﻿1
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:05,870
CHORUS [SINGS]:
<i>The Simpsons</i>

2
00:00:06,507 --> 00:00:08,446
Large Marge

3
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:11,032
D'oh! Ah!

4
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:16,725
HOMER:
Woo-hoo!

5
00:00:26,610 --> 00:00:30,416
NARRATOR [ON TV]: <i>November, 1948.</i>
<i>Americans picked their president.</i>

6
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:33,763
<i>Victory seemed certain</i>
<i>for Governor Thomas E. Dewey.</i>

7
00:00:34,326 --> 00:00:36,224
<i>Dewey, Dewey, Dewey.</i>

8
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,205
Dad, I'm telling you, Truman wins.

9
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,926
NARRATOR: <i>Headlines proclaim:</i>
<i>"Dewey Defeats Truman."</i>

10
00:00:41,458 --> 00:00:43,836
Woo-hoo! I win the bet.
Who's your daddy?

11
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:46,390
NARRATOR:
<i>But the headlines are dead wrong.</i>

12
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:47,860
[GASPS]

13
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:50,342
<i>Harry Truman triumphs</i>
<i>by 2 million votes.</i>

14
00:00:50,843 --> 00:00:52,709
Not if I can stop that inauguration.

15
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:56,880
I win, Dad. That means I get to choose
today's father-daughter activity.

16
00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:58,548
Let's hear it.

17
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,321
We're building homes
for the homeless.

18
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:01,645
[GASPS]

19
00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,690
You know it's gonna be bad,
but you just can't prepare yourself.

20
00:01:05,816 --> 00:01:09,038
"Domiciles for the Destitute"?
Is this that thing Jimmy Carter does?

21
00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:12,406
Yes. But now that it's hip,
all the ex-presidents are doing it.

22
00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,272
There's Clinton, Bush Senior...

23
00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:17,369
...and the nice guy who finished last,
Jimmy himself.

24
00:01:17,953 --> 00:01:20,372
[HUMMING]

25
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:22,666
Hey! Why you...

26
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:25,982
- I'm sorry, George. I didn't see you there.
- No hard feelings.

27
00:01:26,587 --> 00:01:27,796
I'll slaughter you, you lamebrain.

28
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:29,089
[GROANS]

29
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:30,299
[CHUCKLES]

30
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,530
- What are you laughing at, Clinton?
- Ow.

31
00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:34,396
[GRUNTS]

32
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,836
[GRUMBLES]

33
00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:42,123
[HUMMING]

34
00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:43,708
Dad, what is that?

35
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:47,097
Well, if Bart can be El Barto...

36
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:51,966
Oh, if only I had your courage, señor.

37
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:53,405
Ha, ha, thanks.

38
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:55,532
[YELPS THEN MUTTERS]

39
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:58,003
Dad, you're getting paint
on your wedding ring.

40
00:01:58,493 --> 00:02:00,464
Huh? Oh, right. Can you hold it?

41
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:04,948
This is a Band-Aid wrapped in tinfoil.

42
00:02:05,501 --> 00:02:08,389
My real ring's inside a turtle.

43
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:13,446
- Are you sure we'll find husbands here?
- Absolutely.

44
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:17,346
These volunteer events are crawling with
the successful single men we deserve.

45
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:19,838
And how. Let's see what we've got.

46
00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:23,539
NAEGLE:
Well, he's not much to look at.

47
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,604
But he is a good father.

48
00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:29,577
Hello. Wedding-ring tan line.
He's new on the market.

49
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:31,297
Hmm.

50
00:02:31,652 --> 00:02:33,883
- Can I help you?
- Maybe. I'm Lindsay Naegle.

51
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:36,823
And I don't wanna spend
another fiscal year alone. Unh!

52
00:02:37,366 --> 00:02:40,254
Cookie Kwan, realtor.
Number one on the west side.

53
00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:43,580
I could move you
into a beautiful new home. Mine.

54
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,948
- Sign here, kiss me here, initial there.
- What the...?

55
00:02:47,543 --> 00:02:49,628
ANNOUNCER [ON RADIO]:
<i>You're listening to Radio Disney.</i>

56
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:52,621
<i>The songs you love</i>
<i>rewritten for babies.</i>

57
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,602
BAHA MEN [SINGING]:
<i>Who left the milk out?</i>

58
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,218
[SINGING]
<i>Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck</i>

59
00:02:56,593 --> 00:03:00,222
<i>Dad left the milk out</i>
<i>Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck</i>

60
00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:04,080
That's good satire.
It doesn't hurt anyone.

61
00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:05,634
What do you think, Maggie?

62
00:03:05,978 --> 00:03:07,333
BAHA MEN:
<i>Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck</i>

63
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,085
Oh, look, there's your father?

64
00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:10,795
[GRUNTING]

65
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,109
[GASPS]

66
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:14,830
[GRUNTING THEN LADIES GROAN]

67
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:16,280
[GASPS]

68
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:21,410
Well, I've read enough articles
about flirting to know it when I see it.

69
00:03:24,371 --> 00:03:27,958
[GRUNTING THEN
BREATHING HEAVILY]

70
00:03:28,667 --> 00:03:32,296
And that's how my beautiful wife
brought our son Bart into the world.

71
00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:34,100
- Aw.
- Touching.

72
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:35,340
BUSH:
You knucklehead.

73
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:38,197
- A little help.
- I'll give you a little help.

74
00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:42,420
[GROANING]

75
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:49,115
Uh, Homie, are you as attracted to me
as you were when we met?

76
00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:50,908
Sure, why not?

77
00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:54,307
Sometimes I worry
you might think about other women.

78
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:58,311
Hey, why would I want Purina
when I got Fancy Feast right here?

79
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:01,033
That doesn't sound very convincing.

80
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:05,266
Aw. It sounds like all you're looking for
is a little reassurance.

81
00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:06,872
Well...

82
00:04:07,206 --> 00:04:09,437
[SNORING]

83
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:13,191
[SQUEALS]

84
00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:18,154
Bart, remember when I was crying
at recess?

85
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:21,470
I think I'm finally ready
to tell you why.

86
00:04:22,054 --> 00:04:23,076
Let's see what's on TV.

87
00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:26,517
MAN [ON TV]: <i>I stick my neck out</i>
<i>for no one, Frankenstein, no one.</i>

88
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,081
[FRANKENSTEIN GROWLS ON TV]

89
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,625
[BATMAN THEME PLAYS ON TV]

90
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,690
Oh, cool, the old <i>Batman </i>show.

91
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:38,403
Struggling in vain.

92
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,228
Gather your wits, old chum.

93
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:44,086
We seem to have fallen prey
to that painted Pagliacci of perfidy.

94
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,099
You mean, Clownface?

95
00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:48,069
None other.

96
00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:50,176
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

97
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:53,950
Well, if it isn't Bat-mensch
and the Goy Wonder.

98
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,275
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

99
00:04:56,755 --> 00:05:00,311
Sweet Valley High!
Krusty played a Batman villain?

100
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,720
Well, sure. He was also
Uncle Velderschmoink on <i>Bewitched.</i>

101
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:08,955
Clownface, what in the name of Huntley
and Brinkley do you plan to do to us?

102
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,521
I'm just gonna take you for a spin.

103
00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:16,952
Hoo, Ha, Hee,
show our guests to the twirly gates.

104
00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:19,705
[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

105
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,402
Holy g-force, Batman.
The blood's rushing to my head.

106
00:05:30,038 --> 00:05:31,394
That's right, my panicky chum.

107
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:36,555
In a few moments, you and I
will literally blush ourselves to death.

108
00:05:37,421 --> 00:05:39,537
KRUSTY:
Oh, my, this is taking a long time.

109
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,946
Oh, cool. We should try that at school.

110
00:05:42,426 --> 00:05:45,867
Hey, yeah. You can try it on me.
Batman got out of it okay.

111
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:49,954
Faith and begorra, Batman.
How did you ever escape?

112
00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:54,594
Fortunately, I always carry
my Carousel Reversal Spray.

113
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,399
Oh, what don't you have in that belt?

114
00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:00,788
Patience for harlequined hoodlums
like yourself.

115
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:04,145
Truer words were never spoken,
crusader.

116
00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:08,963
Manjula,
remember when Apu cheated on you?

117
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:10,516
Yes, thank you.

118
00:06:10,871 --> 00:06:12,956
I'm worried
Homer might do the same thing.

119
00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:15,949
What would make a husband
lose interest like that?

120
00:06:16,502 --> 00:06:18,514
What I do now
I do as your dearest friend.

121
00:06:19,004 --> 00:06:21,121
Look at this flab. Look at it.

122
00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:22,966
Oh, my God. Is that me?

123
00:06:22,966 --> 00:06:23,185
Oh, my God. Is that me?

124
00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:24,666
Most assuredly, yes.

125
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,940
Faced with a problem like this,
I wonder, what would Oprah do?

126
00:06:32,684 --> 00:06:35,208
I need to fit into this
in time for a funeral. Thank you.

127
00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,887
Uh, I need some liposuction.

128
00:06:38,357 --> 00:06:41,141
Just enough to make me attractive
to this man.

129
00:06:42,653 --> 00:06:45,322
One 10-minute suck and tuck.

130
00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:51,130
Doctor, before we begin,
I have a couple questions.

131
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,205
Time is money. Ask the mask.

132
00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:56,729
What if I just do aerobics, hmm...?

133
00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:00,024
[GROANS]

134
00:07:00,379 --> 00:07:04,737
Hmm, that's funny.
Hmm. I don't feel sucked out.

135
00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:07,740
Doctor, my assistant is as flat as ever.

136
00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:10,754
Where are the new knockers
the taxpayers paid for?

137
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:13,903
Hmm, you're right.
That's like flatsville.

138
00:07:14,476 --> 00:07:16,009
Then where did I put those implants?

139
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,531
[SCREAMS]

140
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:18,876
What on earth have you done?

141
00:07:19,231 --> 00:07:21,421
My maguppies became bazongas.

142
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:24,538
Great Ceausescu's ghost!
Are those real?

143
00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:26,207
Oh. Oh, right.

144
00:07:28,156 --> 00:07:32,953
Accidentally giving me breast implants
is not a simple misunderstanding.

145
00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:35,403
My surgery was botched.

146
00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,948
"Botched."
What is that, the word of the day?

147
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:41,461
You had no right
to make my bosom this ample.

148
00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:45,236
Look, just come back in 48 hours,
I can remove the implants.

149
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:46,904
Oh, I'll come back all right.

150
00:07:47,259 --> 00:07:50,293
And I'll bring my husband
to do a little malpractice on you.

151
00:07:50,929 --> 00:07:53,526
Yes, your husband.
I'm sure he's going to be furious.

152
00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:56,549
[GRUNTING]

153
00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,970
I'm a little worried
about the spinning, Bart.

154
00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,493
If you're uncomfortable with this
in any way...

155
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,725
- Do it, Otto. Do it. Do it. Do it.
- You're the boss, kid.

156
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,852
[TIRES SQUEAL]

157
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,531
[MILHOUSE SCREAMING]

158
00:08:11,617 --> 00:08:13,410
My change purse!

159
00:08:13,869 --> 00:08:15,370
[CONTINUES SCREAMING]

160
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,052
Hi, Milhouse.

161
00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:24,046
Skinner, I was a little wary...

162
00:08:24,463 --> 00:08:27,862
...of bringing these veterans of Iwo Jima
to tour your school...

163
00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:31,261
- ...but I see my fears were unfounded.
- Thank you, sir.

164
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:36,496
And what more fitting finale
than to gaze reverently at Old Glory?

165
00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:39,624
[ALL GASPING]

166
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,480
Come on, boys. You know the drill.

167
00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,380
[ALL GRUNT]

168
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,507
[ALL GROANING]

169
00:08:47,945 --> 00:08:49,258
[GRUNTING]

170
00:08:54,785 --> 00:08:58,038
My God!
This youngster befouled the flag!

171
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,092
Wait, this just doesn't add up.

172
00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:02,689
Milhouse has never been anything
but a comic foil.

173
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:04,962
Hey, what's going on here?
Something crazy?

174
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,944
There's your queen bee.
Explain yourself, Simpson.

175
00:09:08,507 --> 00:09:09,894
Uh, I saw Krusty do it on TV.

176
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:12,167
Then Krusty will feel my wrath.

177
00:09:12,636 --> 00:09:14,064
The spritz has hit the fan.

178
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:17,182
You won't hurt Krusty, will you?
He's all we got.

179
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:20,216
- Shut your puke hole, punk.
- Sir. Yes, sir.

180
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:24,669
[GRUNTS]

181
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:26,483
[GRUMBLES]

182
00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:28,475
[GRUNTS]

183
00:09:28,861 --> 00:09:31,822
[MEOWS THEN HISSES]

184
00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:34,533
[GRUNTS]

185
00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:36,399
Oh, sweetie.

186
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,798
[BABBLES]

187
00:09:39,288 --> 00:09:40,195
Hmm. Oh!

188
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:41,707
[YELPS]

189
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:48,714
Don't worry, Maggie, I'll have these
silly things out in just two days.

190
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:51,842
Till then I'll just try to hide them
from the family.

191
00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:57,994
<i>Making it the latest Segway scooter</i>
<i>accident to claim over 1000 lives.</i>

192
00:09:59,183 --> 00:10:01,894
Not feeling well. Going to bed.
Dinner and breakfast are on the table.

193
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:03,426
[FOOTSTEPS]

194
00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,033
Did you label the meals
so I could tell which is which?

195
00:10:06,565 --> 00:10:07,774
MARGE:
Yes.

196
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:11,445
<i>Locally, two school children offended</i>
<i>veterans, educators and flag hags...</i>

197
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:15,438
<i>...while imitating a stunt they learned</i>
<i>watching TV's Krusty the Clown.</i>

198
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:17,138
[GULPS]

199
00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:20,235
<i>Besieged by angry protestors</i>
<i>Krusty responded as follows:</i>

200
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:23,863
- Would you people get a life?
- Not an option.

201
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:26,846
- Stop corrupting our children.
- No.

202
00:10:27,377 --> 00:10:28,952
Bart, this is all your fault.

203
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:31,423
Don't worry.
Krusty always lands on his feet.

204
00:10:31,924 --> 00:10:33,383
[YELLS]

205
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:35,010
[KRUSTY GRUNTS]

206
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:36,887
Help! I got... Aah!

207
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:38,837
[GROANS]

208
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:43,779
Well, someone's tucked in
to an insane degree. Good night.

209
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:45,979
Hey, give me some of those blankets.

210
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,555
MARGE: Unh!
- What's this?

211
00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:50,599
It's enormous.

212
00:10:51,026 --> 00:10:53,810
- Oh, my God. There's another one.
- Homer, let me explain something.

213
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:55,833
- Explain later.
- Homie.

214
00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:57,449
[MARGE GIGGLES]

215
00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,087
Ooh, ooh, Homie.

216
00:11:00,619 --> 00:11:02,193
- Hey, what happened?
- I fell off.

217
00:11:02,621 --> 00:11:05,259
[BOTH LAUGHING]

218
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,554
Now, don't get too used to these.

219
00:11:08,961 --> 00:11:11,745
That awful doctor said
he'd take them out in a couple of days.

220
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:13,465
Yeah, he truly is a monster.

221
00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:17,761
Hey, let's go out to dinner tomorrow.
Just you, me, the kids, and the twins.

222
00:11:18,512 --> 00:11:20,086
What do you say?

223
00:11:20,514 --> 00:11:22,015
Hmm. Hmm?

224
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:25,394
Hmm, they do make my neck
look thinner.

225
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,917
Oh, all right. Let's do it.

226
00:11:28,397 --> 00:11:30,962
Mom, Lisa pushed me
in the laundry basket.

227
00:11:31,525 --> 00:11:32,693
Whatever Bart is saying is a lie.

228
00:11:33,068 --> 00:11:33,944
[GASPS]

229
00:11:34,278 --> 00:11:35,925
Mom, what happened?

230
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:38,042
Your endowment's bigger
than Harvard's.

231
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:42,223
Well, that cinches it. Lisa gets the prize
for the best off-the-cuff response.

232
00:11:42,953 --> 00:11:45,184
I saw them earlier,
I was working on it in the hall.

233
00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:49,491
I'm sorry, we are totally full.

234
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:50,909
[KIDS WHIMPER]

235
00:11:52,171 --> 00:11:53,745
Boy, oh, Boyardee.

236
00:11:54,173 --> 00:11:58,489
Ha, ha. I bazoom you want a table.
Right this way.

237
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,161
Wow, Mom,
your guns got us a great table.

238
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,653
Right by the lobster tank.

239
00:12:07,728 --> 00:12:09,990
For you, pretty lady,
I make the fresh pasta...

240
00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:13,744
...instead of the crap from a can
I give to everybody else.

241
00:12:14,401 --> 00:12:16,226
It's as cold as my love for you.

242
00:12:16,695 --> 00:12:20,939
And, Marge, if your mouth get tired,
Angelo here will chew for you.

243
00:12:21,742 --> 00:12:23,608
Yes. I like to chew.

244
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,099
Thank you, fellas.

245
00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:28,050
Mom, doesn't it bother you
that they're giving you attention...

246
00:12:28,624 --> 00:12:30,156
...just because of those?

247
00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:33,587
That's not true, Lisa. There are a lot
of complicated issues here...

248
00:12:34,213 --> 00:12:37,143
...that can only be explained
through song.

249
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:42,419
[SINGING]
<i>You took a 20-carat diamond</i>

250
00:12:43,055 --> 00:12:45,317
<i>And made it gleam</i>

251
00:12:45,849 --> 00:12:48,560
<i>Like a big spaghetti dinner</i>

252
00:12:49,144 --> 00:12:54,055
<i>Smothered in whipped cream</i>

253
00:12:54,942 --> 00:12:58,383
<i>You're like X-Men Number 3</i>
<i>In a Mylar bag</i>

254
00:12:59,071 --> 00:13:02,512
<i>You're a brand new muscle car</i>
<i>And all the wheels are mag</i>

255
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,015
<i>You make me feel as young</i>
<i>As the blood I get from sheep</i>

256
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:11,708
<i>You're like Jacqueline Bisset</i>
<i>In me favorite film, The Deep</i>

257
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:15,483
<i>You're sexy and exotic</i>
<i>Like a hooker from Belize</i>

258
00:13:16,088 --> 00:13:19,529
<i>Or a patient with insurance</i>
<i>Who's crawling with disease</i>

259
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:23,689
ALL: <i>You're a sundae</i>
<i>Underneath two great big cherries</i>

260
00:13:24,388 --> 00:13:27,203
<i>Keep in mind they're
only temporaries</i>

261
00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:30,769
ALL: <i>Still we'd like to say</i>
<i>That we are very, very</i>

262
00:13:31,395 --> 00:13:32,855
<i>Glad to see you</i>

263
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,462
<i>And I decree you</i>
<i>The hottest thing to hit this city</i>

264
00:13:37,109 --> 00:13:38,829
<i>Since the fire that killed 11</i>

265
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,529
[ALL GASPING]

266
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:42,333
<i>Dangerous criminals</i>

267
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:44,856
[IN UNISON]
<i>Hooray!</i>

268
00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:49,976
<i>And they're all mine</i>

269
00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:56,743
Hmm. Homer, how come you never
sang a song like that to me before?

270
00:13:57,588 --> 00:14:00,257
Uh, I was getting around to it.

271
00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:04,522
Kiekie Highsmith, Highsmith Modeling.
Honey, I like your look.

272
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:09,099
Forget it, Kiekie. You're not
putting your brain into her body.

273
00:14:09,850 --> 00:14:10,976
That's not why I'm here.

274
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:13,249
I can offer your wife
a lot of modeling work.

275
00:14:13,729 --> 00:14:15,845
Trade shows to start.
Then, who knows?

276
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,223
No dice.
Take your fun and adventure outside.

277
00:14:18,692 --> 00:14:21,111
- Now, wait, Homer.
- For what? Confirmation of my attitude?

278
00:14:21,653 --> 00:14:23,885
Homie, I could use
a little more excitement in my life.

279
00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:25,313
[GASPS]

280
00:14:25,699 --> 00:14:28,003
Hmm, maybe I'll just keep these.

281
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,256
That's great, Mom, but don't forget:

282
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:35,355
[SINGING] <i>I got Krusty in hot water</i>
<i>Now I've got to help him out</i>

283
00:14:36,210 --> 00:14:37,492
- Shut up, boy.
- Oh.

284
00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:39,525
I don't get a song? Mom got a song.

285
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,798
With the economy the way it is,
you're lucky you get soup.

286
00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:43,133
Oh.

287
00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:53,018
And now, one of Ov Mitt Con's
Faces to Watch 2003:

288
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,563
Rookie spokesmodel, Marge Simpson.

289
00:14:57,147 --> 00:14:59,306
[CROWD APPLAUDING
AND CHEERING]

290
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:09,920
MARGE: <i>This sure beats
slaving over a hot stove.</i>

291
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:13,935
Whoa! Whoa!

292
00:15:14,331 --> 00:15:17,699
Gentlemen, say hello
to Springfield's newest supermodel.

293
00:15:18,377 --> 00:15:19,691
You're a lucky man, Homer.

294
00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:22,829
Yeah. This is the longest I've ever gone
without looking at Lenny.

295
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:27,490
Don't make a fuss over me, boys.
Just pour me a beer in a clean glass.

296
00:15:28,262 --> 00:15:29,982
Whoa, whoa, whoa, you said no fuss.

297
00:15:31,306 --> 00:15:34,487
Uh, I wouldn't eat them peanuts,
they're, uh, spit-backs.

298
00:15:35,686 --> 00:15:39,085
So, Krusty, are you ready
to shoot this apple off my head?

299
00:15:39,773 --> 00:15:41,525
Well, if by "shoot" you mean "teach"...

300
00:15:41,984 --> 00:15:44,872
...and by "my head" you mean "safety,"
then, yes.

301
00:15:45,487 --> 00:15:47,792
Oh, man. Now they won't let Krusty
do anything fun.

302
00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:50,628
Teletubbies get away
with more than this.

303
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:53,276
I've learned my lesson, Krusty.

304
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:56,352
Never again shall I look directly
at an eclipse.

305
00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:59,699
This sucks! Bring out Mr. Teeny!

306
00:16:00,294 --> 00:16:03,005
I can't.
They made me release him into the wild.

307
00:16:09,469 --> 00:16:10,523
[WHINES]

308
00:16:10,929 --> 00:16:12,723
We got Krusty into this,
we'll get him out.

309
00:16:13,182 --> 00:16:14,568
We have to make him a hero again.

310
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:18,009
Maybe if we cut his foot off,
people will feel sorry for him.

311
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,324
It didn't help your dad
get your mom back.

312
00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:22,055
[GROANS]

313
00:16:22,441 --> 00:16:26,320
Hi, Mrs. Simpson.
My mom said I'm not to look at you.

314
00:16:27,070 --> 00:16:29,740
- What's with the belt, Mom?
- It's for my back spasms.

315
00:16:30,324 --> 00:16:33,327
If guys didn't keep pinching my tush,
I'd never stand up straight.

316
00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:35,819
You liked all the attention
you were getting.

317
00:16:36,288 --> 00:16:39,103
I'm afraid all that attention
is from the wrong kind of people.

318
00:16:39,708 --> 00:16:41,939
[CHUCKLING]

319
00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:49,812
[SIGHS]

320
00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:52,273
- Hey, Krusty.
- How'd you get in here?

321
00:16:52,763 --> 00:16:55,766
- The doorman died.
- Oh, no. He was my agent.

322
00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:59,394
I have a plan that will make the world
fall in love with Krusty again.

323
00:17:00,020 --> 00:17:01,626
It's too late. I've given up.

324
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:04,587
The Krusty I know
didn't get where he is by giving up.

325
00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,496
No, I got where I am
by naming names in the '50s.

326
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,415
Okay, what's your plan?

327
00:17:09,821 --> 00:17:12,710
Simple. We just have to cause a riot
at the Springfield Shoe Expo.

328
00:17:13,325 --> 00:17:15,077
I like. I like.

329
00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:20,030
Oh, this is my Woodstock.

330
00:17:26,797 --> 00:17:29,539
I have been paid millions
to endorse these butt-ugly shoes.

331
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:31,489
[CROWD CHATTERING]

332
00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,586
My forthrightness is my undoing.

333
00:17:35,514 --> 00:17:39,685
Kiekie, I'm tired of tradeshow modeling.
My back really hurts.

334
00:17:40,477 --> 00:17:44,210
You seem unhappy. So I'm going to
inject this smile solution into your jaw.

335
00:17:44,940 --> 00:17:45,816
[GRUNTS]

336
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,600
Did you just drug me? What the...?

337
00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:51,384
- Technically, it's a toxin.
- Hmm.

338
00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,146
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]

339
00:17:53,574 --> 00:17:56,723
Okay, here's the drill. A rogue elephant,
played by my old friend Stampy...

340
00:17:57,369 --> 00:17:59,381
...is about to crush
sweet young Milhouse.

341
00:17:59,872 --> 00:18:01,811
Then you run up and save the day...

342
00:18:02,291 --> 00:18:05,252
...by saying Stampy's safety word,
"magumbo."

343
00:18:05,878 --> 00:18:07,410
[ELEPHANT GROANS]

344
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,539
Whoa, he's a big as Brando,
but he takes direction.

345
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:15,992
Eighty-nine percent of Americans would
rather have a shoehorn than a computer.

346
00:18:16,722 --> 00:18:18,765
I'd like to 89 you.

347
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,132
I've heard about you vendors.

348
00:18:21,602 --> 00:18:23,760
Hey, lady.
I like the way your body looks.

349
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:27,055
- Stop objectifying my mom.
- I will in a second.

350
00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:30,611
Ooh! Hey, baby! You're an object!
Ha-ha-ha!

351
00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:33,061
Help! Help!

352
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,700
Who will save
this promising young honors student?

353
00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:40,516
Hey, hey, hey. I'll save the day.

354
00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,686
- Hey, it's that clown who hates children.
- And flags.

355
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:47,909
I say we judge him
by what he does next. Yeehaw!

356
00:18:48,670 --> 00:18:50,641
Hey, elephant, I got one word for you:

357
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,769
Columbo! No, that's not it.

358
00:18:54,343 --> 00:18:58,732
Modesto! <i>Daktari? </i>Nintendo? Oh.

359
00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:01,715
[MILHOUSE GRUNTS
THEN ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]

360
00:19:02,893 --> 00:19:04,394
[ALL GASPING]

361
00:19:05,479 --> 00:19:06,355
[ELEPHANT TRUMPETS]

362
00:19:06,688 --> 00:19:07,898
Whoa!

363
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:11,495
Oh, if he bites, I'm sunk.
If he swallows, I'm good.

364
00:19:12,152 --> 00:19:13,320
[TRUMPETING]

365
00:19:13,987 --> 00:19:16,104
- Dad, look.
- I'm on it.

366
00:19:16,615 --> 00:19:18,554
Be careful, uh... Uh-oh.

367
00:19:19,076 --> 00:19:20,317
[HOMER SHOUTS]

368
00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:23,674
All right, aim for the big hose
coming out of his face.

369
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:26,854
- You mean the trunk?
- Easy there, college boy.

370
00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:28,325
Wait! Wait!

371
00:19:28,669 --> 00:19:31,891
My son, my husband,
and the Van Houten boy are in there.

372
00:19:32,548 --> 00:19:35,405
Sorry, ma'am.
We don't negotiate with elephants.

373
00:19:36,385 --> 00:19:38,178
- Ready...
- Mom, do something.

374
00:19:38,637 --> 00:19:40,608
- ...aim...
- I've gotta stop them from shooting.

375
00:19:41,098 --> 00:19:42,412
I don't...

376
00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:44,268
Lisa, don't hate me for this.

377
00:19:44,685 --> 00:19:47,646
Continue aiming. Still aiming.

378
00:19:48,272 --> 00:19:52,005
Hey, cops.
Check out this all-points bulletin.

379
00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:54,486
[MARGE GRUNTS
THEN CROWD GASPING]

380
00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:56,624
[GRUNTS]

381
00:19:57,114 --> 00:19:59,126
Whoa, look at those magumbos.

382
00:19:59,616 --> 00:20:00,899
[TRUMPETS]

383
00:20:01,326 --> 00:20:02,567
Hey, that's it.

384
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:03,996
Magumbo!

385
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:05,205
[GROANS]

386
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,095
I came out of the elephant's mouth,
right?

387
00:20:09,543 --> 00:20:11,149
Because I already showered
once today.

388
00:20:11,587 --> 00:20:13,161
Oh. Ha-ha-ha.

389
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:22,024
Well, you saved Krusty's reputation.

390
00:20:22,556 --> 00:20:25,340
You learned a woman doesn't need
a 48-inch chest to be beautiful.

391
00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:27,321
That's how I felt all along.

392
00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:30,324
Lisa learned a lesson.
Lisa learned a lesson.

393
00:20:30,856 --> 00:20:35,027
Kids, I'd like to re-introduce you
to classic Marge.

394
00:20:35,819 --> 00:20:38,082
I finally feel like me again.

395
00:20:38,614 --> 00:20:41,064
- You're not disappointed are you?
- Not at all, sweetie.

396
00:20:41,617 --> 00:20:44,651
At least one of us should be able
to put their arms around the other one.

397
00:20:45,287 --> 00:20:46,455
[GROANS]

398
00:20:46,872 --> 00:20:49,760
Anyway,
you're the only man I want ogling me.

399
00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:52,972
Oh, we're gonna do a little more
than just ogling.

400
00:20:53,545 --> 00:20:54,640
Oh, Homie.

401
00:20:55,005 --> 00:20:56,507
Let's go get fried chicken.

402
00:20:56,924 --> 00:20:59,812
<i>[BAHA MEN HUMMING</i>
<i>SIMPSONS THEME]</i>

403
00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:01,856
BAHA MEN [SINGING]:
<i>Who let her jugs out?</i>

404
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:03,211
<i>D'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh</i>

405
00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:07,267
<i>Marge let her jugs out</i>
<i>D'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh</i>

406
00:21:07,935 --> 00:21:10,750
<i>Who let her jugs out?</i>
<i>D'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh</i>

407
00:21:11,355 --> 00:21:14,754
<i>Marge let her jugs out</i>
<i>D'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh</i>

408
00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:19,801
<i>Ho, ho, ho, ho</i>
<i>Ho, ho, ho, ho</i>

409
00:21:26,495 --> 00:21:29,425
<i>Who let her jugs out?</i>
<i>D'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh</i>

410
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:33,262
<i>Marge let her jugs out</i>
<i>D'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh</i>

411
00:21:33,919 --> 00:21:36,776
<i>Who let her jugs out?</i>
<i>D'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh</i>

412
00:21:37,381 --> 00:21:40,780
<i>Marge let her jugs out</i>
<i>D'oh, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh</i>

413
00:21:41,468 --> 00:21:43,846
<i>Ho, ho, ho, ho</i>
<i>Ho, ho, ho, ho</i>

414
00:21:44,388 --> 00:21:45,743
WOMAN:
Shh.

415
00:21:50,811 --> 00:21:51,687
[English - US -SDH]

