1
00:00:03,796 --> 00:00:07,465
(SINGING) The Simpsons

2
00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,727
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

3
00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:26,234
(HORN BELLOWING)

4
00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,751
(PLAYING DIFFERENT TUNE)

5
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,589
(TIRES SCREECHING)

6
00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:01,269
(HONKING)

7
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,020
(TIRES SCREECHING)

8
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,149
D'oh!

9
00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:07,483
(SCREAMS)

10
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,568
(BRAKES SCREECHING)

11
00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:26,252
(SINGING)
Won't you marry me, Bill?

12
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:29,213
I got the wedding gown bill

13
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,258
Because weddings are nice

14
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:33,342
(GROANS)

15
00:01:33,469 --> 00:01:35,261
Let's never miss
the school bus again.

16
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:38,556
MAN ON RADIO: That was
The 5th Dimension with
Weddings are Nice.

17
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:39,724
You know what
else is nice, Marty?

18
00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:40,850
What's that, Bill?

19
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,561
The KBBL Prize Posse!

20
00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:45,354
MAN: Damn dirty ape!

21
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:49,984
(CHUCKLES) If our
Wampum Wagon spots your
KBBL Party Penguin,

22
00:01:50,068 --> 00:01:52,528
you'll win $40!
(CASH REGISTER SOUNDING)

23
00:01:53,489 --> 00:01:56,365
Did you hear that, Pengy?
$40!

24
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,993
Hey!
There's the Wampum Wagon!

25
00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,077
(GASPS)

26
00:02:01,205 --> 00:02:03,080
End of the line, boys!

27
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,709
(HONKING) Look out,
because it's zooming!

28
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:10,838
If we're late for school,
we'll miss our free
federal breakfast!

29
00:02:10,923 --> 00:02:13,466
Big deal. It's just
saltines and fig paste.

30
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:15,927
Ew! Saltines!

31
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:27,647
Hey, Cora.
I heard science
is working on a donut

32
00:02:27,731 --> 00:02:30,274
that actually
burns off calories.

33
00:02:30,359 --> 00:02:32,318
How's that going?
What?

34
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,863
Never mind.
Just refill this
with jelly, will you?

35
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:39,450
Thanks.
You're an angel.

36
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:40,535
What?

37
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:43,663
Hey, check it out.
Wiggum's cruiser.

38
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:47,834
Wow! Tear gas,
riot club, police hat.

39
00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,585
With rain baggy!

40
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:52,672
Oh, man.
That would really
keep your head dry.

41
00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:55,508
Have you ever
been in a police car?

42
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:56,676
Not in the front.

43
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:59,804
Hey, I just had
this crazy idea!

44
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:01,389
Really? What?

45
00:03:02,558 --> 00:03:06,018
What's this thing?
"Miranda Rights Teleprompter."

46
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:09,856
Check this out!

47
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,649
(OVER SPEAKER) You there!
Put your hands up!

48
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,401
Me? Okay.

49
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:15,444
Now, drop your pants.

50
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,697
Yeah, but...
But my hands are up.

51
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,282
Hula out of them.

52
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:20,783
All right, Officer.

53
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,786
(HUMMING)

54
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,414
(LAUGHING)

55
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:28,291
(GROWLING VICIOUSLY)
(SCREAMS)

56
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:31,252
What the heck is
going on out there?

57
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,964
Officer Sniffy?
Come in, Sniffy.
Do you read me?

58
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:36,424
It's me, Clancy.

59
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:37,550
(SNARLING)

60
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:38,801
No! Get away!

61
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:41,137
Uh-oh.

62
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,890
Hey, somebody's
stealing my car!
CORA: What?

63
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,308
(TIRES SCREECHING)

64
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:46,934
Look out!

65
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,520
Soup!
Soup!

66
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:54,901
(BOTH SCREAMING)

67
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:58,237
That's why
you young athletes
are so promising.

68
00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:01,324
Now, who'd like
to buy a trophy?

69
00:04:02,284 --> 00:04:03,492
(ALL EXCLAIMING)

70
00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:09,707
(GROANS)

71
00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:11,834
Finally, some recognition.

72
00:04:14,338 --> 00:04:16,964
All right.
You two are under arrest
for joyriding.

73
00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:19,342
You have
the right to remain, um...

74
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,135
Uh...

75
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:23,638
Silent?
That doesn't sound right.

76
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,976
I love our court days.

77
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:31,854
It's about
the only thing we do
as a family anymore.

78
00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:34,023
Hey, Karie.
Hey, Lisa.

79
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,569
Your Honor,
please don't send
my son to juvie.

80
00:04:38,654 --> 00:04:40,821
He's basically a good kid.
He's just weak.

81
00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:43,324
Morally and in
the upper body.

82
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,492
Hmm.

83
00:04:44,576 --> 00:04:47,203
Please let me slip
through the cracks.

84
00:04:47,579 --> 00:04:51,123
Well,
you look like a good student,
what with those glasses,

85
00:04:51,208 --> 00:04:54,877
and I suppose
boys will be boys.
Case dismissed.

86
00:04:56,421 --> 00:04:58,547
(CHUCKLES)
Good old Judge Snyder.

87
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,467
Next defendant,
Bartholomew J. Simpson.

88
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,344
Well, show time.

89
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:10,101
Why, hello, Bart.
Say, are those new shoes?

90
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:11,978
Yes, they are, Roy.

91
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,813
Judge Snyder?
While we're young?

92
00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:16,482
Oh. Sorry. Oh, my.

93
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:20,027
Looks like you
were the ringleader
in this car theft!

94
00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:21,404
And that's a felony!

95
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,738
Yes, sir.

96
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:26,993
On the other hand,
I was young once.

97
00:05:27,077 --> 00:05:28,327
(SOFTLY)
I'll bring the car around.

98
00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:30,079
And I suppose
boys will be...

99
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,499
(ALARM BEEPS)
Oops.
My vacation just started.

100
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:40,089
All rise
for the Honorable
Judge Constance Harm.

101
00:05:44,136 --> 00:05:45,136
(GASPS)

102
00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:46,387
Uh-oh.

103
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:48,389
Silence in my courtroom!

104
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:52,059
Grand theft auto?

105
00:05:52,144 --> 00:05:53,728
It was an accident, ma'am.

106
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:56,772
Don't spit on my cupcake
and tell me it's frosting.

107
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,984
What did she say
about cupcakes?

108
00:06:00,110 --> 00:06:03,696
According to this,
your father was
driving you to school?

109
00:06:03,822 --> 00:06:06,365
Then where was he
when you stole
the police car?

110
00:06:06,450 --> 00:06:10,619
Your Honor, I was
chasing the KBBL Party
Penguin Prize Patrol.

111
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:13,372
You abandoned
your son to win $40?

112
00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:17,626
And a Blue Oyster
Cult medallion. Cool.

113
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:20,171
And that was more important
than keeping your son
out of trouble?

114
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:23,758
Your Honor,
if I may sing a little bit
of Don't Fear the Reaper,

115
00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:24,967
I think
you'll agree that...

116
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,802
I'm familiar with B.O.C.

117
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:31,140
But you have got a boy here
who is crying out
for adult supervision!

118
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,808
I couldn't agree more.

119
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:36,228
Perhaps some sort
of court-appointed
babysitter or "au pair."

120
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,314
Sorry, bub.
That crow won't caw.

121
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,607
It won't?

122
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:42,276
I hereby order you
to be tethered to your son!

123
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:43,861
Tethered?
Tethered.

124
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:45,237
Report to room five.

125
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:46,405
Room five?

126
00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,662
There we go.
How's that?

127
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,748
It's a little tight.
(HEARTBEAT POUNDING)

128
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,584
Sir, you are not
a size four.

129
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:00,169
I used to be.

130
00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:01,962
(SOBBING)

131
00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:14,266
This punishment
is so cruel.

132
00:07:14,351 --> 00:07:15,851
And unusual.

133
00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:17,937
Can that judge
do this to us?

134
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,314
Creative sentencing
is common these days.

135
00:07:20,398 --> 00:07:22,691
That's why Bill Clinton
is our new mailman.

136
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,068
(GRUNTING)

137
00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:26,070
Dang magazines.

138
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:30,533
Well, maybe it'll be fun.
You'll get to spend
more time together.

139
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:33,577
Make sure your father
takes his mood medication.

140
00:07:33,662 --> 00:07:38,541
I'll medicate you... Honey.
You know, this could be fun.

141
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,876
Race you to the kitchen,
my little tether ball.

142
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,461
You're on,
Rope-a-Dope!

143
00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:43,754
(BOTH LAUGHING)

144
00:07:45,674 --> 00:07:49,301
Today we're going to
talk about predicates
and predicate nominatives.

145
00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,553
HOMER: Boring!

146
00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:53,764
Mr. Simpson,
I'm trying to teach.

147
00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:56,142
Come on.
These kids are never
gonna use that stuff.

148
00:07:56,226 --> 00:07:57,977
Will you please
just go back to sleep?

149
00:07:58,061 --> 00:07:59,478
Fine.

150
00:08:00,063 --> 00:08:01,564
(SNORING LOUDLY)

151
00:08:03,066 --> 00:08:04,233
(STARTLES)

152
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,485
All right, now,
who can pick out

153
00:08:06,570 --> 00:08:08,154
the predicate
in this sentence?

154
00:08:08,238 --> 00:08:10,114
(HOMER SHOUTING)

155
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:12,950
What's wrong
with him now, Bart?

156
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,410
Night terrors, ma'am.

157
00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:16,287
Cobras!

158
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:19,748
Okay, Son, concentrate.

159
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:23,210
Shut out everything
but the sound
of my criticism.

160
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,005
Swing!

161
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:27,298
(KIDS CHEERING)

162
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:31,594
Hey, hey! Run, Bart!
Pump your thighs!

163
00:08:32,095 --> 00:08:33,554
Pump them!

164
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,014
Hurry up, Dad!

165
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,474
I'm with you, Son.

166
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:41,770
(MUFFLED GROANING)

167
00:08:45,692 --> 00:08:48,152
Safe!
Wow. My first home run.

168
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:50,738
That's my boy.

169
00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:51,989
(EXCLAIMS)

170
00:08:52,073 --> 00:08:53,782
Come on, hug me.

171
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:56,952
(SNORING)

172
00:08:57,037 --> 00:09:00,206
(SCREAMS)
Cobras! Cobras!

173
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:08,797
I thought I would
hate working nights,
but it's so peaceful.

174
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:12,343
And there's no one
here to squeal on me
for shooting mice.

175
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:14,470
Can I ask you
something, Dad?
Sure, boy.

176
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,888
The town keeps
getting bigger.

177
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:18,224
Will there always be
enough electricity?

178
00:09:18,725 --> 00:09:20,142
(CHUCKLING)

179
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:23,604
Oh, Son, you know
that's none of your business.

180
00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:26,273
Say, is that our house?

181
00:09:26,358 --> 00:09:28,525
Uh, I don't think our
house has a steeple.

182
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:32,988
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
I forget things sometimes.

183
00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:38,577
Really?
You like skateboards?

184
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:41,205
Mmm-hmm.
We're sure learning
a lot about each other.

185
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:43,165
Yeah. This tether
has some pluses.

186
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:44,625
(BOTH GROANING)

187
00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:48,879
My head! I need a beer.

188
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,507
(EXCLAIMING)

189
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,425
I hit my head, Moe.

190
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:54,677
One beer, coming up.

191
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:58,430
Hey, hey,
no kids in the bar!

192
00:09:58,515 --> 00:09:59,515
Since when?

193
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,309
The heat's been on
since them Bush girls
were in here.

194
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,437
All right, all right.
Come on, Bart.

195
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,068
I'm cold and scared.

196
00:10:11,236 --> 00:10:13,028
That's my little slugger.

197
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,364
Come on, Dad. Let's go.

198
00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:19,868
Hey, knock it off!
These pants cost $600.

199
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:20,953
Really?

200
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,162
Yeah. They're Italian.

201
00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:24,415
All right, hand them over.

202
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:25,708
Moe, what the...

203
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:26,959
Yeah, I rob now.

204
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:28,961
KENT: There's a new
judge in town

205
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,797
with a hard-nosed
approach to juvenile crime.

206
00:10:32,215 --> 00:10:33,882
Punish the parents.

207
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:37,636
It's about time.
Oh.

208
00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:39,722
Kids are running wild, Kent.

209
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:42,016
And I blame
Mr. and Mrs. Neverspank.

210
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:44,518
Uh-oh. We'll have to
bleep their names.

211
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:48,272
You'll bleep nothing.
Parents, it's time
to take control.

212
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:51,400
If you can't cope,
you'll wear the rope.

213
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:54,403
Well, you can tell
she's never had kids.

214
00:10:54,529 --> 00:10:56,989
Look how high and firm
her breasts are.

215
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:58,657
Granted.
But you gotta admit,

216
00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:01,118
constant supervision
has been good for Bart.

217
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:02,745
He might even
make the honor roll,

218
00:11:02,829 --> 00:11:05,205
if Dad can control
his night terrors.

219
00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:07,374
Well, that's
a pretty big if, honey.

220
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,793
Come on, Dad.
I gotta go to
the bathroom.

221
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,338
I just got comfortable.
Use the bottle.

222
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:16,592
No! I don't want
you going in a bottle.
That's what hobos do.

223
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:18,177
Come on, Homer.

224
00:11:18,261 --> 00:11:19,303
No.

225
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:20,429
Mom!

226
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:23,599
Oh, geez.
Homer, just take
him to the bathroom.

227
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:26,643
Fine! I don't know why
we even have a bottle!

228
00:11:26,978 --> 00:11:28,437
Somebody tell me!

229
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:37,529
Would you mind?
I'm trying to do
my homework.

230
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,782
Son, it's a little chilly.

231
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:42,618
Maybe you
should wrap a blanket
around your head.

232
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:44,995
Homie, no. We can't.

233
00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:47,539
What's the...
What's the big deal?

234
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:50,542
He sees
a thousand times worse
on that Animal Channel!

235
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:55,172
I don't want him to see us...
Expressing our love.

236
00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:58,175
Why not? Kids are
very visual these days!

237
00:11:58,259 --> 00:11:59,426
No!
But...

238
00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,053
The lady said no.

239
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,304
Hey, shut up.

240
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:03,680
You shut up.

241
00:12:03,765 --> 00:12:04,765
Ow!

242
00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,600
Why, you...
(GROANS)

243
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:07,810
What'd you do that for?

244
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,103
Because I... Ow!

245
00:12:09,187 --> 00:12:10,604
You... Ow!
(GROANS)

246
00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:11,980
Ah!
Ow!

247
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:13,565
Oh, yeah?

248
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,693
I'm sleeping
in the bathtub.

249
00:12:17,529 --> 00:12:19,196
Why, you little...

250
00:12:22,033 --> 00:12:24,368
Ow! Ow! Ow!

251
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:27,538
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

252
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:29,623
That really hurt.

253
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:32,626
I can't take it anymore!

254
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:33,836
(BOTH SCREAMING)

255
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,590
Mom, you cut the tether.

256
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:41,510
We're free!
Your mother set us free!

257
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:44,680
Woo-hoo!

258
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,265
WOMAN'S VOICE:
Don't celebrate too much.

259
00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:47,683
Hey, what...

260
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,268
Who said that?

261
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:52,938
That's right.
It's me, Judge Harm,

262
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:55,107
through the magic
of fiber optics.

263
00:12:55,275 --> 00:12:57,276
Hey, how about that?

264
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,737
Quiet, Tubsy!
You violated my order.

265
00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:03,115
But Constance,
it only happened because...

266
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:07,119
Hey, hey, if I want
a cock and bull story,
I'll read Hemingway.

267
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:11,290
Don't be mad at Homer.
I was the one
who cut the rope.

268
00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:13,000
Are you threatening
me with that knife?

269
00:13:13,084 --> 00:13:14,084
No!

270
00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:16,211
Wait. I'm to blame, Judge.

271
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,755
You see,
I was pressuring my wife

272
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:20,632
to make love
in front of our son,

273
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:23,427
you're gonna laugh
when you hear this,
when suddenly...

274
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:24,720
(GROWLING)

275
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,306
Well, I thought
Dad was the problem,

276
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:30,184
but apparently Mom is
no prize pig herself.

277
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:32,478
It's a miracle
poor Bartholomew isn't

278
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,813
robbing banks and
chasing sweet Lady H.

279
00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:36,482
I'm a latchkey kid.

280
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:37,774
You are not!

281
00:13:37,942 --> 00:13:39,067
Quiet, little girl!

282
00:13:40,278 --> 00:13:42,654
You two need to wake up
and smell the java,

283
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,616
and the first step
is to admit that
you're bad parents.

284
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:48,410
I admit it.
Homer, no.
We're not bad parents.

285
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,704
Yes, you are!
Just say it!

286
00:13:50,788 --> 00:13:54,416
No, I won't!
And frankly, Judge,
I think you're a bully!

287
00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:56,084
You do, huh?

288
00:13:57,295 --> 00:14:00,756
You're so busy
thinking up crazy ways
to punish people,

289
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,800
you can't see how
much I love my kids.

290
00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:06,553
Your Honor, I'd like
to be tried separately.

291
00:14:06,638 --> 00:14:09,598
I don't mean to be
disrespectful, Judge Harm,

292
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:12,100
but we are not bad parents,

293
00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:14,019
and there isn't
a tether in this world

294
00:14:14,103 --> 00:14:17,147
with enough fiber optics
to make me say we are.

295
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:18,982
Hmm.

296
00:14:21,444 --> 00:14:23,320
She's such a butthole.

297
00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:27,115
(MARGE GRUNTING)

298
00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:32,287
Sorry!
Just... Just let me get...

299
00:14:32,372 --> 00:14:33,580
Ow!

300
00:14:41,005 --> 00:14:42,506
Damn it!

301
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:44,049
Poor Mom and Dad.

302
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:47,386
Do you think it's fair
that you're always
getting into trouble

303
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:49,388
yet Mom and Dad
are being punished?

304
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:51,265
No, it's terrible.

305
00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,851
Well, why don't you do
something about it?

306
00:14:54,936 --> 00:14:55,978
After wrestling.

307
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:59,106
Ladies and gentlemen,
I don't believe
what I am seeing.

308
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:02,025
Doctor Bonebreak
just married Rumble-lina,

309
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,736
and they're already
whaling on each other!

310
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:08,782
When are you gonna start
taking responsibility
for your actions?

311
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,242
'Cause I felt like it.

312
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:11,910
You're not even listening.

313
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:14,204
I know you are,
but what am I?

314
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:19,167
Haven't we been
humiliated enough?

315
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:20,586
Not yet, no.

316
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:22,254
Today the judge
wants you to bend over

317
00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,423
so people can spank you
from their cars.

318
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,008
Well, that explains the sign.

319
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,427
Yeah! Ooh!
Here comes a car.

320
00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:30,971
Yarr, ye scurvy dogs!

321
00:15:31,055 --> 00:15:32,055
Ow!
Ow!

322
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:33,849
Worst parents ever!

323
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,350
Ha-ha!

324
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:38,061
Hey! No extension cords!

325
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:41,940
You know,
we could get out of
these stupid things

326
00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:44,276
if you'd just tell the judge
you're a bad mother.

327
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,028
And you don't even
have to say "bad."

328
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:49,948
It could be
"negligent" or "unfit"
or "drugged up."

329
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:52,492
I just can't do that, Homer.

330
00:15:52,910 --> 00:15:57,372
It's a matter of principle,
and I need you to
support me in this.

331
00:16:02,545 --> 00:16:06,214
You're right.
It's time to stand up
to that firm-breasted judge.

332
00:16:06,341 --> 00:16:09,426
But first,
we've gotta break
out of these stocks.

333
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,053
(SAWING)

334
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:13,722
Easy. Easy.

335
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:15,307
I want goggles, too!

336
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,726
Shh!
You'll wake up Flanders.

337
00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:19,394
(EXCLAIMS)

338
00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:20,812
What the...
(MARGE SCREAMS)

339
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,106
(LAUGHS)

340
00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:25,192
Hey, Marge, surf's up!

341
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:28,278
You're using my table saw
to violate a court order?

342
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,530
Well, we tried
all those other tools.

343
00:16:33,409 --> 00:16:35,327
Gee, I always like
to help you, Homer,

344
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:38,872
but I don't want
to be an accessory to
some sort of shady doings.

345
00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,248
And it does
raise a whole host

346
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,084
of ethical questions,
such as...

347
00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:43,418
Woo-hoo!

348
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:45,253
(SIGHS)

349
00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:53,261
Now, time for "Operation
Judge-Get-Back-At."

350
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,180
If that costume shop
knew we were using

351
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,224
these burglar
outfits for real,

352
00:16:57,308 --> 00:16:58,892
they'd be furious.

353
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:02,145
Okay. She lives at
1 Ocean View Drive.

354
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,439
Let's start skulking.

355
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,274
(HOMER HUMMING)

356
00:17:11,155 --> 00:17:12,322
(GASPS)

357
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:15,659
Oh.
It's only the milkman.

358
00:17:15,743 --> 00:17:19,830
Hey, maybe I should
be a milkman!

359
00:17:19,914 --> 00:17:21,456
Concentrate, Homer.

360
00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,296
This address must be wrong.

361
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,340
No! No, there it is!

362
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:36,638
She lives in a houseboat?
Wow! She is so cool!

363
00:17:37,140 --> 00:17:38,890
We hate her, Homer.

364
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:40,642
I know. I know.
Fight the power.

365
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,477
Let's do this thing.

366
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:46,940
(POLICE SIREN WAILS)

367
00:17:47,024 --> 00:17:48,150
Cops!

368
00:17:52,655 --> 00:17:54,239
Ain't that sweet, Chief?

369
00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,741
It sure is, Lou.

370
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:58,201
Those two longshoremen
found love.

371
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:02,080
Let's go.

372
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:09,379
(SHUSHING)

373
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:15,093
Look at her in there,
washing her body.

374
00:18:15,178 --> 00:18:18,638
Get away from that window
and help me with this banner.

375
00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:22,893
(GIGGLES)

376
00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:24,603
I hate to call
a judge dirty names,

377
00:18:24,687 --> 00:18:28,482
but there's only
one way to describe
a nasty super witch like her.

378
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:31,193
Let's get out of here!

379
00:18:36,199 --> 00:18:38,408
It's just a friendly seal.

380
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,243
(BARKING)

381
00:18:40,411 --> 00:18:41,453
Shh.

382
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,371
No, we can't play now.

383
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:45,373
(BARKING LOUDER)

384
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:47,417
Shut up!

385
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,377
(BOTH GASP)

386
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,422
What is it, Pancho?
Is someone out there?

387
00:18:52,507 --> 00:18:53,507
(BARKING)

388
00:18:58,221 --> 00:18:59,721
You can't hide from me.

389
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,723
She's gonna find us!

390
00:19:01,808 --> 00:19:04,100
Oh, Lord,
guide this cinder block.

391
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,352
Homer, no!

392
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:06,561
(SCREAMS)

393
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:08,647
HOMER: Oh-oh.

394
00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:09,981
My house!

395
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:14,861
(GROWLING)

396
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:18,365
Hey, how you doing?

397
00:19:25,498 --> 00:19:28,750
That quilt was made
by my grandmother!

398
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:32,712
So... It cost you nothing.

399
00:19:32,797 --> 00:19:34,840
Shut up!

400
00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:38,927
You two are not
only horrible parents,
you're violent criminals,

401
00:19:39,095 --> 00:19:42,305
and I'm gonna lock you up
till frogs do fractions.

402
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:47,310
Your Honor,
may I say something?

403
00:19:47,395 --> 00:19:50,021
Well,
it is highly unorthodox.

404
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:51,565
So, no!

405
00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:52,691
Please, Your Honor?

406
00:19:53,109 --> 00:19:55,068
Oh, I can't resist
that look.

407
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:57,821
You remind me of me
when I was a little boy.

408
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:01,908
Your Honor,
it's not easy
being my parents.

409
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:04,286
I'm always
screwing up in school

410
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,413
and getting in trouble
with the law.

411
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:09,583
But if I grow up to be
a halfway-decent person,

412
00:20:09,667 --> 00:20:12,460
I know it'll be because
of my mom and dad.

413
00:20:13,379 --> 00:20:17,173
Everyone else
might give up on me,
but my parents never will.

414
00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:18,383
(SNIFFS)

415
00:20:18,467 --> 00:20:20,218
That's my brother.

416
00:20:20,303 --> 00:20:23,471
Um... Did she say
she used to be a dude?

417
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,515
So, Your Honor,
if you're going to punish

418
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,684
anyone in this
courtroom today,

419
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:30,312
I ask that you punish me.

420
00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,023
Okay, I will!

421
00:20:33,357 --> 00:20:37,652
Bartholomew Simpson,
I hereby sentence you to
five years in juvenile hall!

422
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:38,820
(BOTH GASPING)

423
00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:41,031
Well,
I'm back from vacation.

424
00:20:41,115 --> 00:20:44,367
But I was just
about to bang my gavel,
making the sentence official.

425
00:20:44,452 --> 00:20:47,078
Sorry, I've already
put my clown down.

426
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,205
But I was just going to...

427
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:51,166
The clown is down.

428
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,001
(EXCLAIMS)

429
00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:57,964
Judge Snyder,
motion to declare a writ
of boys will be boys.

430
00:20:58,049 --> 00:21:00,425
Motion granted.
Case dismissed!

431
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,177
Woo-hoo!
Woo-hoo!

432
00:21:04,847 --> 00:21:07,182
MARGE: All right,
we got lucky that time,

433
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:10,518
but I want
everyone in this family
to raise your hand

434
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:14,356
and promise
not to break the law
for one full year.

435
00:21:14,690 --> 00:21:16,608
We promise.
We promise.

436
00:21:16,692 --> 00:21:17,692
(GASPS)

437
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:18,777
(TIRES SCREECHING)

438
00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:21,780
(SIGHS) That was close.

439
00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:24,366
Please drive off me.

440
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,243
What's that noise?

441
00:21:27,328 --> 00:21:29,913
Uh...
Just the radio, dear.

442
00:21:30,164 --> 00:21:34,584
(SINGING) Dang me, dang me
They ought to take
a rope and hang me

443
00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:37,629
High from the highest tree

444
00:21:38,214 --> 00:21:41,007
Woman, would you weep for me

445
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:48,640
(DON'T FEAR THE REAPER
PLAYING)

446
00:21:59,902 --> 00:22:04,197
All our times have come

447
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:11,079
Here but now they're gone

448
00:22:13,499 --> 00:22:16,167
Seasons don't fear the reaper

449
00:22:16,252 --> 00:22:19,004
Nor do the wind,
the sun or the rain

450
00:22:19,088 --> 00:22:21,131
We can be like they are

451
00:22:21,215 --> 00:22:22,424
Come on, baby

452
00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:24,092
Don't fear the reaper

453
00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:25,760
Baby, take my hand

454
00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:27,387
Don't fear the reaper

455
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:28,930
HOMER: Cobras!

456
00:22:33,394 --> 00:22:34,436
English - US - PSDH