1
00:00:03,921 --> 00:00:07,048
(SINGING) The Simpsons

2
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:08,216
(TIRES SCREECHING)

3
00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:11,260
D'oh!

4
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,387
(SCREAMS)

5
00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:13,471
(BRAKES SCREECHING)

6
00:00:15,391 --> 00:00:16,933
(EXCLAIMING)

7
00:00:26,819 --> 00:00:29,278
Welcome to second
grade gymnastics.

8
00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:31,155
We'll get started
as soon as the
previous class

9
00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:32,907
finishes up
on the equipment.

10
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,076
(GRUNTING)
Don't worry.

11
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:38,287
You can win them back
if you stick the landing.

12
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,125
Big smile.

13
00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:47,964
Come on, ladies.
Faster, higher, better!

14
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,179
(ALL GROANING)

15
00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:57,265
(GIGGLES) My bad.

16
00:00:57,641 --> 00:01:01,310
Lisa, gym isn't just
about encouraging fitness,

17
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,479
it's also about
exposing weakness!

18
00:01:04,440 --> 00:01:05,606
Check minus.

19
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:08,735
Are you mad, Brunella?
You can't fail Lisa.

20
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,237
She's the only child
keeping this
school accredited.

21
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:12,447
Without her,
we'd have to release

22
00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:14,490
these children
back into the forest.

23
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:18,286
So, let's just turn
that minus into a plus.

24
00:01:20,497 --> 00:01:22,498
Skinner, I took an oath!

25
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:26,043
And by Xena,
this girl's failing gym!

26
00:01:26,211 --> 00:01:28,379
Perhaps we could get
her a private coach?

27
00:01:28,464 --> 00:01:31,132
Well, I know a coach.
But he's tough.

28
00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,009
He defected
into East Germany.

29
00:01:40,893 --> 00:01:42,059
Okay.

30
00:01:42,144 --> 00:01:46,773
For next exercise,
put hands on hips,
jump out window,

31
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:51,402
and go tell parents to
stop wasting my time
with failure child!

32
00:01:51,487 --> 00:01:52,987
(WAILING)

33
00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:57,909
Faster! Lift your knees!

34
00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:01,871
Look, Lisa!
There's an opening!

35
00:02:01,955 --> 00:02:04,832
Who wants to
put on a leotard
and get screamed at?

36
00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:07,585
Well, hookers
and Spider-Man.

37
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,712
Forget it.
I'm going home.

38
00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:12,590
(GROANS)

39
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:18,262
Get up, Liser.

40
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:20,139
President Kennedy!

41
00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:21,432
That's right, Liser.

42
00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,518
Academics are important.

43
00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:26,145
But you must also train
your body with vigor.

44
00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:30,775
That's why I created
the President's Council
on Physical Fitness, yes.

45
00:02:30,859 --> 00:02:32,819
Well, I can't argue
with the man

46
00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:34,779
who wrote
Profiles in Courage.

47
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:39,283
Yes. Uh, I wrote it.
Well, good luck, Liser.

48
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:41,702
Thanks! I'll see you
in heaven!

49
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:45,081
Uh, yes,
uh, heaven.

50
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,416
(GASPS)

51
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,882
My little munchkin
bumped her pumpkin.

52
00:02:54,967 --> 00:02:56,425
Are you okay, Lisa?

53
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,844
I'm more than okay!

54
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,721
Ich bin ein gymnast.

55
00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:04,475
Aw, she must've dreamt
about Hitler again.

56
00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:12,984
There you go.
A Laffy Meal for you,

57
00:03:13,068 --> 00:03:15,570
and a Nostalgia Meal
for me.

58
00:03:16,154 --> 00:03:18,281
Oh, boy!
This takes me back!

59
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:22,910
Two ration stamps
and an artillery shell
full of oleo!

60
00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:25,121
What's your
nostalgia prize,
Grampa?

61
00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:27,248
Liberace action figure.

62
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,084
LIBERACE ACTION FIGURE:
Party tonight at
Roddy McDowall's.

63
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:33,421
I got a plastic
Krusty-saurus.

64
00:03:33,505 --> 00:03:34,714
(BUZZING SOUND)

65
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:35,923
Hmm.

66
00:03:36,508 --> 00:03:38,968
A mosquito?
How'd that get in there?

67
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:49,353
KRUSTY ON PA: Laziness is
counter-revolutionary.
(LAUGHING)

68
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:52,315
Questions are decadent!
(LAUGHING)

69
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:55,651
Fast hands mean
less whipping.
(LAUGHING)

70
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:04,994
Ow!

71
00:04:05,329 --> 00:04:07,246
Skeeter bites
are good luck.

72
00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:09,290
Scratch it and
you get a wish.

73
00:04:10,876 --> 00:04:11,918
(MOANS)

74
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:15,212
I don't feel so good.
Can you take me
to the hospital?

75
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:18,174
Finally we're doing
something I want to do.

76
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:24,347
Just relax. Think of
floor as full of snakes.

77
00:04:24,681 --> 00:04:26,849
You fall, they kill you!

78
00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,769
Relax, relax.

79
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:31,646
And snakes!

80
00:04:36,652 --> 00:04:40,154
Bravo, little girl.
Great progress!

81
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:41,948
You deserve reward.

82
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:44,533
Here is your cat back,
good as new.

83
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,955
Oh, thank you.
Do you think
I'll pass gym this term?

84
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:52,541
Is no problem.
God give you greatest gift.

85
00:04:52,668 --> 00:04:55,419
Big head like beach ball
made of bone.

86
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,213
Gives you perfect balance.

87
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:01,968
Yeah! Excellent!
All right!

88
00:05:02,052 --> 00:05:06,222
See you tomorrow.
Rest your giant head.
I am Lugash.

89
00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:12,687
(GASPS) You're reading
Gravity's Rainbow?

90
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,063
Re-reading.

91
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:17,942
Sorry. What are you
guys talking about?
I was making fractals.

92
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,568
LISA: These girls
are brilliant.

93
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,904
I finally found kids
I can relate to.

94
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:25,950
You guys are so cool!
I can't believe I never
met you before!

95
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:28,077
Well, I'm Tina.
And this is Carrie.

96
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,328
Maybe we could
hang out together.

97
00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:31,038
Oh, I'd love to.

98
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:35,001
You girls were all great.
Cats back for everyone.

99
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:36,085
I had a dog.

100
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:37,169
Is cat now.

101
00:05:39,881 --> 00:05:41,132
Need a ride
back to campus?

102
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:42,758
(GULPS) Campus?

103
00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,349
You guys are
college students!

104
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:52,810
Yeah. But with our
small gymnast bodies,

105
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:55,104
everyone always thinks
we're way younger.

106
00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,064
Aren't you in college?

107
00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:02,445
Of course.
Where do you think I go?
Baby school?

108
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:04,030
(ALL CHUCKLING)

109
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,157
See you tomorrow, Lisa!

110
00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:08,909
We find out what
five minus three is!

111
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,745
Um...

112
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:13,873
I'm a teacher's aide
in a very special class.

113
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:15,458
No, Lisa. We're both in...

114
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,959
Go! Go! Go!

115
00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:19,879
Why do people
run from me?

116
00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:30,139
LISA: Wow.
I'm actually passing
as a college student.

117
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,476
And they don't
have a Blue's Clue.

118
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,519
Whoops. Gotta age it up.

119
00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:38,105
Life sucks.
Totally.

120
00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:39,190
Phew.

121
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,400
So what dorm
do you live in?

122
00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:43,694
Actually, I'm off campus.

123
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:47,698
I share a house
with a couple of girls,
a couple of guys.

124
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,367
Guys, huh?
Are they cute?

125
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,745
Well,
Bart's kind of... No!

126
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:57,333
HOMER: (SINGING)
I get knocked down
I get knocked down again

127
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,251
You are never
gonna knock me down!

128
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,003
Whoa! Party house.

129
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,882
HOMER: Hey,
where's my keg?

130
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,259
Mom's not gonna like that.

131
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,385
Who's Mom?

132
00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:11,931
That's what
we call the gay guy
who lives with us.

133
00:07:12,808 --> 00:07:14,225
Hey, you doing
anything tomorrow night?

134
00:07:14,309 --> 00:07:16,310
Robert Pinsky's
reading at Café Kafka.

135
00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:19,939
(GASPS) Robert Pinsky?
The former poet laureate?

136
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:22,775
It's gonna be great.
The three of us
can split a scone.

137
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:23,859
Non-dairy?

138
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,194
BOTH: Duh!

139
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,655
(SINGING)
I take a whiskey drink
I take a chocolate drink

140
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:30,241
And when I have to pee
I use the kitchen sink

141
00:07:30,325 --> 00:07:33,369
I sing the song
that reminds me
I'm a urinating guy!

142
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:34,745
I'll see you tomorrow!

143
00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:36,038
See you!

144
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,623
Splash! Splash! Splash!

145
00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:39,041
(DR. HIBBERT CHUCKLING)

146
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:42,461
Now you're sure you haven't
been to China?

147
00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:43,796
There's no shame in it.

148
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:44,964
No. I told you.

149
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,883
A mosquito came out
of my Laffy Meal
and bit me!

150
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,760
What's wrong
with him, Doctor?

151
00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:52,429
It can't be mange.
I just had him dipped.

152
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:55,975
Your son is exhibiting
classic symptoms
of panda virus.

153
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,726
Here. Take a look.

154
00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,395
(GASPS)

155
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,481
I knew it was serious
when he said he didn't
want ice cream.

156
00:08:02,566 --> 00:08:03,983
I did want ice cream.

157
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,484
Well, your father
ate it all!

158
00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:08,779
Now don't worry.
These pills will
take care of everything.

159
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:12,408
But for a week,
Bart will be highly
infectious to others.

160
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,659
(CHUCKLING)

161
00:08:13,743 --> 00:08:18,664
Contagious? Outrageous!
I got me some
teachers to lick.

162
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,124
(CHUCKLING)

163
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:23,002
Well,
I don't know about that.
But don't worry.

164
00:08:23,086 --> 00:08:25,296
While you're infectious,
you will lead

165
00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:28,674
a normal life full of
normal social interaction.

166
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:31,385
I don't like how many times
you said "normal."

167
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:33,179
You'll be living
in this bubble.

168
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:36,348
It's clear plastic
so the world can see
how normal you are.

169
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:37,433
(LAUGHING)

170
00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:40,144
(BART EXCLAIMING)

171
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,397
Help me!

172
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:48,235
You'll get
the hang of it, honey.
Today's just a little gusty.

173
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,362
Everyone's staring at me.

174
00:08:50,447 --> 00:08:51,614
Ha-ha!

175
00:08:51,698 --> 00:08:54,783
(SPEAKING SPANISH)

176
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,953
(PANTING) Ha-ha!

177
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,301
This place is amazing.

178
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:15,054
Kiosks,
outdoor study groups.

179
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:17,431
Lisa,
where have you been?

180
00:09:17,515 --> 00:09:18,807
In heaven.

181
00:09:20,101 --> 00:09:23,145
I love her.
She's a total free spirit.

182
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,564
She'd have to be
where she lives.

183
00:09:25,649 --> 00:09:27,983
That place had
a Manson Family vibe.

184
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:31,153
Yeah, well,
I live in a dorm
without a DSL line.

185
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,446
Freaky.

186
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:37,409
I think the soup's
a little hot.

187
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,374
Bart, don't slurp
your soup.

188
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:45,000
My bubble, my rules.

189
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:49,338
That's it, boy!
It's time for your bath!

190
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:56,595
Now go to bed.

191
00:09:58,181 --> 00:10:01,141
That is called parenting.
I'm going to Moe's.

192
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:11,360
Test. Test. Roses are red.
April is the cruelest month.

193
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,028
Cruelest month.

194
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,782
Now open your minds
for the Coltrane
of the quatrain,

195
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:19,618
the Tony Danza
of the A-B stanza.

196
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,288
I give you the former
poet laureate of

197
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:25,874
the United States,
Mr. Robert Pinsky.

198
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:26,959
(CROWD APPLAUDING)

199
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,336
Tonight I'll be reading
from a copy of my book

200
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:32,339
I just checked out
at Atherton Library!

201
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,882
I study there!

202
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,009
(PEOPLE CHEERING)

203
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:36,927
Say another building!

204
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:38,762
That's it, Pinsky.

205
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:41,265
You've got them
right where you want them.

206
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,851
"Slow dulcimer,
gavotte and bow in autumn"

207
00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:44,977
(GASPS)

208
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:47,688
He's reading
Impossible to Tell.

209
00:10:47,772 --> 00:10:50,316
"Basho and his friends
go out to view the moon

210
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:53,152
"In summer,
gasoline rainbow
in the gutter

211
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,946
"The secret courtesy
that courses like ichor

212
00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:59,366
"Through the old form of
the rude, full-scale joke"

213
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,578
LISA:
I'm in a coffee house
listening to poetry.

214
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:05,414
There's a cat on a table
and no one seems to care.

215
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:08,334
This is the single
greatest day of my life!

216
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:10,878
"Impossible to
tell in writing.

217
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:14,256
"Basho, he named himself,
'Banana tree."'

218
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:15,674
BOYS: Basho!

219
00:11:15,759 --> 00:11:17,176
Banana tree!

220
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:23,766
Good night, Bart.
Good night, Lisa.

221
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,851
Good night, Maggie.

222
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,061
(SNARLING)

223
00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:29,355
Cherish these moments,
Homer.

224
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:32,316
So I'm walking by
the Oval Office.

225
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,486
And I hear the President,
"Pinsky, where's my poem?"

226
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,404
Well, I thought it wasn't
due till Tuesday.

227
00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:42,034
So I make one up.
I am just pulling
stuff out of my ass.

228
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:44,453
And when I'm done,
the President says,

229
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:46,705
"Pinsky,
you've done it again."

230
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,123
Ka-ching!

231
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:52,544
LISA: (GASPS) Oh, my God!
My social studies project
is due tomorrow morning!

232
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:56,715
Did she put in
for the pizza?

233
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,344
Gotta finish.
Gotta finish.

234
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:02,679
Am I using too much glue?

235
00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:06,475
You won't eat our meat
but you glue with our feet.

236
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:07,559
(SHOUTS)

237
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,436
(LISA SNORING)

238
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:19,905
Well, it's still
the best thing
in this class.

239
00:12:24,494 --> 00:12:25,702
A-minus.

240
00:12:25,995 --> 00:12:27,037
(CHUCKLES SMUGLY)

241
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:30,374
Lisa Simpson,
master of the double life.

242
00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:37,840
You're like my mommy
after a box of wine.

243
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:41,427
Give me your lunch money!

244
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:43,011
But it's after lunch.

245
00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:44,638
It's just an expression.

246
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:48,475
Like "kick your
butt" could involve
no kicking whatsoever.

247
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,894
Never fear,
the sphere is here!

248
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:57,192
That's it, Simpson.
I'm gonna kick you
right in the ball.

249
00:13:02,407 --> 00:13:03,615
(LAUGHS)

250
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,453
When nerds are in trouble,
I am not slow.

251
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:10,247
It's spin, spin, spin,
and away I go!

252
00:13:10,373 --> 00:13:11,623
(ALL CHEERING)

253
00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:14,001
Once he's gone,
they'll kill us!

254
00:13:14,377 --> 00:13:16,879
(PINK PANTHER THEME PLAYING)

255
00:13:35,899 --> 00:13:38,317
That young adult
looks like Lisa.

256
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:41,487
That young adult is Lisa!

257
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,906
She's up to
something private!

258
00:13:44,199 --> 00:13:45,949
Let's go spy on her!

259
00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,159
(GROANING)

260
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,912
I'll get you down.
Bite these pencils.

261
00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:57,252
(BOTH GROANING)

262
00:13:57,879 --> 00:13:59,922
This is the life
we chose.

263
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,426
Huh? Where is everybody?

264
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:08,305
Anthro 101: Passive Analysis
of Visual Iconography.

265
00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:09,681
Everyone takes it.

266
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:12,935
All you do is watch
Itchy & Scratchy cartoons.

267
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:15,729
After her!

268
00:14:19,150 --> 00:14:21,193
I feel like
Harriet the spy.

269
00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:29,952
Now the classic
Itchy & Scratchy,
episode DAB-F06.

270
00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:31,912
"Butter Off Dead."

271
00:14:39,295 --> 00:14:41,588
Good morrow to thee,
neighbor.

272
00:15:12,704 --> 00:15:13,704
(MUMBLING)

273
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,416
PROFESSOR: Okay.
Freeze there.

274
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:20,586
So what does
this cartoon "mean"?

275
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:23,046
It shows how the depletion
of our natural resources

276
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:25,382
has pitted our small farmers
against each other.

277
00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:28,969
Yes.
And birds go "tweet."
What else?

278
00:15:31,014 --> 00:15:34,141
Hey, Mister!
Put the cartoon back on!

279
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:37,686
I'm sorry, boys.
We don't allow
children in this class.

280
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,398
What about Lisa?
She's only eight!

281
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:43,233
(STUDENTS MURMURING)

282
00:15:46,821 --> 00:15:48,780
Lisa, did you lie to us?

283
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,074
I just wanted to belong!

284
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:53,952
For once I felt I was
with intellectual equals.

285
00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:57,164
I can't believe
I cheated off
an eight-year-old.

286
00:15:57,248 --> 00:16:00,042
I guess we won't be
biking through Italy.

287
00:16:00,209 --> 00:16:01,460
(SOBBING)

288
00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,380
She's worse than
that 80-year-old

289
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,923
who pretended
to be a freshman.

290
00:16:07,008 --> 00:16:09,968
I just wanted
a place to sit down.

291
00:16:12,889 --> 00:16:16,558
What the...
You earned how many credits
without our permission?

292
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:18,685
Sixteen.
(GROANS)

293
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:21,396
College is no place
for a young girl,

294
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:26,610
with those quadrangles
and study carrels
and syllabi, and...

295
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:29,404
Doogie Howser
went to college
when he was my age.

296
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,156
Against my wishes!

297
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,492
But the atmosphere there
was so stimulating.

298
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:36,244
It was a bustling
marketplace of ideas.

299
00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,372
Oh.
And this kitchen isn't?

300
00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:39,498
Well...

301
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:42,334
I put those Cathys
on the fridge for you.

302
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:45,170
I don't even like them.
They've gotten so smutty.

303
00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:49,383
Sure. When a man
does it, it's smutty.
But if a woman did it...

304
00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:51,551
Homer,
Cathy is a woman.

305
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:53,095
Oh, come on...

306
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:56,139
You're right.

307
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:57,349
(SHUDDERS)

308
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:01,269
(SIGHS)

309
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,231
What are you guys doing?

310
00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:06,024
We're gonna
roll down the hill.

311
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,401
Can I come with you?

312
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:08,860
I don't know.

313
00:17:08,945 --> 00:17:11,905
Are you sure you're not
too "college" for us?

314
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:15,617
Yeah. Sorry we
can't be more "college!"

315
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,873
Hey, Einstein.
What's a million
plus a million?

316
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,625
Two million.
So?

317
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:28,213
Don't let them
get to you, lass.

318
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,507
I'm too good for
this place, too.

319
00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:32,342
Now run home
to your shack.

320
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:33,510
I live in a house.

321
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:36,638
Well, la-dee-da,
college girl!

322
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,558
Well, I guess you're
too good for me, too!

323
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:41,935
Oh, look at...

324
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:44,020
(HUMMING)

325
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:46,815
(GROANS)

326
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,154
What are you doing?

327
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,614
I was trying to throw
Bart over the roof

328
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:56,992
and he got stuck
in this tree.

329
00:17:59,454 --> 00:18:01,079
Marge,
where's my pellet gun?

330
00:18:01,164 --> 00:18:02,956
MARGE: In the tree!
Right.

331
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:06,835
(FIRES)
(SCREAMING)

332
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:10,255
Oh, no!
Not the good cheek!

333
00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:21,266
Poor, Bart.
I know just how you feel.

334
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,602
Isolated, alone,
cut off from everyone.

335
00:18:23,686 --> 00:18:24,686
Are you kidding?

336
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,063
This little baby has made me
more popular than ever.

337
00:18:27,148 --> 00:18:28,774
Hey, Bubble Bart!
Looking good.

338
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:29,858
Call me!

339
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:32,235
The bubble makes everything
shimmer and glow.

340
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,613
You can't believe
what that sunset
looks like to me.

341
00:18:34,697 --> 00:18:37,657
That's not a sunset.
That's a bird on fire.

342
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,452
To-may-to, to-mah-to.

343
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:42,829
I wish I had
someplace to
call my own.

344
00:18:42,914 --> 00:18:45,040
No one wants me
around anymore.

345
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:49,085
I know a way
you can win back
the kids at school.

346
00:18:49,170 --> 00:18:51,463
Really?
That's wonderful.
But how?

347
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:53,632
All you gotta do
is play a prank
on the principal.

348
00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:57,219
Well, I can't do it tomorrow.
There's an assembly
in his honor.

349
00:18:57,303 --> 00:18:58,303
(CHUCKLES)

350
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:01,389
We've got
a little planning to do.
Step into my office.

351
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,475
Ew! Bart!
It wasn't me.

352
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:08,688
In recognition
of your 20 years
as interim principal,

353
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:12,734
I hereby dedicate
the Seymour Skinner
parking annex.

354
00:19:17,907 --> 00:19:20,200
Did they have to guess
the date of my death?

355
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:23,078
Can't you be
a team player
just once?

356
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:26,957
(CLEARS THROAT) When I was
starting out, they said,

357
00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:30,085
"You're good.
But are you
'plaque' good?"

358
00:19:30,711 --> 00:19:34,631
Well, today I can say,
"Yes, I am."

359
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,885
Three, two, one...

360
00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:40,011
Thank you.

361
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:44,057
I will now take
pre-approved questions
from honor roll students.

362
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:48,979
Yeah, I got a question!
How dare you wear white?

363
00:19:49,063 --> 00:19:51,189
I hear
what you do at night.

364
00:19:51,274 --> 00:19:52,524
Security!

365
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:54,860
Get your hands off of me.
Why...

366
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,903
Martin Prince,
Daily Fourth Gradian.

367
00:19:56,988 --> 00:19:59,865
How about a picture of you
and the cake for
our society page?

368
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,783
Now normally
I wouldn't go near

369
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,035
a giant chocolate cake
in my dress polyester.

370
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:08,290
But with Bart Simpson
safely encapsulated,
I'd be delighted to pose.

371
00:20:18,134 --> 00:20:22,012
Look, up there! It's Lisa!
And she's winning us back!

372
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,652
(SHOUTS)

373
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,575
(CHILDREN CHEERING)

374
00:20:47,496 --> 00:20:50,749
I've been taken down a peg.
A whole peg!

375
00:20:51,042 --> 00:20:55,837
STUDENTS: Lisa, Lisa,
Lisa, Lisa, Lisa!

376
00:20:56,005 --> 00:20:57,130
Good going, Lise.

377
00:20:57,214 --> 00:21:00,216
And it sure is great
to be out of that bubble.

378
00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:03,678
It sure is sunny.
Was the air
always this fresh?

379
00:21:03,763 --> 00:21:06,348
I'm just gonna
hang out in this vent!

380
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:10,352
Does this thing
suck or blow?

381
00:21:10,853 --> 00:21:12,854
Suck!
(AIR WHOOSHING)

382
00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:02,821
ENGLISH - US - PSDH