1 00:00:01,042 --> 00:00:03,211 Today is the first day of sabre's new project 2 00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,463 to develop a chain of retail stores. 3 00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:09,342 I am meeting my new boss, Nellie Bertram, head of special projects. 4 00:00:10,009 --> 00:00:11,594 Work starts at 9:00. 5 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:15,306 Sabre hq is 30 minutes away driving the speed limit, 6 00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:17,642 giving everyone 20 minutes to shower, 7 00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:20,019 plus 50 for Jim to style his hair, 8 00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:24,357 20 for breakfast, 40 for Erin to get lost between her room and the lobby, 9 00:00:24,441 --> 00:00:27,068 90 for Ryan to do his morning ecstasy. 10 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:30,071 We're already 20 minutes late. 11 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,913 Wake up! (Screams) 12 00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:44,794 Hey, hey, hey, hey, wake up! Ow! 13 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:47,422 Why are you sleeping that way? 14 00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:50,800 Oh. I was reading the mattress tag and I fell asleep. 15 00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:55,346 Stanley! Wake up! You've got to wake up! The hotel's on fire! 16 00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:57,932 Stanley, wake up! It's pretzel day! 17 00:00:58,349 --> 00:00:59,350 (Sighs) 18 00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,151 Good morning. 19 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:12,113 Hey, wake up. Let's have some fun. We're in Florida now. 20 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,574 Hey, you. I'm so glad this is happening. 21 00:01:14,699 --> 00:01:17,076 I actually came to your door twice last night. 22 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,287 Come on in, the water's fine. 23 00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:20,997 Oh, not cool! 24 00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:26,044 I am on the two-kids sleep schedule, so I'm up and at 'em at 4:15. 25 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:29,756 But no kids, so I honestly didn't know what to do with myself. 26 00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:32,258 And then I thought of something. Uh... 27 00:01:33,301 --> 00:01:36,221 Here is Dwight... what the... 28 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:39,974 Oh, man. 29 00:01:40,099 --> 00:01:41,434 What do you think happened? 30 00:01:42,310 --> 00:01:44,771 Looks like Jim got mixed up with some bad apples. (Gasps) 31 00:01:45,813 --> 00:01:48,525 Oh, no, no, no, no. It wasn't me. 32 00:01:49,817 --> 00:01:52,487 I got to find "luwanda at the alcohol club." 33 00:01:54,489 --> 00:01:55,490 (Both scream) 34 00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:19,639 Puppet cool. For your kids? 35 00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:22,475 Yeah. It's weird being away from them. I've never done this before. 36 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:26,646 Attention, dunder Mifflin group, proceed outside. 37 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:29,816 The vehicle is waiting. Seats have been assigned. 38 00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:31,442 Shotgun goes to Ryan. 39 00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,570 Congratulations, Ryan. 40 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:38,190 Dwight: I need to make Nellie see me as a leader today. 41 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,702 First impressions get locked in forever. 42 00:02:41,035 --> 00:02:42,870 When I first met Pam, she said something 43 00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,789 that slightly rubbed me the wrong way. 44 00:02:44,872 --> 00:02:47,083 Since then I've loved working with Pam, 45 00:02:47,166 --> 00:02:48,835 and she's frankly wonderful, 46 00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:50,128 but I hate her. 47 00:02:51,170 --> 00:02:52,547 Iwlhave a bottle of the antacid. 48 00:02:53,047 --> 00:02:54,799 Also I want to get a souvenir for my son, 49 00:02:54,882 --> 00:02:56,569 but his mother doesn't acknowledge my paternity. 50 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:57,793 Do you have anything for that? 51 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,721 Also I want it to have a Florida feel. 52 00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:01,347 What does he like? 53 00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,099 Power. 54 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:07,937 Okay, and this one is, "huh. Don't see too many museums around here." 55 00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,356 Okay, twiggy, that's enough. Get in the car. 56 00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:11,983 Hey, are you okay? 57 00:03:12,066 --> 00:03:14,402 I'm fine, okay? I'm just stressed 58 00:03:14,485 --> 00:03:16,654 because I care about this project. 59 00:03:16,738 --> 00:03:18,218 And frankly, the fact that none of you 60 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:19,699 are vomiting or diarrheal right now, 61 00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:20,867 I find very alarming. 62 00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:22,994 Who says none of us are diarrheal? 63 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,790 Are you sure it's stress? Because I did poison you. 64 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:29,250 Very funny, Jim. 65 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,103 Oh, no, I'm serious. I was thinking for this trip, 66 00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:33,022 I have to do something epic, so what should that be? 67 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,964 And then I thought of it. I'll poison you. 68 00:03:35,423 --> 00:03:37,276 What are you going to do? Are you going to steal my newspaper, 69 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,020 or put a cricket in my cereal, or something? 70 00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:41,387 I'm gonna set your face on fire. That's a good one. 71 00:03:44,932 --> 00:03:46,643 Whoa. Stanley, did you just come back 72 00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:47,995 from burning down a rival night club? 73 00:03:48,019 --> 00:03:49,062 Laugh it up, Halpert. 74 00:03:49,145 --> 00:03:52,982 I'm in Florida for a month without my family, I'm going to enjoy this. 75 00:03:53,524 --> 00:03:56,110 Want to get in? You can work the iPod. 76 00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:58,112 Yes. 77 00:03:58,821 --> 00:04:01,949 You're a nice guy, Jim, but you have no idea how to vacation. 78 00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:03,117 Find some Kenny loggins. 79 00:04:03,242 --> 00:04:04,327 Loggins and messina. 80 00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,204 Did I say messina? 81 00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:13,169 (Yells) Sorry, I couldn't resist. It's so quiet. 82 00:04:13,252 --> 00:04:14,712 I like it. 83 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,507 It's so peaceful, I've already written 12 plays today. 84 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:22,804 It's so quiet, one might say you could hear a pin... 85 00:04:25,473 --> 00:04:26,974 I thought that would be cooler. 86 00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:28,393 I loved it 87 00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:29,811 hey can you I, ck the pin? 9 up 88 00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:31,455 some of us like to work in our bare feet. 89 00:04:31,479 --> 00:04:36,317 Of course. I will pick up the pin. It is right here. 90 00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:40,130 Got it. Can we see that? Did you really find it? 91 00:04:40,154 --> 00:04:43,324 Yes. Right here. Got it. Dink. Ow. 92 00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:47,829 In the trash. Hey, why is it so quiet? 93 00:04:47,912 --> 00:04:49,664 Shouldn't the phone be ringing? 94 00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:51,749 Uh-oh. 95 00:04:52,375 --> 00:04:53,835 Erin set the phone to voicemail. 96 00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:55,628 Andy: Great. Oh, my god, we're screwed. 97 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,423 There. (Phone ringing) 98 00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:00,717 Oh, there we go. Pam? 99 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,135 Yeah. 100 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:03,594 Can you get the phone? 101 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,012 Well, I'm not the receptionist. 102 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,431 Well, you used to be. 103 00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:10,768 I know, but I can't cover reception. I have a ton of work to do. 104 00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:12,687 Phone's ringing. 105 00:05:14,021 --> 00:05:17,692 Will one of you get the phone? I am freaking out! I know it's for me. 106 00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:21,028 (Ringing continues) 107 00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:25,783 Are you guys kidding me? Stop flirting and someone get the phone! 108 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:27,160 Answer the phone! 109 00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:28,494 Kelly: Pick up the phone! 110 00:05:28,619 --> 00:05:29,829 Andy, you're standing up! 111 00:05:29,912 --> 00:05:31,072 You're the closest one to it. 112 00:05:31,164 --> 00:05:32,248 Andy: Fine. 113 00:05:32,582 --> 00:05:34,584 Hello. Dunder Mifflin. 114 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,316 Hello, you've reached dunder Mifflin. How may I be of service? 115 00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:40,590 How was the drive? Fantastic. 116 00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:41,799 Stanley drives so fast. 117 00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:45,970 Life is short. Drive fast, leave a sexy corpse. That's one of my mottos. 118 00:05:47,221 --> 00:05:49,307 I would love to hear the other mottos. 119 00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:51,601 Quick query, Halpert. 120 00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:52,769 No way. 121 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:54,145 Still queer? 122 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:55,897 Packen 123 00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:58,733 you can't put me down. Too strong. 124 00:06:00,401 --> 00:06:03,237 Yeah, Dwight and Jim tried to get me fired. 125 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:05,782 But I landed on my feet down here in Florida. 126 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:09,076 You see, this cat's got nine lives and a nine-inch... 127 00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:13,581 Say, "so who's leading this thing anyway?" 128 00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:16,793 So who's leading this thing anyway? 129 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:22,048 Psst. Say, "I can't wait to meet him." 130 00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,217 I can't wait to meet him. 131 00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:29,680 "Him," you said? Don't think a woman can be a leader? 132 00:06:30,973 --> 00:06:34,352 You poor, simple boy. 133 00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:35,978 Expected a man, did you? 134 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:41,984 Strong, powerful, huge whopping penis? Well, sorry to disappoint. 135 00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:46,572 But my huge whopping penis is right here, and I'm not afraid to use it. 136 00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:52,078 So stop looking at my breasts, and start looking at my penis. 137 00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:59,210 I'm Nellie Bertram, president of special projects. 138 00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:01,104 In the next few weeks we're going to throw 139 00:07:01,128 --> 00:07:02,588 everything you know about business 140 00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,174 out of the window and do it our own way. 141 00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:07,593 Are your minds blown? 142 00:07:07,677 --> 00:07:11,097 So, how did this special project come about anyway? 143 00:07:11,180 --> 00:07:17,478 Well, I interviewed to be the manager of your branch. 144 00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:21,899 After you decided I wasn't a good fit... 145 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,484 It was... ah. Mmm-mmm. 146 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:26,487 It was. Iwent on a shopping spree. 147 00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:29,073 Very destructive, I bought 13 pianos. 148 00:07:29,156 --> 00:07:32,785 Then I realized, what if sabre had a store? Hmm? 149 00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:37,373 So I called Jo, old friend, founder of sabre, and I told her, 150 00:07:37,456 --> 00:07:40,418 and she grabbed me by the shoulders and she said, "yes!" 151 00:07:40,835 --> 00:07:42,879 So let's talk about this sabre store then. 152 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:45,923 Probably going to look stupid, right? 153 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,593 Like a big turd with a door on the front, right? 154 00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:50,177 What do you think it should look like? 155 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:53,264 It might be fun if each store had a different theme, 156 00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:55,725 like a beach one, a winter one, a jungle one. 157 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:57,643 No. Not a big fan of the winter aesthetic. 158 00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:59,621 Well, that was just one idea. It doesn't have to be winter. 159 00:07:59,645 --> 00:08:01,522 Oh, no, it does. It does. 160 00:08:01,606 --> 00:08:04,191 It has to be winter, and I reject it. 161 00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:09,530 So I drew up a design concept, probably going to be rubbish, right? 162 00:08:10,531 --> 00:08:13,117 Would you like to look at it? Just so you can laugh at it. 163 00:08:13,200 --> 00:08:14,243 Yeah. 164 00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:15,848 Let me just get the projector working. 165 00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:19,582 You got to stop with the antacids. It's not the antidote. 166 00:08:20,207 --> 00:08:21,834 You didn't poison me. It's just stress. 167 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,210 Okay. 168 00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,587 What is the antidote? 169 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:25,963 True love's kiss. 170 00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:27,423 Jim, help me lower this screen. 171 00:08:27,632 --> 00:08:29,467 You're a big tall man. 172 00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:32,637 You'd be hilarious trying to do it, like a little boy. 173 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,597 Just let go of his balloon. 174 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:36,974 I'll do it. (Grunts) 175 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:40,478 I always say if you want something done right, ask Dwight. 176 00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:41,562 Right, Dwight. 177 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:44,065 Right, Dwight. Right, Dwight. Right, Dwight. 178 00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:46,651 Sorry. Now you'll never be able to get that out of your head. 179 00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:47,735 (Whimpers) 180 00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:51,197 I can do it. (G roans in pain) 181 00:08:51,572 --> 00:08:52,949 (Screaming) 182 00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:57,828 There we go. 183 00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:05,962 Yes, a complete inability to pass gas, pervert. 184 00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:10,383 Yeah, it's tender, but it can't be appendicitis. I eat more than enough bacon. 185 00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:14,261 Okay, what poison mimics the symptoms of appendicitis? 186 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,596 You don't know. Hold on. 187 00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:18,307 (Grunting) 188 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,146 What kind of poison did you use? 189 00:09:24,814 --> 00:09:27,733 Dwight, I didn't poison you. I was kidding. 190 00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:33,364 Yeah, I'm going to need an ambulance. 191 00:09:34,281 --> 00:09:36,784 Hold on. I have the address in my phone. Hold on. 192 00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,471 Nellie: Sabre has assigned... hold on one second. 193 00:09:39,495 --> 00:09:41,098 The following positions in the retail division. 194 00:09:41,122 --> 00:09:42,289 Uh, quick question. 195 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:45,835 Vice president, who is that? There is no name listed. 196 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:49,797 Is there not? Maybe I'm just waiting for someone to wow me. 197 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:55,928 Sir? Sir, where should we send the ambulance? 198 00:09:56,345 --> 00:09:58,681 Send it to the freaking moon, idiot. 199 00:10:00,141 --> 00:10:02,893 I'll tell you what, though, since my move down to Florida, 200 00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:05,146 I've really gotten back into hunting, big-time. 201 00:10:05,604 --> 00:10:09,191 Nellie: Hunting's so primal, almost sexual. Todd: Totally. 202 00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:10,901 Yeah, I mean, I'd never bang an animal. 203 00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:12,129 You can hardly tell the difference 204 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,296 between a boy or a girl, you know? 205 00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:14,739 But hunting's intense. 206 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,240 You talking about hunting? 207 00:10:16,323 --> 00:10:17,867 I love hunting. I'm a master hunter. 208 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:19,952 Did you say "masturbator"? 209 00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:22,705 I'm a decent baiter. My cousin, mose, that's a master baiter. 210 00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,832 Why are you sitting down like that? 211 00:10:25,332 --> 00:10:26,959 Why is everyone else standing up? 212 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:30,296 Okay, team, let's get back to work! Break's over. 213 00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:34,216 Wow. Are you that bored? 214 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:37,386 It's just rum. I'm not bored. I'm a pirate. 215 00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:39,138 Is that another motto? 216 00:10:39,263 --> 00:10:40,806 It's whatever you want. 217 00:10:41,182 --> 00:10:42,183 Hmm. 218 00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:43,791 Or do you only drink with your kids? 219 00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:45,186 No, let's do it. 220 00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,395 Woah. That's healthy. 221 00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,898 I've spent so much of my life telling myself, 222 00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,192 "please, don't end up like Stanley." 223 00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:56,363 And now I'm wondering if I even have what it takes. 224 00:10:57,239 --> 00:11:03,204 We have the sabre pyramid, right? We've got a bunch of humans. 225 00:11:03,370 --> 00:11:06,373 You guys. Humans, pyramid. 226 00:11:06,665 --> 00:11:08,876 Human pyramid. Do you follow? 227 00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:11,712 It's a team-building exercise. 228 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,380 You love it. Who's in? 229 00:11:14,882 --> 00:11:16,300 Tallahassee, let's go. 230 00:11:16,383 --> 00:11:17,468 Jim, are you in? 231 00:11:17,551 --> 00:11:18,886 Oh, I don't know. 232 00:11:19,011 --> 00:11:20,346 Sounds like a hoot. I'm in. 233 00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:23,224 All right. What the heck? Let's do it. 234 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,643 This is great. This is going to be great. 235 00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:27,394 Nellie: I feel like I'm in ancient Egypt. 236 00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:30,689 I'll be on top. That's the most important position. 237 00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,775 Dude, I think you have appendicitis. (Groans) 238 00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:35,069 Dwight, why don't we just hold off 239 00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:37,071 with the human pyramids for a while? 240 00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:39,198 Everyone stop moving. Everyone stop wiggling. 241 00:11:39,281 --> 00:11:40,521 I feel like I'm going to vomit. 242 00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:42,701 Dude, don't you yak on me. This shirt is Van heusen. 243 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:43,869 Oh, stop moving. 244 00:11:44,411 --> 00:11:46,914 No one's moving. (Groaning) 245 00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:48,749 (All gasping) 246 00:11:50,417 --> 00:11:52,294 Arrest Jim. He poisoned me. 247 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:55,172 What? No. No. It was not a poisoning. 248 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:57,299 The one thing Pam made sure I knew, 249 00:11:57,424 --> 00:11:59,510 Florida's pretty loose with the death penalty. 250 00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:01,437 You need an operation. You have appendicitis. 251 00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:04,098 Oh! Who called it? Nothing but net. 252 00:12:04,181 --> 00:12:05,432 How long will he be gone? 253 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:06,809 Two or three days. 254 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,019 Don't remember me like this. 255 00:12:09,103 --> 00:12:11,689 Remember me as the man who pulled down the screen. 256 00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:12,972 Todd: Drama queen, am I right? 257 00:12:16,193 --> 00:12:18,612 Philip, if you're hearing this memo, 258 00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:21,198 that can only mean one thing, I am dead. 259 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:26,203 You are the rightful heir to schrute farms. Please, you must do one thing. 260 00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:28,789 Kill mose before he kills you. 261 00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:34,795 Mose. Hey, it's Dwight. 262 00:12:34,879 --> 00:12:36,523 Listen, yeah, I just want to give you a heads up. 263 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:37,923 That was an interesting diversion. 264 00:12:38,048 --> 00:12:39,466 Should we get back to the meeting? 265 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,344 Woah. Are those mini pizzas? 266 00:12:42,469 --> 00:12:44,597 Yeah. I figure if we keep things savory 267 00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:46,849 while Oscar's mouth is in canker country... 268 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:49,185 I also have some bacon-wrapped dates on deck. 269 00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:53,355 Look at these little mini pizzas. Does this make me look huge? 270 00:12:54,481 --> 00:12:57,568 (Giggles) Hey, guys, look at me, I'm huge. 271 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,946 Hey, Darryl, good news, your fax went through. 272 00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,490 Oh (bleep) Yeah. 273 00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:04,658 Up high. 274 00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,065 Yes, sir. Thanks. (Phone rings) 275 00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:09,455 Dunder Mifflin, this is Andy. I put out some new magazines. Check it out. 276 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,040 Ah, dwell. 277 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,838 Andy: I'm acting like I like reception, and I'm a really good actor 278 00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:21,383 so people are actually buying that I actually like reception. 279 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,345 But I mean, seriously, reception sucks. 280 00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,118 (Phone rings) Ooh! There's the phone! 281 00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,515 Dwight: I just got out of surgery. 282 00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:30,893 What's going on? Fill me in. 283 00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:34,188 Well, we broke into groups and the groups are giving presentations later. 284 00:13:34,521 --> 00:13:36,023 Who's doing the presentations? 285 00:13:36,523 --> 00:13:37,691 Packer's giving one. 286 00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,526 Jim will probably give ours, I guess. 287 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:40,653 Damn it! 288 00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:43,614 Let's see. What else have you missed? 289 00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:45,991 Ryan switched his nametag to his pants, 290 00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:47,534 so now it's like if you wear yours 291 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,078 on your shirt, you're a total dip. 292 00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:51,247 But if you switch, you're a copycat. 293 00:13:51,372 --> 00:13:53,499 But I think I figured out a solution. 294 00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,378 What else? My shoes are... (Groans) 295 00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:00,214 Features the tech support area. Bring in your product, 296 00:14:00,297 --> 00:14:02,800 a bunch of nerdy virgins fix it on the spot. 297 00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:04,218 Huge for building loyalty. 298 00:14:04,301 --> 00:14:06,053 Yes, that is a very good point. 299 00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,763 Yeah, Todd, decent idea. 300 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:10,849 Obvious, but interesting. 301 00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:12,518 Dwight, are you all right? 302 00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:14,103 I'm great. How are you? 303 00:14:21,902 --> 00:14:23,404 What's our presentation about? 304 00:14:23,487 --> 00:14:24,673 Dwight, will you go back to the hospital? 305 00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,115 You were there for like three hours. 306 00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:27,918 I got the surgery. What else is there to do? 307 00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:29,803 Do 100 jumping Jacks. No. I don't feel like it. 308 00:14:29,827 --> 00:14:31,036 You do 100 jumping Jacks. 309 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,288 I don't feel like it either. 310 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:34,915 Ninety-seven, 98, 99... 311 00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:36,667 I want the vice presidency. 312 00:14:36,750 --> 00:14:38,103 You haven't done any of the research. 313 00:14:38,127 --> 00:14:40,838 You're too slow. You're too small. Seabiscuit is a stupid name. 314 00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:42,857 You guys sound just like the enemies of seabiscuit. 315 00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:44,133 I'm going to do it. 316 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,718 Oh, let him do it. 317 00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,244 Stanley, are you listening to music? 318 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:53,017 All right, who's ready for the next presentation? 319 00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,269 Oh... what is your topic? 320 00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:59,189 What is our topic? Oh, what a topic it is. Mmm-hmm. 321 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:00,774 Retail consumer habits. 322 00:15:01,233 --> 00:15:02,818 Really? Okay. 323 00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:05,571 Retail consumer habits is... 324 00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:09,384 The only thing you need to know 325 00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:10,760 about retail consumer habits is that 326 00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:13,203 consumers are mindless lemmings. 327 00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,789 They just want to be told what to do. 328 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:22,338 Fast-forward to today, and the retail consumer is independent, 329 00:15:22,629 --> 00:15:26,759 well-informed, super smart. Super smart. 330 00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:28,469 Okay. 331 00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:34,558 Shopping habits are both seasonal and cyclical. 332 00:15:34,641 --> 00:15:35,768 What does this mean? 333 00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:36,935 I can field this one. 334 00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,145 No, sit down. 335 00:15:38,228 --> 00:15:42,941 Seasonal, well, the Christmas shopping season is certainly a busy one. 336 00:15:43,025 --> 00:15:44,735 Back to school is as well, 337 00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:47,071 and in early summer it seems to slow down a bit. 338 00:15:47,154 --> 00:15:48,906 But shopping is also cyclical. 339 00:15:48,989 --> 00:15:53,243 The menstrual cycle determines every choice a woman makes. 340 00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:58,665 You see, during ovulation, a woman's only goal is to get pregnant. 341 00:15:58,874 --> 00:16:02,336 During menses, she is sad that she has failed. 342 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:05,255 And how does the woman console herself? 343 00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:07,716 Shopping. Shopping. 344 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,677 Just, Jim, could you fetch me some ice chips? 345 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:17,935 Thank you. Just gonna take a brief pause at this point. 346 00:16:18,519 --> 00:16:19,520 Thank you. 347 00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:22,439 Oh, god. 348 00:16:25,484 --> 00:16:26,693 Next slide. 349 00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:30,781 Mail call! 350 00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:33,909 His name is Oscar, and he's got some mail 351 00:16:33,992 --> 00:16:37,955 and he better open it or go to jail, 'cause it's your taxes 352 00:16:38,038 --> 00:16:41,125 his name is Kevin, and no mail for him 353 00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:44,461 but he got a coupon for some frozen yogurt 354 00:16:45,879 --> 00:16:47,464 are those the lyrics? 355 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,383 "Anderson's three pillars of retail." 356 00:16:49,466 --> 00:16:51,718 Crucial. So important. 357 00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:55,180 Next. 358 00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:57,766 Are there any questions? 359 00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:01,437 What are the three pillars of retail? 360 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,732 Convenience. Ingredients. 361 00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:07,818 Service. Burgers. 362 00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:08,986 Building loyalty. 363 00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:10,154 Killing royalty. 364 00:17:11,029 --> 00:17:12,448 But truth be told, we should really 365 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,241 disregard Anderson's three pillars. 366 00:17:14,950 --> 00:17:17,202 He was later diagnosed with dementia. 367 00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:20,080 You know what is important? 368 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:24,585 Is Dwight's pillars, and there's only one, desire. 369 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:28,547 Do we have a desire to dominate the retail space? 370 00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:30,674 Not just succeed in it, but to dominate. 371 00:17:30,757 --> 00:17:33,093 And looking around this room, I'm not so sure that we do. 372 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:34,178 But we can get there. 373 00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:38,390 And I can lead us there, and that is all that matters. 374 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:41,101 Very true. Where there's a will, there's a way. 375 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:43,896 I once spent a passionate night 376 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:46,690 with Hugh Grant's brother, John Grant. 377 00:17:46,773 --> 00:17:50,110 He's older than Hugh, just a little bit uglier. 378 00:17:50,277 --> 00:17:51,487 How did I pull that off? 379 00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:54,072 Sheer force of will. 380 00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,449 That is very good, Dwight. 381 00:17:55,699 --> 00:17:57,826 Thank you very much. Any other questions? 382 00:17:58,368 --> 00:17:59,870 Jim. 383 00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:01,497 You are bleeding through your shirt. 384 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:03,916 Oops. 385 00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:08,795 That's embarrassing. Egg on my face. 386 00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:15,427 Hey, having fun? 387 00:18:15,552 --> 00:18:17,554 Yes, I am, as a matter of fact. 388 00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:20,474 Oh, I know how it is. I know it's a lot of fun. 389 00:18:20,557 --> 00:18:22,643 I don't know how it is. Andy, this is a lame job. 390 00:18:22,726 --> 00:18:24,102 What are you doing here? 391 00:18:25,103 --> 00:18:26,313 I found my calling. 392 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:31,818 Andy, when I was 12 years old, we did a field trip, a lock-in at the zoo. 393 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:37,533 I met this girl. I thought she was so perfect. I was in love with her. 394 00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:40,994 But when the sun came up, I knew it wasn't real 395 00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:44,206 because she was ugly and I had grown tired of her. 396 00:18:45,165 --> 00:18:46,667 I know you want reception today, 397 00:18:46,833 --> 00:18:48,377 but tomorrow you won't want to do her. 398 00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:49,962 She's a dog. 399 00:18:50,879 --> 00:18:52,798 Guys, I don't like this analogy. 400 00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:56,468 Oh, fine. 401 00:19:02,599 --> 00:19:03,642 Did you see this? 402 00:19:03,725 --> 00:19:04,726 It's nice. 403 00:19:04,851 --> 00:19:05,894 I mean... 404 00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:08,272 (Giggles) 405 00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:10,399 How are you feeling? 406 00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:11,775 Amazing. 407 00:19:11,858 --> 00:19:13,360 Just lost four ounces of appendix, 408 00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:15,028 already replaced it with muscle. 409 00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:17,239 Can I see the wound? 410 00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:25,914 Oh, that's disgusting. That's barely healed. 411 00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,959 You're not paying me to heal. You're paying me to kick ass. 412 00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:33,714 A few hours ago, your body was open like a cabinet. 413 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,091 That's right. That is amazing. 414 00:19:36,174 --> 00:19:37,426 Todd, look at that. 415 00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:38,802 Oh, yikes! 416 00:19:38,885 --> 00:19:40,012 Incoming. 417 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:41,221 Not so fast. 418 00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:42,889 Would you come in early tomorrow, 419 00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:45,058 so we could talk about the store over breakfast? 420 00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:48,186 I feel you have a lot to offer. 421 00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:49,563 It would be an honor, ma'am. 422 00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:52,608 I'll go ahead and cancel my post-op checkup right now. 423 00:19:53,108 --> 00:19:54,401 I had two goals today, 424 00:19:54,484 --> 00:19:57,863 the first was to make myself the clear candidate for vice president. 425 00:19:57,946 --> 00:20:00,616 I achieved that, no thanks to my appendix. 426 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:03,577 The second was to find a memorable souvenir for Philip. 427 00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:06,913 For that, I do have to thank my appendix. 428 00:20:08,915 --> 00:20:10,334 (Phone ringing) 429 00:20:18,091 --> 00:20:19,902 Dunder Mifflin, how can I help you save money on paper? 430 00:20:19,926 --> 00:20:21,595 This is Andrew. 431 00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,347 Woman: Hi, Andrew. What happened to Erin? 432 00:20:23,430 --> 00:20:26,141 Oh, she's on an assignment in Florida for a couple weeks. 433 00:20:26,224 --> 00:20:28,352 Oh, good for her. She's such a sweetheart. 434 00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,646 You tell her Donna moraski misses her. 435 00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:33,023 I miss her, too. 436 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,694 Everyone, we have a very special guest. 437 00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:42,199 He turned an idea into a store, into hundreds of stores. 438 00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:46,370 I give you Wally Amos, founder of famous Amos cookies. 439 00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:47,537 Yeah! 440 00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:48,705 (All cheering) 441 00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:53,293 So I hear you're all looking to 442 00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,295 bake up some dough in the sales game. 443 00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:58,382 Well, back when I was regular Amos... 444 00:20:58,465 --> 00:20:59,591 What's under the cloth? 445 00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:01,134 We'll get to that. 446 00:21:01,259 --> 00:21:02,859 Cookies. I bet you anything it's cookies. 447 00:21:03,136 --> 00:21:04,471 It's cookies. 448 00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:06,932 Let me finish my speech first. 449 00:21:07,140 --> 00:21:10,602 Oh, we get the gist. It's just success and effort, isn't it? 450 00:21:10,686 --> 00:21:13,522 So just don't be coy. Make with the cookies. 451 00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:14,981 Cookies. 452 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,483 Cookies. 453 00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:19,403 Famous, hi. 454 00:21:19,486 --> 00:21:22,114 I'm sure you get ideas for new cookies all the time. 455 00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:25,409 But I... Is it oatmeal with no raisins? 456 00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:26,719 I'm sorry to have wasted your time. 457 00:21:26,743 --> 00:21:28,023 That's okay. Thank you very much.