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ANNOUNCER: Live
from fabulous Centauri City.
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00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:09,634
It's the Simpsons Tenth Halloween Special.
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00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:11,845
Now, please welcome your hosts,
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If you haven't been probed by these two,
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you haven't been probed.
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Kang and Kodos.
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(crowd cheering)
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(smacking lips loudly)
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Thank you. Thank you.
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Yes, thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
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Welcome to our tenth anniversary show.
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Oh, we've got a great--
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Kang, what are you doing?
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Well, you said we were
going to warm up the audience.
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(canned laughter)
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(grunts) Ladies and gentlemen
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I have to apologize for my partner.
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He had to borrow a human brain.
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(canned laughter and applause)
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{\an8}What do aliens have to do with Halloween?
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{\an8}(man's voice) Silence.
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(tires screeching)
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I still can't believe we escaped
from those horrible vampires.
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But it was worth it to get back our
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Super Sugar Crisp cereal.
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♪ Can't get enough
with that Sugar Crisp... ♪
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{\an8}I'm having a hard time seeing.
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{\an8}Homer, did you remember
to put the fog lights in?
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{\an8}♪ Guess I forgot
to put the fog lights in ♪
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{\an8}I better pull over and play it safe.
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{\an8}(loud thud)
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{\an8}(gasps)
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{\an8}Please be a dog.
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{\an8}(gasping)
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{\an8}Oh, no!
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{\an8}Ned Flanders.
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{\an8}-(squish)
-He's dead.
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{\an8}(squishing)
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{\an8}He's definitely dead.
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{\an8}(squishing)
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{\an8}Oh, my God.
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{\an8}We killed Ned Flanders.
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{\an8}You mean, you killed Ned Flanders.
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{\an8}Oh, it was an accident. An accident!
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{\an8}We got to go to the police.
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{\an8}They'll never believe
a Simpson killed a Flanders
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by accident.
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00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:06,918
{\an8}Even I have my doubts.
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{\an8}Don't worry, I got a plan.
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{\an8}OK, Ned, the first thing we have to do
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{\an8}(whispering) is to make sure
that no one knows that you're dead.
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{\an8}If anyone asks you,
just say that you're not dead.
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Hey, Maude!
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Look who's helping me clean the chimney.
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Neddy?
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Where have you been?
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Hi, Maude... Diddily.
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I've been having fun with my pal Homer.
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Diddily.
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Oh, I'm so relieved.
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Whenever you go on one
of your late-night fog walks,
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I get so worried.
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Relax. I'm fine.
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But when I do die,
I don't want any autopsies.
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Well, come on down, you goofy roofy.
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-Wow, it sure is slippery up here.
-(bell dings)
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My pies are done.
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(thuds)
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Aw, she missed it.
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Hey, Maude, I'm home!
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Uh-oh, I think I'm having a heart attack!
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(thuds)
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(Maude screams)
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And that's the end of that chapter.
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(bell ringing)
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Aw. (sobbing)
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(whispering) Try not to look too sad.
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It'll seem suspicious.
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And now Ned's best friend
will say a few words.
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Homer.
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(clears throat)
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When I think about Ned,
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I can't help but remember
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the look on his face
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when Marge drove over...
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Homer shut up, shut up, shut up.
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Oh, wait.
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What I'd like to say is
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we're still looking for the real killers.
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Anyway, in conclusion,
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a man cannot be forced
to testify against his wife.
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MARGE: Stop winking.
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00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:58,529
{\an8}We'll miss you, buddy.
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00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,951
Hey, we just got away with murder.
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And it was so easy.
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00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:07,080
No, I've never liked the little wiener
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Milhouse.
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(tires screeching)
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00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:10,917
MARGE: No more murders.
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00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:12,585
But you got to kill--
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No!
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(gasps)
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Someone saw us.
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ALL: But who?
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Homer, stop that.
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(thunder rumbling)
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(phone ringing)
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Who could be calling at this hour?
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(stammering)
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Y'ello?
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(creepy voice) I know you're alone.
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00:04:41,864 --> 00:04:43,825
{\an8}Oh... who is this?
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Is this Maude Flanders?
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No, it's... Homer.
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(normal voice) Oh, hey, Homer, it's Moe.
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I must've dialed the wrong number.
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(thunder rumbling loudly)
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(all screaming)
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HOMER: Get in the car.
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(starting engine)
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(all screaming)
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Dear God, it's Homer.
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If you really love me,
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you'll save my life now.
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HOMER: D'oh.
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(engine sputtering)
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He's getting closer!
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(all gasp)
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(thunder rumbling)
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OK, Marge, you hide
in the abandoned amusement park.
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Lisa, the Pet Cemetery.
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Bart, spooky roller disco.
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And I'll go skinny-dipping in that lake
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where the sexy teens were killed
a hundred years ago tonight.
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Now, Flanders, I want you to...
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(screaming)
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It's impossible. I killed you.
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(chuckles) You can't kill
the undead, silly.
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(squishes)
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He's undead, all right.
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Are you a zombie?
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Oh, I wish.
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You see, that night
when you hit me with your car...
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I'm making record time on this fog walk.
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(wolf howling)
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Better pick up the pace.
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(howling continues)
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(growling)
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(screaming)
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♪ Guess I forgot to put
the fog lights in ♪
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MARGE: I better pull over
and play it safe.
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(tires screeching)
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{\an8}So you were going to kill us?
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(chuckling) Yeah.
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(all laughing)
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(growling)
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Hey, foamy, I want the news,
not the weather.
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(laughs)
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Marge, did you hear me zing
werewolf Flanders?
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(growling)
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Diddily.
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{\an8}(stammering)
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(terrified panting)
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-(growling)
-(grunting)
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Flanders stop that.
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(gobbling noises)
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Eyes bigger than
your stomach, eh, wolfie?
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-(laughing mockingly)
-(Flanders snarls)
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You... No!... Aah! Ow!
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(Homer screaming)
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Well, well, well, if it isn't
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the cutest police officer in Springfield.
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Hey, you know,
we got feelings, too, chief.
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Just dump your candy
on the X- ray belt, Ralphie.
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There's a good boy.
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Safe. Safe.
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Razor blade. Syringe.
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Ooh, white chocolate.
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Check it out, Lisa.
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I'm radioactive man.
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{\an8}I don't think the real radioactive man
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{\an8}wears a plastic smock
with a picture of himself on it.
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He would on Halloween.
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(grunting)
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Get in there, you stupid pillowcase.
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00:07:57,435 --> 00:07:59,061
Stop it. You'll jam the machine.
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(rumbling)
188
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:03,107
Uh-oh. Radiation! Duck and cover!
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(screaming)
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Cool!
191
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Bart!
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00:08:09,238 --> 00:08:11,073
Oh, my god! Lisa!
193
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:13,743
She's been crushed
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and so have the hopes
of our mathletics team.
195
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Hold the funeral, poindexter.
196
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,167
"Poindexter?"
197
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(grunting)
198
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,420
Whoa, Lise, those X-rays
199
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,255
must have given you super strength!
200
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,132
{\an8}I wonder if I got any powers.
201
00:08:30,092 --> 00:08:30,968
{\an8}Nope, looks normal.
202
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:32,762
{\an8}Wait a minute.
203
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:33,888
{\an8}I can stretch.
204
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,433
{\an8}Look at me! Ow!
205
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,768
{\an8}Hot-hot-hot!
206
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I must only use this power to annoy.
207
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:44,732
(knocking at door)
208
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,317
Now, who could that be at this hour?
209
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:50,947
Yes? Yes? Up? Down? Side to side?
210
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,031
What's your point?
211
00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:53,115
Ow!
212
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,325
(laughing)
213
00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:55,368
I Gotcha.
214
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:56,661
Bart, with these powers,
215
00:08:56,744 --> 00:08:58,371
we can become superheroes.
216
00:08:58,829 --> 00:09:00,414
OK, so do it, already.
217
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,752
♪ Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl ♪
218
00:09:04,835 --> 00:09:08,548
♪ He's a human rubber band
and she's the hulk in pearls ♪
219
00:09:09,257 --> 00:09:10,675
♪ He's a limber lad ♪
220
00:09:10,758 --> 00:09:11,926
♪ She's a powerful lass ♪
221
00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:13,261
♪ He'll wring your neck ♪
222
00:09:13,344 --> 00:09:16,097
♪ And she'll kick your ass ♪
223
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,974
♪ They're Stretch Dude ♪
224
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:21,435
♪ And Clobber Girl ♪
225
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:23,896
♪ Stretch Dude, Clobber Girl ♪
226
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,942
ANNOUNCER: Tonight's episode:
"Enter the Collector."
227
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:31,946
But I'm sure that once girls
get to know the real you
228
00:09:32,029 --> 00:09:33,406
you'll get plenty of dates.
229
00:09:33,489 --> 00:09:34,657
Next question.
230
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,033
Yes, over here.
231
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,159
(clearing throat)
232
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:39,161
In episode BF12,
233
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,955
you were battling Barbarians
234
00:09:41,038 --> 00:09:43,124
while riding a winged appaloosa
235
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:44,750
yet in the very next scene, my dear,
236
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:47,420
you're clearly atop a winged Arabian.
237
00:09:47,503 --> 00:09:48,629
Please to explain it.
238
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,298
Ah. Yeah. Well,
239
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:52,341
whenever you notice something like that,
240
00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:53,259
a wizard did it.
241
00:09:53,342 --> 00:09:54,552
I see. All right. Yes.
242
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:56,012
But in episode AG4...
243
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,972
{\an8}-Wizard.
-Ah. For glayvin out loud.
244
00:09:58,055 --> 00:09:59,807
(glass shattering)
245
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:02,852
Behold! I am the Collector
246
00:10:02,935 --> 00:10:05,771
and I'm here to add you to my collection.
247
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:10,109
(clanking)
248
00:10:11,235 --> 00:10:12,445
(grunting)
249
00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:16,032
Must remove... my breastplate!
250
00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:17,116
(groaning)
251
00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:18,326
Maybe later.
252
00:10:20,953 --> 00:10:23,581
Care for a Rolo, sweet Xena?
253
00:10:23,664 --> 00:10:25,708
All right, Collector,
stick this in your tweezers.
254
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:26,876
I'm not Xena!
255
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,336
I'm an actress, you lunatic!
256
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:29,337
Oh, please.
257
00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:30,755
I'm not insane.
258
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:33,132
I simply wish to take you back to my lair
259
00:10:33,215 --> 00:10:34,300
and make you my bride.
260
00:10:34,383 --> 00:10:35,968
Oh, dear God!
261
00:10:40,389 --> 00:10:41,641
Clobber Girl?
262
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:42,850
(grunting)
263
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:44,894
Thank you.
264
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,313
Help!
265
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:50,941
It's Xena!
266
00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:52,526
She's been kidnapped.
267
00:10:52,610 --> 00:10:53,569
-(gasps)
-Come on.
268
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:58,658
Remember, you're vulnerable to kryptonite.
269
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:00,785
Geez, Marge, tell the neighborhood!
270
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,458
Fear not, my syndicated sweetie.
271
00:11:07,792 --> 00:11:10,378
You'll be preserved in this mylar pouch
272
00:11:10,461 --> 00:11:14,215
forever remaining in...
near-mint condition
273
00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:17,134
between Dr. Who and,
of course, Yasmine Bleeth.
274
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:18,302
I don't think so.
275
00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:20,638
(grunting)
276
00:11:20,721 --> 00:11:21,597
I don't think so either.
277
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:25,101
{\an8}(mocking in sing-song voice)
278
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,854
Your collecting days are over, Collector.
279
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,815
Stop right there!
280
00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:33,776
I have here the only
working phaser ever built.
281
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:36,445
It was fired only once
to keep William Shatner
282
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,780
from making another album.
283
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,366
Stretch dude-- Help!
284
00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:41,450
Just a sec.
285
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,789
(grunting)
286
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:49,291
(phaser humming)
287
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:52,128
-Whoa!
-Hey, phaser, phaser, phaser. Zing!
288
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,046
(phaser clicking)
289
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,507
-(groans)
-Ne ne!
290
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:03,597
Good night, "Retch" Dude
and "Slobber" Girl.
291
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,558
Sweet screams.
292
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:08,602
(Collector laughs)
I'm unbelievably amused.
293
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:09,562
(grunting and groaning)
294
00:12:09,645 --> 00:12:11,355
Soon, those bratty buttinskies
295
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:12,857
will be encased in lucite
296
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:14,400
for all eternity.
297
00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:16,152
While we're waiting, here's some names
298
00:12:16,235 --> 00:12:17,862
you may call me on our wedding night.
299
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:18,946
(clears throat)
300
00:12:19,029 --> 00:12:20,573
"Obi-Wan," "Iron Man,"
301
00:12:20,656 --> 00:12:22,199
"Mr. Mxyzptlk"
302
00:12:22,283 --> 00:12:24,076
and, of course, "Big Papa Smurf."
303
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,619
What do you need me for?
304
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:28,080
You could have your choice of
any of the women in these bags.
305
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:29,707
You would think so, but no.
306
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:31,167
Really?
307
00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:35,796
Well, I mean, maybe
we are meant for each other.
308
00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,757
Growing up, I was always tall for my age
309
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,008
and the other kids made fun of me.
310
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:40,634
I... I always hoped
311
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,136
for another misunderstood soul
312
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:43,846
to share my pain and...
313
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:46,140
you could be that soul, Collector.
314
00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:47,308
Oh...
315
00:12:47,391 --> 00:12:48,893
Come here, you.
316
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:51,020
Xena needs xex.
317
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:53,939
(chuckles)
318
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:56,984
Got your lips!
319
00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,110
(grunting)
320
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,488
(yells)
321
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:02,198
Oh!
322
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:03,240
You tricked me
323
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:04,992
with a ruse so hackneyed
324
00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:07,745
-it would make Stan Lee blush.
-Shut up.
325
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:08,954
(screaming war cries)
326
00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,874
{\an8}(yelling)
327
00:13:13,375 --> 00:13:14,543
Oh! Ow!
328
00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:16,045
Ow, that hurts!
329
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:22,301
Bart, just let me drop and save yourself.
330
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,345
What do you think I've been trying to do?
331
00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:27,014
Aha!
332
00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:30,017
Not even Xena is a match
for the limited edition
333
00:13:30,100 --> 00:13:31,852
double-edged light saber
334
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:34,980
from Star Wars Episode I:
The Phantom Menace.
335
00:13:35,856 --> 00:13:37,274
(light saber humming)
336
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:38,442
(gasps)
337
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,986
You removed it
from its original packaging.
338
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,571
(gasping) No!
339
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,281
It's no longer a collectible.
340
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:47,243
(screaming)
341
00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:50,996
What a nerd.
342
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,331
Lucite hardening...
343
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:53,958
{\an8}Must end life
344
00:13:54,041 --> 00:13:56,085
in classic Lorne Greene pose
345
00:13:56,168 --> 00:13:58,128
from Battlestar Galactica.
346
00:13:58,212 --> 00:13:59,964
(grunting)
347
00:14:00,464 --> 00:14:03,342
Best... death... ever.
348
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:06,470
Wow.
349
00:14:06,554 --> 00:14:07,596
Thanks for saving us.
350
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,806
No problem.
351
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:10,099
Now, let's get you kids home.
352
00:14:10,891 --> 00:14:11,851
Wait a minute.
353
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:12,977
Xena can't fly.
354
00:14:13,060 --> 00:14:14,812
I told you. I'm not Xena.
355
00:14:15,187 --> 00:14:16,772
-I'm Lucy Lawless.
-Oh.
356
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,483
♪ Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl ♪
357
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:24,238
(rock music playing)
358
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:33,289
This is Dick Clark,
rockin' down to the year 2000
359
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,331
and that was Whitesnake.
360
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:36,000
We're not Whitesnake, dude.
361
00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:37,209
We're Poison.
362
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,420
{\an8}I thought we were Quiet Riot.
363
00:14:39,503 --> 00:14:41,088
It says here we're Ratt.
364
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,299
...he hit rock bottom.
365
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:47,136
Man alive, what a stinko thousand years.
366
00:14:47,219 --> 00:14:49,680
Blimp wrecks, teenagers...
367
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:52,224
Then again, we had two TV shows
with Andy Griffith.
368
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,934
And 11 with Robert Urich.
369
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:57,646
♪ Super freak Super freak ♪
370
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,148
♪ I'm super freakin' ♪
371
00:14:59,231 --> 00:15:00,357
♪ Yow ♪
372
00:15:01,066 --> 00:15:02,568
Oh, man, what'd I do now?
373
00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,403
Wonderful. Now, that song is dedicated
374
00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:05,487
to all you super geeks
375
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:06,822
who rocked around the clock
376
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:10,409
to exterminate America's Y2K bugs.
Slammin'!
377
00:15:10,492 --> 00:15:14,538
Hey, Homer, weren't you the plant's
Y2K compliance officer?
378
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:15,873
Absolutely.
379
00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:18,751
Must have been hard debugging
all those computers, huh, Homer?
380
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:19,877
{\an8}Doing what now?
381
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,795
{\an8}You did fix them, right, Dad?
382
00:15:21,879 --> 00:15:24,465
Because even a single
faulty unit could corrupt
383
00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:26,800
every other computer in the world.
384
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,636
That can't be true, Honey.
385
00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,055
If it were, I'd be terrified.
386
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,599
{\an8}Eight, seven, six...
387
00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:35,809
{\an8}We want to thank Dixie brand mayonnaise.
388
00:15:35,893 --> 00:15:37,895
{\an8}Whoo lawdy, what a mayonnaise.
389
00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:39,146
{\an8}Three, two...
390
00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:41,774
{\an8}(buzzer)
391
00:15:42,316 --> 00:15:43,817
That's Homer Simpsons's computer.
392
00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:45,527
Oh, God. It's spreading!
393
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:49,907
Happy New... Wha...?
394
00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:51,825
Oh, no. It's happening.
395
00:15:55,079 --> 00:15:56,664
(screaming)
396
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:00,876
Uh-oh.
397
00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:03,796
(screaming)
398
00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,382
("Auld Lang Syne" playing)
399
00:16:14,014 --> 00:16:15,808
Ha! Wha...?
400
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:16,767
(muffled) Ha.
401
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:22,982
(grunts)
402
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:26,235
Who's going to clean up all those jets?
403
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:27,695
(crashing continues)
404
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,406
There goes the clothesline.
405
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,659
Well, those ivory tower
eggheads have screwed us again.
406
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:34,702
(chuckles)
407
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,204
Let's just have some milk and go to bed.
408
00:16:37,287 --> 00:16:38,205
(yells)
409
00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:39,957
Hey, this milk's broken!
410
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,542
{\an8}It's got a computer chip in it.
411
00:16:41,625 --> 00:16:42,876
Everything does.
412
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,044
-(alarm ringing)
-(both gasp)
413
00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:47,131
-(doors slamming)
-(motors whirring)
414
00:16:47,214 --> 00:16:48,340
D'oh! Ow!
415
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:49,508
(muttering)
416
00:16:51,427 --> 00:16:53,262
(yowling)
417
00:16:53,345 --> 00:16:54,304
{\an8}(groaning in fear)
418
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:57,224
(yelling)
419
00:16:57,307 --> 00:17:00,019
Judgment Day is upon us.
420
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:02,438
I warned you the Lord wouldn't stand
421
00:17:02,521 --> 00:17:04,523
for your minidresses and Beatle boots...
422
00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:08,360
I resisted these for 35 years.
423
00:17:08,444 --> 00:17:09,695
Why did I wear them today?
424
00:17:09,778 --> 00:17:12,948
But it's not too late
to repent your sins
425
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,409
and be embraced by the almighty!
426
00:17:15,492 --> 00:17:17,286
Hey, everybody, they're looting the mall.
427
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:19,830
Hurry! I got nine shoe buffers.
428
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:21,874
(all cheering)
429
00:17:24,001 --> 00:17:25,544
I'm caught on something.
430
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:27,212
I don't want you looting.
431
00:17:27,296 --> 00:17:29,339
But I was going to loot you a present.
432
00:17:29,423 --> 00:17:30,466
Oh, all right.
433
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:31,759
Yay!
434
00:17:31,842 --> 00:17:33,385
(sirens blaring)
435
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:36,597
(screaming and yelling)
436
00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:40,142
Oh, thank you, Homey.
437
00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:41,810
A lady Remington.
438
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,270
(whirring)
439
00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:44,271
(yells)
440
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,110
{\an8}(yelling)
441
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:58,994
{\an8}Well, look at the wonders
of the Computer Age now.
442
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:01,997
Wonders, Lisa, or blunders?
443
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,957
{\an8}I think that was implied by what I said.
444
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:07,669
Implied, Lisa, or implode?
445
00:18:08,045 --> 00:18:09,838
Mom, make him stop.
446
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:10,964
(man groaning)
447
00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:12,716
Oh, no, Krusty.
448
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,301
{\an8}(groaning continues)
449
00:18:14,384 --> 00:18:17,429
My pacemaker, it's stuck on hummingbird!
450
00:18:17,513 --> 00:18:18,680
Nectar, nectar!
451
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,599
I need to drink my weight in nectar.
452
00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:21,600
{\an8}(loud thud)
453
00:18:21,683 --> 00:18:23,852
Krusty!
454
00:18:24,853 --> 00:18:25,896
Hey, a note.
455
00:18:28,315 --> 00:18:31,276
"You have been selected
for Operation Exodus."
456
00:18:31,985 --> 00:18:33,487
They're evacuating the Earth.
457
00:18:33,570 --> 00:18:35,489
Oh, we're saved!
458
00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:39,368
(sobbing) Thank you, sweet clown.
459
00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:42,329
In death, you saved us all.
460
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:45,124
KRUSTY: (weakly) I'm not dead.
461
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:48,460
I can still hear his voice on the wind.
462
00:18:49,503 --> 00:18:50,587
BART: There it is.
463
00:18:51,880 --> 00:18:53,423
Just like the dead clown promised.
464
00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:55,801
(elevator bell dings)
465
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,012
BART: Wow. There's Bill Gates,
466
00:18:59,096 --> 00:19:01,265
Stephen Hawking, Paul McCartney,
467
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:03,517
Michael Jordan, Michelle Kwan...
468
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,561
{\an8}They must be starting
a new civilization on Mars
469
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:07,229
{\an8}with our best and brightest.
470
00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:08,564
That's us!
471
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,150
-Name, please.
-Certainly.
472
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:15,445
I am... the, uh, piano genius
from the movie Shine.
473
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:17,114
Uh-huh. And your name is?
474
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:20,701
Uh... Shiny McShine?
475
00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:22,244
Actually, he's Homer Simpson.
476
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:23,704
That's Bart. I'm Lisa.
477
00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:24,788
Lisa Simpson?
478
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,290
Oh, you're the ship's proofreader.
479
00:19:26,373 --> 00:19:27,374
Welcome aboard.
480
00:19:27,457 --> 00:19:29,001
Now, before you enter you're going
481
00:19:29,084 --> 00:19:31,128
to have to make a very difficult choice.
482
00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:33,589
You're only allowed
to take one parent with you.
483
00:19:33,672 --> 00:19:34,506
Mom.
484
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:37,509
Love you lots.
485
00:19:37,593 --> 00:19:38,969
Good-bye, Lisa.
486
00:19:39,052 --> 00:19:40,512
Remember me as I am--
487
00:19:41,054 --> 00:19:42,890
Filled with murderous rage.
488
00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:49,313
Well, son, I guess this is the end.
489
00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:52,441
{\an8}But we've both had long, full lives.
490
00:19:53,650 --> 00:19:54,776
{\an8}Oh, right.
491
00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:56,695
{\an8}Hey, look, another spaceship.
492
00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:58,197
And there's nobody guarding it.
493
00:19:58,530 --> 00:19:59,615
Let's go.
494
00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:06,496
I can't believe I destroyed the Earth.
495
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,041
Are you still talking about the Earth?
496
00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:10,584
Right, got to let it go.
497
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,461
{\an8}All that counts is we're alive
498
00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,713
{\an8}and rubbing elbows with the greats.
499
00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:16,381
{\an8}(gasps) Ooh.
500
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:17,716
{\an8}There's Ross Perot.
501
00:20:18,091 --> 00:20:19,092
Dr. Laura.
502
00:20:19,426 --> 00:20:20,385
Spike Lee.
503
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:22,471
Wait a minute.
They're not so great.
504
00:20:22,554 --> 00:20:23,805
OK, but there's
505
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,016
Dan Quayle and Courtney Love,
506
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:27,726
Tanya Harding,
507
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,186
Al Sharpton?
508
00:20:29,269 --> 00:20:31,188
(screams) Tom Arnold!
509
00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:32,648
What the hell's going on?
510
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,442
Wait. Only that ship is going to Mars.
511
00:20:35,525 --> 00:20:37,236
Ours is headed for the sun.
512
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:38,737
Yeah, ain't that a kick in the teeth?
513
00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:40,405
I mean, my shows weren't great but I never
514
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:42,199
tied people up and forced them to watch,
515
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:43,700
and I could've, 'cause I'm a big guy
516
00:20:43,784 --> 00:20:44,785
and I'm good with knots.
517
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:46,536
So, we're all going to die?
518
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:48,497
Afraid so, but, hey,
the grub's pretty good, huh?
519
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:49,957
(laughs)
520
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:52,876
The Sun?
521
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:54,586
That's the hottest place on Earth.
522
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:58,382
Gonna work on my tannage, buddy.
523
00:20:58,465 --> 00:20:59,633
Pauly Shore? Wow!
524
00:20:59,967 --> 00:21:01,927
Hey, we should do a show together, man.
525
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:03,637
That's a sure cure for the blues.
526
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:05,055
(blowing noisemaker)
527
00:21:05,138 --> 00:21:07,724
Hey, turn those frowns around!
528
00:21:07,808 --> 00:21:10,852
{\an8}Oh, no, Rosie O'Donnell!
529
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:13,397
Come on, everybody, sing along.
530
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:16,525
♪ Clang, clang, clang,
went the trolley... ♪
531
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:17,859
This side only!
532
00:21:17,943 --> 00:21:18,860
♪ Ding, ding, ding ♪
533
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,404
♪ Went the bell ♪
534
00:21:20,946 --> 00:21:23,115
♪ Zing, zing, zing, went my heartstrings ♪
535
00:21:23,198 --> 00:21:25,784
♪ From the moment I saw him, I fell ♪
536
00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:27,411
(exclaims)
537
00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:30,122
Don't worry, Dad.
We'll be dead in five minutes.
538
00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:31,123
Not fast enough.
539
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:35,085
(singing continues)
540
00:21:36,169 --> 00:21:38,171
-(sighing)
-(popping like a balloon)
541
00:21:38,255 --> 00:21:39,589
♪ Zing, zing, zing went my heart strings ♪
542
00:21:39,673 --> 00:21:44,678
♪ From the moment I saw him I fell ♪
543
00:21:45,512 --> 00:21:48,098
(theme song playing)
544
00:22:25,510 --> 00:22:28,347
(high pitched screaming)
545
00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:32,476
{\an8}Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services