1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:03,671
All right, everybody,
great season of softball.

2
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:05,131
I'm super proud of you guys,

3
00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:07,049
and I think you're
going to like this

4
00:00:07,133 --> 00:00:08,926
little highlight reel
that I've put together.

5
00:00:09,719 --> 00:00:11,304
G rou p: Dunder Mifflin!

6
00:00:11,637 --> 00:00:12,930
An dy: Andy Bernard presents,

7
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:15,266
"summer softball epic fails!"

8
00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:17,435
Andy: Fail.

9
00:00:19,061 --> 00:00:20,229
Andy: Fail! That's me!

10
00:00:21,439 --> 00:00:22,940
Fail. Is this like
a blooper reel?

11
00:00:23,107 --> 00:00:25,568
A blooper reel?
What is this, 2005?

12
00:00:25,943 --> 00:00:28,237
Do I look like Bob saget? Fail!

13
00:00:30,072 --> 00:00:31,073
Who's this guy?

14
00:00:31,949 --> 00:00:33,534
J“ meow, meow, meow, meow.

15
00:00:33,826 --> 00:00:35,203
Look at him dance!

16
00:00:35,286 --> 00:00:36,871
Fail! Fail.

17
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:38,581
I deserved that.

18
00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:40,041
Do-Dee-do-Dee-do

19
00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,376
that was a triple.

20
00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:45,254
Can't take the fail?
Get out of the fail video!

21
00:00:45,338 --> 00:00:46,380
My pleasure.

22
00:00:46,464 --> 00:00:50,301
Andy: Hi,
I'm Pete! Puberty is such a drag, man.

23
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:54,722
And I'm Clark, I like to
eat toilet paper. We fail!

24
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,694
I'd like to take a solemn
moment to remember

25
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,228
Jerry in the warehouse,

26
00:01:00,603 --> 00:01:02,355
who passed away this year.

27
00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:08,110
Well, that's all, folks!

28
00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:12,990
Ski you later, everybody! Thanks for a
great season.

29
00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:16,494
What was that? That was just normal
video with you making vulgar noises.

30
00:01:16,786 --> 00:01:18,412
Well, I worked with
what I had, Oscar.

31
00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:21,874
Next time do more
fail-ier stuff, okay?

32
00:01:22,458 --> 00:01:24,043
What happened to
that video I sent you?

33
00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:27,463
Oh, that wasn't... that didn't
work. That was not the right...

34
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,548
All: I
think I've got it right here.

35
00:01:38,266 --> 00:01:39,642
All: Oh!

36
00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:44,438
That was not a tail!

37
00:01:44,522 --> 00:01:45,540
All: Fail! Fail! Fail!

38
00:01:45,564 --> 00:01:46,708
That was actually
a serious accident

39
00:01:46,732 --> 00:01:48,572
that could have resulted
in severe bodily harm.

40
00:01:48,734 --> 00:01:50,379
All: Fail! Fail! Fail!
You're all failing right now.

41
00:01:50,403 --> 00:01:54,198
Congratulations on your epic
tail of the use of the word "fail!"

42
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:07,211
Oh, god.

43
00:02:09,714 --> 00:02:10,756
What's going on?

44
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,091
Nothing! Nothing is going on.

45
00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:13,902
Keep moving, please.
What's he measuring?

46
00:02:13,926 --> 00:02:16,387
Okay, excuse me,
I am the landlord.

47
00:02:16,554 --> 00:02:18,931
This is between me and the
management, no one else. Please.

48
00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:21,976
It's an emf hotspot. Oh, my god!

49
00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:23,578
It stands for
electromagnetic field,

50
00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:25,271
generally caused
by a concentration

51
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,897
of wiring in one area,

52
00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:30,109
especially if
poorly insulated, Dwight.

53
00:02:31,736 --> 00:02:33,738
Okay, I'm just
walking in to this.

54
00:02:33,946 --> 00:02:36,741
Am I to understand there's
a beehive in the wall?

55
00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,535
You think I have a machine
for measuring beehives?

56
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:41,412
I was just asking
a question, Toby.

57
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:42,895
How are you not
murdered every hour?

58
00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:46,334
Well, I'm not getting paid
to work in a microwave oven.

59
00:02:46,625 --> 00:02:49,628
Okay, listen.
Everything here is up to code.

60
00:02:50,004 --> 00:02:52,214
"Oh, the wires need insulation."

61
00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:55,593
It's a wire, people.
I'm not buying it a fur coat.

62
00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:02,099
Thank you. Yougotw

63
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:06,270
Jim: Last week, I finally told Pam
about the other job I took in Philly,

64
00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:10,691
the side job, and she was
so incredibly cool about it.

65
00:03:11,317 --> 00:03:13,944
And now I just want to do
something huge for her.

66
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,114
Like if we were
in some biker bar

67
00:03:17,198 --> 00:03:19,033
and she mouthed
off to some bikers

68
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:21,869
and they came lumbering over
and I was like... wham!

69
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,954
"You've got to go
through me first!"

70
00:03:33,172 --> 00:03:34,492
Andy, could I have
a word, please?

71
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,884
It won't take a moment,
it's extremely important,

72
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:39,261
and it really has to happen now.

73
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,806
Fine. I will
give you one minute.

74
00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:43,474
Oh, please don't
use the hourglass.

75
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,684
You have one minute
and your minute has begun,

76
00:03:45,768 --> 00:03:47,770
and no time will
be added at the end,

77
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,647
even to accommodate
this sentence,

78
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:52,441
with all of its
baroque dependent clauses

79
00:03:52,525 --> 00:03:56,153
and cascading turns of phrase.

80
00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:58,572
I'm trying to adopt a baby.

81
00:03:58,656 --> 00:03:59,824
A baby what?

82
00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:01,033
A human?

83
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:05,663
And the agency requires a
character reference from my employer.

84
00:04:07,248 --> 00:04:09,476
You wouldn't have to do
anything. I'd write the letter myself.

85
00:04:09,500 --> 00:04:10,960
You'd just simply sign it. So...

86
00:04:11,669 --> 00:04:12,670
Okay.

87
00:04:12,795 --> 00:04:16,799
And fall right into your
plagiarism entrapment scheme?

88
00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,843
I don't think so.
It's... no, it's...

89
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:21,679
And I happen to notice you're
down to about 30 seconds here.

90
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:22,906
If I could just
convince you that you...

91
00:04:22,930 --> 00:04:24,056
And those sand grains are

92
00:04:24,140 --> 00:04:25,975
tumbling with
fury down the side...

93
00:04:26,058 --> 00:04:27,226
It's not entrapment

94
00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:28,811
if I'm writing...
Of the hourglass.

95
00:04:28,894 --> 00:04:30,729
Time's up! Fine.

96
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:33,691
Sure, I'll read her letter.

97
00:04:33,816 --> 00:04:36,986
And if she tells the truth
about how evil and unfit

98
00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:39,738
to be a mother she is,
then, yeah, I'll sign that.

99
00:04:40,573 --> 00:04:43,200
"Statistical correlations
exist between emf

100
00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:45,661
"radiation and
various health hazards,

101
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:49,415
"but mainstream
studies are inconclusive."

102
00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:52,042
That means you
can't make me do squat.

103
00:04:52,376 --> 00:04:53,377
You better fix this!

104
00:04:53,461 --> 00:04:56,589
I already ditched my uterus, and
I ain't losing any more good parts!

105
00:04:56,672 --> 00:04:58,150
You people don't
realize what you're asking.

106
00:04:58,174 --> 00:04:59,842
I'd have to rip open the walls.

107
00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:02,094
We'd have to shut this
place down for a week.

108
00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:05,264
A week off, that'd be great.

109
00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:19,320
Hey, if you don't want to teach
me the powerpoint, just say so.

110
00:05:19,403 --> 00:05:20,547
I don't want to
teach you powerpoint.

111
00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:21,572
Come on.

112
00:05:21,739 --> 00:05:23,115
Just show me the powerpoint.

113
00:05:23,199 --> 00:05:24,199
Just do the tutorial!

114
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,284
You're the tutorial.

115
00:05:25,451 --> 00:05:27,703
No, dude, I'm not.
I'm not the tutorial.

116
00:05:27,912 --> 00:05:29,371
You could be. Mmm-mmm.

117
00:05:31,916 --> 00:05:33,501
What are you doing?

118
00:05:33,584 --> 00:05:35,169
Getting my wife
a week off from work.

119
00:05:35,586 --> 00:05:36,754
You popped one kernel.

120
00:05:37,338 --> 00:05:38,714
Awesome, right?

121
00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:43,719
So creed is that dude's stepdad?

122
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:45,346
Correct.

123
00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:49,934
Well, I don't know about the rest
of you, but I'm just going to say it.

124
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,603
I'm nervous. I have no idea what

125
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,438
health problems this
is all going to cause.

126
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,899
What? Come on.

127
00:05:57,316 --> 00:05:59,026
I'm sorry.
I'm not growing a third arm.

128
00:05:59,235 --> 00:06:00,819
I know what Jim is trying to do.

129
00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:02,279
He's trying to
get big bad Dwight

130
00:06:02,363 --> 00:06:03,822
to shell out for
a huge repairjob

131
00:06:03,948 --> 00:06:06,075
while lucky jimbo
gets a paid vacation.

132
00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:07,868
Well, sorry, lucky jimbo.

133
00:06:07,952 --> 00:06:10,204
I can live very
happily in a magnetic field.

134
00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:12,915
Most of my childhood heroes
got their powers that way.

135
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,377
"Side effects of emf
include headaches."

136
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:17,711
Had them all my life.

137
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:19,463
"Breast pain."

138
00:06:19,547 --> 00:06:21,757
No knobbies, no probbies.
Nice try, Jim.

139
00:06:22,091 --> 00:06:23,467
Oof. "Infertility."

140
00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:27,304
Yeah, right.

141
00:06:35,980 --> 00:06:38,274
There's my popcorn.
Can you just grab that for me?

142
00:06:38,691 --> 00:06:40,943
Keep your snacks on
your side, Jim, idiot.

143
00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:43,195
What the... what?

144
00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:47,259
Some of these
kernels have crowned.

145
00:06:47,283 --> 00:06:50,327
That's impossible,
becausethats a brand-new bag...

146
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,706
Oh, my god.

147
00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:58,085
Andy!

148
00:07:02,131 --> 00:07:03,716
I'm going to drive
you up to the lake.

149
00:07:03,799 --> 00:07:06,885
Give you a whole week on the
water, just you, me and the kids.

150
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:08,929
Can we stop by that
pie stand on the way?

151
00:07:09,013 --> 00:07:12,516
You mean Laverne's pies tires
fixed also? Yes, we will be doing that.

152
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:13,726
We'll be getting a dozen.

153
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:15,936
A dozen different pies?
'Cause that means rhubarb.

154
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:18,439
Why would you say that? I
meant four apple, four blueberry,

155
00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:21,191
two cherry, one peach, one
chocolate. I thought that was implied.

156
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:22,484
Yeah, okay, then.

157
00:07:22,693 --> 00:07:25,029
Ladies and gentlemen!
I have heard your complaints

158
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,239
and we reached a settlement.

159
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:31,035
So, we will be leaving the
office for one whole week.

160
00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:32,453
Nice job.

161
00:07:33,329 --> 00:07:35,122
In my contract it is stipulated

162
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:37,249
that I provide
a temporary workspace.

163
00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:39,335
It will arrive in
one hour. What?

164
00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,129
What's this? Whoa. What?

165
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:43,380
Dwight: Bring it in.

166
00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:46,091
Roll into
the future with work bus.

167
00:07:46,216 --> 00:07:48,886
Say goodbye to
wasteful buildings.

168
00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:52,181
These days a mobile office
isn'tjust for hotshot politicians.

169
00:07:52,264 --> 00:07:54,308
Now anyone can rent a work bus.

170
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:58,103
If you've got a parking lot, a work
space is just a phone call away.

171
00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:01,607
In this age of belt-tightening
and less empowered workers,

172
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:05,110
a work bus is how tomorrow
gets things done.

173
00:08:08,447 --> 00:08:09,657
They're a hundred pack...

174
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:11,492
No six pack for me.

175
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:14,745
Six. Yes.

176
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:17,373
Sorry. Oh, my god!

177
00:08:17,873 --> 00:08:20,209
Ah! Sorry. Lose weight!

178
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,211
I'm trying, sorry.

179
00:08:25,673 --> 00:08:29,551
Oh, the Pennsylvania department of
public welfare pre-adoption standard.

180
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:31,929
Oh, of course, you were adopted.

181
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:36,850
I wish!
No, I made some short lists,

182
00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:38,852
I had a couple of sleepovers,
but I never

183
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:40,938
managed to get in the end zone.

184
00:08:41,355 --> 00:08:42,648
I don't know what it was.

185
00:08:43,607 --> 00:08:45,984
Not loveable, maybe. Oh, well.

186
00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:48,171
Listen, I'm really
struggling with this form.

187
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:51,031
But as you know the system,
do you think maybe you could...

188
00:08:51,115 --> 00:08:53,158
Absolutely. I know exactly
what they want to hear.

189
00:08:53,242 --> 00:08:54,535
I would love to help.

190
00:08:54,618 --> 00:08:56,787
Oh, thank you so much!

191
00:08:57,413 --> 00:08:59,707
Just, don't tell Andy, because_.

192
00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:01,709
He hates me.
Thinks I'm a monster.

193
00:09:01,792 --> 00:09:03,627
Should go back to Loch Ness.

194
00:09:04,545 --> 00:09:07,005
Stretch. All right.

195
00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,384
How many times do you
need to take a stroll?

196
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:13,470
I... my legs cramp up, okay?
It's a circulation issue.

197
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:15,264
Boy, I will hammerspank
your rear.

198
00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:17,850
All right, all right, gang.
Let's just settle down.

199
00:09:17,933 --> 00:09:19,017
You're yelling in her face.

200
00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:20,310
It's a medical thing.

201
00:09:20,436 --> 00:09:21,770
Just... we good?

202
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,230
I'm good! All right?

203
00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:26,275
I'm so sorry for all of this.

204
00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:30,779
It's okay. You know what they
say, a change is as good as a rest.

205
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,907
I need to get
to the paper, please.

206
00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:35,951
Oh, god! Oh!

207
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,953
Ah! Oh, my god! Are you okay?

208
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:39,139
All right,
I'll get you a napkin.

209
00:09:39,163 --> 00:09:40,306
Can someone get napkins, please?

210
00:09:40,330 --> 00:09:43,125
You know what? It's fine.
It's fine. Let me just... it's fine.

211
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:45,169
Jim: Pam, I'm really sorry.
I just...

212
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:48,922
I'm... I'm really
sorry about all that.

213
00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:53,844
Really? Smirking?

214
00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:56,764
What can I say? Ilovejusfice.

215
00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:58,767
You forced me to spend money
on needless repairs.

216
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:00,726
And now you're
locked in a prison bus

217
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,770
and your woman
drips with beverage.

218
00:10:02,853 --> 00:10:05,189
Hey, Dwight, I was trying to
do something nice for Pam.

219
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,107
Can you just help me out?

220
00:10:07,191 --> 00:10:09,193
Can we maybe take
this thing somewhere?

221
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,904
Or do something to not
make this the worst day ever?

222
00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:14,323
It's not my responsibility to
solve your marriage problems

223
00:10:14,406 --> 00:10:17,242
by spending my money on gas.

224
00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:20,454
Andy!

225
00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:22,831
Yo, toonces.

226
00:10:22,915 --> 00:10:24,058
You're the boss. Don't you think

227
00:10:24,082 --> 00:10:25,185
we'd all be
a lot more productive

228
00:10:25,209 --> 00:10:27,544
if while we were doing work,
we looked up and saw

229
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:30,172
the best rural pie
stand in Pennsylvania?

230
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,465
I know I'd be more productive.

231
00:10:31,590 --> 00:10:32,800
As would I.

232
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:33,884
No question.

233
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:36,303
No, no, this is a work bus.

234
00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:38,222
The wheels are for transporting

235
00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:40,182
the work space to
and from the work site.

236
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:41,433
What are you talking about?

237
00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:43,727
You're not the boss.
Andy is. Andy?

238
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:48,607
All: Pies!
Pies! Pies! Pies! Pies! Pies!

239
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:52,402
All right!
The fat people have spoken!

240
00:10:52,903 --> 00:10:54,905
Dwight, get this bus moving.

241
00:10:57,825 --> 00:11:01,245
Next stop, Laverne's
pies tires fixed also!

242
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:03,163
Oh, yes!

243
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:11,463
So it looks like this work bus was
a pretty good idea after all, huh?

244
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,173
Get your foot
behind the yellow line.

245
00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:14,758
You got it.

246
00:11:27,688 --> 00:11:28,981
Stop. Come back.

247
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,315
Too late. Hmm.

248
00:11:30,816 --> 00:11:35,529
Shabooya roll call! Shabooya
yaya, shabooya roll call!

249
00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,197
My name is Pam yeah?

250
00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:38,866
I like to paint yeah?

251
00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:40,409
You think you're better? Yeah?

252
00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:41,493
Oh, no, you ain't!

253
00:11:41,577 --> 00:11:42,578
Roll call!

254
00:11:42,661 --> 00:11:45,706
Shabooya yaya
shabooya roll call!

255
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:49,126
Shabooya yaya
shabooya roll call!

256
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,794
My name is Kevin yeah?

257
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,379
That is my name yeah?

258
00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:54,381
They call me Kevin yeah?

259
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:55,507
'Cause that's my name

260
00:11:55,591 --> 00:11:56,592
roll call!

261
00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:59,887
Shabooya yaya
shabooya roll call!

262
00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:03,307
Shabooya yaya
shabooya roll call!

263
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:15,193
Thanks. Playing a little
hookey from work today.

264
00:12:18,322 --> 00:12:19,656
Oh, my god!

265
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:24,202
Jim: Dunder Mifflin
road trip 2012!

266
00:12:24,286 --> 00:12:26,914
Okay, now a serious one.

267
00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,418
Hey, where's Dwight?
He should be a part of this.

268
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:34,671
Has he been acting kind
of weird to you lately?

269
00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:37,382
If by lately you mean
for the last 12 years, yeah.

270
00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:39,152
No, I mean he's sulking.
That's not like him.

271
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:40,844
He's just mad that
we're all having fun.

272
00:12:41,345 --> 00:12:43,889
Then why isn't he scheming?
Or preparing to avenge?

273
00:12:45,557 --> 00:12:47,851
He's fine. He's indestructible.

274
00:12:49,895 --> 00:12:51,939
Always say that
a child is "placed"

275
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:54,274
for adoption,
never "surrendered."

276
00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:56,193
We're not hostages.

277
00:12:57,361 --> 00:12:59,363
Although, I have
considered kidnapping one.

278
00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:01,365
And never say that.

279
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:07,621
I am so excited thinking about
this child that you're going to adopt.

280
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:09,748
I wish I could just
wave a magic wand and

281
00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:11,959
make you a parentless
five-year-old again.

282
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,460
I would snap you up.

283
00:13:16,922 --> 00:13:19,925
Next stop, pies.
Next stop, pies.

284
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:23,053
All: Next stop, pies.
Next stop, pies.

285
00:13:23,470 --> 00:13:25,180
Let's go, driver.

286
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:28,392
Laverne packs up
the pie wagon at 5:00, so...

287
00:13:28,725 --> 00:13:31,019
At 5:00? That's only
20 minutes from now.

288
00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:34,398
The pie shop is 13 miles away.

289
00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:38,902
So at 55 miles an hour, that
just gives us five minutes to spare!

290
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:40,988
So, wait. When pies are involved

291
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:43,031
you can suddenly do
math in your head?

292
00:13:43,115 --> 00:13:44,116
Well...

293
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:48,203
Hold on, Kevin,
how much is 19,154 pies

294
00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,247
divided by 61 pies?

295
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:53,166
Three hundred and fourteen pies.

296
00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:56,420
What if it were salads?

297
00:13:56,878 --> 00:13:58,338
Well, it's the...

298
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:03,260
Carry the four... in the...

299
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,720
It doesn't work.

300
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:07,180
I'm sorry to spoil Jim's
fantastic voyage, everyone.

301
00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:08,515
But we're almost out of gas.

302
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:11,977
Okay, well, I saw a station
about a mile back, so chop-chop.

303
00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:14,646
That name brand place?
No, forget about it, sorry.

304
00:14:14,730 --> 00:14:17,816
The tanks are so big on this
thing, five cents a gallon extra?

305
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:18,942
It really adds up.

306
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:21,236
Are you kidding me?
Dwight, come on!

307
00:14:21,445 --> 00:14:23,205
Hey, honey? I don't
think we should push him.

308
00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:25,157
No, I'm going to push him.
You know why?

309
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,868
Because you're getting a pie.
Why? Because you deserve it!

310
00:14:27,951 --> 00:14:30,596
And what is he doing? He's trying
to drive us all around the countryside

311
00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:32,873
looking for gas, because
he knows we won't get there.

312
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:34,791
Is that what we want? All: No!

313
00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:36,918
Stop ordering me around, Jim!

314
00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:38,795
What do we want? All: Pies!

315
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:40,630
When do we want it? All: Pies!

316
00:14:41,173 --> 00:14:42,174
Okay, fine!

317
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:47,137
You win, Jim! You win.

318
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,323
We have been battling for a
long time, but you know what?

319
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:51,617
You win, because you are the
winner. You are the Alpha male.

320
00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:54,311
There you go. Alpha
male, go buy your wife a pie.

321
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,979
Go buy the whole world a pie!

322
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,647
That's impossible.

323
00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:00,150
All: Dwight!

324
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,318
What are you doing?

325
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:02,986
What the hell? Dwight!

326
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,283
Well, now I don't
even feel like pie.

327
00:15:09,493 --> 00:15:10,494
Wait.

328
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:12,996
No, it's back.

329
00:15:15,499 --> 00:15:18,085
Oh, just drive away. Just...

330
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:19,669
Phyllis, that's not safe.

331
00:15:19,753 --> 00:15:21,838
Guys, we only have
18 minutes left.

332
00:15:22,005 --> 00:15:25,008
At 61 miles an hour, we're
just going to barely make it.

333
00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,094
Go up and check on him.
He's upset.

334
00:15:27,177 --> 00:15:28,804
You know he's doing
all this on purpose.

335
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:31,223
Please just make sure he's okay.

336
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:33,826
Stanley: And hurry it up,
for god's sake!

337
00:15:33,850 --> 00:15:35,328
They're going to be
out of banana cream.

338
00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:36,537
Banana cream is the first to go.

339
00:15:36,561 --> 00:15:38,522
We'll be lucky to get
pumpkin at this point.

340
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:39,856
What?

341
00:15:41,233 --> 00:15:42,234
Dwight?

342
00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:44,444
Why are you such a jerk?

343
00:15:44,528 --> 00:15:46,363
I'm trying to do
something for my wife,

344
00:15:46,446 --> 00:15:47,531
and you keep derailing...

345
00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:48,865
I'm barren, Jim.

346
00:15:50,242 --> 00:15:52,536
What? My trouser
hives are void of honey.

347
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:56,081
I had congress with Angela,
and the child that she bore

348
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,791
did not issue from my loins.

349
00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:01,378
I thought I would be a father
and instead I am a eunuch,

350
00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:03,880
neutered by my own building.

351
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:08,051
Is this about the popcorn,
or the x on the ceiling?

352
00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:10,387
Dwight, that was a prank.

353
00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:14,015
You mean you flooded my building
with dangerous electromagnetic

354
00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,268
radiation as a prank?

355
00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:18,371
That's genius. That's the
best prank you've ever done.

356
00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:19,896
I'll take it.

357
00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:24,901
Andy? Who is it?

358
00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:28,363
Um, is this a good time? Yeah.

359
00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:31,741
Perfect time, right in the
middle of a rooftop crisis.

360
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,952
Fine, let me read it.
What do we have here?

361
00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:37,122
Okay.

362
00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:41,585
You've made this very
easy for me. It's unsignable.

363
00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:46,923
Well, is there something...
It's inaccurate, dishonest,

364
00:16:47,048 --> 00:16:49,134
and in a word, dong water.

365
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:52,012
Oh, well, perhaps I could
reword some of it to...

366
00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:54,097
Here's the thing. You
asked me to do you a favor.

367
00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:55,974
I did it. I read it.

368
00:16:56,057 --> 00:16:58,268
Thank you very much
to me for my time.

369
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:01,771
Good luck with
your impossible dream.

370
00:17:04,274 --> 00:17:05,775
All right then.

371
00:17:15,327 --> 00:17:17,787
Dwight, sometimes it takes
couples years to get pregnant.

372
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:20,415
Really? How long did it take
you and Pam to conceive?

373
00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:22,476
That doesn't matter. What
position did you use to conceive?

374
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:23,603
Okay, I'm not
talking about that.

375
00:17:23,627 --> 00:17:24,729
Regular or lady-on-her-back?

376
00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:26,671
You used lady-on-her-back,
didn't you, freak?

377
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,465
Yuck, gross. Never mind, Jim.

378
00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:42,729
British women, famously
over-emotional, am I right?

379
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:46,483
I don't think that's
Nellie. What?

380
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:48,735
Nellie: Oh.

381
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:52,948
Oh, no, no. Look, it's all
right, really. It isn't your fault.

382
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:57,369
No, no. You were so kind,

383
00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,412
and it isn't
anything to do with you.

384
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,667
Did you ever think that
because you own the building,

385
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:07,087
everyone in it, we're all
kind of like your children?

386
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:11,508
You know there's a phrase
about that in German, bildenkinder,

387
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:13,051
used almost
exclusively by childless

388
00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:14,844
landlords to console themselves.

389
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:17,889
But now I really understand it.

390
00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:23,728
Well, now you have a bus full
of real bildenkinder,

391
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:27,107
bildenkinder. Okay, and
they're all dangerously close

392
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:28,692
to not getting pie.

393
00:18:29,859 --> 00:18:32,153
And there's only one
guy who can save them.

394
00:18:32,237 --> 00:18:33,989
It's not me.

395
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:35,156
I agree.

396
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:38,702
Hey, how did it go?

397
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:41,288
It was pretty good, actually.
We bonded, we got to talk...

398
00:18:41,830 --> 00:18:42,831
Oh. Wait, wait, wait!

399
00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:45,959
Dwight: That's what happens
when you don't get out of the way.

400
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:47,252
Out of the way!

401
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:51,298
You feel okay now?
Better than okay.

402
00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:52,757
And you know what, honey?

403
00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:54,884
I'm going to get
you that rhubarb pie.

404
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,279
Well, actually, rhubarb is...
Don't.

405
00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:57,363
The one pie that I... don't.

406
00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:59,055
Everybody, hang on!

407
00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:01,391
Oh!

408
00:19:06,146 --> 00:19:07,647
All: Whoa!

409
00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:13,945
All: Pie! Pie! Pie! Pie! Pie!

410
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:28,501
I changed my mind.

411
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:30,879
Yeah. Oh, you signed it?

412
00:19:31,379 --> 00:19:33,214
Not as is, obviously.

413
00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:37,093
I made a couple of changes,
added some sentences at the end.

414
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:40,138
Trust me, it needed it.

415
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:42,849
But, yeah, whatever.

416
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:53,568
"She's tough in business, but tender
with the people she cares about.

417
00:19:53,651 --> 00:19:55,862
"She'll make a wonderful
mother to any child

418
00:19:55,945 --> 00:19:58,156
"who can
overlook weird accents."

419
00:20:03,036 --> 00:20:05,121
I insult you, Oscar!

420
00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:06,748
What?

421
00:20:06,831 --> 00:20:09,709
I insult you, to your face!

422
00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,670
I don't know what
you're talking about.

423
00:20:12,754 --> 00:20:15,048
Then why don't you
do something about it?

424
00:20:15,507 --> 00:20:16,609
Kevin, are you trying to get me

425
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:18,426
to hit you in
the face with my pie?

426
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:20,345
You don't have the guts,

427
00:20:20,929 --> 00:20:25,600
you stupid, dumb do-do face.

428
00:20:32,649 --> 00:20:33,650
Yes!

429
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:37,112
Oh, my god,
I'm getting so stuffed.

430
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:43,743
We did it.

431
00:20:44,285 --> 00:20:45,662
You did it.

432
00:20:54,504 --> 00:20:56,423
My name is Andy! Yeah?

433
00:20:56,506 --> 00:20:58,466
I don't do drugs yeah?

434
00:20:58,550 --> 00:21:00,468
Now check the style yeah?

435
00:21:00,552 --> 00:21:01,678
Of flatt and scruggs!

436
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:02,846
Yeah

437
00:21:17,735 --> 00:21:18,987
Roll call

438
00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,405
roll call

439
00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:21,614
roll call

440
00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:22,699
what?

