1 00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:02,252 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:06,506 CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 3 00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:18,935 (bell ringing) 4 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,233 (whistle blows) 5 00:00:30,363 --> 00:00:31,281 (beeping) 6 00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:37,829 (playing the blues) 7 00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:39,372 (jazzy solo) 8 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:48,506 (chimes) 9 00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:53,970 (tires screeching) 10 00:00:58,892 --> 00:00:59,851 (honking horn) 11 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,523 D'oh! 12 00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:06,608 (screams) 13 00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:07,817 (tires screeching) 14 00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:10,111 ALL: Ah, ah, ooh, ooh... 15 00:01:10,195 --> 00:01:11,863 Ah, ah, ooh, ooh. Hmm! 16 00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:26,586 {\an8}Here's the mail, Dad. That'll be three dollars for on-couch delivery. 17 00:01:27,796 --> 00:01:29,589 {\an8}And three makes three. 18 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:33,176 {\an8}This isn't real money. It's printed by the Montana Militia. 19 00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:34,969 {\an8}It'll be real soon enough. 20 00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:37,972 Ooh, my first issue of Self-test Monthly . 21 00:01:38,056 --> 00:01:40,391 Finally I get to find out what makes me tick. 22 00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:43,019 {\an8}-I'm betting it's hunger and rage. -Yeah, but in what ratio? 23 00:01:44,229 --> 00:01:46,981 {\an8}"Are you a good driver?" Hmm. Yes. 24 00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:48,566 {\an8}"Are you a good lover?" 25 00:01:49,484 --> 00:01:51,653 {\an8}Yes. Oh, I'm doing great. 26 00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:53,571 {\an8}Dad, those are just the names of the quizzes. 27 00:01:53,655 --> 00:01:55,406 {\an8}You're supposed to open the magazine. 28 00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:56,491 {\an8}My way is easier. 29 00:01:56,574 --> 00:01:58,201 {\an8}Why don't you be the quiz master 30 00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:00,203 {\an8}and ask other people the questions? 31 00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:03,915 {\an8}Ooh... Quiz master, yes. That would entertain me briefly. 32 00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:08,253 {\an8}OK, Flanders, your love quiz score is... 61. 33 00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,421 {\an8}That makes you a "Frigid Frieda." 34 00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:13,550 {\an8}I took off 30 points for all that crying you did. 35 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:17,887 {\an8}(sniffling) Well, it was a little insensitive giving me a sex test 36 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,764 {\an8}seeing that my wife just passed away. 37 00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:22,475 {\an8}-No way! When? -Six months ago. 38 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:25,353 {\an8}You were at the funeral. You fell into the grave. 39 00:02:25,436 --> 00:02:26,938 {\an8}(chuckles) Oh, yeah. 40 00:02:27,021 --> 00:02:29,274 {\an8}I saw a gopher. What a day. 41 00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:31,651 {\an8}-(crow caws) -OK... last question. 42 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,279 {\an8}"Who is your favorite Backstreet Boy?" 43 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,698 {\an8}Oh, the little rat-faced one. 44 00:02:36,781 --> 00:02:38,449 {\an8}No, no, no. Nick. 45 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,326 {\an8}He's so good to his mother. 46 00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,495 {\an8}According to this, you're both idiots. 47 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,539 {\an8}Hey, thanks. What do we owe you? 48 00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:48,793 {\an8}OK, "There's black widow at your door, 49 00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:52,130 {\an8}a rattlesnake at the window and a scorpion on the phone. 50 00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:55,258 {\an8}Do you... A, none of the below, B..." 51 00:02:55,341 --> 00:02:58,428 {\an8}Homie, for God's sakes, it's 02:00 a.m. 52 00:02:58,511 --> 00:03:00,597 {\an8}Fine. I'll take the next quiz. 53 00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:04,184 {\an8}"How long will you live?" 54 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:07,270 {\an8}"In an average week, how many braised ribs do you eat?" 55 00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,564 Marge, do you think that counts honey-braised? 56 00:03:09,647 --> 00:03:11,274 MARGE: I don't know! 57 00:03:11,357 --> 00:03:13,776 I'm trying to sleep! 58 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:19,866 OK... "non-smoker... add eight years." 59 00:03:19,949 --> 00:03:20,950 Hmm. 60 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,411 So according to this, I'll live to be... 61 00:03:23,494 --> 00:03:27,332 Forty-two? Oh, that's horrible! 62 00:03:27,415 --> 00:03:31,085 I won't even live to see my children die. 63 00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,921 (sobbing) 64 00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:35,256 Now what's wrong? 65 00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:38,134 I've only got three more years to live. 66 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:41,346 Maybe you added it wrong. Let me have it. 67 00:03:41,429 --> 00:03:43,806 (mumbling) 68 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,517 See? And these quizzes are never wrong, Marge. 69 00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,478 They're put together by the finest scientists 70 00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:50,396 in the magazine business. 71 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,233 Oh... Honey, don't panic. 72 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:56,027 If you just made a few lifestyle changes... 73 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:57,779 No! (sobbing) 74 00:04:00,865 --> 00:04:03,952 Can't sleep. Gonna die. 75 00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:06,788 Can't sleep. Gonna die. 76 00:04:06,871 --> 00:04:08,915 We're back with legendary producer, Robert Evans. 77 00:04:08,998 --> 00:04:12,043 Now before you did The Godfather there was Love Story . 78 00:04:12,126 --> 00:04:15,046 -Tell us about that. -Ah, Love Story... 79 00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:16,714 The little picture that could. 80 00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,883 Was Paramount chomping at the bit to make it? 81 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,969 (chuckles) You better believe they weren't. 82 00:04:21,052 --> 00:04:23,263 But once that tear-jerker hit John Q. Popcorn, 83 00:04:23,346 --> 00:04:26,099 it was boffo, boo-hoo box office all the way. (chuckles) 84 00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:27,725 And the critics loved it, too. 85 00:04:27,809 --> 00:04:29,936 I remember Vincent Canby said... 86 00:04:30,019 --> 00:04:31,104 "I'm going to kill you, Homer." 87 00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,940 -You are so dead. -(shrieks) 88 00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:36,192 Now, Chinatown was a classic. 89 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,903 But you had problems with the sequel The Two Jakes? 90 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,863 Oh, boy, disappointed? 91 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,700 I had the blues like Chasen's had chili. I said to myself... 92 00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:47,787 "Evans, you forgot Hollywood rule number one... 93 00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:50,748 -Kill Homer Simpson." -(shrieks) 94 00:04:50,832 --> 00:04:52,083 Hey, what's all the screaming? 95 00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:54,711 Some of us have grammar school in the morning, you know. 96 00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,672 Maybe you should see a doctor, Homie. A head doctor. 97 00:04:57,755 --> 00:05:00,675 I'm not crazy. It's the TV that's crazy! 98 00:05:00,758 --> 00:05:02,135 Aren't you, TV? 99 00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,721 The crisis? Charlie Bludorn's birthday. 100 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:06,806 The solution? A snappy banner. 101 00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:09,183 Out comes the phone, in flies Bobby Towne 102 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,394 and six drafts later, I had myself a party. 103 00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:13,980 You see? Gibberish. All gibberish. 104 00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:16,774 (crow caws) 105 00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:19,444 So tell me, are all you government inspectors 106 00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,195 so handsome and strapping? 107 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:23,656 Well, we've got a solo flex down at HQ. 108 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:26,075 Anyway, everything looks great, Mr. Burns. 109 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,954 I can't find a single violation or employee acting strangely. 110 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:34,292 You got to hide me! Death is after me! 111 00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,753 And I don't entirely trust these cowboys. 112 00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:38,379 Is this man an employee? 113 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:41,299 Oh, of course not. He's just... 114 00:05:41,382 --> 00:05:46,304 a harmless maniac here to remind us of the precious gift of sanity. 115 00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:48,931 (sputtering) Oh, God, what's he doing? 116 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:53,144 That's it, that's it. A mother can't die. 117 00:05:53,227 --> 00:05:54,896 And I'm a mother, see? 118 00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,732 (nervous Laughing) 119 00:05:57,815 --> 00:05:59,359 (Homer whimpering) 120 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:02,445 -You hate your father, don't you? -Sometimes. 121 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,572 But the guy I really hate is your father. 122 00:06:05,073 --> 00:06:07,367 I shouldn't have brought that up. I was just venting. 123 00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:10,995 Any-hoo, I think your fear of death is causing your insomnia 124 00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:13,289 which is provoking your erratic behavior. 125 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,541 Why isn't my baby gaining weight? 126 00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:18,544 -Because it's made of plastic. -I see. 127 00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:21,130 What you need is a good, long rest. 128 00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,549 -I suggest Florida. -Florida? 129 00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:25,468 {\an8}But that's America's wang. 130 00:06:25,551 --> 00:06:27,053 {\an8}They prefer "The sunshine state." 131 00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:31,224 Mom, Bart's sitting next to me. 132 00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:33,518 -Mom, Lisa's growing. -Quiet, you two. 133 00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:35,937 You know your father's had a breakdown. 134 00:06:36,020 --> 00:06:37,438 {\an8}My pockets hurt. 135 00:06:37,522 --> 00:06:40,233 OK, honey, we're almost to Palm Corners. 136 00:06:40,316 --> 00:06:43,403 There'll be nothing to do but lie on the beach and relax. 137 00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:46,739 (chattering, cheering) 138 00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:47,865 (tires squeal) 139 00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,911 (crowd chanting) Spring break, spring break, spring break... 140 00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:55,248 Oh, no. We came during spring break. 141 00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:56,791 (gasps) 142 00:06:56,874 --> 00:06:58,501 Take them off the glass! 143 00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,294 Take them off the glass! 144 00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:03,047 This looks like a terrible place to relax. 145 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:05,091 We're going to get you to a... (gasps) 146 00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:06,634 -(Homer Laughing) -(cheering) 147 00:07:07,510 --> 00:07:08,344 (grunting) 148 00:07:09,887 --> 00:07:10,888 (groans) 149 00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:12,598 Party! Woo-hoo! 150 00:07:14,892 --> 00:07:18,271 ♪ Hey, boys it's the wild weekend ♪ 151 00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:22,442 {\an8}♪ We did it then and we'll do it again ♪ 152 00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:25,528 ♪ We're having fun and we just got started ♪ 153 00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:26,821 (music fades out) 154 00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:28,865 This is terrible. 155 00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,116 The whole point of coming down here 156 00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:31,951 was for you to get some rest. 157 00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:34,454 -Show us your boobs! -Not now. 158 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:35,580 (Home yawns) 159 00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:38,666 Well... (yawns) enjoy your sightseeing. 160 00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:41,252 I promise I won't leave this bed. 161 00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:43,087 I trust you, honey. 162 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,882 Sweet dreams. 163 00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:48,968 HOMER: Uh... could you just shut off the-- 164 00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:56,100 Party! Party! Party! 165 00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:58,519 Party! Party! 166 00:08:00,104 --> 00:08:01,147 Party? 167 00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:03,316 Now, this is living. 168 00:08:09,780 --> 00:08:13,367 Whoo! Sepulveda here doing a veejay thing 169 00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:15,995 for the most out-of-control spring break ever! 170 00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:18,748 And since it's my birthday, we'll party extra hard. 171 00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:19,749 (beeping) 172 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:23,586 (gasps) No. Not yet. I'm only 25. 173 00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:25,546 (grunting) 174 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:28,049 What up, chew toys? Cienega here... 175 00:08:28,132 --> 00:08:30,510 tightening the hose clamps for you bad girls. 176 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:33,387 We got Kid Rock coming up for all you mosh monkeys. 177 00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:36,349 Woo! I like music! 178 00:08:38,226 --> 00:08:40,937 Yo, yo, straight out of Detroit, y'all. 179 00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,189 It's the J-O-E to the C. 180 00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:45,942 Let's rock the party with Kid Rock. 181 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,443 Oh, no. It's a lost child. 182 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,153 Don't worry, folks... I'll tackle him. 183 00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,279 (grunts) 184 00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:55,660 (rock music playing) 185 00:08:55,743 --> 00:08:58,663 Yo, Rock, tell spring break what your name is. 186 00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:03,376 My name is Ki... 187 00:09:03,459 --> 00:09:04,585 Kid Rock! 188 00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,587 ♪ Bawit daba, banana fana ♪ 189 00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:09,090 ♪ Ooga chucka, fa with the falun gonga ♪ 190 00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:11,259 ♪ Pa tee dana mana onga... ♪ 191 00:09:13,010 --> 00:09:14,470 And if you look to your left, 192 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:17,890 you'll see another endless stretch of stagnant water. 193 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:20,726 Oh, well, look who turned out to greet us, folks. 194 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:24,689 It's our town's most famous resident, Captain Jack. 195 00:09:25,439 --> 00:09:27,483 Look at the size of that gator. 196 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:30,528 -Is he a man-eater? -Only convicts and hobos. 197 00:09:30,611 --> 00:09:32,113 Do you have any hobo chunks we could throw to him? 198 00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:33,698 (chuckles) Afraid not. 199 00:09:33,781 --> 00:09:36,659 Now, years ago, Captain Jack helped build Palm Corners 200 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:39,161 by dragging sticks and stones from the swamps. 201 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,622 Legend has it, he designed the town flag. 202 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:44,750 Say hello, Captain Jack. 203 00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:47,128 ALL: Aww... 204 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:52,842 Ah. He can crawl up through my toilet any day. 205 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,177 (raucous cheers) 206 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,345 Thank you! 207 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:57,888 It's the pimp of the nation 208 00:09:57,972 --> 00:10:01,225 Kid Rock tearin' it up at spring break, y'all. 209 00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:04,895 Now, what we'd like to do next is bring it down for a minute. 210 00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:07,064 HOMER: Bring on the rappin' granny! 211 00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,107 MAN: What? 212 00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:10,318 What? She's hilarious. 213 00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,154 You know, a lot of my homies didn't make it to the party 214 00:10:13,237 --> 00:10:17,450 and we're gonna give props to the fallen by pourin' a 40 on the curb. 215 00:10:17,533 --> 00:10:19,118 (reverent murmuring) 216 00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:21,287 But this ain't no 40-ounce curb. 217 00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:23,456 So we're going to need 40 gallons, y'all. 218 00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:26,042 (cheering) 219 00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:28,711 -All for Homer. -(crowd booing) 220 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,504 All for Homer. 221 00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:32,256 -What the... -Hey, who's that fool? 222 00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,425 Yo, let's waste that biatch. 223 00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:36,552 {\an8}"Biatch"? Moi? 224 00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:39,555 KID ROCK: Son of a... 225 00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:46,604 ♪ We built this city on rock and roll ♪ 226 00:10:47,063 --> 00:10:48,105 Uh-oh. 227 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,611 We'll give that punk a Joe C. Section. 228 00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:55,029 Let's do this thing. 229 00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:58,324 All right now, boys, that's enough. 230 00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:01,994 Kid Rock, that's not like you. 231 00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:04,538 And, Joe C., would your mama want you 232 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,499 stretching out that sweatshirt like that? 233 00:11:06,582 --> 00:11:09,043 No, sir. Please don't tell Mama. 234 00:11:09,126 --> 00:11:11,003 They called you a pig, sheriff. 235 00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:13,214 Well, I don't care what they call me 236 00:11:13,297 --> 00:11:15,591 as long as they play "Fists of Rage." 237 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,010 That's a good song. (laughs) 238 00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:20,971 (groaning) 239 00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:24,975 Oh, thank goodness. Where were you? 240 00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:27,561 Guess how many boobs I saw today, Marge. 241 00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:29,897 Fifteen. 242 00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:30,856 (groans) 243 00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:34,068 Ohh! I hope he didn't cause too much trouble, sheriff. 244 00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:35,736 Oh, boys will be boys. 245 00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,488 I reckon he was just blowing off a little steam. 246 00:11:37,571 --> 00:11:40,199 (laughing) Doesn't he talk funny? 247 00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:45,579 (yawning) 248 00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:49,959 My insomnia. It's gone. 249 00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:51,752 Check it out, Marge. 250 00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,462 I'm sane again. 251 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:55,756 And I owe it all to... 252 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,091 Spring break! 253 00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,927 Whoo! 254 00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:01,554 I'm an animal! 255 00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:02,722 Huh? 256 00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:06,851 Hey, where is everybody? 257 00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:09,895 Spring break is over. It's time to get back to our studies. 258 00:12:09,979 --> 00:12:12,898 The world looks to us, the college students, for leadership. 259 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:15,067 Fine. Be nerds. 260 00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:18,154 I'll find some people who know the true meaning of the words 261 00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:19,947 "par-tay." 262 00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:21,991 {\an8}♪ Louie Louie ♪ 263 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:25,202 {\an8}♪ Oh, no, we gotta go ♪ 264 00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:28,622 {\an8}♪ We built this city ♪ 265 00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:30,750 {\an8}♪ This kick-ass city ♪ 266 00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:33,961 ♪ What kind of music built this city? ♪ 267 00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:37,506 {\an8}♪ Rock and roll ♪ 268 00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,507 Dad, look out! 269 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,009 ♪ Look out for what? ♪ 270 00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:42,678 -♪ The giant gator ♪ - ♪ The giant... ♪ 271 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:44,597 (gasps) 272 00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:52,438 -Oh, no. -(siren wailing) 273 00:12:55,065 --> 00:12:57,318 You killed Captain Jack. 274 00:12:57,401 --> 00:12:59,737 You in a heap of trouble, son. 275 00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:01,781 You'll have to catch me first. 276 00:13:04,158 --> 00:13:06,827 (shrieking) 277 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:08,162 OK, I'll go quietly. 278 00:13:08,245 --> 00:13:09,288 (siren wails) 279 00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:13,751 Did you really have to handcuff the children? 280 00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:15,252 No, ma'am, I did not. 281 00:13:15,336 --> 00:13:18,005 You seemed so understanding before. 282 00:13:18,088 --> 00:13:20,508 What happened to "Boys will be boys"? 283 00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:22,092 You see, during spring break, 284 00:13:22,176 --> 00:13:24,762 the beer companies pay me to look the other way. 285 00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:27,348 The rest of the year, I'm a real hard-ass. 286 00:13:27,431 --> 00:13:29,642 OK, sweet pea, you're next. 287 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:34,605 Whoa, looks like we got a teeny Houdini here. 288 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:35,731 (all laughing) 289 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,274 Well, don't you worry, darlin'. 290 00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:39,151 I got some baby cuffs in the station. 291 00:13:42,112 --> 00:13:44,573 Look. This is our chance. 292 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:45,616 (grunts) 293 00:13:45,699 --> 00:13:46,992 Let's go. 294 00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:51,163 You can't drive, Dad. He's got your license. 295 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:52,623 I'm going to try anyway. 296 00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:55,334 -(engine starts) -It worked. It's a miracle. 297 00:13:55,417 --> 00:13:56,919 (tires squealing) 298 00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:58,921 Ah, dang it. 299 00:14:00,214 --> 00:14:03,342 Now, why does that only happen when nobody's looking? 300 00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:04,468 (squawking ) 301 00:14:05,719 --> 00:14:07,680 (siren wailing) 302 00:14:10,057 --> 00:14:12,852 -Pull over! -There's no good place! 303 00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:16,146 There's lots of good places. What about over there? 304 00:14:16,230 --> 00:14:17,940 -No shade! -(gunshots) 305 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,150 -(train whistle blowing) -(gasps) 306 00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:23,737 (bell clanging) 307 00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:27,867 -Perfect. -Homer, No. You'll kill us all. 308 00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:29,118 Or die trying. (grunts) 309 00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:32,496 -(tires squealing) -(whistle blowing) 310 00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:34,331 (kids screaming) 311 00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:36,876 (siren stops) 312 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:38,085 Dang! 313 00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:39,253 (sighs) 314 00:14:41,338 --> 00:14:43,924 -D'oh! -(all shrieking) 315 00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:45,634 Dad, what'll we do? 316 00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,094 The only thing we can do. 317 00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:49,388 Sit tight and try to get some sleep. 318 00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:50,890 (snoring) 319 00:14:58,272 --> 00:14:59,690 (whinnying) 320 00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:03,986 (metal screeching) 321 00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:10,993 (all snoring) 322 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:13,746 (yawns) Hey, where's Dad? 323 00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:15,706 (grunts) 324 00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:19,335 -Rise and shine, everybody. -You went to the snack car? 325 00:15:19,418 --> 00:15:21,545 Yeah. But first, I talked to the engineer. 326 00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:24,465 He said there's a procedure for dealing with events of this nature. 327 00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:26,050 (grunts) 328 00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,679 (all screaming) 329 00:15:31,847 --> 00:15:36,101 HOMER: Oh! OK, now, am I the only one on fire? 330 00:15:36,185 --> 00:15:37,144 Good. 331 00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:38,270 (screaming) 332 00:15:39,313 --> 00:15:41,315 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! 333 00:15:41,398 --> 00:15:43,651 This family has hit a new low. 334 00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:45,486 We're on the run from the law. 335 00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:47,905 Totally lost, no car, no money 336 00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:50,908 No clean clothes, and it's all your fault! 337 00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:52,952 I love being married. 338 00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,877 -A diner? -It's perfect. 339 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:04,254 We can hide out here until the heat's off. 340 00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,846 {\an8}You took the signs out of the window? That's pretty presumptuous. 341 00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:14,390 {\an8}How do you know I'm going to hire you? 342 00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:17,643 {\an8}Sorry. I just want to be a broom boy so bad. 343 00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:20,938 {\an8}I like your attitude. You're hired. How about you, missy? 344 00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:23,315 {\an8}-You want to be a mop girl? -Not really. No. 345 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,234 {\an8}I like your honesty. You're hired. 346 00:16:25,317 --> 00:16:26,819 And you two haven't said a word. 347 00:16:26,902 --> 00:16:28,570 I like that. You're hired. 348 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,239 -Woo-hoo! -Hey, keep it down. 349 00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,618 Y'all can stay in this trailer. 350 00:16:34,702 --> 00:16:37,329 -Now, it ain't Buckingham palace... -Ohh... 351 00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:40,124 But I raised eight young 'uns, three chill-uns and a baby here. 352 00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:42,626 -(electricity crackling) -LISA: Eww... 353 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:45,963 Oh, it's so cozy. 354 00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:48,090 You're insincere. I like that. 355 00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:49,341 (country music playing) 356 00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:57,057 -Can I top you off, hon? -No, thanks. 357 00:16:57,141 --> 00:17:00,269 -More hash browns, sugar? -No, I'm good. 358 00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:03,230 ANNOUNCER: This just in... 359 00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,816 Authorities in Six-Toe County are on the lookout 360 00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:07,401 for a family of fugitives. 361 00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:09,278 -They're charged with Gatorcide... -(gasps) 362 00:17:09,361 --> 00:17:11,739 ...and defrauding an Amtrak snack bar. 363 00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:13,490 Trouble with the law, huh? 364 00:17:13,907 --> 00:17:15,492 Well, I'm not one to judge. 365 00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:18,829 The way I see it, we're all sinners, and... 366 00:17:18,912 --> 00:17:21,665 (humming) 367 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:25,127 Y'all just lie low here. You'll be safe with ol' Velma. 368 00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:26,503 -Stop that! -But I was just-- 369 00:17:26,587 --> 00:17:27,880 -Scat! -Going to try to-- 370 00:17:27,963 --> 00:17:29,590 -Go on now! Just quit. -Knock you out. 371 00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:32,468 ♪ Jimmy crack corn and I don't care ♪ 372 00:17:32,551 --> 00:17:34,720 ♪ Jimmy crack corn and I'm not there ♪ 373 00:17:34,803 --> 00:17:38,223 ♪ We built this city on rock 'n' roll ♪ 374 00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:41,101 ♪ Something something day ♪ 375 00:17:41,185 --> 00:17:43,645 Wow! Look at all the stars you can see here. 376 00:17:43,729 --> 00:17:46,774 Those noxious gasses from the swamp must magnify them. 377 00:17:46,857 --> 00:17:48,400 I'm getting used to this country life. 378 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,486 Teacher says I'm whittling at a tenth-grade level. 379 00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,780 And y'all hardly ever bicker anymore. 380 00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:54,448 Too hot to bicker, I reckon. 381 00:17:54,531 --> 00:17:56,325 You know, killing that gator 382 00:17:56,408 --> 00:17:58,202 was the best decision I ever made. 383 00:17:58,285 --> 00:17:59,745 -Got that right. -Darn tootin'. 384 00:17:59,828 --> 00:18:00,788 Boy, howdy. 385 00:18:00,871 --> 00:18:03,248 Yep, this place is great. 386 00:18:03,332 --> 00:18:07,211 Someday, when Lisa and Bart get married, it'll all be theirs. 387 00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:10,172 -BOTH: Yuck! -You mean, when they marry other people. 388 00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:12,299 OK, but I ain't paying for two weddings. 389 00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:14,927 (all snoring) 390 00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:19,431 -(car engine starting) -(yawns) Hey, wake up! We're moving. 391 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:20,641 (siren wailing) 392 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:23,352 You just relax. 393 00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:24,937 I'll have you in jail by supper time. 394 00:18:25,020 --> 00:18:26,105 You'd better. 395 00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:28,065 Hey, you're stealing my trailer! 396 00:18:28,690 --> 00:18:29,733 I like that. 397 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,360 (gravel bangs) 398 00:18:31,443 --> 00:18:32,903 Well, first up is 399 00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:35,823 The state of Florida vs. The Simpson family. 400 00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:39,868 Your honor, I'd like to represent myself. 401 00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:42,538 Drunken hicks of the jury... 402 00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:43,664 (gasps) 403 00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:45,415 (clanking) 404 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,382 (grunting) 405 00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:57,719 We'd be much better rock breakers 406 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,054 if we weren't all chained together. 407 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:00,097 -(whip snaps) -Ow! 408 00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:01,598 No talking. 409 00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:04,893 You know, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. 410 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:08,230 Ow! I'm beginning to dislike the man with the whip. 411 00:19:08,313 --> 00:19:09,314 (siren wails) 412 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:14,153 Afternoon, folks. Got a new assignment for you. 413 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:17,531 The judge is having a little soiree and he needs some help. 414 00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:19,783 -Ow! -No listening. 415 00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:21,201 You hear me? 416 00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,162 Uh... No. 417 00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:26,206 -OFFICER: You just don't learn, do you? -Ow! 418 00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,253 (crowd chattering) 419 00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:42,306 Champagne, madam? 420 00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,016 -(whip snaps) -Ow! Son of a... 421 00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:46,351 -And the gentleman? -Damn it! 422 00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:47,561 Simpson, we got a problem. 423 00:19:47,644 --> 00:19:49,188 The jazz pianist didn't show up. 424 00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:50,731 Well, what am I supposed to do? 425 00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:52,399 (off-key ) 426 00:19:52,482 --> 00:19:53,734 (groaning) 427 00:19:53,817 --> 00:19:54,860 Ow! 428 00:19:54,943 --> 00:19:57,821 (playing beautifully) 429 00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,282 OK, Bart, I'll sweet talk the sheriff 430 00:20:00,365 --> 00:20:01,575 while you grab his keys. 431 00:20:01,658 --> 00:20:02,701 What should I do? 432 00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:04,411 Restock the possum bar. 433 00:20:04,494 --> 00:20:06,038 -We're almost out of claws. -Oh... 434 00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:07,831 My goodness! 435 00:20:07,915 --> 00:20:11,210 What a lovely suit, Sheriff! Is that Seersucker? 436 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:14,504 Nah. Not on a civil servant's salary. It's Nearsucker. 437 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:17,674 Well, the fabric really brings out the red in your neck. 438 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,259 Yep. It's coming along, huh? 439 00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:22,012 You should see it in August after the horseflies been getting at it. 440 00:20:22,095 --> 00:20:22,930 Hoo, man! 441 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:27,559 Dang, I wish I could, but in August our chain gang has to dig for tar. 442 00:20:27,643 --> 00:20:33,148 Well, now, I might could switch you to dead animal pickup. 443 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,567 -Hey! -Run! 444 00:20:36,109 --> 00:20:38,820 (panting) 445 00:20:42,741 --> 00:20:44,076 Huh? (groaning) 446 00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:45,911 (whimpering) 447 00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,747 -Hey. -Ooh. 448 00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:53,252 Nice try. I guess we just haven't been whipping you enough. 449 00:20:54,127 --> 00:20:56,004 -(Whimpers) -Sake's alive! 450 00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,715 (growls) 451 00:20:58,799 --> 00:21:01,593 Our beloved Captain Jack isn't dead after all! 452 00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:04,471 (excited murmuring) 453 00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:06,306 Well, don't that beat all! 454 00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:08,350 I guess you folks just stunned him. 455 00:21:08,433 --> 00:21:11,853 That's what we've been trying to tell you. 456 00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:14,106 Well, looks like you folks are free to go. 457 00:21:14,189 --> 00:21:16,650 But don't you set foot in the state of Florida again. 458 00:21:16,733 --> 00:21:19,194 Fine, there are plenty of other states 459 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,779 that are happy to have us. 460 00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:27,577 Well, we're still welcome in North Dakota and... Arizona. 461 00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,538 Arizona smells funny. 462 00:21:29,621 --> 00:21:30,664 (groans) 463 00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:33,792 North Dakota, here we come! 464 00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:35,919 I've always wanted to see Mount Rushmore. 465 00:21:36,003 --> 00:21:37,296 That's South Dakota. 466 00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:38,672 Oh. 467 00:21:38,755 --> 00:21:41,049 (rock music playing) 468 00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:02,738 ♪ Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy ♪ 469 00:22:02,821 --> 00:22:04,948 ♪ Said the boogie said up jump the boogie ♪ 470 00:22:05,032 --> 00:22:07,993 ♪ Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy ♪ 471 00:22:08,076 --> 00:22:10,412 ♪ Said the boogie said up jump the boogie ♪ 472 00:22:10,495 --> 00:22:12,914 ♪ Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy ♪ 473 00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:15,542 ♪ Said the boogie said up jump the boogie ♪ 474 00:22:15,625 --> 00:22:18,545 ♪ Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy ♪ 475 00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:20,922 ♪ Said the boogie said up jump the boogie ♪ 476 00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:22,924 (echoes) ♪ Love ♪ 477 00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:24,718 ♪ And for the hate ♪ 478 00:22:24,801 --> 00:22:25,844 -(murmuring) -Shh! 479 00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:31,099 {\an8}Captioned by Visual Data Media Services