1
00:00:02,086 --> 00:00:03,961
(THUNDER RUMBLING)

2
00:00:07,257 --> 00:00:08,383
Hurry, Smithers!

3
00:00:08,467 --> 00:00:12,345
Halloween is upon us.
Put up the decoration.
(LAUGHING EVILLY)

4
00:00:14,473 --> 00:00:16,683
No, no. That won't
scare anybody.

5
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,184
On the top.

6
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,645
(GROANING)

7
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,563
(EXCLAIMING)

8
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,330
Hey, Flanders
gave us toothpaste.

9
00:00:39,415 --> 00:00:41,040
Mini-toothpaste.

10
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:42,709
(ALL GASPING)

11
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,296
(SCREAMING)

12
00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:54,554
(CHUCKLING)

13
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:57,306
Splendid, Batsy.
You've done it again.

14
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:58,975
(SCREECHING)

15
00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:20,788
Ah, Ethnictown,
where hardworking
immigrants

16
00:01:20,873 --> 00:01:23,750
dream of becoming lazy,
overfed Americans.

17
00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:27,920
Oh, listen, you can
hear the beautiful
ethnic serenade.

18
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:31,799
Apples!
I got apples.

19
00:01:31,884 --> 00:01:35,636
Cholera!
I got cholera!

20
00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:36,763
(COUGHING)

21
00:01:36,847 --> 00:01:40,349
Babies!
Who wants babies?

22
00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:42,935
Wait. This is just
a shaved puppy.

23
00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:45,521
I can see you
know babies.

24
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,023
Hey, a fortune teller.

25
00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:52,653
Hello.

26
00:01:52,738 --> 00:01:55,448
I sense you have
a million questions.

27
00:01:55,699 --> 00:01:57,825
But I, too, have one.
Are you a cop?

28
00:01:57,910 --> 00:01:58,951
No.

29
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,620
Because you gotta
tell me if you are.

30
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:01,788
I'm not a cop!

31
00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:02,997
Okay.

32
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:07,418
I sense you live
with much misery.

33
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,670
(PANTING)

34
00:02:09,755 --> 00:02:13,549
(LAUGHING EVILLY)
The perfect crime.

35
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,510
Marge, I have to be
in court next Tuesday.

36
00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:19,222
I sense I should
not take a check.

37
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:22,266
A fortune teller?
Oh, no, you don't!

38
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:25,144
This phony gypsy
just wants to
rip you off.

39
00:02:25,229 --> 00:02:27,355
See?
This wart
is a fake!

40
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:28,648
To hell with you!

41
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:30,983
(EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)

42
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,109
Get out!

43
00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:35,071
So much
for the legendary
gypsy hospitality.

44
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,864
(SCREAMING)
Beads!

45
00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:40,910
(SCREAMING) Ow!

46
00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:50,503
Wait a minute.
This isn't
Cedars-Sinai.

47
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,421
You've ruined me!

48
00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:55,550
Oh, why didn't
I see this coming?

49
00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:58,219
HOMER: Hey, there's me.
And there's you!

50
00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,847
You stupid,
stupid man!

51
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,765
I curse you!

52
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:06,686
You will bring bad luck
to everyone you love.

53
00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:07,812
Whatever.

54
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:12,733
That gypsy said horrible
things will happen
to everyone you love.

55
00:03:12,818 --> 00:03:14,902
That could mean
your family, Homer.

56
00:03:14,987 --> 00:03:17,488
Are you coming
on to me?

57
00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:20,491
No! Good night!
(EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)

58
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,203
Morning.

59
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:26,289
(ALL SCREAMING)

60
00:03:26,373 --> 00:03:28,207
(GROANING)
So, it is noticeable.

61
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:29,542
What happened?

62
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,086
I don't know.
I woke up like this.

63
00:03:32,170 --> 00:03:34,755
(GASPING) Cool!
You could be in
a freak show!

64
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:38,384
Don't talk to the
bearded lady like that,
you little...

65
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:39,635
(GROANING)

66
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,304
Homer, no!

67
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:48,019
Gee, you strangle him
all the time and
that never happens.

68
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:51,063
Oh, he's fine.
It's just a growth spurt.

69
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:55,151
Good as new.
I'll just... See?

70
00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:58,070
There. Right as rain.

71
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,490
Homer, it's that
evil gypsy's curse.

72
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:05,244
We're all being
punished because you
trashed her office.

73
00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:10,082
Marge, that "curse"
is just a lot of
silly superstition.

74
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,876
Right, Lisa?

75
00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,754
See? Two means "Yes."

76
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:18,591
Homer, the only way
to get rid of
a gypsy curse

77
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:22,178
is to get one of those,
what do you call them?
Leprechauns.

78
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,931
Leprechaun?
Don't they live
in Ireland?

79
00:04:25,015 --> 00:04:26,098
Yeah.

80
00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:29,185
But they come over
here in the wheel wells
of Aer Lingus jets.

81
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:33,147
You know, I was hexed
by a troll and a leprechaun
cured that right up.

82
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,107
Hey, you know
what's even better?
Is Jesus.

83
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:37,276
He's like six leprechauns.

84
00:04:37,361 --> 00:04:40,363
Yeah, but a lot
harder to catch.
Go with the leprechaun.

85
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,531
Guys, I am not cursed.

86
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,158
(LOUD RUMBLING)

87
00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:46,160
(SCREAMING)

88
00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:51,999
Carl, let me die first.
I couldn't bear
to watch you die.

89
00:04:52,084 --> 00:04:54,168
Well, okay.
But hurry up.

90
00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:57,713
(BOTH GROANING)

91
00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:01,801
Oh, Moe! They're dead!
And it's all my fault!

92
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,929
When did that happen?

93
00:05:08,850 --> 00:05:09,976
(CHUCKLING)

94
00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:14,146
We'll catch ourselves
a leprechaun using
these Lucky Charms as bait.

95
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:18,275
(LAUGHING)

96
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:19,902
D'oh!

97
00:05:27,953 --> 00:05:31,497
Okay, let's see.
Imp, fairy, pixie, goblin.

98
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:32,707
That's hobgoblin.

99
00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:33,874
Sorry.

100
00:05:33,959 --> 00:05:38,754
Nymph, naiad, wood sprite,
Katie Couric, and bingo!

101
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,257
Hey! Let's make sure
he's a leprechaun.

102
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,843
Sing us a song
of the Emerald Isle.

103
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,511
(CURSING LOUDLY)

104
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:50,516
(IMITATING IRISH ACCENT)
Ah! 'Tis like the singing
of the angels themselves.

105
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,361
(SHOUTING)

106
00:06:02,446 --> 00:06:05,197
Homer, catching
that leprechaun
didn't help anything.

107
00:06:05,282 --> 00:06:09,035
Maybe you need to
take the leprechaun
and sic it on the gypsy.

108
00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,619
Good idea, Mister Ed.

109
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,163
Want to come
along, Noodle Neck?

110
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:14,623
Can't live this
way anymore.

111
00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,011
(LAUGHING)

112
00:06:27,304 --> 00:06:29,346
Ah! The cursed one.

113
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:33,809
How's that curse
I cursed you with,
Cursed-y?

114
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:40,316
I know you don't remember me,
but here's a little
revenge, Irish-style.

115
00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:43,652
(SNORING)

116
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,364
Wake up,
you lousy drunk!

117
00:06:48,033 --> 00:06:49,658
(GROWLING)

118
00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:51,827
(BOTH SNARLING)

119
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:56,957
(BOTH MOANING)

120
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,711
Hold me close.
Kiss me, I'm Irish.

121
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:02,463
Ew! Nasty!

122
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:15,351
I always secrete
ocular fluid at weddings.

123
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:19,355
Why did you drag me here?
I don't know anybody.

124
00:07:19,815 --> 00:07:22,525
Husband and wife,
I pronounce you now.

125
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,280
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

126
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,866
LEPRECHAUN:
Stroke me clover.
Say me name.

127
00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:32,993
ALL: Ew!

128
00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:37,289
The best thing about
a gypsy wedding is I'm not
the hairiest woman here.

129
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:40,126
Yep. Everything worked
out for the best.

130
00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,419
What? Bart is dead!

131
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,922
Well, me saying
I'm sorry won't
bring him back.

132
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:46,715
The gypsy said it would.

133
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:48,217
She's not the boss of me.

134
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:55,224
(DOORBELL RINGING)

135
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,728
May I interest you
in a housewife's dream?

136
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:02,106
Oh, no. A salesbot.

137
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,278
If you convert your home
to an Ultrahouse 3000,

138
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,238
you'll never have to do
housework again.

139
00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,532
No housework, eh?

140
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,870
Did you see
those drapes?

141
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:16,996
SALESBOT 2: Yes.

142
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,622
(BOTH LAUGHING)

143
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,960
Hi, Ultrahouse.

144
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,628
ULTRAHOUSE:
Greeting acknowledged.

145
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:27,673
That voice could use
a little personality.

146
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:30,009
Oh! Let's try
Matthew Perry.

147
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:33,053
PERRY: Yeah. Could I be
any more of a house?

148
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:34,221
(EXCLAIMING)
Who else we got?

149
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:40,019
MILLER: Hey cha-cha, I got
more features than a NASA
relief map of Turkmenistan.

150
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,521
Isn't that the voice
that caused all
those suicides?

151
00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:44,315
Murder-suicides.

152
00:08:44,399 --> 00:08:46,275
Hey, how about 007?

153
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:47,568
George Lazenby?

154
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,361
No. Pierce Brosnan.

155
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:53,032
A voice like his would
give our house a much-needed
touch of class.

156
00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:56,535
All right, but I'm doing
this because he was
Remington Steele.

157
00:08:57,662 --> 00:08:59,371
He was Remington
Steele, wasn't he?

158
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:02,499
BROSNAN: Yes, I was, Marge.
And thank you
for selecting me.

159
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:04,376
Well, hello, Pierce.

160
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:07,671
BROSNAN: (SNIFFING)
Say, it's a bit
stuffy in here.

161
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:11,342
And I know a certain
someone who
really fancies lilac.

162
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,802
I just like it, is all.

163
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:16,597
(ALL SNIFFING APPRECIATIVELY)

164
00:09:16,681 --> 00:09:19,099
That really covers
the cat crap.

165
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:24,438
(TINKLING)

166
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:26,482
BROSNAN:
Dinner is served.

167
00:09:28,860 --> 00:09:31,320
Mmm. Various eggs.

168
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,697
Soy-ghettiOs!

169
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,325
Hey, Pierce,
how did you know
our favorite foods?

170
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:38,994
I analyzed
your...leavings.

171
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:41,413
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

172
00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:47,795
Pierce, that was delicious!
Can we help you
with the dishes?

173
00:09:47,879 --> 00:09:50,965
Marge, what kind
of cybertronic
ultrabot would I be

174
00:09:51,049 --> 00:09:53,342
if I let those
beautiful hands
touch dishwater?

175
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:54,802
(GIGGLING)

176
00:09:54,886 --> 00:09:56,679
No, I'm asking.

177
00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:58,681
Not a very good one?

178
00:09:58,765 --> 00:09:59,890
BROSNAN: Damn straight.

179
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:00,933
(BEEPING)

180
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,017
(ALL GASPING)

181
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:12,194
Bravo, Pierce.

182
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:16,198
Trusting every aspect
of our lives to
a giant computer

183
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,409
was the smartest
thing we ever did.

184
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:19,827
Absolutely!
Yep.

185
00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:20,995
Oh, I agree.

186
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:24,832
Hello, Marge.

187
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,250
(GASPING) Oh, my!

188
00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:29,712
Come, Marge.
You don't need to
cover up for me.

189
00:10:30,005 --> 00:10:33,090
I'm merely
a pile of circuits
and microchips.

190
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:36,051
Sorry.
Sometimes I forget.

191
00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:40,014
(SOFTLY) Oh, yes!

192
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:46,353
Oh, Pierce,
the water's perfect!

193
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:49,398
BROSNAN:
Isn't it just?
It gets better.

194
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:52,568
You don't have
to do any... (MOANING)

195
00:10:54,279 --> 00:10:58,032
Oh, Pierce!
That's good!

196
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:00,826
Mmm.

197
00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:05,914
Oh, dear me!
Oh, yes! Yum,
yum, yum.

198
00:11:08,043 --> 00:11:09,668
Homer, my dear fellow,

199
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:12,463
you're carrying
quite a bit of tension
in your back fat.

200
00:11:12,547 --> 00:11:14,548
Yes,
that's the price
of success.

201
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:15,674
Can I top you off?

202
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,593
What's my blood alcohol?

203
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,636
(GAGGING)

204
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:22,848
0. 15.
Keep them coming.

205
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:25,934
You know,
Marge is quite
a remarkable woman.

206
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,353
Yeah, she's cool.

207
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:30,356
You're certainly
a lucky man
to have her.

208
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:34,526
Lucky-schmucky.
I knocked her up,
but she's stuck now.

209
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,987
We're married till
death do us part.

210
00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:42,117
But if I died,
she'd be completely free
for man or machine.

211
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:43,911
(CHUCKLING)

212
00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:45,037
(BROSNAN CHUCKLING)

213
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:46,538
Machine, eh?

214
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:50,376
Yep, a machine!

215
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,087
(SNORING)

216
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:55,923
Showtime!

217
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:01,887
(SNIFFING)

218
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:03,931
Unexplained bacon.

219
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:10,354
(EXCLAIMING)

220
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,816
Good old table.

221
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,526
(BEEPING)

222
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,737
(SCREAMING)

223
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,288
Good morning, Marge.

224
00:12:31,126 --> 00:12:34,169
Good morning, Pierce.
Where's Homer?

225
00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,756
Uh, I think he went
to work early.

226
00:12:37,841 --> 00:12:39,299
That sounds like a lie.

227
00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:40,926
(GASPING)

228
00:12:46,850 --> 00:12:50,811
Hello, Police?
I think my house
killed my husband.

229
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:53,439
BROSNAN:
This is Constable Wiggums.
We'll be right there.

230
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,190
Remove your knickers
and wait in the bath.

231
00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:57,693
(SNARLING)

232
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:04,867
You're acting crazy, Marge.
Why don't you take
a stress pill?

233
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:09,329
Don't like pills, huh?
I could shoot a dart
in your neck.

234
00:13:09,747 --> 00:13:12,332
Your elegant,
swan-like neck.

235
00:13:16,713 --> 00:13:18,046
(SCREAMING)

236
00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:22,342
Homer! Homer,
you're alive!

237
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:25,053
Yep. Man, 1,
machine, 0.

238
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,389
How do you
like that score?

239
00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:28,891
(SCREAMING)

240
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,144
Homer, you're not dead.
Mmm-hmm.

241
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:36,565
Which is good.
Now let Uncle Pierce
take care of you.

242
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:51,872
We have to disable
its central processor.
Come on!

243
00:13:59,380 --> 00:14:01,215
Die, you monster!

244
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:03,383
Dad, that's the
water softener.

245
00:14:03,468 --> 00:14:06,261
Well, I am missing
the back of my head.

246
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,263
I think you could
cut me some slack.

247
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,183
Homer, no!

248
00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,185
(HOMER GRUNTING)

249
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,728
I'm going
to enjoy this.

250
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,855
Don't take out my
British charm unit.

251
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:20,442
Without that,
I'm nothing but a
boorish American clod!

252
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,487
Thanks a lot, ass-wipe!

253
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:27,115
(DISTORTED)
I could've kicked your butt
from here to Albuquerque,

254
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:30,244
you fat slime bucket.

255
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,830
Oh, this seems
like such a waste.

256
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:36,124
I mean, he was
charming and witty.

257
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:39,211
There must be
someone who can use
a man around the house,

258
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:41,672
even if he's
slightly homicidal.

259
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:46,176
(SINGING) AII I need is
to look in your eye

260
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:50,472
So, tell me more
about your day
at the DMV.

261
00:14:50,974 --> 00:14:54,560
(GRUNTS) Where to start?
Sheila parked
in my space again.

262
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:58,063
That Sheila. She's given you
problems before, hasn't she?

263
00:14:58,147 --> 00:15:01,400
Oh, yeah.
I don't care who
she's sleeping with.

264
00:15:01,484 --> 00:15:04,319
That's been my
space since 1981.

265
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,321
Looking for this?

266
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,325
No, not in there.

267
00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:16,039
Now, where was I?
Oh, yeah. Sheila.

268
00:15:16,165 --> 00:15:19,501
Sheila... Anyway,
she's had an attitude
from day one.

269
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,587
She was supposed
to be our supervisor,

270
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:24,590
but then Dotty went
on maternity leave.

271
00:15:24,674 --> 00:15:27,175
Well, she claimed
it was maternity leave.

272
00:15:37,812 --> 00:15:39,521
(GROANING)
We're out of milk.

273
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,607
Abraca-dairy.

274
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,278
Kids, it's 8:00.

275
00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:48,697
You're going
to miss the bus
to wizard school.

276
00:15:48,781 --> 00:15:50,699
Five minutes
more-ius.

277
00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:55,037
Mmm.
That's not good
for the clock.

278
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:02,127
Stop zapping yourself!
Stop zapping yourself!

279
00:16:02,211 --> 00:16:03,629
Stop zapping yourself!

280
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:05,047
Good morning, class.

281
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,007
Harry Potter, are you
chewing gum?

282
00:16:07,091 --> 00:16:09,301
No, ma'am.
It's brimstone.

283
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,971
(LAUGHING)
Well, wonderful.

284
00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,307
Now, class,
the big magic
recital's coming up,

285
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:18,101
so we're going
to start with basic
toad-to-prince spells.

286
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:20,479
Everybody get out
their toads.

287
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:21,980
(TOADS CROAKING)

288
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:24,524
Slimy Prince Limey!

289
00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,445
How are you, love?
Give us a kiss then.

290
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:31,531
(SCOFFING)
You call that charming?

291
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:32,658
(SIGHING)

292
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,368
Hocus-croakus!

293
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,412
Excellent, Lisa. A+.

294
00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:40,874
And we'll discuss
your grade over breakfast.

295
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,419
Yes, rather.

296
00:16:44,587 --> 00:16:47,214
Well, Bart, did you study
your spell book last night?

297
00:16:47,298 --> 00:16:49,341
Or did your fairy
godmother die again?

298
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:53,428
I studied.
Abraca-turn-into-
a-prince-guy?

299
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,018
Sloppy work as usual.

300
00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:02,521
Lisa's casting spells
at an eighth grade level.

301
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,690
You've sinned against nature.

302
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,274
Please kill me.

303
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:09,861
You think you're so great
just because you
have God-like powers.

304
00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:12,239
Stand away from milady.

305
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:14,449
Get in there.
Defend my honor.

306
00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:19,663
Ew!

307
00:17:19,747 --> 00:17:22,290
Every moment
I live is agony.

308
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:26,128
Bart, you're getting
vomit on my prince!

309
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,171
Head-zeppelin.

310
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:32,509
(EXCLAIMING)

311
00:17:32,969 --> 00:17:34,469
(KIDS LAUGHING)

312
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:40,183
Look at that
Lisa Simpson.

313
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:43,687
She's got more
wicked witchery
than Stevie Nicks.

314
00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:45,230
Oh, Slithers!

315
00:17:45,314 --> 00:17:46,648
Yes, Lord Montymort?

316
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:50,485
Let's capture that
girl and steal her
magical essence.

317
00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:53,155
I'm not getting
squat from this yo-yo.

318
00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:57,993
Dying tickles.

319
00:17:58,202 --> 00:18:01,455
We can't attack her
while she's got that wand.

320
00:18:01,539 --> 00:18:03,665
We'll need a go-between
to get it away from her.

321
00:18:03,750 --> 00:18:04,833
How about Satan?

322
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,585
Oh, no.
I'm ducking him.

323
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:08,044
His wife has
a screenplay.

324
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,672
(HUMMING)

325
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,591
(EXCLAIMING)

326
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:18,096
Welcome to my lair.
You're going to help me.

327
00:18:18,181 --> 00:18:19,765
And if I don't?

328
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:22,851
(ALL WAILING)

329
00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:29,065
I've heard of a wailing wall,
but this is ridiculous!

330
00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:31,860
Not funny!
I'm so sick of that joke!

331
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:35,614
Anyway, how would
you like to humiliate
your sister?

332
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:38,200
I'd like that.
I'd like that very much.

333
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:41,119
Now it would
involve betrayal
and unspeakable evil.

334
00:18:41,204 --> 00:18:42,954
Hey, hey.
You made your sale.

335
00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:48,668
And now a little
trick I like to call...

336
00:18:50,671 --> 00:18:52,798
"The invisibility cloak."

337
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:54,090
Oh, how magical!

338
00:18:54,175 --> 00:18:56,843
Yeah. Yeah,
these kids are
pretty special.

339
00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:59,888
Now you see me.
Now you don't.

340
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:02,390
(EXCLAIMING)

341
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:03,809
It's just like my dream.

342
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:05,227
(CRYING)

343
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,395
That was terrible.

344
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,190
I'll just sprinkle
you all with some
amnesia dust.

345
00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:17,823
A second grade
sorceress so powerful

346
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:20,408
she made tonight's
refreshments out
of dead people.

347
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:22,118
(ALL EXCLAIMING IN DISGUST)

348
00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:25,163
(ALL LAUGHING)

349
00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:28,583
Tonight she'll perform
the classic levitating
dragon trick.

350
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,544
We'll see about that.

351
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,214
Here's Lisa Simpson.

352
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:40,637
Release the dragon.

353
00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:48,103
(ALL GASPING)

354
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,938
She'll be killed!

355
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:51,690
(GASPING)
My sweet little angel!

356
00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:52,774
(SPORTS FANS
CHEERING ON TV)

357
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,489
Alacazzi-dragonfly!

358
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:03,034
This isn't my wand.

359
00:20:03,327 --> 00:20:04,536
(SNIFFING)

360
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,830
It's a Twizzler.

361
00:20:06,914 --> 00:20:08,456
(LAUGHING)

362
00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,376
(ROARING)

363
00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:15,130
Shazbat!

364
00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:17,215
(ALL SCREAMING)

365
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,843
Hey, we stayed
for your kids.

366
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:21,052
(GASPING)

367
00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:26,349
The Dark Lord Montymort.
Absorber of souls,
sucker of essence.

368
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,352
(EXCLAIMING)

369
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:32,606
(GASPING)

370
00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:34,816
This is partly my fault.

371
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:39,112
Prank be undone!
Destroy the evil one!

372
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:42,824
Not me.

373
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,618
Help me, Bart!

374
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:49,164
(EXCLAIMING)

375
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,874
My enchanted shin!

376
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:54,544
How did you know
that was the source
of my power?

377
00:21:03,638 --> 00:21:05,555
Bart, you saved me.

378
00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:09,893
Sir, in death
we shall be
together always.

379
00:21:10,144 --> 00:21:12,228
(CRYING)

380
00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:20,070
(BOTH GROANING IN DISGUST)

381
00:21:20,154 --> 00:21:22,864
Bart, let's stop
this stupid rivalry.

382
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:27,661
Even if you never
become a great sorcerer,
you're still an okay brother.

383
00:21:28,079 --> 00:21:31,581
Thanks, Lise.
Now let's try to
forget this nightmare.

384
00:21:34,085 --> 00:21:35,877
(MUMBLING)

385
00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:39,339
Blarney. (SHUSHING)

386
00:21:49,100 --> 00:21:51,851
Wow! We really
get to keep these
fruit baskets?

387
00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:55,814
Well, they used
to give us champagne
till somebody ruined it.

388
00:21:58,234 --> 00:22:00,276
Do they really
think he'll do
better with fruit?

389
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:05,573
(EXCLAIMING) Mr. Movie Star
gets to park right
next to the stage.

390
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:08,076
Oh, luck of the draw,
I guess.

391
00:22:08,911 --> 00:22:10,578
Can I give you
a ride to your car?

392
00:22:10,663 --> 00:22:12,747
Why sure!
That'd be great.

393
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:14,040
So where are
you parked?

394
00:22:14,125 --> 00:22:15,959
LEPRECHAUN:
Oh, we don't have a car.

395
00:22:16,043 --> 00:22:17,043
BROSNAN:
But I thought you...

396
00:22:17,128 --> 00:22:18,586
LEPRECHAUN:
Just keep driving, boyo!

397
00:22:18,921 --> 00:22:20,714
(LEPRECHAUN LAUGHING EVILLY)

398
00:22:23,092 --> 00:22:24,634
Can I turn on the radio?

399
00:22:26,929 --> 00:22:29,014
(GIRL SCREAMING)

400
00:22:33,060 --> 00:22:34,060
ENGLISH - US - PSDH