1 00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:15,600 Hey, I feel so lucky we're in the same city for Valentine's day. 2 00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:17,059 It's like magic. 3 00:00:17,143 --> 00:00:18,787 Or it's like me getting on my hands and knees 4 00:00:18,811 --> 00:00:21,439 and begging my partners to switch a Tuesday for a Thursday. 5 00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:22,940 Alakazam. 6 00:00:23,274 --> 00:00:25,234 By the way, they do need an extra day next week. 7 00:00:25,568 --> 00:00:27,570 And poof, he disappears. 8 00:00:29,322 --> 00:00:31,991 Hey. Want to play hookytoday? 9 00:00:32,074 --> 00:00:34,452 Maybe. What do you got in mind? 10 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:35,870 We can do anything you want. 11 00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,330 I really want to have fun today, 12 00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:40,166 because tomorrow is going to be a nightmare. 13 00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:43,836 Andy's coming back from his stupid, dumb boat trip. 14 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,172 He's been rude, he's been selfish, 15 00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:49,467 I think he's a big jerk, and I'm breaking up with him. 16 00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,969 Bam, Andy! How do you like me now? 17 00:00:54,305 --> 00:00:55,556 I hope as a friend. 18 00:00:56,182 --> 00:00:59,685 Erin says she's gonna break up with Andy, but I'm not sure. 19 00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:02,271 He's coming back tomorrow, and surprise, 20 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,398 today she wants to do whatever I'd like. 21 00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,680 You know, when I was a kid we had a dog who got real sick, 22 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:10,363 and we had to send him to a farm. 23 00:01:10,947 --> 00:01:14,617 And on his last day, we did everything he loved. 24 00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:18,746 (Chuckles) 25 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,998 Want to play catch in the parking lot? 26 00:01:22,792 --> 00:01:24,377 Sure. Great. 27 00:01:24,460 --> 00:01:26,254 Get my coat. Perfect. 28 00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:29,882 Come in. 29 00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,944 Andy, hi, I just made another huge sale 30 00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:33,469 for the company that you manage, 31 00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:35,638 so I need you to authorize that expense report 32 00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:37,390 and sign off on that contract. 33 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,308 I would be happy to. 34 00:01:39,392 --> 00:01:41,686 It would be my pleasure, Mr. Schrute. 35 00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:45,439 (Vocalizes melody) 36 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:46,941 I really like Andy these days. 37 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:49,819 He's pretend, and he does exactly as I tell him to. 38 00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:52,863 All that will change when real Andy comes back tomorrow. 39 00:01:53,698 --> 00:01:56,117 Unless he comes back as pretend Dwight. 40 00:01:56,742 --> 00:02:01,664 In which case, we're in for an epic, confusing showdown. 41 00:02:03,374 --> 00:02:06,252 Kevin: Andy left a carton of milk in the fridge, 42 00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:08,504 so I've been sneaking a little bit 43 00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:10,798 every day for the last three months. 44 00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:12,049 It's been yummy. 45 00:02:12,842 --> 00:02:15,344 But now Andy's coming back. 46 00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:20,850 So, I guess it's goodbye, chunky lemon milk. 47 00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:23,728 Okay, I'll say it. 48 00:02:24,562 --> 00:02:27,106 I wish Andy had stayed on his trip. 49 00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:30,860 I say we all have one last fun, boss-less day. 50 00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,612 Yeah, let's get some booze and some cocaine 51 00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:36,073 and just blow it out, no consequences. 52 00:02:36,157 --> 00:02:37,199 Orthe mini-mall. 53 00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:39,410 They have all these Valentine day deals. 54 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,537 And you get 20% off if you come in 55 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,748 with your husband or your boyfriend. 56 00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:46,167 But I mean, if you don't have one of those, 57 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,085 you can probably just bring whoever 58 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:50,087 it is you use to kill your loneliness. 59 00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:52,692 Phyll, I'll pretend to be your husband. 60 00:02:52,757 --> 00:02:55,259 I'm already sick of you, so it'll seem realistic. 61 00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:59,388 Oh. They have a nail salon there where I get my feet detailed. 62 00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:02,141 They use a watch repair kit. 63 00:03:03,142 --> 00:03:04,268 I'll be your foot buddy. 64 00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:06,896 Everyone, it is our last day here with no manager. 65 00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:08,647 I say we go to the mini-mall. 66 00:03:08,731 --> 00:03:11,442 Clark, you will be my fake boyfriend so I can get the discount. 67 00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:12,610 That's what I do. 68 00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:14,612 Phyllis: Let's do it. 69 00:03:17,990 --> 00:03:19,825 Darryl, everyone seems to be pairing off. 70 00:03:19,909 --> 00:03:22,029 Do you want to pretend to be a couple so we get the... 71 00:03:23,621 --> 00:03:26,749 Yes. Yes. Why wouldn't I? 72 00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:29,668 I wanna pretend to be gay. I got no problem with that. 73 00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:32,033 All right, it'll be easy. Don't be nervous, just follow... 74 00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:34,173 Stop talking about it. I said I'm fine with it. 75 00:03:35,508 --> 00:03:37,343 These are gross. They are terrible. 76 00:03:38,302 --> 00:03:40,054 Hey, don't fill up on chocolates. 77 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,556 I made us a lunch reservation at state street grill. 78 00:03:43,099 --> 00:03:45,267 Oh, my god. That's so romantic. 79 00:03:45,476 --> 00:03:46,685 It's with Brian and Alyssa. 80 00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:49,146 Oh, my god. That's less romantic. 81 00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:51,941 I know, but we should go. 82 00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:54,819 We need to thank him for, you know, saving my life. 83 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:57,196 Yeah, yeah, no, totally. That's good. 84 00:03:59,365 --> 00:04:03,369 So should we just get a bottle of wine later and celebrate? 85 00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:04,787 That sounds nice. 86 00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:06,831 Jim: I'm very excited to see Brian. 87 00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:09,708 Brian's a great guy, and Pam and I have gotten really close 88 00:04:09,792 --> 00:04:12,336 to he and his wife Alyssa over the years, and... 89 00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:15,214 He got fired for protecting my wife from a jerk in the warehouse. 90 00:04:16,715 --> 00:04:19,427 I'm sorry, but you know him. He's a good guy. 91 00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:25,766 Tiny foot lady is back. 92 00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:27,268 Get the baby clipper. 93 00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:30,980 (All clamoring in foreign language) 94 00:04:34,692 --> 00:04:36,277 You take off your glasses. 95 00:04:37,111 --> 00:04:38,112 Okay. 96 00:04:39,697 --> 00:04:40,865 (Giggles) 97 00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:43,284 What? 98 00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:45,953 Your boyfriend. He look like a pretty girl. 99 00:04:46,579 --> 00:04:49,415 My boyfriend does look like a pretty girl, doesn't he? 100 00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,000 Yes, a very little pretty girl. 101 00:04:51,584 --> 00:04:53,461 And you know what? I think you are developing. 102 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:55,546 We should go and get you a training bra. 103 00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,592 You guys both think this is funny? 104 00:05:00,551 --> 00:05:03,387 Well, you know what? No more discount. 105 00:05:03,888 --> 00:05:05,473 Excuse me! What? Shush! 106 00:05:05,556 --> 00:05:07,016 Full price. We're not together. 107 00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,559 Come on. 108 00:05:08,893 --> 00:05:10,102 She's living a lie. 109 00:05:11,020 --> 00:05:13,939 Turns out I can't even be in a pretend relationship. 110 00:05:14,565 --> 00:05:17,568 Hi. We'd like the couples discount on a pair of foot massages. 111 00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:20,237 No, no discount for two men. 112 00:05:20,738 --> 00:05:22,156 Two men are not a couple. 113 00:05:22,907 --> 00:05:24,783 We are together, romantically. 114 00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:26,410 Two men. 115 00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:28,329 (Speaking foreign language) 116 00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,667 Doesn't work. No discount. 117 00:05:33,751 --> 00:05:35,169 It works. 118 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,589 Him and me, all right, we are crazy in love. 119 00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:41,842 More in love than your small mind can comprehend. 120 00:05:41,926 --> 00:05:45,221 And we have two disposable incomes and no kids, 121 00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:46,931 and we're taking our business elsewhere. 122 00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:58,943 Hey. Hey, Brian. 123 00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:00,110 Hey. 124 00:06:00,611 --> 00:06:01,612 Sorry we're late. 125 00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:04,782 No problem. I finished all the bread. 126 00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:07,451 (Laughs) Yeah, okay. 127 00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:08,536 What? 128 00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:10,287 He's on a no-carb thing, supposedly. 129 00:06:11,038 --> 00:06:13,040 It's great to see you guys. Thanks for coming. 130 00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:14,123 Yeah. Are you kidding? 131 00:06:14,166 --> 00:06:15,251 Thank you, man, I mean, 132 00:06:15,334 --> 00:06:17,211 I've wanted the opportunity to say thanks for 133 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,089 everything, and I'm really sorry about the job. 134 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,632 That just seems crazy. 135 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:22,984 It's fine. What are you gonna do? 136 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:26,011 But if you guys know of any work, I'm fully available. 137 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:27,972 Well, my dad can't hear a thing. 138 00:06:28,097 --> 00:06:29,598 You could boom his whole life for him. 139 00:06:29,682 --> 00:06:32,184 Okay, great. Does he pay well? 140 00:06:33,185 --> 00:06:34,228 Where's Alyssa? 141 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:38,983 You know, Alyssa's... she's not gonna make it today. 142 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:42,570 Actually, we're not gonna make it. 143 00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:45,614 We're splitting up. 144 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:51,537 I have yet another sales order for you to sign. 145 00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:54,873 Why, thank you, Mr. Schrute. I don't know how you do it. 146 00:06:55,124 --> 00:06:56,333 You're a god. 147 00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:59,253 (Vocalizes melody) 148 00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:01,505 Hi, Dwight. 149 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:03,757 You're back. 150 00:07:05,175 --> 00:07:06,218 And you're disgusting. 151 00:07:11,098 --> 00:07:13,601 Jeez. My nails aren't dry yet. 152 00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:16,186 I don't think I can work for at least a couple hours. 153 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,856 Well, well, well, look who it is. 154 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,441 Andy. I guess I can cancel 155 00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:24,820 my order from zappos. Com because the loafers have arrived. 156 00:07:25,029 --> 00:07:26,030 Andy. 157 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:27,197 Hey! Sweetheart! 158 00:07:27,740 --> 00:07:29,867 I missed you so much. 159 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:33,579 Yes. Welcome back, buddy. 160 00:07:34,705 --> 00:07:36,290 I have been dreaming of this moment. 161 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:39,209 Me, too. So much. I'm so happy. 162 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:42,171 I am really, really bad at breakups. 163 00:07:42,630 --> 00:07:45,132 Technically, I'm still dating my first-grade boyfriend. 164 00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,051 I mean, we just had our 20th anniversary. 165 00:07:47,468 --> 00:07:49,219 And I forgot to get him something. 166 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,073 What happened? We thought you were coming back tomorrow. 167 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:56,560 Well, Valentine's surprise for Erin. Hello. Super romantic. 168 00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,187 And I got you something. 169 00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:00,397 It's a couple of pieces of bamboo, big deal, right? 170 00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:02,733 No, these are musical instruments. 171 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:04,568 It's so we can play island music together. 172 00:08:04,777 --> 00:08:06,862 'Cause I have this. 173 00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:10,699 Clop the cloppers. 174 00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:13,327 Yeah, clop 'em. It's called bembe. 175 00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,330 (Sings in foreign language) 176 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,499 (Sings along) 177 00:08:21,877 --> 00:08:24,338 Hey, burning man, if it's not selling out too much, 178 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:25,839 you mightwanna throw on a tie. 179 00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:27,925 David Wallace is gonna be here in an hour. 180 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:30,094 Obviously, that's why I'm here. 181 00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,097 I mean, I came back early to surprise Erin. 182 00:08:33,389 --> 00:08:34,848 Happy Valentine's day, sweetheart. 183 00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:38,286 But I'm just saying I'm also excited about the Wallace meeting. 184 00:08:38,310 --> 00:08:39,895 Why? Isn't hejust coming in to rip you 185 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,605 a new one for being gone three months? 186 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,357 No, please, come on, Clark. 187 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,800 Wallace knows that he's been gone for the last three months. 188 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,028 Right? 189 00:08:48,112 --> 00:08:51,740 Wallace does know that you've been gone for the last three months? 190 00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:54,576 I have no idea. I don't know what he knows or doesn't know. 191 00:08:55,119 --> 00:08:56,262 But we've been in touch the whole time. 192 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:57,955 I mean, it's not hard to get high-speed 193 00:08:58,080 --> 00:08:59,790 Internet in Turks and Caicos, people. 194 00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:01,792 It's in every bembe cafe. 195 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:04,628 He only e-mailed me four times. 196 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,089 Question. Where's Jim? 197 00:09:07,423 --> 00:09:09,633 He and Pam are having their Valentine's day lunch. 198 00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:11,051 For two hours, really? 199 00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:12,845 So, you're concerned 200 00:09:12,928 --> 00:09:15,973 about peoples' long absence from their place of work. 201 00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:17,474 If the shoe fits... 202 00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,393 (Continues singing) 203 00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:23,856 We were telling two different versions of the same story, 204 00:09:23,939 --> 00:09:26,024 and then everything just went numb. 205 00:09:26,108 --> 00:09:29,278 Well, I mean, that's okay. It doesn't mean that it's over, right? 206 00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:30,738 I mean, couples fight. 207 00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:31,881 Yeah, and that's the thing. 208 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,073 When we were fighting, 209 00:09:33,157 --> 00:09:35,277 it weirdly felt like the relationship was still alive. 210 00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:39,955 And itwasn't until we stopped fighting that we realized it was over. 211 00:09:42,207 --> 00:09:43,459 It's over. 212 00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:49,047 I'm sorry, this is... Oh, my god, okay. 213 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,592 We have to stop seeing each other like this. 214 00:09:51,675 --> 00:09:53,594 We have to find a different way to communicate 215 00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:55,557 other than breaking down in front of each other. 216 00:09:56,472 --> 00:09:58,223 Yeah. What? 217 00:09:58,307 --> 00:10:01,101 At least my crying won't get you fired. 218 00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:06,023 Crying? 219 00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:11,528 Inoficethatyoulanded the Scranton white pages account 220 00:10:11,612 --> 00:10:12,696 that is tremendous. 221 00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:13,864 Thank you. 222 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,200 And you sold it to jan, too, I mean... yes. 223 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,911 I'm impressed. Yeah. 224 00:10:19,203 --> 00:10:20,370 Well, there's one problem. 225 00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,557 Couldn't help but notice that you offered a price point 226 00:10:22,581 --> 00:10:24,583 that was not approved by the head office. 227 00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:27,544 So, gotta run that stuff by me, Dwight. 228 00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:28,879 You were on a boat. 229 00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:30,464 I was... 230 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:33,217 On a boat in the ocean. 231 00:10:33,300 --> 00:10:35,886 Okay, the issue is that you need to run this stuff by me. 232 00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:37,679 Coolio? 233 00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:39,681 Are we coolio? 234 00:10:41,016 --> 00:10:43,018 Just say the word "coolio." I'm not gonna say it. 235 00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,102 Say it. Not a word. 236 00:10:44,186 --> 00:10:45,187 Coolio. No. 237 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:46,790 (Dial tone on speakerphone) 238 00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:47,874 What do you think you're doing? 239 00:10:47,898 --> 00:10:50,376 Just gonna call the Scranton white pages and clear this right up. 240 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,860 Don't you dare, Andy. 241 00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:54,488 Jan: Hello? Hey, jan. Nard dog here. 242 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:55,572 Hi, Andy. 243 00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:56,925 I was just looking over the papenivork. 244 00:10:56,949 --> 00:10:58,229 I found a little hiccup. Really? 245 00:10:58,283 --> 00:11:00,452 Yeah, it appears my employee offered you 246 00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:02,746 a price that he was not authorized to. 247 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,248 Coolio. 248 00:11:04,331 --> 00:11:05,767 Seriously? You're calling me a few weeks 249 00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:08,502 after finalizing our contract to gouge me now for more money? 250 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,271 Is that what you're doing? Coolio. I'm coolio. 251 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:13,423 No, no, no, jan, I think you misunderstood. Yeah. 252 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,925 Wsadumw justanissue_. 253 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:16,635 You know what, nard dog? 254 00:11:16,718 --> 00:11:19,179 There is an option in the contract 255 00:11:19,263 --> 00:11:22,349 that allows me to back out within 30 days of signing, 256 00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:25,018 so I would like to exercise that option. 257 00:11:25,269 --> 00:11:27,271 No, jan, please do not listen to this boob! 258 00:11:27,479 --> 00:11:29,982 Remember Clark. He gave you everything. Everything. 259 00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:31,584 Jan, I don't know what he's talking about, but... 260 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,360 Tell Angela to send me a final invoice. 261 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:34,528 (Stammers) 262 00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,821 Please, jan... 263 00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:40,826 That was not 264 00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,996 how I had hoped that would go. 265 00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,043 Hey, everybody. Greatjob. 266 00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:53,589 Listen, we're a smidge behind on my paychecks. 267 00:11:54,298 --> 00:11:56,925 Yes, well, as you know, we get paid on Fridays. 268 00:11:57,342 --> 00:12:00,012 And you haven't been here for 12 Fridays. 269 00:12:00,429 --> 00:12:02,347 All right. Thank you very much. 270 00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,099 Looking good. 271 00:12:05,434 --> 00:12:06,602 Who's that little fellow? 272 00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:09,938 It's a bonus check for you from Wallace. 273 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:13,358 Because the branch exceeded its targets over the past quarter. 274 00:12:13,734 --> 00:12:15,319 Wow, that's wonderful. 275 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,463 Quarter's three months. That's how long you've been gone. 276 00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,072 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 277 00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:22,576 Mm-hmm. 278 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,453 Thank you. 279 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,080 Great, well, we're all up to speed. 280 00:12:33,211 --> 00:12:34,796 Two seconds of the turd dog, 281 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,090 and he loses the biggest sale this branch has ever seen. 282 00:12:37,549 --> 00:12:40,594 Do you have any idea what I had to do to get that sale from jan? 283 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:42,429 I mean, iwent all out. 284 00:12:42,512 --> 00:12:45,974 All out. I mean like everything was out the whole week. 285 00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:50,479 He just waltzes back in here like he owns the chunky lemon milk. 286 00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:52,105 Who needs him, right? 287 00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:54,566 God, I just don't know what we do. 288 00:12:55,025 --> 00:12:56,818 I mean, short of telling David Wallace 289 00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,779 that he was gone for three months. 290 00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,238 I'd like to rat out Andy, 291 00:13:00,322 --> 00:13:01,602 but unfortunately I have a bit of 292 00:13:01,657 --> 00:13:04,117 a "boy who cried wolf" dynamic with David Wallace. 293 00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:06,495 Except instead of a boy I'm a man, 294 00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:09,247 and instead of a wolf, I cried, 295 00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,833 "genetically-engineered monster wolf." 296 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:16,630 I'm not gonna rat on him. Andy gave me a second chance. 297 00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,913 So the least I could do is let somebody else rat on him. 298 00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:20,717 Meredith, why don't you? 299 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:23,637 Meredith Palmer ain't never been called no narc. 300 00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:25,889 Floozy? Yes. Alkie? Check. 301 00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:27,724 Einstein sarcastically? You bet. 302 00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,601 But never no narc. 303 00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:32,187 Vomit mop? Sure. Floor meat? That's me. 304 00:13:32,270 --> 00:13:33,480 Hey... flesh hoover? Hi. 305 00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,315 Meredith, that's plenty. 306 00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:37,442 All right? That's more than plenty. 307 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:39,611 Why does no one stop her? 308 00:13:39,695 --> 00:13:42,781 Guys, I know that a lot of people are mad at Andy, 309 00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:44,157 and believe me, I am, too. 310 00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:48,453 But he has been through a lot, and we all used to love him, right? 311 00:13:48,537 --> 00:13:50,038 So, if he's gonna get in trouble, 312 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,665 just let it be his fault, not ours. 313 00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,709 I don't want that on my hands. 314 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,127 Dwight: Fine. 315 00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:57,671 The state he's in, Wallace will take one look at him 316 00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,589 and probably fire him anyway. 317 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:04,845 What's going on in here, dirty players? 318 00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:08,390 Let's get back to busting some paper rhymes. 319 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:09,683 Come on. 320 00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,977 Who's that girl? 321 00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,563 Who's that girl? 322 00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:15,772 It's Andy. 323 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,444 All right. Back to work. 324 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,909 Okay, I can tell you're mad at me. 325 00:14:27,993 --> 00:14:31,038 Do you want to just, I don't know, tell me why? 326 00:14:33,623 --> 00:14:35,125 I don't know. 327 00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:39,546 I thought that was a little weird. 328 00:14:40,297 --> 00:14:43,341 You told me Brian got fired for the whole warehouse thing. 329 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:48,972 And you intentionally left out a kind of major intimate detail. 330 00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:53,060 I don't know, Pam, I guess I just feel like a chump 331 00:14:53,310 --> 00:14:55,812 who knows less about his marriage than the sound guy. 332 00:14:56,396 --> 00:14:58,482 I didn't tell you about the crying because 333 00:14:58,648 --> 00:15:00,776 I didn't want you to know how upset I was. 334 00:15:01,193 --> 00:15:03,111 Becauseit would've stressed you out, 335 00:15:03,195 --> 00:15:06,156 and you're always saying how much you don't want more stress. 336 00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:09,076 Yeah, well, yeah, okay. Well, then thank you. 337 00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:11,828 Thanks to both of you. 338 00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:14,265 It's not Brian's fault. No, you're right. 339 00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:16,041 And I'm not mad at Brian. 340 00:15:16,208 --> 00:15:18,478 And to be honest, I probably don't have any reason to be mad at all 341 00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:19,836 because I wasn't there. 342 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,922 So let's just forget about it. 343 00:15:22,631 --> 00:15:23,632 Okay. 344 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,488 I need you guys to tell me all the highlights 345 00:15:28,512 --> 00:15:31,181 from the last three months in case David asks. 346 00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:34,184 Just a few things I could sprinkle into conversation. 347 00:15:34,518 --> 00:15:36,645 Any big sales or office gossip? 348 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:39,689 Well, we had the Scranton white pages. 349 00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,566 Not helpful. Let's stay positive, people. 350 00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:42,859 Oka? Hey, guys. Y 351 00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:45,195 hey, David, how are you? 352 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:49,074 We were just having our weekly round table where we motivate each other. 353 00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:51,451 I'm not gonna lie. I get as much out of it as they do. 354 00:15:51,535 --> 00:15:53,078 Sounds great. Don't let me interrupt. 355 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:55,201 Whatever you guys have been doing this last quarter, 356 00:15:55,247 --> 00:15:56,349 I couldn't be happier with the numbers. 357 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:57,415 Thank you. 358 00:15:57,499 --> 00:15:59,126 Well, finish up. I'm gonna meet with val 359 00:15:59,209 --> 00:16:00,686 about that warehouse guy you had to let go, 360 00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:02,188 and you and I will talk in 15 minutes? 361 00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:04,548 Great. Great job, everybody! 362 00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:06,853 (Quietly) We had to let a warehouse guy go? 363 00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:09,594 You know Pam's mural? Well, frank... 364 00:16:09,678 --> 00:16:13,223 Lit the whole thing on fire. It was crazy. 365 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,641 What? Dwight: Yeah. 366 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:15,868 There was a fire in the warehouse? 367 00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:17,435 The whole thing is in ashes. 368 00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:20,480 Whoa. Fire department was here. It was in all the papers. 369 00:16:20,564 --> 00:16:22,315 Andy: This is what I'm talking about. 370 00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:24,901 This would be good to know. All right, what else? 371 00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:27,487 We started selling balloons. 372 00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:28,780 Yeah. What? 373 00:16:28,864 --> 00:16:32,826 And, Kathy Ireland signed on as the official spokesbabe of dunder Mifflin. 374 00:16:32,909 --> 00:16:33,910 No kidding. 375 00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:36,180 Yeah, in the European billboards, she's gonna be topless. 376 00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:39,332 Wow. Go, Kathy. She's like 50. 377 00:16:39,416 --> 00:16:40,542 They're tasteful. 378 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:41,835 Good, good. What else? 379 00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:46,214 And who knew the balloon game would be so lucrative? 380 00:16:46,298 --> 00:16:48,800 And thank god, right? We needed the income after the fire. 381 00:16:49,593 --> 00:16:50,594 What fire? 382 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:53,346 The warehouse fire. Weren't you just down there? 383 00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:55,432 It's like burnt to ashes. 384 00:16:55,891 --> 00:16:57,267 It looked fine to me. 385 00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:04,482 I am speaking metaphorically, of course. 386 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:08,778 You know I have lots of irons in the "fire." 387 00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:11,156 Well, that's one of them, you know. 388 00:17:11,406 --> 00:17:14,534 Making sure that the warehouse logistics 389 00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:17,787 is a well-oiled, properly-stoked fire. 390 00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:19,622 Okay. 391 00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:22,042 Think you'll agree I explained that pretty well. 392 00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:24,544 Thanks, Andy. Thank you. 393 00:17:24,628 --> 00:17:26,087 All right. Everyone. 394 00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:38,516 The fish sounds great. 395 00:17:38,642 --> 00:17:39,768 Yeah, I guess. 396 00:17:39,935 --> 00:17:42,145 Really playing the scales, huh? 397 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:45,023 Yeah, I don't know. It just sort of sounds like noise to me now. 398 00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:47,251 You think I need a new fish? I don't love you anymore. 399 00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:48,568 What? I still like you. 400 00:17:48,652 --> 00:17:51,112 But you were gone a really long time, 401 00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:53,406 and you didn't really e-mail me all that much. 402 00:17:53,490 --> 00:17:56,201 You re-tweeted me a lot, to be fair. 403 00:17:57,369 --> 00:17:58,536 But I don't love you. 404 00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:00,163 Okay, I get it. 405 00:18:00,247 --> 00:18:02,332 You're unhappy. I've been gone a long time, 406 00:18:02,457 --> 00:18:04,501 and we lost a little bit ofjuju, 407 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,378 but you and me, we have a future. 408 00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:08,338 There is a lot of love here. 409 00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,090 I just said there isn't love. 410 00:18:10,173 --> 00:18:11,549 On your side. 411 00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:15,178 But there's tons on my side. It's gushing. 412 00:18:15,512 --> 00:18:17,013 We're just out of sync right now. 413 00:18:17,138 --> 00:18:19,641 But that's just timing, and what's timing? 414 00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:21,601 I mean, my parents lasted 38, 40 years. 415 00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:23,603 They were never happy at the same time. 416 00:18:24,145 --> 00:18:25,230 I guess. 417 00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:29,859 I mean, what do we have left? Thirty-five, maybe 40 years, if we're lucky? 418 00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:31,861 I mean, I have spent a lot of time in the sun. 419 00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:33,154 You got really sunburned. 420 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,615 I'm gonna be a prune in, like, three years. Ugh. 421 00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:39,577 I know you may not be feeling love for me right now, 422 00:18:39,661 --> 00:18:42,706 but if you fake it, I won't be able to tell the difference. 423 00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:45,041 So I'll feel good. 424 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:49,838 And then eventually, maybe, you'll actually start to love me again. 425 00:18:50,088 --> 00:18:52,632 You really think we can get that back? Yes. 426 00:18:55,719 --> 00:18:56,886 Come on. 427 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:58,972 Totally. 428 00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:10,859 You know what? Maybe we should cancel that bottle of wine tonight. 429 00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:12,402 Oh? 430 00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:15,822 Yeah, I just feel like I got a bunch of stuff to do in Philly, 431 00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:18,116 and I'm sure you have stuff to do, so we can just... 432 00:19:19,034 --> 00:19:20,785 Drop me at the bus station? 433 00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:23,413 Are you sure? 434 00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,498 I just feel like we're gonna fight. 435 00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,250 Yeah. 436 00:19:30,045 --> 00:19:31,046 How about let's not? 437 00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:32,213 Okay. 438 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:36,885 Oh, um... 439 00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:41,598 Happy Valentine's day. 440 00:19:42,599 --> 00:19:44,684 Sorry. I didn't have time to wrap it. 441 00:19:50,023 --> 00:19:51,107 Wow. 442 00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:53,026 I didn't know you kept this. 443 00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:54,277 Yeah. Yeah. 444 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,321 Thank you. Nopmmem. 445 00:20:02,494 --> 00:20:04,294 I don't think you should go to Philly tonight. 446 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,624 I think that you should stay, and I think we should fight. 447 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,211 You really want to fight on Valentine's day? 448 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:13,505 Yeah, I do. 449 00:20:17,133 --> 00:20:18,259 Okay. 450 00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:21,054 All right, put your Dukes up, beesly. 451 00:20:28,311 --> 00:20:29,396 Hey, you okay? 452 00:20:30,855 --> 00:20:32,107 I couldn't do it. 453 00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:36,444 I'm sorry. 454 00:20:37,112 --> 00:20:38,613 You don't have to apologize. 455 00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:42,409 I just want you to be happy, okay? 456 00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:01,678 We're breaking up. 457 00:21:04,556 --> 00:21:07,934 And just so you know, I was worried that you were dead. 458 00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,854 You were gone for three months. 459 00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:17,277 David on phone: Andy? David. Still here. 460 00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:20,613 What was that about three months?