1
00:00:03,240 --> 00:00:06,369
<i>(SINGING) The Simpsons</i>

2
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:07,601
(TIRES SCREECHING)

3
00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:10,401
D'oh!

4
00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:11,481
(SCREAMS)

5
00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:12,721
(BRAKES SCREECHING)

6
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:16,045
ALL: Huh?
D'oh!

7
00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:17,241
(GRUNTING)

8
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:34,767
Check it out, girls.
Sixty-eight squares
of ankle-busting fury.

9
00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:37,361
That's right.
A double dog-leg,

10
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:39,847
hamstring-knotting,
hop-way to hell.

11
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,330
LISA: What insane kangaroo
dreamed this
fevered nightmare?

12
00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:45,810
Behold!

13
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,481
Ladies, grab your pebbles.

14
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:52,126
GIRLS: Mmm.

15
00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:53,886
(GIGGLING)

16
00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:55,564
What?
Nothing.

17
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:58,766
(SHERRI GIGGLES)

18
00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:00,763
Lisa has a big butt.

19
00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,808
(CHANTING)
Lisa has a big butt.

20
00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:04,644
Shut up! I do not!

21
00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:07,007
Oh, no. Don't make Lisa mad!

22
00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,970
She might crush us
all with her giant butt!

23
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,927
Shut up, you! Stop teasing
the big-bottomed lass.

24
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:18,289
She's just as God made her,
plump as a Christmas goose.

25
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,484
Dad, the kids at
school said my butt's big.

26
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:25,525
That's ridiculous, honey.
You're the cutest
little girl I know.

27
00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:29,042
You just have
what is known
as the Simpson butt.

28
00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,605
Permit me to elaborate.

29
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,523
Every Simpson
starts with a circle.

30
00:01:33,840 --> 00:01:38,607
Daddy has one big circle here.
Then a smaller one up here.

31
00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:42,401
Two big sexy
circles for eyes.

32
00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:46,280
One macho muzzle.
And a snappy new outfit.

33
00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:49,762
Ooh. I'm looking good.
Ooh. Cuffs, yeah.

34
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:55,689
And for some reason,
my hair and ear
form an "M" and a "G."

35
00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,722
Party, party, party, party!

36
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:02,482
Hmm? You want to know
a little trick?

37
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:06,366
To downsize my derriere,
I just tie a sweater
around it.

38
00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:08,727
See?

39
00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:09,841
(GASPS)

40
00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:13,641
(IN FEMALE VOICE)
"Oh, Homer. You're wasting
away to nothing.

41
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,961
"You simply must
eat something."

42
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:17,883
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
Well, you're the boss!

43
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,845
(IN FEMALE VOICE)
"Oh! I love to see
my man eat!"

44
00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:25,927
Check it out, Homes.

45
00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:30,250
You said if I ever
got 100 on a test,
you'd throw me a party.

46
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,247
There's my 100.
Where's my party?

47
00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:38,160
(SCOFFS) Nice try, loser!
I bet you made up a fake test.

48
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:39,605
Nope. It's real.

49
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:40,727
Check out the watermark.

50
00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:41,801
All right.

51
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,645
HOMER: D'oh!

52
00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:47,886
A-ha!

53
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,121
Here's a mistake.

54
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:52,568
It says the capital of
Kentucky is Frankfort.

55
00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:53,641
(LAUGHS DERISIVELY)

56
00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:54,807
Dream on, pal.

57
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,451
Homer, the capital of Kentucky
is Frankfort.

58
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:01,446
Really? Frankfort-er.
Is that anything?

59
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:04,448
Uh, yes, it's something, dear.

60
00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,648
See, it's all legit.
Now make with the party.

61
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,768
All right, boy!
Which con did you work here?

62
00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:11,281
Copy off another kid?
Pay attention and take notes?

63
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:14,529
Well, take note of this.

64
00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:15,965
(CHOKING)

65
00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,166
(CHUCKLES)

66
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,446
(CHOKING)

67
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:19,721
(CHUCKLES)

68
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,283
(SIGHS)
Bart really did get 100.

69
00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:23,964
I gave a test
on state capitals

70
00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:25,684
but I forgot to
roll up the map.

71
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,131
Everyone got 100.

72
00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:31,802
I win! P-A-R-T! Par-t!
(BLOWING)

73
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:36,047
People, please.
It's a school night.

74
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:37,121
I thought you two broke up.

75
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,370
(SCOFFS)
This means nothing.

76
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,050
Yes, yes.
You've made that quite clear.

77
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:44,922
Maybe a different outfit
would make me look thinner.

78
00:03:45,280 --> 00:03:46,361
Hmm.

79
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,046
(MOANS)

80
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:59,283
This store makes me feel
even worse about myself.

81
00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:00,930
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

82
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,251
Oh!

83
00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:13,604
I heard she's back
to her birth weight.

84
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,170
Must be nice.

85
00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:16,367
Ew.

86
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:20,089
No, no.
The body on this
mannequin is all wrong.

87
00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,489
I know.
It's such an unrealistic
standard for young...

88
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:24,841
Huh?

89
00:04:24,920 --> 00:04:26,649
<i>(SINGING)
Planing down the thighs</i>

90
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:28,165
<i>Planing down the thighs</i>

91
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:31,767
<i>I make four bucks an hour
planing down the thighs</i>

92
00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,802
Hey, I don't look so bad.

93
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:43,327
Don't worry, Lisa.
You can still find
someone to love you.

94
00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,801
Now you've got no choice.
(CHUCKLES)

95
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,689
No!

96
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,807
Oh, boy! Barty's gonna party!

97
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:54,800
He sure is if he can keep up
with these party animals.

98
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:59,090
Aunt Patty, Aunt Selma,
Grandma Bouvier and...

99
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,964
(SCATTING)

100
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,008
Grampa!

101
00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:04,650
(SNORING)

102
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,042
Plus your schoolyard chums,
Martin and Ralph.

103
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,288
Bart's my bestest boy friend.

104
00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:13,248
Oh, Mom.
This guest list sucks.

105
00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:16,369
Well,
it was the best I could do
on such short notice.

106
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:18,406
(GROANS) Where's Milhouse?

107
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:22,246
He's got the measles.
But we've got him
on speaker phone.

108
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,091
MILHOUSE: <i>(DISTORTED) Rock on!
You know, the first time</i>

109
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,931
<i>I met Bart was at
recess in first grade.</i>

110
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,925
Oh, I told him
to use a land line.

111
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,683
Okay, gang.
Let's get this
party started.

112
00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:37,768
Or should I say "Barted."

113
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:39,764
Eh? Mmm.

114
00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:43,521
For our first game,

115
00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:47,321
I need everyone
to draw a picture
of President Eisenhower.

116
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,370
(RALPH HUMS)

117
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:52,284
I drew him with
Canadian Prime Minster
Louis St. Laurent.

118
00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:54,761
Their relationship
was frosty at best.

119
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:56,406
(GROANS)

120
00:05:58,080 --> 00:06:03,080
Duck, duck, duck, duck.

121
00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:10,808
Say "goose," you stupid freak!

122
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,890
(CRYING)

123
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:17,170
(GROANS)

124
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:27,371
Oh, Mom. This was
the worst party ever.

125
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:29,090
(MOANS)

126
00:06:29,320 --> 00:06:31,800
Gee, I did
the best I could.

127
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:33,805
Ah! Here's Lisa!

128
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:38,329
She'll save the party!
Honey, sit down.
Have a big slice of cake!

129
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:42,969
What?
I'm not fat enough already?
How could you say that to me?

130
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:44,321
(CRYING)

131
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:46,325
Lisa, wait!

132
00:06:48,560 --> 00:06:50,085
(GRUNTING)

133
00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,647
MILHOUSE: <i>Hello? Hello?</i>

134
00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:02,089
<i>I had to leave because
my French bread pizza dinged.
Hello?</i>

135
00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:07,240
Duck, duck, duck, duck.

136
00:07:19,200 --> 00:07:21,726
Oh, what's the big deal?
Bart didn't like his presents.

137
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:24,451
So what?
It's not like he
gives us such great gifts.

138
00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,329
Remember that
maple leaf ironed

139
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,204
between the sheets
of wax paper?

140
00:07:28,280 --> 00:07:30,521
What was that?
That was crap.

141
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:35,441
Aw, It's not just the
presents. The kids don't
appreciate me anymore.

142
00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:38,086
They'd rather hang
out with their friends
than with their mom.

143
00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:40,044
So they're growing up.

144
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:41,610
Soon they'll be
leaving the nest

145
00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:43,210
and you'll have
time for yourself.

146
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:46,291
Hundreds of
thousands of hours.

147
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:49,290
And then
the peace of the grave.

148
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:53,520
No! No, I've got a lot more
mothering left in me!

149
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,409
I'll be right here at
3:00 to pick you up.

150
00:07:56,640 --> 00:07:58,085
Then I'll take you to the zoo.

151
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,845
We can eat fries
out of a safari hat!

152
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,728
No, thanks.
I'm gonna stay in the library
and do a little reading.

153
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:06,761
MARGE: Hmm.

154
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,283
Well, I guess it's
just you and me, Bart.

155
00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,886
Mom, after that
lame party you threw,

156
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,883
I'd rather hang out
with thunder thighs here.

157
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:15,486
(GRUNTS)

158
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:19,088
Mmm, they grow up so fast.

159
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,924
They're just
asserting their independence.

160
00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:23,447
If a child doesn't do it now,
it may never happen.

161
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,966
Seymour!
Do you want your
vitamin in applesauce

162
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:28,520
or are you gonna
take it like a big boy?

163
00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:29,965
Applesauce.

164
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,611
(MAGGIE SQUEALS)

165
00:08:33,720 --> 00:08:36,883
Oh, sure. You love me
now but you'll turn.

166
00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,883
(GRUNTING)

167
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,009
Stop struggling
and get in my mouth, jerks!

168
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,445
Aren't you the boy
who beats up my son?

169
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:47,124
Probably. What's your name?

170
00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:48,241
Simpson.

171
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:49,361
Oh, yeah.

172
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:53,968
Bart Simpson.
Spiky hair, soft kidneys,
always hitting himself.

173
00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:55,881
(SIGHS)

174
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:57,689
Those tadpoles are your lunch?

175
00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,529
Technically brunch.

176
00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:04,086
Well, here. Take this.
My daughter didn't
want the lunch I made.

177
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:06,965
(SNIFFING)

178
00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:18,522
Oh, this sandwich rocks.
My tadpoles seem
crude by comparison.

179
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,927
Ha-ha! You're nocturnal.

180
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,083
You don't have to impress me
by making fun of others.

181
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,400
I already like you.

182
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:34,806
Ha-ha!

183
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,963
I'm starting to let
down my guard. Ha-ha!

184
00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:45,802
Thanks, Mrs. S.
Today didn't
totally suck nard.

185
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,127
It's nice to be appreciated.

186
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:52,006
Uh, whatever.
Take it sleazy.

187
00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,206
Mom?

188
00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,888
Nelson?
I thought you were sleeping
in the park tonight.

189
00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,531
Oh, that's okay.
The kid don't
bother me none.

190
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,001
Hey, Nelson.
Say hello to Moe.

191
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,287
He said he'd take
you camping sometime.

192
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,885
(CHUCKLES)
I said I might.

193
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,201
Hey, kids. I just heard
they canceled league night

194
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:20,124
down at the bowling alley.
You know what that means?

195
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,043
Open lanes!

196
00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,330
(GRUNTING)

197
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,085
What do you say?
It'll be BLAM!

198
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:32,210
Bart-Lisa-and-Mom! Huh?

199
00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,409
Mom, when I want
lame and needy,
I'll call Milhouse.

200
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,249
No offense.
Fine.

201
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,721
I'll take my
mothering elsewhere.

202
00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,163
Yeah!

203
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,169
Ooh, great roll, Nelson.

204
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:49,528
Here, I cut up
your hotdog for you.

205
00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,770
Wow! Hotdogs are awesome!

206
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:56,844
You've never had one before?

207
00:10:56,920 --> 00:10:59,161
No. But I saw some
in a catalog once.

208
00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:01,846
People in sweaters
were eating them at a picnic.

209
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,651
(SLURPS)

210
00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:13,647
So my mom works at Hooters.

211
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:17,202
But her dream
is to go to Vegas
and work in a real strip club.

212
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:18,766
(GROANS)

213
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,760
And where's your
dad in all this?

214
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,451
He went out for
a pack of cigarettes
and never came back.

215
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:28,605
He said, "Smell you later."
But he never smelled me again!

216
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,285
(SOBS)

217
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:32,803
Nelson, how would
you like to earn

218
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:34,883
some extra money
around our house?

219
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,406
I have some odd
jobs my kids won't do.

220
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:39,090
Yeah.

221
00:11:39,160 --> 00:11:41,242
I get the feeling
Bart isn't everything

222
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:43,442
he could be in
the son department.

223
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:46,727
Uh, sometimes I think
he's more interested

224
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,127
in his Itchy and Mitchy
cartoons than me.

225
00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,687
Hey, I'm sure
it's just a phase.

226
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,484
Like when I used to
stand on the overpass

227
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,290
and drop computers
on the freeway.

228
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,723
Uh-huh. That's how
we got our Kaypro!

229
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,610
LISA: 64, 65, 66.

230
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,370
Hey, Lisa.

231
00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:05,808
Are you counting
how many days it takes
to wash your big butt?

232
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,530
(BOTH GIGGLING)

233
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:09,730
I can't hear you.

234
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,087
That's because your
butt blocks your ears.

235
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:13,925
That doesn't make any sense.

236
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,490
Neither does your butt!

237
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:17,211
(GIGGLING)

238
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,526
(GRUNTS)

239
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,208
I know this
obsession with thinness

240
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,448
is unhealthy
and anti-feminist.

241
00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:26,571
But that's what
a fat girl would say.

242
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:27,681
Lise, look!

243
00:12:28,360 --> 00:12:29,691
(GASPS)

244
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:39,846
Now I know there's
a handsome young man behind
all that hair and dirt.

245
00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:45,363
Hmm. Maybe not.

246
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,886
But you did a great job
on the lawn!

247
00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:50,770
Thanks, dingus.
I mean, ma'am.

248
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:55,323
My mother. My bully. My God!

249
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:58,366
Lisa, just take a bite.

250
00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,285
One bite,
that's all I ask.

251
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:02,886
(GROANS)

252
00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,442
Now I can't have
toothpaste tonight.

253
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:11,886
Oh!

254
00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,248
(DOORBELL RINGS)

255
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,403
Here's the money
you gave my son.

256
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,482
We don't want your charity.

257
00:13:20,560 --> 00:13:22,403
I didn't give
your son charity.

258
00:13:22,560 --> 00:13:24,289
I gave him self-respect.

259
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,042
(SCOFFS)
Self-respect, huh?

260
00:13:27,160 --> 00:13:29,322
No wonder he came
home with his vest

261
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,602
all buttoned like
he was somebody.

262
00:13:33,560 --> 00:13:36,040
Go home to your son,
Mrs. Muntz.

263
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:39,169
And try not to
have intercourse
on the way!

264
00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,006
(MEOWS)

265
00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,451
Nelson, what are you
doing out this late?

266
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:03,525
My mom ditched me.
She went to Hollywood
to be an actress.

267
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,410
But her range is limited.

268
00:14:06,560 --> 00:14:08,244
(SOBS)

269
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:09,521
Oh!

270
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:12,444
She's still your mother.
Come inside.

271
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,566
Hmm?

272
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,564
Can I get you
a glass of milk?

273
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:20,649
Cow milk?

274
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,566
Uh-huh.

275
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:25,770
(YAWNS)

276
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,041
(BART GASPS)

277
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:31,248
What are you
doing in myjammies?

278
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:33,488
I'm your new roommate.
I call top bunk.

279
00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,924
But it's a single bed.

280
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,401
I said top bunk!

281
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,962
(HUMMING)

282
00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:52,281
Mom, the reason God
invented deadbolts

283
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:55,284
is to keep
people like Nelson
out of your house.

284
00:14:55,560 --> 00:14:58,643
Bart, have you ever
eaten a Tootsie Pop?

285
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:01,326
You know there's
a tough crunchy shell.

286
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:05,962
But if you lick it,
there's a delicious
sweetness inside.

287
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,320
Be nice to Nelson
and I'll give
you a Tootsie Pop.

288
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,527
Morning, losers.
Mrs. Simpson.

289
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,442
Pancakes! My favorite!

290
00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:19,244
(MUNCHING)

291
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,687
Bart, eat up or
you'll be late for school.

292
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,843
I'm not hungry.
(GRUNTS)

293
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,968
You heard the lady!
Clean your plate!

294
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:31,362
Savor it.
Let the flavors
dance on your palate.

295
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:33,165
Mmm, mmm.

296
00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:44,127
ANNOUNCER: <i>Next</i> on <i>ABC.</i>
Who's Dropping by
to See George Lopez?

297
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:45,964
<i>We Pray it's you!</i>

298
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,486
Open.

299
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:50,409
Nelson, doesn't that
hurt your teeth?

300
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:54,684
(SHRUGS) My teeth hurt
all the time. I just try
to think about motorcycles.

301
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,087
I don't like
the sound of that.

302
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,441
Tomorrow I'm taking you
to Dr. Shapiro.

303
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:03,724
A doctor? For your teeth?
What's next?
A lawyer for your hair?

304
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:05,405
(SNIGGERING)

305
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,090
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

306
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:14,883
NELSON: <i>(SINGING)
Papa, can you hear me?</i>

307
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,811
<i>Papa, can you see me?</i>

308
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:26,885
<i>Papa, can you
find me in the night?</i>

309
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:30,047
<i>Papa, are you near me?</i>

310
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:32,202
<i>Papa, can you hear me?</i>

311
00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:38,767
<i>Papa, can you help me
not be frightened?</i>

312
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:43,410
<i>Looking at the skies
I seem to see a million eyes</i>

313
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:47,560
<i>Which ones are yours?</i>

314
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,889
(SOBBING)
I gotta do
something about him.

315
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,166
(DOOR OPENS)
Huh?

316
00:16:52,280 --> 00:16:53,361
(CLATTERING)

317
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:00,009
This is the perfect test.

318
00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,488
If I can have
one dab of frosting
and then stop,

319
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:06,211
I'll know I've
conquered food at last.

320
00:17:14,360 --> 00:17:16,044
That was too easy.

321
00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:20,365
(CHUCKLES)

322
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:29,285
Okay. If I stop here,
I still have some dignity.

323
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:32,201
(LAUGHING)

324
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,927
Well, at least she's
not singing Streisand.

325
00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:38,726
(LAUGHING)

326
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:45,251
Hey, Lise, still
insecure about your body?

327
00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:48,086
(CLEARS THROAT)
Yeah, a little.

328
00:17:48,160 --> 00:17:50,925
Those mean girls
just get to me.

329
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,490
I understand.

330
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:56,645
I have a sister,
I think she's dead now,
who had the same problem.

331
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,524
And I know just the solution.

332
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:07,762
Sherri, Terri.
The only thing
sweeter than you two,

333
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:09,763
are these stolen cookies.

334
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:11,046
Enjoy-

335
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,321
(BOTH GIGGLING)

336
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,004
Thank you, Nelson.
Thank you, Nelson.

337
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:15,761
(SCREAMING)

338
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:17,330
(CHUCKUNG)

339
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,562
<i>(ALL SINGING)
Sherri smells, Terri smells</i>

340
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,404
<i>Stinky all the way</i>

341
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,841
<i>Stink, stink, stink.
Stink, stink, stink</i>

342
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:25,524
<i>One horse open sleigh</i>

343
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,045
(BOTH SCREAMING)

344
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:30,931
Thank you, Nelson.

345
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,049
He who ha-ha's last,
ha-ha's best.

346
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:38,442
I really appreciate
you teaching those
mean girls a lesson.

347
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,524
Tomorrow I can
bleach a swear word
into their hair.

348
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:42,721
I'd like that.

349
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:47,647
Nelson?

350
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:48,721
Papa!

351
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:50,685
You came back!

352
00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:52,728
(SOBBING)

353
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,801
I never meant to
leave you, Nelson.

354
00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:57,962
But something awful happened
when I went to the store.

355
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,247
Well, that explains a lot.
Who's hungry?

356
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,322
No. I want to hear
what happened at the store.

357
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:04,921
Well, I went in
to buy cigarettes.

358
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,042
Can you gift
wrap them, please?
They're for my son.

359
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,168
<i>I also bought
myself a candy bar.</i>

360
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,767
<i>Which unfortunately
was filled with peanuts,
to which I am allergic.</i>

361
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,926
(INCOHERENT BABBLING)

362
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:23,884
<i>I ran outside just as a circus
was rolling into town.</i>

363
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,450
<i>(CYMBALS PLPOHNG)</i>

364
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:28,124
(INCOHERENT BABBLING)

365
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,288
(LAUGHING)

366
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:37,769
<i>BART:
And that's where I found him.</i>

367
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,922
I brought him back here
so he could take Nelson away

368
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,048
and my bruises would heal.

369
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,760
I want to give you
a home again, son.

370
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:48,205
MRS. MUNTZ:
And so do I.

371
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,566
Mom!

372
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:50,966
I got an acting job

373
00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:53,725
from the third
director I slept with.

374
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,725
I play Lady Macbeth.

375
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,923
I don't have to
take my top off,
but I do anyway.

376
00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:04,081
Well, I'm glad everything
worked out so well.

377
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:07,130
Yep. The Muntzes
are back in business.

378
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:10,010
Yep, the four Muntzes!

379
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,085
(GROANS)

380
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:15,008
Thanks for
finding my dad, Bart.

381
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,527
And thanks, lady,
for making me feel
good about myself.

382
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,286
So now that
you're happy again,

383
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:23,886
I guess you won't beat me up
at school anymore.

384
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,442
I wish it were
that simple.
I really do.

385
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:35,731
They're a family again,
and so are we.

386
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:37,040
What happened?

387
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:40,681
Hmm. Sometimes you have
to adopt your son's bully

388
00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:44,885
in order to bring your
own family temporarily closer.

389
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,125
And Lisa,
what have you learned?

390
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,281
Nothing.

391
00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:50,089
Like many women,
I still have an

392
00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:51,929
unhealthy obsession
with my weight.

393
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,048
But talking about
the problem is the

394
00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,242
first step towards
a solution, right?

395
00:20:56,320 --> 00:20:59,324
I guess. But there's
a long way to go.

396
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:01,285
(GRUNTS IMPATIENTLY)

397
00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:03,408
Come on,
say something conclusive.

398
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:06,051
I'm afraid this is
a very open-ended problem.

399
00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:09,923
HOMER: <i>Oh, open-ended?
Come on, Lisa.</i>

400
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,490
<i>Say everything's fine.</i>

401
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,450
(IN FEMALE VOICE)
<i>"Everything's fine."</i>

402
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:15,409
LISA: <i>That was you.</i>
HOMER: <i>Prove it.</i>

403
00:21:15,520 --> 00:21:17,568
(HOMER CHUCKLES)