﻿1
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(theme music playing)

2
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CHORUS: <i>♪ The Simpsons ♪</i>

3
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(bell ringing)

4
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(whistle blowing)

5
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(beeping)

6
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(playing the blues)

7
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(honking horn)

8
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D'oh! (screams)

9
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(brakes screeching)

10
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(moaning)

11
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(evil laughter)

12
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{\an8}These Swedish furniture designers

13
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{\an8}sure have some far-out ideas.

14
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{\an8}I mean, a green table?

15
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{\an8}I wouldn't have thought of that
in my wildest dreams.

16
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{\an8}And these bean bag chairs
look so comfortable.

17
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{\an8}(sighing) Oops!

18
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{\an8}Hey, there's someone else in here.

19
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{\an8}SEA CAPTAIN: Argh, she swallowed me whole.

20
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{\an8}You put it together yourself.

21
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{\an8}All you need is me, Allen Wrench.

22
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{\an8}(laughing)

23
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{\an8}He's named after what he is.

24
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{\an8}(clanging)

25
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{\an8}Cool costume.

26
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{\an8}(in mechanical voice) It's not a costume.

27
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{\an8}They found me inside a meteor.

28
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{\an8}Excuse me, where are your hamper lids?

29
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{\an8}(in normal voice) Hamper lids?
Uh, third floor.

30
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{\an8}(in mechanical voice) Help!
I need tungsten to live.

31
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{\an8}Tungsten!

32
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{\an8}Whoa...

33
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{\an8}Ooh, look at all these
clever pencil holders.

34
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{\an8}Ooh! I want to get the Kronk.

35
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{\an8}Mmm. You don't want something
that overshadows the pencils.

36
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{\an8}How about this... Popli?

37
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{\an8}Mom, no!

38
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{\an8}Everyone at school picks on
the Popli kids,

39
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{\an8}even I do!

40
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{\an8}I just hate them so much.

41
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{\an8}Yes, I will have the polpenlugen

42
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{\an8}and don't skimp on the doodlemunch.

43
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{\an8}How ingenious!

44
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{\an8}The forks are made out of Lego.

45
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Hmm!

46
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Hello, Simpsons!

47
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Hey, Apu, Manjula.

48
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You guys are still married?

49
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Oh, yes, sir, quite happily.

50
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{\an8}Pay up, Marge.

51
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{\an8}Say, what you got there?

52
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{\an8}I don't know, exactly.

53
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{\an8}It's from the room of lamps
that do not look like lamps.

54
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{\an8}(electrical surging)

55
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{\an8}(cooing)

56
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{\an8}Oh, little Maggie, aren't you cute

57
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:02,265
{\an8}with your little bow?

58
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{\an8}(singsong babbling)

59
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{\an8}Maggie loves baby talk.

60
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{\an8}-That was Hindi.
-(chuckling) Oh. Sorry.

61
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{\an8}So, have you two thought about kids?

62
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{\an8}Well, sure we have, but the decision

63
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{\an8}to have a child is not to be made lightly.

64
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{\an8}(blowing raspberries)

65
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{\an8}(giggling)

66
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{\an8}On the other hand, monkey see, monkey do.

67
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{\an8}(chuckling) Kids are the best, Apu.

68
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{\an8}You can teach them to hate
the things you hate.

69
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{\an8}And they practically raise themselves

70
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{\an8}what with the Internet and all.

71
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{\an8}Well, perhaps it is time.

72
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,796
{\an8}I've noticed this country
is dangerously underpopulated.

73
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Are you sure you want a child, Apu?

74
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You know I do.

75
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I mean, there comes a time in a man's life

76
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when he asks himself,

77
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"Who will float my corpse
down the Ganges?"

78
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Oh, Apu, take me now.

79
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APU: Oh, Calcutta!

80
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Hey, Apu, sitting
in the ice cream cooler, eh?

81
00:03:54,692 --> 00:03:57,070
By chilling my loins,
I increase the chances

82
00:03:57,153 --> 00:03:58,571
of impregnating my wife.

83
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Whoa-ho, too much information.

84
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Thanks for the mental picture.

85
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,370
Why don't you tell us
what you really think?

86
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,580
Would you stop spouting
those hackneyed quips?

87
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,250
Could you be any more...

88
00:04:10,333 --> 00:04:11,376
Hello?

89
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:14,003
(laughing)

90
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,421
Look, just give me some ice cream.

91
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:20,677
Um. How about one not touching your ass?

92
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:21,928
-(pager beeps)
-Oh!

93
00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:23,596
Manjula has begun to ovulate.

94
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:24,639
Ew...

95
00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:26,057
Thanks for sharing...

96
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,644
more than I wanted to know!

97
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,398
Here goes nothing.

98
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BOTH: Baby...

99
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:37,986
Baby...

100
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Oh... lemon.

101
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All that sex for nothing.

102
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{\an8}Well, that is a pretty grim assessment.

103
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,080
You know, Homer, you might want

104
00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:51,499
to open those cans before they explode.

105
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But the cans seal in the flavor.

106
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OK.

107
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So, how's the tribe coming along?

108
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Any papooses?

109
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:01,217
No. Still no luck.

110
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,679
Tell me, Homer,
did you have to take any...

111
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special steps when you
decided to have children?

112
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"Decided"?

113
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(laughing)

114
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That's classic! "Decided."

115
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Babies just happen.

116
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Well, not to us, they don't.

117
00:05:16,899 --> 00:05:18,776
Oh, Homer, we have tried everything.

118
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,862
Oysters, gravity boots,

119
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Sanjay's bed, every possible position.

120
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Really?

121
00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:26,993
On top and underneath?

122
00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,870
Eh... yes.

123
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:31,039
Well, don't worry, I can help you.

124
00:05:31,122 --> 00:05:33,499
I'm all about ideas.

125
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Kids! Come and get it!

126
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:39,213
Now, this situation is guaranteed

127
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,840
to end in pregnancy.

128
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:43,134
I'm willing to play the high school jock,

129
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but did you have to cut
the roof off my car?

130
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,889
Hup-hup-hup-hup. That's an Apu question.

131
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You're "Greg."

132
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:52,518
"Uh, gee, Betsy, it's such a nice night.

133
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:54,354
-Why don't we go all the way?
-(Homer mouthing along)

134
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:56,773
"But Greg, my dad will kill me.

135
00:05:56,856 --> 00:05:58,441
"And you have that scholarship

136
00:05:58,524 --> 00:05:59,984
to Ivy League State."

137
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"Loosen up, baby.

138
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:04,030
Tomorrow I'm shipping off to Vietnam."

139
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,075
I thought I was going to Ivy League State.

140
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:08,701
My mistake. Stay in the moment.

141
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,578
"Just promise not to forget me

142
00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:13,081
on your dinosaur-bone- digging-up trip."

143
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,290
(sighing)

144
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,792
(kissing)

145
00:06:16,292 --> 00:06:18,836
And that's my cue to exit.

146
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:26,177
Homer!

147
00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:28,805
I just wanted to invite
you to the wrap party.

148
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:31,808
And that's my cue to exit.

149
00:06:31,891 --> 00:06:33,267
(Homer humming)

150
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:37,605
BOTH: Baby...

151
00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:38,773
Baby...

152
00:06:39,732 --> 00:06:40,817
Pirate?

153
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,402
(sighing)

154
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:43,653
No, no, wait a minute!

155
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:44,779
Pirates are wild!

156
00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:45,988
We are pregnant!

157
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:49,117
(both laughing)

158
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,910
APU: Oh! Oh, get lost.

159
00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:56,999
{\an8}Man, the last nine months sure were crazy.

160
00:06:57,083 --> 00:07:00,086
{\an8}I'll say. I learned the true meaning
of Columbus Day.

161
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:02,505
I enjoyed a brief but memorable stint

162
00:07:02,588 --> 00:07:04,132
as sideshow Marge.

163
00:07:04,215 --> 00:07:06,467
I became the most popular girl in school

164
00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:08,428
But blew it by being conceited.

165
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,847
And then I learned
the true meaning of winter.

166
00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:16,227
Apu, do you still find me attractive?

167
00:07:16,310 --> 00:07:18,354
Of course I do, sweetheart.

168
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,607
You are beautiful and silky
and manageable.

169
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,860
You're reading that off
a conditioner bottle.

170
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,945
I... That's true.

171
00:07:26,028 --> 00:07:27,447
But you still have a...

172
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:28,739
(water splashing)

173
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:29,907
Ooh! Oh.

174
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,242
My water broke.

175
00:07:31,325 --> 00:07:32,827
Oh, we must drive to the hospital.

176
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:35,955
<i>Cleanup in aisle three.</i>

177
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,207
Oh, finally.

178
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:42,086
Gil's moving up to the big leagues, boy.

179
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:43,129
Aah!

180
00:07:43,212 --> 00:07:44,672
Aw, my back...

181
00:07:47,049 --> 00:07:49,427
(all snoring)

182
00:07:49,510 --> 00:07:50,887
Apu, come quick!

183
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,638
You're missing the miracle!

184
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:53,764
Oh?

185
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,268
Oh, my sweet husband,

186
00:07:58,102 --> 00:08:00,605
{\an8}say hello to your firstborn child.

187
00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:04,233
{\an8}Oh. You shall be the jewel of our lives.

188
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,903
Aw... Now, say hello
to your other seven children.

189
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,946
My... what?

190
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:11,199
(laughing) We had quite a discussion

191
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:13,451
about the funniest way
to reveal them to you.

192
00:08:13,534 --> 00:08:15,328
You have octuplets.

193
00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:19,999
It rolls off your tongue
and into your heart, "octuplets."

194
00:08:20,082 --> 00:08:21,375
{\an8}(laughing)

195
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,711
{\an8}Apu, you should have seen your face

196
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:27,006
when they showed you
those babies. (laughing)

197
00:08:27,089 --> 00:08:29,926
Yeah. It looked just like that.

198
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:37,350
Apu, say hello to Poonam, Sashi

199
00:08:37,433 --> 00:08:40,228
Pria, Uma, Anoop, Sandeep, Nabendu

200
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:42,396
and Mama's clear favorite, Gheet.

201
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:43,814
APU: How did we get eight?

202
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,608
Apu, I must confess.

203
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:47,485
When we were having trouble conceiving,

204
00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:49,654
I took fertility drugs.

205
00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:50,863
{\an8}(moans)

206
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,823
{\an8}I, too, I am afraid, am guilty

207
00:08:52,907 --> 00:08:54,951
{\an8}of monkeying with nature.

208
00:08:55,034 --> 00:08:57,954
{\an8}I slipped fertility drugs
into your breakfast squishy.

209
00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:59,497
Mm-hmm...

210
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,874
Well, that would only account
for quintuplets.

211
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:04,418
Did anyone else slip
this woman fertility drugs?

212
00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:08,589
Mine tasted like strawberry.

213
00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:10,967
Mmm. Ovulicious.

214
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:14,887
(shutters clicking)

215
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,347
Would you say you and your babies

216
00:09:16,430 --> 00:09:19,141
have a "love-eight" relationship?

217
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,434
(all chuckling)

218
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,061
(chuckling) Absolutely. Yes.

219
00:09:22,144 --> 00:09:24,230
No. Say it. We need a sound bite.

220
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,941
We have a "love-eight" relationship.

221
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:28,025
ALL: Aw.

222
00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:29,652
Yes. Kent Brockman, Channel Six.

223
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:31,362
How would you respond to people who say

224
00:09:31,445 --> 00:09:33,030
this kind of multiple birth

225
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:37,285
is more suited to, say,
a possum than a human being?

226
00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:39,579
Wha-- Who would say such a thing?

227
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,831
Well... Pundits, wags...

228
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:43,874
I'm not the one on trial here.

229
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:45,209
No one is on trial.

230
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:47,003
This is a joyous occasion for all,

231
00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:49,213
and the outpouring of support
has been so lucrative.

232
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,090
Yes. We have already received

233
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:54,176
lifetime supplies
of baby powder and Pepsi-B.

234
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:56,512
Free baby cola?

235
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:58,055
Apu hits the jackpot

236
00:09:58,139 --> 00:10:00,850
and I'm stuck with
these useless one-tuplets.

237
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:03,311
Gee, sorry for being born.

238
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:06,022
I've been waiting so long to hear that.

239
00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:12,486
(forklift beeping)

240
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:16,657
How do you feel about this avalanche
of free merchandise?

241
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:19,160
Oh, the companies are so generous.

242
00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:20,995
Except the Q-tip people.

243
00:10:21,078 --> 00:10:23,164
They only gave us three crates.

244
00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:24,540
They can rot in hell.

245
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,125
But the good folks at Sony...

246
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:27,209
(loud kiss)

247
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:30,963
Their giant TV will really
help us love our babies.

248
00:10:31,922 --> 00:10:33,591
{\an8}<i>I'm here at Shelbyville Hospital</i>

249
00:10:33,674 --> 00:10:35,426
{\an8}<i>where a local woman has just given birth</i>

250
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,887
{\an8}<i>to nine, that's right, nine babies.</i>

251
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:39,096
(both gasp)

252
00:10:39,180 --> 00:10:40,973
<i>Some say eight babies is a blessing,</i>

253
00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,267
<i>but they don't know the joy of nine.</i>

254
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:45,770
<i>Would you say you're on cloud nine?</i>

255
00:10:45,853 --> 00:10:47,897
BOTH: <i>We're on cloud nine!</i>

256
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,023
ALL: <i>Aw.</i>

257
00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:51,359
Oh. They even have
a better sound bite than us.

258
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:54,487
Nine babies? That's barbaric!

259
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:58,157
Nonuplets? Now, that's something
you don't see every day.

260
00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,909
{\an8}Let's get this stuff to the real heroes,

261
00:10:59,992 --> 00:11:01,744
{\an8}the Shelbyville Nine!

262
00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:06,123
Oh.

263
00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,377
Wait! That's our ottoman!

264
00:11:12,421 --> 00:11:13,381
(sighs)

265
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:15,299
Don't worry, my little curry-face.

266
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:17,635
We don't need corporate handouts.

267
00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:20,054
Our children will live on love.

268
00:11:20,137 --> 00:11:22,348
(babies crying)

269
00:11:22,431 --> 00:11:23,683
(groaning)

270
00:11:23,766 --> 00:11:25,726
(crying)

271
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,396
(singing to the tune of
"Rock-A-Bye Baby" in Hindi)

272
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:30,856
(crying continues)

273
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,192
(snoring)

274
00:11:33,275 --> 00:11:35,152
Apu! It's 4:00 a.m.

275
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,570
You are late for work.

276
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:40,491
Oh. I just had the most
beautiful dream where I died.

277
00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:43,577
Oh, no, you don't, not till
they're out of college.

278
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,121
Listen, I'll die when I want to.

279
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:48,916
(wheels squeaking)

280
00:11:48,999 --> 00:11:51,335
Thank you. Steal again.

281
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:52,586
(door sensor rings)

282
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,213
Well, morning, Apu.

283
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:55,923
How are the little blessings?

284
00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:58,426
Ooh, they're a ravenous swarm of locusts,

285
00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:00,970
just eating and screaming
and grabbing and poking

286
00:12:01,053 --> 00:12:02,471
and pulling and drooling

287
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,889
and two have cradle rash.

288
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:05,057
How do you get cradle rash

289
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,684
when you sleep in a suitcase?

290
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:07,727
(chuckling)

291
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,186
They can be a handful...

292
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:10,980
-of joy.
-Shut up!

293
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:12,606
They'll fill your lives with...

294
00:12:12,690 --> 00:12:13,899
Just shut up!

295
00:12:13,983 --> 00:12:15,192
Can't put a price on a miracle.

296
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,736
I can't believe you don't shut up.

297
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,571
-(clicking)
-HOMER: Oh, look at that.

298
00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:20,823
Ooh, a gingerbread house.

299
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:23,200
Hansel and Gretel are set for life.

300
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:25,703
You know, I saw Apu today.

301
00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,580
He's really frazzled.

302
00:12:27,663 --> 00:12:31,000
{\an8}Boy, that Hansel sure can eat.

303
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:32,710
{\an8}Ah! My corneas!

304
00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:33,753
You were saying?

305
00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:37,423
Apu told me all eight babies have colic.

306
00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:38,966
Although, he thinks one or two

307
00:12:39,049 --> 00:12:41,343
might just be going along with the crowd.

308
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,721
Eight kids. Hmm.

309
00:12:43,804 --> 00:12:45,514
I'm sterile, right, baby doll?

310
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,476
Yes, dear, from the nuclear plant.

311
00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:49,935
Beautiful.

312
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,062
(doorbell ringing)

313
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,148
Knock, knock.

314
00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:56,400
Hmm.

315
00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:57,485
Apu?

316
00:12:58,319 --> 00:12:59,361
Manjula?

317
00:13:00,279 --> 00:13:02,615
Marge, I've got a bad feeling about this.

318
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,701
(both gasp)

319
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,745
Welcome to my nightmare.

320
00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:10,206
I know you had your hands full
with the babies

321
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:12,792
So I baked you some banana bread.

322
00:13:12,875 --> 00:13:15,085
Oh, hallelujah, our problems are solved.

323
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,504
We have banana bread.

324
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:18,881
Well, you don't have to be sarcastic.

325
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:22,760
Oh, look, who's here.
The family with one baby.

326
00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:25,012
How do you manage?

327
00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:28,057
Marge, they've turned into jerks.

328
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,850
I'm very sorry. We've been rude.

329
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,019
Can I offer you something to drink?

330
00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:33,604
-No, thanks.
-No, thanks.

331
00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:36,023
Apu, they're doing it again.

332
00:13:36,106 --> 00:13:38,818
-OK, break it up.
-(babies cooing)

333
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,820
Maybe you two should get a nanny.

334
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,322
Yes, and what would
I pay her with? Banana bread?

335
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:46,075
Sorry, sorry. It's just
we haven't slept in days

336
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:47,910
and we're running out of money and...

337
00:13:47,993 --> 00:13:48,953
Banana bread?

338
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,454
What the hell were you thinking?

339
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:51,539
Banana bread.

340
00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:53,541
I apologize, apologize again.

341
00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:54,750
As a token of forgiveness,

342
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,210
-please take this baby.
-Mmm.

343
00:13:56,293 --> 00:13:57,586
No! Marge, no!

344
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:58,754
(doorbell ringing)

345
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,300
Mr. Nahasa... Pasa...

346
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:04,468
Aw, forget it.

347
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,846
Listen, you look like
you could use some help.

348
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,556
-Come with me.
-OK.

349
00:14:08,639 --> 00:14:10,140
But you don't know who he is.

350
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,851
Who cares? There's only one of him.

351
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:15,521
What if your babies could live in a place

352
00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:17,982
with round-the-clock child care,

353
00:14:18,065 --> 00:14:20,734
all expenses paid, full medical,

354
00:14:20,818 --> 00:14:22,653
dental, tutors, the works?

355
00:14:22,736 --> 00:14:24,238
I would say that there must be

356
00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:26,031
some sort of horrible catch.

357
00:14:29,451 --> 00:14:30,452
The zoo?

358
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,621
What? Everybody loves my zoo.

359
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:33,956
You don't love my zoo?

360
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:35,875
I dare you to look at a kangaroo

361
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:37,084
and not laugh.

362
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,168
I dare you.

363
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,464
Well, they're usually funnier.

364
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:47,303
Look, I'm not going
to put my babies in a zoo.

365
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,430
Don't say no till you see the habitat.

366
00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:50,431
The habitat?

367
00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:51,599
I mean, the nursery.

368
00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:54,059
Oh, my goodness.

369
00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:59,857
Not too shabby, eh?
They'll have the best of care.

370
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:02,484
And all I ask is
that you let the local folks

371
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,820
share a little glimpse of your blessing.

372
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,948
{\an8}But is it right to put such young children
on display?

373
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:09,408
{\an8}-MAN: Sure, it is.
-Uh?

374
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:10,993
Butch Patrick?

375
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,161
That's right.

376
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:13,495
I was TV's Eddie Munster.

377
00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:16,123
And being in the public eye
didn't mess me up one bit.

378
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:17,791
Mm-hmm.

379
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,126
Well, obviously.

380
00:15:19,209 --> 00:15:20,669
Hey, one question, Eddie.

381
00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,296
-Butch.
-Eh, right, right.

382
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:24,214
If your mother was a vampire

383
00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,008
and your father was a Frankenstein,

384
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,384
how come you are a werewolf?

385
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,553
Huh. I never thought of that.

386
00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,180
{\an8}Doesn't make sense, does it?

387
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,057
{\an8}But what does make sense
is putting your children

388
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:34,683
in the hands of Mr. Kidkill here.

389
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:37,478
Please, please... Larry. Larry Kidkill.

390
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,441
I don't care what Butch Patrick says.

391
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:44,568
It just doesn't seem right.

392
00:15:44,652 --> 00:15:46,487
We wouldn't be giving the babies away.

393
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:47,947
We'd be moving in with them.

394
00:15:48,030 --> 00:15:50,449
They'll have a traditional
"zoo-ish" upbringing.

395
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:54,161
Mmm. Mmm.

396
00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:57,331
Well, maybe we could try it.

397
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,418
-MANJULA: Whoa!
-Hey, what the...

398
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:04,254
Hey, I'm a notary.
So, I got that going, too.

399
00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:11,387
(Apu babbling)

400
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,181
(cooing)

401
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:17,142
{\an8}Oh... you like that, don't you, Poonam?

402
00:16:17,226 --> 00:16:19,353
{\an8}Yeah, who's a clean baby, huh?

403
00:16:19,436 --> 00:16:20,437
{\an8}(cooing)

404
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:23,315
Ah, now, this is a happy family.

405
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:24,775
You liking this thing?

406
00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:26,318
How's this humidity, good?

407
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:27,403
Why am I asking?

408
00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,279
I can see on the meter it's good.

409
00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:31,532
Oh, everything is perfect.

410
00:16:31,615 --> 00:16:35,077
{\an8}Yeah, nothing's too good
for my little angels.

411
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,162
{\an8}Hup! It's almost showtime.

412
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,288
Showtime?

413
00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:41,250
(gasps)

414
00:16:42,042 --> 00:16:43,460
All right, people.

415
00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:44,920
If you're not in a diaper,
get off my stage.

416
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,296
Off, off, off, off.

417
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:51,176
{\an8}I can't believe we're going
to see the octuplets.

418
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,845
{\an8}You already saw them.

419
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:55,431
Yeah, but now their umbilical cords
have fallen off.

420
00:16:56,265 --> 00:16:57,933
-(drumroll)
-Ladies and gentlemen,

421
00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:02,146
get ready for the eight wonders
of the Third World.

422
00:17:02,229 --> 00:17:04,690
Welcome to Octopia!

423
00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:07,317
(pulsating techno music playing)

424
00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:12,865
He can't talk, but, man, can he rock.

425
00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:16,618
Say hello to the baddest baby
in the whole damn town...

426
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:17,828
Animal!

427
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:19,371
<i>♪ Welcome to the jungle ♪</i>

428
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:20,622
<i>♪ We got fun and games ♪</i>

429
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,082
AUDIENCE: Aw.

430
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:23,083
<i>♪ We got everything you want... ♪</i>

431
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:24,334
How can he rebel?

432
00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:25,669
He doesn't even know where he is.

433
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:26,879
(dramatic music plays)

434
00:17:27,379 --> 00:17:30,466
Uh-oh, sounds like
one of the babies has a fever.

435
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:31,592
(gasps)

436
00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:33,135
Dance fever, that is.

437
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:35,054
Oh! (chortling)

438
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,347
Let's hear it for Dazzle!

439
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,600
(swing music playing)

440
00:17:39,683 --> 00:17:41,518
She's no Liza, but it works.

441
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:42,895
(lively music playing)

442
00:17:42,978 --> 00:17:45,814
And now the standup who can't even sit up.

443
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,858
Give it up for Punchline!

444
00:17:47,941 --> 00:17:51,570
(audience applauding)

445
00:17:51,653 --> 00:17:52,696
(laughing)

446
00:17:55,282 --> 00:17:57,076
He's thinking what we're all saying.

447
00:17:57,159 --> 00:18:00,454
But all the laughs in the world
won't protect you

448
00:18:00,537 --> 00:18:03,707
from the stern discipline of...

449
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,292
the Baron.

450
00:18:05,375 --> 00:18:07,294
("The Ride of the Valkyries" playing)

451
00:18:07,377 --> 00:18:08,670
(audience booing)

452
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:11,465
{\an8}Boo, Baron.

453
00:18:11,548 --> 00:18:13,050
And... the rest.

454
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:15,594
<i>♪ R-O-C-K in the U.S.A. ♪</i>

455
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:18,764
<i>♪ R-O-C-K in the U.S.A. ♪</i>

456
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,891
<i>♪ R-O-C-K in the U.S.A. ♪</i>

457
00:18:20,974 --> 00:18:22,226
Good night, Springfield.

458
00:18:22,309 --> 00:18:23,310
We'll be back in an hour.

459
00:18:23,393 --> 00:18:25,521
<i>♪ Rockin' in the U.S.A. ♪</i>

460
00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:26,605
BOTH: Huh?

461
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:29,566
(baby burps)

462
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:30,567
Good babies.

463
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:31,819
Good, good babies.

464
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:32,861
Work with Dazzle.

465
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,154
She's a lox out there.

466
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,366
How could you do this to our children?

467
00:18:37,449 --> 00:18:39,868
I know, the lighting cues were a mess.

468
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,370
Don't worry, the guy's been fired.

469
00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:43,122
Our babies are not circus freaks.

470
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:44,498
We're taking them home now.

471
00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:46,834
Hold on, Alpo. We got a contract.

472
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:48,001
Not anymore.

473
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,254
(grunting)

474
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:51,588
Laminated.

475
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,090
You monster!

476
00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:54,842
Terence, Christopher.

477
00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:56,802
Will you show these two to the exit?

478
00:18:56,885 --> 00:18:58,929
(speaking French)

479
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:02,349
I'm afraid there's nothing I can do.

480
00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:04,226
The zookeeper paid you off, didn't he?

481
00:19:04,309 --> 00:19:05,310
Paid me off?

482
00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:06,645
What, are you crazy?

483
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:11,650
So we'll never see our children again?

484
00:19:11,733 --> 00:19:13,527
Well, they might give Dazzle back.

485
00:19:13,610 --> 00:19:16,488
The buzz is, she's got one more show
to turn it around.

486
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,240
Well, if the police won't help us,

487
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:20,659
we'll simply have to take
the law into our own hands.

488
00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:23,954
Yeah, yeah, a lot of people
are doing that these days.

489
00:19:24,037 --> 00:19:25,539
(insects chirping)

490
00:19:32,921 --> 00:19:35,299
These animals certainly
act different at night.

491
00:19:37,968 --> 00:19:38,927
(snarling)

492
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:40,179
(chuckling)

493
00:19:41,638 --> 00:19:43,473
(grunting)

494
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:48,854
Oh, my little treasures.

495
00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:51,356
We'll get you out of this terrible place.

496
00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:55,402
(gasps) She's waking up.

497
00:19:55,485 --> 00:19:57,654
Don't worry, I brought some chloroform.

498
00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:58,655
Pleasant dreams.

499
00:19:58,739 --> 00:20:00,407
There... and there.

500
00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:03,243
You idiot! Those are Colorforms.

501
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:04,661
-(screams)
-(exclaims)

502
00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:06,163
(alarm blaring)

503
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:08,665
APU: Nabendu...

504
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:10,334
Pria... and Sashi.

505
00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:11,543
Now let's go!

506
00:20:14,171 --> 00:20:16,715
(gorilla gibbering)

507
00:20:18,133 --> 00:20:20,052
OK, this is getting weird.

508
00:20:20,135 --> 00:20:21,303
(tires screeching)

509
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:26,683
Oh, my precious babies.

510
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:28,518
We'll never let you go.

511
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:30,562
Oh, let's get this awful thing off.

512
00:20:30,979 --> 00:20:31,980
(struggling)

513
00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:34,233
Let me... OK, whatever.

514
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,527
Hold it right there, scumbags!

515
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:38,528
(gasps)

516
00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:40,364
{\an8}Please, Mr. Kidkill,

517
00:20:40,447 --> 00:20:41,782
{\an8}look into your heart.

518
00:20:41,865 --> 00:20:44,326
{\an8}I know these babies have
a lifetime contract.

519
00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:48,121
{\an8}But what if I put together
an even better act for you?

520
00:20:48,205 --> 00:20:50,082
{\an8}Something sensational!

521
00:20:50,165 --> 00:20:51,833
It's not just you prancing around

522
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:53,293
in a monkey suit, is it?

523
00:20:53,377 --> 00:20:54,586
Not anymore.

524
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:56,713
You've got yourself a deal.

525
00:20:56,797 --> 00:20:58,340
(Homer yelping)

526
00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:02,261
<i>♪ Highway to the danger zone ♪</i>

527
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:04,429
Quiet! You're breaking character.

528
00:21:04,513 --> 00:21:07,599
<i>♪ Highway to the danger zone ♪</i>

529
00:21:07,683 --> 00:21:09,309
Are those real cobras?

530
00:21:09,393 --> 00:21:10,727
{\an8}"Some are real,

531
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:12,271
{\an8}Some are just robots filled with venom."

532
00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:14,231
Now, that is a true friend.

533
00:21:14,314 --> 00:21:15,565
You know, if he can handle that,

534
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:17,776
maybe we can handle this bunch.

535
00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:19,945
We'll do our best, chutney-butt.

536
00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:21,530
(snakes hissing)

537
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:23,824
OK, OK, don't panic, Butch.

538
00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:25,325
Release the mongoose!

539
00:21:25,409 --> 00:21:26,868
{\an8}<i>♪ Highway to the danger zone ♪</i>

540
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:27,953
{\an8}(whimpering)

541
00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:30,455
(screaming)

542
00:21:34,710 --> 00:21:35,711
(baby laughing)

543
00:21:35,794 --> 00:21:36,670
(screaming)

544
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:40,716
HOMER: <i>Ow! Oh!</i>

545
00:21:40,799 --> 00:21:44,636
<i>Stupid mongoose! Get the snake! The snake!</i>

546
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,264
<i>Do I look like a snake? Ow! Ow!</i>

547
00:21:47,347 --> 00:21:49,808
<i>Why isn't he listening to me?</i>

548
00:21:49,891 --> 00:21:52,644
<i>Ow! </i>(screaming)

549
00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:54,521
<i>Show's over! Show's over!</i>

550
00:21:54,604 --> 00:21:56,940
<i>Next show at eight o'clock and ten!</i>

551
00:21:57,858 --> 00:21:59,901
(theme music playing)

552
00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:26,136
Shh!

553
00:22:29,681 --> 00:22:31,558
{\an8}Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services

