1 00:00:01,878 --> 00:00:03,880 Andy's coming back today. 2 00:00:06,257 --> 00:00:07,592 Andy's coming back today. 3 00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:08,718 (Squeals softly) 4 00:00:10,136 --> 00:00:11,554 E ri n: Andy's coming back today. 5 00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:15,016 David Wallace sent him on an outward bound wilderness adventure 6 00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:18,102 for a whole month to make him more decisive and confident. 7 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:19,687 He sent his own son, too, 8 00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:22,648 and the counselor said they both grew up, big time. 9 00:00:26,611 --> 00:00:29,280 How was my summer? It was pretty mixed. 10 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:32,450 I invented a new power drink made out of beet runoff. 11 00:00:32,575 --> 00:00:34,285 Mmm. Mmm! 12 00:00:35,119 --> 00:00:36,954 So that's really good. 13 00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:38,873 But I got some disappointing medical news. 14 00:00:41,792 --> 00:00:44,170 Mr. Schrute, the results are in. You're not the father. 15 00:00:44,253 --> 00:00:46,756 I told you. God. 16 00:00:48,174 --> 00:00:49,800 (Retching) Om (screams) 17 00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:51,260 Oh, my god! 18 00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:56,015 Oh! What a summer! An emotional roller coaster. 19 00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,809 I ran over a turtle in the parking lot. (Clattering) 20 00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:00,353 (Whimpers) 21 00:01:00,436 --> 00:01:04,649 But then I saved him by gluing his shell back together. 22 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,735 But I'm not that good at puzzles. 23 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,362 That piece doesn't go there. 24 00:01:09,487 --> 00:01:10,738 Shh. 25 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:13,491 So I patched him with stuff from around the office, 26 00:01:15,076 --> 00:01:18,120 but I couldn't get the pieces to fit right. 27 00:01:18,246 --> 00:01:21,540 Then one day, while I was reaching for the glue, 28 00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:23,584 (crunching) 29 00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:25,711 I crushed his shell again. 30 00:01:26,045 --> 00:01:29,257 But I rebuilt him even better that time. 31 00:01:29,674 --> 00:01:34,470 But it turned out the turtle was already dead. 32 00:01:35,888 --> 00:01:39,350 Probably when I ran over him the first time. 33 00:01:40,393 --> 00:01:41,852 For us? Um... 34 00:01:43,062 --> 00:01:44,939 Nothing new, really. The kids are great. 35 00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:46,941 You are really good at modesty. She's a genius. 36 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:49,277 She painted this incredible mural in the kids' room. 37 00:01:49,402 --> 00:01:50,921 Okay. There's a hippo leading a parade... 38 00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:52,089 Of 500 children through the village. 39 00:01:52,113 --> 00:01:53,553 Well, you had that interesting thing. 40 00:01:53,906 --> 00:01:55,283 Oh! Yeah. 41 00:01:55,366 --> 00:01:57,660 Yes, Jim's friend is starting a new company 42 00:01:57,743 --> 00:01:59,161 based on this idea that Jim had 43 00:01:59,287 --> 00:02:00,663 when they were back in college. 44 00:02:00,746 --> 00:02:03,958 It's sports marketing, basically, but the athletes are partners. 45 00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:05,626 And he wanted Jim to be a partner, too. 46 00:02:05,710 --> 00:02:09,505 In Philly, so that doesn't really work for the family. 47 00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:13,342 But watch this guy make a billion dollars off my idea. 48 00:02:13,426 --> 00:02:15,570 He said if it takes off, he's going to buy us a new car. 49 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,388 An altima or better. 50 00:02:18,431 --> 00:02:20,308 Toby: Kelly kapoor is gone. 51 00:02:20,391 --> 00:02:23,311 Her fiancé, Ravi, was hired as a pediatrics professor 52 00:02:23,561 --> 00:02:25,021 at Miami university. 53 00:02:25,104 --> 00:02:26,522 I don't need 'em anymore. 54 00:02:26,605 --> 00:02:29,191 I am going to Miami, biyatches, 55 00:02:29,275 --> 00:02:32,570 to hang with LeBron James and Gloria estefan! 56 00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:35,740 Miami university, in Ohio. 57 00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:39,285 On her last day, Kelly was still a little confused about it. 58 00:02:39,577 --> 00:02:40,786 Enjoy the snow, losers! 59 00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:42,580 I'm so happy for you, Kelly. 60 00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:46,667 Shortly after Kelly left, Ryan quit 61 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:49,003 and also moved to Ohio, 62 00:02:49,253 --> 00:02:51,130 for what he claimed were unrelated reasons. 63 00:02:51,422 --> 00:02:54,133 Ryan: I've actually done a lot of market research, and it turns out 64 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:57,053 that southwestern Ohio is going to be the next silicon valley. 65 00:02:57,136 --> 00:02:59,180 They call it the silicon prairie. 66 00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:02,475 It's a big university town and, uh_. 67 00:03:04,560 --> 00:03:06,479 This is not garbage. It's my clothes. 68 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:08,981 And that was our summer. 69 00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:13,736 We good? Man: Yeah, thanks. 70 00:03:15,071 --> 00:03:16,822 Don't you guys have everything? I mean, 71 00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:18,783 it's just a paper company. 72 00:03:19,575 --> 00:03:22,912 Man: Well, we're more following you guys, to see how you turn out. 73 00:03:22,995 --> 00:03:26,624 Oh! Yeah, I guess we were kind of dramatic in the beginning. 74 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,209 Well. 75 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:30,795 I don't think anything's going to change in our lives now. 76 00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:32,296 With work and two kids, 77 00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:36,967 I guess nothing interesting is going to happen to us for a long, long time. 78 00:04:04,537 --> 00:04:06,539 Andy's coming back today. 79 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:10,251 Hey, does anybody know where we throw these out? 80 00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:13,504 Oh, my god. It's called a garbage can. 81 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,588 Helpless. 82 00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:17,425 There's two new guys back there with me now. 83 00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:20,553 They're in their 203. We really get along. 84 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,138 Looking good! 85 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:26,100 We're just three single guys, getting into trouble. 86 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,519 They're like the new Jim and Dwight. 87 00:04:28,811 --> 00:04:29,854 (Laughs) 88 00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:33,274 Oh. Yes. Yes, I see that. Perfect. 89 00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:36,527 Hey, new Jim. Come sit on my face. 90 00:04:37,027 --> 00:04:39,780 No, thank you. My name's Pete. 91 00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:43,367 No, Pete is not the new Jim. 92 00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,053 The only thing we have in common 93 00:04:45,077 --> 00:04:47,197 is that neither of us wants to sit on Meredith's face. 94 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,498 And if that makes him the new Jim, 95 00:04:49,582 --> 00:04:52,501 then every human being in the world is the new Jim. 96 00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:54,545 Andy's here! Old Dwight! New Dwight! 97 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,297 Andy's here! New Jim! Tuna! Andy's here! 98 00:04:56,380 --> 00:04:57,381 Pam. He's here. 99 00:04:57,465 --> 00:04:58,841 (Door opens) (Squeals excitedly) 100 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:01,552 Ah! 101 00:05:01,719 --> 00:05:05,431 Wow! I thought about this place a lot when I was on solo. 102 00:05:06,098 --> 00:05:09,143 Three days on a mountain. It'll change you. (Laughs) 103 00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:10,686 The things we think we need. 104 00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,396 Clocks! Yeah, right. 105 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,274 It sounds amazing. Tell us all about it. 106 00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:16,609 What are you still doing here? 107 00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:19,361 Wonderful, thanks. 108 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,740 You know, I had this really funny dream during outward bound 109 00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:24,033 that you died. 110 00:05:24,533 --> 00:05:25,868 (Chuckles) (Andylaughs) 111 00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:27,244 Brilliant! 112 00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:29,663 See me in my office later. 113 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:33,959 The new guys! All right. It's Clark and, uh... 114 00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:35,961 Pete. (Stuttering) 115 00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:38,023 In outward bound, it was all about nicknames. 116 00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:39,673 They called me "iceman." 117 00:05:39,757 --> 00:05:41,509 You will be called plop. 118 00:05:41,592 --> 00:05:42,635 What? Why? 119 00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:43,778 'Cause you're always taking dumps. 120 00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:44,803 No, I'm not. 121 00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:47,097 Come on, everybody defecates. Relax, plop. 122 00:05:47,598 --> 00:05:49,743 You will be called fart. Because you fart all the time. 123 00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:50,768 I love it! 124 00:05:51,101 --> 00:05:53,854 Actually, Andy, we call this one Dwight Jr. 125 00:05:53,938 --> 00:05:55,022 You know, I prefer fart. 126 00:05:55,105 --> 00:05:57,942 No! Dwight Jr., infinitely better. 127 00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:00,694 You guys look exactly alike. Dwight, go stand next to him. 128 00:06:00,778 --> 00:06:02,571 Andy: This is insane. No, we... 129 00:06:02,655 --> 00:06:05,199 Idontseeit idontenher idontenher 130 00:06:05,449 --> 00:06:08,869 whoa! (Imitates explosion) Mind blown! 131 00:06:08,953 --> 00:06:10,037 It's like father and son. 132 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:15,543 That's... (Sighs) 133 00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:18,212 Andy: Dwight, you cool if we call him Dwight Jr.? 134 00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:20,089 Yes. 135 00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:21,799 Yes, I am. 136 00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:26,929 That's okay. 137 00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:28,806 Dwight Jr. 138 00:06:30,683 --> 00:06:32,601 In a way, it's like I have a son. 139 00:06:32,685 --> 00:06:34,979 And who knows? Maybe someday they'll hire someone 140 00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,981 who looks like a younger version of him. 141 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:39,191 And then I'll have a grandson. 142 00:06:39,441 --> 00:06:41,694 Vveh, ineed to give my cat up for adoption. 143 00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:42,820 Mmm. 144 00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:44,363 The one who uses the doorbell, 145 00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,031 or the one with the Mexican hat, 146 00:06:46,115 --> 00:06:47,908 or the one with the rain galoshes, 147 00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,827 or the one that you let go around naked? 148 00:06:49,994 --> 00:06:51,537 Angela's cats are cute. 149 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:54,498 So cute that you just want to eat them. 150 00:06:55,374 --> 00:06:57,334 But you can't eat cats. 151 00:06:58,502 --> 00:07:00,713 You can't eat cats, Kevin. 152 00:07:02,006 --> 00:07:05,676 No, the one with the long hair and the denim pants. Comstock. 153 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:06,802 Oh! 154 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:09,597 Okay, look. He's such a special kitty. 155 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,599 I just want to find him a good home. 156 00:07:11,682 --> 00:07:13,976 (Soft music playing) 157 00:07:15,686 --> 00:07:17,354 He loves those pants. 158 00:07:18,606 --> 00:07:19,940 (Angela sighs) 159 00:07:20,024 --> 00:07:21,358 I'll take him. 160 00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:23,235 Please. After the turtle? 161 00:07:23,319 --> 00:07:26,363 I am enormously proud of what I did for that turtle! 162 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,283 Oscar? Oscar, will you take him? 163 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:30,618 No, I'm a dog person. 164 00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:35,456 If you pray enough, you can change yourself into a cat person. 165 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:37,499 Those guys always turn back, Angela. 166 00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:42,504 David, outward bound was incredible! I was the best at slacklining. 167 00:07:42,588 --> 00:07:43,589 I ate a worm. 168 00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:44,754 David: I'm glad to hearit. 169 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,842 You sound really confident and decisive. 170 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,719 (Knock on door) Hey, you wanted to see me? 171 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:49,886 Yeah. Got to go, David. 172 00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:51,055 (Beeps) 173 00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,514 Why is Nellie still here? 174 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,000 You can only fire Nellie for cause. 175 00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:56,727 Mmm. Then I will make up a cause. 176 00:07:57,019 --> 00:07:59,099 Except you just told me you were going to make it up. 177 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,398 Now if she sues, I'll have to testify against you. 178 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,734 Then forget I just told you that. Can't. 179 00:08:04,276 --> 00:08:06,695 I took a course at the weintraub memory academy. 180 00:08:06,779 --> 00:08:09,156 I sat next to this woman named Beverly Brooke, 181 00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:11,158 she had a Greek salad for lunch. 182 00:08:11,325 --> 00:08:12,326 See what I mean? 183 00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:15,412 Now I know why Michael hated you so much. 184 00:08:15,913 --> 00:08:17,039 Andy. 185 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,547 Good boy. Getting big and strong. 186 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,299 Snack foods! 187 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,343 Yep. (Chuckles awkwardly) 188 00:08:30,094 --> 00:08:31,220 Body by cheez-it. 189 00:08:31,595 --> 00:08:34,014 Ah! Humor. I have it, too. 190 00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:37,643 Oh, boy, I got a couple of tickets 191 00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:39,978 to the slayer concert 10 months from now. 192 00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:41,772 You interested? 193 00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:45,109 I think I'm busy that night, or I would. 194 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:50,114 Mmm. Okay, well, we're both just kind of learning as we go, aren't we? 195 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:51,907 Learning what? Just 196 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,743 how this is going to be, you know? 197 00:08:56,704 --> 00:08:58,455 You have a beautiful round head. 198 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:02,960 Okay. So what kind of farming are you into, huh? 199 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,295 More of a fruit man or a root man? 200 00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:07,715 (Chuckles) 201 00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:10,968 Hey, is this code for, like, gay stuff? 202 00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:13,780 'Cause, if so, that's totally fine. Like, I'm fine with it, 203 00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:16,515 but, you know, you should know that I'm into the ladies. 204 00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:19,435 Spoken like a true root man. 205 00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:21,729 Hey, you know? If you're ever swamped, 206 00:09:21,854 --> 00:09:23,647 I can make some sales calls for you. 207 00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:25,648 (Nervously) My calls? 208 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:28,026 So could you give me a list of all your clients, 209 00:09:28,152 --> 00:09:30,046 or just the leads that you haven't had time to pursue yet? 210 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,448 You want a list of my clients? You want my leads? 211 00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,093 Yeah, I'll just give it a glance. Okay. 212 00:09:34,158 --> 00:09:35,325 I'll give it a read. 213 00:09:35,451 --> 00:09:37,171 You know, with my leads and stuff like that. 214 00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:39,419 Because you're interested in going into sales. 215 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,582 I am. Yeah. Wow, that's great. 216 00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:44,251 That's great. Okay, good. Let's talk about that. 217 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:45,419 Okay. Okay? 218 00:09:46,587 --> 00:09:48,213 You're not getting my clients! 219 00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:49,548 Nice try. 220 00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:53,635 Paranoid? I'm not familiar with the word. 221 00:09:53,719 --> 00:09:56,114 And I really don't have time to learn new words right now, okay? 222 00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:58,640 (Whispering) A pudgy 22-year-old is trying to take my job. 223 00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:03,937 Jim, get ready for the battle of your life. 224 00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:05,522 Done. Explain. 225 00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:08,609 The new guys. Dwight Jr. is after my job. 226 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:12,237 Yeah. There is a shark hiding inside that adorable little cherub. 227 00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:13,715 Oh! Now I get what Pete was talking about 228 00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,073 at the sales meeting yesterday. 229 00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:18,202 Wait, sales? What sales meeting? 230 00:10:18,494 --> 00:10:19,536 The new guys called one. 231 00:10:19,703 --> 00:10:20,847 The new guys called a sales meeting? 232 00:10:20,871 --> 00:10:23,415 Clark ended the whole thing with a karate demonstration. 233 00:10:23,499 --> 00:10:25,139 Did you know there was a belt above black? 234 00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,085 There is no belt above black. 235 00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,716 Is there a belt above black? You should ask him. 236 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:31,197 It's a color you would never expect. 237 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,137 Too easy. (Pam chuckles) 238 00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:40,432 Attention, everyone! Comstock is still available. 239 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:43,060 Oscar has been flirting with adopting him, 240 00:10:43,185 --> 00:10:45,521 but still hasn't given me a definite yes or no. 241 00:10:45,604 --> 00:10:47,439 Definitely no. Fine. 242 00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:51,568 For any interested candidates, I will be conducting 20-minute interviews. 243 00:10:52,110 --> 00:10:57,282 My ideal situation would be an independently wealthy cute couple 244 00:10:57,366 --> 00:10:58,909 with a strong commitment to education. 245 00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:01,912 Black or white, I'm fine with either, but not both. 246 00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:05,332 Listen, you're in this, but you need to wow me, okay? 247 00:11:07,543 --> 00:11:10,838 I wanted to talk to you about our working relationship this year. 248 00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:12,506 It's going to be terrible. 249 00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:14,925 Not necessarily. 250 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:18,011 No, I'm going to make sure that it is, 251 00:11:18,095 --> 00:11:21,598 and if it isn't, I will take immediate action to rectify that. 252 00:11:22,641 --> 00:11:26,436 Now, I don't like to throw around the "b" word. 253 00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:29,773 But I'm going to be a huge bitch to you. 254 00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:35,028 Now this is called slacklining. 255 00:11:35,112 --> 00:11:37,112 Andy: Iset up the old slackline to teach the office 256 00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:39,366 the skills of focus and discipline, 257 00:11:39,658 --> 00:11:41,577 or in the case of certain individuals, 258 00:11:41,660 --> 00:11:44,955 the skills of humiliation and looking really dumb. 259 00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:47,897 If you make it all the way across, your confidence will soar. 260 00:11:47,958 --> 00:11:51,712 But if you Toby out, (Exclaiming) 261 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,445 Then you'll feel like a real Nellie. 262 00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:55,382 How about a hand, screw those guys. 263 00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:59,928 Now, these are my actual outward bound counselors, rafe and feather. 264 00:12:00,012 --> 00:12:01,847 Iceman. That's me. 265 00:12:02,347 --> 00:12:04,391 The powder is for your protection. 266 00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,184 Feather has permanent athlete's foot. 267 00:12:06,268 --> 00:12:09,605 Feather, show them how you dance upon the line of slack. 268 00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:14,943 You, uh, you a sports guy? 269 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:18,071 Sure. Boxing, tennis. 270 00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:20,073 Oh! Any team sports? 271 00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:22,993 Nascar, the amazing race. 272 00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:26,413 Phillies fan though, right? 273 00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:27,664 You mean horses? 274 00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:30,792 No. Like baseball, the baseball team. 275 00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:33,587 I like the Red Sox. I'm from Vermont, so... 276 00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:35,631 Okay. Good talk. 277 00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:39,343 I have nothing in common with plop. 278 00:12:39,676 --> 00:12:41,428 All right, who's next? Nellie! 279 00:12:42,346 --> 00:12:45,223 Oh, I would rather watch you and your talented friends. 280 00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:47,100 Nonsense, get up here. 281 00:12:47,225 --> 00:12:48,727 Go ahead. 282 00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,020 Andy: Come on. 283 00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,067 Uh, you going to wear your heels? 284 00:12:55,567 --> 00:12:57,527 I'm very self-conscious about my feet. 285 00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:01,949 Okay. There you go! Attagirl. 286 00:13:02,032 --> 00:13:05,702 Hey, all right. Whoa, you suck. (Chuckles) 287 00:13:07,371 --> 00:13:09,164 All right, who's next? Darryl? 288 00:13:09,539 --> 00:13:10,558 This seems like the kind of thing 289 00:13:10,582 --> 00:13:11,862 white people with dreadlocks do. 290 00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,877 Dwight Jr.? This looks like your speed. 291 00:13:14,211 --> 00:13:16,129 Uh, I guess I could give it a shot. 292 00:13:16,213 --> 00:13:17,589 Yeah, come on. Get up here. 293 00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,467 Just hop on up. Okay. 294 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:22,678 Focus on the horizon. 295 00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:27,224 Whoa! Look at this guy! 296 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:30,435 (All applauding) 297 00:13:31,228 --> 00:13:33,438 I've always been good at anything that required balance. 298 00:13:33,522 --> 00:13:35,565 My doctor says I have gigantic inner ears. 299 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,944 Go, Dwight Jr.! Andy: That was insane! 300 00:13:39,403 --> 00:13:40,487 Yes! 301 00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:41,697 Boo! Unimpressed! 302 00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:44,116 It's a tightrope for babies! Boo! 303 00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:46,135 All right, let's see you do it. All right. Let me show you 304 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,412 how a real man walks across a flaccid cord. 305 00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:00,966 (Chuckling) Oh! 306 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:03,593 Andy: Who ordered the hot apple fail? 307 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,929 Okay. I am just getting started, okay? 308 00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:09,641 You got this. This is all you. 309 00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:12,769 Oh! (Andy chuckles) 310 00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:14,438 Oh! Oh! 311 00:14:15,272 --> 00:14:16,606 Clark: Got ourselves a yard sale! 312 00:14:18,150 --> 00:14:19,526 Dwight: Ah! (All gasp) 313 00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:21,445 Oh! Oh! 314 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:24,281 Clark: Balls and face! It's not a race, Dwight. 315 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:26,004 (Groans in pain) (Women groan in sympathy) 316 00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:27,993 (All sigh) 317 00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:29,494 (All exclaim) 318 00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:34,082 Well, it's official. Old Dwight is lame and new Dwight is cool. 319 00:14:34,166 --> 00:14:35,375 (Muffled) That's not true. 320 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:36,793 (All gasping) 321 00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:38,980 Just give me another chance. Oscar: But your mouth is... 322 00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:41,506 This is a bloodbath. All right, I'm calling this. 323 00:14:41,798 --> 00:14:44,885 What? It's enough of this. Everyone, let's go back to work. 324 00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:46,571 This is a stupid activity. This is not okay. 325 00:14:46,595 --> 00:14:48,638 I would be embarrassed to be good at it. 326 00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:56,646 Idiots! 327 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,076 Dwight: Slack/ining. Big deal. 328 00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:12,412 Untie that rope, give it to a couple of pigtailed schoolgirls, 329 00:15:12,496 --> 00:15:15,874 let them start jumping with it while chanting a rhyme and giggling about boys. 330 00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:19,669 Doesn't seem so macho now, does it? It's ajump rope! 331 00:15:21,463 --> 00:15:22,631 (Phone beeps) 332 00:15:30,514 --> 00:15:31,890 (Metal clan ks) 333 00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:33,683 Dwight? 334 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:39,231 Pam? Hey, I'm up here. Up the ladder, come on. 335 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:51,868 What are you doing? 336 00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:55,038 Come here, I'll show you. 337 00:15:58,041 --> 00:16:00,085 Why do you want this cat? 338 00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:01,753 Um, I don't want it, really. 339 00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:03,088 How would you support the cat? 340 00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:04,881 What are your ambitions? 341 00:16:05,006 --> 00:16:06,675 I want to start my own business. 342 00:16:06,758 --> 00:16:08,552 I want to be a millionaire, lots of things. 343 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,554 Travel. Make the world a better place. 344 00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:12,889 Earn an mba at night. 345 00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:15,433 Have you taken any concrete steps? 346 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:18,603 Well, I'm still just fitting in here, 347 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,897 mmm-hmm. You know, getting used to the new job. 348 00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:23,024 But definitely on the agenda. 349 00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:27,320 But that is a good idea, Angela. I should make a list. 350 00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:29,406 Oh, come on, Pete! 351 00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,576 That's just sad. 352 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:37,247 If he doesn't watch himself, he's going to be here for years doing nothing. 353 00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:38,582 (Chuckles) 354 00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:45,338 Wow, maybe Pete is the new Jim. 355 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:53,180 Do you see how the trapeze completely surrounds the wire? 356 00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:56,808 That means it is literally impossible for anyone to fall off. 357 00:16:56,892 --> 00:16:59,686 So you will merely sit below and be my counterweight 358 00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:02,856 as I pedal across the parking lot to that telephone pole. 359 00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:04,191 I will? You will. 360 00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:06,154 Yeah, we weigh about the same, wouldn't you say? 361 00:17:06,276 --> 00:17:08,612 Sure, if you weigh 105 pounds. 362 00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:10,488 So you'll do it? No. 363 00:17:10,572 --> 00:17:13,992 Come on, this will be the only thrill of your boring life. 364 00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:18,038 Dwight, you may find this hard to believe, but I love my boring life. 365 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:19,539 Come on! Exactly the way it is. 366 00:17:19,623 --> 00:17:20,665 No, Pam. Yes! 367 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:23,210 And there's nothing you can say that would get me to run 368 00:17:23,293 --> 00:17:25,003 the slightest risk of losing it. 369 00:17:25,086 --> 00:17:26,129 Please? Please, Pam? 370 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:28,673 Find someone else. I don't know, ask Phyllis. 371 00:17:28,965 --> 00:17:30,592 I can't use Phyllis. Are you kidding me? 372 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:33,720 The moment she steps off this bar, I'll be launched into space. 373 00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,680 God! You're so insensitive. 374 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:39,351 (Creaking) 375 00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:43,104 Why are you getting rid of it? Allergies. 376 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,815 Your husband? No, the baby. 377 00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,651 Please, it's my husband's favorite cat. 378 00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:49,277 He's broken up about it. 379 00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:52,113 It's the only time I've seen him cry, other than our wedding night. 380 00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:55,533 You know what? I will take comstock. 381 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,911 Really? Oh, Oscar, thank you. 382 00:17:58,536 --> 00:17:59,746 (Sighs) 383 00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,456 I'll come by after work and pick him up. 384 00:18:01,790 --> 00:18:06,336 Yay! Oh! Poor Robert. He won't get to say goodbye. 385 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,088 He has this business dinner tonight. 386 00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,173 C'est la vie. 387 00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,550 Please don't teach the cat French. 388 00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:18,765 Yeah, good news. Tonight, when you come over for dinner, 389 00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:21,184 you can play with your old buddy, comstock. 390 00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:31,778 You ready? 391 00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:32,862 Yeah. 392 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:34,715 You know what? I'll meet you down there. 393 00:18:34,739 --> 00:18:36,019 I just got to make a quick call. 394 00:18:36,157 --> 00:18:37,534 Okay. 395 00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:46,835 Okay. 396 00:18:47,919 --> 00:18:49,337 All right. 397 00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,133 Oh, god. 398 00:18:53,842 --> 00:18:54,884 (Exhales) 399 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,178 (Exhales) 400 00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,601 (Dialing) 401 00:19:22,579 --> 00:19:25,123 (Dialing) 402 00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:31,880 Attention, employees of dunder Mifflin! 403 00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:37,218 Everyone thinks the new guys are so cool, 'cause they can slackline. 404 00:19:37,552 --> 00:19:38,970 Ooh! 405 00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:41,848 Hey, Clark! This is what a real salesman looks like! 406 00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:47,395 They say that you only live once, and I'm about to prove it! 407 00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:48,813 Dwight schrute! 408 00:19:48,897 --> 00:19:49,939 Pam: Dwight! 409 00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:54,194 Hey, man, it's Halpert. Did you go to the other guy yet? 410 00:19:54,277 --> 00:19:56,321 Great. Don't. I'm in. 411 00:19:57,655 --> 00:19:58,948 (Chuckles) 412 00:19:59,449 --> 00:20:01,409 Yeah. Yep, I'm all in. 413 00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,287 Okay, talk to you soon. Bye. 414 00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:11,503 Yeah! 415 00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,132 (Whoops) 416 00:20:19,803 --> 00:20:21,304 (Screaming) 417 00:20:21,638 --> 00:20:23,473 (All screaming) 418 00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:27,352 Man: Call someone? Kevin: Call somebody! 419 00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:30,563 (People screaming) 420 00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:31,648 Oscar: Hold on, Dwight! 421 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,734 (Screaming) 422 00:20:34,818 --> 00:20:37,570 Creed: In the parking lot today, there was a circus. 423 00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:39,697 A copier did tricks on the high wire. 424 00:20:39,781 --> 00:20:42,826 A lady tried to give away a baby that looked like a cat. 425 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:46,454 There was a Dwight impersonator and a Jim impersonator. 426 00:20:46,538 --> 00:20:48,331 A strongman crushed a turtle. 427 00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:50,834 I laughed and I cried. 428 00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:55,171 Notbad for a day in the life of a dog food company. 429 00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,387 Phyllis: Crap. Sorry, Nellie! 430 00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:05,765 Once again, I understand that old habits die hard, 431 00:21:05,849 --> 00:21:10,520 but if everyone would kindly walk their refuse to the trash bins 432 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:12,939 instead of tossing them, then we wouldn't... 433 00:21:13,523 --> 00:21:14,524 Oh! 434 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:15,608 Swish. 435 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:17,152 It was nothing to do with me. 436 00:21:17,235 --> 00:21:19,696 I just happen to be sitting near to where the bins are. 437 00:21:22,031 --> 00:21:24,701 There are two things that I am passionate about, 438 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:26,035 recycling 439 00:21:26,244 --> 00:21:27,829 and revenge. 440 00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:28,913 (Huffs) 441 00:21:29,205 --> 00:21:30,874 (Clattering) Fluke.