1 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,589 ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:09,676 (theme music playing) 3 00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,644 (bell ringing) 4 00:00:23,648 --> 00:00:25,316 (siren blaring) 5 00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:43,543 (playing the blues) 6 00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:47,505 (tires screeching) 7 00:00:58,933 --> 00:00:59,934 (honking horn) 8 00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:06,232 D-oh! (screams) 9 00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:10,779 (all scream) 10 00:01:10,862 --> 00:01:11,946 (whirring) 11 00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:27,879 {\an8}Hey, why didn't you tell me the new issue of Weird was here? 12 00:01:27,962 --> 00:01:28,922 {\an8}(chuckles) 13 00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:31,591 {\an8}I love their hilarious send-ups of hit movies. 14 00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:32,926 {\an8}-Dad, it's not-- -"Gigabytes." 15 00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:35,678 {\an8}(laughing) They've done it again. 16 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:38,640 {\an8}"Gigabytes." Wait, this isn't Weird. 17 00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:41,351 {\an8}Why, there's no magazine called Weird, is there? 18 00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:45,313 {\an8}This is Wired. It's about computers and technology. 19 00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:50,610 {\an8}Hey, look. There's a cybercafe opening right here in Springfield. 20 00:01:50,693 --> 00:01:52,278 {\an8}Will you take me, Dad? Please? 21 00:01:52,362 --> 00:01:54,572 {\an8}I'll show you how to order pizza over the internet. 22 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,242 {\an8}The internet? Is that thing still around? 23 00:01:57,325 --> 00:01:59,160 {\an8}I know a web site that shows monkeys doin' it. 24 00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:01,955 {\an8}Bart, the internet is more than a global pornography network. 25 00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:02,997 {\an8}-It's a-- -(horn honks) 26 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,166 {\an8}Come on, Lisa. Monkeys. 27 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,376 {\an8}(groans) 28 00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:14,134 {\an8}Ach. Let's see what's been captured on the up-kilt camera. 29 00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:17,137 {\an8}(beeps, whirs) 30 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:20,849 {\an8}Ew. This lass needs a bit of grounds keeping. 31 00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:22,767 {\an8}Eh? Aah! That's Willie! 32 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,645 {\an8}My name is Mary. 33 00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:28,982 {\an8}I'm 45, heavy, and willing to settle for less. 34 00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:32,694 {\an8}Wow. This Mary's got the whole package. 35 00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:35,905 {\an8}Wow, Dad. You're surfin' like a pro. 36 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:39,659 {\an8}Oh, yeah. I'm betting on jai alai in the Cayman Islands. 37 00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:42,162 {\an8}I invested in something called News Corp-- 38 00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,872 {\an8}-Dad! That's Fox! -(screams) 39 00:02:43,955 --> 00:02:46,124 {\an8}Undo! Undo! (groans) 40 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:48,084 {\an8}Dad, do we have any money left? 41 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,879 {\an8}Well, let's check the old bank account. 42 00:02:50,962 --> 00:02:53,798 {\an8}See? Even after my cyber squandering, 43 00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:56,384 {\an8}we've still got $1,200. 44 00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:59,637 {\an8}-All right, dorks, this is a holdup. -(gasping, murmuring) 45 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:03,391 Oh, yes! Download to papa. 46 00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:05,018 (beeping) 47 00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:08,897 Yoink dot adios, back-slash losers. 48 00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:10,899 (groans) 49 00:03:10,982 --> 00:03:12,358 MARGE: We were robbed? 50 00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:16,905 You seem to know an awful lot about this for an innocent person. 51 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:20,158 We were saving that money for our family vacation. 52 00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,827 Now we're gonna have to start all over again. 53 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:23,828 (groans) 54 00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:25,830 Aw, don't worry, sweetheart. 55 00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,415 I'll get us the money, 56 00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:29,667 even if I have to get a second job. 57 00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,678 Evenin', neighbor. Low on funds again? 58 00:03:40,762 --> 00:03:41,763 Yes, sir. 59 00:03:41,846 --> 00:03:44,224 Now, Homer, we can't have you burglarizing us 60 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,142 every time you got a bill to pay. 61 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,353 I know, sir. I'm sorry, sir. 62 00:03:50,146 --> 00:03:53,524 It's just that you and Maude live like royalty in your fancy castle 63 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:57,028 while I got Marge trapped over there like a pig in a mud beehive. 64 00:03:57,111 --> 00:03:59,781 Oh, we're... we're not as well off as you think. 65 00:03:59,864 --> 00:04:02,325 We give to eight different churches just to hedge our bets, 66 00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:05,245 and the Leftorium's business has gone way downhill 67 00:04:05,328 --> 00:04:07,247 since Leftopolis moved in next door. 68 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:10,333 If you're not rich, then how come you have a new refrigerator, 69 00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,543 an electric can opener, a milk shake machine? 70 00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:14,462 (chuckling) We picked those up cheap. 71 00:04:14,545 --> 00:04:15,922 They were evidence at a murder trial. 72 00:04:16,005 --> 00:04:17,090 Sweet. 73 00:04:17,173 --> 00:04:20,218 We got that tip at the Chuck Garabedian Mega-Savings Seminar. 74 00:04:20,301 --> 00:04:21,386 Go on. 75 00:04:21,469 --> 00:04:23,763 He taught us how to live a Burt Reynolds lifestyle 76 00:04:23,846 --> 00:04:25,223 on a Mac Davis income. 77 00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:27,225 We've already got tickets for his next seminar. 78 00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:30,770 I think you'll find living thrifty a lot more satisfying than stealing. 79 00:04:30,853 --> 00:04:33,064 Maybe you're right, Ned. 80 00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,608 Maybe you're right. 81 00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:46,286 Are you tired of missing out on the good things in life, 82 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:50,290 family vacations, jet packs, solid gold dancers? 83 00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,458 There's only three left in the world. 84 00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:54,919 Well, stick around, 'cause I'm gonna tell you 85 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:58,423 the 12 savings secrets Wall Street won't tell you. 86 00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:01,801 Then I'll show you the three ways to get back to the highway, 87 00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:06,347 including one shortcut those Wall Street fat cats don't want you to know. 88 00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:07,849 (cheering) 89 00:05:07,932 --> 00:05:10,852 Oh, here we go with the fat-cat bashing. 90 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:14,939 Well, what do you expect? These yokels are pure Baltic Avenue. 91 00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:17,984 (chuckles) Uh-oh! I'm late for the short line railroad. 92 00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:21,070 (tires squeal) 93 00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:23,656 Let's start with mega secret number one: 94 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,492 "ya gotta squeeze every penny." 95 00:05:26,576 --> 00:05:29,871 You see this tux? I got it cheap 'cause Roy Cohn died in it. 96 00:05:29,954 --> 00:05:30,955 (murmuring) 97 00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,165 That fancy yacht? 98 00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:34,667 A bargain, 'cause it smells like cat pee. 99 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:36,586 (murmuring) 100 00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:38,296 And those beautiful women? 101 00:05:38,379 --> 00:05:39,464 They used to be men. 102 00:05:39,547 --> 00:05:40,465 (groaning) 103 00:05:40,548 --> 00:05:44,385 The point is, ya gotta squeeze every penny. 104 00:05:44,469 --> 00:05:45,303 Come on, let me hear you. 105 00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:47,263 TOGETHER: Squeeze every penny. 106 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,349 Squeeze every penny. 107 00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:52,435 I'm squeezing. I'm squeezing it. 108 00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:55,688 Hey, I squeezed so hard it went into my hand. 109 00:05:57,690 --> 00:05:59,859 Oh, Homer, not again. 110 00:06:02,278 --> 00:06:06,491 Ew. We're gonna do our grocery shopping at a 99 cent store? 111 00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:07,992 Well, maybe for your wedding. 112 00:06:09,243 --> 00:06:10,203 BART: How about here? 113 00:06:10,286 --> 00:06:12,246 Not if we want that vacation. 114 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,713 Look, Mom. They have your dress. 115 00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:21,839 (groans) 116 00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,383 Thirty-three cents? 117 00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:25,259 I paid almost double that. 118 00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,388 Blue? 119 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:31,057 Wow! This plankton's only 33 cents. 120 00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:34,811 According to the Mexican Council of Food, 121 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:36,646 this expired two years ago. 122 00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:40,024 Sure, by their standards, but we live in America. 123 00:06:40,108 --> 00:06:42,652 (chomping, groaning) 124 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:46,072 This also says it can cause red tide poisoning. 125 00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:48,408 But it's so cheap. 126 00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:52,912 Well, let's see what's in the old vacation fund. 127 00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:57,125 Homer, you could have just unscrewed the bottom. 128 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,043 A little late for "could-haves," Marge. 129 00:06:59,127 --> 00:07:01,671 I don't think there's enough here for a vacation. 130 00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:05,049 There is for a mega-savings vacation. 131 00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,969 Chuck Garabedian says you can fly mega cheap 132 00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:09,679 if you don't care where you go. 133 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:12,974 That's right. Just go to the airport and wait for some no-shows. 134 00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:15,726 Then you can buy their seats for a fraction of the price. 135 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:17,770 Are you going through our garbage? 136 00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:21,023 That's right. You fat cats didn't finish your plankton. 137 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,442 Now it's mine. 138 00:07:26,612 --> 00:07:29,282 Hawaii, here we come. 139 00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:32,034 No. No. We're going to Paris. I can feel it. 140 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,245 Come on, Transylvania. 141 00:07:34,328 --> 00:07:36,622 {\an8}(Jamaican accent) No, mon, let's go home to Jamaica. 142 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,958 {\an8}I and I been in Babylon too long. 143 00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:41,711 WOMAN (on PA): Attention. Flight 605 to Tokyo 144 00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:43,171 is ready for departure 145 00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,423 and has four available mega-saver seats. 146 00:07:45,506 --> 00:07:47,967 -BART AND LISA: Yeah! -Come on, Homer. Japan. 147 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:50,344 No, not Japan, Jamaica. 148 00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:53,181 I want to pass the dutchie on the left-hand side. 149 00:07:53,264 --> 00:07:57,101 Never mind. Looks like the Flanders are gonna get those seats anyway. 150 00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:01,314 Oh, so Flanders thinks he can steal our vacation, huh? 151 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,900 -(groans) -Come on! 152 00:08:05,193 --> 00:08:06,110 Whoo! 153 00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,320 (horn honking) 154 00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,198 Sayonara, suckers. 155 00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,449 (snarls) 156 00:08:11,532 --> 00:08:15,286 Yay! The Simpsons are going to Japan. 157 00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:16,704 (gong sounds) 158 00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:18,331 Hey, watch the gong, jerk. 159 00:08:26,047 --> 00:08:28,966 Come on, Homer. Japan will be fun. 160 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:30,510 You liked Rashomon. 161 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,303 That's not how I remember it. 162 00:08:32,386 --> 00:08:34,430 Besides, if we wanna see Japanese people, 163 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:35,806 we could have gone to the zoo. 164 00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,683 -Homer! -What? 165 00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:40,394 The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese. 166 00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:41,979 His name is Takashi. 167 00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:43,356 He's in my book club. 168 00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:46,692 Look, Mom. The safety instructions are written in Haiku. 169 00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,819 "Fasten seat belts tight. 170 00:08:48,903 --> 00:08:51,072 Your seat cushions float gently. 171 00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:52,865 Headsets, five dollars." 172 00:08:55,576 --> 00:08:57,161 (beeping) 173 00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:00,831 Sir, it is not safe to use electronic devices yet. 174 00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:01,874 You're the waitress. 175 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,712 ATTENDANT: Turn it back on! Turn it back on! 176 00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:12,093 Ooh. I never knew Jim Belushi made so many movies. 177 00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:14,262 Yeah, isn't it amazing? 178 00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,305 They're filming one right now in the bathroom. 179 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:17,848 Gonna be on towards the end of the flight. 180 00:09:19,684 --> 00:09:23,354 Toga! Toga! Toga 2,000! 181 00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:25,898 Marge, they stole my idea. 182 00:09:27,358 --> 00:09:28,776 MAN (on PA): Welcome to Japan, folks. 183 00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:31,862 The local time is... tomorrow. 184 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:38,953 HOMER: Here's our room. 185 00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:43,291 Homer, you're supposed to slide those doors open. 186 00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:45,084 I don't have time for that. 187 00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,460 (grunts) 188 00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:51,507 MALE VOICE: Welcome. I am honored to accept your waste. 189 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:55,928 (beeps, bells chiming) 190 00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:59,807 (gasps) They're years ahead of us. 191 00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:02,810 Mom! Lise! Check it out. Dad's on TV. 192 00:10:04,061 --> 00:10:06,522 Oh, yeah! 193 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:07,773 (Marge, Bart, Lisa screaming) 194 00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:12,612 (gasps) It's breathtaking. 195 00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:15,072 Look. There's the Imperial Gardens. 196 00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:16,907 The Meiji Shrine. 197 00:10:16,991 --> 00:10:19,076 The Hello Kitty factory. 198 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:22,997 (cats yowling) 199 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,000 Who's up for some exploring? 200 00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:28,085 Hey, I'm still checking out Japanese TV. 201 00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:30,421 Isn't this that cartoon that causes seizures? 202 00:10:30,504 --> 00:10:32,840 (beeping) 203 00:10:32,923 --> 00:10:36,427 (grunting, groaning) 204 00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:38,721 -Bart, what are you doing? -(grunting, groaning) 205 00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:42,266 Hey, what the... (grunting, groaning) 206 00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:43,726 Hmm. All right. 207 00:10:43,809 --> 00:10:46,812 (grunting, groaning) 208 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:47,938 Robots be right back. 209 00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:49,607 -(cow mooing) -Whoo! 210 00:10:49,690 --> 00:10:51,734 -All that seizing made me hungry. -Me too. 211 00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:54,236 Let's go to an authentic Japanese noodle house. 212 00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,864 The toilet recommended a place called Americatown. 213 00:10:56,947 --> 00:11:01,369 Dad, we didn't come halfway around the world to eat at Americatown. 214 00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:04,830 I'd like to see the Japanese take on the club sandwich. 215 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:07,667 I bet it's smaller and more efficient. 216 00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:10,628 MAN (on TV): We now return to battling seizure robots. 217 00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:14,340 -(beeping) -(all groaning) 218 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:22,640 (mechanical clicking) 219 00:11:22,723 --> 00:11:25,518 I can't believe they stuck us at "Tax-A-Chusetts." 220 00:11:26,811 --> 00:11:29,146 Hey, you know, I once knew a man from Nantucket. 221 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:30,606 -And? -Let's just say 222 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:34,193 the stories about him are greatly exaggerated. 223 00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:36,028 Howdy, gangstas. 224 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:39,156 I am average American Joe salary-man waiter. 225 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,702 These prices suck. 10,000 yen for coleslaw? 226 00:11:42,785 --> 00:11:46,038 Don't you serve anything that's even remotely Japanese? 227 00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:48,541 Don't ask me. I don't know anything. 228 00:11:48,624 --> 00:11:51,168 I am product of American education system. 229 00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:56,132 I also build poor-quality cars and inferior-style electronics. 230 00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,842 (laughs) 231 00:11:57,925 --> 00:11:59,552 Oh, they got our number. 232 00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:05,182 One square watermelon, please. 233 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:08,894 Oh, my goodness. Homer, those are $150. 234 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,938 It's worth every cent. 235 00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:13,190 I'm tired of fumbling with round fruit. 236 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:14,525 D'oh! 237 00:12:14,608 --> 00:12:17,570 Well, maybe we should just head back to the hotel. 238 00:12:17,653 --> 00:12:20,156 But you promised me we'd do something Japanese. 239 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:22,116 Oh, of course you're right. 240 00:12:22,199 --> 00:12:25,077 You know, I read about a Shinto teahouse 241 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,246 where they practice the traditional... 242 00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:28,748 Run, Bart! 243 00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,584 Hey, look, isn't that Woody Allen? 244 00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,711 Hmm. Looks like he's doing a commercial. 245 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,422 Oh! (clears throat) Hello. 246 00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:39,383 (clears throat) So many rice crackers claim to be low-cal, 247 00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:43,888 but only Fujikawa Rice Crackers make your interiors go bananas. 248 00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:46,348 What did I do to deserve this? 249 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,516 Oh, right. 250 00:12:53,522 --> 00:12:57,485 Mmm. Fifty-dollar pretzels. 251 00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:58,861 Hey, what's Baby Huey doin'? 252 00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:01,906 Says here they throw salt before they wrestle to purify the ring. 253 00:13:01,989 --> 00:13:02,907 Hmm. 254 00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:05,785 Spare some salt, tubby? 255 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:06,827 {\an8}Tubby? 256 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,663 {\an8}(speaking in Japanese) 257 00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,835 -Yoink. -Hey, that's mine! 258 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:16,086 (yells) Hey. 259 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,547 -(grunts) -(crowd groans) 260 00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:22,092 Like we say in my county, "hasta la vista, baby." 261 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:23,636 Congratulations. 262 00:13:23,719 --> 00:13:26,055 I am the emperor. 263 00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,140 Yeah? And I'm "Clobbersaurus." 264 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,643 (screaming) 265 00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:33,979 -(gasping, sighing) -(crowd exclaiming) 266 00:13:34,980 --> 00:13:37,358 All hail Emperor Clobbersaurus. 267 00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:40,319 (booing) 268 00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:49,578 Your wife has paid your bail, Mr. Simpson-san. 269 00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:53,415 Thank god. Couldn't take another minute in this hellhole. 270 00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:56,335 (chomping) 271 00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:05,261 Now can we do something Japanese? 272 00:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,388 Oh, I'm sick of doing Japanese stuff. 273 00:14:07,471 --> 00:14:10,516 In jail, we had to be in this dumb Kabuki play 274 00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,393 about the 47 Ronin 275 00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:15,187 and I wanted to be Yoshi, but they made me Ori. 276 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:17,064 Then we had to do two hours of origami 277 00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:19,358 followed by flower arranging and meditation. 278 00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:22,403 {\an8}(speaking in Japanese) 279 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,365 Honey, I know you want to see Japan, 280 00:14:26,448 --> 00:14:28,701 but we're down to our last million yen. 281 00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:31,120 Don't worry, ichiban. 282 00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:33,414 I'll show you something Japanese. 283 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:39,086 Oh, it's beautiful, Dad. 284 00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:40,504 It's a crane. 285 00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:43,507 The Japanese believe they bring good luck. 286 00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:47,052 Oh, be careful. We need that money to get home. 287 00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:48,220 (Marge gasps) No! 288 00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:49,805 {\an8}(speaking in Japanese) 289 00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,646 MAN: Now, Mr. Simpson, I know you lost all your money, but don't worry. 290 00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:00,858 The United States will not stand idly by 291 00:15:00,941 --> 00:15:03,819 while one of its citizens is stuck here like this. 292 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,238 (grunts, groans) 293 00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:09,742 But, Mr. Ambassador, how are we going to get home? 294 00:15:09,825 --> 00:15:11,160 Beats me. 295 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,287 Try getting a job and earning some money. 296 00:15:13,370 --> 00:15:14,705 That's what I did. 297 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:15,789 By the way, "ambassador" is taken. 298 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,336 (groaning) 299 00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:25,674 Every truckload of fish we gut 300 00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:28,969 brings us 31 cents closer to those tickets home. 301 00:15:29,053 --> 00:15:32,431 And I think I finally found what I was put on this Earth to do. 302 00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:35,935 Knife goes in, guts come out. Knife goes in, guts come out. 303 00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:39,063 Spare my life and I will grant you three wi-- 304 00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:40,773 -(screams) -Knife goes in, guts come out. 305 00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:44,151 Yippee! Time for the company loyalty song. 306 00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:47,196 ♪ Knife goes in, guts come out ♪ 307 00:15:47,279 --> 00:15:50,574 ♪ That's what Osaka Seafood Concern is all about ♪ 308 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:51,992 (groans) 309 00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,120 Well, this sucks. What else is on? 310 00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:59,500 -(bell ringing) -(cheering) 311 00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:01,335 (laughs) Thank you. 312 00:16:01,418 --> 00:16:04,296 You have fulfilled our dreams and dreams of our ancestors. 313 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,924 MALE ANNOUNCER: Tune in tomorrow, when another lucky family 314 00:16:07,007 --> 00:16:08,634 tries to win their dreams on 315 00:16:08,717 --> 00:16:11,887 Happy Smile Super Challenge Family Wish Show. 316 00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:15,557 Family Wish Show. Hmm. 317 00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,518 That gives me an idea. 318 00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:19,770 I think we all had that idea. 319 00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:22,940 I didn't. What is it? Lunch? 320 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,486 (audience cheering, applauding) 321 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,197 Thank you, thank you. 322 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:34,743 And welcome to our contestants from America, the Simpson family. 323 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,370 You honor us. 324 00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:38,163 Don't patronize me. 325 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:41,959 Now, Simpson family, have you picked a wish? 326 00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:44,795 Well, I haven't talked it over with the family, 327 00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:48,257 but I think we'd all like a free dinner at Americatown. 328 00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:52,428 No, no, no. We want plane tickets home to Springfield. 329 00:16:52,511 --> 00:16:54,638 (cheering, whistling) 330 00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:58,809 Now, our game shows are a little different from yours. 331 00:16:58,892 --> 00:17:01,186 Your shows reward knowledge. 332 00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,230 We punish ignorance. 333 00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,441 Ignor-what? (screams) 334 00:17:05,524 --> 00:17:06,859 (laughing) 335 00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:10,070 Okay, let's begin. Our categories are: 336 00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:11,780 "Ow. That Hurts." 337 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,574 "Why Are You Doing This to Me?" 338 00:17:13,657 --> 00:17:16,160 and "Please Let Me Die." 339 00:17:17,202 --> 00:17:18,537 BART: Oh, yeah, number one. Definitely. 340 00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:19,788 MARGE: I don't know... 341 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,123 HOMER: "Ow. That hurts." 342 00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,542 We'll go with "Ow. That hurts," Skip. 343 00:17:23,625 --> 00:17:25,711 My name is Wink. 344 00:17:25,794 --> 00:17:27,212 Yeesh! 345 00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:29,423 (laughing, chattering) 346 00:17:31,383 --> 00:17:34,720 All right, Simpsons, whack the pinata. 347 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:36,180 -(groaning) -Come on! 348 00:17:36,263 --> 00:17:38,474 Whack that pig open. Once more. 349 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,559 Harder. Whack it open. 350 00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:42,061 -(laughing) -HOST: Good. 351 00:17:42,144 --> 00:17:43,479 All right. 352 00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:45,606 You may remove your blindfolds. 353 00:17:45,689 --> 00:17:46,732 (groaning) 354 00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:49,693 Oh, sorry, Dad. We didn't know. 355 00:17:49,777 --> 00:17:50,694 I had an inkling. 356 00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,780 Could someone please whack my hernia back in? 357 00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:53,906 Sure thing, Dad. 358 00:17:53,989 --> 00:17:56,158 Mr. Simpson, we'll cut you down 359 00:17:56,241 --> 00:18:00,412 as soon as you answer one question about Japan. 360 00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:01,622 Is the answer "Japan"? 361 00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:04,208 Actually, it is. 362 00:18:04,291 --> 00:18:06,919 (speaking in Japanese) 363 00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:09,922 That means you move on to the lightning round. 364 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:12,007 Oh! 365 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:14,134 (thunder rumbling) 366 00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:15,260 (screams) 367 00:18:15,344 --> 00:18:16,637 He seems okay, 368 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,431 but he is being burned internally. 369 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:22,434 (applauding, whistling) 370 00:18:22,518 --> 00:18:24,561 (screaming) 371 00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:27,648 Hey, isn't that Homer on the Japanese channel? 372 00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:30,859 If that's Homer, then who the hell's been puttin' beers on his tab? 373 00:18:32,569 --> 00:18:34,863 D'oh. Whoo-hoo. 374 00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:37,741 Uh... that boy ain't right. 375 00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:41,036 HOST: Congratulations, Simpsons. 376 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,163 The airline tickets are yours. 377 00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:45,833 All you have to do is to pick them up... 378 00:18:47,209 --> 00:18:49,753 from inside that volcano. 379 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,630 Why are you so cruel? 380 00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:52,631 (laughing) 381 00:18:52,714 --> 00:18:55,259 (all grunting) 382 00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:58,387 This vacation really blows. 383 00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:00,514 Well, at least we're past the lightning round. 384 00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:03,559 (screams) Hmm. I see. 385 00:19:03,642 --> 00:19:06,395 I sure hope they don't have an ice cream round. 386 00:19:06,478 --> 00:19:07,688 (screams) 387 00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:15,028 Mmm. I don't think that bridge can support much weight. 388 00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:19,658 Well, Maggie weighs a lot less than-- Oh, I'll just go. 389 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,871 (whimpering) 390 00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:27,958 (chanting) Plummet! Plummet! Plummet! Plummet! 391 00:19:28,041 --> 00:19:30,961 -Plummet! Plummet! Plummet! -Easy, easy... 392 00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:33,338 Yes! Got 'em. 393 00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:36,717 TOGETHER: USA! USA! 394 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:37,759 -US-- -(buzzes) 395 00:19:37,843 --> 00:19:39,428 (screams, grunts) 396 00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:42,347 (gasps) Lisa! 397 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:47,895 -(screams) -(grunts) 398 00:19:50,564 --> 00:19:51,940 MARGE: Oh! 399 00:19:52,024 --> 00:19:53,525 Marge! Your shoe! 400 00:19:54,735 --> 00:19:56,695 MARGE AND LISA: Aah! Aah! Aah! 401 00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:59,281 The plane tickets! (grunting) 402 00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:00,365 -MARGE: Oh! -LISA: Ow! 403 00:20:01,408 --> 00:20:02,868 Whoa! Whoa! 404 00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:08,874 Oh, I'm afraid this might be the end. 405 00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:11,793 Well, at least we'll die doing what we love... 406 00:20:11,877 --> 00:20:13,378 inhaling molten rock. 407 00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:16,632 (all screaming) 408 00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:18,258 (cheering) 409 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:22,471 (screams) It burns! It burns! 410 00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:26,475 Don't worry, that "lava" is just orangeade 411 00:20:26,558 --> 00:20:30,270 made by our sponsor, Osaka Orangeade Concern. 412 00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:32,189 It burns! It burns! 413 00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:34,358 It's loaded with wasabi. 414 00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:38,111 Kudos, Simpsons. You have won your freedom. 415 00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:40,489 (audience cheering) 416 00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,244 Before I go, I want to say something. 417 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,246 Game shows aren't about cruelty. 418 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,873 They're about greed and wonderful prizes, 419 00:20:49,957 --> 00:20:51,750 like poorly built catamarans. 420 00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:55,295 But somewhere along the line, you lost your way. 421 00:20:55,379 --> 00:20:56,296 For shame. 422 00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:57,756 (groaning) 423 00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:01,677 Coming up next, a Canadian couple 424 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:05,347 who say they are deathly afraid of scorpions. 425 00:21:05,430 --> 00:21:07,599 (applause and whistling) 426 00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:09,393 Oh, that stings, eh. 427 00:21:09,476 --> 00:21:12,229 -(screams) -Ooh, god! Ow! Ooh! 428 00:21:12,312 --> 00:21:14,398 -(screaming) -Sting those Canucks. 429 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:16,942 (laughs) I love this show. 430 00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:18,443 Take that, you stupid hosers. 431 00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:19,611 (groans) 432 00:21:20,654 --> 00:21:21,488 BART: Good-bye, Japan. 433 00:21:21,571 --> 00:21:23,198 I'll miss your Kentucky Fried Chicken 434 00:21:23,282 --> 00:21:25,575 and your sparkling, whale-free seas. 435 00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:27,452 -Hey, what's goin' on? -What's happening? 436 00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,454 (beeping) 437 00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:31,498 MAN (on PA): Folks, we're experiencing 438 00:21:31,581 --> 00:21:34,209 some moderate Godzilla-related turbulence at this time, 439 00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:35,711 -so I'm gonna go ahead and ask you... -(screeches) 440 00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:37,170 ...to put your seat belts back on. 441 00:21:37,254 --> 00:21:40,507 When we get to 35,000 feet, he usually does let go. 442 00:21:40,590 --> 00:21:42,259 So from there on out, all we have to do 443 00:21:42,342 --> 00:21:43,677 -is worry about Mothra... -(yawning) 444 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,512 ...and we do have reports he's tied up 445 00:21:45,595 --> 00:21:47,723 with Gamera and Rodan at the present time. 446 00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:49,016 Thank you very much. 447 00:21:49,099 --> 00:21:51,393 (roaring, screeching) 448 00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:56,273 (Godzilla screeches) 449 00:22:43,653 --> 00:22:45,238 {\an8}HOMER (screams): Undo! Undo! 450 00:22:45,322 --> 00:22:46,156 {\an8}(groans) 451 00:22:46,239 --> 00:22:48,241 {\an8}Captioned by Visual Data Media Services