1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:03,169 (theme music playing) 2 00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,506 CHORUS: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 3 00:00:16,933 --> 00:00:18,643 (bell ringing) 4 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,066 (whistle blows) 5 00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:30,822 (beeping) 6 00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:37,620 (playing the blues) 7 00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:48,506 (chimes) 8 00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:53,970 (tires screeching) 9 00:00:58,975 --> 00:00:59,851 (honking horn) 10 00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,066 D'oh! 11 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:07,817 (tires screeching) 12 00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,502 {\an8}BART: Ice cream at church? 13 00:01:25,585 --> 00:01:27,378 {\an8}I'm intrigued, yet suspicious. 14 00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:30,924 {\an8}Wow, look at all these flavors. 15 00:01:31,007 --> 00:01:34,010 {\an8}"Blessed Virgin Berry, Command-Mint, Bible-Gum." 16 00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:37,305 {\an8}Or if you prefer, we also have Unitarian ice cream. 17 00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,350 {\an8}-There's nothing here. -Exactly. 18 00:01:40,433 --> 00:01:43,186 {\an8}One Tower of Babel and build it to heaven. 19 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,773 {\an8}To heaven! 20 00:01:46,856 --> 00:01:48,858 {\an8}Oh. 21 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,318 {\an8}(grunting) 22 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,445 {\an8}Christ be with you. 23 00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:55,156 {\an8}(groaning) 24 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,866 {\an8}D'oh! (groans) 25 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,535 {\an8}(clears throat) Hi. 26 00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:02,330 {\an8}I've created the first intra-bovine ice-cream maker. 27 00:02:02,413 --> 00:02:04,457 {\an8}It makes use of all four stomachs. 28 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:08,336 {\an8}The first being filled with rock salt, then sugar, cream... 29 00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:12,090 {\an8}and of course, Freon so cold it burns me. 30 00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:14,551 {\an8}I'll have the darkety kind. 31 00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:17,011 {\an8}Uh, one chocolate, Mootilda. 32 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:19,097 (moos) 33 00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:21,599 (gulps) 34 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,602 {\an8}Can I have a swirl of chocolate and vanilla? 35 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:27,814 {\an8}-Huh? Uh-uh! -Oh, nonsense. You can do it. 36 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,984 {\an8}-(moos) -(yelps) Ivan Reitman! 37 00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,777 -(whining) -Ow! 38 00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:37,282 {\an8}-I've never seen a brain freeze this bad. -(whining) 39 00:02:37,365 --> 00:02:39,617 {\an8}Give me 50cc's of hot fudge, stat. 40 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:43,913 {\an8}Hold still. You're gonna feel a slight chocolaty sensation. 41 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,166 {\an8}(gurgling) 42 00:02:46,249 --> 00:02:48,042 {\an8}(relieved sigh) 43 00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:50,253 {\an8}(P.A. feedback squeals) 44 00:02:50,336 --> 00:02:53,131 {\an8}All right, let's welcome this evening's entertainment. 45 00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:55,842 {\an8}They call her the Christian Madonna... 46 00:02:55,925 --> 00:02:57,844 {\an8}Rachel Jordan! 47 00:02:57,927 --> 00:03:00,722 {\an8}(applause, whistling) 48 00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:04,017 {\an8}♪ Jesus loves me this I'm sure ♪ 49 00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:06,644 {\an8}♪ I'm a groupie on his tour... ♪ 50 00:03:06,728 --> 00:03:08,146 {\an8}-(singing continues) -Rachel Jordan? 51 00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:10,190 {\an8}Isn't that the woman you had a crush on, Ned? 52 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:14,194 {\an8}(stammering) I didn't have a "crush" on her. 53 00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:17,322 -Are you blushing, Mr. Flanders? -No, I'm not- 54 00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:19,949 -Leave Ned alone. -Thank you, Homer. 55 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:23,369 He can't admit he likes her till he's sure she likes him back. 56 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,246 And there's only one way to find out. 57 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,624 {\an8}Does... Rachel... like... Ned? 58 00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:30,960 It says I have cooties. 59 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,755 Flanders has cooties! Flanders has cooties! 60 00:03:33,838 --> 00:03:35,381 (applause) 61 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:41,554 {\an8}That was great. I can't believe she found a rhyme for Hezekiah. 62 00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:43,640 Hey, she's coming this way! 63 00:03:43,723 --> 00:03:45,058 (gasps, clears throat) 64 00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:46,768 I thought you didn't like her. 65 00:03:46,851 --> 00:03:49,187 (all laugh) 66 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:53,149 -Oh! -(gasps) Ned Flanders? 67 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,235 Now, where have you been hi-diddly-hiding? 68 00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:58,863 Uh-uh-uh... Oh, hey, Rachel. (chuckles) Well, what do you know? 69 00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,282 We both like plain vanilla with nothin' on it. 70 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,409 Actually, all the toppings were gone. 71 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,578 (both groan) 72 00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:09,415 Ants are crawling in my mouth, and I don't care. 73 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,459 So, uh, where's your band? 74 00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:14,337 They switched from Christian music to regular pop. 75 00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,589 All you do is change "Jesus" to "baby." 76 00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:19,509 -Oh, how horrible. -Uh! They'll all go to hell. 77 00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:21,052 Say, how's your life going? 78 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:24,597 {\an8}Ooh, she wants to know how your life is going. 79 00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:29,060 {\an8}Well, my wife's passing was rough. But I think I'm finally ready to move on. 80 00:04:29,143 --> 00:04:32,105 That's great. Maybe we could have coffee sometime. 81 00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:35,775 Oh, she wants to have coffee sometime! 82 00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:39,404 -I can hear her, Homer! -He can hear you, Rachel! 83 00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:40,947 (clears throat) I'd love to get together, 84 00:04:41,030 --> 00:04:43,825 but tomorrow I've got lifeguard duty at the baptismal pool. 85 00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,910 OK. Well, maybe another time. 86 00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:48,037 You know, I'd better go check into my hotel. 87 00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,790 Hotel? Why don't you just stay at Ned's place? 88 00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:52,542 My place? What would the neighbors think? 89 00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,460 We're the neighbors, and we don't think. 90 00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,879 Ned, I understand if you feel uncomfortable. 91 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,423 You're still getting over your wife. 92 00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:00,383 Now, wait just a Maude-gone minute, here! 93 00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:03,636 I'm through livin' in the past, and you can see for yourself. 94 00:05:08,182 --> 00:05:10,810 Well, you've certainly got a theme going. 95 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:14,105 All right, I'll take the couch, and you can have my room. 96 00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:16,649 Oh, uh, could you sleep on my side? 97 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,901 I'm trying to preserve Maude's indentation. 98 00:05:19,902 --> 00:05:21,696 -Sorry. -Oh, no problem! 99 00:05:21,779 --> 00:05:23,323 A little starch will fix her right up. 100 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,993 -(shudders) -Cold, huh? 101 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:29,412 This should keep you toasty. 102 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,457 {\an8}How about that? It says "Maude." 103 00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:36,210 {\an8}(sniffs) Mmm, I love chenille. Don't you? 104 00:05:36,294 --> 00:05:38,171 {\an8}I don't love it. I don't hate it. 105 00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:40,965 Mmm, well, good night, Maude. I mean, Maude. 106 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,259 I mean, Rachel! I mean, Maude. 107 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:44,844 {\an8}Oop! 108 00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:48,765 (Ned humming) 109 00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:54,854 (gasps, shrieks) 110 00:05:54,937 --> 00:05:59,067 Oh, my God! You're trying to make me look like your dead wife! 111 00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:02,445 No, no, now, I-- I know this is a... tad unseemly 112 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,655 but if you just let me even out the back- 113 00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:07,700 I'm calling a cab! Good-bye, Ned! 114 00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:11,579 {\an8}-(door slams) -Oh, who am I kidding? 115 00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:13,373 {\an8}I'm not over Maude at all. 116 00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:15,083 HOMER: Yeah, maybe it was too soon. 117 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:19,962 Well? Aren't you gonna invite me in? 118 00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:24,550 I sure appreciate you folks offering to go through Maude's things. 119 00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,928 If it were up to me, I wouldn't throw anything away. 120 00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:29,806 Oh, don't you worry. We'll make all the hard decisions 121 00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,182 so you don't have to. 122 00:06:31,265 --> 00:06:34,310 {\an8}-We can take whatever we want, right? -Ye-- What? 123 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:38,439 {\an8}Don't listen to him. You just have a good time at the eye doctor. 124 00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:39,732 Always do! 125 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:42,193 -HOMER: Say, "Bye, Mr. Flanders." -CHILDREN: Bye, Mr. Flanders! 126 00:06:45,696 --> 00:06:47,365 MARGE: Poor Ned. 127 00:06:47,448 --> 00:06:50,743 He can't look anywhere without being reminded of Maude. 128 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:53,913 Yeah, a lifetime of memories. (grunts) 129 00:06:53,996 --> 00:06:56,499 Homer, don't you have any respect? 130 00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:59,377 Sure. Of course I do. But life goes on. 131 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:01,504 Ashes to ashes. Turn, turn, turn. 132 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,381 Long live rock, and so forth. 133 00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,633 (humming) 134 00:07:05,716 --> 00:07:08,636 {\an8}Don't throw this away. It's Rod's first tooth. 135 00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:10,638 You're right. We could use this for witchcraft. 136 00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:14,267 Wow. Three pairs of shoes. 137 00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:16,519 Someone had a fetish. 138 00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:19,439 {\an8}-(music box slows, stops) -(Homer grunting) 139 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,607 Man, this is taking forever. 140 00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,734 I know how to speed things up. 141 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,403 (whining, grinding) 142 00:07:30,032 --> 00:07:32,076 -(banging) -Her pillow's stuck. 143 00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:33,744 (gulps) 144 00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:39,333 NED: Oh, my. The room looks so bare. 145 00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:42,962 -Are you OK, Ned? -Yeah, just a little shocked. 146 00:07:43,045 --> 00:07:44,881 What's that? Some kind of sorting machine? 147 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,674 -Kinda. -(whining, grinding) 148 00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,345 Now for the awkward part. 149 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,097 -We gotta talk about money. -(gasps) 150 00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:54,932 You said we were doing this out of friendship. 151 00:07:55,016 --> 00:07:56,726 What? That doesn't sound like me. 152 00:07:56,809 --> 00:07:59,395 {\an8}Hey, Dad. Something didn't get, um, "sorted." 153 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,356 (gasps) Maude's old sketchbook. 154 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,941 She was quite the little artist, you know. 155 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:06,444 Oh, eh, is that a fact? And you think you know someone. 156 00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:09,822 There's our house. A rainbow. 157 00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,783 Oh, a white hand shaking a black hand. 158 00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:15,786 "Praiseland"? 159 00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:19,415 "Rides, food"? A"tithing pond"? 160 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:23,044 -LISA: It looks like an amusement park. -NED: You're right! 161 00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:25,505 Maude designed a Christian amusement park. 162 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:28,841 -Oh, it must've been her final dream. -Hey, how about that? 163 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,760 {\an8}Let's build it for her, Daddy. 164 00:08:30,843 --> 00:08:32,845 (chuckles) Oh, that's a nice thought, Toddy. 165 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:38,351 But to build an amusement park, you need lots of money and manpower and turnstiles. 166 00:08:38,434 --> 00:08:40,186 But Mommy wanted it. 167 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,782 Hmm? 168 00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:54,742 But where do you put something that big? 169 00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:57,161 You could fix up the old Storytime Village. 170 00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:00,081 They've been out of business ever since that kid got his head cut off. 171 00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:03,084 -That sounds perfect. -Well, what the heck? 172 00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:06,671 -Who's ready to build an amusement park? -ALL: Yay! 173 00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:11,008 Sell Storytime Village? 174 00:09:11,092 --> 00:09:13,469 Why, you gotta be off your tuffet! 175 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,180 Well, it's been closed for so long, and-- and l-- 176 00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:19,684 I thought I could turn it into a-- a Christian theme park. 177 00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:23,312 Christian, eh? Well, that's different. 178 00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:26,107 Now, the thing is I don't have a lot of money. 179 00:09:26,190 --> 00:09:29,193 And what the hell good are you? Beat it, you hippie! 180 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,696 -But l-- -You're right. That was harsh. 181 00:09:31,779 --> 00:09:32,697 Tell you what. 182 00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:35,866 Maybe I could donate the park as a tax write-off. 183 00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:40,705 (gasps) If you could do that, I'd make this place a shining beacon for the Lord! 184 00:09:40,788 --> 00:09:43,708 Ah, you are so full of it! 185 00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,459 God's grace, that is. 186 00:09:45,543 --> 00:09:47,545 It's really sickening... 187 00:09:47,628 --> 00:09:49,213 there aren't more people like you. 188 00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,132 Now get out... 189 00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:53,718 {\an8}your pen and we'll make it official. 190 00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:55,803 Oh, bless you, sir! 191 00:09:59,515 --> 00:10:03,644 (grunts) Geppetto's workshop will make a great stable for the Nativity scene. 192 00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:05,855 (grunting) 193 00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:07,773 You're doing that the sucker way. 194 00:10:07,857 --> 00:10:10,610 Try a little vitamin "G"! 195 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,612 (humming) 196 00:10:13,738 --> 00:10:15,615 (gasps) Are you nuts? 197 00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:19,243 Relax. It's a controlled burn. Uh-oh. 198 00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,038 (lamb bleating) 199 00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:24,415 (grunting) 200 00:10:25,374 --> 00:10:26,417 Huh? 201 00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,629 Darn teenagers with their beer bottles. 202 00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:32,256 Uh, yeah. Teenagers. Huh! 203 00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,717 (sighs) 204 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:36,594 Ned, I'm worried about you. 205 00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:39,513 You've been working nonstop for the past week. 206 00:10:39,597 --> 00:10:41,223 Well, it's been a tad harder than I thought. 207 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:45,478 But I'm not complaining, 'cause I work for a sweet, sweet boss. 208 00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,438 You're our foreman, Maude. 209 00:10:47,521 --> 00:10:51,567 She's still bossing you around from beyond the grave? Can they do that? 210 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:55,363 No, I don't mind, but my greenback stack's gettin' kind of slack. 211 00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:57,948 How about asking the community for donations? 212 00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:01,160 (chuckles) I'm not very good at begging people for stuff. 213 00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:04,872 I am. I'd be glad to spearhead the entire begging initiative. 214 00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:07,375 -Oh, thanks, Homer. -No problem. 215 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:09,377 I'll need a sack and something sharp. 216 00:11:10,795 --> 00:11:13,673 Well, I guess I could donate these costumes. 217 00:11:13,756 --> 00:11:16,175 They're from my Last Supper pie-throwing sketch. 218 00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:17,885 (Wiggum grunts) 219 00:11:17,968 --> 00:11:20,763 You can have these, uh, fireworks I confiscated. 220 00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:24,642 Some Chinese people claimed they were celebrating New Year's in February. 221 00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:28,479 (laughs) Oh, yeah. Those guys and their crazy scams. 222 00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:31,023 (both laugh) 223 00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:33,234 Good food, though. 224 00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:38,614 This sawdust'll soak up the puke from the roller coaster. 225 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,741 That's Willie's special blend. 226 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,118 (sniffing) 227 00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:45,329 {\an8}Do I detect a hint of cinnamon? 228 00:11:45,413 --> 00:11:47,331 {\an8}Oh, I'll never tell. 229 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:50,543 Praiseland amusement park has its grand opening today. 230 00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:54,213 We now go live to its founder, Mr. Nedward Flanders. 231 00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:57,591 Oh, morning, Kent. Our volunteers have done an amazing job 232 00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:59,176 -getting the park ready here. -(chuckles) 233 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,846 We're gonna show Springfield that faith and devotion 234 00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:05,266 -are the wildest thrill rides of all. -(babbles, gasps) 235 00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:08,436 All right. I hear the mayor's arriving for the ribbon cutting. 236 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,273 It is with great pride that I dedicate 237 00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:14,358 this new school, sports arena or attraction. 238 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,364 {\an8}(crowd cheering) 239 00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:30,916 Well, Maude, your dream has finally come true. 240 00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,961 (children shouting, laughing) 241 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:40,176 Halt! Who dares to disturb King David? 242 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:44,221 Silence! You have invaded the chamber 243 00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:48,267 where I wrote all of my 150 psalms. 244 00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:51,812 -(all gasp) -I hope you enjoy hearing them all. 245 00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,316 Number one. "Blessed is the man 246 00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:58,986 who does not walk in the council of the wicked." 247 00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:02,072 {\an8}What do you hit 'em with? 248 00:13:02,156 --> 00:13:05,785 -There's no mallet. -You can stop Satan with your faith. 249 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,828 My face? You callin' me ugly? 250 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:09,789 No, no, no, no. I think you're beautiful. 251 00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:13,083 -Oh, that's it! -(shrieks) 252 00:13:13,167 --> 00:13:15,836 Ooh, what can I get you, little Christian? 253 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,464 How about a Noah's Ark of jellies? 254 00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:20,549 Oh, are there two of every flavor? 255 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,969 -Nope. They're all the same-- plain. -Oh. 256 00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,263 How about a Maude mask? 257 00:13:26,597 --> 00:13:29,433 (as Maude) I'm Maude. God is super! 258 00:13:29,517 --> 00:13:30,935 {\an8}Can I sit in the car? 259 00:13:31,018 --> 00:13:33,938 {\an8}-Let's both sit in the car. -Bye-bye. 260 00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:37,775 A Bible park without beer? (scoffs) Now I've seen everything! 261 00:13:37,858 --> 00:13:39,902 And this candy is sub-par. 262 00:13:39,985 --> 00:13:43,948 Any religion that embraces carob is, uh, not for Carl Carlson. 263 00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:47,827 Oh! Hey, get out of the way, pal. You're blocking the exit. 264 00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,412 {\an8}Oh, you want me to stamp your hand so you can get back in? 265 00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,497 {\an8}Don't you dare! 266 00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,708 -Bye, everybody! -What a rip-off! 267 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,335 It ain't even worth torching. 268 00:13:56,418 --> 00:13:58,504 Whoa! Where's everyone going? What's wrong? 269 00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:01,173 This place is the height of tedium. 270 00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,133 Yar! She blows! 271 00:14:03,217 --> 00:14:05,052 (gasps) 272 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,764 (sighs) 273 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,767 Oh, Maude, I turned your dream of a Christian amusement park 274 00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,103 into a bemusement park. 275 00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:17,022 -(gasps) Don't say that, Ned! -It is! 276 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,732 It's a bemusement park! 277 00:14:22,319 --> 00:14:25,865 I'm sorry, sweetheart. Oh, please, don't look at me like that! 278 00:14:31,412 --> 00:14:32,371 (gasps) 279 00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:38,043 -(all gasp) -It's a miracle! 280 00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:42,631 -(all exclaiming) -It's almost like she's alive again. 281 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,258 What's that, floating mask? 282 00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:46,385 Y-You want me to shoot everyone? 283 00:14:46,468 --> 00:14:47,386 (all exclaiming) 284 00:14:47,469 --> 00:14:50,264 Nah, I'm just screwin' with ya. It's a miracle. 285 00:14:50,347 --> 00:14:51,515 ALL: Oh! 286 00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:03,235 -(all exclaiming) -This is fantastic. 287 00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:07,364 I've never been so close to rubbing my eyes in disbelief. 288 00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:10,534 Oh, what the heck! Huh? Huh? 289 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:14,622 I think it's a sign from God that we should all go nuts! Whoa-hoa! 290 00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:16,332 -What the- -(grunting) 291 00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:18,709 Ah! What is wrong with you? 292 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,794 -Go get that! -Yes, ma'am. 293 00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:28,844 Well, looks like our phenomenon is actually a phenome-not! 294 00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,972 (chuckles) Because when you look at it rationally-- 295 00:15:32,056 --> 00:15:35,392 (gibberish) Hakala makta towhoo abowhoo. 296 00:15:35,476 --> 00:15:36,518 Hakala makta towhoo abowhoo. 297 00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:39,855 -(all exclaiming) -He's speaking in tongues! 298 00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:44,151 Oh, knock it off, Seymour! Go find that boy with my purse! 299 00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:48,989 -Oh! It was incredible! I saw heaven! --(all gasp) 300 00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,408 But it wasn't clouds and angels playing harps 301 00:15:51,492 --> 00:15:54,119 like at the end of so many Three Stooges shorts. 302 00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,205 It was a golden elementary school 303 00:15:56,288 --> 00:15:59,500 with a teacher's lounge that stretched as far as the eye could see. 304 00:15:59,583 --> 00:16:02,252 -And no one was ever tardy. -Was I there? 305 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:06,507 No! It was heaven, my vision of heaven. 306 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:07,925 (crowd murmuring) 307 00:16:08,008 --> 00:16:11,428 Oh, truly this was the will of Maude. 308 00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,806 Hey, I want the Maude statue to give me a vision! 309 00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:14,890 CROWD: Yeah! 310 00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,475 WIGGUM: Yeah! I want to hallucinate, too! 311 00:16:17,267 --> 00:16:19,770 {\an8}I'm sorry. The ticket price doesn't cover 312 00:16:19,853 --> 00:16:23,148 visions, miracles or other godly hoo-ha. 313 00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:27,319 Yeah, folks. The power of Christ compels you to give Ned an extra 10 bucks. 314 00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,612 (chattering, shouting) 315 00:16:28,696 --> 00:16:31,782 Homer, no! I can't exploit a divine manifestation. 316 00:16:31,865 --> 00:16:34,034 Oh, why not? Everybody's doin' it. 317 00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:37,454 You could give the money to the orphanage. I hear they need a new wall. 318 00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:40,791 (whimpering) Three is not enough. 319 00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:44,378 (coughing, gagging) 320 00:16:44,461 --> 00:16:47,297 (chattering) 321 00:16:48,757 --> 00:16:51,677 (humming) 322 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,846 Maude, it's Disco Stu. 323 00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:57,266 Lay some heaven on me, foxy dead chick. 324 00:16:57,349 --> 00:16:59,560 Ooh! (grunting) 325 00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,312 (disco music playing) 326 00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:08,360 Ah, Disco Stu. Right this way. 327 00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:12,239 But, hey, Saint Peter, you just said, like, you was full. 328 00:17:12,322 --> 00:17:15,034 -DISCO STU: Oh, yeah! -Ah, geez. 329 00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:18,162 -(music continues) -Ah! Ooh! Ah! 330 00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:22,166 {\an8}-Whoa, Frank Sinatra! -For me, this is hell. You dig, pally? 331 00:17:22,916 --> 00:17:24,168 Ah, ah! 332 00:17:24,251 --> 00:17:26,003 {\an8}(grunting) 333 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,176 -Who's next? -That would be me. Thank you, sonny. 334 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:36,221 (grunting) 335 00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:41,393 (alarm blaring) 336 00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:47,441 My chair! It's... got a mind of its own! 337 00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:51,820 -Help me, Mr. Spock! -Shazbot! My captain is in peril. 338 00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:53,947 (shouting) 339 00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:59,495 You saved the captain's life. I want to make out with you. 340 00:17:59,578 --> 00:18:01,789 And so do Catwoman and Agent 99. 341 00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:03,582 -(purrs) -(kisses) 342 00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:04,666 Oh! 343 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,545 How come everybody's having visions, Daddy? 344 00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:11,256 Oh, there's no explaining God's will, Roddy. 345 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:14,259 That's like explaining how an airplane flies. 346 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:19,056 Stupid grill! Why won't you light? The gas is on full blast. 347 00:18:19,139 --> 00:18:21,558 You better stick your head in and see what's goin' on. 348 00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:22,684 Good idea. 349 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:26,146 No, Dad! I think there's a leak in the line! 350 00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,482 Leak in the line? 351 00:18:31,026 --> 00:18:32,986 (hissing) 352 00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:38,075 (gibberish) 353 00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:42,704 Oh, no! This isn't a divine miracle. 354 00:18:42,788 --> 00:18:45,082 Everyone's just gettin' goofy from the gas. 355 00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:48,418 (gibberish) 356 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:52,297 Uh-Uh, folks, I just discovered, 357 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:56,552 eh, something about this statue that, uh, may disappoint you. 358 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:57,636 You see- 359 00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:02,891 What is it, Mr. Flanders? 360 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:05,477 Is something wrong with the miracle? 361 00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:10,190 Will there still be money for the orphans? (wheezing) 362 00:19:10,274 --> 00:19:12,985 (coughing) 363 00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:17,072 Hello, gas company? How poisonous is your gas? 364 00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,658 Wow. Bu-- Eh-- But I'm talking about, 365 00:19:19,741 --> 00:19:22,035 you know, outdoors with plenty of ventilation. 366 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:24,454 That-- How could that be worse? 367 00:19:25,205 --> 00:19:28,333 OK, permanent brain damage or just temporary? 368 00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:29,418 I see. 369 00:19:30,294 --> 00:19:33,463 I gotta close Praiseland down. Someone could get hurt. 370 00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:35,549 (sighs) 371 00:19:35,632 --> 00:19:39,845 "Could" get hurt. "Could." There's a chance they won't. 372 00:19:39,928 --> 00:19:42,848 Ned, Praiseland has touched an entire town... 373 00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:47,186 with its inspiring message and toxic super freak-outs! 374 00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:51,773 Look at those smiling faces. Rich laughing with poor. 375 00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:54,693 Bullies breaking bread with nerds. 376 00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:58,071 {\an8}Orphans lighting candles over a leaking gas line. 377 00:19:58,155 --> 00:19:59,198 Lighting candles? 378 00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:02,201 -(gasping) -(groaning) 379 00:20:03,744 --> 00:20:05,037 TOGETHER: No-o-o! 380 00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:07,372 (scream, groan) 381 00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:10,626 I can't feel my legs. 382 00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:12,419 I taste blood. 383 00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:14,296 (Ned and Homer sigh) 384 00:20:14,379 --> 00:20:16,924 -(all gasp) -Adults attacking orphans? 385 00:20:17,007 --> 00:20:19,676 I don't think Maude Flanders would approve of that. 386 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,136 Absolutely not! 387 00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:23,263 -Never! -No friggin' way! 388 00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:26,141 Yeah. This place is more like "Crazeland." 389 00:20:26,225 --> 00:20:28,560 -CROWD: Huh? -Instead of "Praiseland." 390 00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:29,728 -CROWD: Oh! -I see. 391 00:20:29,811 --> 00:20:31,230 It's a play on words. 392 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:42,908 May the Lord have mercy on your gas-sniffin', orphan-beatin' soul! 393 00:20:42,991 --> 00:20:45,410 -Christ be with you! -(horn honking) 394 00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:46,620 Hey, Ned! 395 00:20:46,703 --> 00:20:49,665 I just read about your park in that horrible AAA magazine. 396 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:54,169 Ooh, Ned, look who's here. It's that girl you don't like. 397 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:57,422 Not! (laughing) 398 00:20:57,506 --> 00:20:59,758 Hey, your hair's grown back real nice. 399 00:20:59,841 --> 00:21:03,845 It's a wig. And let's never speak of it again. 400 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:04,972 So what happened here? 401 00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:08,058 How about I explain it to you over a cup of coffee? 402 00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:10,477 That is if you're willing to give me another shot. 403 00:21:20,862 --> 00:21:23,490 Are you sure you want to do this, Ned? 404 00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:25,284 I'm sure. 405 00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:33,875 -So how about a movie tomorrow night? -Sounds great. 406 00:21:35,168 --> 00:21:38,422 I think Ned is gonna be all right. 407 00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:46,221 (disco music playing) 408 00:21:47,806 --> 00:21:50,934 ♪ Get dancin', dancin', dance ♪ 409 00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:53,353 ♪ Dance ♪ 410 00:21:54,771 --> 00:21:55,689 ♪ Get dancin', dancin', dance ♪ 411 00:21:55,772 --> 00:21:56,815 MAN: Keep movin'. 412 00:21:57,441 --> 00:21:59,526 ♪ Here come DJ Disco Tex ♪ 413 00:21:59,609 --> 00:22:01,653 ♪ Truckin' with his Sex-O-Lettes ♪ 414 00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:04,740 ♪ Get dancin', dancin', dance ♪ 415 00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:06,408 ♪ Guaranteed to rock the boat ♪ 416 00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:08,452 ♪ Machine-gun rap and locomote ♪ 417 00:22:08,535 --> 00:22:11,038 ♪ Get dancin', dancin', dance ♪ 418 00:22:11,121 --> 00:22:13,248 MAN: Come on, baby. Come out there and dance to your song. 419 00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:14,458 Turn yourself on. 420 00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:17,127 (speaking Spanish) 421 00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:19,713 Over Hollywood-- America needs you! 422 00:22:19,796 --> 00:22:21,298 We need you to go dance! 423 00:22:21,381 --> 00:22:23,842 We need you to get together and boogie-woogie- woogie-boogie! 424 00:22:23,925 --> 00:22:25,260 -(murmuring) -Shh! 425 00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:28,305 (orphan girl coughing, wheezing) 426 00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:30,849 Captioned by Visual Data Media Services