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{\an8}(theme music playing)
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{\an8}CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
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{\an8}(bell ringing)
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{\an8}(whistle blows)
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{\an8}(beeping)
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{\an8}(playing the blues)
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{\an8}(jazzy solo)
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{\an8}(chimes)
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{\an8}(tires screeching)
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{\an8}(honking horn)
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{\an8}D'oh!
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{\an8}(screaming)
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{\an8}(tires screeching)
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{\an8}And then,
the handsome prince realized
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{\an8}he had to go
to the bathroom really bad.
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{\an8}But the evil ogre, Barney,
had left the men's room
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{\an8}in the most wicked condition.
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{\an8}So, the prince went out back
to the enchanted alley...
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{\an8}That's not a fairy tale.
It's something
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{\an8}that happened to you at Moe's.
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{\an8}Shh! Anyway, the prince
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{\an8}passed out for a hundred years
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{\an8}until he was awakened
by the kiss of a noble raccoon.
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{\an8}And thank you, God
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{\an8}for the bad things adults do
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{\an8}which distract attention
from stuff I'm doing.
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{\an8}Amen.
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{\an8}He's also thankful
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{\an8}for your bounty, Lord.
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{\an8}Good save, Mom. 'Night.
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{\an8}Sweet dreams, honey.
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{\an8}Uh, Mom?
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{\an8}Will you help me
with my project?
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{\an8}I need to make a working model
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{\an8}of the digestive system.
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{\an8}Of course, honey.
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{\an8}Thanks. It's due tomorrow.
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{\an8}Tomorrow?!
Well, that's too bad, mister.
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{\an8}I'm not going to bail
you out this time.
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{\an8}You're right, Mom. I understand.
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{\an8}All right.
I'll get you the materials
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{\an8}but you're building it.
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{\an8}OK.
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{\an8}Oh, I'll make the whole thing.
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{\an8}OK, paper-mache mix,
pipe cleaners,
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{\an8}pig intestines and sparkle paint.
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{\an8}You're a lifesaver, Apu.
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{\an8}All the other stores are closed.
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{\an8}(gasps) At 11:30?
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{\an8}But this is the peak hour
for stoned teenagers
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{\an8}buying shiny things.
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{\an8}Whoa!
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{\an8}It's a living mirror!
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{\an8}Cool hat!
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{\an8}I'm glad you're always here.
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{\an8}But isn't it a little
rough on your marriage?
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{\an8}You know, Manjula understands.
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{\an8}I told her that endless toil
is the only true path
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{\an8}out of this jerkwater burg.
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{\an8}Well, when you have a free night,
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{\an8}we'd love to have you two
over for dinner.
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{\an8}Oh, please, do not be insane.
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{\an8}You hosted our wedding!
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{\an8}The least we can do
is have you over for dinner.
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{\an8}It is payback time, and this time...
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{\an8}it's personal.
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{\an8}(humming)
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{\an8}Wow! That looks great, Mom!
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{\an8}Some of your best work.
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{\an8}(gurgling)
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{\an8}Oh, it sounds so real!
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{\an8}I didn't turn it on yet.
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{\an8}(gurgling)
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{\an8}Uhh, oh, I'm never eating
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{\an8}chili again.
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{\an8}Ooh, chili!
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{\an8}Nelson, what are you doing?
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{\an8}I'm solving world hunger.
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{\an8}-(gurgling)
-BART: Hey, you're wrecking it.
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{\an8}What the-- look out!
It's gonna blow!
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{\an8}-(all screaming)
-(bursts)
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{\an8}ALL: Ew!
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{\an8}-I hope you're happy, Nelson.
-Very.
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{\an8}But I can't help wondering
where I go from here.
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{\an8}Stop worrying, Apu.
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{\an8}The Kwik-E-Mart is in good hands.
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{\an8}I'm not checking up on you, Sanjay.
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{\an8}I am simply asking you
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{\an8}how many pennies you have left.
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{\an8}(gasps)
Seven? I'll be right there.
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{\an8}No, he won't.
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{\an8}Apu's entertaining tonight.
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{\an8}If you need pennies,
take them from Jerry's jar.
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{\an8}-Oh!
-This is why I married you.
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{\an8}Ooh, what an outfit!
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{\an8}You are one hot mama!
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{\an8}You think so?
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{\an8}I can't let you in the store
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{\an8}like that
because you are smoking.
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{\an8}Oh! Apu.
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{\an8}(doorbell ringing)
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{\an8}Maybe we should not
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{\an8}-answer it, huh?
-(door creaks)
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{\an8}Door's unlocked.
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{\an8}Oh, Marge, Homer,
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{\an8}welcome!
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{\an8}Yes, welcome.
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{\an8}What a lovely home!
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{\an8}Oh, you are too kind, Marge.
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{\an8}I am sure you have noticed
the many small imperfections
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{\an8}that fill me with shame.
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{\an8}Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no.
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{\an8}If anything, your home
makes me ashamed of my home.
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{\an8}Well, let us just say
we both feel bad.
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{\an8}Deal.
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{\an8}Who is your favorite
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{\an8}Indian pop singer?
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{\an8}Oh, don't make me choose.
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{\an8}Shankar, Shankar.
Oh, here we go.
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{\an8}(frenetic high-pitched wailing)
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{\an8}-Oh, sorry.
-(music slows down)
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{\an8}♪ You make me feel so young ♪
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{\an8}♪ You make me feel
so spring-sprung ♪
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{\an8}Good rice, good curry,
good Gandhi, let's hurry.
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{\an8}Mmm, this is delicious! What's in it?
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{\an8}Chickpeas, lentils and rice.
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{\an8}And what's in this?
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{\an8}-Chickpeas and lentils.
-Try it with rice.
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{\an8}I'm so glad we were able
to get together.
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{\an8}Well, you know how hard it is
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{\an8}to pry these two away from work.
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{\an8}(chuckling) Oh, yeah.
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{\an8}Homer's a real go-getter.
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{\an8}(laughing) Yeah.
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{\an8}I'm going right to the top.
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{\an8}(beeping)
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{\an8}Hmm, what's an "eltdown"?
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{\an8}Eh.
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{\an8}I don't understand, Marge.
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{\an8}Doesn't Homer work a standard
18-hour day?
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{\an8}Eighteen hours?
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{\an8}Nobody works that hard...
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{\an8}(clears throat) Mmm-mmm.
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{\an8}But he does work every day, right?
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{\an8}Well, pretty much.
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{\an8}Except weekends.
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{\an8}Wee... kends?
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{\an8}Uh, say, who's up
for a game of Ganesh-Gnop?
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{\an8}You told me it was
an American tradition
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{\an8}to work all the time
and never see your wife.
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{\an8}Yes, perhaps
I stretched the truth a bit,
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{\an8}but the Kwik-E-Mart
is a harsh mistress.
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{\an8}I think you just
don't want to see me!
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{\an8}Eh! Maybe we should just
close the door.
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{\an8}(arguing in Indian)
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{\an8}(arguing continues)
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{\an8}Maybe we should leave.
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{\an8}Uh-oh, no way.
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{\an8}I don't want to miss a word.
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{\an8}You don't know what they're saying.
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{\an8}I'm picking it up.
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{\an8}Sala seems to mean jerk,
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{\an8}and I think Manjula means
some kind of spaceship.
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{\an8}Uh, this could take a while, folks.
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{\an8}Thank you. Come again.
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{\an8}I hope we didn't get Apu
in too much trouble.
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{\an8}Aw, they're newlyweds.
They'll talk things out
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{\an8}and top it off with some loving.
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{\an8}-Oh, dear.
-Hmm!
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{\an8}(car honking)
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{\an8}MARGE: Either put the book down
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{\an8}or let me drive.
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{\an8}HOMER: Hey, they stole our idea.
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{\an8}-See? Look.
-MARGE: Ooh!
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{\an8}(tires screeching)
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{\an8}"I cherish you, my precious."
Uh... Nah.
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{\an8}"You're a heck
of a blacksmith."
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{\an8}Nah, I already got him one.
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{\an8}"You're a-peeling"
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{\an8}"Let's never split!"
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{\an8}(laughing)
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{\an8}That's funny
'cause they're monkeys.
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{\an8}So long, rejects.
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{\an8}(grunting)
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{\an8}Stupid cards.
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{\an8}Morning, Apu.
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{\an8}Still in hot water
with the squaw?
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{\an8}Worse than ever, I'm afraid.
189
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{\an8}My shameful neglect
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00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:23,127
{\an8}has made her feel unloved.
191
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{\an8}Now I fear she will leave me.
192
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:28,508
{\an8}Oh, she's not going to leave you
right before Valentine's Day.
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00:08:28,591 --> 00:08:30,343
{\an8}That would be like going
to an air show
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{\an8}and leaving before the plane crash.
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{\an8}Oh, you are right.
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00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:35,097
{\an8}There's still seven days
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{\an8}before Valentine's.
198
00:08:36,390 --> 00:08:38,059
{\an8}Ah! Seven chances to prove
199
00:08:38,142 --> 00:08:39,685
{\an8}my love for sweet Manjula.
200
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:42,813
{\an8}(slurps)
Sweet mint julep...
201
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,106
{\an8}I'll be at Moe's.
202
00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:47,693
{\an8}Hmm?
203
00:08:49,904 --> 00:08:52,448
{\an8}(growling and whimpering)
204
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,783
{\an8}Come on, boy, come on.
205
00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:56,244
{\an8}Dad, the vet says
we shouldn't make him
206
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:57,620
{\an8}fetch the Sunday paper.
207
00:08:57,703 --> 00:08:58,913
{\an8}(whimpering)
208
00:08:58,996 --> 00:09:01,999
{\an8}Good dog. Good doggie.
209
00:09:02,458 --> 00:09:03,918
{\an8}"Tax hike approved."
210
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,753
{\an8}Bad dog. Bad, bad dog.
211
00:09:05,836 --> 00:09:07,380
{\an8}(whimpering)
212
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:09,674
{\an8}Now to trim away the fat.
213
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:11,008
{\an8}"Outlook." Ugh!
214
00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:12,260
{\an8}"Vista." No.
215
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:14,220
{\an8}"Spotlight." Ugh! "Mosaic." Nah.
216
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,223
{\an8}I'd love to look at "Scullery
Week" if you're through.
217
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:19,225
{\an8}Oh! Sorry, Marge.
That's in my stockpile.
218
00:09:19,308 --> 00:09:20,768
{\an8}You can have this.
219
00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:22,937
{\an8}This is about investment opportunities
220
00:09:23,020 --> 00:09:24,021
{\an8}in Yemen.
221
00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,106
{\an8}Give me that!
222
00:09:25,189 --> 00:09:26,857
{\an8}All right, the personals.
223
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,568
{\an8}Hmm... (humming)
224
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,152
{\an8}"Successful mayor-type
225
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,613
{\an8}seeks open-minded, discreet
cheerleader-type."
226
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:34,156
{\an8}Oh, that's sweet.
227
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,534
{\an8}Ah, here's one.
"Desperately seeking suction--"
228
00:09:36,617 --> 00:09:38,077
{\an8}Hey, look at this one!
229
00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:39,662
{\an8}(gasping) It's a poem.
230
00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:41,706
{\an8}(gasps) From Apu!
231
00:09:41,789 --> 00:09:43,708
{\an8}Well, don't just gasp. Read it.
232
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,751
{\an8}"My darling bride, Manjula.
233
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:47,712
{\an8}I hereby mend my ways.
234
00:09:47,795 --> 00:09:49,755
{\an8}I'll shower you with Valentines
235
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:52,174
{\an8}for seven love-filled days."
236
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,218
{\an8}Oh, how romantic!
237
00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:56,345
{\an8}I used to take out ads like that
238
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,055
{\an8}when we were newlyweds.
239
00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:01,142
{\an8}The only ad you took out
was to sell our lawnmower.
240
00:10:01,225 --> 00:10:03,477
{\an8}We sold it, didn't we?
241
00:10:04,645 --> 00:10:08,149
{\an8}(both grunting)
242
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:13,195
{\an8}Until last night, I never knew
Apu could be so romantic.
243
00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:15,072
{\an8}I can't believe it.
244
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,407
{\an8}He covered your whole bed
245
00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:18,409
{\an8}with wildflowers!
246
00:10:18,492 --> 00:10:20,995
{\an8}Oh, I'm sure Homer has
done that for you.
247
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:23,914
{\an8}Hmm. Sometimes I find pickle
slices in the sheets.
248
00:10:24,373 --> 00:10:27,793
{\an8}And he says I've got
six more surprises coming.
249
00:10:27,877 --> 00:10:30,838
{\an8}I feel like the luckiest
woman in Springfield.
250
00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:32,757
{\an8}-(squawking)
-(screams)
251
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,717
{\an8}-Oh!
-(squawks)
252
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,135
{\an8}♪ He loves the nightlife ♪
253
00:10:36,218 --> 00:10:37,887
{\an8}♪ He loves Manjula ♪
254
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:40,056
{\an8}♪ The man they call Apu ♪
255
00:10:40,139 --> 00:10:41,807
{\an8}♪ Oh, yeah! ♪ (squawks)
256
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,018
{\an8}He has trained a bird to sing to me.
257
00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:45,978
{\an8}Limo out front. Tickets to opera.
258
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,438
{\an8}Front row loge. (squawks)
259
00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:48,606
{\an8}(groans)
260
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:50,358
{\an8}Just once, I'd like a parrot
261
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:51,609
{\an8}to say that to me.
262
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:55,112
{\an8}Then the bird sang
"I Love the Nightlife"
263
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:56,864
{\an8}with clever new lyrics.
264
00:10:56,947 --> 00:10:58,574
{\an8}Ugh! I hate that song.
265
00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:00,660
{\an8}I do, too, but it was sweet.
266
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:04,205
{\an8}Women really like that
sort of thing, Homie.
267
00:11:04,288 --> 00:11:05,706
{\an8}Don't worry, honey.
268
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:08,376
{\an8}I got something
really special planned
269
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:09,960
{\an8}for Valentine's Day.
270
00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:11,629
{\an8}It's not that monkey card
271
00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:13,381
{\an8}I found in the car, is it?
272
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,800
{\an8}Wouldn't you like to know?
273
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:17,843
{\an8}(groans)
274
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:25,351
{\an8}A chocolate husband!
275
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,770
{\an8}Oh, how darling!
276
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:30,064
{\an8}APU (muffled): Help! I can't breathe!
277
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:33,484
{\an8}Oh, Apu!
278
00:11:33,567 --> 00:11:36,237
{\an8}Oh, you are the sweetest
filling of all.
279
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,823
{\an8}(panting)
Air... I need air.
280
00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:40,116
{\an8}Oh, Apu!
281
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:42,326
{\an8}Oh! My ears are filled with nougat.
282
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:43,661
{\an8}Oh, dear!
283
00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:45,204
{\an8}There's a nut in my eye.
284
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:49,375
{\an8}So then, the second salesman
says, "That's OK.
285
00:11:49,458 --> 00:11:51,794
{\an8}I just ate
all the hot buttered corn."
286
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:54,672
{\an8}(laughing)
287
00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:56,173
{\an8}You like that one, baby?
288
00:11:56,257 --> 00:11:58,634
{\an8}-Hmm.
-Sarah, what's wrong?
289
00:11:59,051 --> 00:12:01,470
{\an8}Usually after two or three
truly tasteless jokes,
290
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:02,680
{\an8}you're all over me.
291
00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:03,806
{\an8}Manjula got to see
292
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:04,890
{\an8}La bohème.
293
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,644
{\an8}Sarah, please.
Sarah, it's $10 a pill.
294
00:12:09,353 --> 00:12:12,648
{\an8}And so, with Valentine's Day
one day away,
295
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,109
{\an8}all eyes are on the local romeo
296
00:12:15,192 --> 00:12:19,321
{\an8}whose seven-day gift-a-thon
has been delighting his wife
297
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:21,323
{\an8}and introubulating the rest of us.
298
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,909
{\an8}Reverend Timothy Lovejoy
says he's counseled
299
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:27,580
{\an8}a number of disenchanted wives,
including Maude Flanders.
300
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:32,334
{\an8}Everybody's marriage is falling
apart except ours.
301
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:34,712
{\an8}See? The problem's communication.
302
00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:36,881
{\an8}Too much communication.
303
00:12:36,964 --> 00:12:40,176
{\an8}Homer, I've gone through
seven years of receipts
304
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,094
{\an8}and you've spent less on gifts for me
305
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:44,597
{\an8}than you have on temporary tattoos.
306
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,682
{\an8}But Marge, it's worth it!
307
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,267
{\an8}Look, the Taco Bell dog.
308
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:49,393
{\an8}"Yo quiero ta..."
309
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:51,061
{\an8}Hey, where'd it go?
310
00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:53,063
{\an8}Here, boy!
(whining)
311
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:55,274
{\an8}You just don't get it!
312
00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:58,944
{\an8}(door slams)
313
00:13:00,404 --> 00:13:03,115
{\an8}This Valentine's crap
has gone too far.
314
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,617
{\an8}(all agreeing)
315
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:07,119
{\an8}Edna won't even let me clap
her erasers.
316
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,872
{\an8}My Barbara
will no longer pleasure me
317
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:11,499
{\an8}with the French arts.
318
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,292
{\an8}The gal I'm stalking
had me bumped
319
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,710
{\an8}back to 200 feet.
320
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,837
{\an8}-MAN: Oh, Moe!
-That's too far.
321
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,881
{\an8}HOMER: And ask yourselves, people,
322
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:21,342
{\an8}who's to blame for all this?
323
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:23,177
{\an8}Well, I guess we are.
324
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:25,471
{\an8}I suppose I do take Maude
for granted.
325
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:26,889
{\an8}I've done some of that myself.
326
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:28,265
{\an8}Will you stop it?
327
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,518
{\an8}It's easy to blame ourselves,
328
00:13:30,601 --> 00:13:33,145
{\an8}but it's even easier to blame Apu.
329
00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,855
{\an8}He's making us look bad.
330
00:13:34,939 --> 00:13:36,690
{\an8}(all agreeing)
331
00:13:36,774 --> 00:13:39,360
{\an8}-[horse neighing]
- What's going on out there?
332
00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:46,617
{\an8}(playing chamber music)
333
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,703
{\an8}Aw, geez he's got everything
but the Shriners.
334
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,832
{\an8}(beeps horn)
335
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:55,334
{\an8}Hey, watch it!
You're all over the road.
336
00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:57,837
{\an8}We've got to stop that traitor Apu.
337
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,421
{\an8}-ALL: Yeah!
-That's right!
338
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:00,881
{\an8}Right after happy hour.
339
00:14:00,965 --> 00:14:02,466
{\an8}(all agreeing)
340
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,885
{\an8}-BARNEY: I call side seat!
-MOE: Drinking will help us plan.
341
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,103
{\an8}Come on, Apu. Make your move.
342
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:17,189
{\an8}Maybe he's run out
of romantic ideas.
343
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:19,024
{\an8}Naw, not our lover boy.
344
00:14:19,108 --> 00:14:20,609
{\an8}If I know his M.O.,
345
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:23,070
{\an8}he's saved the biggest one
for today.
346
00:14:23,153 --> 00:14:26,574
{\an8}Ah gee, the man's just trying
to show his wife he cares for her.
347
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:28,701
{\an8}How could we sabotage
his labor of love?
348
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,786
{\an8}I don't know. Gasoline, axes--
349
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,371
{\an8}I got some stuff in the trunk.
350
00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:33,998
{\an8}-Hey, there he goes.
-Let's roll.
351
00:14:37,376 --> 00:14:38,711
{\an8}Uh, Homer, you're driving.
352
00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:40,087
{\an8}Not yet, I'm not.
353
00:14:40,170 --> 00:14:41,589
{\an8}You'll know when I'm driving,
354
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:42,798
{\an8}and it'll-- (shrieks)
355
00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:45,384
{\an8}Tiffany's, eh?
356
00:14:45,467 --> 00:14:46,552
{\an8}Yeah, looks like
357
00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:48,095
{\an8}Smoochy's going to seal the deal
358
00:14:48,178 --> 00:14:50,598
{\an8}with a diamond
the size of a doll's head.
359
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:52,516
{\an8}Aw, man, he's making us look like
360
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,268
{\an8}a bunch of cheapskates.
361
00:14:54,351 --> 00:14:56,020
{\an8}Whoa, whoa, my rope came loose.
362
00:14:57,771 --> 00:15:00,566
{\an8}WIGGUM: There he is...
behind that shopping bag.
363
00:15:00,649 --> 00:15:01,984
{\an8}A croissant? What the--
364
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:03,819
{\an8}Ah, that's right!
They have breakfast
365
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,029
{\an8}at Tiffany's now.
366
00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:06,780
{\an8}Only till 11:00.
367
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:10,868
{\an8}So, that's it.
368
00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:12,119
{\an8}The crazy nut!
369
00:15:12,202 --> 00:15:13,829
{\an8}He went and bought her a sloop.
370
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,289
{\an8}Well, this is one love boat
371
00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:17,708
{\an8}that won't delight and amuse.
372
00:15:18,042 --> 00:15:20,044
{\an8}Wait, chief,
he's not purchasing a boat.
373
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,379
{\an8}Arr, it's kind of you
374
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:24,715
{\an8}to deliver these copies of juggs.
375
00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:26,634
{\an8}They'll keep my men from resorting
376
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,385
{\an8}to homosexuality...
377
00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:30,387
{\an8}for about ten minutes.
378
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,431
{\an8}(all laughing)
379
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:33,641
{\an8}Look who's talking.
380
00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:35,142
{\an8}Arr.
381
00:15:35,517 --> 00:15:36,977
{\an8}This is turning out to be
382
00:15:37,061 --> 00:15:38,520
{\an8}a total waste of time.
383
00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:39,855
{\an8}Not entirely.
384
00:15:46,946 --> 00:15:49,698
{\an8}Aw, geez we've been
following him for hours.
385
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:51,533
{\an8}You know, with all the energy
386
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,702
{\an8}we're putting
into this sabotage thing,
387
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,996
{\an8}we could have written sonnets
for our wives
388
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,415
{\an8}or learned to tango
or lovingly restored
389
00:15:58,499 --> 00:15:59,583
{\an8}one of those antique...
390
00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,210
{\an8}(yells) Ohh!
391
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,797
{\an8}Whew! At least I got a hunk
of Moe's hair.
392
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,340
{\an8}Man, that smarts!
393
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,219
{\an8}Oh, baby, we got him now.
394
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,179
{\an8}There's no escape from the airport.
395
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,390
{\an8}Oh, nuts! We lost him.
396
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:17,267
{\an8}I told you we shouldn't have
gone for long-term parking.
397
00:16:17,351 --> 00:16:19,812
{\an8}Hey, look! It's Elton John!
398
00:16:19,895 --> 00:16:21,438
{\an8}We had to make
an emergency landing.
399
00:16:21,522 --> 00:16:23,440
{\an8}It's that damned chandelier again.
400
00:16:23,774 --> 00:16:24,775
{\an8}Aah!
401
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,361
{\an8}What's he doing in Springfield?
402
00:16:27,444 --> 00:16:28,737
{\an8}I got it. I got it.
403
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,114
{\an8}Apu must have hired him
404
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:31,782
{\an8}to sing for Manjula.
405
00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:33,283
{\an8}Not if I can help it.
406
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:35,244
{\an8}And help it I might.
407
00:16:36,328 --> 00:16:38,288
{\an8}Mr. John, I'm your biggest fan.
408
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:41,458
{\an8}I've tape-recorded
all your songs off the radio.
409
00:16:41,542 --> 00:16:43,794
{\an8}Oh, that's very sweet!
410
00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:45,879
{\an8}-Have a Grammy.
-Uh...
411
00:16:50,551 --> 00:16:52,803
{\an8}Sir Elton, my noble friends
and I would like
412
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:53,887
{\an8}to dub you...
413
00:16:53,971 --> 00:16:56,515
{\an8}a Knight of the Grand Concourse.
414
00:16:56,974 --> 00:17:00,561
{\an8}Yeah. It's for all
your charity work and, um...
415
00:17:00,644 --> 00:17:04,690
{\an8}for, uh, you know,
teaching us, um, to love again.
416
00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:06,859
{\an8}Really? I did that?
417
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:09,278
{\an8}How the hell should I know?
Just get in the cage.
418
00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:13,449
{\an8}What? Oh, hazing the new guy, eh?
419
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:15,284
{\an8}You know, when I was dubbed
"Sir Elton,"
420
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:16,869
{\an8}the Queen paddled me silly.
421
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:18,996
{\an8}Hey, Apu's talking to a skywriter.
422
00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:21,707
{\an8}So, that was his plan all along.
423
00:17:21,790 --> 00:17:24,293
{\an8}If he writes a message
of love over Springfield,
424
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:25,794
{\an8}we're all screwed.
425
00:17:26,420 --> 00:17:28,130
{\an8}ELTON: Hello? Lads?
426
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:29,923
{\an8}Don't forget your old pal, Elton.
427
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:31,550
{\an8}Can anyone hear me?
428
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,052
{\an8}Skycap?
429
00:17:35,596 --> 00:17:37,014
{\an8}OK, here is the message,
430
00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:40,517
{\an8}and please don't skimp on the...
sarin?
431
00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:43,812
{\an8}Don't be frightened.
432
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:46,315
{\an8}That tank's just
Peace Corps surplus.
433
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:47,733
{\an8}HOMER: Not so fast, Apu!
434
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:50,861
{\an8}Homer!
What a delightful coincidence!
435
00:17:50,944 --> 00:17:53,781
{\an8}We're putting an end to your
insane Valentine's rampage.
436
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:57,159
{\an8}Never again will good, lazy men
have to-- What the...
437
00:17:57,242 --> 00:17:58,911
{\an8}Oh, no, you don't!
438
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:01,955
{\an8}(panting)
439
00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:09,546
{\an8}Hey, you with the scarf!
440
00:18:09,630 --> 00:18:10,881
{\an8}Stop skywriting!
441
00:18:10,964 --> 00:18:12,758
{\an8}I have to deliver a message.
442
00:18:12,841 --> 00:18:14,760
{\an8}It's the skywriter's code.
443
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:17,471
{\an8}I am so sick of that damned code!
444
00:18:17,971 --> 00:18:21,225
{\an8}If you won't stop, then I'll stop you!
445
00:18:21,308 --> 00:18:22,601
{\an8}(grunting)
446
00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:25,270
{\an8}What are you doing? Don't do that!
447
00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:27,940
{\an8}(plane whirring)
448
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,860
{\an8}Oh, isn't that sweet?
449
00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:35,155
{\an8}(sighs)
That must be for Manjula.
450
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:38,534
{\an8}Just once,
I'd like a love note in the sky.
451
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:40,035
{\an8}(chuckles)
452
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:41,954
{\an8}(grunting)
453
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:43,288
{\an8}Lousy message!
454
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,958
{\an8}You crazy fool, you'll kill us all!
455
00:18:46,041 --> 00:18:47,876
{\an8}Correction, kill us both!
456
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,962
{\an8}(Homer grunting)
457
00:18:52,923 --> 00:18:56,218
{\an8}I love you... it's an angel!
458
00:18:56,301 --> 00:18:58,804
{\an8}Ooh, that's Neddy's pet name for me.
459
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:03,433
{\an8}I love you, poppin' fresh.
460
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:06,520
{\an8}Oh, Clancy! (laughs)
461
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:09,898
{\an8}I love you, Edna K.
It's a little run together,
462
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,108
{\an8}but that's what it says.
463
00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:14,903
{\an8}I love you... cactus?
464
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,948
{\an8}Blobby? Upsilon?
465
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:19,783
{\an8}Oh, who am I kidding?
466
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:22,077
{\an8}Homer would never
surprise me like that.
467
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,579
{\an8}(aircraft whizzing)
468
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:25,581
{\an8}MAN: Doggone it!
You ruined my message!
469
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:28,876
{\an8}What's the matter with you,
you crazy old buzzard!
470
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:31,461
{\an8}-Get off me!
-You're making me mad!
471
00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:32,880
{\an8}-(both yelling)
-Oh, me!
472
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:34,590
{\an8}My humble love note is turning
473
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,925
{\an8}into a Valentine's Day massacre!
474
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,844
{\an8}You think you've got problems.
475
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:41,513
{\an8}I just chewed my way
out of a dog carrier.
476
00:19:41,597 --> 00:19:43,557
{\an8}Oh! Elton John?
477
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:44,683
{\an8}That's my name.
478
00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:46,476
{\an8}Well, not really.
479
00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:49,188
{\an8}I hate to sound like
a screaming fan, but...
480
00:19:49,521 --> 00:19:50,522
{\an8}(screams)
481
00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:52,983
{\an8}That maniac nearly killed us.
482
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:55,527
{\an8}Shall I... take you to the pilot?
483
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:58,572
{\an8}Ha! You see,
because that is your song...
484
00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:00,574
{\an8}-I heard you.
-Yes, because...
485
00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:02,659
{\an8}someone saved your life tonight.
486
00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,369
{\an8}-(laughs)
-Cut it out!
487
00:20:04,453 --> 00:20:08,415
{\an8}Well, well, "The Bitch is Back."
(laughs)
488
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:09,583
{\an8}(exasperated sigh)
489
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:11,752
{\an8}Aah! Ow!
490
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,883
{\an8}Durn'it! Why won't you die?
491
00:20:17,966 --> 00:20:19,051
{\an8}(yelling)
492
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:22,304
{\an8}Oh, prickers! (screaming)
493
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:23,639
{\an8}Huh? (gasps)
494
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,894
{\an8}(whimpering)
495
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:30,229
{\an8}(gasps)
496
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:34,608
{\an8}What in the world?
497
00:20:34,691 --> 00:20:37,027
{\an8}(groaning) Roses...
498
00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:39,446
{\an8}So many roses.
499
00:20:39,529 --> 00:20:41,865
{\an8}Just when I think
I have you figured out,
500
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:45,244
{\an8}you fall from the sky with roses.
501
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,578
{\an8}Roses...
502
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:49,623
{\an8}Oh, Homie!
Oh, they're beautiful!
503
00:20:50,624 --> 00:20:54,461
{\an8}Oh, I'm going to snuggle
your brains out.
504
00:20:54,878 --> 00:20:58,966
{\an8}Well, I think I have
a collapsed lung... but OK.
505
00:21:02,469 --> 00:21:08,475
{\an8}♪ If I was a sculptor, heh
But then again, no ♪
506
00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:12,229
{\an8}♪ Or a man who makes potions ♪
507
00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:16,900
{\an8}♪ In a traveling show ♪
508
00:21:18,151 --> 00:21:23,907
{\an8}♪ I know it's not much
but it's the best I can do ♪
509
00:21:25,325 --> 00:21:28,328
{\an8}♪ My gift is my song, yeah ♪
510
00:21:28,996 --> 00:21:31,665
{\an8}♪ And this one's from Apu ♪
511
00:21:32,499 --> 00:21:34,001
{\an8}Oh...
512
00:21:34,084 --> 00:21:35,961
{\an8}Oh, I can't believe it.
513
00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:38,714
{\an8}You closed the Kwik-E-Mart
just for me.
514
00:21:38,797 --> 00:21:41,049
{\an8}Well, you and the health inspector.
515
00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,218
{\an8}Champagne squishy?
516
00:21:43,302 --> 00:21:45,012
{\an8}Oh, thank you!
517
00:21:46,346 --> 00:21:49,016
{\an8}It should get you
pretty darned hammered.
518
00:21:59,192 --> 00:22:00,235
{\an8}(theme music playing)
519
00:22:39,149 --> 00:22:40,859
{\an8}-(murmuring)
-Shh!
520
00:22:44,112 --> 00:22:46,114
{\an8}Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services