1 00:00:02,043 --> 00:00:02,961 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:03,044 --> 00:00:06,464 CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 3 00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:18,643 (bell ringing) 4 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,191 (whistle blows) 5 00:00:29,821 --> 00:00:30,697 (beeping) 6 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:37,537 (playing the blues) 7 00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:53,928 (tires screeching) 8 00:00:58,892 --> 00:00:59,851 (honking horn) 9 00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:06,024 D'oh! 10 00:01:06,107 --> 00:01:07,817 (tires screeching) 11 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,235 -Whee! -Whoo-hoo! 12 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,863 -Ya-haa! -Yee-- Oh! D'oh! 13 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,343 Son of a diddly! 14 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,849 -(rock music playing) -HOMER: Mm-hmm. 15 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:42,602 {\an8}(humming) 16 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:47,649 -MARGE: Breakfast! -(whistling) 17 00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:49,692 {\an8}Breakfast? (giggling) 18 00:01:55,156 --> 00:01:57,075 {\an8}Aww... cereal? 19 00:01:57,158 --> 00:02:00,078 {\an8}You know I like my breakfast fried or chicken-fried. 20 00:02:00,161 --> 00:02:03,373 {\an8}It's a healthy cereal from Europe,Meus-lix. 21 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,041 (all shuddering) 22 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,252 They also make Juice-lix. 23 00:02:07,335 --> 00:02:09,254 (grunting) 24 00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:11,172 {\an8}-(doorbell rings) -That's Milhouse. 25 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:15,385 {\an8}-(ringing frantically) -And it sounds like he has big news! 26 00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,512 {\an8}-Yech! -(groans) 27 00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:20,223 {\an8}I'll get us out of this. Say, Dad. 28 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:23,518 {\an8}Wanna go see my project for the school science fair? 29 00:02:23,601 --> 00:02:25,270 {\an8}No, Lisa. 30 00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:29,649 {\an8}But I sure don't wanna eat this crappy breakfast. 31 00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:33,736 {\an8}(snickers) 32 00:02:33,820 --> 00:02:37,907 {\an8}Meet Linguo, the grammar robot. I built him all by myself. 33 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,702 {\an8}If you misuse language, he'll correct you. 34 00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:43,204 {\an8}Well, let's put him to the test. 35 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,582 {\an8}Me love beer. 36 00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,458 {\an8}I love beer. 37 00:02:47,542 --> 00:02:51,713 {\an8}-Oh, he loves beer. Here, little fella. -Dad, no! 38 00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:53,214 {\an8}Error. 39 00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,717 {\an8}I'm sorry. I thought he was a party robot. 40 00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:58,386 {\an8}Oh! This is why I can't have nice things. 41 00:02:58,469 --> 00:03:02,348 {\an8}(groaning) Every time I design a robot, somebody comes along and-- 42 00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:05,185 {\an8}-(sniffing) -(humming) 43 00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:08,396 {\an8}-Ooh! Can I have a brownie? -They're for after dinner. 44 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:12,442 {\an8}-Ooh! Can I have dinner? -You can't have a brownie, period. 45 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:16,237 -Homer wants a brownie. I'm gonna get one. -No. 46 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,072 -Coming in from the left. -Stop it. 47 00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,073 -Or is it the right? -Homer! 48 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,033 Look out for the reach-around! 49 00:03:20,116 --> 00:03:21,075 Hup, hup, ah, oh! 50 00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,995 He shoots, he sc-- (screams) My thumb! 51 00:03:25,246 --> 00:03:27,624 -Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! -I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! 52 00:03:27,707 --> 00:03:31,419 (groaning) Sorry doesn't put thumbs on the hand, Marge! 53 00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:34,756 Well, calm down. If we hurry, they can reattach your thumb. 54 00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:37,383 Reattach a thumb? This isn't Gattaca! 55 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:39,385 -We've just gotta get your thumb to the-- -(both gasp) 56 00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:40,887 MARGE: Where did it go? 57 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,224 -(gasps) -(growling) 58 00:03:44,307 --> 00:03:46,351 OK, boy. Drop the thumb. 59 00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:48,144 (growling) 60 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:51,231 Nobody's gonna tackle you. (grunts) 61 00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:53,691 D'oh! Come back with my thumb! 62 00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:55,860 (dial tone) 63 00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,987 9-1-1. This better be good. 64 00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,948 I cut off my husband's thumb. 65 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:02,033 Attempted murder? 66 00:04:02,116 --> 00:04:04,953 You'll burn for this-- burn in jail! 67 00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:09,082 -It was an accident! -Yeah, yeah. Save it for Dateline Tuesday. 68 00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:11,793 Uh, what's your address so I can come arrest you? 69 00:04:11,876 --> 00:04:14,587 Arrest me? Um, my address... 70 00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:19,133 it's, um, 123 Fake Street. 71 00:04:19,217 --> 00:04:21,636 "123 Fake Street." Got it. 72 00:04:21,719 --> 00:04:24,013 -Come on! Come on, boy. -(barking) 73 00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:27,058 Oh, please give it back! 74 00:04:27,141 --> 00:04:29,602 You want people food? I can get you people food. 75 00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,688 -(barks) -Oh! 76 00:04:31,771 --> 00:04:33,731 I have nothing he wants! 77 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:37,277 {\an8}And Harry Potter and all his wizard friends... 78 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,446 {\an8}went straight to hell for practicing witchcraft. 79 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:41,698 {\an8}Yay! 80 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:44,617 -(barks) -What the diddlio? 81 00:04:44,701 --> 00:04:46,494 -Give me back my thumb! -(barking) 82 00:04:46,577 --> 00:04:47,704 -(grunts) -(whimpers) 83 00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:52,000 (whistle tooting) 84 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:54,002 (gasps, grunts) 85 00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:56,838 (crying) 86 00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:58,631 MARGE: We've gotta get to the hospital, Homer! 87 00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:01,551 OK. If the doctor asks why you cut it off, 88 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,761 you caught me in bed with four beautiful women. 89 00:05:03,845 --> 00:05:05,722 -Let's just say that Bart did it. -(crash) 90 00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:08,725 Oh, doodlebugs. 91 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:13,896 My Ferrari! I had to do awful things to pay for her. 92 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:17,066 -(grunts) -Homer, help! 93 00:05:17,775 --> 00:05:19,819 HOMER (whispering): Marge! Over here! 94 00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:25,950 -(tires screeching) -(yelling) 95 00:05:28,077 --> 00:05:31,122 (door sensor dinging) 96 00:05:31,205 --> 00:05:35,376 I'm sorry, Homer. Your H.M.O. doesn't cover this type of injury. 97 00:05:35,460 --> 00:05:37,503 But I have finger insurance! 98 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:41,007 -A thumb is not a finger. -Isn't there anything you can do? 99 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:44,344 Well, I could cut off the other thumb for a sense of symmetry. 100 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:45,845 Symmetry, eh? 101 00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:49,390 Hibbert's really losing it. We're going to Dr. Nick's. 102 00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,393 We need more ice. My thumb is fading fast! 103 00:05:54,145 --> 00:05:56,439 Quick! Moe, Marge cut off my thumb! 104 00:05:56,522 --> 00:05:59,692 No problem. Just stick the old eye-gouger in the pickle brine. 105 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,320 That'll keep your thumb fresh and delicious. 106 00:06:02,403 --> 00:06:03,529 Thanks, Moe. 107 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,490 Hey, ah, hey, ain't you going to have a beer? 108 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:10,703 Well, I really shouldn't, what with my massive blood loss and all. 109 00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,955 Although I do like the occasional beer. 110 00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:13,915 (gulps) 111 00:06:14,832 --> 00:06:17,502 Did you ever see that Blue Man Group? 112 00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:20,129 Total rip-off of the Smurfs. 113 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,757 And the Smurfs-- They suck! 114 00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,760 (sniffing) Uh-oh. I smell gangrene. 115 00:06:25,843 --> 00:06:28,638 -We gotta wake him up. -A little coffee'll do the trick. 116 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,392 (muttering) What? 117 00:06:32,475 --> 00:06:34,519 Ooh! I gotta get to Dr. Nick's! 118 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:39,941 Where's Marge? Oh, that is so rude. 119 00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:43,277 Oh! I know. I'll hitchhike! 120 00:06:47,156 --> 00:06:49,033 Oh, why isn't this working? 121 00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:51,619 (country music playing on car stereo) 122 00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:58,334 -Hey, thanks for stopping. -T'ain't nothin'. 123 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,003 You and me share a common infirmity. 124 00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:05,007 If anyone ever tells you a hog won't eat a finger, they's lyin'. 125 00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:09,220 -(tires screeching) -(clucking) 126 00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:15,184 Oh, crap! It's on fire! 127 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:19,063 {\an8}Inflammable means flammable? What a country! 128 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:21,274 Can you drive me to Shelbyville Hospital? 129 00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:23,067 -I reckon so. -(tires screeching) 130 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:26,821 Hey! Somebody done "stoleded" my wheels! 131 00:07:26,904 --> 00:07:29,740 Thanks a lot. Now I gotta walk to Shelbyville. 132 00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:32,493 (horn honking) 133 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:35,997 (moans) It's too late. 134 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:43,045 Well, old friend, we always knew this day would come. 135 00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,256 Say good-bye to your brother. 136 00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:48,301 -(explosion) -What the hell! 137 00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:52,805 (gasps) Linguo... dead? 138 00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,557 Linguo... 139 00:07:55,099 --> 00:07:56,100 is... 140 00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,312 -dead. -(powering off) 141 00:08:16,787 --> 00:08:18,039 Son of a diddly! 142 00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:24,462 (new Age meditation music playing) 143 00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,552 MARGE: Breakfast! 144 00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,471 -(doorbell rings) -That's Milhouse. 145 00:08:33,554 --> 00:08:37,016 -(ringing frantically) -And it sounds like he has big news! 146 00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:39,810 -Yech! -(groans) 147 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,688 I'll get us out of this. Say, Dad. 148 00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:45,858 Wanna go see my project for the school science fair? 149 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,485 No, Lisa. 150 00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:51,822 But I sure don't wanna eat this crappy breakfast. 151 00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,494 {\an8}-Here, little fella. -Dad, no! 152 00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:57,870 Error. 153 00:08:57,954 --> 00:09:00,331 I'm sorry. I thought he was a party robot. 154 00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:02,959 Oh! This is why I can't have nice things! 155 00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:05,086 (groaning) 156 00:09:05,169 --> 00:09:06,963 Every time I design a robot, somebody comes along and-- 157 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:07,880 (sniffing) 158 00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:15,930 {\an8}Hang on, Linguo. You'll be up and conjugating in no time. 159 00:09:16,013 --> 00:09:18,516 HOMER (screams): My thumb! 160 00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:21,644 Quiet, please. Some of us are trying to weld. 161 00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:24,021 Almost done. Just lay still. 162 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:27,400 {\an8}-Lie still. -I knew that. Just testing. 163 00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:28,776 {\an8}Sentence fragment. 164 00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:32,488 "Sentence fragment" is also a sentence fragment. 165 00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,491 -Must conserve battery power. -(powers off) 166 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,868 -Just come on. -(horn honking) 167 00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:38,953 Uh-oh! The bus! 168 00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:42,582 Hey, stop! Wait! 169 00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:46,794 Oh! Any day but science project day! 170 00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:50,089 Kiss first place good-bye, Lisa! 171 00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:52,592 {\an8}-(sinister laughter) -(electrical crackling) 172 00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:55,845 Oh, no! 173 00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:58,389 Somebody took my bike! (groans) 174 00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:01,559 Mom, I need a ride to school! 175 00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,936 MARGE: We gotta get to the hospital, Homer! 176 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:05,563 (groans) 177 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,190 (music from Run Lola Run playing) 178 00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:18,492 (screams) 179 00:10:19,827 --> 00:10:22,288 Idiot! You almost ran over a viewer! 180 00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:25,916 And she's in our key demo! Sorry about that, kid. Need a ride? 181 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,377 -Can you take me to school, Krusty? -Hop in. 182 00:10:31,255 --> 00:10:34,342 Hey, moron. Springfield Elementary, and step on it. 183 00:10:34,842 --> 00:10:35,968 (chittering) 184 00:10:37,386 --> 00:10:39,472 (siren wails) 185 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:42,683 Hey, Teeny, you know where 123 Fake Street is? 186 00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:44,060 {\an8}(chittering) 187 00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,979 Ah, it's OK. Hey, we got the same hat. 188 00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:51,901 -Thanks, Mr. Teeny. -(chitters) 189 00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:59,492 -Wha-- -(speaking French) La grenouille 190 00:10:59,575 --> 00:11:01,577 mange le pamplemousse. 191 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:06,207 ALL: La grenouille mange le pamplemousse. 192 00:11:06,290 --> 00:11:09,001 (in English) Huh? This isn't Miss Hoover's class. 193 00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:13,673 I do not know this Mademoiselle "'oovair" of which you speak. 194 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,050 What's happening? Where am I? 195 00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:19,470 Sacre bleu! What a foolish question! 196 00:11:19,553 --> 00:11:22,515 You are at West Springfield Elementary School. 197 00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:24,392 West Springfield? 198 00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:28,104 I'm at the wrong school! 199 00:11:28,187 --> 00:11:31,941 -(all laughing) -En Français. 200 00:11:32,024 --> 00:11:34,151 (haughty laughter) 201 00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,362 (gasps) Sorry. 202 00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:39,031 I was rushing because I'm in the wrong school. 203 00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,825 (giggles) Can you believe that? 204 00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:42,368 It's understandable. 205 00:11:42,451 --> 00:11:45,246 All the schools in this area were built from identical plans. 206 00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:48,457 I guess they didn't have enough money to hire I.M. Pei. 207 00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:52,128 Oh. You know about I.M. Pei? 208 00:11:52,211 --> 00:11:53,921 I.M. impressed. 209 00:11:54,004 --> 00:11:57,299 (both laughing and snorting) 210 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,677 -My name's Thelonious. -As in Monk? 211 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,888 Yes. The esoteric appeal is worth the beatings. 212 00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:06,225 -What do your friends call you? -I don't really have any friends. 213 00:12:06,308 --> 00:12:08,728 (gasps) Just like me! 214 00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:13,691 ("Happy Together" playing) 215 00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,698 Oh, my God! 216 00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:24,368 It's 11:15! We've been spinning for hours. 217 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:27,496 I've got to get to my school and hand in Linguo. 218 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,874 Oh, but I don't want to leave you. 219 00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:33,252 You must. You can't sacrifice grades for romance. 220 00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:36,172 -That's not the girl I fell for. -Will I ever see you again? 221 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:39,967 Of course you will... at the magnet high school. Now, go. 222 00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:41,802 (music from Run Lola Run playing) 223 00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:45,806 (panting) 224 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,808 Hmm. It's noon. 225 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:50,102 That's about when Dad gets the brew shakes. 226 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:55,441 My dad's not here? I need a ride to school! 227 00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:57,943 -Yeah, yeah. We all got problems. -(whimpering) 228 00:12:58,027 --> 00:13:01,989 Chief Wiggum, can you drive me to school? It's an emergency! 229 00:13:02,072 --> 00:13:05,159 Ah, no can do, doll face. I got an informant wearing a wire. 230 00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:07,745 (chuckles) Just like on Nash Bridges. 231 00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,497 We're trying to get the goods on some smugglers. 232 00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:10,414 (frequency whirring) 233 00:13:10,498 --> 00:13:13,959 FAT TONY: Why, I'd be delighted to sell you some illegally smuggled goods. 234 00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:17,713 -That sounds like Fat Tony. -Only one way to be sure. 235 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,049 Fat Tony, is that you? Fat Tony? 236 00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:21,926 FAT TONY: Hey, where's that voice coming from? 237 00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:24,762 -MAN 1: This guy's wearing a wire! -MAN 2: Take him out! 238 00:13:24,845 --> 00:13:26,889 (gunfire) 239 00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:29,767 My bad. I can't work my answering machine either. 240 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:32,269 (chuckles) Now I need a new informant. 241 00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:35,356 Say, Lisa, people trust you. How would you like to be a snitch? 242 00:13:35,439 --> 00:13:37,107 -The pay stinks, but-- -(footsteps receding) 243 00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:38,776 Oh. 244 00:13:39,443 --> 00:13:41,445 Quick! Moe, Marge cut off my thumb! 245 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:43,447 (music from Run Lola Run playing) 246 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,034 -(horn honking) -Lisa! 247 00:13:47,117 --> 00:13:49,495 Mom, where'd you get that car? 248 00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:52,748 I stole it from McBain after I cut off your father's thumb. 249 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,750 Can you take me to school, please? 250 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,794 Not right now. Your father's in there, and-- 251 00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:59,755 HOMER: Did you ever see that Blue Man Group? 252 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,966 Oh, he's on the Blue Man Group again. 253 00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:03,634 Come on. We've got lots of time. 254 00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,351 -(engine sputters, stalls) -Oh, no! 255 00:14:12,434 --> 00:14:17,815 We're out of gas. I couldn't figure out this stupid Italian gas gauge. 256 00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,900 Oh, I've gotta get to school! 257 00:14:19,984 --> 00:14:22,444 (country song playing on car stereo) 258 00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,573 Hmm. Let's hitch a ride with that hick. 259 00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:27,658 (both panting) 260 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:32,538 Abracathumbra! 261 00:14:32,621 --> 00:14:34,415 (laughing) 262 00:14:34,498 --> 00:14:38,168 Dang! You could be one of them TV magic queers. 263 00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,674 -(tires screeching) -(clucking) 264 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,178 Shoo! 265 00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:51,348 Mom, I have to get to school! It's 10 to 3:00! 266 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:56,645 Well, I've already borrowed one car. Let's go! 267 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:03,402 Somebody done stoleded my wheels. 268 00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:06,238 Thanks a lot! Now I gotta walk to Shelbyville. 269 00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:08,991 There's the school! 270 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,869 First place, here I come. 271 00:15:13,996 --> 00:15:16,332 (gasps) Look out! 272 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:17,625 Bart! 273 00:15:17,708 --> 00:15:19,919 -(tires screeching) -(gasps, screams) 274 00:15:33,098 --> 00:15:34,475 Son of a diddly! 275 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:41,732 Hey, hey! Hey, hey! Hey, hey! 276 00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:45,110 Lazy, huh? Get him, boys! 277 00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:46,362 -(music playing) -Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! 278 00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:47,863 OK, OK! 279 00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,619 MARGE: Breakfast! 280 00:15:53,702 --> 00:15:55,663 -(doorbell rings) -That's Milhouse. 281 00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:59,500 -(ringing frantically) -And it sounds like he has big news! 282 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:06,006 {\an8}-I found something awesome in the woods! -Is it a dead body? 283 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:09,426 {\an8}-It's cooler than a million dead bodies! -(snickers) 284 00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:11,428 You take my sister's bike. 285 00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:14,640 Let's see. Front door. Back door. 286 00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:17,059 Skinner's. Flanders'. Your house. 287 00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:18,394 Ah! Lisa's bike. 288 00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:26,235 -What's it like riding a girl's bike? -It's disturbingly comfortable. 289 00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:33,659 Whoa! How'd you find it? 290 00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:37,621 -This is where I come to cry. -Cool. 291 00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,168 Wow! Sacks! 292 00:16:43,252 --> 00:16:44,712 Burlap sacks! 293 00:16:44,795 --> 00:16:47,423 It gets better. They're full of fireworks! 294 00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:51,301 Bottle rockets, Frog-Launchers, Weeping Mommas... 295 00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:53,387 Tijuana Toilet Crackers! 296 00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:56,265 Three, two, one. Gnomes, blow up. 297 00:16:57,725 --> 00:17:00,227 (both laughing hysterically) 298 00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,317 (grunting loudly) 299 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,987 -(high-pitched screaming) -We're not ready! 300 00:17:10,070 --> 00:17:11,321 (sinister chuckle) 301 00:17:12,448 --> 00:17:14,992 -(grunts) -Uh-oh. 302 00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:20,497 So what are we doing, a lengthening or a widening? 303 00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:23,375 Yargh, uh... let's make it both. 304 00:17:23,459 --> 00:17:26,962 -Yargh! -Don't worry. It's inflammable. 305 00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,633 Let's keep this our little secret. 306 00:17:31,717 --> 00:17:34,970 -(siren wailing) -Oh, we gotta hide! 307 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:37,598 We'll be safe in here. 308 00:17:43,937 --> 00:17:46,023 Here we are. 123 Fake Street. 309 00:17:46,106 --> 00:17:48,275 The home of Knifey Wifey. 310 00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:51,236 Hey, Chief, can I hold my gun sideways? It looks so cool. 311 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,322 (chuckling) Ah, sure. 312 00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:55,324 Whatever you want, birthday boy. 313 00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,620 OK, drop the knife, Stabatha! I-- 314 00:17:59,703 --> 00:18:02,456 -(both grunt) -Great grilled-cheese ghost! 315 00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:05,042 We've uncovered a hard-core cracker house. 316 00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,877 There's enough Chinese sky candy here... 317 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:09,588 to put you boys away for a long time. 318 00:18:09,671 --> 00:18:13,634 {\an8}I can't go to juvie. They use guys like me as currency! 319 00:18:13,717 --> 00:18:16,053 {\an8}Yeah. They'll pass you around like-- 320 00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:18,514 {\an8}Well, like currency, like you said. 321 00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:20,474 Maybe we can make you boys a deal. 322 00:18:23,477 --> 00:18:25,813 Your mission is to find the fireworks smugglers 323 00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:29,066 and get them to say something incriminating on this tape. 324 00:18:29,983 --> 00:18:31,276 Hootie and the Blowfish? 325 00:18:31,610 --> 00:18:33,445 Yeah. It's cheaper than blank tape. 326 00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:37,032 Great idea to smuggle fireworks, boss. 327 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,409 Yeah, I was gettin' sick of running those unions. 328 00:18:39,493 --> 00:18:41,370 So much paperwork. 329 00:18:41,453 --> 00:18:43,288 Knock-knock. Excuse me. 330 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:47,000 My friend and I were interested in purchasing quality fireworks. 331 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,794 Yes, we are. 332 00:18:48,877 --> 00:18:53,257 Why, I'd be delighted to sell you some illegally smuggled goods. 333 00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:56,468 {\an8}WIGGUM (on radio): Fat Tony, is that you? Fat Tony? 334 00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:59,763 {\an8}-Hey, where's that voice coming from? -This guy's wearing a wire! 335 00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:01,807 Take him out! 336 00:19:02,182 --> 00:19:04,101 (grunting) 337 00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:05,394 Whoa! 338 00:19:06,645 --> 00:19:09,106 -WIGGUM: My bad. -(grunts) 339 00:19:15,028 --> 00:19:15,988 MAN 1: Hey, there they are! 340 00:19:16,530 --> 00:19:18,991 Gentlemen, remove your guns from your holsters. 341 00:19:19,074 --> 00:19:20,951 -Shoulder or ankle? -Surprise me. 342 00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:25,289 -(both whimpering) -(groaning) 343 00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:28,876 Milhouse, quick! 344 00:19:31,628 --> 00:19:33,964 (gasps) Look out! 345 00:19:34,047 --> 00:19:35,257 Bart! 346 00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:37,551 -(tires screeching) -(gasps, screams) 347 00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:39,219 (clunks) 348 00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:42,389 -Ow! Mom! -MILHOUSE: Hurry up, Bart! 349 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,322 (tires screeching) 350 00:19:58,405 --> 00:19:59,990 (both panting, gasping) 351 00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:01,783 You ain't goin' nowhere! 352 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:04,036 You leave those boys alone! 353 00:20:05,412 --> 00:20:07,998 -(grunts) -(yelling) 354 00:20:09,124 --> 00:20:11,293 Hey, they's throwin' robots! 355 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:14,171 They are throwing robots. 356 00:20:14,254 --> 00:20:17,007 He's disrespecting us. Shut up-a you face! 357 00:20:17,090 --> 00:20:19,509 Shut up your face. 358 00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:22,387 -What's the matter you? -You ain't so big. 359 00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:24,514 Me and him are gonna whack you in the labonza! 360 00:20:24,598 --> 00:20:28,727 Um-uh... mm... Bad grammar overload! 361 00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:31,313 {\an8}Error! Error! 362 00:20:31,813 --> 00:20:34,942 -(explosion) -What the hell! 363 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,321 (gasps) Linguo... dead? 364 00:20:43,325 --> 00:20:45,410 (both shuddering) 365 00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,579 It's all right, boys. 366 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,748 Oh, thank goodness everyone's OK. 367 00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:52,876 Except your thumb, and Lisa's science project. 368 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:56,004 {\an8}I couldn't help but notice your respective predicaments. 369 00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:59,591 {\an8}Perhaps I may offer a bipartite solution. 370 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,598 There you go. Enjoy your thumb. 371 00:21:06,682 --> 00:21:08,433 LISA: As the circulation returns, 372 00:21:08,517 --> 00:21:12,354 the subject prepares for a long and painful recovery. 373 00:21:14,439 --> 00:21:17,526 {\an8}It's lucky for me that Legs was an experienced Mob doctor. 374 00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:22,364 He once pulled a slug out of my arm and inserted it into a stoolie's brain. 375 00:21:22,447 --> 00:21:24,533 That's a first place science project, Lisa. 376 00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:26,076 (all cheering) 377 00:21:28,161 --> 00:21:31,623 Boy, this sure was one crazy day. 378 00:21:32,624 --> 00:21:35,043 -Right, Mr. Teeny? -(chuckling) 379 00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:38,255 (all laughing) 380 00:21:38,338 --> 00:21:41,091 {\an8}(chittering loudly) 381 00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:44,511 (theme music playing) 382 00:22:26,553 --> 00:22:29,139 -(laughter) -FRENCH TEACHER: En Francais. 383 00:22:29,222 --> 00:22:30,891 (haughty laughter) 384 00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:33,435 Captioned by Visual Data Media Services