40,348 Ooh! What do blind people think about? 199 00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:45,478 Okay, dogs, canes, signs, manholes, stairs, piano, darkness. 200 00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:48,898 Okay, time's up. Let's get the boards up. 201 00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:51,025 Atlanta, Georgia is the correct answer. 202 00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,074 What? 203 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,535 Hey, man. Uh... 204 00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:03,329 Look, unfortunately, bill had to go fight a fire, 205 00:11:03,413 --> 00:11:05,331 so, your appointment got... 206 00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,333 There's no fires within eight miles of here. 207 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,669 Well, it's nine miles away. 208 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:11,754 I'm going to be meeting with you on his behalf. 209 00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:15,466 What? No, no. Excuse me, lady! 210 00:11:15,550 --> 00:11:19,470 Get anyone from the coo's office on the phone this instant! 211 00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:21,931 This must be very frustrating. 212 00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:26,769 I can see you in the jungle now. 213 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:32,358 Hey, now, you're not an all-star of the NBA, but you did get your game on 214 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:36,321 when you won the NBA's sixth man of the year award in 2011. 215 00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:37,864 Who are you? 216 00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,616 Jim, Darryl, your time to shine. 217 00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,701 Shawn Marion. Yes. Shawn Marion. 218 00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:45,121 That doesn't sound right. I want to say ladamien Washington? 219 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,456 Wrong for so many reasons. 220 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:48,208 Well, I know Elizabeth Taylor's sixth man 221 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,043 was Richard Burton. Is that helpful? 222 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:53,713 That's it. I'm gonna go watch the boats on the river. 223 00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,423 Ron artest, Kelly. 224 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:57,175 No, it's Lamar odom. 225 00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,277 If it had been Ron artest, it would have 226 00:11:58,301 --> 00:11:59,719 come up on dancing with the stars 227 00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:00,988 when they pan over his trophy case 228 00:12:01,012 --> 00:12:02,805 when he's at home with his family. 229 00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:05,725 Lamar winning sixth man was a big storyline on khloé and Lamar. 230 00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:08,603 All right, boards up. Let's see who got it. 231 00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:11,314 Lamar odom is what we were looking for. 232 00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:12,440 (Cheering) 233 00:12:12,523 --> 00:12:13,566 Lamar odom. 234 00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:14,793 Andy: Oh, my god, Lamar odom. 235 00:12:14,817 --> 00:12:15,860 Nice. Nicely done. 236 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:19,697 You're my sports guys. You're ESPN. You're ESPN classic. 237 00:12:19,781 --> 00:12:22,951 Ryan is msnbc. I'm e!, tlc and oxygen. 238 00:12:23,034 --> 00:12:25,620 Chill, man. This plan is airtight. 239 00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:29,207 So it's a very simple argument 240 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:32,669 of why I should be put in charge of southeast printer sales. 241 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:36,339 Nobody has sold more printers in the northeast than me. 242 00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:39,926 Bottom line, I know the product. I get it. 243 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,844 Well, you got my vote. 244 00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,556 Yeah. Oh, my god. 245 00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,726 Most of all, I believe that character is destiny, 246 00:12:49,060 --> 00:12:51,604 and my character is one that... 247 00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:53,940 Wait, why are you smiling? 248 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,358 What? What's with the smile? 249 00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:58,236 You're doing great. So good. 250 00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,531 And my character is one that will never give up 251 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:05,451 until greatness is on the horizon behind us. 252 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:11,499 Dwight, that was a fantastic presentation. Put your hand on my hand. 253 00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,212 Flush. 254 00:13:18,089 --> 00:13:19,799 Take me to Robert. Ow. He went home. 255 00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:21,676 Take me to his house. It's a condo. 256 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:22,820 It's long-term business housing. 257 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,345 You know where it is. Lead me there. 258 00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:25,722 Ow. Stephanie, help. 259 00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:29,809 Listen, you're a perfectly fine toilet. 260 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:33,146 I'm just an extraordinary piece of crap. Let's go. 261 00:13:35,189 --> 00:13:37,692 Excuse me, sir, on the dunder Mifflin a team. 262 00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:39,485 Excuse: Ne, sh: Yeah? 263 00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:41,988 I'm sure you're just checking your grindr account. 264 00:13:42,071 --> 00:13:43,072 (All laughing) 265 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,825 But you can't check smartphones 266 00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,535 during trivia. It's against the rules. 267 00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:49,245 Okay, I'm turning it off. 268 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,040 Okay, you're not turning it off. 269 00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,499 I won't look at it. 270 00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:54,625 Sir. 271 00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:57,211 I can't not touch it. 272 00:13:57,295 --> 00:14:00,214 Okay, then we're gonna have to take it away. 273 00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:04,177 Thank you. Thank you. 274 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,764 Okay, I can't not have my phone. I'm sorry. 275 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,225 I want to be with my phone. 276 00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:15,188 All right, guys, after nine rounds, let's check the scores. 277 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:18,608 In first place with nine points, it's aesop's foibles. 278 00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:23,029 The queerenstein bears have seven points. 279 00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,990 Dunder Mifflin a team has four points. 280 00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:27,074 All right. 281 00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:30,036 The dm. Backup team has three points. 282 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,580 The einsteins have eight points. (Cheering) 283 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,708 Ladies gaga have five points. 284 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:36,834 Man: Yeah! 285 00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:38,523 So our best chance of hitting our Mark 286 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:42,924 is now in the hands and brains of Kevin, Meredith, Erin and Kelly. 287 00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:44,175 Do I like these odds? 288 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,928 My answer is no. Whoo! 289 00:14:48,971 --> 00:14:51,283 Dwight: Which one is it? I don't know! All I know is the building. 290 00:14:51,307 --> 00:14:54,811 Robert! Robert California! 291 00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,188 Robefl! Dwight. 292 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,984 How nice of Gabe to show you where I live. 293 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:03,736 Come around. 102. 294 00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,905 All right, guys, time's up. 295 00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:08,741 Who was the relatively unknown patent clerk 296 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:10,743 who discovered that energy equals 297 00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,745 mass times the speed of light squared? 298 00:15:12,829 --> 00:15:14,997 Looks like everyone gets a point for Albert Einstein. 299 00:15:15,081 --> 00:15:16,082 (Cheering) 300 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:19,168 Wait, except for the einsteins. 301 00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,421 That's all right. 302 00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:23,339 Which means the top three teams 303 00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:25,341 are going to finish it off in the speed round. 304 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:27,176 So let's get everyone some bells. 305 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,054 In third place, we have the einsteins. 306 00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:31,722 Oh, yeah! What? 307 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,811 Second place, we have the queerenstein bears. 308 00:15:36,894 --> 00:15:37,979 Yeah! Comeom 309 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,356 and first place is aesop's foibles. 310 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:41,441 Whoo! 311 00:15:43,151 --> 00:15:45,403 Yeah, but they're going to get clobbered. 312 00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:48,406 Ring it in when you know it. First question. 313 00:15:48,489 --> 00:15:51,534 This man had a fatwa declared on him when... 314 00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,287 Einsteins? 315 00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:55,955 What is it? What? 316 00:15:56,038 --> 00:15:58,499 I did my part, babe. I'm just the bell girl. 317 00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,834 (Bell dinging) Aesop 's? 318 00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:02,170 Salman rushdie. Salman rushdie is correct. 319 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,383 Heading out to sea, sailors. 320 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:10,595 On a square-rigged ship, the sail 321 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,847 set furthest forward is called what? 322 00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:14,223 (Bell dings) 323 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,201 Princess ding-dong, do not hit that bell... 324 00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:17,560 Flying jib. 325 00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:20,605 Flying jib is correct for the einsteins. 326 00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:21,689 (Cheering) 327 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,652 Kevin: Flying jib. Flying jib. 328 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:28,362 Meredith: No way. 329 00:16:30,448 --> 00:16:31,616 Gentlemen. 330 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:34,243 (Sighs) 331 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:39,040 Give us just a minute. Stew and I are just finishing up our lesson. 332 00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:41,918 Trust me, one nine-minute bout 333 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:46,923 is a cardiovascular equivalent of running uphill for three hours. 334 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,886 I could go to the gym three times a week, 335 00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:53,638 or I can wrestle stew once a month. 336 00:16:56,182 --> 00:16:57,183 (Grunting) 337 00:17:01,896 --> 00:17:03,481 Grab my leg! 338 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,067 Yay, Robert! 339 00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:09,612 Guys, please help yourself to some drinks from the fridge. 340 00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,199 According to a recent survey, 341 00:17:13,282 --> 00:17:17,203 this is the most common learning disability among American adolescents. 342 00:17:17,286 --> 00:17:19,664 Boom! Adhd. No. 343 00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:22,708 (Dings) Wrong. The answer is dyslexia! 344 00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:24,544 That's correct for the einsteins. 345 00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:25,628 (Cheering) 346 00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,882 All right. Whoo! Yeah! 347 00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:34,053 Sir, sir. Dial it back. This isn't tail feathers, okay? 348 00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:35,429 (All laughing) 349 00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:40,142 Man: Yeah! 350 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:43,771 They haven't really improved on the oreo, have they? 351 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,066 No, thank you. 352 00:17:47,149 --> 00:17:48,776 Sit down, Dwight. 353 00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,156 Let me tell you why I should be 354 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,992 the next manager with a riddle. 355 00:17:57,285 --> 00:18:00,162 A manager, a salesman, a leader 356 00:18:00,288 --> 00:18:03,165 and a warrior walk into a restaurant. 357 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:06,252 The hostess says, "table for one?" 358 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:08,713 How is this possible? 359 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:13,009 You were dining alone. All those people are you. 360 00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:16,345 Yes. Exactly. Riddle number two. Who is going... 361 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,471 (Interrupting) 362 00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:24,312 Your drive, your ambition, it would be wasted on a manager's job. 363 00:18:24,395 --> 00:18:27,106 And Florida, you don't want to live here. 364 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:28,691 Even I don't want to live here. 365 00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:31,027 It's why I'm always at my place in Scranton. 366 00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:34,113 Florida is america's basement. 367 00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:39,952 It's wet. It's filled with mold, strange insects, alligators. 368 00:18:40,036 --> 00:18:43,122 Alligators are dinosaurs, Dwight. You know that, right? 369 00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:45,249 Eh... it's complicated. 370 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,383 This medal was my grandfather's. 371 00:18:55,760 --> 00:19:01,599 He received it for acts of courage, for excellence. 372 00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:07,730 It's a tribute one man gives another. 373 00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:11,525 I could give you a job, Dwight. 374 00:19:11,609 --> 00:19:15,363 But why not let me give you something even better? 375 00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:25,206 It's a job interview. Not a flea market. 376 00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:30,252 Dwight, the job is not right for you. 377 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:32,463 Now, when something comes along 378 00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,757 that is right for you, I'll try you out. 379 00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,403 Now get the hell out of my place. 380 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:39,512 Yes. 381 00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:43,349 Final round. Last two teams squaring off. 382 00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:45,434 I hope you're ready to play doctor. 383 00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:48,521 Our question is about health and the human body. 384 00:19:48,604 --> 00:19:49,730 Oh, come on. 385 00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:52,191 The standard American analog scale 386 00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:54,735 has a maximum capacity of what weight? (Dinging) 387 00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:57,029 Three hundred pounds. 388 00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:59,156 Point for the einsteins. 389 00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:03,869 Here's your final question. Cinephiles, put on your memory berets. 390 00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:08,249 This 2001 masterpiece from gilles paquet—brenner 391 00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:12,002 explores the intricate dynamics of a family in disarray. 392 00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,381 (Speaking French) 393 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:18,758 Yes! 394 00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:21,512 I'm sorry, no. Over to the einsteins. 395 00:20:21,595 --> 00:20:24,140 Les jolies choses. Meredith: Are you sure? 396 00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:29,186 Marion cotillard exposes herself 397 00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:31,480 a number of times in that film. 398 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:32,565 The einsteins win it. 399 00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:33,733 Yeah! 400 00:20:33,816 --> 00:20:35,234 Come on! 401 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:40,656 Look, I know it's easy to say tonight was just a fluke, 402 00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:44,243 and maybe it was, but here's a piece of trivia. 403 00:20:44,326 --> 00:20:48,080 A fluke is one of the most common fish in the sea. 404 00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:51,167 So if you go fishing for a fluke, 405 00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:54,295 chances are you just might catch one. 406 00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:56,172 Oh, boy. 407 00:20:58,007 --> 00:21:01,677 Welcome to the stonewall alliance trivia championships! 408 00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:05,806 First prize is $2,500. 409 00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:09,769 Let's just do our thing, collect our hardware, and get the hell home. 410 00:21:09,894 --> 00:21:11,479 Whoo! Riboflavin. 411 00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:14,231 Riboflavin? 412 00:21:14,315 --> 00:21:15,399 Michigan. 413 00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:21,363 The president of the United States 414 00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:23,365 is po tus. 415 00:21:24,366 --> 00:21:27,912 John steinbeck wrote the grapes of wrath.