1
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:05,672
(SINGING) The Simpsons

2
00:00:07,049 --> 00:00:08,758
(TIRES SCREECHING)

3
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:11,302
D'oh!

4
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,387
(SCREAMS)

5
00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:13,471
(BRAKES SCREECHING)

6
00:00:32,783 --> 00:00:34,158
Let's get started.

7
00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:36,285
First I'd like to
announce that
thanks to the magic

8
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,037
of Disney Animatronics,

9
00:00:38,122 --> 00:00:40,873
Strom Thurmond
will live another
100 years.

10
00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,378
(RECORDING)
Twenty more terms!

11
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:49,215
Moving on to new business,
what act of unmitigated evil

12
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,217
shall the Republican Party
undertake this week?

13
00:00:51,301 --> 00:00:52,593
Oh! Oh, oh, oh.

14
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,012
You've already
done enough, Nader.

15
00:00:55,180 --> 00:00:57,181
Let's get rid of PBS!

16
00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:58,599
Those lousy Muppets
have been taking

17
00:00:58,684 --> 00:01:00,643
food out of my mouth
for too long!

18
00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,811
(SCOFFS)

19
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,605
I say we crack down
on the hippies.

20
00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:05,815
Bla.

21
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,900
What about this
dang environment?

22
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,236
Back in Texas,
we got rid of it,

23
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,363
and it made everyone
a lot happier.

24
00:01:13,157 --> 00:01:14,449
ALL: He was so happy...

25
00:01:14,533 --> 00:01:15,742
Excellent.

26
00:01:15,826 --> 00:01:17,577
We shall destroy
the environment

27
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,746
by scrapping every
anti-pollution law.

28
00:01:20,164 --> 00:01:24,459
Now Bob Dole
will read from
the Necronomicon.

29
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,255
(SPEAKING IN LATIN)

30
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,343
In addition,
the administration
has declared

31
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,429
recycling a felony.

32
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:40,016
And Smokey the Bear
is now Choppy the Lumberjack.

33
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,728
These trees are our
national heritage!

34
00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:45,104
(ROARING)

35
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,274
(LAUGHING)

36
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,735
A grizzly bear
with a chainsaw.

37
00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:53,070
Now there's
a killing machine!

38
00:01:58,911 --> 00:01:59,911
(HOOTING)

39
00:02:00,037 --> 00:02:03,873
Stop endangering yourself.
Stop endangering yourself.

40
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,568
Eyes stinging!

41
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,196
Good Lord! Acid rain!

42
00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:38,449
(SINGING) I'm singing
in the rain

43
00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:43,913
Just singing in the rain
What a glorious feeling

44
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:44,997
(SCREAMING)

45
00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:48,584
It burns like
a Glasgow bikini wax!

46
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,253
(SCREAMING)

47
00:02:51,797 --> 00:02:56,133
We'd better stay inside,
at least until the squirrels
stop melting.

48
00:02:56,218 --> 00:03:00,263
No problem.
There's plenty of
activities inside.

49
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:04,725
Now let's see
how our blind dates
liked each other.

50
00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,894
Oh, I really felt
there was a connection,

51
00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:09,438
and I would
definitely go out
with her again.

52
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,107
He smelled like puke!

53
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:14,861
The TV!

54
00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:16,737
(EXCLAIMING IN FEAR)

55
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,032
(SCREAMING)

56
00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:30,501
Stop screaming, Homer.

57
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,169
Quit trying to
control me.

58
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,839
We don't need TV
to have family fun.

59
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:37,383
Why don't we
play Monopoly?

60
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:38,926
Which version?

61
00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:41,095
We've got
Star Wars Monopoly.

62
00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:42,471
(READING)

63
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,644
Let's stick to
original Monopoly.

64
00:03:48,812 --> 00:03:51,272
The game is crazy
enough as it is.

65
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,691
How can an iron
be a landlord?

66
00:03:55,819 --> 00:03:57,153
Pennsylvania Avenue.

67
00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:00,156
I want to buy a house.
Hey, where'd they go?

68
00:04:01,450 --> 00:04:02,909
New shooter!

69
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:05,202
(CHUCKLES)

70
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:08,664
That's it, baby.
Welcome to Marvin Gardens.

71
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:12,793
(CHUCKLES) We'll see
about that.
One, two, three...

72
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:13,878
D'oh!

73
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,050
You're a little
light here, Dad.

74
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:21,052
I'm good for the rest.
You know I am.

75
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:22,637
Well, I'd like
to trust you, Homer.

76
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:25,222
But you've been
in jail three times.

77
00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:28,017
They told me
it would be like
this on the outside.

78
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:33,272
These hotels
are made of Legos.
Bart, you're cheating!

79
00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,608
Lisa, it was probably
an accident.

80
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,610
Oh, sure.
You take his side

81
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,738
just because he
bought you that house
on St. James Place.

82
00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:43,783
Who else is gonna
take care of her? Dad?

83
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:46,327
Why you little...

84
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:47,787
Stop fighting!

85
00:04:47,871 --> 00:04:50,414
Mom, that's not
how you pry
them apart.

86
00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:55,002
I've been prying
them apart since
before you were born!

87
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:57,046
(CHOKING)

88
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,601
Okay. Everyone
turn to the left.

89
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,521
Hey!
Oh, come on,
people.

90
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:16,524
The Prison Nutcracker Suite
is one week away.

91
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,734
And I don't see
five Sugar Plums.

92
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,820
I see five guys
who don't know

93
00:05:20,904 --> 00:05:22,655
their moves
and don't seem to care!

94
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,073
There, I said it!

95
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:26,867
(PHONE RINGING)
That better be Wardrobe.

96
00:05:26,952 --> 00:05:28,744
And it better be
good news.

97
00:05:28,870 --> 00:05:30,413
Hello?
(BART CHOKING)

98
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:33,165
It sounds like
a domestic disturbance.

99
00:05:33,250 --> 00:05:34,583
All right.
We'll be right back.

100
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:38,504
And don't try anything,
because Johanssen
there is a snitch.

101
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,591
(GROANING)

102
00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:55,229
Another case of
Monopoly-related
violence, Chief.

103
00:05:55,605 --> 00:05:58,065
How do those
Parker Brothers
sleep at night?

104
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,111
We better send in
the Negotia-bot.

105
00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:09,577
I am Brenda.
I am programmed to talk

106
00:06:09,661 --> 00:06:11,829
in a calm and
constructive manner.

107
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:14,623
Destroy! Destroy!

108
00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:21,130
Hey, this is taffy!

109
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:23,090
Police brutality!

110
00:06:25,302 --> 00:06:27,011
And chew-tality!

111
00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:35,061
Nice work, Brenda.
I'll take it from here.

112
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:37,313
No way.
This is my collar.

113
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:42,151
(SCOFFS) Too bad
real women don't come
with these, huh?

114
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,235
(GIGGLING)

115
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,447
You got that right.
Quiet, you!

116
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,199
That counts as
your phone call.

117
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:56,916
Thanks a lot,
everybody.

118
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,585
Now, I'll never
get into an Ivy
League school.

119
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:03,130
You're going to Stanford.
You're going to Stanford.

120
00:07:03,215 --> 00:07:04,757
You're going to Stanford.
You're going to Stanford.

121
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,592
Take it back!
Take it back!

122
00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:10,179
Stanford.
This family has
hit rock bottom.

123
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:13,557
(ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYING)

124
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,187
Hello. I'm Gabriel.

125
00:07:18,355 --> 00:07:22,274
(GASPS) A heavenly choir.
You must be an angel!

126
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:23,359
(LAUGHS)

127
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,277
No. That's my pager.

128
00:07:25,362 --> 00:07:27,321
(MUSIC STOPS)
I'm a social worker.

129
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,908
I'm here to help
you stop fighting
and become a family again.

130
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:33,119
No. You are
an angel.

131
00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:35,704
Like Denzel Washington
in The Preacher's Wife,

132
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:41,669
or Will Smith
in Bagger Vance,
or Slimer in Ghostbusters.

133
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:43,879
Sir, we know
you're not an angel.

134
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:46,173
My husband sees
too many movies.

135
00:07:46,341 --> 00:07:50,469
Don't blame me.
Blame Tinseltown
in its second golden age,

136
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:52,221
may it never end.

137
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,808
In a difficult
case like this,

138
00:07:55,892 --> 00:07:58,978
I like to observe
each family
member individually.

139
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:01,188
Well, my room
is my sanctuary.

140
00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:03,983
My family knows
that and respects that.

141
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:06,902
I got sprayed by
a skunk! Let me rub it
off on your sweaters!

142
00:08:07,696 --> 00:08:10,489
Just 10 more years.
Just 10 more years.

143
00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:12,491
Just 10 more years.

144
00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:18,497
Attention, everyone.
This is Gabriel,
my personal social worker.

145
00:08:18,582 --> 00:08:21,208
He has to be here.
I'm just that nuts.

146
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:23,377
(KIDS EXCLAIMING IN SURPRISE)

147
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:25,796
How come you get
a social worker?

148
00:08:25,881 --> 00:08:27,923
I'm the one
with stigmata.

149
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,929
Thank you, Marge.
You sure do
love cooking.

150
00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,223
Food keeps
my family happy.

151
00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:39,268
So, I make a few
practice dinners
before showtime.

152
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:42,521
Because at 6:00,
we go live!

153
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:49,111
Ah! Okay, Gabriel,
this is a bar.

154
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:50,988
It's where I go
to drink alcohol,

155
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:54,158
which is the
mortal equivalent
of your ambrosia.

156
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:56,535
Homer, I am not an angel!

157
00:08:56,620 --> 00:08:58,871
(SNORTS) Well,
not with that temper.

158
00:09:01,917 --> 00:09:06,921
Look, the thing
about my family is
there's five of us.

159
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:10,049
Marge, Bart,
Girl Bart,

160
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:14,428
the one who
doesn't talk,
and the fat guy.

161
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,722
How I loathe him!

162
00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,432
(GLASS SHATTERING)

163
00:09:18,516 --> 00:09:19,892
HOMER: Oh!

164
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,440
Okay. Why are we
in the woods?

165
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,984
Is this heaven?
No.

166
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,527
I brought you out
here to shake off

167
00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:32,613
your negative
behavior patterns.

168
00:09:32,697 --> 00:09:35,741
Marge, you medicate
your family with food.

169
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:38,244
Bart, you'll do
anything for attention.

170
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:39,411
Cut that out!

171
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,996
They chose me.

172
00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:43,999
Homer, your problem
is quite simple.

173
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:46,293
You're a drunken,
childish buffoon.

174
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:49,588
Which is society's
fault because...

175
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:52,841
It's your fault, Homer.
But I've got an exercise

176
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,594
that will help
all of you break out of
the roles you're stuck in.

177
00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:56,929
Who feels
like lunch?
Me!

178
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,055
Me!
Right here!

179
00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,473
Me, too!
Good.

180
00:09:59,557 --> 00:10:01,016
I hung it on
the top of that tree.

181
00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:03,852
But how are we
supposed to get it?

182
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:05,938
You'll just
have to cooperate.

183
00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:07,523
Cooperate?

184
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:11,485
Well, this is
one family that
doesn't swing that way!

185
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:13,237
Are you sure?

186
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:15,030
I made roast
beef sandwiches,

187
00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:16,657
one falafel...
Thank you.

188
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:17,783
...and plenty
of beer.

189
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:18,951
Give me that beer!

190
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:27,334
(EXCLAIMING IN FEAR)

191
00:10:36,803 --> 00:10:38,637
Gabriel, are you okay?

192
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:41,140
Yes. But I'm afraid
your lunch

193
00:10:41,224 --> 00:10:43,392
has attracted some
unwanted visitors.

194
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:46,020
(GROWLING)

195
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:49,273
We've got to do
something! But what?

196
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:50,607
Okay, family huddle.

197
00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,068
Here's how
it's gonna go down.

198
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,446
As a family,
we drive away.

199
00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:58,407
We cover for each
other as a family.

200
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:00,117
That's what Gabriel
would've wanted.

201
00:11:00,201 --> 00:11:02,119
Look. We can't fall
into old patterns.

202
00:11:02,203 --> 00:11:03,829
We've got to
think of a plan.

203
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:06,540
Okay. But
talk like this.

204
00:11:06,624 --> 00:11:08,584
Fine. I'll talk
like this.

205
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:09,710
What?

206
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:15,257
Look, Gabriel!
We're learning
to work together!

207
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,760
That's great.
But so are the wolves
and cougars!

208
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,219
(SNARLING)

209
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,264
(STOPS SNARLING)

210
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,518
(CONTINUES SNARLING)

211
00:11:28,938 --> 00:11:33,108
Dad's on the log. Now,
Mom, you get the car
and pull them to safety!

212
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:37,154
(GROANS) My driving ankle.

213
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,574
Bart, I know
this sounds crazy,

214
00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:42,868
but do you think
you can drive a car?

215
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:45,329
Okay. But it's
my first time.

216
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:46,789
Here's the keys.

217
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:47,873
I got a set.

218
00:11:58,760 --> 00:11:59,968
Now, Bart!

219
00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:04,473
(WOLF ROARING)

220
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:10,145
Give them the food!

221
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:18,320
Oh, no!
The roast beef is
making them stronger!

222
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,572
And the falafel is
making them angrier!

223
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,492
(HOMER EXCLAIMING IN FEAR)

224
00:12:24,702 --> 00:12:26,412
Give them the beer!

225
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,288
It will impair
their motor skills!

226
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:30,833
No! I will never...

227
00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:32,251
Oh, wait. It's Blatz.

228
00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:42,261
Hey, they're
all right.

229
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:44,847
ALL: (SINGING) We are family

230
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:47,683
Our bitter fights
are now history

231
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,269
ALL: We are family

232
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:52,813
Wolves and cougars
ate our roast beef

233
00:12:52,897 --> 00:12:55,441
Well, I think
you all did great.

234
00:12:55,525 --> 00:12:56,859
You broke out of
your normal roles

235
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,236
to accomplish
something as a family.

236
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:01,155
I really earned
my wings.

237
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,448
I knew it!

238
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:04,700
No. I mean this CD.

239
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,326
(READING)

240
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:10,706
(SINGING) Band on the run

241
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:15,210
You know, we've been
through some 280
adventures together,

242
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:18,297
but our bond has
never been stronger.

243
00:13:18,381 --> 00:13:19,381
Mmm.

244
00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:23,635
Yeah. Our family
is as functional
as all get out.

245
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:28,056
Could this be
the end of our series
of events?

246
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:30,309
(TIRES SCREECHING)

247
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:34,521
Can I help you?

248
00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:36,899
Yeah. I'm looking
for Homer Simpson.

249
00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:41,069
Oh, it's the woman
I married in Vegas!

250
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,488
(ALL GASPING)

251
00:13:42,572 --> 00:13:44,907
Homer, you're
a bad man,

252
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,201
and your seed
should be wiped
from the earth.

253
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,286
No offense, children.

254
00:13:56,252 --> 00:13:59,129
Homer and Ned,
you may now
kiss your brides.

255
00:13:59,756 --> 00:14:01,632
Give it to me, baby.

256
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,260
Homer!
It's okay!
We're married!

257
00:14:05,386 --> 00:14:06,386
(GASPS)

258
00:14:06,471 --> 00:14:09,223
You and Ned married
a couple of floozies?

259
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:12,184
Marge, I'm sorry!
But it wasn't my fault.

260
00:14:12,268 --> 00:14:13,685
Liquors drunkened me!

261
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:16,230
If I had known
there were loose
women in Las Vegas,

262
00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,357
I would never
have let you go!

263
00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:21,068
Look, I did marry her!
But I abandoned her!

264
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:23,403
Amber, tell her how
I abandoned you!

265
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,614
This is the worst thing
you've ever done!

266
00:14:27,158 --> 00:14:28,617
(DOOR SLAMS)

267
00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:31,161
Well, Ginger,

268
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:34,456
it sure is neat
that you managed
to hunt me down.

269
00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,083
Where's the bed?

270
00:14:36,167 --> 00:14:39,878
Oh Lord,
I know my new wife
is a little more

271
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:41,171
peppermint than
you're used to.

272
00:14:41,256 --> 00:14:44,883
But I know you'd want me
to honor my sacred vows.
So, I will.

273
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:48,345
Hey, stud. Where do
you keep your Wet Ones?
I need a shower.

274
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,722
Oh, we've got a real
shower upstairs.

275
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:53,225
Upstairs? I hit
the jackpot!

276
00:14:57,814 --> 00:15:01,233
So, sitting
on the bed, eh?

277
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,151
Get out, Homer.

278
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:06,822
Look, I married her.
But that is as
far as we went.

279
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,783
We never ever made whoopee,
or even mouth whoopee!

280
00:15:10,034 --> 00:15:13,078
Homer, I don't know
if I can ever forgive you.

281
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,913
Please go away.

282
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:16,039
Fair enough.

283
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,874
But I'm gonna come back
with the greatest gift

284
00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:21,920
a husband can give his wife.
An annulment from
his secret wife.

285
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:28,427
Mr. Simpson,
under Nevada law, bigamy,
or "Mormon Hold 'Em,"

286
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:31,513
is perfectly legal.
Both marriages stand.

287
00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:33,599
But I only love Marge!

288
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:36,893
I hereby order you
to take care of
both of your wives!

289
00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,312
Bailiff, ring him!

290
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:42,941
(SIGHS)

291
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:50,490
You can't kick me out.
It'll cause a miscount
in the census!

292
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:52,075
A miscount!

293
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,160
(MARGE EXCLAIMS ANGRILY)

294
00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:55,954
Of all things
to ever come back

295
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:58,415
and bite me in the ass,
this is the worst!

296
00:16:02,045 --> 00:16:04,046
Please, just
leave me alone.

297
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:07,966
Now, now.
Mama's gonna
make you a snack.

298
00:16:08,051 --> 00:16:09,301
(GASPS) Ooh!

299
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:12,888
Oh, yeah.
That's good.

300
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,891
Don't stop. Oh, yeah...

301
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:19,186
Faster! Faster! Faster!

302
00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:22,648
Faster! Oh,
you do that
like a pro!

303
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:26,735
Oh, no.
She's making him
a sandwich!

304
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,028
HOMER: Use both hands!

305
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,780
(SNORING)

306
00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:35,035
(SINGING) Rise and shine
and give God
your glory, glory!

307
00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:38,705
Me and the boys
made you breakfast
in bed.

308
00:16:38,790 --> 00:16:39,915
It's the best
darn-diddily way

309
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,042
to start your
first Flanders day.

310
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:45,003
Think you can
Irish up this coffee
for me?

311
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:47,089
Oops. Watch the swears,
honey bear.

312
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,591
We don't use the "I"
word in this house.

313
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:52,427
Where's my cigarettes?

314
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,013
We flushed your sin
sticks down to hell.

315
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:56,848
Smokers are jokers.

316
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,684
Smokers are jokers!
Smokers are jokers!

317
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:00,519
I think I'm
gonna throw up.

318
00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:04,022
Who wants to
hold Mommy's hair?

319
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:05,524
Me! Me!
I do!

320
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:10,362
Hey, Vegas Mom,
how long are you
gonna stay here?

321
00:17:10,446 --> 00:17:14,116
I'm not going
anywhere. I already
unpacked my delicates.

322
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,911
Doesn't it bother you
that you're breaking up
our family?

323
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:21,248
You know,
I bet you and me
could be friends.

324
00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:23,250
I could show you
how to put on makeup.

325
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:25,043
I'm eight years old.

326
00:17:25,128 --> 00:17:26,795
You could look seven.

327
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:29,256
And I could teach
you to count cards.

328
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:30,966
Nah. I already
got a system.

329
00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:32,801
LENNY: Jeez, Homer.
I thought someone

330
00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:34,553
with two wives
would be happy.

331
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:36,805
No. You're thinking
of someone
with two knives.

332
00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,474
I gotta tell you,
this is pretty terrific.

333
00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,268
(LAUGHS) Yeah!

334
00:17:50,862 --> 00:17:52,154
(SNORING)

335
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,907
(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

336
00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:01,955
(GRUNTING)

337
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,962
Can't panic.
Must remain calm.

338
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:11,173
(WHISTLING)

339
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,268
(YAWNING)

340
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:26,563
Ah! The sweet couple
of seconds before

341
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:29,399
I remember why I'm
sleeping on the lawn.

342
00:18:29,692 --> 00:18:32,235
Homer?
Marge, you're
speaking to me?

343
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,279
Why don't you come
inside and we'll talk?

344
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:37,240
Talk about what?
Sports? Bigamy?

345
00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:39,201
Bigamy!

346
00:18:39,285 --> 00:18:40,619
Not a sports fan, huh?

347
00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:46,041
You insensitive jerk!

348
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,336
Maybe this family
would be better
off without you!

349
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:52,255
You know,
there are only
so many times

350
00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:55,091
I can say I'm sorry
and still mean it!

351
00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:58,595
Why don't you just
take Britney Beers
and get out of here?

352
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:01,389
I would,
if it wasn't
for the kids!

353
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,600
Hey, the heart wants
what it wants, dude.

354
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,185
We had a good run.

355
00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,315
Well, that's the last
we'll see of them.

356
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:13,068
Come on.
We're going to Moe's.

357
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,865
My lady's glass
is empty, Moe.

358
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:21,451
Bring her another
Cookies and Cream martini.

359
00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:25,997
No, honey.
This time make it
a Sex on the Beach.

360
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:28,416
And hold the Beach!

361
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:32,003
Hey, Homer.
Your new wife is great.

362
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:34,005
Her lips look
like night crawlers!

363
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,967
You know, she can
put that mole
anywhere on her face.

364
00:19:37,051 --> 00:19:38,218
Wow.

365
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:43,056
To Amber, who proves
there are seconds in
the buffet of life.

366
00:19:49,897 --> 00:19:53,483
Oh, my head! Aspirin.

367
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,320
RU-486.

368
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:00,657
Morning, love muffin.

369
00:20:00,741 --> 00:20:01,950
Who are you?

370
00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:03,285
I'm your new husband.

371
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:06,121
And that was a wedding night
I'll never forget!

372
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,206
Oh, no. We didn't.

373
00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:10,250
Well, we almost didn't.

374
00:20:10,501 --> 00:20:13,628
But you wouldn't take
"I can't" for an answer.

375
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:17,632
You want to give
Honest Abe another term
in the Oval Office?

376
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:18,717
No!

377
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:19,885
Oh, thank God!

378
00:20:19,969 --> 00:20:21,303
(SNORING)

379
00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:25,140
We're married?
But how?

380
00:20:26,142 --> 00:20:30,270
Do you, Amber,
take Abraham as your
lawful wedded husband,

381
00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:32,480
renouncing all others?

382
00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,733
Oh, sure.

383
00:20:34,817 --> 00:20:36,776
He paid for the hour.

384
00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:40,113
(GASPS)
Whoo-hoo!

385
00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:41,948
You crapped out,
Vegas Mom!

386
00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:44,492
Our plan
worked perfectly.

387
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:46,745
And we carried it
out as a family.

388
00:20:46,829 --> 00:20:48,997
What plan?
You got me drunk.

389
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:52,876
Yeah. But this time
you woke up with
more than a hangover!

390
00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,837
You're married
to me! Me!

391
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:01,676
I can't take it!
You're too goody-goody!

392
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:04,596
That's not you
talking. That's the
honey-mustard dressing!

393
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,265
Come on, Ginger.
Let's go back to Vegas.

394
00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:10,685
Yeah. I'm sure
there's poker games
we can be won in.

395
00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:14,606
(TIRES SCREECHING)

396
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,776
I'm so proud of us.

397
00:21:17,860 --> 00:21:20,779
When we stick together,
we can do anything.

398
00:21:20,863 --> 00:21:23,698
Oh! I lost
another wife!

399
00:21:23,783 --> 00:21:25,659
I'm so sorry, Grampa.

400
00:21:25,743 --> 00:21:29,496
Well, it hurts now.
But the senility
will take care of that.

401
00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:32,374
There she goes.

402
00:21:32,458 --> 00:21:35,251
You know,
I have a son
about your age.

403
00:21:35,378 --> 00:21:36,920
(ALL LAUGHING)

404
00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:40,632
Oh, I love that.

405
00:22:32,935 --> 00:22:33,935
English - US - PSDH