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CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪
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(theme music playing)
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(bell ringing)
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(whistle blowing)
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(beeping)
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(playing the blues)
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(honking)
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D'oh! (screams)
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(tires screeching)
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{\an8}Animation is so great.
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{\an8}It's way better than
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{\an8}whatever the alternative is.
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{\an8}Seems like animated shows are everywhere,
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{\an8}or were last year.
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{\an8}Cool. Japanimation.
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{\an8}(grunts and roars)
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{\an8}Electro-web, deploy!
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{\an8}(grunting)
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{\an8}Now I control the roboverse!
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{\an8}(laughing)
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Your laugh is incorrect, Meganaut!
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Activate prawn power!
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(yells)
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(grunts, screaming)
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{\an8}Man, that Princess Tempura
is one heck of a transformazoid.
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{\an8}Wait, I'm confused.
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{\an8}Why was a wolf shooting a web?
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{\an8}Cartoons don't have to make sense.
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{\an8}He's right, you know.
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{\an8}Daddy, are you sure it's OK
for us to watch cartoons?
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{\an8}Mm-hmm. This one's fine and dandy, Roddy.
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{\an8}It's approved by a council
of Presbylutheran ministers.
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{\an8}(music playing)
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Whatcha making there, Gravey?
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It's a pipe bomb, Jobriath,
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for to blow up planned parenthood.
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I don't know, Gravey.
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I'm sick of your lack of faith.
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Hmm?
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{\an8}But, Gravey...
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{\an8}-(loud explosion)
-(organ music playing)
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{\an8}BOTH: Yay!
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{\an8}And then, I created the voice
of Yellow-Bellied Yak.
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{\an8}(as cowardly lion)
All I need is some courage.
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{\an8}Courage, I tell you.
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{\an8}Excuse me, but isn't that voice
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{\an8}very similar to the Cowardly Lion?
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{\an8}Also, sir, your Loudmouth Leopard
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{\an8}is a rip-off of Jackie Gleason.
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{\an8}(as Jackie Gleason)
Hamina, hamina, hamina, hamina.
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{\an8}And Klutzy Kat sounds
exactly like Jerry Lewis
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{\an8}with the stealing and the lawsuit!
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{\an8}And, oh, nice judge, don't hurt
a person with the thing.
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{\an8}(music playing)
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{\an8}(moaning)
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{\an8}(kissing sounds)
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{\an8}(screaming)
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DIRECTOR: And... cut!
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ANNOUNCER: After a tough day on the set,
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how do Itchy and Scratchy relax?
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With Laramie extra-tar cigarettes.
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Here's your smoke, Mr. Itchy.
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Thank you, Louie.
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(grunts)
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Mm-hmm! And now,
there's more nico-glycerol.
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I don't know what's in them.
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I just know I can't stop smoking them.
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(all laughing)
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(hacking coughs)
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00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:28,142
Wait a minute. Was that cat
making out with that mouse?
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'Cause if they were...
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Folks, you're about to witness
the exciting new process
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of motion-capture animation.
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-Now, we'll need a volun--
-HOMER: Pick me! Pick me!
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Now, when you move any part of your body,
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our furry friend will copy you exactly.
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Mmm... Hmm... (chuckles)
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♪ I'm a little teapot short and stout ♪
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♪ Here is my handle, here is my spout ♪
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(grunting and moans)
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(applause and laughing)
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Uh, let me see.
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(as Don Corleone) I'll make him
an offer he can't refuse.
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(as Edith Ann) And that's the truth.
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(blows raspberry)
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-(humming)
-(laughing and applause)
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That dog's a riot.
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Thank you.
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Don't spay or neuter your pets.
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Good night!
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(humming)
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-HOMER: Zipperoonie.
-(Homer unzips zipper)
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(moaning) Oh, yeah.
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Urinal cake eroding.
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Eroding, eroding... Gone!
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(cheers and applause)
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00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,965
(embarrassed groaning)
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00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:46,179
That motion-capture suit is
just what this country needs.
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Just think of all the hilarious motions
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that are going uncaptured, like this.
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(grunting)
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See? Now wouldn't you love
to see that move
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performed by a cartoon possum?
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00:05:59,108 --> 00:06:02,362
An opossum capering around like that
would be a smash hit.
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That would be the world's
funniest marsupial.
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You're right. That suit gizmo
could be worth billions.
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And I'm going to get
a piece of the action.
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-(car door closes)
-(tires screeching)
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So, does he still work here, or what?
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I'd like to withdraw my life savings,
please. And hurry!
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Uh, sir, this is a joint account.
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Uh, you'll need
your wife's signature, too.
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Oh! Yes, of course.
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Uh, she's behind that plant.
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Hello, Marge.
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(as Marge) Hi, Homie.
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(as Homer) Sign this, please.
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(as Marge) You're the boss.
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(as Lisa) Daddy, ask the man
for some candy.
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(as Homer) No, no. No candy for you.
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(as Lisa) Well, at least
get some candy for yourself.
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(chuckling) Kids.
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(sighs)
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Here's your candy.
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So long, sucker!
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Uh, sir, your life savings.
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Uh, yes, I see that it's in bill form.
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Excellent.
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I'd like to buy 500 shares
of Animotion Incorporated.
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00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:15,351
OK. Uh, now before I execute this order,
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are you sure you understand
the risks of stock ownership?
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Absolutely.
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ALL: ♪ We're in the money ♪
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♪ We're in the money ♪
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(roaring)
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You heard the monkey. Make the trade.
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-(phone ringing)
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(voice on phone)
For automated stock prices,
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please state the company name.
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-Animotion.
-Animotion,
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up one and one-half.
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-Yahoo!
-Yahoo, up six and a quarter.
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Huh? What is this crap?
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(voice on phone)
Fox Broadcasting, down eight.
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Sleep tight, my beloved.
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You're my ticket out of this hellhole.
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-Homer!
-Sorry.
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00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:59,270
Our ticket out of this hellhole.
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00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:05,067
Turning to the stock market,
Animotion is up an eighth...
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00:08:05,151 --> 00:08:06,819
-Yes!
-...after plunging
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00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,738
75 points this morning.
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00:08:08,821 --> 00:08:11,365
Oh, I hope plunging means up
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and 75 means 200.
154
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The firm declared super-duper bankruptcy,
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which is terrible news for the company's
only stockholder, Homer Simpson.
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Oh!
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-(cowbell ringing)
-HOMER: Family meeting!
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Family meeting!
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OK, people, let's keep this short.
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00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,300
We all want to get home to our families.
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-(all chuckle)
-All right, first item,
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I lost our life savings
in the stock market.
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Now, let's move on to the real issue,
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Lisa's hogging of the maple syrup.
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Well, maybe if Mom didn't
make such dry waffles.
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There, I said it.
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Well, maybe if you ate some meat
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you'd have a natural lubricant.
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(gasps) You lost all our money?
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00:08:49,987 --> 00:08:52,573
Point of order,
I didn't lose all the money.
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00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:54,992
There was enough left for this cowbell.
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Damn you, eBay!
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00:09:06,170 --> 00:09:09,048
I have a great way
to solve our money woes.
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00:09:09,131 --> 00:09:12,385
You rent your womb
to a rich, childless couple.
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00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:14,845
If you agree,
signify by getting indignant.
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00:09:14,929 --> 00:09:17,807
Are you crazy? I'm not going to be
a surrogate mother.
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Come on, Marge. We're a team.
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It's uter-us, not uter-you.
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-Forget it.
-Hmm.
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You know, Homer, I got
a great way to make money.
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I'm a human guinea pig.
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00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,157
You mean, like medical testing?
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00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:38,244
Yeah, medical, military, chewing stuff.
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-Chewing stuff?
-Yeah,
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like you chew on a telephone wire
186
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till you get a shock.
187
00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:45,209
Oh, oh, right. OK.
188
00:09:45,293 --> 00:09:47,253
Yeah, but aren't
those experiments dangerous?
189
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Ah, you get a few side effects.
190
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,341
-Are those ears?
-Ow! Not so loud!
191
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:54,969
Hmm...
192
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,350
First, we'll test this
experimental perfume on you.
193
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,185
It burns! It burns!
194
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:05,354
-(screaming)
-Hmm...
195
00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:08,816
-We'll call it "Desert Breeze."
-ALL: Mm-hmm.
196
00:10:08,899 --> 00:10:12,570
(humming)
197
00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:15,072
That appetite suppressant is amazing.
198
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:18,284
Homer, you really have
no desire to eat that food?
199
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:21,245
Food? I'm blind!
200
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:23,706
(screaming)
201
00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:26,000
Who's going to buy a pill
that makes you blind?
202
00:10:26,083 --> 00:10:28,419
We'll let marketing worry about that.
203
00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:31,464
(grunting)
204
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:34,884
(beeping, buzzing)
205
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:36,010
D'oh!
206
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:38,804
D'oh!
207
00:10:39,430 --> 00:10:40,890
Where did that rat come from?
208
00:10:40,973 --> 00:10:42,600
He must have brought it in with him.
209
00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:44,852
-Hmm...
-(buzzes)
210
00:10:44,935 --> 00:10:46,312
Damn it.
211
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:47,897
Man, is he dumb.
212
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,482
Where do they get these subjects?
213
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:51,942
He's a little too well-fed to be a wino.
214
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:53,486
Hey, what's that?
215
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,446
Zoom in on section eight.
216
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:01,160
Rotate 20 degrees.
217
00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:04,121
(beeping)
218
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:06,540
(both gasping)
219
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:12,880
Mr. Simpson, I'm afraid you have a crayon
lodged in your brain.
220
00:11:12,963 --> 00:11:15,424
There's a crayon in my brain?
221
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:19,512
But I've had thousands of head x-rays.
222
00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:21,514
How come no one ever noticed it before?
223
00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:23,182
Oh, I can answer that.
224
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:25,142
You see, whenever I pick up an x-ray,
225
00:11:25,226 --> 00:11:26,852
I always hold it like this.
226
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:30,648
My thumb must have covered up
the crayon every time.
227
00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:32,233
(chuckling)
228
00:11:32,316 --> 00:11:34,068
I'll show myself out.
229
00:11:34,151 --> 00:11:36,028
Do you have any idea
how this might have happened?
230
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:39,407
Well, I'm not sure,
but it might have happened
231
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,826
when I was six.
232
00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:44,912
Fourteen,
233
00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:47,873
fifteen,
234
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:50,376
sixteen!
235
00:11:51,252 --> 00:11:52,461
Whoo-hoo!
236
00:11:53,421 --> 00:11:55,673
Oh, I don't feel so good.
237
00:11:55,756 --> 00:11:58,342
(sneezing)
238
00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,886
Uh, I think that's all of them.
239
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:02,972
Mr. Simpson, this could be responsible
240
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:05,141
for your subnormal intelligence.
241
00:12:05,224 --> 00:12:06,684
Hey, I came here to be drugged,
242
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:09,061
electrocuted and probed, not insulted.
243
00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,105
We could remove the crayon for you.
244
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:13,691
It could vastly increase your brain power,
245
00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:15,067
or it could possibly kill you.
246
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:19,196
Hmm... increase my killing power, eh?
247
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,240
Let's do it.
248
00:12:21,323 --> 00:12:23,200
-(vehicle approaching)
-(tires screeching)
249
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,995
Oh, Homer, where have you been?
250
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:30,082
I just underwent a procedure
to increase my IQ 50 points.
251
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:32,251
-Really?
-And they gave me
252
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,920
this spiffy nerd ensemble, too.
253
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,922
Do you feel smarter?
254
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:39,759
Is the capital of North Dakota Bismarck?
255
00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:42,219
It is.
256
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:45,014
I don't believe it.
Say something else smart.
257
00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:46,891
Dr. Joyce Brothers may be well known,
258
00:12:46,974 --> 00:12:50,144
but her psychological
credentials are highly suspect.
259
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,104
It's true!
260
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:53,689
-Oh!
-(all gasping)
261
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,859
Now, who's up for a trip
to the library tomorrow?
262
00:12:56,942 --> 00:13:00,905
Notice I no longer say
"liberry" or "tomorry."
263
00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:03,157
I'd love to go to the library with you.
264
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:04,742
It's a date.
265
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:12,041
Dad, did you read all these books today?
266
00:13:12,124 --> 00:13:15,753
Everything from Hop on Pop
to Death Be Not Proud.
267
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:18,798
It's so tragic the way they hopped on Pop.
268
00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:21,342
I always dreamed
you'd be my library buddy.
269
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:23,135
-Get out.
-No, really.
270
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:26,180
I think books have an amazing
power to bring people together.
271
00:13:26,263 --> 00:13:28,933
Look, even Cletus is checking one out.
272
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,560
Now, hold still.
273
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,897
Nothing cracks a turtle like Leon Uris.
274
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,234
Ow! Dang it! Ow!
275
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,903
-(piano sonata ending)
-ANNOUNCER: That sonata may not be
276
00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:42,321
a Glenn Gould performance,
277
00:13:42,404 --> 00:13:45,491
but I must say it's "good as Gould."
278
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,117
(laughing)
279
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:51,038
Hey, Flanders, heading for church?
280
00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:53,123
Well, I thought I could
save you a little time.
281
00:13:53,207 --> 00:13:55,084
Ooh, found a new shortcut?
282
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:57,878
Better. I was working
on a flat tax proposal
283
00:13:57,962 --> 00:14:01,298
and I accidentally proved there's no God.
284
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,467
We'll just see about that.
285
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:07,054
Uh-oh. Well, maybe he made a mistake.
286
00:14:07,137 --> 00:14:09,431
Nope, it's airtight.
287
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:12,017
Can't let this little doozy get out.
288
00:14:13,894 --> 00:14:18,148
(whistling "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing")
289
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,652
Welcome to the third lecture in our series
290
00:14:21,735 --> 00:14:23,988
on "not putting things up your nose."
291
00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,240
Please welcome Homer Simpson.
292
00:14:26,323 --> 00:14:28,325
(sparse applause)
293
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,619
I am here to give hope to the least of you
294
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,289
because we all have a crayon up our nose.
295
00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:35,749
Maybe it's not a crayon made of wax.
296
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:39,545
-Maybe it's a crayon made of prejudice.
-Question.
297
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:41,839
-Yes, Nelson.
-A moron says what?
298
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:43,507
Not being a moron, I wouldn't know.
299
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,467
However... (mumbling)
300
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:47,636
-What?
-Ladies and gentlemen,
301
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,055
I give you your moron.
302
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:52,224
-(groans)
-(jeering laughter)
303
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,727
You see, it's cool to be smart.
304
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:58,814
So be like me, and use your minds.
305
00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,691
Paint a painting, sing a song,
306
00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:02,359
and dance a dance.
307
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:04,737
(cheering)
308
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:07,197
Thank you. Unfortunately,
due to budget cuts,
309
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,325
we are canceling art, music and dance.
310
00:15:09,408 --> 00:15:10,743
Please evacuate the auditorium
311
00:15:10,826 --> 00:15:12,912
before it's bulldozed into a mini-mall.
312
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:15,748
-(rumbling)
-(screaming)
313
00:15:19,126 --> 00:15:22,171
So... is that your usual coffee mug?
314
00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,715
-Yup.
-Huh. Looks a little bigger.
315
00:15:24,798 --> 00:15:27,593
-It's not.
-(Homer humming)
316
00:15:29,094 --> 00:15:30,679
Whatcha mailing, Homer?
317
00:15:30,763 --> 00:15:34,099
I've compiled a thorough
safety report on this plant.
318
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,060
How come you're not
giving it to Mr. Burns?
319
00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:38,854
I've decided to disintermediate
the local authorities
320
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,941
and send it straight to
the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.
321
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,943
Yeah, and just in time.
322
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,862
Every day there's more skin on my pillow.
323
00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:49,281
Yeah, it's nice to have
someone with brains
324
00:15:49,365 --> 00:15:50,866
in this nuclear plant.
325
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,743
Homer's the guy who rigged up my pants
326
00:15:52,826 --> 00:15:54,453
with this special codpiece.
327
00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:56,538
-Comfy, isn't it?
-Oh, yeah.
328
00:15:56,622 --> 00:16:00,125
It provides the freedom and protection
I so sorely need.
329
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,460
-(chuckles) Yeah!
-Yeah!
330
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:09,426
It seems the federales
331
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,221
have been tipped off
by an anonymous whistle-blower.
332
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:13,597
Mm-hmm.
333
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,684
Now, while the plant
is brought up to code,
334
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:18,936
-there will be massive layoffs.
-(all gasping)
335
00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:20,729
That is to say, total layoffs.
336
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:21,981
Toodles.
337
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:24,024
(indistinct chatter)
338
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,360
(tires squealing)
339
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:30,406
(groans) Way to put us
out of work, genius.
340
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,409
I can't feed my family with a codpiece.
341
00:16:34,785 --> 00:16:36,745
Hey, you can't hate me.
342
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,539
I'm your better.
343
00:16:38,872 --> 00:16:40,791
Your better!
344
00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:43,961
Ooh, you've really done it
this time, dum-dum.
345
00:16:44,044 --> 00:16:45,129
(moans)
346
00:16:49,633 --> 00:16:51,719
MEN (chanting): Burn! Burn! Burn!
347
00:16:51,802 --> 00:16:53,679
Burn! Burn! Burn!
348
00:16:53,762 --> 00:16:55,180
Effigy, eh?
349
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,182
Yeah, nothing burns like an effigy.
350
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:00,102
Hey, that's me.
351
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:01,645
Stop that.
352
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:04,231
The fire inspector would be appalled.
353
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:06,859
Don't tell me how to feel. (grunts)
354
00:17:08,235 --> 00:17:09,862
So, you all hate me?
355
00:17:09,945 --> 00:17:11,280
That's right, brainiac.
356
00:17:11,363 --> 00:17:12,656
You cost us our jobs,
357
00:17:12,740 --> 00:17:14,742
which we need for working.
358
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,660
Not to mention driving to.
359
00:17:16,744 --> 00:17:18,037
And I was a lot happier
360
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,581
before I knew Dame Edna was a man.
361
00:17:20,664 --> 00:17:21,790
A lot happier.
362
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,167
You ain't welcome here
363
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:25,085
no more, smart boy.
364
00:17:25,169 --> 00:17:28,172
Hmm. I'm detecting a distinct strain
365
00:17:28,255 --> 00:17:31,592
of anti-intellectualism
in this tavern-- Ah!
366
00:17:31,675 --> 00:17:33,761
Power off, Einstein.
367
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:37,890
Lisa, why didn't you warn me?
368
00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:41,435
Being a brain has alienated me
from all my friends.
369
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:45,397
Dad, as intelligence goes up,
happiness often goes down.
370
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:47,191
In fact, I made a graph.
371
00:17:47,858 --> 00:17:49,818
I make a lot of graphs.
372
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,945
Well, what gets you through the day?
373
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:55,491
Oh, many things, tai chi, chai tea.
374
00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:59,036
But I find, when I can't keep the unhappy
thoughts from swirling in my brain,
375
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,622
the best thing is
usually a nice, long walk.
376
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:04,917
A walk? That's a really good idea.
377
00:18:08,504 --> 00:18:10,714
Hmm? Hmm...
378
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,511
(all laughing)
379
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:18,055
Do you take this woman
380
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:20,099
to be your lawfully wedded wife?
381
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:21,725
BOTH: I do.
382
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,477
One groom...
383
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,312
Two grooms?
384
00:18:25,395 --> 00:18:26,605
But he...
385
00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:27,940
But you can't...
386
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:29,858
Oh, my medication.
387
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,610
(groans)
388
00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:32,986
Radical.
389
00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:35,114
Is that your final answer?
390
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:37,825
(laughing)
391
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,201
I don't understand.
392
00:18:39,284 --> 00:18:41,078
That wasn't funny.
393
00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:43,664
Wait a minute.
Somebody's not laughing here.
394
00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:46,041
-It's him.
-Hey, don't blame me.
395
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,043
This movie is tired and predictable.
396
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,546
You know she's going to
wind up marrying Richard Gere.
397
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:51,713
(all gasping)
398
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,383
I thought she'd wind up
with that rich snob.
399
00:18:54,466 --> 00:18:56,802
Ably played by Bill Paxton.
400
00:18:56,885 --> 00:19:00,389
It's Bill Pullman, you fool! Ah!
401
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:04,560
Point out your plot holes elsewhere.
402
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:07,563
Is there no place for the man
403
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:10,524
with the 105 IQ?
404
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:30,085
I'm a Spaulding Gray in a Rick Dees world.
405
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:32,796
Change me back to the blissful boob I was.
406
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,840
I'm sorry, we don't play God here.
407
00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:37,926
That's ridiculous.
You do nothing but play God.
408
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,637
And I think your octoparrot would agree.
409
00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:43,223
(squawks) Polly shouldn't be. (whistles)
410
00:19:43,307 --> 00:19:45,267
Look, what if we gave you the name
411
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,768
of an unlicensed surgeon?
412
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,562
Oh, that would be heaven.
413
00:19:49,104 --> 00:19:51,190
(stutters) "Moe Szyslak"?
414
00:19:51,273 --> 00:19:53,150
MOE: That's right. I'm a surgeon.
415
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:58,530
So what do you want here?
416
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,574
Appendectomy? Lipo?
417
00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:02,117
Or... the sampler?
418
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:03,368
That's very popular.
419
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,579
I want you to stick this crayon
420
00:20:05,662 --> 00:20:07,372
into my brain.
421
00:20:07,456 --> 00:20:08,832
No problem.
422
00:20:08,916 --> 00:20:12,002
The ol' Crayola oblongata.
423
00:20:17,633 --> 00:20:20,886
Ah. Now for a little powder blue.
424
00:20:22,721 --> 00:20:25,349
Oh, no. He wouldn't.
425
00:20:25,432 --> 00:20:28,560
All right. Tell me when I hit
the sweet spot.
426
00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:31,396
Deeper, you pusillanimous pilsener-pusher.
427
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:32,940
All right, all right.
428
00:20:34,024 --> 00:20:37,069
Defense! Uh! Uh! Defense! Uh! Uh!
429
00:20:37,152 --> 00:20:40,155
Uh, that's pretty dumb, but, uh...
430
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,407
Extended warranty?
431
00:20:42,491 --> 00:20:43,784
How can I lose?
432
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:44,868
Perfect.
433
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:50,374
Sweetheart, a missing crayon
could be anywhere.
434
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,210
Who wants lottery tickets?
435
00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:55,462
OK, it's in his brain.
436
00:20:55,545 --> 00:20:57,005
Dad, how could you?
437
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,675
We were connecting
in such a meaningful way.
438
00:20:59,758 --> 00:21:01,218
We were what-what in a what-what?
439
00:21:01,301 --> 00:21:02,678
(sighs)
440
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:05,555
Yeah, which reminds me, I need a sandwich.
441
00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:08,558
Hey, what's this?
442
00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:09,685
I don't know. Must be something
443
00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:11,520
I wrote before Moe fixed me.
444
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:16,441
"Lisa, I'm taking the coward's way out,
445
00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:19,361
but before I do, I just want you to know,
446
00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:23,865
being smart made me appreciate
how amazing you really are."
447
00:21:23,949 --> 00:21:26,535
-(munching loudly)
-Oh, Dad.
448
00:21:26,618 --> 00:21:27,786
Huh?
449
00:21:27,869 --> 00:21:29,871
Oh, you want a hug.
450
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:32,291
Well, that I know how to do.
451
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:36,545
-(grunting and chomping loudly)
-Mmm.
452
00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:39,798
Mmm... ug.
453
00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:48,432
(closing theme playing)
454
00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:27,179
Shh!
455
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:31,600
{\an8}Captioned by
Visual Data Media Services