1
00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:05,433
CHORUS [SINGS]:
<i>The Simpsons</i>

2
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,132
Brake My Wife, Please

3
00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:11,167
D'oh! Ah!

4
00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:31,417
Okay, kids, stay together.

5
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:34,055
I appreciate you helping us out
with this field trip.

6
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,922
Oh, a mom's work is never done.

7
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:40,718
Hmm, I thought I was being kicked
exceptionally hard lately.

8
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:44,190
If I could be any type of shark,
I'd be a tiger shark.

9
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:47,057
- How about you, Milhouse?
- I guess a nurse shark.

10
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,706
I mean... Oh! Ow, ow!

11
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:51,093
[ROARS]

12
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:53,470
Well, looks like Mr. Walrus
and his family...

13
00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:55,722
...are enjoying their Sunday brunch.

14
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,130
[ALL LAUGHING]

15
00:00:57,474 --> 00:00:59,852
Shut up. What am I,
some sort of joke to you people?

16
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:04,168
Now, over here is our newest exhibit,
Wonders of the Gulf Coast.

17
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:05,951
ALL:
Ooh!

18
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:07,849
Shut up. It's not that exciting.

19
00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:11,280
The gulf is home to a breathtaking array
of sea life.

20
00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:14,908
But oil spills
are threatening its delicate ecosystem.

21
00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:16,410
[ALL GASPING]

22
00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,924
Hey, without oil, you wouldn't have
your fancy four-wheel drives.

23
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:23,031
You want to go back
to two-wheel drive?

24
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:24,793
Well, do you?

25
00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:26,076
[CHUCKLES]

26
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,921
I didn't mean to steal focus.

27
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:31,122
MAN [ON MONITOR]: <i>Antarctic
life is a constant struggle.</i>

28
00:01:31,633 --> 00:01:34,344
<i>These sea lions survive</i>
<i>by eating the leftovers...</i>

29
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<i>...of the various film crews</i>
<i>that plague the continent.</i>

30
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[GROANS]

31
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:40,684
Hmm...

32
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,364
[BLEATING]

33
00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:45,209
[GASPS]

34
00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:57,513
This tank is for our Pacific Habitat,
which is currently being remodeled.

35
00:01:58,202 --> 00:02:00,026
Where do you keep the fish
till it's done?

36
00:02:00,495 --> 00:02:03,384
Oh, they're well taken care of
in our storage facility.

37
00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:08,504
In this tank...

38
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,579
...we see some of the most
exotic species of the coral reef.

39
00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,333
Look, that giant clam
appears to be opening.

40
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,815
This could be
a wonderful journal entry.

41
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:19,806
[CHILDREN GASPING]

42
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,403
Look at the size
of those flawless pearls.

43
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,427
[HUMMING]

44
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:26,939
[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

45
00:02:27,314 --> 00:02:29,431
Oh, I might have known. But I didn't.

46
00:02:29,942 --> 00:02:31,182
Bart, get out of there.

47
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:36,073
[BART GRUNTING]

48
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:43,382
- My boy. Will he be all right?
- This kind of injury is routine.

49
00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:45,853
[HIBBERT CHUCKLING]

50
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:50,014
Bart will be up and underachieving
in no time.

51
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,996
All I need is your insurance card.

52
00:02:53,549 --> 00:02:55,592
Hmm, my husband has our card.

53
00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,626
No problem.

54
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:02,589
Now, you stay shackled to that radiator
until you come up with some insurance.

55
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:04,132
[CHUCKLES]

56
00:03:04,476 --> 00:03:08,616
Well, it's 11 a.m. on a workday,
so he must be at that stupid bar.

57
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:10,826
[PHONE DIALING]

58
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,140
Is my husband there?

59
00:03:12,484 --> 00:03:15,226
I don't think he's here.
Uh, hang on. Let me check.

60
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:17,635
[GRUNTS]

61
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:20,075
Nope.

62
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:21,326
What you wearing?

63
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,536
[LINE DISCONNECTS]

64
00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:23,818
[SIGHS]

65
00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:30,930
Okay, five more minutes
and I'm chewing my hand off.

66
00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,204
- Bart, are you okay?
- Oh, Homie, where have you been?

67
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:37,572
- I've been calling all over for you.
- Hey, take it easy.

68
00:03:38,177 --> 00:03:40,961
I went to the video store
to rent a movie for the family.

69
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:42,837
[HOMER HUMMING]

70
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:45,090
MAN [ON TV]: <i>He's got a nose for news...
</i> HOMER: <i>Hmm.</i>

71
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:47,133
<i>...and a diaper full of headlines.</i>

72
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:50,783
<i>- Hey, chief.</i>
MAN: <i>He's editor-in-chimp.</i>

73
00:03:51,398 --> 00:03:53,150
[LAUGHING]

74
00:03:53,609 --> 00:03:55,068
That monkey's wearing a hat.

75
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:58,561
WOMAN[ON TV]: <i>Lifetime Films
presents</i> Buttercups of Autumn.

76
00:03:59,198 --> 00:04:02,159
<i>I fear I have become</i>
<i>a buttercup of winter.</i>

77
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,047
<i>Hush up, Nana. That's fool talk.</i>

78
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:08,290
[SOBBING]

79
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,292
[MONKEY GIBBERING]

80
00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:12,930
[LAUGHING]

81
00:04:14,546 --> 00:04:16,892
[SOBBING]
Nana, she's so wise...

82
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,770
...but no one's gonna benefit
from her wisdom.

83
00:04:20,302 --> 00:04:22,346
[MONKEY GIBBERS
AND HOMER LAUGHS]

84
00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:24,932
Look, he's misspelling words.

85
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:28,685
WOMAN: <i>Nana.</i>
- [SOBBING] Oh, she's so...

86
00:04:29,353 --> 00:04:32,679
Well, from now on, you need to get
a cell phone so I can reach you.

87
00:04:33,357 --> 00:04:35,254
You just can't get a cell phone.

88
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:37,267
Lindsay Naegle, Veriqual Cellular.

89
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:40,364
And I can offer you a whole range
of cellular solutions.

90
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:42,814
Can I get a phone
that plays the Mexican hat dance?

91
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,190
I insist on it.

92
00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:45,817
[MEXICAN RINGTONE PLAYING
OVER PHONE]

93
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:47,412
[SINGING]
<i>I dance, I dance, I dance</i>

94
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:48,841
<i>Around the Mexican hat</i>

95
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:51,948
<i>I dance, I dance, I dance</i>
<i>And that's the end of that</i>

96
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:55,650
<i>Or is it? I guess I'll keep singing</i>
<i>My cell phone appears to be ringing</i>

97
00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:57,339
[CAR HORN HONKS]

98
00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:58,549
MAN:
Hey!

99
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:01,114
Barney, you ever notice how hard it is
to drive with your knees?

100
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,533
Why don't get
one of those hands-free phones?

101
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:06,682
It's the next best thing
to paying attention to the road.

102
00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:08,871
Hands-free, eh?

103
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,052
Then I could give the brothers
the black-power salute.

104
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:15,451
Black power, black power.

105
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:16,848
Was that Al Roker?

106
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,944
His exuberance is perplexing.

107
00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,719
We have headsets,
but you'd be mad to stop there.

108
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,952
Tell me, what is currently plugged
into your car's cigarette lighter?

109
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,038
- Uh, a lighter.
- I weep for you.

110
00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:33,292
These days, everything from
fax machines to coffeemakers...

111
00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:36,180
- ...can be plugged into your dash hole.
- I'll take them.

112
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,506
DVD player, check.

113
00:05:39,882 --> 00:05:41,049
Snow-cone machine, check.

114
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:43,541
Lite-Brite, check.

115
00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:45,554
Fog machine...

116
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:49,589
Even I think this is crazy.

117
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:51,810
[SCRATCHES]

118
00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:53,551
[RAPPING]
<i>Chaka Khan, let me rock you</i>

119
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,731
<i>Let me rock you</i>
<i>Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan</i>

120
00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:58,494
<i>Whisk the egg whites</i>
<i>into the batter mixture...</i>

121
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:02,175
<i>...while scraping the edges</i>
<i>with a very stiff rubber spatula.</i>

122
00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:05,053
<i>Now let's look in</i>
<i>on our hush puppies.</i>

123
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:08,066
[HOMER HUMMING]

124
00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:11,413
Ah.

125
00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:15,010
[GRUNTING]

126
00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:17,628
[GASPS]

127
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,120
Oh, my God. I gotta do something.

128
00:06:21,590 --> 00:06:22,466
[BEEPING]

129
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:23,853
Come on, transmit.

130
00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:26,188
Transmit.

131
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,964
Save me, Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan!

132
00:06:36,188 --> 00:06:37,689
[SPUTTERS THEN COUGHS]

133
00:06:38,106 --> 00:06:40,744
Oh, I'll never mock
the Coast Guard again.

134
00:06:41,318 --> 00:06:43,508
You Navy rejects are all right.

135
00:06:44,655 --> 00:06:46,229
Mr. Simpson, give me your license.

136
00:06:46,990 --> 00:06:47,939
[GROANS]

137
00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,216
[DOGS GROWLING]

138
00:06:55,332 --> 00:06:56,281
Burn their poop.

139
00:06:57,626 --> 00:06:58,867
I am so screwed.

140
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,557
I can't drive to work.
I can't drive to the store.

141
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,205
And I certainly can't drive
to the store at work.

142
00:07:04,716 --> 00:07:05,665
[SIGHS]

143
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,647
I guess I'll have to do
all your driving chores.

144
00:07:09,221 --> 00:07:11,640
That's what a good wife does,
picks up the slack.

145
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:15,362
That reminds me. We gotta pick up my
slacks at that dry cleaner in Shelbyville.

146
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,813
Why can't you use
the local dry cleaner?

147
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:20,065
Uh, I didn't want him to know my size.

148
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:21,431
[GROANS]

149
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,267
Thanks for picking my friends up
from the strip club, Marge.

150
00:07:24,820 --> 00:07:27,489
- Can we stop for ice cream?
- Homer always stops for ice cream.

151
00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:30,377
- We'll see.
- That always means no.

152
00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:32,807
[GROANS]

153
00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:35,330
Where's your mother?
I gotta get to Moe's.

154
00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:37,916
Dad, Mom's been driving
everyone everywhere.

155
00:07:38,417 --> 00:07:40,096
Why don't you take
public transportation?

156
00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:42,921
Public transportation
is for jerks and lesbians.

157
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:45,142
Oh, I guess I'll walk.

158
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,374
Stupid walking.

159
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,407
Thighs chafing horribly.

160
00:07:49,845 --> 00:07:51,273
No drink holder.

161
00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:53,578
I miss my car so much.

162
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,997
Everyone's driving but me.

163
00:07:56,476 --> 00:08:00,866
I can't drive 55
because it only goes 38.

164
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:06,111
- I let go of the parking brake.
- [PANTING] Ralphie, if you stop...

165
00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:08,280
...I'll let you play with my gun.

166
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:10,741
[HUMMING]

167
00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:12,148
I did it.

168
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,578
I walked all the way to Moe's
from my house.

169
00:08:15,078 --> 00:08:16,726
BART:
Way to go, Dad.

170
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,697
You know, I feel pretty good.

171
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:22,826
Maybe I should just keep walking
instead of going into a dark, dreary bar.

172
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:25,808
Get in here, boozy.
You're late for your drunkening.

173
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:30,187
No. From now on, walking is my beer
and feeling good is my hangover.

174
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,638
Hmph.

175
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,307
Huh. Hey, maybe this is a sign.

176
00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:38,070
Maybe it's time
to get out of the alcohol business...

177
00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,208
...give barber college another try.

178
00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:43,430
And this time, I won't join a frat.

179
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,234
Who the hell am I talking to?

180
00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:48,174
You know,
all this walking is paying off.

181
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:49,905
Look how healthy I am.

182
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:54,232
You see? I'm finally thin enough
to wrap this thing around my arm.

183
00:08:55,661 --> 00:08:57,819
Good for you, Dad.
Could you get me some syrup?

184
00:08:58,622 --> 00:09:00,415
Mm, mm.

185
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,220
You see? Before I probably
would've driven to the syrup.

186
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:07,151
Kids, hurry up and eat. We have to leave
for the dentist five minutes ago.

187
00:09:08,590 --> 00:09:11,009
[BART GRUNTING]

188
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:13,199
We don't have time for choking.

189
00:09:13,637 --> 00:09:15,430
Calm down, Stresserella.

190
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,851
Unh, I'm stressed because now
that you've lost your license...

191
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,343
...I'm a full-time family chauffeur.

192
00:09:21,812 --> 00:09:24,377
Now, now, honey,
we all appreciate what you do.

193
00:09:24,940 --> 00:09:27,609
But real chauffeurs
have uniforms and licenses.

194
00:09:28,193 --> 00:09:30,717
You could get in a lot of trouble
with the Livery Commission.

195
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,146
To hell with the Livery Commission.

196
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:35,148
You don't know what you're saying.

197
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,485
What a day for a stroll.

198
00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:40,372
MAN: Come on!
WOMAN: What are you doing...?

199
00:09:40,789 --> 00:09:42,322
[CHATTERING]

200
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,825
Seymour, the two of us
could make good use of this time.

201
00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:48,881
Indeed. You take this
teacher-evaluation test.

202
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:52,895
I'll proctor. Read the directions silently
as I read them aloud to you.

203
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:55,564
Look at those suckers
in their metal coffins.

204
00:09:56,054 --> 00:09:57,660
I can go to work any way I want.

205
00:09:58,348 --> 00:09:59,516
[WHISTLES]

206
00:10:01,435 --> 00:10:02,895
Psst. Bishop to queen four.

207
00:10:03,312 --> 00:10:04,438
We're playing dominoes.

208
00:10:04,813 --> 00:10:06,930
I said bishop to queen four.

209
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:09,088
All right, all right, you.

210
00:10:09,526 --> 00:10:11,643
[WHISTLING]

211
00:10:12,696 --> 00:10:13,572
[GRUNTS]

212
00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:15,334
Simpson, you're a menace.

213
00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:17,680
Oh, George, leave the boy be.

214
00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,661
Martha, I want a divorce.

215
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,456
Oh, George,
you've made me so happy.

216
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:25,678
[HOMER HUMS]

217
00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:30,766
You're the first one here. Please accept
this free ticket to the 1939 World's Fair.

218
00:10:31,632 --> 00:10:32,539
Thanks, Mr. Burns.

219
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,489
I owe it all to walking.

220
00:10:34,927 --> 00:10:37,158
Walking, eh? Let me give it a try.

221
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:38,701
[GRUNTS]

222
00:10:39,056 --> 00:10:40,005
- Whoa!
- Huh!

223
00:10:40,349 --> 00:10:42,768
Well, I'd better drag myself
to the hospital.

224
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,281
[GRUNTING]

225
00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:47,585
Oh, dear.

226
00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:49,691
Smithers, scoop me up.

227
00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:53,643
How could you both miss the bus
to school?

228
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,459
We touched hands.
Then we had to wash the cooties off.

229
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:57,897
[GROANS]

230
00:10:58,242 --> 00:10:59,149
[RUSTLES]

231
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:00,807
What's all that rustling?

232
00:11:01,203 --> 00:11:02,371
My show-and-tell project.

233
00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:04,644
A Peruvian fighting frog.

234
00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:06,990
Hey, I brought
a Peruvian fighting frog.

235
00:11:07,459 --> 00:11:08,585
[BOTH CROAKING]

236
00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:15,373
[GRUNTING]

237
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,189
When will they stop?

238
00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:19,805
Come nightfall.

239
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,663
How about we take a family walk
around the block?

240
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,416
- Yay! I wanna amble.
- I wanna saunter.

241
00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:27,813
- Amble.
- Saunter.

242
00:11:28,146 --> 00:11:29,022
- Amble.
- Saunter.

243
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,712
Stop saying things.

244
00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:33,454
Honey, you seem frazzled.
Why don't you come with us?

245
00:11:33,986 --> 00:11:35,414
Hey, I'd like that.

246
00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:38,897
Oh, I can't.
I have to go pick up Grampa.

247
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:42,202
He proposed to another hooker
at the bus station.

248
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:43,693
[CHUCKLES]

249
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,351
You sure love driving.

250
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,468
Mm-hm.

251
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,082
[HUMMING]

252
00:11:58,427 --> 00:12:00,366
Morning, Homer. Looking good.

253
00:12:00,846 --> 00:12:02,566
Walking has made
a new man out of you.

254
00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:05,361
It sure has.
You see this bulge back here?

255
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:08,197
Now it actually is a fanny pack.

256
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,814
Unh, no, wait. It's still my ass.

257
00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:12,701
But your point is well taken.

258
00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:14,234
You see...

259
00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:17,467
[SINGING]
<i>I like to walk down the avenue</i>

260
00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,011
<i>Bust a move with Disco Stu</i>

261
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,880
<i>You shake me from my booty</i>
<i>To my 'fro</i>

262
00:12:25,454 --> 00:12:29,698
<i>Yes, I strut down the boulevard</i>
<i>Burning off my excess lard</i>

263
00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:34,807
<i>I rarely feel the
need to utter "d'oh"</i>

264
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,872
- Top of the morning, ladies.
- Bite us.

265
00:12:38,634 --> 00:12:42,189
<i>I can walk from
Springfield to Alaska</i>

266
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:45,463
<i>Then hobnob with the stars in Malibu</i>

267
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,143
Hi, Homer. I'm actor Steve Buscemi.

268
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:51,709
The guy who got fed
into the wood chipper in <i>Fargo?</i>

269
00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:55,870
<i>- And when I hear...</i>
BOTH: <i>You can't walk to Turkmenistan</i>

270
00:12:56,568 --> 00:12:59,457
<i>I say, of course, I can</i>
<i>Screw you</i>

271
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:03,982
Hey, would you guys like tickets
to the Independent Film Awards?

272
00:13:04,660 --> 00:13:06,119
[IN UNISON]
Would we?

273
00:13:08,914 --> 00:13:12,386
<i>Oh, I love to perambulate</i>
<i>It's standing still I really hate</i>

274
00:13:13,085 --> 00:13:15,389
<i>So let me please
reiterate, I love to...</i>

275
00:13:15,921 --> 00:13:17,600
[TIRES SQUEAL
THEN HOMER SCREAMS]

276
00:13:19,758 --> 00:13:20,634
[GASPS]

277
00:13:20,968 --> 00:13:23,783
Oh, my feet are inside me.

278
00:13:27,599 --> 00:13:29,612
I am so sorry, Homie.

279
00:13:30,102 --> 00:13:31,708
How is your crushed pelvis?

280
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,428
Pretty good. Thanks for asking.

281
00:13:33,814 --> 00:13:37,182
I don't know what happened.
I saw you and I went for the brake...

282
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,538
...but I hit the accelerator.

283
00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,342
It's okay, Marge.

284
00:13:41,738 --> 00:13:44,773
It would've been worse if I hadn't
been carrying this Bible in my crotch.

285
00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:46,910
Marge, while Homer recuperates...

286
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,746
...I'm afraid you'll have to do everything
for him.

287
00:13:50,289 --> 00:13:51,415
That's okay.

288
00:13:51,790 --> 00:13:52,697
I can handle it.

289
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:56,190
Homie, why don't you just relax
and have a little soup?

290
00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:59,777
- Aah! Too hot. Too hot.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

291
00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:01,758
Aah! Hot. Hot. Hot.

292
00:14:02,176 --> 00:14:03,823
Warm. Tepid. Cool.

293
00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:07,337
Cold. Cold. So cold.

294
00:14:09,725 --> 00:14:12,144
Oh, you're really coming along,
Homie.

295
00:14:12,686 --> 00:14:14,511
Yeah. The doctor says
that soon my pelvis...

296
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:18,348
...will actually be stronger
and more beautiful than ever.

297
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,887
Gee, everything always works out
for you.

298
00:14:26,408 --> 00:14:27,430
[HOMER GRUNTS]

299
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:29,578
Aah! Oh, my God. Let me help you up.

300
00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:33,113
Marge, you're trying to hurt me.

301
00:14:33,749 --> 00:14:35,615
What? That's crazy.

302
00:14:36,084 --> 00:14:38,431
No, it's true. The car, the soup.

303
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,705
It's like you hate me,
your own husband.

304
00:14:42,299 --> 00:14:44,416
That's ridiculous. I don't like you.

305
00:14:44,927 --> 00:14:46,532
I mean hate you, hate you, hate you.

306
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:47,950
I hate you!

307
00:14:48,305 --> 00:14:51,339
I've heard that from coworkers,
strangers on the street...

308
00:14:51,975 --> 00:14:53,654
...even my own children.

309
00:14:54,102 --> 00:14:56,522
But I never thought
I'd hear it from you.

310
00:14:57,064 --> 00:14:58,670
Maybe we should see a counselor.

311
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:00,755
Who's we?
Got a mouse in your purse?

312
00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:09,503
Manjula, I'm so glad you have finally
forgiven me for having an affair.

313
00:15:10,244 --> 00:15:11,151
[GRUNTS]

314
00:15:11,495 --> 00:15:13,215
She used to elbow me in the face.

315
00:15:13,664 --> 00:15:14,571
[CHUCKLES]

316
00:15:15,499 --> 00:15:16,375
Next, please.

317
00:15:18,001 --> 00:15:20,264
I've been married to my husband
for 10 years...

318
00:15:20,796 --> 00:15:22,548
...and part of me wants to kill him.

319
00:15:23,006 --> 00:15:25,790
Perhaps you feel that your husband
sees you as less of a partner...

320
00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:27,480
...and more of a doormat?

321
00:15:27,845 --> 00:15:29,523
Nothing could be further from the...

322
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:33,559
You could be onto something there.

323
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,198
[HOMER DROOLING]

324
00:15:38,397 --> 00:15:40,336
What? Oh, sorry,
I got a lot on my mind.

325
00:15:40,816 --> 00:15:42,171
That's okay. Take your time.

326
00:15:44,736 --> 00:15:46,780
All right, before you came in,
I asked you each...

327
00:15:47,281 --> 00:15:49,950
...to make a list of the people
that are most important to you.

328
00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:52,254
- Homer, you first.
- There's Homer...

329
00:15:52,703 --> 00:15:56,217
...Homer J. Simpson,
and Commander Cool, a.k.a. me.

330
00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:58,448
That's us in a nutshell.

331
00:15:58,876 --> 00:16:01,253
I care so much about you, Homer.

332
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:03,474
But I'm not even on your list.

333
00:16:03,922 --> 00:16:04,944
Excuse me.

334
00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:08,677
We gotta help her.

335
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:10,804
If Marge isn't happy, I'm not happy.

336
00:16:11,263 --> 00:16:13,901
And if I'm not happy,
Moe is very happy.

337
00:16:14,474 --> 00:16:16,299
But for once, this isn't about Moe.

338
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:18,812
What should I do, Dr. Hotdog?

339
00:16:19,980 --> 00:16:21,294
All right, I have an answer.

340
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:25,277
You must perform for her
one completely unselfish gesture.

341
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:28,332
You mean, like give her full custody
of the kids?

342
00:16:28,864 --> 00:16:30,762
Yeah, full custody.
That's exactly what I...

343
00:16:31,241 --> 00:16:32,482
- You're an idiot.
- Unh.

344
00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:35,756
You gotta knock her off her feet
with something utterly romantic.

345
00:16:36,371 --> 00:16:38,895
Something that says,
"I care about you."

346
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:41,616
I see. Do you have any suggestions?

347
00:16:42,127 --> 00:16:44,796
- I do. But the hour's over.
- Here's a dollar.

348
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:46,913
- Romantic dinner.
- Gotta go.

349
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:51,126
You know what Mom really loves?
Julienne potatoes.

350
00:16:51,762 --> 00:16:53,555
And for dessert, peach crumble.

351
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:56,829
You wanna know how to make a peach
crumble? Kick it in the groin. Ha!

352
00:16:57,434 --> 00:16:58,644
Anyway, what's going on?

353
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:01,031
I'm gonna treat Marge
to a romantic dinner...

354
00:17:01,522 --> 00:17:03,461
...to make up for all my shortcomings.

355
00:17:03,941 --> 00:17:06,975
Hey, Homer, if you're having a banquet
for Marge, I'd like to help.

356
00:17:07,611 --> 00:17:09,404
Hey, me too.
I can whip up my famous...

357
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:13,377
...poulet au vin avec champignons
à la Carl. Mwah.

358
00:17:14,660 --> 00:17:16,015
You can bring a bag of ice.

359
00:17:17,829 --> 00:17:20,134
Lousy Homer. I'll show him.

360
00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:24,107
Tonight, his beloved mock apple pie
will have real apples.

361
00:17:24,962 --> 00:17:26,088
Wha...?

362
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:28,966
[GASPS]

363
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:34,127
Oh, my God. It's so beautiful.

364
00:17:34,763 --> 00:17:36,484
Hey, look, everybody, Marge is here.

365
00:17:36,932 --> 00:17:38,798
[ALL CHEERING]

366
00:17:39,268 --> 00:17:40,435
Oh, Homie.

367
00:17:40,811 --> 00:17:43,741
You got everyone in Springfield
here for me.

368
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:47,359
Honey, I couldn't keep them away
if I tried, except for Flanders.

369
00:17:47,985 --> 00:17:50,800
He was mysteriously
called out of town.

370
00:17:51,405 --> 00:17:52,906
[CHUCKLES]

371
00:17:57,286 --> 00:18:00,320
I got your letter.
I'm coming as fast as I can.

372
00:18:00,956 --> 00:18:02,749
Tonight, we're here to serve you.

373
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:06,284
Sit back and enjoy the finest foods
Springfield has to offer.

374
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,964
I brought you me finest catch
of the day.

375
00:18:09,464 --> 00:18:10,632
We lost a dozen good men.

376
00:18:11,008 --> 00:18:13,354
But it's worth it just to see ye smile.

377
00:18:13,886 --> 00:18:15,418
Wow!

378
00:18:16,597 --> 00:18:17,723
That's it, eh?

379
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,308
Twelve men.

380
00:18:19,683 --> 00:18:22,467
Well, I've got some families to inform.

381
00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:25,731
- Unbelievable...
- What?

382
00:18:26,315 --> 00:18:28,838
Nothing.
Just a curse on your very soul.

383
00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:32,258
Marge, I bring you the main course.

384
00:18:32,863 --> 00:18:36,116
Elektra recording artist-
slash-political activist...

385
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:37,764
...Jackson Browne.

386
00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,912
Oh, the Pretender.

387
00:18:40,370 --> 00:18:43,592
When Homer told me about this special
night, I just had to be a part of it.

388
00:18:44,249 --> 00:18:46,366
I'm here to serenade you with a song.

389
00:18:46,877 --> 00:18:48,191
ALL:
Yay!

390
00:18:48,587 --> 00:18:49,463
From my latest album.

391
00:18:49,796 --> 00:18:50,745
SKINNER: Oh, no.
ALL: Oh.

392
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:53,654
Just kidding.
Here's one of my many classics.

393
00:18:54,218 --> 00:18:56,084
That I fixed with new words.

394
00:18:56,553 --> 00:18:58,232
[PLAYING PIANO]

395
00:18:59,473 --> 00:19:01,735
[SINGING]
<i>You hooked up in high school</i>

396
00:19:02,267 --> 00:19:04,207
<i>Now you've come so far</i>

397
00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:12,382
<i>Then you started to hate him</i>
<i>And hit him with your car</i>

398
00:19:15,489 --> 00:19:19,076
<i>So I threw you a fancy banquet</i>

399
00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:22,788
<i>And now you can't stay mad</i>

400
00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:26,010
<i>How about a make-up snuggle?</i>

401
00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:28,648
<i>It would be so rad</i>

402
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:31,651
Oh, I'm really touched
by how much you care.

403
00:19:32,214 --> 00:19:33,715
I love you too.

404
00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:36,364
So, uh, you don't wanna kill me
anymore?

405
00:19:36,885 --> 00:19:39,596
- Only with kisses.
- Oh.

406
00:19:40,180 --> 00:19:41,275
Oh, don't be a wuss.

407
00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,433
JACKSON [SINGING]:
<i>When you turn out the light</i>

408
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:47,260
<i>I've got to hand it to me</i>

409
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:53,589
<i>It looks like it's me and you
again tonight</i> <i>Marjorie</i>

410
00:19:56,697 --> 00:19:57,792
[CROWD CHATTERING]

411
00:19:58,156 --> 00:20:00,127
[BAND PLAYING
SOFT INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]

412
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:01,493
[HOMER CLEARS THROAT]

413
00:20:01,827 --> 00:20:04,903
Now I'd like to propose a toast to
a woman who's done so much for us...

414
00:20:05,539 --> 00:20:08,907
- ...without getting anything in return.
- Except a place to live and free food.

415
00:20:09,585 --> 00:20:10,460
Why, you little...

416
00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:11,743
[BOTH GRUNT]

417
00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:13,808
Now let's all raise our wine boxes...

418
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:15,382
[BOTH GRUNT]

419
00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:17,551
...to Marge.

420
00:20:18,010 --> 00:20:20,272
ALL:
Hear, hear! To Marge!

421
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:31,325
Unh, I'm so full,
my control-top panel is in shards.

422
00:20:32,024 --> 00:20:33,004
[SIGHS]

423
00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:35,496
I wanna thank you all so much.

424
00:20:35,944 --> 00:20:39,385
You're welcome.
And now, Marge, we cooked, you clean.

425
00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:41,575
- What?
- Ha, ha, only teasing.

426
00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:46,903
We've flown in the finest busboys
from France... Uh, I mean, America.

427
00:20:47,789 --> 00:20:50,678
[ALL SPEAKING IN FRENCH
THEN LAUGHING]

428
00:20:51,293 --> 00:20:56,350
And now to all my dear friends,
I say, get the hell out of my yard.

429
00:20:57,633 --> 00:20:59,895
[CROWD GRUNTING
AND CHATTERING]

430
00:21:50,143 --> 00:21:51,238
WOMAN:
Shh.

431
00:21:56,692 --> 00:21:57,568
[English - US -SDH]