1 00:00:09,177 --> 00:00:11,721 I'm having second thoughts about one of the shirts I packed, 2 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,098 the blue one with the stripes. 3 00:00:15,141 --> 00:00:16,893 I'm sure it's fine. It's a blue shirt. 4 00:00:17,268 --> 00:00:19,228 Yeah, but I'm wondering if it's too blue. 5 00:00:19,770 --> 00:00:22,815 Like, am I making a statement with the blueness? 6 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:27,361 I am leaving early today for Philly, 7 00:00:28,154 --> 00:00:31,157 because tomorrow is the first day of my new job. 8 00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:36,704 So, I figure I get in at 5:00, check in to a hotel about 6:00, 9 00:00:36,787 --> 00:00:40,583 so I can get a real good night of restless sleep and nervous puking. 10 00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:42,960 Excuse me! Trying to get work done. 11 00:00:43,044 --> 00:00:46,797 Some people don't care about Jim's new sports job in phila-whatever. 12 00:00:46,881 --> 00:00:49,383 So you know my job has something to do with sports, 13 00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:52,053 but you don't know the end of the word "Philadelphia"? 14 00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:55,389 Philadelphia. From the Greek philia meaning "love," 15 00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:58,768 and "adelph" meaning Adolf. "The city that loves Adolf." 16 00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:00,531 Dwight: Good luck with your new enterprise. 17 00:01:01,229 --> 00:01:02,623 And don't wear the blue-striped shirt. 18 00:01:02,647 --> 00:01:04,649 It makes your neck look like an old mop handle. 19 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:11,739 Oh! Hey, guys, the Christmas party is today. 20 00:01:11,822 --> 00:01:13,366 Merry Christmas, everyone! 21 00:01:13,658 --> 00:01:14,951 Is it? 22 00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:18,287 I mean, it says "x-mas party," but I think we all know what that's code for. 23 00:01:18,371 --> 00:01:20,623 So we're not going to have a Christmas party this year? 24 00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:23,167 Angela, how could you do this to us? 25 00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:25,002 Right. Like, I'm responsible 26 00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:27,105 because I'm in charge of the party planning committee. 27 00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:28,482 Well, you are the one in charge of the... 28 00:01:28,506 --> 00:01:30,591 Don't blame me for something we all forgot! 29 00:01:30,675 --> 00:01:33,344 Yeah, let's not blame her for something we all forgot! 30 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,973 I didn't realize how many ofangela's opinions I agreed with 31 00:01:37,056 --> 00:01:40,685 until she tried to have my kneecap shattered for sleeping with her husband. 32 00:01:40,768 --> 00:01:42,853 She makes a lot of very sound points. 33 00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,940 I knew the party was today, but nobody asked me to plan it, 34 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,233 so I didn't. Hmm. 35 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,110 Funny how that works. 36 00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:52,238 We're out there, sweating our balls off every day, 37 00:01:52,321 --> 00:01:53,614 busting our balls. 38 00:01:53,698 --> 00:01:55,116 We deserve a Christmas party. 39 00:01:55,199 --> 00:01:59,120 Well, then why don't we just get some liquor and those mini-cupcakes? 40 00:01:59,203 --> 00:02:00,705 Mini-cupcakes? 41 00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:03,332 As in the mini-version of regular cupcakes, 42 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:05,960 which is already a mini-version of cake? 43 00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:08,546 Honestly, where does it end with you people? 44 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:11,048 What about an authentic Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas? 45 00:02:11,674 --> 00:02:14,677 Drink some gliihwein, enjoy some hasenpfeffer. 46 00:02:15,386 --> 00:02:17,722 Enjoy Christmas with Saint Nicholas' 47 00:02:17,847 --> 00:02:20,182 rural German companion, belsnickel. 48 00:02:20,266 --> 00:02:23,311 Yes! That! That! That! 49 00:02:23,394 --> 00:02:25,234 Definitely doing that. Are we all in agreement? 50 00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:26,605 Angela: No! All: No. 51 00:02:26,689 --> 00:02:27,815 Jim: Done, right? No. 52 00:02:27,898 --> 00:02:29,567 I want tropical Christmas. 53 00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,860 Topless Christmas! 54 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:32,069 Tapas Swiss miss! 55 00:02:33,446 --> 00:02:37,575 Spanish tapas and Swiss miss hot cocoa. What's so hard to understand? 56 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:42,121 Or, who was it that suggested an authentic Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas? 57 00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:43,748 I think it was someone really popular. 58 00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,624 We already said no. No! 59 00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:46,768 No, no. Meredith: Too weird. 60 00:02:46,792 --> 00:02:49,628 This is me and my family celebrating Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas 61 00:02:49,712 --> 00:02:51,088 in 1982 on the farm. 62 00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:54,050 There's me and my brother Jeb breaking the ceremonial pig rib. 63 00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,719 He doesn't come back for Christmas anymore. 64 00:02:57,386 --> 00:03:00,306 The sepia tint is from an app on my phone. 65 00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,475 This is the same photo matrix-style. 66 00:03:04,602 --> 00:03:06,062 I'm not understanding the confusion. 67 00:03:06,145 --> 00:03:08,356 Am I the only one who wants to try hufflepuffs 68 00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:11,233 and schnauzer-hosen and meet this Glen pickle guy? 69 00:03:11,484 --> 00:03:15,321 (Whistles) Party planning committee, emergency meeting. Now. 70 00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:20,284 I'm on it. (Quietly) Great. 71 00:03:20,576 --> 00:03:21,856 I'm just hoping German terrorists 72 00:03:21,911 --> 00:03:23,180 don't take over this Christmas party, 73 00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:25,331 make me go all John mcclane on their asses. 74 00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:27,833 Wait, German terrorists? That's oddly specific. 75 00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:30,503 And I think... I think you mean John mccain. 76 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,255 Die hard reference. I haven't seen it. 77 00:03:33,631 --> 00:03:35,466 You haven't seen die hard? 78 00:03:35,549 --> 00:03:37,176 Why haven't you seen die hard? 79 00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:38,969 I don't know! I just haven't! 80 00:03:39,053 --> 00:03:41,639 Come on. You had to have at least seen some of it. 81 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:42,723 Nope. 82 00:03:42,807 --> 00:03:47,395 "Now I have a machine gun. Ho, ho, hofi 83 00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:50,856 "come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs." 84 00:03:50,940 --> 00:03:53,109 None of this makes any sense to me. 85 00:03:53,192 --> 00:03:56,695 Oh! Yeah, and when he takes the gun off his back and he's like, 86 00:03:56,779 --> 00:03:58,239 "yippee-ki-yay, mother..." 87 00:03:58,322 --> 00:04:00,408 Actually, he doesn't say that there. 88 00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:03,452 He says it earlier, when he's on the radio with hans. 89 00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:07,373 Yes. You are right. Forgive me. 90 00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:09,583 That's okay, bud. Nope. 91 00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:11,085 Pete: Comnmnrmswke nojtsnot 92 00:04:11,794 --> 00:04:13,170 nerd! 93 00:04:13,254 --> 00:04:14,964 Do you know every line of the movie? 94 00:04:15,339 --> 00:04:17,091 My brother dared me to memorize it, 95 00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:19,677 and I did it, and I loved doing it. 96 00:04:20,136 --> 00:04:21,345 Okay, let's hear it. 97 00:04:22,388 --> 00:04:24,098 Hear what? Die hard. 98 00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,183 Every line. Go. 99 00:04:26,517 --> 00:04:27,852 "You don't like flying, do you?" 100 00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,687 Don't change the subject. 101 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,021 No, that's... 102 00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:32,440 The movie is starting. 103 00:04:33,149 --> 00:04:34,549 We're thinking of collaborating with 104 00:04:34,650 --> 00:04:36,086 Mike schmidt on some of his charity work. 105 00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:38,404 I love Philly. Dirty town. 106 00:04:39,071 --> 00:04:40,698 (Chuckles) Whoa! 107 00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:43,659 Philly! Exciting stuff, man. 108 00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:44,952 Whoo! (Sighs) 109 00:04:45,035 --> 00:04:47,180 So, are you sure you remembered everything for your trip? 110 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:48,372 Yeah, I think so. 111 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,958 Think that through for a sec. 112 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,751 Yeah, Jim's going to Philly tomorrow. 113 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:55,555 He said he was going to take me with him, but that was two months ago 114 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:58,466 and I haven't heard anything since. 115 00:04:58,549 --> 00:05:00,676 I mean, he said that, right? 116 00:05:01,719 --> 00:05:04,054 What else could you possibly be forgetting? 117 00:05:05,181 --> 00:05:07,099 Things, people? 118 00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:08,434 (Chuckles) 119 00:05:08,851 --> 00:05:10,491 Do you know who's not going to get to work 120 00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:12,146 on some exciting new startup this year? 121 00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:17,026 George Howard skub, aka the alleged Scranton strangler. 122 00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:21,155 Toby: Because he's in prison for something he may not have done. 123 00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:23,574 I'm sorry, the Scranton who? 124 00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:26,452 The Scranton strangler. George Howard skub. 125 00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:28,847 Have I not told you about the jury I was on a couple of years ago? 126 00:05:28,871 --> 00:05:29,955 (Gasps) 127 00:05:30,039 --> 00:05:31,165 Oh! What happened? 128 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,726 I mean, if you can talk about it, obviously. 129 00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,126 Because if you can't, I understand. 130 00:05:34,210 --> 00:05:37,087 I could. I could talk about it. 131 00:05:37,922 --> 00:05:39,006 See you next Christmas. 132 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:40,758 Toby: I could, sure. Have a seat. 133 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,092 I would start at the beginning, 134 00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:45,888 but I think I need to go farther back. 135 00:05:46,305 --> 00:05:48,474 We're the party planning committee. 136 00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:51,477 And we did not get where we are by playing it safe. 137 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,979 We got here by being risk-takers! 138 00:05:54,939 --> 00:06:00,110 And yeah, Dwight's party is going to be terrible, maybe. 139 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:03,906 Maybe it's not. 140 00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:07,076 Maybe it's going to be great. 141 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:08,619 And if it's great, 142 00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,751 I think we all know what that would mean to us. 143 00:06:19,088 --> 00:06:21,465 Let's do it. Yes! Phyllis! 144 00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:24,885 No. I don't want my name attached to this party. 145 00:06:24,969 --> 00:06:26,988 What does that even mean? Where would your name appear? 146 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,889 Please just take my name off of everything. 147 00:06:28,973 --> 00:06:30,641 Just take her name off of everything! 148 00:06:32,643 --> 00:06:33,811 (Clears throat) 149 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:36,647 The party planning committee, minus Angela, 150 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,358 has decided that we're all going to do 151 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:41,819 Dwight's Christmas. 152 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:46,365 Yes! Yeah! Yeah! Okay! Yes! 153 00:06:46,448 --> 00:06:49,827 It's a Christmas miracle! Yeah! Whoo-hoo! 154 00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:51,078 Pam: Dwight? Yes. 155 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,831 There is one rule that you need to take very seriously. 156 00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,917 And that is... 157 00:06:57,001 --> 00:06:58,335 That there are no rules. 158 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,588 You have never been cooler. 159 00:07:02,047 --> 00:07:04,008 Best Christmas ever. 160 00:07:04,717 --> 00:07:06,594 You're welcome. Thank you. 161 00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:11,765 (Blows horn) 162 00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:16,895 And Pennsylvania Dutch Christmas has officially begun! 163 00:07:17,730 --> 00:07:19,523 Ugh! What is this stuff? Lava? 164 00:07:19,607 --> 00:07:22,526 That is gliihwein, also known as "glow wine," 165 00:07:22,610 --> 00:07:24,570 also used to sterilize medical instruments. 166 00:07:25,029 --> 00:07:27,239 And, interesting factoid, 167 00:07:27,323 --> 00:07:30,242 this is the very spoon that guided my soft skull 168 00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:32,369 through the birth canal when I was born. 169 00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:33,912 Dwight: Enjoy! What is it? 170 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:35,664 Don't touch it! 171 00:07:37,583 --> 00:07:40,377 Somebody's found the hog maw! What? 172 00:07:40,669 --> 00:07:42,755 It's a Pennsylvania Dutch specialty, hog maw. 173 00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:43,964 That's a beauty, isn't it? 174 00:07:44,048 --> 00:07:46,848 I don't even want to tell you what it's made of until after you try it. 175 00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:48,844 Ugh! I'm not eating mystery meat. 176 00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:50,888 It is stuffed pig stomach. 177 00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:53,307 And after we finish it, we get to break the pig rib. 178 00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:54,808 Can't wait. Meredith: Weird. 179 00:07:54,892 --> 00:07:57,478 Where're the sugar cookies? Where's the karaoke machine? 180 00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:59,772 This is austere, Meredith. 181 00:07:59,855 --> 00:08:03,776 This is celebrating Christmas for all of the right reasons. 182 00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:07,237 The cookies and toys and sweets are mere distractions. 183 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,490 I mean, most people don't even know 184 00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:12,493 that a candy cane represents a Shepherd's crook, 185 00:08:12,576 --> 00:08:14,429 which I assure you, does not taste like peppermint. 186 00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:16,121 It tastes like sheep feces. 187 00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,432 Oscar: How would anyone even know... 188 00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:19,225 Dwight: Have you ever tasted a Shepherd's crook? 189 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,126 I don't know. Is it what you expected? 190 00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:25,297 I feel like Dwight is holding a candle and reading a poem. 191 00:08:26,632 --> 00:08:28,384 So happy right now. 192 00:08:30,427 --> 00:08:34,306 (Speaking in German) 193 00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:37,434 Wait, what is that I hear? Someone on the roof? 194 00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:38,894 How strange. 195 00:08:39,770 --> 00:08:43,357 Excuse me, I have to run to my car to take a dump. 196 00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:48,821 Wish my car had a bathroom. 197 00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:51,031 "Let Heinrich plant the detonators 198 00:08:51,156 --> 00:08:53,396 "and Theo prepare the vault. After that.. (Mimics buzzer) 199 00:08:53,826 --> 00:08:55,703 That wasn't the line. I'm sorry, Pete. 200 00:08:55,786 --> 00:08:59,248 That is transcribed by some fan. They make mistakes. 201 00:08:59,331 --> 00:09:01,959 I don't know. This looks pretty legit. 202 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,210 (Phone beeps) 203 00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:05,003 Oh, my gosh. 204 00:09:05,087 --> 00:09:06,672 I just got an e-mail from Andy! 205 00:09:06,755 --> 00:09:08,298 That means they hit land. 206 00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:11,802 "Wuddup, shorty! We got in last night, sold the boat. 207 00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,555 "Went out, got drunk, 208 00:09:14,638 --> 00:09:19,351 "saw life of pi, got super depressed and introspective. 209 00:09:19,435 --> 00:09:22,229 "Gonna hang out here awhile, 210 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:26,775 "maybe a couple of weeks, figure this whole life thing out, 211 00:09:26,859 --> 00:09:29,570 "maybe see hobbit. Lates." 212 00:09:32,698 --> 00:09:34,491 Hey, everything okay? 213 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,410 So what comes next? 214 00:09:37,453 --> 00:09:40,581 Right, okay. 215 00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:42,499 So he says, 216 00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:45,145 "after we call the police, they'll waste hours trying to negotiate..." 217 00:09:45,169 --> 00:09:46,920 We should just watch the movie. 218 00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,088 That makes much more sense. 219 00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:49,923 Or we can just sit and talk, though. 220 00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:52,760 No. No more talking. It's movie time. 221 00:09:52,843 --> 00:09:54,428 I mean, are you sure? Um... 222 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,932 Yeah. I probably have a copy or two in my car. 223 00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:02,102 Great, great. So we're watching die hard now. 224 00:10:02,186 --> 00:10:03,896 Good! This is a good plan. 225 00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:05,272 Okay. 226 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:09,568 Here's the thing about moonlight. It's not sunlight. 227 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:12,154 I love this hog mama. 228 00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:14,031 Dwight said it's hog "maw." 229 00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:16,700 What is maw? 230 00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,786 It's the lining of the stomach of the... 231 00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:19,870 (Chuckling) Oh! 232 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,957 Judgment is nigh! For der belsnickel ist I! 233 00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:25,876 Yes! He is finally nigh. 234 00:10:26,376 --> 00:10:27,961 I am nigh! 235 00:10:28,045 --> 00:10:31,715 Every year, my grandfather would dress up as belsnickel at Christmas. 236 00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:35,052 He was okay at it. 237 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,387 I am great. 238 00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:39,365 You know how they say some people are born to be bad? 239 00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:42,351 Well, I was born to be belsnickel. 240 00:10:43,435 --> 00:10:46,855 Belsnickel has traveled from distant lands 241 00:10:46,939 --> 00:10:49,066 to discover how all the boys and the girls 242 00:10:49,191 --> 00:10:51,318 have been behaving this last year. 243 00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:53,320 (Chuckling) Oh! 244 00:10:53,403 --> 00:10:54,446 Too much strudel! 245 00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:56,990 So he's kind of like Santa? Except dirty and worse. 246 00:10:57,074 --> 00:11:00,744 No! Much better! No one fears Santa the way they fear belsnickel! 247 00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:02,162 Wow! 248 00:11:02,246 --> 00:11:03,890 It's my favorite part of Christmas. The authority. 249 00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:04,915 And the fear. 250 00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:06,041 Yes, exactly! 251 00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:08,085 Come on, Dwight. You're making this up. 252 00:11:08,252 --> 00:11:09,962 Oscar: This is a real thing. 253 00:11:10,045 --> 00:11:12,756 "Belsnickel is a crotchety fur-clad gift-giver, 254 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,175 "related to other companions of Saint Nicholas 255 00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:17,177 "in the folklore of southwestern Germany." 256 00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:19,680 Okay, great. Seriously, you guys? 257 00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:21,431 Now you believe in Dwight's traditions 258 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,642 when some democrat looks it up on Wikipedia? 259 00:11:24,393 --> 00:11:27,312 "His partner zwarte piet, or black Peter, 260 00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:32,276 "a slave boy often portrayed in colorful pantaloons and black face." 261 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:35,112 Uh-uh. No, Dwight, no. 262 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,530 Oh! Come on. 263 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:40,325 We don't blindly stick to every outmoded aspect of our traditions. 264 00:11:40,409 --> 00:11:43,120 Come on! Get with the spirit of it, you guys! 265 00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:48,625 (Phone beeps) 266 00:11:49,084 --> 00:11:50,836 (Phone vibrates) 267 00:11:59,428 --> 00:12:02,514 Karl was actually a ballet dancer in real life. 268 00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:04,641 Isn't that crazy? Mmm. 269 00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:09,229 Jim, thatguy. 270 00:12:09,980 --> 00:12:11,189 (Scoffs) 271 00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:13,191 You got to stick to your word, 272 00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:17,154 like when you say something to a buddy, a real buddy. 273 00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:20,490 What are you going to do? Lie to your buddy? 274 00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,618 That's awful. 275 00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:24,620 Dwight: Take the bowl, pass it down. 276 00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:26,246 Thank you, Dwight, these are nice. 277 00:12:26,330 --> 00:12:27,706 No, these are gift bowls. 278 00:12:27,789 --> 00:12:29,875 When you receive a gift, itwill go in the bowl, 279 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,103 but the bowls must be returned at the end. They're a set. 280 00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:34,713 Now, hold your bowls forward, 281 00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:40,427 the belsnickel will decide if you are impish or admirable. 282 00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:42,262 It's like naughty or nice? 283 00:12:42,346 --> 00:12:44,348 No, impish or admirable. 284 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:46,826 Quick question, do you just decide who gets what in the moment, 285 00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:47,935 or did you make a list? 286 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:49,353 I decided earlier. 287 00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:51,063 Oh! Nice. Did you check that list? 288 00:12:51,146 --> 00:12:52,146 Of course I checked it. 289 00:12:52,189 --> 00:12:53,833 But more than once? Because you could've made a mistake. 290 00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:54,900 Icheckedit more than once. 291 00:12:54,983 --> 00:12:56,711 Okay, so you made a list, you checked it twice, 292 00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,087 and now you're going to find out who's... 293 00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,363 Impish or admirable. 294 00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:00,530 Damn. 295 00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,824 Phyllis Vance! Cheer or fear, 296 00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:06,912 belsnickel is here, I judge your year as 297 00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:09,206 admirable. 298 00:13:10,874 --> 00:13:12,000 There you are. 299 00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:13,627 Hmm. What are these? 300 00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,963 It's a set of rubber gaskets for canning jars. 301 00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:17,172 I'd rather have the bowl. 302 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:18,715 You can't have the bowl! 303 00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:22,719 Oscar Martinez, cheer or fear, 304 00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:25,722 belsnickel is here, ijudge your year 305 00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,810 as impish. Oscar: Ow! 306 00:13:29,893 --> 00:13:31,228 You hit people with that thing? 307 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:34,439 No, I'm carrying around a stick in order to look cool. 308 00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:36,066 Ooh! For the kinder. 309 00:13:36,233 --> 00:13:37,818 A mousetrap. 310 00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,903 Dwight: In a head-to-head contest, people prefer 311 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:42,030 belsnickel over Santa, every time. 312 00:13:42,114 --> 00:13:43,466 There aren't as many songs about him, 313 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:45,575 but I attribute that more to rhyming difficulties. 314 00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,036 My brother and I wrote one once. 315 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,621 It was about a fickle pickle salesman 316 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,248 who would tickle you for a nickel. 317 00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:54,418 (Giggling) 318 00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:55,728 Oh! You know what? I got to go. 319 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:56,920 Dwight: Stop giggling. 320 00:13:57,004 --> 00:13:58,338 Oh! Really? Already? Yeah. Sorry. 321 00:13:58,422 --> 00:14:00,257 It's a punishment. Hey, where are you going? 322 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,301 I have to go to Philly. But this was amazing. Okay? 323 00:14:03,385 --> 00:14:04,803 But you work tomorrow. 324 00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:06,906 Yeah, I know, I'd like to settle in, get a good night's sleep. 325 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,449 But we were going to break the pig rib. 326 00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:11,018 Oh! That's right. Remember? 327 00:14:12,728 --> 00:14:15,981 No matter! Belsnickel cares not about this. 328 00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:17,816 Off with you. Perfect. 329 00:14:17,899 --> 00:14:18,984 Merry Christmas, everybody. 330 00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:20,235 Wait, wait, wait, wait! 331 00:14:20,318 --> 00:14:22,195 Don't you want to know your present? 332 00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:24,114 You know what? Yeah. Have at it. 333 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:28,827 Jim Halpert, cheer or fear, belsnickel is here. 334 00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:31,121 I judge your year as impish. 335 00:14:32,122 --> 00:14:33,842 Oh! Are you nuts? Ow, ow! Ijudge you impish! 336 00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:36,626 Okay, that is three, and you didn't hit anybody that hard. 337 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:37,990 They're not abandoning the party. 338 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,548 That's enough! I'm done, okay? 339 00:14:42,090 --> 00:14:43,467 Impish! (Screams) 340 00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:47,554 Belsnickel, I've got to run out early, too. 341 00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,973 (All groan) 342 00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:53,185 Oh! What was that? 343 00:14:53,477 --> 00:14:56,521 Now I'm going to be all whipped for my first day of work. 344 00:14:57,689 --> 00:14:58,940 God. 345 00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:01,985 One second. 346 00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:06,031 Well, this is it. 347 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,880 I'm probably never going to see you again. 348 00:15:09,326 --> 00:15:10,636 Shut up, I'm trying to be serious. 349 00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:11,828 Okay, sorry, sorry. 350 00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:16,803 I can't believe this is actually happening. 351 00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:20,420 Listen, thank you so much for putting that all together. 352 00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:22,964 That was the perfect last Christmas party. 353 00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,844 All right, wish me luck. 354 00:15:30,055 --> 00:15:31,598 Good luck. You're going to be great. 355 00:15:31,681 --> 00:15:32,742 I'll call you when I get in. 356 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:34,059 Okay. All right. 357 00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:36,311 Loveyou! Loveyou! 358 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,073 (Indistinct chatter) 359 00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:06,550 (Elevator dings) 360 00:16:06,633 --> 00:16:08,385 What's going on? Party's over. 361 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:11,054 You quit on Christmas, Christmas quits on you. 362 00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:16,977 And guess what, kids? Belsnickel isn't real. 363 00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:18,854 It's me. Dwight! 364 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,236 Phyllis: We found some old decorations in the warehouse. 365 00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,864 Oscar ran to the store for some food and drink. 366 00:16:28,947 --> 00:16:31,032 And I dipped into my stash of eggnog. 367 00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:32,826 I guess they needed me after all. 368 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:34,661 It's like in it's a wonderful life, 369 00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:37,080 when Jimmy Stewart realizes that all those people 370 00:16:37,164 --> 00:16:40,750 at the building and loan are justjerks and he was the real hero. 371 00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:44,504 Kevin! Stop it! 372 00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:48,216 Oh! It sounds like the party's starting up out there. 373 00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:53,305 Yeah. So anyway, the entire jury wants me to vote guilty. 374 00:16:53,388 --> 00:16:55,515 But that night, I did a little research on my own, 375 00:16:55,599 --> 00:16:59,102 and forget everything you thought you knew about fingerprinting. 376 00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:01,730 Meredith is a little cute. 377 00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:04,065 I'm just realizing. 378 00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:06,193 She got, like, a Emma stone thing. 379 00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,584 (Sighs) 380 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:25,128 (Scoffs) 381 00:17:27,130 --> 00:17:29,716 For what it's worth, I liked your party better. 382 00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,885 Everyone thought the food was gross 383 00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:34,512 and that belsnickel was some darkly erotic freak. 384 00:17:35,847 --> 00:17:37,265 I don't think anyone thought that. 385 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:40,560 Jim couldn't even stay to the end of the party. 386 00:17:40,644 --> 00:17:42,896 Well, that didn't have anything to do with you. 387 00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:44,147 I don't care. 388 00:17:44,231 --> 00:17:46,191 Guess how much I care on a scale of one to 10. 389 00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:47,484 Zero. Damnh! 390 00:17:57,702 --> 00:18:00,247 I'm going to tell Jim to go (bleep) Himself. 391 00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:02,249 (Grunting) 392 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,836 Do you think Andy would everjump off 393 00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:08,880 an exploding building tied to a hose for me? 394 00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:13,510 Yeah. Definitely. 395 00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:19,683 (Sniffles) 396 00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:21,893 (Sniffles) What's... 397 00:18:22,352 --> 00:18:25,897 Oh, no. Come here. Hey, hey. Come on. 398 00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,406 I'm still Andy's girlfriend. 399 00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:36,533 Yeah, of course. I know. 400 00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:40,203 But you can leave your arm. 401 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:52,597 Dwight, do you want me to get you some eggnog? 402 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:55,302 No, thanks, I'll just have another dumatril. 403 00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:58,096 Jim taught me this really cool way to take it. 404 00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:00,473 You crush it into a powder, and you snort it up your butt. 405 00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:02,475 Yup, I did say that. 406 00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:04,060 Pam: Jim! 407 00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,579 What's going on? Where's the belsnickel? 408 00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:08,315 Ah! Oh, my god! 409 00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,609 What are you doing? 410 00:19:12,110 --> 00:19:14,297 The last time I saw you, you were whipping me out of the building. 411 00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:16,614 Shh. Let's not speak of that. 412 00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:20,285 The pig rib! We can totally break the pig rib! 413 00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:21,995 I'm going to dig it out of the trash! 414 00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:25,665 What happened? Did you miss your bus? 415 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:28,084 No, I just missed my wife. 416 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:31,338 I found it. 417 00:19:32,422 --> 00:19:34,382 And I found out that there's a bus at 5:00 am. 418 00:19:34,507 --> 00:19:36,343 (Cheering) 419 00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:44,768 (All chanting) 420 00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:46,269 All: Oh! 421 00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:49,814 Dwight: Damn it! 422 00:19:50,607 --> 00:19:52,442 Jim got the bigger half. 423 00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,152 (All cheering) 424 00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:55,779 Back for more, huh? 425 00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:58,531 Jim: Nog it! I'm going to get some nog. 426 00:19:58,615 --> 00:20:00,408 (Indistinct chattering) 427 00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:06,664 You! 428 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,875 Hey, man! You know what? 429 00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:11,544 Before I forget again, I talked to the guys about hiring you. 430 00:20:11,628 --> 00:20:13,468 They're going to bring you in for an interview. 431 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,180 That's great! 432 00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:23,723 Right? 433 00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:25,683 Thanks, man. Yeah, of course. 434 00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:29,604 (Sighs) I shall come by at your convenience. 435 00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:31,898 Thank you, sir. 436 00:20:32,482 --> 00:20:34,109 Go get 'em! Oh! 437 00:20:34,192 --> 00:20:35,652 All: Oh! 438 00:20:36,194 --> 00:20:38,279 (All gasp) 439 00:20:40,115 --> 00:20:41,533 Very impish. 440 00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:53,503 Toby: Two dimes, seven nickels and one, well, okay. 441 00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:56,589 No, that doesn't add up. It was one quarter and... shh! 442 00:20:58,299 --> 00:21:00,593 What? I was just explaining... what? Shh. 443 00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:02,178 Butwhy would... shh. 444 00:21:02,846 --> 00:21:04,406 (Whispers) What are you doing? Why? Shh. 445 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:07,517 (Whispers) No more talking. 446 00:21:08,852 --> 00:21:10,854 Are you going to kiss me? 447 00:21:11,438 --> 00:21:12,856 Yes.