﻿1
00:00:03,169 --> 00:00:07,007
CHORUS:
<i>♪ The Simpsons ♪</i>

2
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(theme music playing)

3
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D'oh. (screams)

4
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-(all grunt)
-(laughs)

5
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Look, Dad, they've got
every kind of paper...

6
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{\an8}loose-leaf, graph, unlined... (gasps)

7
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{\an8}college-ruled.

8
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{\an8}Can't you just
write on your arm like I do?

9
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(humming)

10
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{\an8}All you're getting
is rubber bands and paper clips?

11
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{\an8}-Don't you need a notebook or something?
-Nah.

12
00:00:47,505 --> 00:00:49,632
{\an8}These days,
everything's done on computers.

13
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{\an8}And staplers. Computers and staplers.

14
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(growling)

15
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{\an8}Krusty's Speak and Say?

16
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{\an8}<i>"S" is for </i>"shiksa."

17
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{\an8}<i>S-H-I, uh...</i>

18
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{\an8}<i>I think there's a "T" in there somewhere.</i>

19
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{\an8}<i>Ah, look it up.</i>

20
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{\an8}(gasps) Lisa! Stay cool, Milly.

21
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(grunts)

22
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{\an8}Oh, hi, Lisa.

23
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,585
{\an8}Did you have a nice summer?

24
00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:29,672
{\an8}Don't you hate that we have to go back
to stupid school tomorrow?

25
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{\an8}I like school.

26
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{\an8}Uh, me, too!

27
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{\an8}We have so much in common.

28
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{\an8}You have a pen glued to your cowlick.

29
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{\an8}If you don't like it, it's gone.

30
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{\an8}(grunts)

31
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{\an8}Uh... you want this?

32
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{\an8}No.

33
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{\an8}Yo, Apu, give me the usual.

34
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{\an8}(Indian accent) Yes, sir.

35
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{\an8}One kwik-e-dog, one bubble gum cigar,

36
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and the latest issue of <i>Success </i>magazine.

37
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{\an8}Mmm. Hey, this hot dog tastes different.

38
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Yes, I just cleaned out the machine, sir,

39
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so the snack you are enjoying
has not been soaking in putrid grease.

40
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Yeah, but... without the grease
all you can taste is the hog anus.

41
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I'm so sorry, but I sold it all
to the rendering plant.

42
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People buy grease?

43
00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:19,639
Oh, yes. They use it to make products
such as soap, cosmetics, baby food...

44
00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:22,475
Used grease is worth money? (gasps)

45
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:25,395
Then my arteries are clogged
with yellow gold!

46
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:27,480
I'm rich, Apu! Rich, I--

47
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(chokes)

48
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(sighs)

49
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Money in the bank.

50
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Okay, this bacon's done.

51
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And now for the profit taking.

52
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(chuckling)

53
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Uh, Dad, I don't think the dog
can handle any more bacon.

54
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(whimpers)

55
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HOMER: Looks like he's about ready
for another squeezin'.

56
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Homer, that side of bacon
was for my bridge game tonight.

57
00:02:56,342 --> 00:02:58,887
Marge, if you don't mind,
I'm a little busy right now

58
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:00,555
achieving financial independence.

59
00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:02,140
With cans of grease?

60
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(sarcastically) No.
Through savings and wise investments.

61
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Of course, with grease.

62
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-(vehicles brakes)
-Come on, Bart, the bus is here.

63
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-Where do you think you are going?
-(grunts)

64
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-It's the first day of school.
-Not for you, it isn't.

65
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,738
You're in the grease business now.

66
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Then the doctor told me
that <i>both </i>my eyes were lazy,

67
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and that's why
it was the best summer ever.

68
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Thank you, Ralph.

69
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:26,706
Now take your seat.

70
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NELSON: Hey, Blindy, have a nice trip!

71
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(screams)

72
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SKINNER (over speaker): <i>Attention, please,</i>
<i>I need a volunteer for a thankless chore.</i>

73
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<i>Shall I assume the only hand</i>
<i>in the air is Lisa Simpson's?</i>

74
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<i>Thank you, Lisa.</i>

75
00:03:44,849 --> 00:03:46,226
We have a new student, Lisa,

76
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and I want you to show her the works,

77
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,979
the lunchroom, the tree...

78
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:54,150
but when you get to the trophy case,
give her some cock-and-bull story.

79
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They're... out for cleaning, or whatever.

80
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Don't worry. I'll help her out.

81
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I remember how hard it was
to be an outsider.

82
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Always trying to fit in,
never quite feeling like--

83
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Lisa, I'd like you to meet Alex Whitney.

84
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:07,622
Your name's Lisa?

85
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Shut up. I love that name!

86
00:04:09,999 --> 00:04:11,584
Did she just tell me to shut up?

87
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:12,585
Take it outside.

88
00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:16,965
You want a locker in this hallway.

89
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,299
It's library-adjacent.

90
00:04:19,509 --> 00:04:20,718
Is that perfume?

91
00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:23,137
Oh... (giggles) don't be such a Phoebe.

92
00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,847
It's Pretension, by Calvin Klein.

93
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:25,765
Want to try some?

94
00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:27,850
(coughing) Mm-mm.

95
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:31,521
'Kay, so what's the haps in Springfield?
What do you guys, like, do for fun?

96
00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:34,565
Well, you'll definitely want
to get yourself a good doll.

97
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:38,069
The new Malibu Stacy
has an achievable chest.

98
00:04:38,152 --> 00:04:39,195
Dolls? Really?

99
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:40,780
Okay, what else you got?

100
00:04:40,863 --> 00:04:43,157
Oh, Jacks. Jacks are big.

101
00:04:43,241 --> 00:04:46,494
They went out for a while
but then they came roaring back.

102
00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:49,747
Oh, you mean that game
with the little rubber ball?

103
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,791
Oh, don't worry. You'll pick it up fast.

104
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Once you get to foursies,
you're in the zone.

105
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Uh-huh.

106
00:04:56,462 --> 00:04:59,007
Isn't that trophy case
supposed to have trophies?

107
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Uh, they were all wiped out
in the big trophy fire.

108
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,972
Ah, I see the trophies
are still out for cleaning.

109
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-Eh, Lisa? (laughs)
-(chuckling nervously)

110
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Okay, boy, this is where
all the hard work,

111
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sacrifice, and painful scoldings pay off.

112
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Four pounds of grease...

113
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:26,284
that comes to... 63 cents.

114
00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:27,368
Whoo-hoo!

115
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:30,538
Dad, all that bacon cost $27.

116
00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:33,583
Yeah, but your mom paid for that.

117
00:05:33,666 --> 00:05:37,337
-But doesn't she get her money from you?
-And I get my money from grease.

118
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,629
What's the problem?

119
00:05:40,715 --> 00:05:43,926
Wow. Look at that load of grease.

120
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:48,723
Boy, if we're ever gonna earn paper money
we have to expand our operation.

121
00:05:48,806 --> 00:05:51,517
Um, I don't know how much
more school I can miss.

122
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,102
Oh, you'll miss plenty.

123
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:57,523
I have a feeling this business
is going to consume our whole lives.

124
00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,734
(overlapping conversation)

125
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,528
Alex, over here!

126
00:06:02,612 --> 00:06:04,280
Okay if the new girl sits with us?

127
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,823
-Oh, I guess.
-Okay, I guess.

128
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,576
She's a little weird
but let's give her a chance.

129
00:06:08,659 --> 00:06:10,411
Guys, this is Alex.

130
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:11,996
-Hi, there.
-Hi.

131
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,873
Ooh, twins.

132
00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:15,833
Which one is the evil one?

133
00:06:15,917 --> 00:06:17,794
(Alex laughing)

134
00:06:17,877 --> 00:06:19,003
(laughing nervously)

135
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:21,214
Okay... I'll go get our lunches.

136
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:23,257
-So, Alex--
-(phone ringing)

137
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:24,175
Just a sec.

138
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:27,678
-Hello?
-(all exclaiming)

139
00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:30,765
Oh, yeah, like I'd be seen
with a discover card.

140
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:32,725
You have a cell phone?

141
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,268
And a purse?

142
00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:38,147
That's it, don't be shy.

143
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,441
Now maybe a little joke to break the ice.

144
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:42,568
(girls laughing)

145
00:06:43,277 --> 00:06:44,237
Or a big joke.

146
00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:48,616
Careful, now. Nobody likes a showoff.

147
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,953
Where are they going?

148
00:06:52,036 --> 00:06:52,954
Hey, wait up!

149
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,833
They left without me.

150
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:58,751
MILHOUSE: Oh, Lisa...

151
00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:03,965
I've got an extra seat,
and you've got an extra lunch.

152
00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:05,007
(laughing)

153
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,634
Catch my drift? (laughs)

154
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:08,803
Milhouse, lower those eyebrows.

155
00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:11,347
<i>And </i>the other one.

156
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:14,434
Hmm...

157
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:21,441
So, there I am, being nice to Alex,

158
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:24,110
and she takes all of my friends
and ditches me.

159
00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:26,487
I'm sure they didn't ditch you, honey.

160
00:07:27,071 --> 00:07:30,116
Maybe they went off to plan
a surprise party for you.

161
00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:33,411
(laughing) Yeah.

162
00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:34,454
Good one, Mom.

163
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,831
They only like her
cause she acts so grown-up

164
00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:39,459
with her perfume and her cell phone and...

165
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:42,003
(gasps) Oh, and get this, Mom,

166
00:07:42,086 --> 00:07:44,380
she drinks iced tea.

167
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:49,844
Lisa, I can't imagine
anyone being more likable than you,

168
00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,679
but apparently, this new girl is.

169
00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:54,599
So my advice would be to start copying her
in every way.

170
00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:55,516
But, Dad...

171
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,185
Uh-uh. Think.

172
00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:58,895
Is that what Alex would say?

173
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:04,650
Oh, there you are.

174
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,903
Listen, I'm sorry
I ran out on you yesterday,

175
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:09,197
but the girls couldn't wait
to show me that tree.

176
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:11,949
Uh, don't give it a second thought.
I didn't.

177
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,160
Anyway, I got you a little present.

178
00:08:14,243 --> 00:08:15,578
(gasps) Oh!

179
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:16,704
Earrings.

180
00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:19,540
Wow, thank you so much, Alex.

181
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:22,251
Oh, but these are for pierced ears.

182
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,253
Yeah, aren't they great?

183
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,505
Alex did ours.

184
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:28,341
Yeah, all you need is a thumbtack
and a whole lot of paper towels.

185
00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:31,928
Uh, but I don't think
I'm ready for pierced ears.

186
00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:35,389
Well, maybe you can put them on your doll.

187
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:37,725
-(chuckling)
-Mmm.

188
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:39,310
Just kidding, Lis.

189
00:08:39,393 --> 00:08:41,229
I'm sure you'll be ready someday.

190
00:08:41,312 --> 00:08:43,731
Oh, Lisa, I was hoping
I could count on you again

191
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:46,651
to spearhead our annual
school-wide apple pick.

192
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:47,610
Absolutely.

193
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:49,028
Apple pick?

194
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:50,154
Yeah. It's great.

195
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:53,032
We have pony rides,
sing-alongs, apple bobbing,

196
00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:54,909
apple picking, apple everything.

197
00:08:54,992 --> 00:08:56,327
You forgot apple bobbing.

198
00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:57,370
No, I didn't.

199
00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:59,705
Didn't your old school have apple picks?

200
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,374
No. We weren't big on fruit.

201
00:09:01,457 --> 00:09:03,543
We were more into, like, dances.

202
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,253
You know, things that are fun.

203
00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:06,254
A dance?

204
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:08,089
Great idea, Alex.

205
00:09:08,172 --> 00:09:11,425
Yeah. Principal Skinner,
can we have a dance instead?

206
00:09:11,509 --> 00:09:14,929
(all) Oh, yes! Please!

207
00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:18,099
Well, we've never had a dance before.

208
00:09:18,182 --> 00:09:19,809
Lisa, you'd be doing all the work.

209
00:09:19,892 --> 00:09:21,894
-What do you think?
-Hmm, I don't know.

210
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:24,564
The ponies might be
startled by the loud music.

211
00:09:24,647 --> 00:09:26,232
Well, there wouldn't be ponies.

212
00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:31,612
Ew. Then, at the risk of being unpopular
I think I'm going to have to say...

213
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:37,243
School dance?

214
00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:39,370
I didn't approve any school dance.

215
00:09:39,453 --> 00:09:42,081
Yes, you did.
Yesterday, right by my locker.

216
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,250
(chuckles) Oh, yes, yes.

217
00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:45,710
Um, carry on.

218
00:09:45,793 --> 00:09:47,461
(groans)

219
00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:52,925
(children screaming)

220
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,347
When you want grease, go to the source,

221
00:09:58,431 --> 00:09:59,599
good old Krusty Burger.

222
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:00,850
Oh, I'll say.

223
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:02,310
Look at that redheaded kid.

224
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:05,563
There must be $20 worth of grease
on his forehead alone.

225
00:10:05,646 --> 00:10:07,481
I was thinking more of the deep fryer.

226
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:09,191
All right. We'll try it your way.

227
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,487
Can I help you, sir?

228
00:10:14,822 --> 00:10:17,325
My god, you're greasy.

229
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,286
Mr. Marouka, help!

230
00:10:22,204 --> 00:10:23,914
Mom's gonna kill you.

231
00:10:23,998 --> 00:10:25,625
If she didn't want her car ruined

232
00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:28,085
she should have done a better job
hiding her keys.

233
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:30,296
(slurping)

234
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:31,255
Hey, what the--

235
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,385
Hey! Hey! You're taking our grease!

236
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,970
It's our grease now.

237
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:39,805
(yells)

238
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:42,350
We run the grease racket in this town.

239
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,144
Hey, that's my shovel.

240
00:10:45,227 --> 00:10:47,188
We also run the shovel racket.

241
00:10:56,155 --> 00:11:00,284
Okay, girls, we're gonna need balloons,
crepe paper, party hats.

242
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:03,329
Whoa, you've got a Dingo Junction here?

243
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:08,084
(upbeat music playing)

244
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,092
I am not wearing this.

245
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,052
Oh, come on, Lisa. It's totally you.

246
00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:20,471
Just, you know, add some accessories,
lip gloss,

247
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:21,847
maybe drop five pounds.

248
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,141
Aren't we a little young for makeup and--

249
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,976
What do you mean, five pounds?

250
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:28,187
Well, you wanna look nice for your date.

251
00:11:28,270 --> 00:11:31,440
-Date?
-Hello. For the dance?

252
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,067
You guys have dates?

253
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,193
Hello.

254
00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:36,028
Stop saying hello!

255
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:38,155
Okay, calm down, Lisa. DMY.

256
00:11:38,239 --> 00:11:39,782
What's DMY?

257
00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:41,033
Don't mess yourself.

258
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:42,034
Ew.

259
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:44,078
Yeah, that's why we changed it to DMY.

260
00:11:44,161 --> 00:11:46,747
Don't worry, Lisa,
there's still plenty of time.

261
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:47,790
You'll get a date.

262
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,291
I don't want a date,

263
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:52,169
and I don't want to wear perfume
and cocktail dresses.

264
00:11:52,253 --> 00:11:54,630
Am I the only one
who just wants to play hopscotch

265
00:11:54,714 --> 00:11:57,049
and bake cookies
and watch <i>The McLaughlin Group?</i>

266
00:11:58,592 --> 00:11:59,593
Hello!

267
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,012
(softly) Hello?

268
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:08,894
Oh, I can't believe those goons
muscled me out of my grease business.

269
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,731
I've been muscled out
of everything I've ever done,

270
00:12:11,814 --> 00:12:14,275
including my muscle-for-hire business.

271
00:12:14,358 --> 00:12:16,193
My poor Homie.

272
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:20,030
Couldn't you try
some other far-out money-making scheme?

273
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:22,116
Oh, what's the point?

274
00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:24,410
You could raise some emus.

275
00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:27,037
Emus? Really?

276
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:28,831
Ooh, that's pretty crazy.

277
00:12:29,498 --> 00:12:32,752
Nah. I'd only fail
just like I fail at everything.

278
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,587
Hey, Dad, I've been thinking.

279
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:38,674
What if instead of giving up on grease
we go for one last big score?

280
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:39,717
Wait a minute.

281
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:40,843
The boy's right!

282
00:12:40,926 --> 00:12:42,511
I can't quit now.

283
00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:45,431
Ah, you always know just what to say
to cheer me up.

284
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:47,308
Emu farm.

285
00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:49,185
(chuckles)

286
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,187
You're priceless, Marge.

287
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,190
-(door shuts)
-(growling)

288
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:57,568
The thing about huckleberries is,

289
00:12:57,651 --> 00:13:00,988
once you've had fresh
you'll never go back to canned.

290
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:05,493
Um, uh, so anyway, I kicked the guy's ass.

291
00:13:07,995 --> 00:13:10,247
Now, if the berries are too tart,

292
00:13:10,706 --> 00:13:13,209
I just dust them
with confectioner's sugar.

293
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,252
Oh, good secret.

294
00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:16,420
LISA: Hey, guys.

295
00:13:20,090 --> 00:13:21,967
Oh... (giggling)

296
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,179
Hi, Lisa.

297
00:13:25,262 --> 00:13:26,472
Are you all right?

298
00:13:26,555 --> 00:13:28,224
No doubt. (chuckles)

299
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:31,143
Can't a girl fabulize herself
before the big dance?

300
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:33,437
Your earlobe's bleeding.

301
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,356
Oh. so, I guess,

302
00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:38,776
Major Muffins like yourselves
all have dates, huh?

303
00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:40,569
You better believe it.

304
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:41,862
Really? All of you?

305
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:44,406
Ah, we all have dates, Lisa.

306
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,950
Everyone does.

307
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:47,576
Even me.

308
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,286
Unbelievable.

309
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:51,121
Whoa!

310
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:54,250
Another wedgie?

311
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:55,918
(straining) Uh-huh.

312
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:57,878
Hang on. I'll get my forceps.

313
00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:59,088
Oh... hurry.

314
00:13:59,171 --> 00:14:01,006
(panting) Milhouse!

315
00:14:01,090 --> 00:14:02,800
I've been looking all over for you!

316
00:14:02,883 --> 00:14:05,135
Listen, you've always
had a crush on me, right?

317
00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:06,762
Well, this is your lucky day,

318
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,889
'cause you're gonna take me to the dance.

319
00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:10,224
Pretty great, huh? See ya.

320
00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:12,476
Oh, but I can't.

321
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,228
I already asked somebody.

322
00:14:14,311 --> 00:14:16,063
So, un-ask her.

323
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:17,147
But that wouldn't--

324
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:19,191
You're taking me, you got that?

325
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,777
And it's going to be a magical evening.

326
00:14:23,737 --> 00:14:25,739
(gasps) What am I doing?

327
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:26,782
This isn't me.

328
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,534
I'm sorry, Milhouse.

329
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:31,537
I'm free next weekend!

330
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:35,624
There's plenty of Milhouse to go around!

331
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:49,179
All right, son, we're about to embark
on our most difficult mission.

332
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:51,181
Let's bow our heads in prayer.

333
00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,350
Dear Lord, I know you're busy...

334
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:56,687
seeing as how you can watch women
changing clothes and all that.

335
00:14:56,770 --> 00:14:59,106
But if you help us steal
this grease tonight,

336
00:14:59,189 --> 00:15:02,568
I promise we'll donate
half the profits to charity.

337
00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:05,905
-Dad, he's not stupid.
-All right, screw it. Let's roll.

338
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:12,828
Mmm... I knew I should have
attached those somehow.

339
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,456
LISA: Lucky parameciums.

340
00:15:15,539 --> 00:15:18,417
<i>You </i>don't have to worry about
finding dates or dancing.

341
00:15:21,003 --> 00:15:22,338
(groaning)

342
00:15:22,421 --> 00:15:26,091
Lisa, I made you some homemade Pepsi
for the dance.

343
00:15:26,175 --> 00:15:28,594
It's a little thick,
but the price is right.

344
00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:31,013
Thanks, Mom, but I told you I'm not going.

345
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:34,016
Oh, so you don't have a date.

346
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:36,602
You can still go
and have a wonderful time.

347
00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:37,853
You don't understand.

348
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:39,104
I don't belong there.

349
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:42,608
The other girls are already
into fashion and makeup and dating.

350
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:45,486
They make me feel like a little baby.

351
00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:49,657
Oh, honey, a baby couldn't have organized
a big school dance,

352
00:15:50,157 --> 00:15:52,826
unless it was especially skilled...

353
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:56,205
or one of those superbabies from Brazil.

354
00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:58,123
Forget it, Mom. I'm not going.

355
00:15:58,207 --> 00:16:00,250
But they're counting
on you to take tickets.

356
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:01,335
And if you sit there

357
00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:05,089
with a brave little smile
and a festive bow,

358
00:16:05,172 --> 00:16:07,758
why, you could be the belle of the ball.

359
00:16:07,841 --> 00:16:10,135
Mom, you can't possibly believe that.

360
00:16:10,219 --> 00:16:12,179
I have to, honey.

361
00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:15,516
Or you can stay here
and we'll have our own dance.

362
00:16:16,058 --> 00:16:18,185
<i>♪ Every Simpson dance, now ♪</i>

363
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,062
<i>♪ Bump, bump, bump ♪</i>

364
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:21,605
<i>♪ Bump, bump, bump ♪</i>

365
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:22,523
I'll go.

366
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,275
This better work, boy.

367
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:28,529
I don't want to wind up
working on your mother's emu farm.

368
00:16:28,612 --> 00:16:29,530
Don't worry.

369
00:16:29,613 --> 00:16:31,824
This is the score
we've been dreaming about.

370
00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:34,660
The grease traps in this kitchen
have never been emptied.

371
00:16:40,457 --> 00:16:42,292
Okay, turn on the suction.

372
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:43,252
(motor whirring)

373
00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:45,629
It's not working.

374
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:49,258
(muffled yelling)

375
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:51,385
Oh!

376
00:16:51,927 --> 00:16:53,345
-Whoa!
-What is it?

377
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:54,513
Duh, nothing.

378
00:16:57,474 --> 00:16:58,767
Enjoy the dance.

379
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,228
(disco music, laughter)

380
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:07,067
Wow, Lisa, I really admire your guts.

381
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,194
You came here all by yourself

382
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:11,989
at the risk of being labeled
a dateless wonder.

383
00:17:12,072 --> 00:17:13,532
-Ugh!
-Ow!

384
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:14,908
(sweetly) It slipped.

385
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,497
Ah, it's gonna be a long night.

386
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:26,587
-Where's the hose?
-Bringin' up the rear!

387
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,841
-Ooh.
-Are you as excited as I am?

388
00:17:30,924 --> 00:17:31,884
Oh, yeah.

389
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:34,553
Well, here goes.

390
00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:37,556
(suctioning)

391
00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:41,185
And now we wait.

392
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:45,481
So, is this your school?

393
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:47,191
Well, it used to be.

394
00:17:47,775 --> 00:17:49,526
(whistling)

395
00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:59,119
Eek! I mean "ach!"

396
00:17:59,203 --> 00:18:00,746
I mean, what are ya doin' here?

397
00:18:00,829 --> 00:18:04,958
Uh... we're, uh,
new foreign exchange students

398
00:18:05,042 --> 00:18:08,462
from, uh... um... Scotland!

399
00:18:08,545 --> 00:18:11,924
(Scottish accent) Saints be praised,
I'm from Scotland.

400
00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:13,342
Where do ya hail from?

401
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,426
Uh...

402
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:17,054
North... Kilttown.

403
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:18,555
No foolin'!

404
00:18:18,639 --> 00:18:20,891
I'm from North Kilttown.

405
00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:22,810
Do ya know Angus McCloud?

406
00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:24,603
Wait a minute.

407
00:18:24,937 --> 00:18:28,273
There's no Angus McCloud
in North Kilttown!

408
00:18:28,357 --> 00:18:31,026
Why, you're not from Scotland at all!

409
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,945
Ach! Don't be daft.

410
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:34,530
I was born and rai--

411
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:36,198
Hey, what the--

412
00:18:36,281 --> 00:18:39,201
(gasping) My retirement grease!

413
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:40,160
No!

414
00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:42,121
Ya thievin' grease bandits!

415
00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:43,413
I'll kill ya!

416
00:18:43,497 --> 00:18:44,623
Wait up!

417
00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:47,209
(grunting)

418
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:48,961
(whimpering)

419
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:53,465
Not so fast, boy-o.

420
00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:56,343
Well, if it was up to me, I'd let you go,

421
00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,137
but the lads have a temper

422
00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,722
and they've been drinkin' all day!

423
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:02,850
(screaming)

424
00:19:03,767 --> 00:19:05,352
Stop pummeling me.

425
00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:08,021
It's really painful.

426
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,439
All right, fine.

427
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:11,817
I'll strangle ya for a while.

428
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,193
(growling)

429
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:15,279
-(muttering)
-(cracks)

430
00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:19,491
Lisa, I have to run home. (panting)

431
00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:21,410
I need you to keep an eye on the dance.

432
00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:25,664
Oh, I don't wanna go in there
with all the happy, dancing couples.

433
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:29,293
Normally I wouldn't ask,
but it's an emergency,

434
00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:31,587
Mother has a June bug
cornered in the basement,

435
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,213
and she needs me to finish it off.

436
00:19:33,297 --> 00:19:36,049
-Come on. Chop, chop.
-All right, all right. DMY.

437
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,135
I know what that means, young lady.

438
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:40,929
(sighing)

439
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:43,599
("More" playing)

440
00:19:43,682 --> 00:19:44,808
Huh?

441
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:54,151
Oh, Lisa, it's terrible.

442
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:56,862
Okay, this dance has gone <i>titanic.</i>

443
00:19:56,945 --> 00:19:58,989
-What happened?
-Well, the boys and girls

444
00:19:59,072 --> 00:20:00,574
are, like, afraid of each other.

445
00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:02,659
-They're acting like a bunch of--
-Kids?

446
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,786
I know. What is up with that?

447
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:07,706
It's because they are kids and so are we.

448
00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:10,709
Come on, Alex. We've only got nine,

449
00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:12,377
maybe ten years tops,

450
00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:13,879
where we can giggle in church

451
00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:15,422
and chew with our mouths open

452
00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:17,799
and go days without bathing.

453
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:20,135
We'll never have that freedom again.

454
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:23,430
Mmm. Listen, you can giggle
and stink all you want,

455
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:24,723
but I have a credit card,

456
00:20:24,806 --> 00:20:26,475
so... on you.

457
00:20:26,892 --> 00:20:28,685
(whimpering)

458
00:20:28,769 --> 00:20:31,772
-(growling)
-Uh, guys? Guys?

459
00:20:31,855 --> 00:20:32,814
The hose!

460
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,441
Bart, please.

461
00:20:34,524 --> 00:20:38,779
The groundskeeper and I
are trying to settle this like adults!

462
00:20:39,363 --> 00:20:43,742
(yelling)

463
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:45,953
(yawns)

464
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,539
Huh? Look! It's snowing!

465
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,751
(indistinct chatter)

466
00:20:53,585 --> 00:20:57,005
Ah! The snowflake tastes like fish sticks!

467
00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:00,467
(yelling and grunting)

468
00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:02,886
Yeah!

469
00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:09,977
(slurping)

470
00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:13,105
It's like a hamburger milkshake.

471
00:21:13,188 --> 00:21:14,106
(kids laughing)

472
00:21:14,189 --> 00:21:16,316
Here comes a grease ball. (grunts)

473
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:19,945
(Italian accent) Hey! Luigi bring you kids
free pizza.

474
00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:22,114
Why you hafta make the fun, huh?

475
00:21:22,197 --> 00:21:23,865
(kids yelling)

476
00:21:26,910 --> 00:21:28,453
Uh... that's my grease!

477
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:30,080
It's mine! Give it here!

478
00:21:30,914 --> 00:21:32,749
They're playing in grease?

479
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:33,709
Yarg.

480
00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:35,377
Oh, act your age.

481
00:21:35,460 --> 00:21:36,295
-Huh!
-(exclaims)

482
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:37,421
(giggling)

483
00:21:37,504 --> 00:21:38,338
Oh!

484
00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:42,634
You are so dead.

485
00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:45,345
(girls yelling)

486
00:21:48,849 --> 00:21:51,310
ALEX: <i>Ow! There was bacon in that.</i>

487
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:59,860
(theme music playing)

488
00:22:38,023 --> 00:22:38,857
Shh.

489
00:22:41,985 --> 00:22:43,987
{\an8}Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services

