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00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:05,339
CHORUS [SINGS]:
The Simpsons
2
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,007
Special Edna
3
00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:11,063
D'oh! Ah!
4
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:16,037
[SIZZLING]
5
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:28,570
The topic for your research paper
will be World War I.
6
00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:33,335
- Was that the war with Hitler or Merlin?
- Oh, you idiot. Merlin was in Vietnam.
7
00:00:34,117 --> 00:00:36,422
Instead of writing a report,
can I do a dance?
8
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:38,705
[HUMMING]
9
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:40,697
[MILHOUSE GRUNTS]
10
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,325
- Sorry.
- May I type my report?
11
00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,483
It'll be easier on teacher's eyes.
12
00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:48,340
Yes. In fact,
why doesn't everyone type their paper?
13
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:49,789
Great idea, Martin.
14
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,480
Can the paper be 10 pages minimum?
15
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:55,795
Well, I was gonna say five, but okay.
Thanks again, Martin.
16
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,266
Martin?
17
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He's gone now.
But you gotta admire his spirit.
18
00:01:06,525 --> 00:01:07,505
All right, Seymour.
19
00:01:07,860 --> 00:01:10,164
I'm ready
for our romantic apple picking trip.
20
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Yes. About that.
21
00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,366
Mother's neck wattle got caught
in a zipper.
22
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I've, uh, got a long night
of boo-boo kissing ahead of me.
23
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But don't worry, I got you
these store-bought apples instead.
24
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The apples weren't the point.
25
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[CHUCKLES]
26
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Then why were we
going apple picking?
27
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[SIGHS]
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Okay. Time to start this paper.
29
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[SIGHS]
30
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World War I. W-W-one.
31
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Uh, that's a good start.
32
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Time to watch wrestling.
33
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ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:
I can't believe it.
34
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[GROANS]
35
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:43,948
ANNOUNCER: Uncle Slam has defeated
Osama bin Rotten, wow.
36
00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:47,670
Here comes Secretary of Hate,
Colin Kapow!
37
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He's dropping sanctions.
38
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- Unh!
ANNOUNCER: By which I mean anvils.
39
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[OSAMA GRUNTS]
40
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[TV AUDIENCE CHEERING]
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[SIGHS]
42
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:00,339
Okay, gotta focus, gotta focus.
43
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,352
Gotta look at that bird.
44
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Gotta focus.
45
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[CLOCK TICKING]
46
00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:08,086
MAN:
Damn it!
47
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:10,870
Why did I pay for a hundred Xeroxes
when I only wanted one?
48
00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:14,207
Well, I guess someone else
will use the other 99.
49
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,167
Oh.
50
00:02:16,512 --> 00:02:18,743
Prank or study? Prank or study?
51
00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,199
[GROANS]
52
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:30,901
What should I do, Lord?
Give me a sign.
53
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[LAUGHING]
54
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[XEROX MACHINE WHIRRING]
55
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:40,098
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING]
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Now, if everyone
would open your prayer books...
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[YELLS]
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[ALL SCREAMING]
59
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:50,983
[LAUGHS]
60
00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:54,049
Well, boys,
good thing we brought the eye soap.
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ROD & TODD:
Ow!
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The burning is love.
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00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,758
"Russia, Great Britain and France
had formed an entente cordiale..."
64
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,145
[GROANS]
65
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,378
Ooh, Algebra.
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I'll just do a few equations.
67
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,196
No. No more distractions.
68
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:22,494
Hey, Bart, wanna go for a ride
in my uncle's Black Hawk helicopter?
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But I just started my paper.
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00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:28,448
It's your last chance. He's probably
gonna get court-martialed for this.
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Black Hawk up.
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[BART & MILHOUSE LAUGHING]
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BART [OVER SPEAKER]:
Attention, teenage boys.
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Take your hands off my daughter.
75
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[BOYS WHIMPERING]
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00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:45,038
MILHOUSE [OVER SPEAKER]:
Now, kiss each other.
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[SOBBING]
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00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:50,105
[BART & MILHOUSE LAUGHING]
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[FOOTSTEPS]
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[WHISTLING]
81
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,473
Grampa, quick. Tell me everything
you know about World War I.
82
00:04:04,036 --> 00:04:06,079
World War I? I fought in that.
83
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:09,656
Of course, to enlist,
I had to lie about my age.
84
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,078
[BOMBS EXPLODING NEARBY]
85
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:17,341
Wanna see my picture I drew?
86
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,405
Lieutenant Simpson,
you've been up for hours.
87
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,449
Take a nap.
You're no good to us cranky.
88
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But I'm not tired.
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[CRYING]
90
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Oh, this is great stuff.
I can pad it out to 10 pages.
91
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:37,236
- Good night, Grampa.
- But I'm not tired.
92
00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,029
Good night, sleepyhead.
93
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:41,490
- Do you have to poop?
- Always.
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00:04:43,033 --> 00:04:45,483
"F"? There must be some mistake.
It's as long as you asked for.
95
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,569
Counting six pages of ads.
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00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,895
You're gonna have to redo your paper.
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00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:55,108
Well, if I may dust off an old chestnut:
Ay caramba.
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00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:56,713
[SIGHS]
99
00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:59,018
Ay caramba indeed.
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00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:05,660
"And so on November 11th, 1918,
the guns fell silent and peace returned.
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00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:07,891
The end."
102
00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:10,279
Very good, Bart.
103
00:05:10,769 --> 00:05:12,886
Oh, I must have the wrong classroom.
104
00:05:13,397 --> 00:05:15,628
I was looking for my girlfriend,
not Pam Dawber.
105
00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,244
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
106
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:21,165
Are you ready
for a little after-school special?
107
00:05:21,864 --> 00:05:22,917
Eyes front, Simpson.
108
00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:24,230
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
109
00:05:24,575 --> 00:05:26,034
Hello? Mother?
110
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:27,327
[SIGHS]
111
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,090
I'll be right there.
112
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:31,175
Now she wants to get out of the tub.
113
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,439
You've got to stop putting your mother
ahead of me. We have a date.
114
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I'll be back in three hours. Maybe less.
115
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,278
But almost certainly more.
116
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[DOOR CLOSES]
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00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:44,261
[SOBS]
118
00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:45,950
He's a wiener, Mrs. K.
119
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Just say the word
and his desk is full of boogers.
120
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[CRIES]
121
00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:51,549
That's sweet of you.
122
00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:55,522
But if I lost Seymour,
who else is there?
123
00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,453
I believe in miracles
124
00:06:01,445 --> 00:06:04,229
Where you from
You sexy thing?
125
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,137
Sexy thing, you
126
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,409
I believe...
127
00:06:07,743 --> 00:06:09,422
Okay.
There's a lot of low cards in that hand.
128
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:12,247
Since we're both free,
why don't you and me hit the town?
129
00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:16,668
A pity date from a 10 year old?
I'll take it.
130
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:27,294
From the widest gully
to the deepest trench...
131
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:31,287
...holes define who we are
and where we are going.
132
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,207
And although Rover here
may not know it...
133
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,731
...he is participating in a ritual
as old as time itself.
134
00:06:38,357 --> 00:06:40,734
He is giving birth to a hole.
135
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:45,343
Or consider the dolphin,
nature's most filmed creature.
136
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:49,003
Even they have holes. Blowholes.
137
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,214
Thanks for going out with me tonight.
138
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:56,020
It really took my mind off stupid jerks
and their mothers.
139
00:07:02,381 --> 00:07:03,549
[SIGHS]
140
00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:07,115
And did you know the hole's
only natural enemy is the pile?
141
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:10,399
I can't believe you went to the movies
with the teacher.
142
00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:14,007
What happened to the Bart Simpson
who put the mothballs in the beef stew?
143
00:07:14,643 --> 00:07:17,135
I only hung out with Krabappel
because Skinner blew her off.
144
00:07:17,688 --> 00:07:19,074
I've never seen her so sad.
145
00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:21,640
You know what made me feel better
about myself?
146
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,299
That award I got
for World's Greatest Dad.
147
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:29,835
Dad, you bought that
because it was full of gummy worms.
148
00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:33,047
And you only wanted those as bait
to catch gummy fish.
149
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,715
Which I did.
150
00:07:39,001 --> 00:07:41,190
Mm, trophy.
151
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,996
Hey, Bart, you could nominate
Mrs. Krabappel for an actual award...
152
00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:47,968
...the Teacher of the Year.
Then she'll feel appreciated.
153
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:49,824
They have an award for teaching?
154
00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:52,483
Hey, they have Latin Grammys.
155
00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:01,377
It is so hard to choose nominees
from all these qualified candidates.
156
00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:05,204
This is the most difficult
one-day-a-year job in the world.
157
00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:06,883
Put in the next tape.
158
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:10,365
I use humor to reach my students.
159
00:08:10,866 --> 00:08:12,034
[JUDGES GROAN]
160
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,974
Dead Poets Society
has destroyed a generation of educators.
161
00:08:15,537 --> 00:08:16,705
[LAUGHING]
162
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,874
And so President Kennedy says
to Khrushchev:
163
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:22,002
"Well, enough jawing.
Reach for it, pilgrim."
164
00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:26,361
And the missiles are like,
"Oh, praise Jesus! Can I hear an amen?"
165
00:08:27,174 --> 00:08:28,748
[SINGS]
Hey, Macarena
166
00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:30,823
- Next.
- I'd like to nominate my teacher...
167
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:34,077
...Mrs. Krabappel. She may not be
glamorous or entertaining...
168
00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,935
...she's just a real teacher who comes
in every day no matter what.
169
00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,646
And she never gave up on me,
Bart Simpson.
170
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:42,022
[ALL GASP]
171
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:44,253
- The Bart Simpson?
- I thought he was an urban legend.
172
00:08:44,733 --> 00:08:47,913
If she's danced with the devil
in the blue shorts and lived...
173
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:50,072
...we have ourselves a nominee.
174
00:08:50,489 --> 00:08:51,469
JUDGES:
Mm-hm.
175
00:08:52,658 --> 00:08:54,847
Oh, Lord, it's only Wednesday.
176
00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:58,111
I hope one of those little hoods
puts a tack on my chair...
177
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,864
...just so I can feel something.
178
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:02,251
[CHEERING]
179
00:09:02,584 --> 00:09:04,159
- What's going on?
- Edna Krabappel...
180
00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,818
...you've been nominated
for Teacher of the Year.
181
00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:08,913
[KIDS CHEERING]
182
00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:10,321
Oh, my God.
183
00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:11,844
[SOBBING]
184
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:13,898
Ha, ha, you're a-crying.
185
00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:17,818
Nelson Muntz, you've been nominated
for Bully of the Year.
186
00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,529
Thank you so much.
187
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,552
[SOBS]
188
00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:24,408
- Wedgie.
- Unh!
189
00:09:24,815 --> 00:09:25,691
[GRUNTS]
190
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,779
How does it feel to be nominated
for Teacher of the Year?
191
00:09:31,363 --> 00:09:32,239
[CHUCKLES]
192
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:33,448
I can't believe it.
193
00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:37,296
This after I accidentally showed
the R-rated Romeo and Juliet.
194
00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:40,153
I thought
that nipple would haunt me forever.
195
00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:44,251
Oh, oh. Reporter Cletus,
Outhouse Times-Picayune.
196
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:49,569
Is there any persons, critters or spells
to which you attribute this accolade?
197
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:53,354
There's one person
I'd like to thank for this.
198
00:09:53,969 --> 00:09:54,876
Mm-hm.
199
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:58,296
We've had our ups and downs,
but I can't imagine life without him.
200
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,319
Bart Simpson.
201
00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:02,665
[CROWD CLAPPING]
202
00:10:03,145 --> 00:10:05,084
MAN:
Way to go, Bart.
203
00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:08,890
I can't express how I feel in words,
so I drew this picture.
204
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,862
These stink lines stand
for dedication, caring...
205
00:10:12,404 --> 00:10:14,198
...and for letting me drink coffee
in class.
206
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:16,596
- Way to go, Edna.
WOMAN 1: Yes, yes.
207
00:10:17,075 --> 00:10:18,462
WOMAN 2: Way to go!
- Oh, oh.
208
00:10:18,869 --> 00:10:19,745
Follow-up query.
209
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,935
Mrs. K,
if you win this here learning derby...
210
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:26,908
...will you forget your kith and kin
and leave us all forever?
211
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:29,546
Leave us forever?
212
00:10:29,922 --> 00:10:32,226
I'd better pee on this fire.
213
00:10:33,425 --> 00:10:35,688
As principal, I'd just like
to say a few words...
214
00:10:36,220 --> 00:10:40,432
...about what this wonderful woman
means to this school and to me.
215
00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:44,259
Webster's Dictionary
defines Mrs. Krabappel as...
216
00:10:44,895 --> 00:10:47,241
[PAGER BEEPING]
217
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,338
Excuse me.
I have an emergency page from mother.
218
00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:54,436
This press conference is over.
219
00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:57,063
[GROANS]
220
00:10:57,533 --> 00:10:59,065
So because I nominated Mrs. K...
221
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:02,527
...our whole family gets a free trip
to the awards ceremony in Orlando.
222
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,509
- Orlando? Are we going to SeaWorld?
- No.
223
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,251
- Disney World?
- Uh-uh.
224
00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:08,940
- Universal Studios?
- Afraid not.
225
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,453
- Leisure World?
- Sorry, Grampa.
226
00:11:11,964 --> 00:11:13,246
- Gator Gulch?
- You wish.
227
00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:14,758
Leisure World?
228
00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,666
Grampa, you're not even going.
229
00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:19,179
Wait a minute.
I know where we're going.
230
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:21,431
Oh, it's horrible!
231
00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:26,864
Oh, it's even boring to fly over it.
232
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:29,773
[CRYING]
233
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:32,067
Oh, God.
234
00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:38,626
It's so exciting. I'm meeting my peers.
235
00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:40,565
Ooh, The Future Sphere.
236
00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:44,945
It's what people in 1965 imagined
what life would be like in 1987.
237
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:51,430
RIDE ANNOUNCER:
Eastern Airlines presents...
238
00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:53,484
..."The World of Tomorrow."
239
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,914
Don't walk, fly...
240
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:59,230
...in your personal
Eastern Airlines Air Buggy.
241
00:12:00,304 --> 00:12:02,024
And say goodbye to the cola wars.
242
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:04,965
The victor, Eastern Airlines Cola.
243
00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:07,019
And we're not stopping there.
244
00:12:07,436 --> 00:12:11,753
Because at Eastern Airlines, world
conquest is part of our master plan.
245
00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:15,642
Now, enjoy the soothing music
of The Turtles.
246
00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:19,354
[THE TURTLES' "HAPPY TOGETHER"
PLAYING OVER SPEAKER]
247
00:12:23,785 --> 00:12:25,944
It's nice and cool in here,
don't you think?
248
00:12:27,331 --> 00:12:29,593
RIDE ANNOUNCER: Welcome
to the electric car of the future...
249
00:12:30,125 --> 00:12:32,023
...sponsored by the gasoline
producers of America.
250
00:12:32,503 --> 00:12:34,296
[CAR SPUTTERING]
251
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:39,218
CAR:
Hello. I'm an electric car.
252
00:12:39,885 --> 00:12:43,587
I can't go very fast or very far.
253
00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:47,966
And if you drive me,
people will think you're gay.
254
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:52,272
[IN UNISON]
One of us! One of us!
255
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,847
Willie, you're no stranger to the
inner workings of the female mind.
256
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:07,798
Aye. Willie's sent
many a Vermont Teddy Bear.
257
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:11,187
Well, I'm a little worried
that, uh, with all this attention...
258
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:13,439
...Edna may meet someone better.
259
00:13:13,877 --> 00:13:16,880
Damn straight she will,
you brunch-eating popinjay.
260
00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:19,185
Your woman's in Orlando, man.
261
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:23,512
You can't take two steps there
without falling into a tunnel of love.
262
00:13:24,263 --> 00:13:26,087
Oh, I've been a fool.
263
00:13:26,557 --> 00:13:28,089
I've gotta go after her.
264
00:13:28,517 --> 00:13:30,821
- Take me car.
- Unh.
265
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:38,078
[BEEPING]
266
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:41,478
Make sure you fill it up
with Techron gas.
267
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,751
You don't want a case of the knocks.
268
00:13:48,245 --> 00:13:51,467
Wow,
this restaurant is so international.
269
00:13:52,124 --> 00:13:56,044
"Le Pizza, Der Hamburger,
Señor Grilled Cheese."
270
00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,985
I hope I don't accidentally
order an elephant.
271
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:00,674
[CHUCKLES]
272
00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:02,593
What happened to you two?
273
00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:06,857
AUDIENCE:
Ew!
274
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:13,322
Let's go make some fireworks
of our own.
275
00:14:16,273 --> 00:14:17,660
I get to tamp the powder.
276
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,599
I wouldn't have it any other way.
277
00:14:20,027 --> 00:14:21,778
[CHUCKLES]
278
00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:25,209
Oh, I wish I had someone
to share this with.
279
00:14:25,741 --> 00:14:28,379
Edna Krabappel,
please report to the principal's arms.
280
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:29,828
[GASPS]
281
00:14:30,162 --> 00:14:33,050
- Oh, you came.
- Ha. I took a personal day.
282
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:37,836
[BOTH MOANING]
283
00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:40,182
Seymour! Bring me some ice.
284
00:14:40,672 --> 00:14:43,164
My fanny is baboon red
after that car ride.
285
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:47,127
Ow! Mother,
we were sharing an open-mouthed kiss.
286
00:14:47,763 --> 00:14:48,639
You brought your mother?
287
00:14:48,972 --> 00:14:49,848
[CHUCKLES]
288
00:14:50,182 --> 00:14:52,851
Well, technically, since she's paying
for the room, she brought me.
289
00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:54,457
[SCOFFS]
290
00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:56,313
I am tired of sharing you
with your mother.
291
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:59,910
This woman carried me
for nine-and-a-half months.
292
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:02,726
I was out for two weeks
and then went back in.
293
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:04,884
Ugh!
294
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,449
Hey, Skinner.
295
00:15:07,783 --> 00:15:11,370
You and Edna wanna join Marge and me
at Great Moments With Mr. Eisner?
296
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:16,177
I believe the only venue for me
is the ride of broken dreams.
297
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:20,066
Oh, you mean the Enron ride.
Let's go.
298
00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:24,091
[COASTER RATTLING]
299
00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:26,666
WOMAN:
We're all gonna be rich!
300
00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,773
[SCREAMING]
301
00:15:29,221 --> 00:15:30,201
MAN 1:
We broke even.
302
00:15:30,556 --> 00:15:32,161
[SCREAMING]
303
00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:34,351
[ALL GROAN]
304
00:15:34,685 --> 00:15:36,332
MAN 2:
Mm, that's good satire.
305
00:15:43,193 --> 00:15:44,069
[LISA GASPS]
306
00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:47,698
Mom, is that Principal Skinner
sleeping in the bed of tomorrow?
307
00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:51,462
MOTHER ROBOT:
Rise and shine, sleepyhead.
308
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:55,758
You'll be late
for the next rocket to the moon.
309
00:15:57,249 --> 00:15:59,626
He's never going to get up.
He's got no legs.
310
00:16:00,169 --> 00:16:01,190
What are you doing here?
311
00:16:01,545 --> 00:16:02,671
Oh, well, since Edna dumped me...
312
00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:04,944
...I've been wandering
around this park all night.
313
00:16:05,424 --> 00:16:08,312
It's educational and offers mild thrills.
314
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:10,314
Just like Edna.
315
00:16:10,721 --> 00:16:13,505
Now before the show,
you'll need to take urine tests...
316
00:16:14,099 --> 00:16:16,039
...to prove you're not taking
teaching-enhancing drugs.
317
00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:17,686
[LAUGHING]
318
00:16:18,061 --> 00:16:20,845
You can't test what's not there.
319
00:16:21,857 --> 00:16:25,485
We're also pleased to announce that our
winner will receive enough money...
320
00:16:26,195 --> 00:16:27,696
...so they'll never have to teach again.
321
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:29,980
[CHEERING]
322
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,649
Good Lord. I may lose Edna forever.
323
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,620
I've gotta stop her from winning.
324
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:37,633
Then she'll be broken,
miserable and mine.
325
00:16:41,585 --> 00:16:43,775
Don't look back. Just keep driving.
326
00:16:44,296 --> 00:16:45,943
Seymour? Glad you're here.
327
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:48,540
You can help me play
"Halloween Hit and Run."
328
00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:50,948
[SCREAMING]
329
00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:53,920
Ooh, this game is gonna get
some disapproving clucks.
330
00:16:54,473 --> 00:16:56,735
But for now,
I need my tongue to talk to you.
331
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:59,311
I don't wanna lose Edna...
332
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:03,179
...so I need you to sabotage her chances
of winning tonight.
333
00:17:03,857 --> 00:17:05,359
But I don't wanna hurt Mrs. K.
334
00:17:05,776 --> 00:17:08,080
All right, Bart.
I didn't wanna resort to this, but...
335
00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:12,814
This drawing was found on the wall
of Springfield Elementary last week.
336
00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:16,464
All right, I'm in.
I'll humiliate the love of your life.
337
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,936
Because I like you,
I'll even do it pro boner.
338
00:17:20,541 --> 00:17:22,292
- It's pro bono.
- I know what I said.
339
00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:25,170
Oh, this is the worst thing
I've ever done.
340
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:28,496
Even worse than what I did in Nam.
341
00:17:34,304 --> 00:17:37,120
You're gonna get your parade,
down my esophagus.
342
00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:41,311
[GROANS]
343
00:17:42,271 --> 00:17:44,241
So many categories.
344
00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,442
"Gym Teacher of the Year,
Substitute Teacher of the Year...
345
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:50,289
...Most Wheelchair-Accessible School
award"?
346
00:17:50,821 --> 00:17:51,697
[GASPS]
347
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:53,709
Oh, who will take home the Rampy?
348
00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:57,828
ANNOUNCER: And now, to
present our final award...
349
00:17:58,370 --> 00:18:00,716
...for Teacher of the Year,
Little Richard.
350
00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:02,854
I love teachers.
351
00:18:03,292 --> 00:18:04,939
In fact, I'm a teacher.
352
00:18:05,377 --> 00:18:07,796
I taught Paul McCartney to go: Whoo!
353
00:18:08,338 --> 00:18:10,090
- "Purple Rain!"
- Shut up!
354
00:18:10,549 --> 00:18:11,425
[CHUCKLES]
355
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:14,501
Michael Jackson just told me
to shut up.
356
00:18:16,263 --> 00:18:18,234
We're down
to our last three teachers, folks.
357
00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:21,508
And the winner will be decided
by one final question...
358
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:24,146
...asked by the students
who nominated them.
359
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:26,367
[AUDIENCE CLAPPING]
360
00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:30,173
SKINNER [THINKING]:
I feel terrible.
361
00:18:30,611 --> 00:18:34,125
But this is the only way I can win
Edna without upsetting Mother.
362
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:38,139
AGNES [THINKING]:
He has the tiny hands of a chimp.
363
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:42,518
And now, Bart Simpson
will ask a question to his teacher.
364
00:18:44,666 --> 00:18:49,244
[STUTTERING]
"Wha... What woul...?"
365
00:18:50,088 --> 00:18:53,018
- Hurry up, son.
- I'm sorry. I can't read.
366
00:18:53,634 --> 00:18:56,303
Mrs. Krabappel never taught me
to read.
367
00:18:56,887 --> 00:18:57,763
[GASPING]
368
00:18:58,138 --> 00:18:59,191
Is this true, Edna?
369
00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:00,609
[SIGHS]
370
00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:02,987
Oh, God. I've created a Prankenstein.
371
00:19:03,477 --> 00:19:06,188
Wait. That boy is lying.
He's not illiterate.
372
00:19:06,772 --> 00:19:08,930
And he's good around the potty too.
373
00:19:09,942 --> 00:19:10,963
I'm sorry, everyone.
374
00:19:11,527 --> 00:19:13,904
- I perpetrated this charade.
- Hmph.
375
00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:15,364
The boy can read.
376
00:19:15,697 --> 00:19:17,637
Edna Krabappel is the greatest
teacher I've ever known.
377
00:19:18,116 --> 00:19:19,138
[GASPS]
378
00:19:19,493 --> 00:19:21,683
If she can teach me to love,
then she can teach anything.
379
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:23,445
ALL:
Aw.
380
00:19:24,373 --> 00:19:27,334
Seymour!
Your feelings are ugly and wrong.
381
00:19:28,252 --> 00:19:29,972
Are you gonna listen to her?
382
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:32,912
Not on your life, Reverend.
From now on, I'm my own man.
383
00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:36,395
- I have waited to hear that for so long.
- And it gets better.
384
00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:40,952
- Edna Krabappel, will you marry me?
- Oh!
385
00:19:41,682 --> 00:19:44,570
Now, I must warn you, two months'
salary only bought me the ring box.
386
00:19:45,185 --> 00:19:48,073
Oh, here, honey.
Take one of mine. Whoo!
387
00:19:49,565 --> 00:19:52,088
Oh! I felt naked there for a minute.
388
00:19:55,946 --> 00:19:57,406
[GASPS]
389
00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:01,285
Seymour, of course I'll marry you.
390
00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:04,580
Oh, great. Three in a bed.
391
00:20:05,163 --> 00:20:07,207
Since the show is running long,
we'll just name a winner.
392
00:20:07,708 --> 00:20:09,574
[IN UNISON]
Edna! Edna!
393
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,691
Julio Estudiante...
394
00:20:12,129 --> 00:20:15,132
...an inner-city math teacher
who taught teenage gang members...
395
00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:18,865
...that differential equations
are more powerful than bullets.
396
00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:22,545
What a rip!
You all should be ashamed!
397
00:20:23,599 --> 00:20:25,569
Well, I didn't win Teacher of the Year.
398
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:27,811
But I didn't go home empty-handed.
399
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:31,711
Do you wanna check out the bed
of tomorrow today?
400
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:33,494
Oh, Seymour.
401
00:20:33,859 --> 00:20:34,985
[EDNA CHUCKLES]
402
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:36,893
I love happy endings.
403
00:20:37,321 --> 00:20:38,488
Well, here's ours.
404
00:20:38,864 --> 00:20:41,721
We're going to Disney World.
405
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,348
[GRUNTING]
406
00:20:43,702 --> 00:20:45,746
[SIRENS WAILING]
407
00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:48,363
MICKEY MOUSE [OVER SPEAKER]:
Step away from the wall.
408
00:20:48,832 --> 00:20:49,708
Step away from the wall.
409
00:20:50,042 --> 00:20:52,304
Oh, it's so beautiful.
410
00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:54,046
[GRUNTS]
411
00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:55,808
HOMER:
One churro, please.
412
00:20:56,215 --> 00:20:57,268
MAN:
That'll be $14.
413
00:20:57,633 --> 00:20:59,791
[HOMER WAILING]
414
00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:03,503
HOMER:
Here.
415
00:21:10,062 --> 00:21:11,522
Boy, those pies look good.
416
00:21:11,939 --> 00:21:13,617
Open your gullet, you human blob.
417
00:21:15,651 --> 00:21:17,152
Well, what do you think?
418
00:21:17,569 --> 00:21:18,445
[GULPS]
419
00:21:18,779 --> 00:21:20,134
[SINGING]
What do I think of the pie?
420
00:21:20,531 --> 00:21:22,063
What do I think of the pie?
421
00:21:22,491 --> 00:21:24,211
Goodness gracious
It's delicious
422
00:21:24,660 --> 00:21:26,192
That's what I think of the pie
423
00:21:26,620 --> 00:21:28,372
Because...
424
00:21:31,208 --> 00:21:32,115
Should we follow him?
425
00:21:32,918 --> 00:21:35,003
I'm on vacation.
426
00:21:49,977 --> 00:21:51,405
WOMAN:
Shh.
427
00:21:56,483 --> 00:21:57,359
[English - US -SDH]