1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:06,489 (SINGING) The Simpsons 2 00:00:06,560 --> 00:00:07,641 (TIRES SCREECHING) 3 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:10,720 D'oh! 4 00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:11,847 (SCREAMS) 5 00:00:11,920 --> 00:00:12,921 (BRAKES SCREECHING) 6 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:16,883 (ALL SCREAMING) 7 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:18,360 (GIANT FISH GULPS) 8 00:00:28,680 --> 00:00:30,603 LISA AND JANEY: (SINGING) Miss Lucy had a steamboat 9 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:32,284 The steamboat had a bell 10 00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:35,604 Miss Lucy went to heaven And the steamboat went to... 11 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:36,721 (GASPS) 12 00:00:36,800 --> 00:00:37,847 Hell-o operator 13 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:38,921 (SIGHS) 14 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:40,126 Get me number nine 15 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:43,170 And if you disconnect me I'll chop off your be... 16 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:44,241 (LOUD GASP) 17 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,367 ...hind the 'frigerator... 18 00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:46,481 Phew. 19 00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:47,965 There was a piece of glass 20 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:51,562 Miss Lucy sat upon it And it cut her big fat... 21 00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:53,244 (GASPING) 22 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:56,802 Ask me no more questions I'll tell you no more... 23 00:00:56,880 --> 00:00:57,881 Ow! 24 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:02,330 Spitball! 25 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:12,005 I'm using your unfinished novel. 26 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:13,926 LISA: Oh! 27 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,211 Mmm. (GRUNTING) 28 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:21,401 No. (GASPS) 29 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:27,444 (PANTING) You're in big trouble, mister! 30 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:29,846 I'm bleeding! 31 00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,404 Huh, there's no cut on your cheek. 32 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:33,686 Where'd the blood come from? 33 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,049 Hey, I got a loose tooth! 34 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:40,120 Ew! 35 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,361 Gross! 36 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:43,925 I bet you can't twist it. 37 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,329 Of course I can twist it. I'm great. 38 00:01:48,480 --> 00:01:50,130 (BART SCREAMING) 39 00:01:51,440 --> 00:01:53,727 This is my last baby tooth. 40 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:58,124 That's the money tooth. I heard the Tooth Fairy pays triple for it. 41 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:00,441 Then let's hurry up and rip it out of my head. 42 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:10,010 Skinner! Your bus driver just totaled my Camry! 43 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,208 Can I offer you the use of my Merkur? 44 00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:16,126 Filled with your Burger King cups and wrappers? No, thank you. 45 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:18,600 (GRUNTS) Lousy drawer. 46 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:22,164 Potato masher's stuck in small spoon slot. 47 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:23,969 What kinda madman would do that? 48 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,043 (GRUNTING) 49 00:02:26,560 --> 00:02:27,721 (GRUNTS) 50 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:30,841 (GASPS) 51 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,486 Ooh. Bart! Honey, I'm so sorry! 52 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:34,561 No problem. 53 00:02:37,400 --> 00:02:38,401 Huh. No harm done. 54 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:39,925 HOMER: I wouldn't say that. 55 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,686 Mmm-hmm. 56 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:46,843 God, please give your daughter, the Tooth Fairy, the strength 57 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,082 to carry my cash and the integrity 58 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:51,447 not to dip her wand in the till. 59 00:02:58,360 --> 00:02:59,407 What the... 60 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:03,123 The Tooth Fairy has made a donation in my name to the United Way! 61 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,964 That gossamer witch! 62 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:08,402 Maybe when the Tooth Fairy saw it was your last baby tooth, 63 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:10,960 she realized you're not a little boy anymore. 64 00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,122 So she gave you a grownup gift. 65 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,486 I'm not gonna grow up! 66 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:16,330 (CHUCKLES) Oh! Yes, you are. 67 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,722 Why in the right light, you're starting to get your own muzzle. 68 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,131 I thought it was chocolate milk. 69 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:22,964 Yeah. That's how it starts. 70 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:24,929 No! 71 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:30,211 I'm still a kid. And what do kids love? Kid stuff, like this! 72 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:31,645 (GRUNTING) 73 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:37,642 Vroom-vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom. 74 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,001 (MOANS) 75 00:03:39,600 --> 00:03:41,489 Whatcha realizing, jerk? 76 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:43,245 That I'm not a kid anymore. 77 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:44,367 That's harsh. 78 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,886 I knew I was an adult the day the judge said, 79 00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:48,928 "We're trying you as an adult." 80 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:51,881 Well, there's one thing no one can take away, 81 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,923 My childlike imagination. 82 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,128 Sergeant Activity, your mission is 83 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,368 to scale the icy walls of Mount Bloodkill. 84 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,449 Must defeat Doctor Blizzard 85 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,205 and the Avalanchoids. 86 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,720 (GRUNTS) 87 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,845 Lieutenant Adventure, what are you doing here? 88 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,526 You're quite the daredevil, Sergeant Activity. 89 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:17,648 It's high time you protected yourself 90 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,808 with supplemental disability insurance. 91 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,400 At my age? Can I qualify? 92 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:23,681 You'd be surprised. 93 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:27,049 If you're a non-smoker, it can costjust a few dollars a month. 94 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:31,765 What's happening to me? Maybe I'm not a kid anymore. 95 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:35,731 Goodbye, Spirogram. Goodbye, Sketch N Etch. 96 00:04:35,840 --> 00:04:40,050 Goodbye, Ravenous Ravenous Rhinos, Duopoly, Parchoosey, 97 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:42,691 Humor Putty and Sock 'Em Knock 'Em Cyborgs. 98 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:44,361 Goodbye, childhood. 99 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:48,290 Dust in the wind 100 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:54,050 All we are is dust in the wind 101 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,882 Goodbye, friends. 102 00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:09,888 OLD SEA CAPTAIN: "So Eden sank to grief. 103 00:05:10,280 --> 00:05:15,286 "So dawn goes down today. Nothing gold can stay." 104 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:17,120 Yarr. 105 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,201 Hey, Sea Captain. 106 00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:21,250 Giving your toys a Viking funeral, eh? 107 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,129 I really don't want to talk about it. 108 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,568 If you change your mind, I won't be far. 109 00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:27,841 Thanks, but... 110 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,729 I've been told I'm a good listener. 111 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:31,325 But when you're a captain, 112 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:35,246 you never know when people are just flattering ya. Yarr. 113 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,922 He's gone. Darn it! 114 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:41,527 I just want a friend who isn't a work friend. 115 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,970 Bart, if you don't get up now, good luck getting a pancake. 116 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:51,287 Dad's pulled his chair right up to the stove. 117 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,681 Lise, I think I'm having a midlife crisis. 118 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:57,327 If you're feeling depressed, do what I do and write something. 119 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,004 A novel, a play... 120 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,128 Or I could write something that's not gay. 121 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,047 (GASPS) 122 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:07,124 Bart, someone wrote something cynical on your shirt! 123 00:06:07,480 --> 00:06:08,561 Mmm-hmm. 124 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:09,886 Let me wash it off. 125 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:12,440 Leave me alone. This expresses my rage at the machine. 126 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:17,242 Well, I like T-shirts with a nice joke like, "Support our troops." 127 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:21,006 Bart's shirt is a classic, Marge. Just like "Keep on truckin'." 128 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,924 As if I would ever want to stop truckin'. 129 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,006 Whoa! (EXCITED CHATTER) 130 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,047 KID 1: Check it out! 131 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:30,201 KID 2: Whoa, look at that! 132 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,405 Ahh... l wish I had that shirt. 133 00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:35,609 It's clever, funny, and would cover my boy boobs nicely. 134 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:38,566 I'm too sexy for my shirt 135 00:06:38,880 --> 00:06:40,484 Too sexy for my shirt 136 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,484 So sexy it hurts 137 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,247 And I'm too sexy for Milan 138 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,490 Too sexy for Milan 139 00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:50,568 Bart, I need that shirt. 140 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:52,842 I'll trade you Puppy Goo Goo for it. 141 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:56,567 She still has a lot of her original strawberry scent. 142 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,001 Forget it. My attitude isn't for sale. 143 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,925 What am I saying? Of course it is. 144 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,049 T-shirts! Get your sassy T-shirts! 145 00:07:05,160 --> 00:07:08,130 50% cotton, 100% awesome! 146 00:07:08,240 --> 00:07:10,004 Daddy, can I buy this one? 147 00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:12,048 Let's see. "Get bent." 148 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:15,728 Well, the only thing that could mean is kneel down and pray. 149 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:16,801 We'll take the whole box. 150 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:18,441 "Get bent," everyone! 151 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:21,330 This could get me out of a lot of sticky situations. 152 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,845 I'll take a dozen. (CHUCKLES) 153 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,281 Do you have a T-shirt with Calvin peeing on Hobbes? 154 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:27,646 Sorry. 155 00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,290 Ah. Well, what do you got him peeing on? 156 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,966 (SIREN BLARES) 157 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,763 Well, well, well. Selling T-shirts without a permit. 158 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,844 And it looks like one of the lights in your sneakers is out. 159 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,280 (CLANCY GRUNTS) 160 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,762 Come on, Chief. I can't afford to pay protection to you and Nelson. 161 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:45,126 Mmm-hmm. 162 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:47,009 Well, then you're out of business, boy. 163 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:50,050 Let's go, boys. Confiscate his merchandise. 164 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,408 Are any of those my size? 165 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:57,121 Extra-extra-extra-extra-extra, (IN HALES) extra-extra large? 166 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,611 Here you go, Chief. 167 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:02,247 "Proud Nubian Princess." Score! 168 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,401 (MOANS) 169 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:08,531 It's no fair. I just started and I'm out of business. 170 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:12,002 Why don't you go legit and sell your shirts in stores? 171 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,923 But I'm just a kid. 172 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:17,807 You're a kid no longer, Bart. You've become a man. 173 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,360 Hey, you're right. lam. 174 00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:24,206 And as an adult, you'll be needing comprehensive insurance. 175 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:26,648 I'll just leave these brochures. 176 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:29,888 So how can I get my shirts in stores? 177 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,843 I bet you could find a distributor 178 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:33,849 at the Springfield Novelty Expo. 179 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,605 That's right! It's tomorrow! 180 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:49,568 Oh, my God. It's a small retailer. He could make or break us. 181 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,011 Mr. Retailer! Over here! 182 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:55,004 Your customers will love these mood lollipops. 183 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,481 Every lick reveals your mood. 184 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,722 It works. If blue is the color for unimpressed. 185 00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,963 T-shirts! Come order my homemade T-shirts! 186 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,648 My mom thinks they're good! 187 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:09,961 Y'all ready for this? 188 00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:12,407 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 189 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:15,721 Hey! 190 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:20,727 Hey, hey! Krusty Show T-shirts are made for kids by kids! 191 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:23,810 And we pass the "slavings" on to you! (CHUCKLING) 192 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,083 We've got all your favorite characters, 193 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:30,130 Itchy, Scratchy, Poochie, Austin Powers Itchy, 194 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:33,568 Itchy Poochie, Scratchbob Itchpants, Confederate Itchy 195 00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:36,291 and Osama Bin Scratchy. 196 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:38,966 (IMPRESSED MURMURS) 197 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:43,242 Thatsucked. Well, at least I've still got my health... 198 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,129 (GRUNTS) (HONNNG) 199 00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:50,002 Oh, my golly graciousness! Bad car! 200 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,208 Apologize to the poor little boy. 201 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:53,401 (SORROWFUL HONK) 202 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:54,606 (CHUCKLES) 203 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:58,004 This shirt is humor-larious. 204 00:09:58,200 --> 00:09:59,531 Let's see what else you've got. 205 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:02,683 Amazing, trailblazing, insightful, 206 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,923 Delightful, hysterical, a miracle! 207 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,969 The kids'll go cuckoo for these! 208 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,049 (CUCKOOS) (CHUCKLES) 209 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,645 My name's Goose Gladwell. 210 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:13,324 Of Goose's Gags and Gifts? 211 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:16,722 That's right. I've got 20 stores in 30 states. 212 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:19,690 And I want to sell your shirts in most of them. 213 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,450 You really think my shirts will sell? 214 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,205 Absotively! Here, take my card. 215 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:31,168 Sorry, that's my old number. Let me give you the new one. (CHUCKLES) 216 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:32,571 Darn. It's out of ink. 217 00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:34,529 But my phone number's on the pen! 218 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:37,251 Oh, but it's my old phone number. 219 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,321 I'll call you. 220 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,927 I've been reading this magazine for years. 221 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:54,925 But I never dreamed my son would be on the cover. Hmm. 222 00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,242 (CAR HONKING) 223 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:58,481 It's Goose! 224 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:01,567 What the... Huh? 225 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:03,125 Hello, Simpsons. 226 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,011 ALL: Ooh. 227 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:08,411 You broke in! 228 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,807 We're big fans, Mr. Gladwell. 229 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:13,042 Yeah. Nothing makes parents happier 230 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:15,009 than when an eccentric single man 231 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,043 takes an interest in their child. 232 00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:21,447 Bart, that's your share of the T-shirt profits so far. 233 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:23,561 ALL: Ooh. 234 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:24,880 Look at all that cash! 235 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:28,931 And now it's time for me to leave! 236 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,042 What a delightful sprite! 237 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,805 (SNORING) 238 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,282 Smithers! There seems to be some sort 239 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,368 of communiqué on that man's blouse. 240 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,522 I believe it says, "Don't wake me, I'm working." 241 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:55,201 Bolshevism! Sheer bolshevism! Ripe for the quashing! 242 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,010 (GRUNTING) 243 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:01,011 You're suspended without pay. Take your clacking balls and go. 244 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:05,920 And on your way out, 245 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,482 remove all the fillings you got under our dental plan. 246 00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:12,644 You know what, Mr. Burns? I'm never coming back! 247 00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:15,690 My son's making so much cash in the T-shirt game 248 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,604 that I don't have to work another day in my life, 249 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:22,367 assuming my health does not deteriorate as I age. 250 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,329 Good riddance to bad blubber. 251 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,721 Smithers, want to go get a cup of coffee? 252 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:27,801 I just had one, sir. 253 00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:28,881 What the... 254 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,207 Why is everyone so insolent today? 255 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:33,249 Well, today is Christmas, sir. 256 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,449 I say when it's Christmas. 257 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:40,327 TELEVISION ANNOUNCER: Too much change around the house got you down? 258 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,364 Help me, Ronco Change Magician! 259 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:50,483 ANNOUNCER: The Change Magician will change your life for the better. 260 00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:52,682 (ANNOUNCER READING) 261 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:53,881 Order today. 262 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,611 (GASPS) Bart, can I ask you an important question? 263 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:57,966 How much? 264 00:12:58,080 --> 00:12:59,241 $29.99. 265 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,731 (SIGHS) Here's fifty. Woo-hoo. 266 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:03,565 That's your donut money, too, mister. (MOANING) 267 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,409 Lenny, Carl, how you doing? 268 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,807 Hey, Homer. How's retirement? 269 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,406 It's awesome. You know what I've gotten into? 270 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,045 Sleeping till noon. 271 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:16,805 Yeah, well, we better get going. 272 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,247 Some of us have to get up for work tomorrow. 273 00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:21,044 Hey, just because I'm not working 274 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,964 doesn't mean I can't gripe like you guys. 275 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:24,565 Don't you hate it when people steal 276 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:26,290 your lunch out of the break room fridge? 277 00:13:26,400 --> 00:13:28,801 Actually, that stopped after you left, Homer. 278 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:32,407 Yeah. Well, enjoy the autumn of your years, jerk! 279 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,367 Oh, I see what's going on! 280 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:37,408 You can't stand to be around a guy 281 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,483 who's got total financial independence. 282 00:13:39,560 --> 00:13:41,244 Your bill, sir. 283 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,281 (EXCLAIMS) 284 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:46,210 No problem. Bart, I need $200. 285 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:48,328 Dad, the bill's only a hundred. 286 00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,687 I broke some bathroom fixtures. 287 00:13:50,760 --> 00:13:51,966 Oh! 288 00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:53,687 Pathetic. 289 00:13:53,760 --> 00:13:54,761 I'm pathetic? 290 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:57,161 Because I take money from my 10-year-old son? 291 00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,607 Well, let me tell you something! 292 00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:02,126 I still call the shots around here! 293 00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,561 Homer, use your inside voice. 294 00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,086 I don't have an inside voice! 295 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:12,524 DECLAN DESMOND: The wild Serengeti. 296 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:17,607 Home of Africa's equivalent to the mountain lion, the regular lion. 297 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:22,370 These toothy Tarzan-munchers have a rigid hierarchy 298 00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:25,523 With a single alpha male ruling the pride. 299 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:27,569 (ROARING) 300 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:30,087 (BIG LION-LIKE YAWN) 301 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:36,009 Until a younger, more aggressive lion challenges his power. 302 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:37,806 (WHIMPERS) 303 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,206 (WHIMPERS) 304 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:41,044 (GRUNTS) Oh. 305 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,088 The couch is like that tree! 306 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,165 The displaced male has two choices. 307 00:14:46,280 --> 00:14:48,647 Either spend the rest of his days among 308 00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:51,161 The other broken-down old lions... 309 00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:54,488 All the good graves are taken. 310 00:14:54,720 --> 00:15:00,170 Or find inclusion in the tribe by caring for vulnerable young cubs. 311 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:01,841 Hmm. 312 00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:06,050 Lisa, basic cable said I should nurture you. 313 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:08,766 Great! Will you play Malibu Stacy with me? 314 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:12,447 Okay. You be the girl and I'll be the car. 315 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:16,570 (HUMS) I'm going to the organic market. 316 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:18,290 (MIMICS CAR ENGINE RUNNING) 317 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,691 Screw the market! We're going to Mexico! (LAUGHS) 318 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:26,771 LISA: Wheel 319 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,171 (BOTH LAUGHING) 320 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:30,681 HOMER: It's El Flanderito! Run him down! 321 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:33,448 I can't run. I'm wearing flip-flops! 322 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,887 (BOTH LAUGHING) 323 00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,765 Hey, what's that dealie? 324 00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:42,127 It's my entry for the all-school science fair. 325 00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:45,926 It shows the history of nuclear physics from Marie Curie's laboratory 326 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,685 to a scale model of the first nuclear reactor. 327 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:50,290 Oh, you'll win for sure. 328 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:53,250 You and science go together like Lenny and Carl. 329 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:54,810 The science is Carl. 330 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:56,848 MARTIN: Oh, Lisa! 331 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:01,041 I'd like to introduce you to the next winner of the science fair! 332 00:16:01,360 --> 00:16:03,806 Behold, my project! 333 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,970 Childlike Humanoid Urban Muchacho! 334 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:08,929 Or CHUM! 335 00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:11,884 Don't hold my hand. It's creepy. 336 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:17,321 Hush, my pet. Now let us gather our rosebuds while we may. 337 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:18,971 (SHUDDERS) 338 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:20,486 A robot? 339 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:23,530 Last year the winner was a jar of owl pellets. 340 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,524 Oh, I don't have a chance now. 341 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,530 Honey, all you need's a little help from your dad. 342 00:16:29,600 --> 00:16:32,524 Remember, I did use to work at a science factory. 343 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,649 Well, we're supposed to do this without parental help. 344 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,042 Sweetie, that's orphan talk. 345 00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,248 (GRUNTING) 346 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:44,242 Stupid atomic pile. How hard could it be to build a reactor? 347 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:48,081 Korea did it. And look at the quality of their animation. 348 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:49,321 Hmm. 349 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,448 What to do? What to do? 350 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:55,089 Hey, maybe the Internet has the information I need. 351 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:58,966 It certainly answered a lot of my questions about wang enhancement. 352 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:03,529 www.nuclearsecrets.com 353 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:06,288 "Are you a terrorist?" No. 354 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,488 "Would you like to meet someone special 355 00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:10,568 "but are tired of the bar scene?" 356 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:13,883 No! I will never tire of the bar scene! 357 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:16,964 Let's see. I can make that. 358 00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:19,726 You can get that by smashing open a golf ball. 359 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,371 That you can find in any player piano. 360 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,205 All I need is some plutonium. 361 00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:27,844 And I know just the place to get it! 362 00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,928 (CHUCKLES) Mmm. 363 00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:54,327 Dad? 364 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:55,561 Hub-bub-bub-bub-bub. Don't look! 365 00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,888 Dad, what did you do? 366 00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:02,248 Sweetie, your daddy's gonna show you just how much he loves you. 367 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:05,403 You know that non-functioning nuclear reactor you built? 368 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:06,681 Yes... 369 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,603 ljuiced it up a little. (GIGGLES) 370 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,969 Dad, that could explode! 371 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,565 Oh, that's ridiculous. 372 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:14,885 (BEEPING) 373 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:18,282 KRUSTY: That thing's gonna blow! Drop this toy and run! 374 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:22,410 Mom! Dad built a device that would be deadly in the wrong hands! 375 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,130 And he's holding it! 376 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:29,048 Homer, I want you to get that gamma-radiating whatsit out of my home. 377 00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:30,281 (WHINING) on... (SNORTS) 378 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,330 I never complain about your frilly pillows. 379 00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,010 How many T-shirts do you have here? 380 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,526 Just one. 381 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,524 It takes a Marine honor guard to fold it. 382 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,729 It used to be a dust cover for a Hummer. 383 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,962 I could go on and on. 384 00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:51,971 Gravies and Lentilmen, I have an exciting announcement. 385 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:55,482 I have sold the rights to the Bart Simpson T-shirt line... 386 00:18:55,560 --> 00:18:56,641 (GASPING) 387 00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,645 ...to the Disney Company, which will turn each one into a movie! 388 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,484 Really? How much money do I get? 389 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:03,607 You get nothing. 390 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:07,207 In fact, thanks to my team of loopy lawyers... 391 00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:08,731 (CLEARS THROAT) 392 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,566 ...I never have to give you another penny. 393 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:14,485 All you get is a very valuable lesson. 394 00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:16,528 Never trust a weirdo! 395 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:17,926 Azoot! 396 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,404 I'm stuck on a nail! 397 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,045 (CHUCKUNG) 398 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:24,849 Oh, God, that's painful. 399 00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,046 (GROANS) 400 00:19:26,120 --> 00:19:27,690 I can't feel my... 401 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:28,761 (WHISTLE) 402 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:30,601 What's the matter, boy? 403 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:34,241 Goose Gladwell ripped me off. And there's nothing I can do about it. 404 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,723 I'm just a stupid kid! (SOBBING) 405 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:40,406 Son, when you grew up, I grew down. 406 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,006 Now I can see you need your dad more than ever. 407 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:46,687 And Homer, I can see you need me more than ever. 408 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,364 Get back in the garage, old man. 409 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,886 But there's spiders in the boxes. 410 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,286 Stay out of my boxes! 411 00:19:52,440 --> 00:19:54,204 You give my son what he deserves 412 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,851 or I'll knock you on your delightfully offbeat ass. 413 00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:02,131 (CHUCKLES) Oh, I must warn you, sir, I was a Green Beret in Vietnam. 414 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:07,881 The things I saw there are what made me crazy! 415 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,330 Sir, this is a class two plutonium fissure reactor. 416 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,442 If I turn this dial, 417 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:18,525 the resulting blast would destroy the entire tri-city area, 418 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:22,321 Including that guy who sells those Blu-Blocker sunglasses 419 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,402 people sometimes wear. 420 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:27,730 Damn him to hell. 421 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:29,211 You can't be serious. 422 00:20:29,480 --> 00:20:31,448 Are you prepared to take that chance? 423 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,481 Okay, okay. Here's all the money I've got. 424 00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:41,564 Not so fast. I also want 425 00:20:41,680 --> 00:20:45,480 some dribble glasses, fake boobs, two of Bart's T-shirts 426 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:46,926 and that rapping toilet seat. 427 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,407 Yo, yo, yo Keep it on the low flow 428 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:50,721 (CHUCKUNG) 429 00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,290 I'm hanging this over the mantle. 430 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:53,801 Thanks, Dad. 431 00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:56,770 Well, I'm just glad we're back to me being the father 432 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,683 and you being the son. 433 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,604 Are you sure that thing could really explode? 434 00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:02,806 Oh, I doubt it. 435 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,924 But we'll let the seagulls at the dump figure it out. 436 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:08,327 (BOTH LAUGHING) 437 00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:15,011 There's more than one way to lose a tooth. 438 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:19,487 Hey, idiot, you're fat. And your mom's naked on the Internet. 439 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:21,210 You also smell. 440 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:23,641 Hmm. 441 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,491 You've given me a lot to think about.