﻿1
00:00:03,045 --> 00:00:04,692
CHORUS [SINGS]:
<i>The Simpsons</i>

2
00:00:05,130 --> 00:00:06,413
Bart vs. Lisa vs. The Third Grade

3
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:19,165
[BELL RINGING]

4
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:26,005
[WHISTLE BLOWING]

5
00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,844
[BEEPING]

6
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:42,907
[LISA PLAYS SOLO]

7
00:01:04,106 --> 00:01:05,931
D'oh! Ah!

8
00:01:21,832 --> 00:01:23,219
[GRUNTS]

9
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,491
<i>[TRIBAL MUSIC PLAYING]</i>

10
00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:37,035
MAN [ON TV]:
<i>Welcome back</i>

11
00:01:37,389 --> 00:01:38,849
<i>to </i>Animal Survivor.

12
00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:40,694
[MONKEY GIBBERING]

13
00:01:41,393 --> 00:01:43,332
Okay, tribes, it's been a rough week.

14
00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:46,075
Rhino,
you lost the tribe's fishing equipment.

15
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:47,962
[GROANS]

16
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:52,275
And we saw a dramatic collapse
in the lion-gazelle alliance.

17
00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:54,562
[ROARS]

18
00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:57,241
Oh, I hate reality shows.

19
00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:00,516
A year ago, you said they were the
greatest thing that ever happened to us.

20
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,883
I've grown. You haven't.

21
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,460
<i>And now we're back to</i>
Touch the Stove.

22
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:09,901
So, Kevin,
I hear you collect amusing postcards.

23
00:02:10,506 --> 00:02:12,372
Uh, yeah, it all started when...

24
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,854
HOST: Touch the stove.
- Aah!

25
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,991
I can't take any more of these shows.

26
00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:20,067
If I wanted reality,
I'd finally have this lump looked at.

27
00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:25,656
Networks love reality shows because
they don't have to pay writers or actors.

28
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:29,712
Stupid writers and actors, priced
yourselves right out of the business.

29
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,152
Nice going, geniuses.

30
00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:34,290
Let's get one of those satellite dishes.

31
00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:36,823
Then we can stop suckling
on the six-network teat.

32
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:40,953
Get back, honky cat.
Those systems are too expensive.

33
00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:43,632
Marge, we can't pinch pennies
on the machine...

34
00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:45,874
...that's going to be raising
our children.

35
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:51,098
Come on, kids. Daddy knows a way
to get some money with no risk.

36
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:53,976
[TRUMPET PLAYING
AND AUDIENCE CHEERING]

37
00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:57,177
ANNOUNCER:
<i>And the winner by a nose is No Risk.</i>

38
00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,221
Woo-hoo!

39
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:05,331
Okay. Now all we have to do
is install your satellite dish.

40
00:03:05,936 --> 00:03:07,948
Can you be home
from 8 a.m. Monday morning...

41
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,232
- ...through June?
- No problem.

42
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:16,405
Hey, Flanders,
check out my new satellite dish.

43
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:17,906
[WHISTLES]

44
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,033
Boy, that's jim-dandy roof candy.

45
00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:22,609
I'd love to come over
and watch that Church Channel.

46
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,466
- I bet you would.
- Oh, you'd win that bet.

47
00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:28,260
I'm spending all my money
on religious pay-per-view.

48
00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,836
Or as I like to call it, "pray-per-view."

49
00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:33,349
Damn your sparkling wordplay.

50
00:03:33,839 --> 00:03:35,267
And bless your humble home.

51
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:36,884
[GRUMBLES]

52
00:03:37,593 --> 00:03:40,116
Oh, it's red wire to red wire.

53
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:41,555
[SCOFFS]

54
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,713
What idiot dreamed that up?

55
00:03:44,308 --> 00:03:47,050
And the Lord said, "Let there be crap."

56
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,732
[BUZZING]

57
00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:56,778
[CHATTERING]

58
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:04,953
[CHATTERS]

59
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:10,146
- -and thereby reducing
the number of states to 49.

60
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,836
Cool. It's the NBC News feed.

61
00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,276
Mm, feed.

62
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,508
You get to see what they do
during breaks.

63
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:21,626
We'll be right back with a special report
on soccer moms who hate soccer.

64
00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:25,933
STAGEHAND: Clear.
- Oh, Lord, I'm so fat, aah.

65
00:04:26,642 --> 00:04:28,831
[VOMITING]

66
00:04:32,648 --> 00:04:35,536
Hey, Lis, wanna try some satellite TV?
We've got Japanese <i>Friends.</i>

67
00:04:36,151 --> 00:04:37,465
[INSTRUMENTAL FRIENDS THEME
PLAYING]

68
00:04:41,198 --> 00:04:42,439
Do you like my new shirt?

69
00:04:42,824 --> 00:04:46,776
It says, "Reggae Hairstyle Rock 'n' Roll."
Could I be more Japanese?

70
00:04:47,538 --> 00:04:49,884
You are the emperor of last year.

71
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,240
Your comeback shames me.

72
00:04:52,709 --> 00:04:53,731
How about The Clock Channel?

73
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,390
ANNOUNCER: <i>Coming up on
The Clock Channel: 6:00.</i>

74
00:04:56,922 --> 00:04:58,204
Wait a minute, I saw this one.

75
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:02,219
I have to study for the elementary school
achievement test, and so do you.

76
00:05:02,928 --> 00:05:04,867
Hey, I don't have to study
on the weekend.

77
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:06,661
It's Wednesday night.

78
00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:10,456
Kids, kids, you're both right.

79
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,427
- Mm.
LISA: Oh.

80
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:15,555
MAN [ON TV]: <i>We're back with </i>Who
Wants to Marry an Internet Billionaire?

81
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,788
<i>Uh, no, millionaire.</i>
<i>Oh, well, now he's broke.</i>

82
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:28,068
[BOTH GROANING]

83
00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:32,134
Why don't you turn off the TV
and join us for dessert?

84
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,512
I made a pie.

85
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,388
Put pie here.

86
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,693
[SIGHS]

87
00:05:40,424 --> 00:05:42,103
Would you like some ice cream
with that?

88
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:43,865
Me not pig.

89
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:49,547
MAN [ON TV]:
<i>We now return to </i>Robo Trouble.

90
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:52,363
<i>Oh, I'm sorry. I mean, </i>Robot Rumble.

91
00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:55,168
[GRUNTING]

92
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,410
[IN ROBOTIC VOICE]
Why are we fighting each other?

93
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:01,643
Together we can defeat the humans
and rule the Earth.

94
00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:04,615
[IN ROBOTIC VOICE]
I agree.

95
00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:07,096
[ALL GASP]

96
00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:08,619
[SCREAMS]

97
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,443
<i>Sucker.</i>

98
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:12,904
[LAUGHS]

99
00:06:13,290 --> 00:06:16,366
Homicidal robots. So like us.

100
00:06:17,002 --> 00:06:17,878
[SNORING]

101
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:22,153
Bart, the test is in two hours
and you haven't slept in a fortnight.

102
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:25,438
- What's a fortnight?
- You should know. It's on the test.

103
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,045
[GRUNTS]

104
00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:31,798
KRABAPPEL:
No pressure, children.

105
00:06:32,184 --> 00:06:35,739
These test results will follow you for the
rest of your life and beyond the grave.

106
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,193
BART: <i>This test is boring.
What else is on?</i>

107
00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:51,130
[VOMITING]

108
00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:56,708
[CHUCKLES]

109
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,539
It's finally happened, Bart.

110
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,240
You've lost your mind.

111
00:07:11,223 --> 00:07:14,330
[ALL SINGING "HAVA NAGILA"]

112
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:28,146
[LAUGHS]

113
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:30,346
SKINNER:
Now, let's raise the roof...

114
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:33,933
...for the bland informative rap
of M.C. Safety and the Caution Crew.

115
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,884
Yo, yo, yo, y'all feeling cautious?

116
00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:38,990
[RAPPING]
<i>I say a crosswalk, a cross-ity walk</i>

117
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,284
<i>And don't stop crossing</i>
<i>Till you're on the next block</i>

118
00:07:41,753 --> 00:07:43,620
<i>First you look both ways</i>
<i>Then you walk not run</i>

119
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,508
<i>Obeying safety rules is acceptable
fun</i> <i>Break it down now</i>

120
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:49,615
<i>Just walk, don't run</i>
<i>Drink juice, yum-yum</i>

121
00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:52,535
[LAUGHS]

122
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:53,984
Watch out, Beatles.

123
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:56,695
I have one more important
announcement to share with you.

124
00:07:57,227 --> 00:07:59,094
Would Lisa Simpson join me on stage?

125
00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:00,585
Oh?

126
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:04,568
Lisa, because of your outstanding score
on yesterday's big test...

127
00:08:05,277 --> 00:08:08,238
...you're being immediately moved up
to the third grade.

128
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:11,356
[CROWD CHEERING]

129
00:08:11,909 --> 00:08:12,857
She's not so great.

130
00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:15,506
She got diarrhea when we went
to Carlsbad Caverns.

131
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:17,831
[ALL LAUGHING]

132
00:08:18,332 --> 00:08:20,125
[SHOUTS]

133
00:08:21,251 --> 00:08:22,127
Okay, Bart...

134
00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:25,391
...since you like attention so much,
I have a second announcement.

135
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,059
[CHATTERING]

136
00:08:27,466 --> 00:08:29,186
I was going to tell you this privately...

137
00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:31,939
...but because of your incredibly low
test score...

138
00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:34,775
...we're sending you back to third grade.

139
00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:37,319
[ALL LAUGHING]

140
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,426
Huh?

141
00:08:39,895 --> 00:08:42,126
What?
I gotta be in the same class as her?

142
00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:45,098
What?
I gotta be in the same class as him?

143
00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:50,551
Hmm? They're gonna be
in the same class as each other?

144
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:52,407
[GASPS]

145
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,826
An old Army buddy is
visiting <i>Mannix?</i>

146
00:08:57,496 --> 00:09:01,448
Class, meet our newest third graders,
Lisa and Bart Simpson.

147
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:04,951
Lisa comes to us from Miss Hoover...

148
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:08,841
...while Bart was taught
by Mrs. Krabappel. Slut.

149
00:09:09,508 --> 00:09:11,520
[IN UNISON]
Hi, Bart and Lisa.

150
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:17,213
A rooster sits on a roof facing north.
It lays an egg. Which way does it roll?

151
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,070
Okay, the sun rises in the east...

152
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:23,230
...so the rooster would probably
wanna lay it on the cool side...

153
00:09:23,814 --> 00:09:26,191
Roosters don't lay eggs. They're boys.

154
00:09:26,733 --> 00:09:28,454
- Very good, Bart.
- Mm-hm.

155
00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:33,084
Lisa, I want you to stick close
to your big brother until you catch up.

156
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:38,203
[SIGHS]

157
00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:40,289
[NELSON CHUCKLES]

158
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,885
Young man, you're not in this class.

159
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,596
- What are you doing here?
- Laughing at jerks.

160
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,938
Quiet nerds burp only near school.

161
00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:56,211
Bart, I'm doing
my geography homework.

162
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:59,391
That's how you remember
the four original provinces of Canada.

163
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:02,467
"Quebec, New Brunswick,
Ontario, Nova Scotia."

164
00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:04,813
Quiet nerds burp only near school.

165
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,243
Here's how you remember
their principle exports:

166
00:10:07,733 --> 00:10:09,411
Dogs eat barf solely on Wednesday,
Mabel.

167
00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:12,310
Stop. I wanna learn on my own.

168
00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:14,615
[VENT OPENS]

169
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:15,897
Canada's governors general:

170
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:18,765
Clowns love haircuts,
so should Lee Marvin's valet.

171
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:21,194
Get out!

172
00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:26,220
Here are your math tests.
Morgan, Dakota, Ashley...

173
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,954
...Dakota, Tyler, Tyler, Lisa.

174
00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:33,540
What's this weird mark next to my A?

175
00:10:34,009 --> 00:10:34,958
That's an A-minus.

176
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,657
Mm, minus?

177
00:10:37,054 --> 00:10:38,107
Nice work, Bart.

178
00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:40,557
An A? Copacetic.

179
00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:42,559
You did better than me?

180
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,427
Eh, I took this test last year.
The answer key never changes.

181
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:49,535
B-C-B-C-A-A-B-B-C-C-D. False. False.
True. William Jennings Bryan.

182
00:10:50,234 --> 00:10:52,350
That's cheating. Bart cheated.

183
00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:56,302
Young lady, in the third grade,
we don't care for tattletales.

184
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,158
[GROANS]

185
00:10:58,534 --> 00:11:00,066
And we don't care for moaners either.

186
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:01,995
[SOBS]

187
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:05,050
Sobbing only pushes
Bart's grade higher.

188
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,241
[SOBS]

189
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,389
OTTO:
Pukers in back.

190
00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:13,726
Kids, look what I got you
for your third-grade field trip.

191
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,426
Matching fanny packs.

192
00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:18,314
Now your fannies match.

193
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:19,930
[BOTH GROANING]

194
00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:21,212
[GRUNTS]

195
00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:23,600
- Hey, get away from me. Get...
- Get away.

196
00:11:24,101 --> 00:11:25,967
- Quit it.
- Stop it. Let go.

197
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:28,960
Stop. You'll crush your juice boxes.

198
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,202
BOTH:
Oh.

199
00:11:32,526 --> 00:11:35,383
[BOTH GRUNTING]

200
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:38,594
All right, everybody choose a buddy
for the field trip.

201
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,982
- I'll take Kyle.
- I'll take Ashley.

202
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:44,413
Saying your buddy's name out loud
is a security risk.

203
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,343
I'll just put you two together.

204
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:49,199
BOTH:
Oh.

205
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:50,982
<i>[TONY BENNETT'S "CAPITAL CITY"</i>
<i>PLAYING]</i>

206
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:56,143
<i>There's a swingin' town I know</i>
<i>Called Capital City</i>

207
00:11:58,135 --> 00:11:59,814
- Punch buggy red, unh.
- Ow.

208
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:01,722
You are such an immature...

209
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:04,037
- Punch buggy white, unh.
- Ow.

210
00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:05,903
- Stop fighting.
- He started it.

211
00:12:06,310 --> 00:12:07,696
He did punch buggy first.

212
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,156
What's punch buggy?

213
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:12,378
When you see a Volkswagen Bug,
you punch somebody and yell the color.

214
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:13,859
[CHATTERING]

215
00:12:14,193 --> 00:12:15,506
[ALL GASPING]

216
00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,769
BOY 1: Punch buggy blue.
BOY 2: Ow.

217
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,364
GIRL 1: Punch buggy green.
BOY 3: Oh.

218
00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:21,095
BOY 4: Punch buggy taupe.
BOY 5: Ow.

219
00:12:21,491 --> 00:12:22,774
Oh, that really hurt.

220
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:24,286
[THUDDING]

221
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:25,537
OTTO:
Two for flinching.

222
00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:26,966
[THUDS]

223
00:12:27,331 --> 00:12:30,845
[ALL WHIMPERING]

224
00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:34,473
Now, as we cross the street, I want you
to hold hands with your buddy.

225
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,955
[BOTH GROANING]

226
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:43,013
Hey, dude, who's your girlfriend?

227
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:44,681
[ALL LAUGHING]

228
00:12:45,057 --> 00:12:46,298
Did you see his face?

229
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:51,386
Well, what happened, dude?
Did your girlfriend dump you?

230
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:55,046
[ALL LAUGHING]

231
00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:57,236
[BOTH GROANING]

232
00:12:57,694 --> 00:13:00,113
Now, children, if you look up
at the capitol dome...

233
00:13:00,656 --> 00:13:03,909
...you'll see a mural of our state bird,
the pot-bellied sparrow...

234
00:13:04,576 --> 00:13:06,255
...eating our state pasta, bowtie.

235
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:07,829
[CHILDREN GROANING]

236
00:13:08,539 --> 00:13:10,290
MAN:
Order, order, order.

237
00:13:11,583 --> 00:13:14,440
The chair recognizes the esteemed
representative from Capital City.

238
00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:17,871
BART:
The Capital City Goofball?

239
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:21,489
That's right. To win, he spent 80 million
from his own pocket.

240
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:25,316
GOOFBALL: Mr. Speaker, the time
has come to redesign our state flag.

241
00:13:25,973 --> 00:13:27,943
This Confederate symbol
is an embarrassment...

242
00:13:28,433 --> 00:13:31,030
...particularly as we are
a northern state.

243
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:32,510
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

244
00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:34,982
This lively debate
has given me an idea.

245
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:39,288
Tonight, each buddy team
is going to design a new state flag.

246
00:13:40,028 --> 00:13:42,844
Homework on a field trip?
What have you been huffing?

247
00:13:45,075 --> 00:13:47,525
Well, Bart's being his usual jerky self.

248
00:13:48,078 --> 00:13:50,789
But, Mom, I'm really excited
about this new flag design.

249
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:54,522
Oh, and the hotel gives you
a free <i>USA Today </i>outside your room.

250
00:13:55,169 --> 00:13:56,701
No, I'm sure it's free.

251
00:13:57,129 --> 00:13:58,443
Okay, I won't touch it.

252
00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:00,194
Well, make sure you don't.

253
00:14:00,591 --> 00:14:03,479
And try not to let your brother
get under your skin, honey.

254
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:07,170
Believe me, he doesn't.
His act is getting old fast.

255
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:09,381
He thinks he's really cool.

256
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:14,792
<i>But frankly, the other kids are starting</i>
<i>to wake up and smell the cooties.</i>

257
00:14:15,731 --> 00:14:18,296
One last sunbeam and we're done.

258
00:14:18,859 --> 00:14:20,506
"To fraternal love."

259
00:14:20,944 --> 00:14:24,125
When I get through with that flag,
it's gonna be a Bart-mangled banner.

260
00:14:26,783 --> 00:14:30,339
So I understand you children
have some state flags for me.

261
00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:33,342
- Who would like to go first?
- We would, Governor Bailey.

262
00:14:33,874 --> 00:14:36,220
- Team Simpson.
- I spearheaded this one.

263
00:14:36,752 --> 00:14:39,275
I'll just unfurl this.

264
00:14:39,838 --> 00:14:41,267
[SCREAMING]

265
00:14:45,135 --> 00:14:46,261
[GASPS]

266
00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:48,868
That was my worst unfurling ever.

267
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,986
Lisa, how could you?
The governor is crying.

268
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:54,384
[SOBBING]

269
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,542
Oh.

270
00:14:56,980 --> 00:14:59,097
[NELSON LAUGHS]

271
00:14:59,650 --> 00:15:01,912
You weren't on this field trip.
How did you get here?

272
00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:03,393
Biked.

273
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,212
Bart, I am so mad at you.

274
00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:13,559
Ha-ha-ha. You should've seen the look
on your face. It was like this:

275
00:15:14,498 --> 00:15:15,885
[BART LAUGHS]

276
00:15:16,291 --> 00:15:17,939
[GROWLS]

277
00:15:18,919 --> 00:15:20,420
[GRUNTING]

278
00:15:23,549 --> 00:15:26,479
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

279
00:15:27,135 --> 00:15:29,398
[BOTH GRUNTING]

280
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:30,806
[BUS HORN HONKS]

281
00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:33,809
- Huh?
- Oh, the bus.

282
00:15:34,434 --> 00:15:35,310
[CHATTERING]

283
00:15:35,644 --> 00:15:37,072
Okay, children, before we leave...

284
00:15:37,479 --> 00:15:39,711
- ...is anyone missing their buddy?
- No.

285
00:15:40,232 --> 00:15:42,901
Ah, the buddy system, foolproof.

286
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:45,310
Floor it, Otto.

287
00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:50,784
LISA:
Wait! Wait!

288
00:15:51,201 --> 00:15:52,077
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY]

289
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:56,592
- Ha, ha, they left without you.
- They left without you too, you idiot.

290
00:15:57,374 --> 00:16:00,231
If I'm an idiot, how come
I'm the smartest kid in the third grade?

291
00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:02,807
Because you've already done it once.

292
00:16:04,089 --> 00:16:06,873
- You've lost me.
- Oh, forget it.

293
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:10,033
- Hey, how do we get back?
- No problem.

294
00:16:10,596 --> 00:16:13,630
We'll just circle around like those kids
in <i>The Blair Witch Project.</i>

295
00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:19,719
I must be getting close.
I recognize that girl.

296
00:16:23,859 --> 00:16:27,154
- Oh, Bart, I think we're lost.
- I used to be lost.

297
00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:31,262
Until a friend turned me onto a book.
A book that changed my life.

298
00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:33,702
It's called, <i>Lisa is Stupid.</i>

299
00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:36,976
- You die now.
- Aah? Whoa.

300
00:16:37,623 --> 00:16:39,155
Hey!

301
00:16:39,625 --> 00:16:40,834
[BART CHUCKLES]

302
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:42,461
[McCONNELL SOBBING]

303
00:16:43,504 --> 00:16:45,735
They're gone.
I don't know what happened.

304
00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:49,728
If the buddy system can fail,
I don't know what to believe in.

305
00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:53,128
There, there, Audrey.
It's happened to all of us.

306
00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:56,026
Willie, we have two more names
for the wall.

307
00:16:58,185 --> 00:16:59,238
[WEEPS]

308
00:16:59,645 --> 00:17:03,117
Why is it always the kids
with the long names?

309
00:17:10,364 --> 00:17:11,865
[DOORBELL RINGS]

310
00:17:12,282 --> 00:17:15,066
- Hello, Principal Skinner.
- A parent who waives the right to sue...

311
00:17:15,661 --> 00:17:16,756
- ...says what?
- What?

312
00:17:17,371 --> 00:17:19,091
- Got it.
- Hey, you can't fool us.

313
00:17:19,540 --> 00:17:20,968
We're from the Learn to Fart state.

314
00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:22,324
[SIGHS]

315
00:17:22,668 --> 00:17:25,775
Bart and Lisa are lost in Capital City
and presumed crying.

316
00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:28,726
Huh! My poor babies.

317
00:17:29,258 --> 00:17:32,146
I'm so sorry.
Lisa's a very special little girl.

318
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:35,284
And we'll spare no expense
in finding her.

319
00:17:35,848 --> 00:17:37,568
- What about Bart?
- We're looking.

320
00:17:38,016 --> 00:17:40,727
But in the meantime, the class clown
pro tem will take his place.

321
00:17:41,311 --> 00:17:42,959
Cowabunga.

322
00:17:45,774 --> 00:17:47,349
[LISA SHUDDERING]

323
00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:50,904
- You cold?
- What do you care?

324
00:17:53,991 --> 00:17:55,200
- Here.
- Thanks.

325
00:17:55,576 --> 00:17:57,296
Where'd you get...? Oh.

326
00:17:57,953 --> 00:18:01,394
Bart, you're my big brother.
You should act like it more often.

327
00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:04,939
You know, protect me
from the bad things in the world.

328
00:18:06,128 --> 00:18:09,423
Well, as far as nerdy little sisters go,
you're the coolest.

329
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,947
- Thanks, Bart.
- And I'm sorry I sabotaged your flag.

330
00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:15,304
I'm sorry I got us lost out here.

331
00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,724
Oh, and I'm sorry I sawed the heads off
your Malibu Stacy dolls.

332
00:18:19,349 --> 00:18:21,612
- Okay, you go.
- I don't think I've done anything else.

333
00:18:22,144 --> 00:18:25,220
Okay, I'll go again. Remember when
your bike was mangled by "gypsies"?

334
00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:27,900
- Yes.
- Yeah, funny story.

335
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,756
One day, I was really bored...

336
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:32,863
...and Dad had left a steamroller
idling in the driveway...

337
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:35,324
This is where the kids were last seen.

338
00:18:35,741 --> 00:18:39,067
Aah! The plastic casing
from the tip of Bart's shoelace.

339
00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:42,049
A mother knows.

340
00:18:42,456 --> 00:18:45,094
Well, he's not gonna get very far
without that.

341
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:48,451
- Bart, is that you?
MAN: No.

342
00:18:52,799 --> 00:18:53,675
[GUNS COCK]

343
00:18:54,009 --> 00:18:54,958
[BOTH GASP]

344
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,178
Say your prayers.

345
00:18:56,512 --> 00:18:58,524
Oh, Lord, please strike
these mountain folk dead.

346
00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:00,839
Bart. Listen, we're really sorry.

347
00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,612
We got lost on a field trip
from Springfield Elementary.

348
00:19:04,144 --> 00:19:07,293
Lost on a field trip?
Heck, why didn't you say so?

349
00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:10,390
That's how Grandpappy
wound up in these parts.

350
00:19:10,943 --> 00:19:14,863
They was taking us to Capital City
to see <i>The Nutcracker.</i>

351
00:19:15,614 --> 00:19:17,626
And I wandered away from the group...

352
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:20,932
...married a bear
and I started up my family.

353
00:19:21,537 --> 00:19:23,142
I told you, I ain't a bear.

354
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:24,456
[CHUCKLES]

355
00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:25,999
Roar, roar, roar.

356
00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:28,387
No one understands you, She-Bear.

357
00:19:28,877 --> 00:19:30,233
[LAUGHS]

358
00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:36,228
- Thanks for driving us back to town.
- No problem.

359
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:39,356
We were going there anyway
to pick up the new <i>Spy </i>magazine.

360
00:19:39,930 --> 00:19:42,120
I'm sorry,
they don't publish that anymore.

361
00:19:42,641 --> 00:19:45,967
The world I grewed up in is gone.

362
00:19:46,645 --> 00:19:48,762
[MARGE GROANING]

363
00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:51,108
Oh, my special little guys.

364
00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:54,528
You're okay. You're okay.

365
00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:57,750
And, Maggie, you no longer
have to live with the burden...

366
00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:01,253
...of replacing Bart and Lisa.

367
00:20:03,579 --> 00:20:05,257
If this episode
has taught us anything...

368
00:20:05,706 --> 00:20:07,791
...it's that nothing works better
than the status quo.

369
00:20:08,292 --> 00:20:10,888
- You're back to the fourth grade.
- Yay!

370
00:20:11,503 --> 00:20:12,786
And, Lisa, you have a choice.

371
00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:15,288
You may continue
to be challenged in third grade...

372
00:20:15,799 --> 00:20:18,687
...or return to second grade
and be merely a big fish in a small pond.

373
00:20:19,303 --> 00:20:20,324
Big fish. Big fish.

374
00:20:20,679 --> 00:20:21,774
[ALL GROANING]

375
00:20:22,181 --> 00:20:24,224
The status quo.

376
00:20:24,725 --> 00:20:28,280
The status quo? <i>Ay caramba.</i>

377
00:20:28,979 --> 00:20:30,731
That's just sad.

378
00:21:18,612 --> 00:21:20,040
WOMAN:
Shh.

379
00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:25,994
[English - US -SDH]

