1 00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:07,800 Yesterday, Angela may or may not have figured out that 2 00:00:07,884 --> 00:00:09,468 I am having an affair with her husband. 3 00:00:09,594 --> 00:00:11,929 So I just have to wait and see 4 00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:14,473 when she comes in, if she's cold and awkward 5 00:00:14,557 --> 00:00:17,852 and cruel to me, then great, it's business as usual. 6 00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,233 Good morning. (Clears throat) 7 00:00:30,156 --> 00:00:31,324 Oscar. 8 00:00:35,620 --> 00:00:37,496 Can I ask you a question? 9 00:00:37,914 --> 00:00:41,584 Of course, ask me a... Questions. 10 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,170 Is it cool in here to you? 11 00:00:47,882 --> 00:00:50,301 Yes, a little bit. Yes! 12 00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:52,404 I think that thermostat is acting up again. 13 00:00:52,428 --> 00:00:53,846 It's the stupid thermostat! 14 00:00:53,930 --> 00:00:58,226 That thing's a catastrophe. So, I'm going to... 15 00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:01,029 On your suggestion, get someone to fix it! I'll just go downstairs. 16 00:01:01,479 --> 00:01:02,563 Thank you. 17 00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:03,773 No, thank you, Angela. 18 00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:07,735 She doesn't know. I shouldn't be surprised. 19 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:11,072 This is a woman who married a man who is obviously a homosexual. 20 00:01:11,155 --> 00:01:13,366 Basically she has her head in the sand. 21 00:01:14,367 --> 00:01:18,829 In a way I feel sorry for her. I guess the universe rewards true love. 22 00:01:31,175 --> 00:01:33,010 Dwight: Well, it's finally happened. 23 00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:34,804 Pam has ceased caring. 24 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,432 These are my painting clothes. 25 00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:41,435 I think I'm going to do it. I am really going to start 26 00:01:41,519 --> 00:01:43,312 painting the warehouse mural today. 27 00:01:43,396 --> 00:01:45,666 Sure you don't want to put another coat of primer on that, Pam? 28 00:01:45,690 --> 00:01:47,275 Queen of the primer, that one. 29 00:01:47,358 --> 00:01:49,110 You got this, beesly. 30 00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:52,113 Actually, do you want me to come down and help you get started? 31 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:53,476 Are you avoiding your phone call? 32 00:01:53,531 --> 00:01:56,117 What? Yeah, right. As if. 33 00:01:57,243 --> 00:01:58,703 Today I will be asking David Wallace 34 00:01:58,828 --> 00:02:00,288 if I can start working part-time, 35 00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:02,373 because the sports marketing company that I started 36 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,292 really needs me to be there. 37 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:08,254 Last week, Jim wasn't there and they named the company athlead. 38 00:02:09,839 --> 00:02:11,108 Jim: I could have prevented that. 39 00:02:11,132 --> 00:02:13,092 So, lhaveto talk to Wallace. 40 00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,386 Tell them your opening line. (Sighs) 41 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,739 Hey, David? How'd you like a guy who's not here as much, 42 00:02:17,763 --> 00:02:19,640 gets paid the same amount of salary 43 00:02:19,724 --> 00:02:21,892 and has bigger fish to fry in Philadelphia? 44 00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:25,229 I think it's good. He likes fishing. 45 00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:27,064 This is going to be awful. 46 00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:32,486 One of myjobs is to input customer complaints into the computer. 47 00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:36,032 And when they're in, I fill out one of these cards. 48 00:02:36,115 --> 00:02:38,242 But the information's already on the computer. 49 00:02:38,326 --> 00:02:41,245 So, why am I filling out the card? 50 00:02:42,038 --> 00:02:45,249 I asked Andy and he told me to chi/lax. 51 00:02:45,791 --> 00:02:48,085 And then went away on a big, long boat ride. 52 00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,171 So here we are. 53 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,024 Don't give me a pointless office chore, 54 00:02:52,048 --> 00:02:55,176 because I will build a little paper house. 55 00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:57,928 Fight the power. 56 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:06,228 Meet me in the old place. Five minutes. I need you! 57 00:03:16,072 --> 00:03:17,073 (Groans) 58 00:03:17,156 --> 00:03:18,783 Come on in, the water's fine. 59 00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:22,578 Dwight, it's not that kind of meeting. Put your clothes back on! 60 00:03:22,995 --> 00:03:25,498 I know. That's not why I'm naked. 61 00:03:26,582 --> 00:03:28,542 I always work out without my clothes. 62 00:03:28,626 --> 00:03:31,670 Just put them on! Put on your clothes. 63 00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:35,925 I need your help. I need someone who can operate outside of the law. 64 00:03:36,801 --> 00:03:40,388 I'm sorry, your vigilante privileges ended when you broke up with me. 65 00:03:40,471 --> 00:03:43,057 If I'm not in your panties, I don't go vigilantes. 66 00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:44,809 Why don't you ask your husband? 67 00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,644 My marriage is in danger. 68 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,105 I don't know who I can trust. 69 00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:51,315 I need someone to be there for me. 70 00:03:53,651 --> 00:03:55,629 All right, what are we talking, surveillance, wire-tapping? 71 00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:56,821 Something like that. 72 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,489 Yeah. The less I know the better. 73 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,158 I know just the guy. He was a volunteer sheriff, too. 74 00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:02,576 Kicked off the force. 75 00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:03,994 Can you arrange a meeting? 76 00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:05,496 I can try. 77 00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:09,333 Okay. I'm going to use sms text. 78 00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:11,919 The text went through. 79 00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:13,129 Okay. 80 00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:14,314 All we can do is sit and wait. 81 00:04:14,338 --> 00:04:15,339 Okay. 82 00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:16,632 (Phone buzzes) Oh! 83 00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:20,845 Look at that. Yeah, he's free any time. Not a problem. 84 00:04:22,763 --> 00:04:24,849 I mean, I can handle any client issues from Philly. 85 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:29,061 David: Yeah, but I really need someone in the office, if there's a crisis. 86 00:04:29,145 --> 00:04:30,396 The more I think about it... 87 00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:31,772 You mean handle it in person? 88 00:04:31,856 --> 00:04:34,525 (Quietly) Well, Phyllis and Stanley have agreed 89 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,318 to cover for me while I'm gone. 90 00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:38,362 They did? 91 00:04:38,863 --> 00:04:43,033 Okay. Well, that is different. In that case, yes, maybe this can work. 92 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,368 Great! 93 00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:46,036 Why should we help you? 94 00:04:46,162 --> 00:04:47,705 Because we are friends. 95 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:49,498 When is my birthday? 96 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,208 Unfair. When's my birthday? 97 00:04:51,292 --> 00:04:53,252 I don't know, because we're not friends. 98 00:04:53,419 --> 00:04:57,006 How about this? You let me take you to lunch and I make my case. 99 00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:59,008 Now we're talking. All right. 100 00:04:59,091 --> 00:05:00,217 Yeah. 101 00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,430 Make it go taller. 102 00:05:04,889 --> 00:05:06,307 Thatstheidea. 103 00:05:06,390 --> 00:05:10,561 No, not taller this way, taller this way. 104 00:05:10,895 --> 00:05:13,939 Well, I've got to build a wider base first before I can go higher. 105 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:18,736 You're not getting this, Peter. Make it go wider, up. 106 00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:21,780 Will do. 107 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,824 What are y'all doing? 108 00:05:23,908 --> 00:05:25,951 Me and Pete are building a tower. 109 00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:28,454 Cool. It should be tallerthough, right? 110 00:05:28,537 --> 00:05:30,164 Obviously. 111 00:05:30,498 --> 00:05:36,045 He's a sweet kid, Darryl, but not the sharpest guy in the drawer. 112 00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:39,673 Kevin, I can hear you. 113 00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:41,342 Uh-huh. 114 00:05:45,054 --> 00:05:47,932 Ow! Dwight! God. Get in the Van. 115 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,062 Is it safe to talk? 116 00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:56,023 Well, this documentary crew has been following our every move 117 00:05:56,106 --> 00:06:00,277 for the past nine years, but I don't see them, so I think we're good. 118 00:06:01,946 --> 00:06:03,989 So. What are your credentials? 119 00:06:04,323 --> 00:06:06,825 I started following people around to get exercise. 120 00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:08,786 Turns out I'm damn good at it. 121 00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,704 Do you have a gun? 122 00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,998 Does he own a gun? Show her. 123 00:06:14,458 --> 00:06:15,834 You tell me. 124 00:06:17,962 --> 00:06:19,505 What is this? 125 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:21,632 That's the receipt for my gun. 126 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:23,717 You don't carry it with you? 127 00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:26,971 Read the receipt. That's a $300 gun. 128 00:06:27,388 --> 00:06:28,556 Someone could steal it. 129 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:29,866 You have any idea how many guns 130 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,117 Trevor has had stolen from him? 131 00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,309 Now I keep it in a safe. 132 00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:34,186 A good safe? 133 00:06:34,562 --> 00:06:35,980 You tell me. 134 00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:39,400 Wow! 135 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,748 I guess if I make a mistake, 136 00:06:54,832 --> 00:06:58,085 I can just paint over it with a shrub or something. 137 00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,838 It's just I think less of paintings with a lot of shrubs, 138 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:04,300 so I'm going to limit myselfto one shrub. 139 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:06,510 You paint wall now? 140 00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:10,014 Yeah! Painting now. 141 00:07:10,472 --> 00:07:12,349 I just want to make sure that... 142 00:07:13,642 --> 00:07:14,685 You paint now? 143 00:07:15,060 --> 00:07:17,229 I mean, it's probably going to be a few minutes, 144 00:07:17,313 --> 00:07:20,065 so you can just go back to doing whatever you were doing. 145 00:07:21,567 --> 00:07:22,776 I wait. 146 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,697 Sweet! 147 00:07:28,532 --> 00:07:30,784 This next card comes to us thanks to Meredith Palmer, 148 00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:35,205 who called eastern Pennsylvania seminary a, quote, "sausage factory." 149 00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:36,290 Oh! 150 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:41,211 All right. 151 00:07:41,629 --> 00:07:44,506 Up next, we got a whole lot of creed. 152 00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:46,884 Let's find out what I did. All right. 153 00:07:47,885 --> 00:07:51,472 You get half now and you get half upon completion of said job. 154 00:07:51,597 --> 00:07:53,015 And it's all off the books? 155 00:07:53,223 --> 00:07:54,308 Obviously. 156 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,893 Nice. No taxes. 157 00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:59,980 Okay. So, everything you need to know about the target is in here. 158 00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:01,732 So, what's the job? 159 00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:04,652 Murder. 160 00:08:04,902 --> 00:08:07,529 Okay. That's the big one. That's the big "."M 161 00:08:09,198 --> 00:08:11,659 you can't have someone murdered! 162 00:08:11,742 --> 00:08:13,160 What if they deserved it? 163 00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,662 What did they do to you, Angela? 164 00:08:14,787 --> 00:08:16,246 They're sleeping with my husband! 165 00:08:16,747 --> 00:08:19,249 Monkey. I feel for you. 166 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:20,834 This seems a little crazy. 167 00:08:20,959 --> 00:08:22,336 Yes, crazy! Thank you. 168 00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:23,462 But I think I'm up for it. 169 00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:25,673 Thank you! No, absolutely not. 170 00:08:25,756 --> 00:08:27,150 There are a lot of different ways to get revenge. 171 00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:30,511 I've had great success by defecating in a paper bag, putting it on the porch. 172 00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:31,595 That's very effective. 173 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,931 I've been on the receiving end of that quite a few times. 174 00:08:34,056 --> 00:08:36,767 It's devastating. No, no, no, it has to be physical. 175 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,060 I want this person to suffer. 176 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:39,353 What about a knee-capping? 177 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,397 No! You're not helping, Trevor. 178 00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:43,440 Yes! A knee-capping could work. 179 00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:46,568 No! Angela! What are you saying? 180 00:08:46,694 --> 00:08:48,362 You said you would be there for me. 181 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,614 I'm trying, but what you're asking is... 182 00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:53,784 It's the only thing that will make this right. 183 00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:58,747 Okay. But it's cruel, 184 00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:01,625 because a woman with damaged knees can't scrub worth a damn. 185 00:09:02,126 --> 00:09:05,254 All right, then it's settled, one knee-capping. 186 00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:09,717 Now, the hit goes down at 4:00. Keep in mind, once I leave, 187 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,135 there's no turning back. 188 00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:15,198 Jim: You know, truth be told, I think all you'll really be doing 189 00:09:15,222 --> 00:09:17,391 is accepting calls from my clients while I'm gone. 190 00:09:17,474 --> 00:09:20,060 We've got all afternoon to talk about that. 191 00:09:20,144 --> 00:09:21,186 Morning, folks. 192 00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:24,648 I'll have the surf and turf, with a side order of lobster. 193 00:09:24,982 --> 00:09:27,109 Actually the surf and turf does come with lobster. 194 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:29,111 Not enough lobster. Side order. 195 00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:31,280 How much wine do you have? 196 00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:34,825 I brought you a cookie. 197 00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:37,870 Thanks, Oscar, you're such an angel. 198 00:09:51,592 --> 00:09:54,094 I just gave her a cookie, and she called me an angel, 199 00:09:54,178 --> 00:09:56,430 so, yeah, we're good. 200 00:09:56,513 --> 00:10:00,225 Yeah, we dodged a bullet. 201 00:10:00,309 --> 00:10:02,561 Yes, okay. Yeah. 202 00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:05,814 Yeah, well, I got to go now, but, okay. Bye.Bye. 203 00:10:06,607 --> 00:10:08,192 There we go! (All cheering) 204 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,445 Nicely done, very nicely done. Nice. 205 00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:15,783 All right, this next one goes to Darryl for pocket-dialing a customer 206 00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:17,075 while having sex. 207 00:10:17,409 --> 00:10:18,410 Oh! 208 00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:20,662 You salty dog. 209 00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:23,707 Well, you know. What can I say? Player's got to play. 210 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:24,792 There you go. 211 00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:28,128 Actually that was the sound of me eating spaghetti, 212 00:10:28,212 --> 00:10:30,672 but I'm going to let them think the other thing. 213 00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:32,716 Okay, I got this one. 214 00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,676 Be careful! Be careful! 215 00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:36,553 Easy does it, everyone. 216 00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:39,515 Nobody even take a breath. 217 00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:41,391 Kevin, don't. 218 00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:42,684 (All exclaim angrily) 219 00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:47,022 Kevin! What did I say? What did I just say? Look at that... 220 00:10:47,231 --> 00:10:50,400 Hey, hey, hey! It's just a mistake. It's just a mistake. 221 00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:52,736 That's what this tower is all about. Mistakes. 222 00:10:53,737 --> 00:10:56,990 Okay? If you're afraid of screwing up, this tower's not for you. 223 00:10:57,074 --> 00:11:00,828 Show of hands, who here has never had a complaint? That's right. 224 00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:04,581 Nobody! See that? Nobody. 225 00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:08,126 Okay? Let's get back to work. 226 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,671 Come on. You in? 227 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:12,840 Yeah. Yeah! 228 00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:15,050 There we go. All right, let's do it. 229 00:11:16,969 --> 00:11:18,428 Jim: You know, at the end of the day, 230 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:20,055 it's really only two days, remember. 231 00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:21,640 I mean, I'll be back at the office, 232 00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:23,559 and if you need me for an emergency, call me. 233 00:11:23,642 --> 00:11:26,311 You know what? I don't know where the years went. 234 00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:31,066 Because sometimes when I look at my hands, I don't even recognize them. 235 00:11:31,275 --> 00:11:33,652 Tell me about it. Whose hands are these? 236 00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:35,988 They're not my hands. Oh, no. 237 00:11:36,071 --> 00:11:39,032 All right. You know what? Maybe we'll just... we'll go slow. 238 00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:40,450 No, Jim. 239 00:11:41,952 --> 00:11:43,912 Yes! Ahnghfl checkitout 240 00:11:43,996 --> 00:11:46,373 like a Phoenix from the ashes! 241 00:11:46,623 --> 00:11:50,586 Nice. Pretty soon, we're going to be at the ceiling. 242 00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:53,463 Can you hand me a card? 243 00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:55,841 It's empty. 244 00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:57,426 What? What? 245 00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:58,886 Come on, we could use a blank card. 246 00:11:58,969 --> 00:12:00,095 No! 247 00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:01,305 That's cheating! 248 00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:02,681 I could get us a complaint. 249 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:07,227 You? Little miss priss? You wouldn't fart on a butterfly. 250 00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:10,314 No, iwouldn't. I can't even relate to that impulse. 251 00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:14,651 But I bet I can get us a customer complaint and I'd like to try. 252 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:18,822 Yeah! Go Pam! All right. 253 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:22,409 All: Pam! Pam! Pam! Pam! Pam! Pam! 254 00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,036 Go, Pam! Go, Pam! 255 00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:25,704 Pam! Pam! Pam! 256 00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:26,997 Hey Kevin, let's... 257 00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:28,290 Pam! Pam! Pam! 258 00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,584 What? Why did you call me out here? 259 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:33,420 The target. It's Oscar, isn't it? 260 00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:36,089 He and the senator are gaying each other. 261 00:12:37,174 --> 00:12:38,484 I don't know what you're talking about. 262 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,135 Your nostrils tell a different story. 263 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:42,846 They flare like that every time you're engaging in deception. 264 00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:44,556 Hello again, naughty nostrils. 265 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:47,476 Fine, it's Oscar! So what? 266 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:50,854 Well, I could understand you wanting to get a stranger's knees whacked, 267 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:53,106 but a co-worker, dare I say a friend? 268 00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:57,027 Exactly, a friend, someone who sits next to you, year after year, 269 00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,695 making chit chat and smiling. 270 00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:01,907 And all the while running behind your back, and defiling your marriage, 271 00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:03,533 andsedudng your husband! 272 00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:07,371 I can't even imagine how painful this must be for you. 273 00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:12,125 But the first ones to break your marriage vows were you and me! 274 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,630 Well, you might be right. But it's too late now. 275 00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:18,256 What do you mean? 276 00:13:18,382 --> 00:13:19,466 He's here. 277 00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:24,262 No! No, no, no! 278 00:13:29,351 --> 00:13:32,980 Oscar? Oscar! Oscar, good! Listen! Hey, come with me! 279 00:13:33,063 --> 00:13:34,481 What? Come with me! 280 00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,732 What are you doing? 281 00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:37,126 There are a bunch of construction workers 282 00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,795 in the warehouse without their trousers... I'm working. 283 00:13:38,819 --> 00:13:40,487 Drinking diet sodas. 284 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:43,407 You have got to see this. They're extraordinary. 285 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:44,950 Yahtzee! 286 00:13:51,248 --> 00:13:54,835 Sandwich delivery for Mr. Oscar Martinez. 287 00:13:57,421 --> 00:14:01,091 I am Oscar Martinez. 288 00:14:01,258 --> 00:14:04,845 No, not him, outside! Outside! 289 00:14:07,139 --> 00:14:08,140 What, what? 290 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:09,988 You know there's donuts in the break room? 291 00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:11,393 Nice! 292 00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:15,188 Listen, I was really wondering if maybe 293 00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:17,000 we could lock this down before lunch is over. 294 00:14:17,024 --> 00:14:18,859 Don't be pushy, Jim. Itstacky. 295 00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,110 All right. 296 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,696 Phyllis! Phyllis! That's decorative. 297 00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:23,905 No, there's wine in here. 298 00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:25,157 It's still decorative. 299 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,533 Is it white wine? Nope. 300 00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,118 Dude, hey, can you help me? 301 00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,037 Don't poke people with knives! 302 00:14:30,746 --> 00:14:31,830 Ph ilis! (Laughs) Y 303 00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:33,123 wow! 304 00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:34,791 Bring it over. Got it. 305 00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:38,170 There's no time to explain! 306 00:14:41,131 --> 00:14:43,175 Dwight... okay, actually there is time to explain. 307 00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,427 When Angela found out that you seduced her husband, 308 00:14:45,510 --> 00:14:47,054 we hired a guy to break your kneecaps. 309 00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:49,014 My god! What is wrong with you? 310 00:14:49,139 --> 00:14:51,058 What is wrong with you? 311 00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:52,684 There are a million gorgeous guys 312 00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:54,394 in the scranton/wilkes-barre area, 313 00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:56,598 and you choose the man who is the father of her child? 314 00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,666 I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, don't lie! 315 00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:01,860 I'm trying to save those precious knees you're always bragging about! 316 00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:04,780 Now let's get out of here! He could be right behind us! 317 00:15:05,322 --> 00:15:06,323 (Exclaims with surprise) 318 00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:08,116 Actually, he's right in front of us! 319 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,494 Let's get it on. I'm going to do this. 320 00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,038 I might... I might puke, but I'm going to do this. 321 00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:15,040 No, Trevor. I'm not going to let you. 322 00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:17,125 He's a dunder Mifflin man. He's my tribe. 323 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:20,420 Sorry, Dwight, but for once in my stupid, stupid life, 324 00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:22,190 I'm going to follow through on something. All right? 325 00:15:22,214 --> 00:15:23,965 I have masculinity issues, ihave_. 326 00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:26,093 Stop! No! Okay. I got it! 327 00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:27,969 Disarm! You don't know... 328 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,848 Isummon, I summon, I summon... 329 00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:33,809 And disarm! Now! 330 00:15:34,976 --> 00:15:36,520 Okay. Okay. Okay. 331 00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:38,188 No, Oscar, no! He's a friend! 332 00:15:38,313 --> 00:15:39,689 Okay. He's a friend. 333 00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:43,443 Okay, the client is heymont brake and tire. They're family owned, 334 00:15:43,527 --> 00:15:45,445 but don't let that take away your edge. 335 00:15:45,529 --> 00:15:48,865 Come on, Pam, I know you can fail. I see failure in you. 336 00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:53,078 Remember, you're a scum bag, so you think scummy thoughts, like this. 337 00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:59,417 Hello, this is Pam Halpert. I'm calling from dunder Mifflin. 338 00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:01,795 Yes, your paper provider. 339 00:16:01,878 --> 00:16:05,507 And I just called to say 340 00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:07,801 your mama is so fat, when she wears red 341 00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:09,344 people yell "hey, kool-aid!" 342 00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:12,347 Yeah, your mom is fat! This is Pam Halpert! 343 00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:15,868 Darryl: Did they say anything? Nellie: What did they say? 344 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:18,019 I couldn't tell. I don't... Were they angry? 345 00:16:18,103 --> 00:16:19,896 I felt like they were confused at least. 346 00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:21,690 Okay. (Phone rings) 347 00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:24,860 Oh, my. 348 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,157 Dunder Mifflin, this is Erin. Yes, you can. 349 00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:32,284 Okay. 350 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:36,163 I will make sure that goes on file. 351 00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:39,499 Ladies and gentlemen, we just lost a client! 352 00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:41,585 All right! Yes! 353 00:16:42,586 --> 00:16:44,296 Come on! You did good. You did good. 354 00:16:44,379 --> 00:16:46,256 See you later, heymont! 355 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,470 If you chase me, I will run so fast. 356 00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:55,348 If you catch me, I will bite so hard. Got it? 357 00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:57,225 Goodbye, my friend. 358 00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:58,476 What the hell, Dwight? 359 00:16:58,602 --> 00:16:59,728 See you later, Trevor! 360 00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,521 You are incorrigible! 361 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:04,608 I just saved your life! You're welcome! 362 00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:10,071 You hired someone to hit me with a pipe! 363 00:17:10,155 --> 00:17:12,365 You deserve every bit of it! 364 00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,284 You made my husband gay! 365 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:19,289 What I did was wrong, and I have to live with that every day. 366 00:17:20,332 --> 00:17:23,460 But your husband is gay and he was gay when you married him. 367 00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:24,669 No, no. 368 00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:26,004 Angela, until you face that, 369 00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:28,441 you're going to be confused and angry for all the wrong reasons. 370 00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:30,842 But if you want to blame me for the whole thing, 371 00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:34,012 go ahead. I won't stop you. 372 00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:35,889 Hit me, you have my blessing. Hit me! 373 00:17:37,349 --> 00:17:38,576 We”, are you going to let go of it? 374 00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,852 Because part of the blame is definitely on you. 375 00:17:40,936 --> 00:17:42,079 Angela, it's a lead fricking pipe! 376 00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:43,146 God! 377 00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:45,857 You were supposed to be my friend! 378 00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,442 I'm so sorry! Angela! 379 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:48,693 Oscar. 380 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:57,494 Our crowning complaint card comes to us thanks to Pamela Halpert. 381 00:17:57,661 --> 00:17:58,995 (All applauding) 382 00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:03,750 For insulting a client's recently deceased mother. 383 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,086 I did not know that. No. 384 00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:09,714 A woman who struggled with obesity all her life. 385 00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:11,424 I am so sorry. 386 00:18:11,508 --> 00:18:15,303 Yeah, that is terrible. 387 00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:17,722 All right! 388 00:18:17,847 --> 00:18:19,307 Go, Pam! 389 00:18:19,474 --> 00:18:21,351 You did it! 390 00:18:29,651 --> 00:18:34,155 I feel so stupid. I sit next to him every day. 391 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:38,410 You're not stupid. Jazz is stupid. 392 00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:44,791 Jazz is stupid! I mean, just play the right notes! 393 00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:46,876 I know. 394 00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:52,882 You're going to be okay, monkey. 395 00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:02,017 Idonthke your friend Trevor. 396 00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:04,352 I don't like him either. 397 00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:09,316 And yet, I really like him. 398 00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,116 Well, we're here. 399 00:19:19,075 --> 00:19:20,577 Perfect. 400 00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:31,588 We're going to cover for you, you know? (Stanley chuckling) 401 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:35,091 Phyllis, what was that? Phyllis, are you dreaming, or... 402 00:19:35,884 --> 00:19:38,636 I did enjoy grinding your beans, son. 403 00:19:39,721 --> 00:19:42,474 Yeah, we really did peel your grapes. 404 00:19:42,557 --> 00:19:45,018 This is hilarious. But we're going to stop with all the... 405 00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:46,436 Shucking your peas! 406 00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:47,896 Shucking my peas. 407 00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:50,982 All right, just go back to the first part. You are going to cover for me? 408 00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:52,484 Yeah. 409 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:55,111 Of course we are, Jimmy. We love you guys. 410 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:58,573 Oh, my god! Thank you. Thank you. 411 00:19:59,783 --> 00:20:02,035 If you're an artist, you have to be okay with the idea 412 00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:03,995 that you can't please everybody all the time. 413 00:20:04,079 --> 00:20:05,372 You paint very bad, bad! 414 00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:06,831 Shut up, hide! 415 00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:09,769 I mean, do you think Kevin cares what people think about him? 416 00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:11,920 Or creed? Or Meredith? 417 00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:15,924 Oh, my gosh, these are my role models now. 418 00:20:16,966 --> 00:20:19,386 You know what? I'm okay with that. 419 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,976 Where does gayness come from and how is it transmitted? 420 00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:30,480 Now that is a loaded question. 421 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,024 My pastor said it can come from breast feeding. 422 00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,443 He said that? 423 00:20:35,527 --> 00:20:37,070 Well, he didn't fight me hard on it. 424 00:20:38,446 --> 00:20:41,866 I don't know if there's truth to that. 425 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:45,787 What is it called when two men intertwine their penises 426 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:48,832 like the snakes on the medic-alert bracelet? 427 00:20:50,625 --> 00:20:52,001 Is it called red vine-ing? 428 00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:53,503 Is it called red vine-ing? 429 00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:57,549 We heard it was called red vine-ing. People red-vine? 430 00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:01,845 Where are gay men's vaginas? 431 00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:05,098 They don't have vaginas. 432 00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:06,433 What? 433 00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:10,019 No. They're just regular men. 434 00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:13,481 When two gay men have sex, 435 00:21:13,565 --> 00:21:16,317 how do they know whose penis will open up 436 00:21:16,401 --> 00:21:18,695 to accept the other person's penis? 437 00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:23,533 Wow.