1 00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:06,589 CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:12,637 (theme music playing) 3 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,977 (bell ringing) 4 00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:25,108 (whistle blowing) 5 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,072 (beeping) 6 00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:43,501 (playing the blues) 7 00:00:46,504 --> 00:00:47,464 (tires screeching) 8 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:48,548 (clanging) 9 00:00:58,892 --> 00:00:59,893 (honking horn) 10 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,273 D'oh! 11 00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:07,984 -(screams) -(tires screeching) 12 00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,277 (indistinct chatter) 13 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,529 (giggling) 14 00:01:21,790 --> 00:01:25,835 {\an8}Five, four, three, two, one. 15 00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,962 {\an8}Well, that's all the time we have. 16 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,464 {\an8}So long, kids! 17 00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:30,882 {\an8}-(laughing) -(cheering) 18 00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,010 {\an8}ANNOUNCER: Krusty the Clown is brought to you by 19 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,137 {\an8}the new GameStation 256. 20 00:01:36,221 --> 00:01:39,474 It's slightly faster, to the max. 21 00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:41,935 BART: 256? 22 00:01:42,018 --> 00:01:44,854 {\an8}Oh, and I'm stuck with this useless 252. 23 00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,150 {\an8}(voice from playstation) Don't destroy me. 24 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:53,780 {\an8}I can still make you happy to the max! 25 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,824 {\an8}Here's a headline for Jay, 26 00:01:55,907 --> 00:01:58,743 {\an8}"Ketchup Truck Hits Hamburger Stand." 27 00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,120 {\an8}(chortling) 28 00:02:01,996 --> 00:02:05,083 {\an8}Mom, can I have 200 bucks for a 256-K GameStation? 29 00:02:05,166 --> 00:02:06,793 {\an8}That's less than a dollar a K! 30 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:09,379 {\an8}Oh, I might be able to help you. 31 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:12,757 {\an8}With a song about thrift. (plays reference note) 32 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:15,635 {\an8}♪ When you get a penny from a chum ♪ 33 00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:18,138 {\an8}♪ Don't just buy some bubble gum ♪ 34 00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,723 {\an8}♪ Put it in your cap put it in your cap ♪ 35 00:02:20,807 --> 00:02:23,518 {\an8}♪ When you find a nickel in the snow ♪ 36 00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:25,937 {\an8}♪ Don't blow it on a picture show ♪ 37 00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:28,648 {\an8}♪ Put it in your cap put it in your cap ♪ 38 00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:29,858 {\an8}I don't have a cap. 39 00:02:29,941 --> 00:02:32,735 {\an8}♪ When you spy a quarter in a pie... ♪ 40 00:02:32,819 --> 00:02:34,070 {\an8}(sighs) 41 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,155 {\an8}You want money? 42 00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:37,115 {\an8}Get a job, like your old man. 43 00:02:37,198 --> 00:02:39,033 {\an8}Well, maybe I should. 44 00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,786 {\an8}So, now you're smarter than your old man, eh? 45 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:44,330 {\an8}-I guess. -I like your attitude. 46 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:45,415 {\an8}Take what you need. 47 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,375 {\an8}(sighs) 48 00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:50,628 {\an8}(bell dinging) 49 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:54,424 {\an8}Nice day's work, kid. 50 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,301 {\an8}This is for you. 51 00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:01,097 {\an8}BART: You're paying me in hair? Are you insane? 52 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:04,851 {\an8}(laughing maniacally) 53 00:03:04,934 --> 00:03:05,935 (whimpers) 54 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,312 Man, I need a job. 55 00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:09,814 You need job. 56 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,399 {\an8}I have job for you. 57 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:15,612 {\an8}You take these. 58 00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,530 {\an8}You hang Thai menu on door. 59 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:18,990 {\an8}I get more business. 60 00:03:19,073 --> 00:03:21,534 {\an8}Send daughters to small, liberal arts college. 61 00:03:21,618 --> 00:03:23,786 {\an8}Swarthmore, maybe Sarah Lawrence. 62 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,622 {\an8}Call professors by first name... 63 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:26,873 {\an8}Ha! Dynamite! 64 00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:28,750 Hang them on the door, got it. 65 00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:30,793 (Bart whistling) 66 00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,378 Hey, no menus! 67 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,130 Or I'll cut you like a box... 68 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,131 along the flaps! 69 00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:38,635 {\an8}(panting) 70 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,136 {\an8}You quitter! 71 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:43,097 {\an8}(in sing-song voice) Quitter boy! Quitter Boy! 72 00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:44,098 {\an8}I'm sorry. 73 00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:45,725 Now, restaurant fail. 74 00:03:45,808 --> 00:03:47,602 Children go to state college. 75 00:03:47,685 --> 00:03:51,481 {\an8}Serious students powerless against drunken jockocracy. 76 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,483 {\an8}Baseball hats everywhere. 77 00:03:53,566 --> 00:03:55,443 {\an8}Hey, man, this job is too dangerous. 78 00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:58,154 Menu boy no be coward, like shrimp. 79 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,823 Menu boy be brave, like prawn. 80 00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:07,914 Menu boy must move silently, like ghost. 81 00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:11,876 Leave no footprint, only lunch specials. 82 00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:13,461 Hai. 83 00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:15,546 (grunting) 84 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:21,469 (theme music from The Matrix playing) 85 00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:29,435 (snarling) 86 00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:39,279 (inaudible dialogue) 87 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:40,989 (gasping and muttering) 88 00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,532 Well, I never... 89 00:04:44,575 --> 00:04:46,494 (groans) What a waste. 90 00:04:47,328 --> 00:04:48,621 (splashing) 91 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:49,747 (gasps) 92 00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:52,875 There you go little fish. 93 00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:54,752 Oh... 94 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,672 Bart, do you know how many trees died 95 00:04:57,755 --> 00:04:58,881 to make those menus? 96 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,508 I don't know. A million? 97 00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:02,510 You're ruining the Earth. 98 00:05:02,593 --> 00:05:05,013 True, but I gots to get paid. 99 00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,806 Money was funny, Sister. 100 00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:08,599 BART: Oh, Betty. 101 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,312 Bart, it's so sweet of you 102 00:05:12,395 --> 00:05:14,814 to take the family out to Krusty Burger. 103 00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:17,358 {\an8}Hey, some people in this family are doers 104 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:19,027 {\an8}and some are don't-ers. 105 00:05:19,110 --> 00:05:20,236 Don't you call me a-- 106 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:21,904 (grunts) 107 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,073 Take that, Lisa's beliefs. 108 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,325 (laughing) 109 00:05:27,952 --> 00:05:29,370 Oh, how cute! 110 00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,039 Kids, look who's on the roof! 111 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:33,833 I knew this day would come. 112 00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:36,419 The cows are taking back what's theirs. 113 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,713 {\an8}No. I think they're protesters. 114 00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,468 Hey, there are cows on the roof. 115 00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:45,470 I thought my pager was busted. 116 00:05:45,553 --> 00:05:47,472 -(boots squeaking) -Get back in. 117 00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:49,432 It's only funny with a small car. 118 00:05:49,515 --> 00:05:50,725 (sighing) 119 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,605 {\an8}(sirens blaring) 120 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:56,856 ALL (chanting): Take down the clown! 121 00:05:56,939 --> 00:05:58,816 Take down the clown! 122 00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,568 Listen, I'm on your side. 123 00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:02,403 Let's get a dialogue going. 124 00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:03,988 Take out the mother cow. 125 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:06,240 -The rest will follow. -(guns cocking) 126 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:08,326 (man's voice) Your corporation cuts down the rain forest 127 00:06:08,409 --> 00:06:10,328 to create grazing land for cattle! 128 00:06:10,411 --> 00:06:11,537 Oh, for the love of... 129 00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:12,914 Give me that! 130 00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:14,290 (crowd gasping) 131 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,958 {\an8}No, you can't! 132 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:17,210 Don't worry, honey. 133 00:06:17,293 --> 00:06:19,087 They're just firing beanbags. 134 00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,963 (all groaning) 135 00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:23,299 (man's voice) You can't silence the truth with beanbags. 136 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,051 Oh! (groans) 137 00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:27,887 That's nice work with the bag-zooka. 138 00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:30,807 Got to love what you do, chief. Mm-hmm. 139 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,600 (gasping) Are you all right? 140 00:06:32,975 --> 00:06:34,018 (strains) 141 00:06:34,435 --> 00:06:36,062 I've had worse. 142 00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:37,313 (gasping) 143 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,399 In New Orleans, they hose us with Tabasco. 144 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:41,776 Oh, you're so heroic. 145 00:06:41,859 --> 00:06:43,820 All right, cow-boy. 146 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,614 I'll see you in moo-nicipal court. 147 00:06:46,697 --> 00:06:48,491 Huh! Good one, Chief. 148 00:06:48,574 --> 00:06:49,575 What? What'd I say? 149 00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:52,286 I can't believe how young he is. 150 00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,831 He'd be cute if he weren't so idealistic. 151 00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,084 Mmm! 152 00:06:58,167 --> 00:06:59,502 (horn honking) 153 00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:02,672 Look, Marge, I'm in a limo! 154 00:07:02,755 --> 00:07:05,258 The Simpsons are going to Paris. 155 00:07:08,970 --> 00:07:11,389 The eco-radical group Dirt First, 156 00:07:11,472 --> 00:07:14,434 staged a daring protest today at Krusty Burger. 157 00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,853 Krusty the Clown has issued the following statement, 158 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,354 "This, I don't need." 159 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,066 The group is led by teenage activist Jesse Grass, 160 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:26,404 a dreadlocked dreamboat whose Birken... stock is on the rise. 161 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,073 (sighing deeply) 162 00:07:29,157 --> 00:07:30,825 HOMER: Boring. 163 00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,454 Ah, the Luftwaffe. 164 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:37,165 The Washington Generals of the History Channel. 165 00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:38,833 Dad, change it back. 166 00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:40,626 Yeah, that was the boy Lisa likes. 167 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:41,919 No, I don't. 168 00:07:42,003 --> 00:07:44,380 "Lisa and Jesse sitting in a tree 169 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,132 "K-I-S-S-I-N-G" 170 00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:47,216 Shut up! 171 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:50,678 "First comes love, then comes..." Um... 172 00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:51,971 Damn it, I know this. 173 00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:56,434 I'd like to visit a prisoner. 174 00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:57,518 Yeah, sure. 175 00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:00,188 Aren't you coming with me? 176 00:08:00,271 --> 00:08:02,106 Hey, I get enough flaming toilet paper 177 00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:03,524 thrown on me at home. 178 00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:07,987 MAN: Fire in the hole! 179 00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:11,449 Jesse? 180 00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,159 (exhales) 181 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,619 You do yoga? 182 00:08:14,702 --> 00:08:16,579 Yeah, but I started before it was cool. 183 00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:17,997 My name's Lisa Simpson. 184 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,458 I think your protest was incredibly brave. 185 00:08:20,541 --> 00:08:23,586 Thank you. This planet needs every friend it can get. 186 00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,338 Oh, the Earth is the best. 187 00:08:25,421 --> 00:08:27,131 That's why I'm a vegetarian. 188 00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,717 (chuckles) Well, that's a start. 189 00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:32,345 Oh, well, um, I was thinking of going vegan. 190 00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:34,805 (chuckles) I'm a level-five vegan. 191 00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:36,349 I won't eat anything that casts a shadow. 192 00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:37,517 Wow. 193 00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:41,854 Um, I started an organic compost pile at home. 194 00:08:41,938 --> 00:08:43,356 Only at home? 195 00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:44,774 You mean you don't pocket-mulch? 196 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:48,110 Oh, it's so decomposed. 197 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,071 Do you think I could join Dirt First? 198 00:08:50,154 --> 00:08:53,616 Well, we might have an opening at the poser level. 199 00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:55,368 Oh, thank you, thank you! 200 00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,248 Have a good time at your hippie club. 201 00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:01,916 You've welcome to come, too. 202 00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:05,461 No, I like to save the environment my own way. 203 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:11,217 (tires squealing) 204 00:09:11,300 --> 00:09:13,761 HOMER: Mmm... donuts. 205 00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:16,514 I am happy to report we've succeeded in blocking 206 00:09:16,597 --> 00:09:18,057 the St. Patrick's Day Parade, 207 00:09:18,140 --> 00:09:20,476 which every year steps on several lizards. 208 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,103 -Right on! -Death to humans! 209 00:09:22,186 --> 00:09:23,187 Don't celebrate yet. 210 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:26,190 The mayor had a secret tree auction last night. 211 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:29,944 What am I bid for the logging rights 212 00:09:30,027 --> 00:09:32,989 to Springfield's oldest redwood tree? 213 00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:36,492 $30,000 to make cages for animal experimentation. 214 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,911 $50,000 for Thai menus. 215 00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,581 Daughter on wait list at Bennington. 216 00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:44,417 100,000 simoleons 217 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,670 to make the world's first drive-through humidor. 218 00:09:48,462 --> 00:09:50,464 Sold to the rich Texan. 219 00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:54,218 Yee-haw! Yippi-i-ki-yi-yay! 220 00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:56,345 Whoo, doggies! 221 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,014 (whooping) 222 00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,724 Thanks to Caleb for the tape. 223 00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:01,475 How'd you sneak that camera in? 224 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:03,269 {\an8}I got my ways. 225 00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:05,896 They can't cut down that sequoia 226 00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:07,732 if one of us is living in it. 227 00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:08,983 Any volunteers? 228 00:10:09,066 --> 00:10:09,984 I'll do it! 229 00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:11,277 Man, I am so there! 230 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,445 Me, me, me. 231 00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:13,946 Whoa, hold on. 232 00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,407 Once you're up there, you can't come down. 233 00:10:16,490 --> 00:10:19,744 Not for a Phish concert, not even for Burning Man. 234 00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:21,120 (subdued murmuring) 235 00:10:21,203 --> 00:10:22,955 Well, someone will hear the call... 236 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:28,794 and whoever does will have a place in my heart. 237 00:10:28,878 --> 00:10:30,880 Mm-hmm. (sighs) 238 00:10:32,381 --> 00:10:34,508 Sheesh, look at these refugees. 239 00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:35,926 How about a smile? 240 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:38,846 They've undergone terrible hardships. 241 00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:40,723 Well, moping won't make it better. 242 00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:44,352 Mom, Dad, there's something I have to do. 243 00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:46,062 You're not going to like it, 244 00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:48,230 but I really believe it's the right thing. 245 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,693 Marge, she's going to narc on our stash. 246 00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,112 We don't have a stash. 247 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:57,114 No, of... course not. 248 00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,206 (grunts) 249 00:11:05,289 --> 00:11:06,957 (gasps) 250 00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:09,835 Wow. 251 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:14,840 Oh, I didn't think it would be so high. 252 00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:17,343 Maybe I could just circulate a petition. 253 00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:18,719 (chuckles weakly) 254 00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:21,472 (clucking) 255 00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:23,557 Ooh, I'll show you. 256 00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:30,856 (grunting) 257 00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:38,239 (grunting continues) 258 00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,242 (moaning) 259 00:11:41,325 --> 00:11:42,993 (panting) 260 00:11:43,077 --> 00:11:46,330 Well, this looks like a good place to set up camp. 261 00:11:48,416 --> 00:11:50,543 Wow, what a view. 262 00:11:54,755 --> 00:11:57,842 (vehicles approaching) 263 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:03,055 Gentlemen, start your chainsaw. 264 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,515 (chainsaws buzzing) 265 00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,392 LISA: Not so fast! 266 00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:12,481 Now, you come down from there, missy. 267 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:16,318 (loudly) I won't come down till you spare this tree! 268 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,282 Hang in there, Laura! 269 00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:23,033 It's Lisa! 270 00:12:23,117 --> 00:12:26,287 Right. Lisa! You're hard-core! 271 00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:29,206 (softly) Oh, he said I was hard-core. 272 00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:31,250 (yelling) 273 00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:35,045 (grunting) 274 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:36,964 (tires screeching) 275 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,801 Oh, no! My baby's up there! 276 00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:44,513 It's OK, Mom! I have a safety line. 277 00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,640 This is your fault with your non-threatening 278 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:49,185 Bobby Sherman-style good looks. 279 00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,061 No girl could resist your charms. 280 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,605 This was her choice, Mr. Simpson. 281 00:12:52,688 --> 00:12:54,398 I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. 282 00:12:54,482 --> 00:12:56,066 I was lost in your eyes. 283 00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,653 All right! A care bucket. 284 00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,989 (grunting) 285 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:05,367 Hot Thai soup. 286 00:13:05,451 --> 00:13:06,869 Oh, Bart. 287 00:13:07,703 --> 00:13:10,247 "Dear Lisa, you rock. 288 00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,416 Mom is calling rescue agencies. 289 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:16,295 Dad is building a giant ladder, but it is of poor quality. 290 00:13:16,378 --> 00:13:17,755 We miss you. Bart." 291 00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:19,215 Ah! 292 00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,258 It's day four 293 00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:23,803 for Springfield's "li'lest" tree hugger. (chuckles) 294 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,138 Excuse me. That's "littlest" tree hugger. 295 00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,307 And whether you love or hate her politics, 296 00:13:28,390 --> 00:13:31,018 you've got to go gawk at this crazy idiot. 297 00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:32,520 (thunder cracking) 298 00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:35,689 Oh... Oh, 7:00. 299 00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:38,192 The family's just sitting down to dinner. 300 00:13:40,152 --> 00:13:41,612 Aw... 301 00:13:41,695 --> 00:13:42,988 -(choking) -(grunting) 302 00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:44,907 You call that saying grace? 303 00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:48,410 (yelling) 304 00:13:50,579 --> 00:13:52,665 (thunder rumbling) 305 00:13:54,875 --> 00:13:57,753 LISA: Oh, now, they're making popcorn 306 00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,880 and hanging Christmas stockings 307 00:14:00,422 --> 00:14:02,842 and coloring Easter eggs. 308 00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,844 Oh, I can't take it. 309 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:08,013 Would it be so bad if I just went home for an hour? 310 00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:11,892 (grunting) Whoa. 311 00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:20,067 Don't worry, I'll be right back. (kissing) 312 00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:22,945 Ew, someone's been marking their territory. 313 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:28,492 Hey, everybody, I'm... 314 00:14:29,368 --> 00:14:30,828 (snoring) 315 00:14:32,663 --> 00:14:33,956 Aw... 316 00:14:36,333 --> 00:14:38,502 I'll just rest here for a minute. 317 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:41,964 (sighs) 318 00:14:46,010 --> 00:14:47,511 (birds twittering) 319 00:14:48,345 --> 00:14:49,763 (Maggie babbling) 320 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,100 (gasps) Oh. 321 00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:55,102 Oh, it's morning. I got to get back. 322 00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:02,610 (gasps) 323 00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:05,070 Oh, no! 324 00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:11,744 Oh, Mom, those loggers chopped down the tree. 325 00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:13,913 Why did I have to leave my post? 326 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:16,165 Now, honey, let's turn on the news 327 00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:17,833 and forget our troubles. 328 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,045 Springfield's oldest resident has died. 329 00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:24,173 No, it wasn't Mr. Burns. 330 00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,300 It was this majestic, old redwood 331 00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:28,510 which was brutally cut down last night. 332 00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:30,596 (sighs) 333 00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,681 Not by loggers, but by lightning. 334 00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:34,058 Lightning? 335 00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:35,142 (relieved sigh) 336 00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:36,644 At least, it wasn't my fault. 337 00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:39,313 Lightning attracted by this metal bucket. 338 00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:40,481 (groans) 339 00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:41,982 Still unknown is the fate 340 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,817 of tree-sitter Lisa Simpson. 341 00:15:43,901 --> 00:15:46,153 I'm afraid it doesn't look good, Kent. 342 00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:48,614 We found her sleeping bag right here. 343 00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:49,990 Our working theory is that 344 00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:51,951 the lightning exploded her. 345 00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:54,078 -Back to you, Kent. -You don't get to say that. 346 00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:57,081 KENT: Good-bye, Lisa. We'll miss you. 347 00:15:57,164 --> 00:15:59,249 Oh, no! Lisa's gone! 348 00:15:59,333 --> 00:16:01,377 And nothing will bring her back! 349 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:02,378 (sobs) 350 00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,046 Unless... 351 00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:05,464 Dad! I'm not dead. 352 00:16:05,547 --> 00:16:08,217 Oh, praise God! You're alive! 353 00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,510 Unless... 354 00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:13,347 Oh, my! They made you a shrine. 355 00:16:15,265 --> 00:16:16,642 {\an8}I loved Lisa Simpson. 356 00:16:16,725 --> 00:16:18,560 {\an8}Loved her like shrub 357 00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:21,981 {\an8}and I would give anything to see her sweet face again. 358 00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,857 Oh. (giggling) 359 00:16:23,941 --> 00:16:26,860 But in death, she will do more for our cause 360 00:16:26,944 --> 00:16:29,071 than she ever could've done in life. 361 00:16:29,154 --> 00:16:31,949 Uh-huh. In Texas, we do tragedy right. 362 00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:34,451 That's why, in memory of that poor little girl, 363 00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:36,620 I'm turning this entire forest 364 00:16:36,704 --> 00:16:39,540 into the Lisa Simpson Wilderness Preserve. 365 00:16:39,623 --> 00:16:40,874 We won, Lisa. 366 00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:42,876 We finally won. 367 00:16:43,961 --> 00:16:46,380 This... is for you. 368 00:16:49,591 --> 00:16:52,970 (gasps) He cut off his favorite dread. 369 00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:55,014 (clicks TV off) We have to tell them 370 00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,682 you're not dead. 371 00:16:57,558 --> 00:17:00,477 No, Mom! It's a memorial forest now. 372 00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:02,771 If I'm alive, they'll cut it down. 373 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:05,858 You are not pretending to be dead, young lady. 374 00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:07,818 This family has had nothing but bad luck 375 00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:09,820 -when it comes to farce. -(doorbell rings) 376 00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:11,238 Homer, it's Neddy! 377 00:17:11,321 --> 00:17:13,365 I baked you a little something to ease the pain. 378 00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,617 Oh! (groaning) 379 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:16,744 Must hide Lisa. 380 00:17:18,495 --> 00:17:20,539 (falsetto) Come in! 381 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,585 {\an8}So, Bart, our school policy is to give students 382 00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:26,837 in your situation... straight A's. 383 00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:28,338 Get out! What's the catch? 384 00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:30,424 The tragic loss of your sister. 385 00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:33,218 Ah, yes. Ghastly business, that. 386 00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:34,970 (tires screeching) 387 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,059 Grieving father, coming through. 388 00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,436 Homer, uh, booze is on the house, 389 00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:44,938 seeing as how Lisa is, um... 390 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:47,274 How do I put this, uh... 391 00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,486 riding the midnight train to Slab City. 392 00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,321 Thanks for the beer, Moe. 393 00:17:52,404 --> 00:17:54,990 But before Lisa died, she made this tape 394 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:56,325 that I think you should hear. 395 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,369 LISA: Dear Moe, if anything should ever happen to me, 396 00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:02,164 I want you to tear up my Dad's tab 397 00:18:02,247 --> 00:18:05,501 and pour cocktail onions... Dad, I can't-- 398 00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:06,835 HOMER (on tape): Read it! 399 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:09,171 LISA: ...pour cocktail onions 400 00:18:09,254 --> 00:18:10,798 down your pants. 401 00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:14,301 Well, I ain't never said no to a dead girl yet. 402 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:17,805 (groans) 403 00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,933 And now Branford Marsalis will play 404 00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:23,185 using Lisa's very own saxophone. 405 00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,269 Don't touch it! 406 00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:26,230 They can clone her from the spit! 407 00:18:26,313 --> 00:18:27,231 (sobbing) 408 00:18:27,314 --> 00:18:28,690 Good luck, Milhouse. 409 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,443 And finally, an exciting announcement 410 00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:34,404 from our good friends at Omni-Pave. 411 00:18:34,905 --> 00:18:38,158 Folks, last night, the dear, departed Lisa came to me in a dream. 412 00:18:38,242 --> 00:18:42,204 She told me her fondest wish was that this forest 413 00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:44,164 would become the world's rootin'est, 414 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,709 tootin'est, pollutin'est amusement park! 415 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,503 (shocked murmurs) 416 00:18:49,586 --> 00:18:51,255 APU: It was Lisa's dream. 417 00:18:52,548 --> 00:18:54,800 You promised us a nature preserve. 418 00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:56,426 Now, don't you fret. 419 00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,763 We're sensitive to all your eco concerns. 420 00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,224 -(chainsaw buzzing) -That's it, boys. 421 00:19:02,307 --> 00:19:04,309 The gift shop will go right there. 422 00:19:04,393 --> 00:19:06,562 Yee-haw! Cut it down! (laughs) 423 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:09,148 -LISA: No! -(crowd murmuring) 424 00:19:09,231 --> 00:19:10,357 (all gasping) 425 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:15,028 (stuttering) A girl! 426 00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:16,822 I'm not dead. 427 00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:19,741 And neither is my sense of moral outrage. 428 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,410 Oh, here we go. 429 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,120 Sir, have you no shame? 430 00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:24,705 Clearly, I don't. 431 00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:27,207 (chittering) 432 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:30,085 Now get your heinie off of Lisa Land. 433 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,754 A redwood is not a promotional tool. 434 00:19:35,465 --> 00:19:38,260 Good Lord! He's cutting the guy-wires. 435 00:19:41,138 --> 00:19:42,014 {\an8}(crackling) 436 00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:43,891 {\an8}(tree creaking) 437 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:46,268 (screaming) 438 00:19:46,351 --> 00:19:47,895 (crowd clamoring) 439 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,984 (cheering) 440 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,903 Nice work, tree. 441 00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:58,780 Now, return to me. 442 00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:00,699 What? 443 00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:03,702 Oh, right. I don't have superpowers... 444 00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:04,953 just yet. 445 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,163 Sweet! 446 00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,165 It's headed for the business district. 447 00:20:11,835 --> 00:20:13,462 Not my company! 448 00:20:16,924 --> 00:20:18,592 (screams) 449 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:22,846 (glass shattering) 450 00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:24,640 No! 451 00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:27,434 It was Finger Ling-Ling Good! 452 00:20:29,519 --> 00:20:31,355 -(screams) -(glass shattering) 453 00:20:31,438 --> 00:20:33,607 ALL: No! 454 00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:35,150 Yee-haw! 455 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:38,445 Score one for the bad guys! (laughs) 456 00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:42,741 Hey, Lisa. 457 00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:45,202 Aw, Jesse, they locked you up again. 458 00:20:45,285 --> 00:20:47,454 Yeah, but I'm still fighting for the Earth. 459 00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:49,831 I even got them to install a solar-powered electric chair. 460 00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:52,209 Dude, we've been here all morning. 461 00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:55,128 Could you at least re-moisten my head sponge? 462 00:20:55,462 --> 00:20:57,214 Well, I'll write you letters 463 00:20:57,297 --> 00:20:59,800 on rice paper, with a soy pencil. 464 00:20:59,883 --> 00:21:01,218 Aw, you're sweet. 465 00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:03,220 -(kisses) -(giddy sigh) 466 00:21:03,303 --> 00:21:04,638 Did they ever stop the log? 467 00:21:04,721 --> 00:21:05,639 Not yet. 468 00:21:05,722 --> 00:21:06,890 What's up with that? 469 00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:08,976 ("This Land Is Your Land" parody playing) 470 00:21:09,059 --> 00:21:10,769 ♪ This log is your log ♪ 471 00:21:10,852 --> 00:21:12,980 ♪ This log is my log ♪ 472 00:21:13,063 --> 00:21:15,440 ♪ When lightning struck it ♪ 473 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:17,567 ♪ It kicked the bucket ♪ 474 00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:19,820 ♪ I poured some onions ♪ 475 00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:22,823 ♪ Inside my trou...sers ♪ 476 00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:25,784 ♪ This log it used to be a tree ♪ 477 00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:27,411 (honks horn) 478 00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:32,040 ♪ Now, it spreads love to you and me ♪ 479 00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:37,879 ♪ Hey, look it's heading out to sea ♪ 480 00:21:39,131 --> 00:21:41,174 (theme music from The Matrix playing) 481 00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:26,511 Shh! 482 00:22:29,514 --> 00:22:31,183 {\an8}Captioned by Visual Data Media Services