1
00:00:02,878 --> 00:00:05,224
CHORUS [SINGS]:
The Simpsons
2
00:00:05,756 --> 00:00:06,882
Moe Baby Blues
3
00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:11,053
D'oh! Ah!
4
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:16,141
HOMER:
Mm.
5
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:30,677
[LAUGHS]
6
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,961
Does anyone else wanna know
why that sign is so funny?
7
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:35,483
ALL:
No.
8
00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:40,113
Come on. We're gonna be late to the
blooming of the Sumatran Century Flower.
9
00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:43,137
How come Lisa always gets
to pick the family activities?
10
00:00:43,669 --> 00:00:46,703
Because I know every time you say
pick a number from one to 10...
11
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,215
...it's always seven.
12
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,811
That's because
there were seven apostles.
13
00:00:51,343 --> 00:00:52,657
No, there were 12.
14
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:56,056
Boy, that's a big staff.
And still he wasn't that funny.
15
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,068
[BUZZING]
16
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:01,155
"The Venus flytrap
is a carnivorous plant...
17
00:01:01,645 --> 00:01:06,108
...which uses bait to lure unsuspecting
prey into its digestive tract."
18
00:01:06,942 --> 00:01:08,068
[CHUCKLES]
19
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:09,538
Stupid prey.
20
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:11,874
They never suspect anything...
21
00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:13,574
Ooh, a hotdog.
22
00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:15,701
[HOMER GRUNTING]
23
00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,804
Flower power my ass.
24
00:01:25,294 --> 00:01:26,420
[MOE SIGHS]
25
00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:30,966
That's odd. It's 11:15 in the morning
and the bar is empty.
26
00:01:31,592 --> 00:01:33,854
I'm live at the Springfield
Botanical Gardens.
27
00:01:34,386 --> 00:01:37,462
We're minutes from the blossoming
of the Sumatran Century Flower...
28
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:40,402
...which occurs every 100 years.
29
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:44,563
MOE: Hey, those are my
customers-slash-only friends.
30
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,732
Where are they getting their beer?
31
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:50,465
CARL: Yeah.
- A cooler?
32
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:52,665
I've been replaced by a cooler?
33
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,980
And who can blame them? Ugh.
34
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:57,420
Ah, no point in moping around.
35
00:01:57,910 --> 00:02:00,840
I might as well join them
and have a jolly old time. Ha.
36
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,571
Oh, better set the alarm.
37
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:05,667
[COCKS]
38
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,388
[MOE PANTING]
39
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:08,837
[MOE SIGHS]
40
00:02:09,171 --> 00:02:11,142
Here I am, one of the crowd.
41
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:12,987
I'm comfortable, I'm calm.
42
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:16,240
Anybody looks at me,
I got a hypodermic full of bleach.
43
00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:21,266
Uh, people, we are officially
over capacity.
44
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:22,789
[CROWD CHATTERING]
45
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,269
We gotta kick one person out.
46
00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:26,584
Someone who's alone, already bitter...
47
00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:29,368
...someone who's been
trampled on so many times...
48
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,401
...one more won't make any...
Oh, Moe.
49
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:32,694
[SIGHS]
50
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:34,050
Yeah, that's me, all right.
51
00:02:34,404 --> 00:02:35,280
Sorry, Moe.
52
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:38,429
Either walk out with dignity
or I push you down this muddy hill.
53
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,442
I'd prefer that you push me...
54
00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:42,986
...seeing how I'm desperate
for any human contact.
55
00:02:43,497 --> 00:02:44,706
- All right.
- Thanks a lot.
56
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,875
[MOE GRUNTING]
57
00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:53,476
Ah! The flower's starting to open.
58
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,020
[CROWD CHATTERING]
59
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:01,890
Everyone, flare your nostrils
in olfactory anticipation.
60
00:03:08,647 --> 00:03:10,399
[ALL GROANING]
61
00:03:10,858 --> 00:03:12,797
Oh, man. The plant cut one.
62
00:03:13,277 --> 00:03:14,184
Bart, plants don't...
63
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,435
Whew!
64
00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:18,720
Ay-ay-ay!
65
00:03:19,074 --> 00:03:21,858
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
66
00:03:23,245 --> 00:03:26,978
Unh! That smells worse
than James Coco's ski boots.
67
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:32,379
Oh, yeah. That's mildly better.
68
00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,204
[BUZZING]
69
00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:36,456
[ALL SCREAMING]
70
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:41,753
Listen to those lucky people
enjoying that pretty flower.
71
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:46,018
I got nothing. Just this can.
72
00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:50,647
Ha. At least there's someone
worse off than me.
73
00:03:51,273 --> 00:03:52,701
[WOMAN GIGGLES]
74
00:03:53,692 --> 00:03:54,860
[SIGHS]
75
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,321
[SCREAMING]
76
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:05,516
[GRUNTS]
77
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,949
So long, suckers.
78
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,513
D'oh!
79
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:14,338
[HORNS HONKING]
80
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:18,154
Well, at least we're outside
instead of sitting at home watching TV.
81
00:04:18,842 --> 00:04:21,876
I hear that.
Hey, that car has a TV in it.
82
00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:27,882
MAN [ON TV]: We now return to
The Beverly Hillbillies Down Under.
83
00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:32,575
Hey, Granny. I'm gonna be
a professional didgeridoo player.
84
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:38,111
- Well, now it's a didgeri-don't.
- Oh, Granny.
85
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:42,115
- Can you put on the baseball game?
- My kids are watching a movie.
86
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:44,462
Oh, come on. Help a brother out.
87
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:47,913
Oh, why don't you call my secretary
and make an appointment, brother?
88
00:04:48,539 --> 00:04:50,843
A dream deferred is a dream denied.
89
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:52,251
[SNORING]
90
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:53,710
- Dad, the traffic's moving.
- Huh?
91
00:04:54,086 --> 00:04:55,733
Whoo-hoo! Pedal to the metal.
92
00:04:56,171 --> 00:04:57,485
[SCREECHING]
93
00:04:58,590 --> 00:05:00,019
[SCREAMS]
94
00:05:06,014 --> 00:05:06,890
[ALL GASP]
95
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,684
- My baby!
- Your baby!
96
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,772
[GRUNTING]
97
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,442
No!
98
00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:20,049
Well, this is it. The last call for Moe.
99
00:05:20,571 --> 00:05:22,364
[SOBBING]
100
00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:24,877
Ah, God.
101
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,151
Wha...?
102
00:05:28,579 --> 00:05:31,290
Moe, thank God you saved my baby.
103
00:05:31,874 --> 00:05:33,990
That hideous man is a hero.
104
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:35,711
[ALL CHEER]
105
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:49,047
Ha. Life don't seem so hard no more.
106
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,699
Maggie's in the paper with Moe.
107
00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,733
How cute.
108
00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:00,194
Ah! Look at those pants.
109
00:06:01,153 --> 00:06:03,499
They're standing up with no one in them.
110
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:05,532
[DOOR BELL RINGS]
111
00:06:06,283 --> 00:06:07,670
Hey, I was in the neighborhood...
112
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:10,162
...and, uh, thought I'd, you know,
check in on Maggie.
113
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,268
Moe, I'm glad you're here.
114
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:16,074
I wanted to thank you so much
for saving my baby.
115
00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:18,722
So I knitted you a nice warm sweater.
116
00:06:19,213 --> 00:06:20,964
Oh, look at that.
117
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:25,125
That's so soft and thoughtful and...
What's the gag? Is it full of chiggers?
118
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:28,993
No, no. All that's in there
is love and gratitude.
119
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:32,987
Aw, jeez, there's something in my eye.
120
00:06:33,519 --> 00:06:35,489
Oh, it's just some glass.
121
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,512
So how's the little tyke doing?
122
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:39,441
[COOING]
123
00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:41,568
[CHUCKLES]
124
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:42,882
Ain't she adorable?
125
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,477
[HORN HONKING]
126
00:06:44,863 --> 00:06:46,219
Oh, my God, I'm late for work.
127
00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:50,796
How you got in my carpool,
I'll never know.
128
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:55,707
The Swedish are coming!
The Swedish are coming!
129
00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,816
Oh, Lord, why do they keep
changing his medication?
130
00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:02,881
Look at me, I'm Speedy Alka Seltzer.
Whoa!
131
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:06,458
Moe, I gotta handle this.
Can you keep an eye on Maggie?
132
00:07:07,094 --> 00:07:10,316
Me? Uh, yeah. Sure. If you don't think
I'd spook her or nothing.
133
00:07:10,973 --> 00:07:12,724
No, you'll be fine.
134
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:16,290
- I'll be right back.
GRAMPA: They got lingonberries.
135
00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:18,762
So how's it going? Ha.
136
00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:23,443
Hey, you wanna see me, uh,
dislocate my arm?
137
00:07:23,986 --> 00:07:25,883
Here, take a look at this. Unh!
138
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:27,719
[GIGGLES]
139
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,596
It was years before I could do this
without fainting.
140
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:31,994
[CHUCKLES]
141
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:33,203
Still hurts.
142
00:07:33,537 --> 00:07:34,444
Grampa, stop!
143
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,144
Sayonara, Tojo.
144
00:07:36,540 --> 00:07:38,479
La, la, la, la, la.
145
00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,565
Oh, Lord.
146
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:48,187
Hey, Mag. Raggedy Andy over there
has been giving you the button eye.
147
00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:51,555
I'll get rid of him.
All right, come on. Out you go.
148
00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:54,443
Huh. I finally caught up with Grampa.
149
00:07:54,933 --> 00:07:56,904
I found him crying in the cemetery.
150
00:07:57,394 --> 00:07:58,854
Thanks for taking care of Maggie.
151
00:07:59,271 --> 00:08:00,366
Oh, no problem.
152
00:08:00,772 --> 00:08:03,296
You know, it gave me
kind of a good, warm feeling...
153
00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:05,976
...like when you get drunk
and fall asleep in snow.
154
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:07,435
Mm-hm.
155
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:09,354
Yeah, well, I better go.
156
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,680
There, there, Mags.
I'll be back sometime.
157
00:08:13,202 --> 00:08:14,077
[CRIES]
158
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:16,528
Wow. She really likes you.
159
00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:19,750
Maybe the next time I need a sitter
and you're not busy...
160
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:23,368
I'd love to. Uh, uh, let me
just check my schedule here.
161
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:27,779
I was gonna erase those apostrophes
and replace them with G's.
162
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:31,063
But that's about it.
So, you know, call anytime.
163
00:08:31,637 --> 00:08:32,513
[CRYING]
164
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:33,826
Why's she crying?
165
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:37,257
Oh, that's right. I still got her nose.
166
00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:39,864
Here you go, you little idiot.
167
00:08:40,354 --> 00:08:41,334
[GIGGLES]
168
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:44,577
Ball pit. That's nice.
169
00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:47,986
One, two, three colors.
You got them all.
170
00:08:49,321 --> 00:08:52,720
Oh, what a face.
She looks just like you.
171
00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:54,503
You calling her repellent?
172
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:56,078
Well, no, I was just...
173
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:58,247
You ain't Karen Allen yourself,
you know?
174
00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,749
You idiot, I was trying to pick you up.
175
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:02,157
Oh, great.
176
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:04,951
Uh, well, why don't you play
with the baby while I go rent a room?
177
00:09:05,504 --> 00:09:06,453
[GROANS]
178
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:10,394
Boy, that's one for the Christmas letter.
What a nut.
179
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,480
[QUEEN'S "YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND"
PLAYING]
180
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,346
Ooo, you make me live
181
00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:17,464
You're the best friend
182
00:09:17,808 --> 00:09:18,830
[NELSON LAUGHS]
183
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,394
That I ever had
184
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:21,645
[MOE GRUNTING]
185
00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:24,064
I've been with you such a long time
186
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,316
You're my sunshine
187
00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:28,808
LISA & HOMER:
Ah.
188
00:09:29,236 --> 00:09:30,445
Way to go, Mom.
189
00:09:30,821 --> 00:09:33,855
Homemade dim sum
with eight kinds of dipping sauce.
190
00:09:34,491 --> 00:09:36,358
This is the best Year of the Rat ever.
191
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:39,976
Well, I have so much free time
now that Moe's our babysitter.
192
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:44,251
Yeah, it's great that Maggie's
got a father figure in her life. She...
193
00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:48,401
- Hey, wait. That's supposed to be me.
- You could be my father figure.
194
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:52,123
No way. I'm not getting my fingerprints
on that train wreck.
195
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,689
But if I lose Maggie, I'm 0 for 3.
I've gotta get her back.
196
00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:58,901
- I can help you.
- I said pipe down, Amtrak.
197
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,476
Maggie, look what's in your ear.
198
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,729
A penny.
199
00:10:05,814 --> 00:10:08,379
Okay, we won't tell no one
about that.
200
00:10:08,942 --> 00:10:09,849
Now let's see.
201
00:10:10,194 --> 00:10:12,498
What else can we do?
We can't tickle Elmo no more.
202
00:10:13,030 --> 00:10:13,906
Coochie, coochie coo!
203
00:10:14,239 --> 00:10:15,814
ELMO DOLL:
No means no for Elmo.
204
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,117
Ow!
205
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:20,527
And this Slinky, these things
are fun for about two seconds.
206
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:27,023
Yeah, that's it. Slink away.
207
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:29,703
Hmm.
208
00:10:30,047 --> 00:10:31,579
"Alice in Wonderland," huh?
209
00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:35,583
Ah, this must be a takeoff on that
Alice in Underpants movie I saw.
210
00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,504
Ha. It's nice to be with someone...
211
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,017
...who can't understand
the horrible things I say.
212
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:46,063
White rabbit,
chicks popping mushrooms?
213
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:48,732
This is like the Playboy Mansion.
214
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:53,904
Uh, maybe I can think of a story, uh,
more suitable for a baby.
215
00:10:54,613 --> 00:10:55,968
Oh, I got one.
216
00:10:56,365 --> 00:10:58,930
It starts out with a beautiful wedding.
217
00:10:59,493 --> 00:11:03,194
But the father of the bride
was nowhere to be seen.
218
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:08,220
He was granting favors
to all of his bestest buddies.
219
00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:10,566
We could scare that movie producer...
220
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,798
...by putting a horse's blanket
in his bed.
221
00:11:13,257 --> 00:11:15,749
Imagine waking up and seeing
you got the wrong blanket.
222
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:18,460
Uh, how about a horse's head?
223
00:11:18,971 --> 00:11:21,609
Oh, you see here?
That's why you're the Godfather.
224
00:11:23,392 --> 00:11:25,331
And the Godfather's playing
with his grandson, see?
225
00:11:25,811 --> 00:11:28,991
So he sticks an orange in his mouth
like this.
226
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,442
[GROWLS]
227
00:11:32,943 --> 00:11:34,111
[GIGGLES]
228
00:11:34,486 --> 00:11:37,082
Okay, and now it's intermission.
229
00:11:37,656 --> 00:11:38,970
[GROANS]
230
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,817
Give me a break, will you?
It's a frigging saga.
231
00:11:43,328 --> 00:11:44,569
Don Barzini gets whacked.
232
00:11:44,955 --> 00:11:47,186
Tessio.
Ho, ho, you won't see him no more.
233
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,647
Moe Greene, bam,
he gets it right in the eye.
234
00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:52,838
And Michael
is now the new Godfather.
235
00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:54,371
[SIGHS]
236
00:11:54,715 --> 00:11:57,134
And he shuts the door on Annie Hall.
237
00:11:57,676 --> 00:11:59,355
[CRYING]
238
00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:01,096
[WHIMPERING]
239
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,734
Oh, no. No, baby. No, no.
Uh, uh...
240
00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:05,173
Okay, part two.
241
00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:08,885
Little Anthony is having
his first communion at Lake Tahoe.
242
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:12,305
Meanwhile, Michael
can't get a gaming license.
243
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:16,486
But Senator Geary's got one weakness,
call girls.
244
00:12:17,196 --> 00:12:18,144
[GIGGLES]
245
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:19,656
That's right.
246
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:26,027
This party's boring.
Everything here is for babies.
247
00:12:26,705 --> 00:12:30,261
I'm helping Daddy.
Lisa, it says, "One year and up."
248
00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,451
Oh, there she is, the birthday girl.
249
00:12:34,004 --> 00:12:36,527
Oh, your mommy tied
a bow for you, huh?
250
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,249
Well, I'd better retie it,
the way you like it.
251
00:12:40,052 --> 00:12:42,022
[MAGGIE COOS
AND MARGE GROANS]
252
00:12:42,513 --> 00:12:45,224
I know it don't seem like it matters,
but she hates looking like crap.
253
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:46,683
Uh-huh.
254
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:50,865
Hey, hey, hey, OshKosh B'gosh,
she don't want what you're shoveling.
255
00:12:51,522 --> 00:12:55,254
Mr. Moe, my son was only playing next
to this girl who is not your daughter.
256
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:59,165
Yeah, sure he was,
Nahasapasa-I'm-Raising-A-Pervert.
257
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,084
Back off, Moe.
Maggie wants to be with me.
258
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:04,201
[GRUNTING]
259
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:07,371
This is how we play.
260
00:13:07,829 --> 00:13:09,988
[SINGING]
The squirmy wormy spider
261
00:13:10,499 --> 00:13:13,064
Squirts out of Daddy's hands
262
00:13:13,627 --> 00:13:17,840
Daddy feels rejected
He's gonna eat some cake
263
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:22,553
Oh, a rattle. Thank you, Selma.
264
00:13:23,262 --> 00:13:25,754
Yeah, great present, Selma.
Nice of you to break a five.
265
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,319
Ah, get a neck, Frankenstein.
266
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:30,696
Hey, open my present.
Open my present.
267
00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:35,586
Ha, it's Uncle Moe's play tavern,
with classic drunk Barney.
268
00:13:36,275 --> 00:13:38,391
Even the toilet is broken.
269
00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:42,155
I don't know if toy drunkards
are an appropriate gift for a baby.
270
00:13:42,823 --> 00:13:44,835
Sure, they are. They even talk. Look.
271
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:47,546
HOMER:
I peed my pants.
272
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:50,226
I recorded that for private use.
273
00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,207
[MAGGIE CRYING OVER MONITOR]
274
00:13:54,126 --> 00:13:57,275
- Your turn.
- No, it's your turn.
275
00:13:57,921 --> 00:13:59,673
MOE:
I got it. It's okay.
276
00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:05,106
Moe? What are you doing here?
277
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,671
Maggie was crying.
I heard her on my baby monitor.
278
00:14:08,182 --> 00:14:11,216
You have your own baby monitor
in our child's room?
279
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:15,731
Yeah, I had to. It's so weird watching
the video and not getting any sound.
280
00:14:17,441 --> 00:14:18,901
That's it, Moe. This is too weird.
281
00:14:19,318 --> 00:14:21,361
You are not allowed
to see Maggie anymore.
282
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:24,354
Well, can I at least give her
this mobile?
283
00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:25,960
[MOBILE PLAYS "YANKEE DOODLE"]
284
00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:28,587
- Huh? Huh?
- Get your own family, Moe.
285
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:32,445
Hey, you never cared about Maggie
till I started paying attention to her.
286
00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:35,386
Last night at the bar,
you called her Raquel.
287
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:38,806
- Get out.
- Is that, uh, "get out" like "leave"?
288
00:14:39,421 --> 00:14:43,050
Or "get out" as in, "Get out,
you banged Bridget Fonda?"
289
00:14:43,759 --> 00:14:44,635
Get out.
290
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:47,617
Get out. That... Okay.
291
00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:51,068
Unh. Maybe I can catch a late show
of Alice in Underpants...
292
00:14:51,683 --> 00:14:53,769
...or maybe
Put 'Em On The Looking Glass.
293
00:14:58,190 --> 00:14:59,504
Boy, I'm like a mess here.
294
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,839
I feel so lonely without that kid.
295
00:15:02,319 --> 00:15:03,706
You still got us, Moe.
296
00:15:07,282 --> 00:15:09,253
You guys mind if I, uh,
kiss your tummies?
297
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:11,828
BARNEY & LENNY: Oh.
CARL: Hmm.
298
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:14,039
[SIGHS]
299
00:15:14,373 --> 00:15:15,426
Here comes the airplane.
300
00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:17,292
[MOE MAKES WHIRRING SOUND]
301
00:15:17,709 --> 00:15:19,503
All gone.
302
00:15:20,254 --> 00:15:22,965
[SINGING] Toys and kicks
And pets and brotherhood
303
00:15:23,799 --> 00:15:26,061
[SOBS]
304
00:15:26,593 --> 00:15:27,803
It's our song.
305
00:15:28,971 --> 00:15:32,005
Now there'll be no more trouble
from that meddlesome bartender.
306
00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:36,040
Yeah. You know,
looking at this sweet, precious child...
307
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:39,293
...makes me wanna have
one of our own.
308
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:45,008
TONY: Tonight, I want you boys
to take out the Castellaneta family.
309
00:15:46,697 --> 00:15:50,211
Uh, I don't know, boss.
My passion for whacking is waning.
310
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:53,328
Perhaps this will cheer you up.
311
00:15:54,288 --> 00:15:55,747
[GROWLS]
312
00:15:56,164 --> 00:15:57,259
[COOS]
313
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,345
[ALL CHUCKLE]
314
00:15:59,793 --> 00:16:02,358
Oh, that's better.
I could whack my own mother now.
315
00:16:02,921 --> 00:16:04,350
I'm glad you brought that up.
316
00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:08,156
Kill my mother?
She makes such good pasta sauce.
317
00:16:08,844 --> 00:16:11,367
- It comes from a can.
- She's a corpse.
318
00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:22,003
[HUMMING]
319
00:16:24,109 --> 00:16:24,985
MARGE:
Huh?
320
00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:26,372
[SCREAMS]
321
00:16:27,613 --> 00:16:29,959
What are you screaming about?
Did you discover my snake farm?
322
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:31,366
Because I can explain.
323
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,931
I'm going to farm and sell snakes.
324
00:16:34,453 --> 00:16:35,548
Maggie's gone.
325
00:16:35,913 --> 00:16:37,153
Ah! It must've been Moe.
326
00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:42,878
He's got your kid. But don't worry.
Everything is gonna be okay.
327
00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:45,130
[BOTH SCREAM]
328
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:47,101
Scum, freezebag.
329
00:16:47,466 --> 00:16:48,561
[MOE GASPS
AND WIGGUM CHUCKLES]
330
00:16:48,926 --> 00:16:52,252
I mean, freeze, scumbag.
You can't write stuff like that.
331
00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:54,577
See, that's why sitcoms are dying.
332
00:16:55,140 --> 00:16:56,892
[GRUNTING]
333
00:16:59,061 --> 00:17:00,156
Chief, it's just a ham.
334
00:17:00,521 --> 00:17:01,907
- Oh, thank goodness.
- Oh.
335
00:17:02,314 --> 00:17:05,567
Well, boys. Looks like we solved
the case of the missing ham. Let's go.
336
00:17:06,235 --> 00:17:08,320
No, we have to find my baby.
337
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:09,874
Oh, Maggie's missing?
338
00:17:10,239 --> 00:17:13,492
You gotta let me help find her, please.
We have a special bond.
339
00:17:14,159 --> 00:17:16,464
Greater than her bond
with the duck-shaped washcloth.
340
00:17:17,162 --> 00:17:18,664
Okay, you can help us.
341
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:21,051
Well, I think we know
when we're not needed.
342
00:17:21,542 --> 00:17:24,253
You guys are the world's worst cops.
343
00:17:24,837 --> 00:17:29,560
No. Now that I'm off duty,
I'm the world's worst soccer coach. Ha.
344
00:17:30,425 --> 00:17:31,593
[DOGS BARKING]
345
00:17:31,969 --> 00:17:33,981
Wow, Maggie crawled
through these bushes...
346
00:17:34,471 --> 00:17:36,994
...spit up over here
and crashed her tricycle into the wall.
347
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:40,029
Uh, no, that was me.
348
00:17:40,561 --> 00:17:44,002
Here's a clue.
A discarded orange wedge.
349
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:45,785
Orange wedge?
350
00:17:46,149 --> 00:17:48,047
[GROWLING]
351
00:17:49,486 --> 00:17:52,155
Marge, do mobsters
ever congregate outside your house?
352
00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:55,086
All the time.
Sometimes I bring them lemonade.
353
00:17:55,617 --> 00:17:57,963
Listen. We might have
to make a trip to Little Italy.
354
00:17:58,495 --> 00:18:00,028
I'll get our little passports.
355
00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:10,153
So you see, you have no choice
but to sell out to me.
356
00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:14,501
Oops. Clumsy me.
357
00:18:15,012 --> 00:18:18,526
I will consider your proposal
in the restroom as I tidy up.
358
00:18:19,224 --> 00:18:20,319
Boys?
359
00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:22,769
[IN UNISON]
Oops. Clumsy us.
360
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:25,981
We must all go to the restroom too.
361
00:18:27,232 --> 00:18:29,683
Those fellas should really consider
sippy cups.
362
00:18:30,235 --> 00:18:32,727
Look, boss. It's a baby.
363
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:36,095
Oh, a bambino.
Or is it a bambina?
364
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:38,671
I no speak any language so good.
365
00:18:39,161 --> 00:18:41,424
We have considered your proposal.
366
00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:44,187
And our answer is no.
367
00:18:44,708 --> 00:18:46,679
Boss, they hid guns
in the men's room.
368
00:18:47,628 --> 00:18:49,974
Oh, clumsy me. I dropped my fork.
369
00:18:50,506 --> 00:18:53,217
Boys, help me pick it up.
370
00:18:54,218 --> 00:18:55,750
[GUNS COCK]
371
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:57,679
Now, hold on here.
372
00:18:58,096 --> 00:19:00,620
I'm president of the Italian-American
Anti-Defamation League.
373
00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:04,009
And this really burns my cannoli.
374
00:19:11,318 --> 00:19:12,194
[GASPS]
375
00:19:12,528 --> 00:19:16,114
Maggie's right in the middle of that
Italian-American-Mexican standoff.
376
00:19:16,823 --> 00:19:19,243
- Oh, my God, I gotta save her.
- No. You got a family.
377
00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:21,505
I'm the guy with nothing and no one.
378
00:19:21,954 --> 00:19:23,559
No, no. Don't try to stop me.
379
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:27,000
We're not. Your sleeve got caught
on that tree. Here, let me unhook you.
380
00:19:27,626 --> 00:19:29,419
- Off you go.
- Yeah, thanks.
381
00:19:32,923 --> 00:19:34,935
[GUNS COCKING]
382
00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:38,866
Gee, ha. This is the second most
guns ever pointed at me.
383
00:19:40,264 --> 00:19:43,121
A couple of weeks ago,
I wouldn't have minded if you shot me.
384
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:46,801
But all that's changed
because of this little girl here.
385
00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,481
Look at her. Ain't she a doll?
386
00:19:51,608 --> 00:19:54,684
[ALL SOBBING]
387
00:19:57,906 --> 00:20:02,004
I ain't cried like this
since I paid to see Godfather III.
388
00:20:04,830 --> 00:20:05,998
Here's your baby back.
389
00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:09,042
Thanks, Moe. I'm sorry
we thought you were a baby-napper.
390
00:20:09,626 --> 00:20:11,493
Or worse. Am I right?
391
00:20:11,962 --> 00:20:14,600
Uh, hey, hey, the important thing
is little Maggie is safe.
392
00:20:17,092 --> 00:20:18,260
[SIGHS]
393
00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:20,210
Well, uh, I gotta get home.
394
00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:23,745
Uh, there might be a telemarketer
calling or something. Um...
395
00:20:25,017 --> 00:20:27,978
I'll see you when you're old enough
to drink, okay, Magpie?
396
00:20:28,604 --> 00:20:30,397
Oh, great. I'm caught in another tree.
397
00:20:30,856 --> 00:20:33,598
Lousy, shirt-grabbing,
sap-dripping... Wha...?
398
00:20:35,027 --> 00:20:37,289
I don't think Maggie
wants you out of her life, Moe.
399
00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:40,678
Moe, I was thinking, if Maggie
and I were in the neighborhood...
400
00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:43,546
...maybe we could drop by
and have a playdate...
401
00:20:44,953 --> 00:20:46,778
...with you and your ham.
402
00:20:47,581 --> 00:20:48,634
We'd like that, Homer.
403
00:20:48,999 --> 00:20:50,428
[QUEEN'S "YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND"
PLAYING]
404
00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:52,482
Ooo, you make me live
405
00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:56,976
Whatever this world can give to me
406
00:20:57,799 --> 00:21:00,615
It's you, you're all I see
407
00:21:02,054 --> 00:21:05,380
Ooo, you make me live now honey
408
00:21:06,058 --> 00:21:08,654
Ooo, you make me live
409
00:21:50,769 --> 00:21:52,156
WOMAN:
Shh.
410
00:21:57,276 --> 00:21:58,151
[English - US -SDH]