1 00:00:03,212 --> 00:00:05,673 Pam: The building's custodian is on vacation for the month, 2 00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:08,050 and Dwight is too cheap to hire a replacement. 3 00:00:08,134 --> 00:00:10,011 So instead, we 're living in filth. 4 00:00:10,094 --> 00:00:15,057 But not for long, because I have created the chore wheel. 5 00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:17,977 Oh, yeah! Can I spin first? 6 00:00:18,394 --> 00:00:19,520 Well, it doesn't spin. 7 00:00:19,604 --> 00:00:22,356 We'll just move the wheel one notch each morning, 8 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,775 and you see what chore you get that day. 9 00:00:24,901 --> 00:00:27,028 A wheel is supposedtosphm yeah. 10 00:00:27,195 --> 00:00:28,613 You know, like... 11 00:00:29,947 --> 00:00:31,091 No, I'm familiar with spinning. 12 00:00:31,115 --> 00:00:32,801 It's just, that wouldn't work with a chore wheel, 13 00:00:32,825 --> 00:00:34,577 because people might get the same chore. 14 00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:37,955 Bah! Boring. All she talks about is chores. 15 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,290 A wheel wants to spin, Pam. 16 00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:43,461 Spinning would be more fun. 17 00:00:47,298 --> 00:00:48,299 Okay. 18 00:00:48,633 --> 00:00:51,886 Okay! That's what I'm talking about. 19 00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:54,722 Big money, big money. 20 00:00:55,848 --> 00:00:56,849 Man: Yeah! 21 00:00:57,642 --> 00:00:58,893 "Mug duty"? 22 00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:01,020 Yes! You clean all the mugs in the sink. 23 00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:03,022 This sucks. 24 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:06,275 Yeah, seriously. It's like everything on there is work. 25 00:01:06,359 --> 00:01:09,153 I don't think you guys understand why we're doing this. It's... 26 00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:12,531 Yeah, and I don't think that you understand wheels. 27 00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:17,328 I've been through several rounds of development with the team, 28 00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,830 and here's where we stand with the chore wheel. 29 00:01:21,540 --> 00:01:22,583 We've got prizes! 30 00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:26,254 "Ten bucks," "candy bar," "manager for an hour." 31 00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:28,339 Pam: But there are also penalties 32 00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:31,592 like "no Internet," "Stanley gets your lunch." 33 00:01:31,676 --> 00:01:34,595 The one thing that is not on the chore wheel is chores. 34 00:01:34,804 --> 00:01:37,223 But they were right, it's more fun this way. 35 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:47,275 All: Tiny wheel! Tiny wheel! Tiny wheel! Tiny wheel! 36 00:01:47,483 --> 00:01:49,819 The tiny wheel actually does have chores. 37 00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,904 It's so cute, no one seems to mind. 38 00:01:52,363 --> 00:01:53,447 "Toi lets!" 39 00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:24,020 Pam, we've got to go! Cece, go back inside. 40 00:02:24,228 --> 00:02:25,938 Grandma's got breakfast, okay? 41 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:29,984 We are going to Roy's wedding. 42 00:02:30,735 --> 00:02:31,777 Yep, Roy. 43 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:34,572 I think the only weird thing about going to your wife's 44 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,949 ex-fiancé's wedding on a weekday at 8:00 am. 45 00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:40,494 Is that it's your wife's ex-fiancé. Thanks, mom! 46 00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,664 Yeah. A banana? 47 00:02:43,748 --> 00:02:45,392 I'm afraid he's only going to have hot dogs. 48 00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:47,835 Come on. Not even Roy would have hot dogs at his wedding. 49 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:50,254 I planned a wedding with him. He wanted hot dogs. 50 00:02:52,965 --> 00:02:53,966 It's so weird. 51 00:02:56,344 --> 00:02:57,803 Oh, Pete. You got mail. 52 00:02:57,887 --> 00:02:59,180 Really? I got something? 53 00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:01,891 Well, it's addressed to customer service, so it's your mail. 54 00:03:01,974 --> 00:03:03,893 Well, you know, I'm also customer service. 55 00:03:03,976 --> 00:03:04,977 Yeah, I'm alternating. 56 00:03:05,144 --> 00:03:06,228 Yay. 57 00:03:06,312 --> 00:03:07,730 Another person yelling at me. 58 00:03:07,813 --> 00:03:09,523 Well, it could be a nice letter. 59 00:03:09,607 --> 00:03:11,484 I write nice letters to companies all the time. 60 00:03:11,567 --> 00:03:13,277 That's really nice. 61 00:03:13,569 --> 00:03:18,741 Wow. Newsweek, huh? This election thing is crazy, right? 62 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:20,534 Pete: It's opened. 63 00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:24,663 Oh, yeah. I accidentally read it. It's not a nice letter. 64 00:03:30,336 --> 00:03:31,754 Get excited! 65 00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:34,965 The special projects fairy has arrived. 66 00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:37,134 I know you don't really exist. 67 00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:41,222 Today, I launch my big charity initiative, operation giveback. 68 00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:45,309 Andy has shot down all of my special projects thus far, 69 00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:49,980 but this one is about charity, so I'd like to see him piss on that one. 70 00:03:53,984 --> 00:03:55,027 Darryl! 71 00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:58,489 What's happening? Congratulations, baby. 72 00:03:58,572 --> 00:03:59,657 Yeah. Oh, thank you. 73 00:04:02,993 --> 00:04:04,662 Is this his house? I think so. 74 00:04:05,121 --> 00:04:06,122 Mimosa? 75 00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,457 Pniokay. Thank you. 76 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,085 Would you like me to take your peel? 77 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:13,754 Yes. Thank you. 78 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:22,847 Okay. 79 00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:26,600 Who was that? 80 00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:29,979 My ex-fiancée. Ha-ha. 81 00:04:30,604 --> 00:04:32,940 I started a new business with my college friend, 82 00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:34,483 but Pam doesn't know. 83 00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:39,697 Actually I did tell Pam and we decided, "no." 84 00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:42,825 But then I decided, "yes," anyway, 85 00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:45,870 so I'm thinking there's another conversation coming, 86 00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:48,164 and it's hard to know when that will be. 87 00:04:48,289 --> 00:04:53,127 With operation giveback, you pick the charities dunder Mifflin supports. 88 00:04:53,377 --> 00:04:56,046 Oh, boy! What's happening? 89 00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:59,800 There's $4,000 to give away, so who has filled out their forms? 90 00:05:00,301 --> 00:05:01,385 Stanley? 91 00:05:01,469 --> 00:05:03,220 American diabetes association. 92 00:05:03,429 --> 00:05:05,973 Um, you have diabetes, Stanley. 93 00:05:06,056 --> 00:05:09,310 I'm sorry. Is the assignment to pick a selfish charity? 94 00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:11,770 I... I would love to give... 95 00:05:11,854 --> 00:05:12,980 Heifers international. 96 00:05:13,564 --> 00:05:17,234 Listen to this. They give a poor person, like, a goat or something? 97 00:05:17,735 --> 00:05:18,944 It's a great prank. 98 00:05:19,278 --> 00:05:22,239 I want to work with Jimmy Carter and help build gnomes. 99 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,741 Dwight? What about you? 100 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:27,411 I will not be participating, as there is no evidence that charity works. 101 00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:30,164 Uh, correction, I give to a foundation that teaches 102 00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:34,084 homeless children nautical flag signaling. It changes lives. 103 00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:35,669 Thank you, Andy. 104 00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:36,754 I'm not doing it for you. 105 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,381 I'm doing it for the preservation of nautical flag signaling. 106 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:41,717 Dwight, you will be participating. 107 00:05:42,051 --> 00:05:44,470 No, thank you. Participation is mandatory, Dwight. 108 00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:46,472 But you can choose whatever cause you like. 109 00:05:47,932 --> 00:05:50,976 Fine! I choose the global relief foundation... 110 00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,687 Great. Thank you... which was recently discovered 111 00:05:53,771 --> 00:05:55,606 to be a front for the Taliban. 112 00:05:56,315 --> 00:05:58,025 Oh, for goodness sake, Dwight! 113 00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,653 Yeah, the Taliban in af-a-ghanistan! 114 00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:03,364 The Taliban is the worst. 115 00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,325 Great heroin, though. 116 00:06:06,408 --> 00:06:10,704 Dwight, I cannot have the Taliban on the roster of operation giveback. 117 00:06:10,788 --> 00:06:13,268 Well, then it looks like there won't be any operation giveback. 118 00:06:14,416 --> 00:06:17,628 The nanny state is over, ladies and gentlemen! You're welcome. 119 00:06:21,966 --> 00:06:22,967 There he is. 120 00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,761 Is it almost time to cut the pancake or what? 121 00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:29,139 Oh, yeah, we appreciate everyone coming out so early. It's... 122 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,016 Everyone's just been so nice. 123 00:06:31,100 --> 00:06:32,661 Thanks for inviting us, by the way. That was... 124 00:06:32,685 --> 00:06:33,995 Are you kidding? That was a surprise. 125 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:37,106 Come on, if it wasn't for you, I never would have met Lara. 126 00:06:37,189 --> 00:06:39,429 I mean, seriously, I kind of dodged a bullet on that one. 127 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:40,859 I'm just kidding. You're welcome. 128 00:06:40,943 --> 00:06:41,944 Thanks. 129 00:06:43,654 --> 00:06:46,323 By the way, man, this place is beautiful. 130 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:49,451 I started a gravel company. I mean, who knew it would take off? 131 00:06:49,827 --> 00:06:50,911 Gravel company. 132 00:06:50,995 --> 00:06:52,472 Yeah. What about you? What are you doing? 133 00:06:52,496 --> 00:06:54,790 Not gravel, obviously. 134 00:06:55,124 --> 00:06:56,434 No, things are good. Things are good. 135 00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:57,876 Got some stuff in the works, so... 136 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,753 Oh, cool. Yeah, you never know. 137 00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:02,673 Hey, bro. Stop wasting time with this haircut. 138 00:07:03,007 --> 00:07:05,426 He's got a $50,000 sports car. 139 00:07:05,509 --> 00:07:07,052 Cheers! Yeah, okay, Ken. 140 00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,430 Duncan, listen! I would love to help you out, 141 00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:10,699 but where am I going to find somebody 142 00:07:10,723 --> 00:07:13,100 that is pretty, smart and well-informed, huh? 143 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:17,104 Hold on, hold on! Erin, do you know anybody that might... 144 00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:21,650 Oh, my gosh. 145 00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,528 You love the news, right? 146 00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:26,238 Well, it depends. 147 00:07:26,322 --> 00:07:29,450 I mean, sometimes I find out things that are really sad. 148 00:07:29,533 --> 00:07:32,369 Well, I've got a buddy that's a big-time local news producer. 149 00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:35,080 I can't tell you his name, but it'd blow your mind. 150 00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,041 Uh, is it Duncan? 151 00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:38,364 He's looking for on-air talent, 152 00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,377 and he'd kill me if I didn't get you on tape. 153 00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:42,129 You mean, put me on the news? 154 00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,798 You'll just come over, put on a little lipstick, loosen up 155 00:07:44,882 --> 00:07:46,467 with a glass of red wine and then 156 00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:48,093 we'll just run through a few stories. 157 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:50,989 You know, a couple of different ways in a couple of different outfits. 158 00:07:51,013 --> 00:07:54,183 It'd be really tasteful and it'd really help out with... 159 00:07:54,266 --> 00:07:55,309 With my friend. 160 00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:58,354 Clark: What do you say? Huh? 161 00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:01,023 Well, maybe, okay? Let me think about it. Clark: Okay. 162 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:03,692 Think it over. 163 00:08:06,862 --> 00:08:08,197 No, Clark's not my friend. 164 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,824 He is the douche that sits next to me at the office. 165 00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:14,703 My friends are Scott, Glen and Rob, but you don't know them. 166 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:18,957 I never really thought much about being more than a receptionist, but why? 167 00:08:19,375 --> 00:08:22,628 Because I happened to answer a help wanted ad to be a receptionist? 168 00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:27,925 I mean, what if the ad had been for a ceo or for a brain surgeon? 169 00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:31,845 So, uh, it was a year ago today that I met Lara. 170 00:08:32,596 --> 00:08:34,264 I thought she was my waitress, 171 00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:36,809 and, uh, it took her three weeks to tell me 172 00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:38,212 that she actually owned the place. 173 00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:40,104 You are full of surprises. 174 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,773 You are my beautiful mystery girl. 175 00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:45,693 And today, I have a surprise for you. 176 00:08:48,362 --> 00:08:49,863 He plays the piano? 177 00:08:49,947 --> 00:08:52,616 No. Roy? No. 178 00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:55,119 You know how I said I was taking boxing lessons? 179 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:56,954 Actually I was doing this. 180 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,373 Um, so, I hope that you like it. 181 00:09:02,126 --> 00:09:03,794 You got this, Roy! 182 00:09:07,798 --> 00:09:11,385 She's got a way about her 183 00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,848 [don't know what it is 184 00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:19,893 but I know that I can't live without her 185 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,312 she's got a way 186 00:09:24,481 --> 00:09:26,483 we still surprise each other. 187 00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:27,651 Definitely. 188 00:09:29,653 --> 00:09:32,239 You know, I never did it, but for your 30th birthday, 189 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,158 I really wanted to surprise you with... 190 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:35,993 Court-side seats. Sixers. 191 00:09:36,452 --> 00:09:40,330 Yes. Butwhat I didn't tell you was that I actually bought the tickets. 192 00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:41,915 We only didn't go because... 193 00:09:41,999 --> 00:09:43,250 It was an away game. 194 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,836 In Phoenix. They should really tell you that more specifically. 195 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,839 I mean, every game is an away game for one of the teams. 196 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:54,762 Do we know everything about each other? 197 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:59,933 Tell me one thing about you I don't know. 198 00:10:00,851 --> 00:10:01,935 Uh... um... 199 00:10:02,019 --> 00:10:03,145 Okay. 200 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:10,128 Here's one. Did I ever tell you about the time 201 00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:12,696 that my brothers videotaped the lottery announcement 202 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:14,740 and bought the winning numbers the next day, 203 00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:16,992 and then played the tape for me the next week... 204 00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:18,511 And you thought you guys were millionaires. 205 00:10:18,535 --> 00:10:20,204 You heard that one. Yes. 206 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,413 But there's... wait! 207 00:10:21,497 --> 00:10:24,249 Oh, there's a funny ending to that story, I can't remember. 208 00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:25,733 That I thought we were millionaires. 209 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:27,187 That you thought you were millionaires. 210 00:10:27,211 --> 00:10:28,295 Yeah. That's funny. 211 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,088 Shoot! I knew that one. That's all right. 212 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,549 The senator and I still have mystery. 213 00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:35,969 I'm always waiting to see what he's going to surprise me with next. 214 00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:45,562 Jim: You all right? 215 00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,651 You support the Taliban abroad, 216 00:10:50,734 --> 00:10:53,237 so I assume you're willing to live by their rules here. 217 00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,615 Anything else would be inconsistent. 218 00:10:56,698 --> 00:11:02,412 Will you join me then in a pledge to live by Taliban law in this office? 219 00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,292 Absolutely, I will. 220 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:15,634 I feared Nellie had some sort of a plan. 221 00:11:15,717 --> 00:11:17,511 But she used a ridiculous font. 222 00:11:19,137 --> 00:11:21,098 You don't have a plan. 223 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,643 When you use a ridiculous font, no one thinks you have a plan. 224 00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:28,939 Looking for this? 225 00:11:29,815 --> 00:11:30,899 What the... 226 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:37,281 Oh, this is a lovely pen. And it's mine now because I stole it. 227 00:11:37,781 --> 00:11:38,824 Give me that! 228 00:11:38,907 --> 00:11:39,908 Didn't we sign a contract 229 00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:41,743 to live under Taliban law? 230 00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:43,662 Now there's been a theft. 231 00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:48,417 That means you're not serious or someone's getting their hand cutoff. 232 00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,210 You're insane. 233 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:53,046 I know, so it's better that you pick another charity. 234 00:11:53,255 --> 00:11:56,925 Oh, and let your precious operation powergrab proceed unchecked? 235 00:11:57,009 --> 00:11:58,051 No, thank you. 236 00:11:58,135 --> 00:11:59,803 Inthatcase, you 237 00:12:02,514 --> 00:12:04,725 will have to chop off my hand. 238 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,899 This cleaver appears to need sharpening. 239 00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:15,485 I suggest you spend some quality time together, just you and your hand. 240 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:17,112 Tie a shoe. Toss a salad. 241 00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,073 Do any of the two-hand activities that you'll miss the most. 242 00:12:20,157 --> 00:12:23,243 I tell you what, I need to make three calls, 243 00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:29,207 and then after that you can become a person who chops off people's hands. 244 00:12:29,333 --> 00:12:30,792 Sounds like a plan. 245 00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:35,881 Clark wants to film you in different outfits inside his apartment? 246 00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:36,965 Yeah. 247 00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:40,469 Clark! You and I need to have a little chat. 248 00:12:41,970 --> 00:12:44,431 What clothes does Erin need for this news audition? 249 00:12:49,353 --> 00:12:52,731 A couple of button-downs, a camisole, a blazer, 250 00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:55,525 a pencil skirt, stilettos, maybe... 251 00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:57,903 No, not maybe, definitely open-toed. 252 00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:02,240 Uh, something low-cut because the camera makes everything seem higher cut. 253 00:13:02,324 --> 00:13:04,159 Really? Yeah. Industry secret. 254 00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:07,329 You're going to want some of those pantyhose with the seam up the back. 255 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,848 Seems unnecessary for an audition. 256 00:13:08,872 --> 00:13:11,625 And then, you know, maybejust a robe to wear in between takes, 257 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,419 but I probably got one that she could borrow at my place, so... 258 00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:17,005 Thank god someone here knows what they're talking about. 259 00:13:17,089 --> 00:13:18,548 I want you to take this credit card, 260 00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:20,968 take Erin to the mall and get that stuff. 261 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,303 I absolutely will do that. 262 00:13:23,387 --> 00:13:25,555 Awesome. Plop! 263 00:13:28,892 --> 00:13:31,895 Guess I'll just head over to the mall, then. 264 00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:35,524 Buy Erin some sexy fun outfits. 265 00:13:36,191 --> 00:13:38,068 That Clark, huh? 266 00:13:40,404 --> 00:13:42,239 Next question for our oldy-weds? 267 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:44,491 What's the craziest place you ever made whoopee? 268 00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:45,574 Language! 269 00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,077 Who was Pam's first celebrity crush? 270 00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,286 That's good. Okay. 271 00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:52,624 Pam's first celebrity crush. John stamos. 272 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:53,917 Ready? Uh-huh. 273 00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:55,127 John stamos. 274 00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:56,294 Yes! Oh. 275 00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:57,480 But John stamos was temporary. 276 00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,824 I quickly moved on to Johnny Depp. 277 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,507 Johnny Depp. 278 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:09,558 Sorry, I was having a separate conversation with Kevin. 279 00:14:12,102 --> 00:14:13,603 Johnny Depp. Totally. 280 00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:15,939 George Clooney. 281 00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:18,025 Okay, I have one. I have one. 282 00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:20,128 What is your warning... Kevin: What is the craziest place 283 00:14:20,152 --> 00:14:21,695 you ever made whoopee? 284 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,947 Kevin, stop it with that question. 285 00:14:24,156 --> 00:14:27,659 Right? And did you show them the market? Yeah? 286 00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:30,037 And what did they say? 287 00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:33,165 That's awesome! 288 00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:35,667 That... oh, my god! Wow! 289 00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:37,502 It's not even real yet. 290 00:14:37,586 --> 00:14:40,255 And I'm not going to tell her until it's real. 291 00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:45,093 I think maybe there actually is something I don't know about Jim. 292 00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:53,435 Everyone, we have a voluntary meeting in the conference room 293 00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:55,812 to discuss Erin's confidence. 294 00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,656 Her body. We're going to talk about her body. 295 00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:58,774 Good. Greatjob. 296 00:14:58,982 --> 00:15:02,069 Andy made me his consigliere, which means assistant regional manager. 297 00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:05,572 I guess he thought I would be into the godfather because I'm black. 298 00:15:07,199 --> 00:15:08,200 Wrong. 299 00:15:08,700 --> 00:15:11,036 I'm into the godfather because I'm a cinephile. 300 00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:13,538 I like scarface because I'm black. 301 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:17,167 Erin has an audition to be a newscaster. 302 00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:19,252 Whoo! Andy: Yeah! 303 00:15:19,336 --> 00:15:21,254 Uh-huh. 304 00:15:21,505 --> 00:15:26,134 And I want her to feel very comfortable in her very sexy skin. 305 00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:29,805 So, everybody say something that you like about her body. All right? 306 00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:30,931 Darryl? 307 00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:35,018 Okay. Um, I like Erin's hair. It's a very pretty color. 308 00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:36,353 Yeah, right? 309 00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:38,438 I'm sorry, this is for a news audition? 310 00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:39,523 Yeah. 311 00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:41,942 Then why are we talking about her looks? 312 00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:44,694 Why not her credibility or her reliability? 313 00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:47,531 Newsflash, everyone, the human race 314 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:49,407 finds attractive people more trustworthy. 315 00:15:49,533 --> 00:15:52,619 So sorry, Andy, but for 20 years, the most trusted man in america? 316 00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:53,745 Walter cronkite. 317 00:15:53,829 --> 00:15:54,830 Cronkite was hot! 318 00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:57,374 If I could go back in time, I'd take that moustache ride. 319 00:15:57,457 --> 00:15:59,292 Oscar: Does Erin have any experience? 320 00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:01,419 Has she taken any journalism classes maybe? 321 00:16:01,503 --> 00:16:02,921 Has she done the pageant circuit? 322 00:16:03,338 --> 00:16:04,464 No, I watch the news. 323 00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:06,466 She's going to be amazing. Look at her. 324 00:16:06,550 --> 00:16:07,910 She's going to light up the screen! 325 00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:09,128 Erin: This is a first for me. 326 00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:10,679 And I don't get a lot of chances, 327 00:16:10,762 --> 00:16:12,556 so I have to take them really seriously. 328 00:16:13,223 --> 00:16:15,183 I will do whatever it takes to get the job. 329 00:16:16,393 --> 00:16:18,228 Whatever it takes. Yeah, I know. I heard. 330 00:16:23,275 --> 00:16:24,276 This is it. 331 00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:27,821 Any questions? Is it going to be long? 332 00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:31,241 No, it's going to be over before you know it. Mmm-hmm. 333 00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:36,580 Afghan president Hamid karzai 334 00:16:36,663 --> 00:16:39,749 declared a new policy of "dollar days" throughout the country, 335 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:45,338 promising low, low prices on all 2012 kia sentras and sonatas. 336 00:16:45,797 --> 00:16:48,216 "Aren't you glad you waited?" Karzai commented. 337 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,343 Um, where did you get that story? 338 00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,346 A little bit here, a little bit there. 339 00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:55,765 I bet you didn't think I knew current events. 340 00:16:56,099 --> 00:16:59,186 I love it. It's fantastic. Now tag it with your name. 341 00:17:01,146 --> 00:17:03,023 For channel eleven news, I'm Erin hannon. 342 00:17:03,106 --> 00:17:04,232 Pause after "news." 343 00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:08,236 For channel eleven news, I'm Erin hannon. 344 00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:09,529 No, pauselongen 345 00:17:09,613 --> 00:17:10,739 that was a good one. 346 00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:14,659 Pause... pause longer, okay? It builds suspense. Don't be shy. 347 00:17:14,743 --> 00:17:16,077 Got it. 348 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:19,456 For channel eleven news... 349 00:17:28,340 --> 00:17:31,092 It's... okay, all right. I'm Erin hannon. 350 00:17:31,635 --> 00:17:32,844 Great. 351 00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:34,971 Some great stuff in there. 352 00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,016 I can feel you looking at me. 353 00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:40,393 Okay. Well, here's something you don't know. 354 00:17:42,812 --> 00:17:44,856 A couple of weeks ago... Mmm-hmm. 355 00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:46,650 I ran into this guy from my high school 356 00:17:46,942 --> 00:17:48,777 who has just gotten divorced, 357 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,112 and he hit on me in the mall. 358 00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:53,406 And I didn't tell you because, 359 00:17:53,698 --> 00:17:55,533 I don't know, I felt embarrassed, 360 00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,953 and I didn't know if you'd be mad, or worried. 361 00:17:58,036 --> 00:18:00,664 But anyway, I thought you'd want to know. 362 00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:03,416 That didn't happen. 363 00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:05,585 You would have told me right away. 364 00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:07,254 Yeah, I would have. 365 00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:10,465 What about you? Come on, there's got to be something. 366 00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:13,843 Between your birth and the last two days, 367 00:18:13,969 --> 00:18:16,054 something you just haven't had the chance to tell me. 368 00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:21,685 Just tell me. 369 00:18:24,187 --> 00:18:26,773 God, give it up, beesly. You know me too well. 370 00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:46,668 Hey. Erin: Hey. 371 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:50,588 Um, I knew something bothered me, and I finally figured it out. 372 00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:53,192 What news producers are going to want to see is how Erin relates 373 00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:55,176 to the other people on the news team. Oh. 374 00:18:55,260 --> 00:18:58,596 The weird thing is that Erin is doing the audition alone. 375 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:02,100 Oh, god. Now, I'd say Clark could be your co-host, 376 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,227 but he's already doing camera. 377 00:19:04,311 --> 00:19:07,230 Somebody who's already got rapport with Erin maybe? 378 00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:08,815 I don't know. 379 00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:13,236 This is for real this time. 380 00:19:14,738 --> 00:19:18,658 It's getting late. I thought you guys could use a little inspiration. 381 00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:23,121 Oh, a movie. What is this? 382 00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:25,290 127 hours. It's about this guy who goes... 383 00:19:25,415 --> 00:19:27,560 No, no, no! No spoilers, please. 384 00:19:27,584 --> 00:19:29,085 My bad. You're right. 385 00:19:29,252 --> 00:19:30,879 Okay. Good night. 386 00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:36,968 Hey! All: Hey! 387 00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:38,470 Everybody. Yeah. 388 00:19:40,055 --> 00:19:41,890 Come in. Come on in. All right. 389 00:19:42,265 --> 00:19:43,266 Nice. 390 00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:45,310 What are you doing here? 391 00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:48,188 Oh, sorry, man. Andy thought Erin needed a co-anchor. 392 00:19:48,813 --> 00:19:51,066 I'm his makeup guy. My hands are tied. 393 00:19:52,275 --> 00:19:56,237 The victim was released from the hospital with second degree burns. 394 00:19:56,404 --> 00:19:57,405 Wow. 395 00:19:57,614 --> 00:19:59,854 You know what they say, Erin, if you can't take the heat, 396 00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:01,451 get out of the kitchen. 397 00:20:03,078 --> 00:20:05,038 Well, he tried to, but the fire door was blocked. 398 00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:06,164 He sure did. 399 00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:07,374 All right, we got that. 400 00:20:07,457 --> 00:20:08,750 That's a wrap, everybody. 401 00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:10,033 I just... you sure, Clark? Oh. 402 00:20:10,085 --> 00:20:11,211 Yup, she's done. 403 00:20:11,461 --> 00:20:13,963 No, I just... I don't mean Erin. I mean for me. 404 00:20:14,089 --> 00:20:15,965 I didn't feel good about that. 405 00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:18,051 No, no. We got it. We got it. 406 00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:20,553 Great. Let's get some food. I'm starving. 407 00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:24,182 I don't think we did get it. I could do a couple more takes. 408 00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:28,269 We could do it in a close-up. That might even be better for editing. 409 00:20:28,812 --> 00:20:30,313 Okay, I don't. 410 00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:32,107 All right. 411 00:20:32,190 --> 00:20:33,566 I'm hungry. 412 00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:37,362 Pete, you want to take Erin to get a burger or something? 413 00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:39,406 Yeah, whatever you say, boss. Andy: Okay. 414 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:40,800 I'll call you later. Erin: Okay. 415 00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:42,992 Okay. So this is a single. 416 00:20:44,327 --> 00:20:48,248 Hey, even if this doesn't work out for me, I'm just glad I had the guts to do it. 417 00:20:48,623 --> 00:20:50,834 Erin: And maybe it will work out for Andy. 418 00:20:57,424 --> 00:21:00,635 Oh, god! Yeah. That is absolutely revolting! 419 00:21:00,718 --> 00:21:03,096 He is so good, though. Yes. 420 00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:05,140 The way he just cuts off his arm. 421 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:07,201 If you like James Franco, we really should watch 422 00:21:07,225 --> 00:21:08,518 rise of the planet of the apes. 423 00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,353 Well, he's a genius, you know? 424 00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:14,441 He was in graduate programs at Yale, Columbia, and nyu all at the same time. 425 00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,443 Whoop-de-do. That doesn't make you a genius. 426 00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:18,194 Well, it doesn't make you stupid. 427 00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:20,572 Vveh, yeah, it does actually. It makes you real stupid. 428 00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,365 Stupid like you. No, like you! 429 00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:23,950 Like you! You're the stupid one. 430 00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:25,511 You're the stupid one. You're the stupid one. 431 00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:27,579 You. You. You. You. You. You. You're the stupid one.