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00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:06,408
♪ <i>The Simpsons</i> ♪

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(TlRES SCREECHING)

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D'oh!

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(SCREAMS)

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(BRAKES SCREECHING)

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(GRUNTS)

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Now, before we eat,

8
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Let's remember what
we're celebrating today.

9
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After many years of hard work,
your father finally
paid off the mortgage.

10
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See you in hell, document.

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ALL: Yay .

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All right, Dad.

13
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Way to build equity.

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Now remember to
eat smart, people.
Go for the fancy foods.

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Don't let them fill you up
with that cheap stuff.

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A roll, sir?
Screw you.

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Oatmeal?

18
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(GASPS) Smoked salmon!
Shrimp! Crab legs!

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(EXCLAIMS)

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(GRUNTING)

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(GROANS)

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l win.

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(WOOZY LAUGH)

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Thinner. Thinner.

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Thinner. Thinner. Too thin.

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Better luck next time,
"Tommy. Virginia Beach."

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(SINISTER CHUCKLE)

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(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

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(CHOKING)

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You ate meat. You ate meat.

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You ate fruit. You ate fruit.

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(COUGHING)

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(GRUNTING)

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Stow it, you two.

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(SINISTER LAUGHTER)

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Stop making a scene!

37
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How rude!

38
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What do I have to do
to enjoy a Sunday brunch

39
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with my secret other family?

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I've never been
so embarrassed.

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And the worst part is,
this is brunch, so you've
ruined two meals.

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I'll see you all at lupper.

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Why did I ever have kids?

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I could have
written symphonies
or been Shakespeare.

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Oh!

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Here, Homer.
Have a big, frosty
mug of forget-about-it.

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(DOOR OPENS)

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I wouldn't drink that.

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From the looks of this place,
it might kill you.

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Oh, who are you,
the health inspector?

51
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Yes.

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(GASPING)

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(SCREAMING)

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<i>(BARNEY BURPS)</i>

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My God, look at this filth.

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I ought to close
this dump down for good.

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(GASPING)

58
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But then where would I go
to get away from my wife?

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Come here, Moe,
you beautiful,
hideous troll.

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(CHUCKUNG)

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Guys, this is Frankie
from the Health Department.

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We go way back.

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Lenny, you don't
have to hide that rat.

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Off you go, little fella.
(RAT SQUEAKING)

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When we were kids,

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our dads used to get
drunk and make us fight
each other. Huh? Huh?

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My pop would buy me a malted
for every tooth of
Moe's I knocked out.

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That time you blinded me,
he gave you a bike.

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That sure was
a good-sounding bike.
(CHUCKLES)

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Well, now to give this place
a thorough inspection.

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<i>(CLEARS THROAT)</i>

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"Free from infestation?"
Check.

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"Sanitary utensils?" Check.

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"Food hygienically stored?"

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Only one way to find out.

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Mmm, mmm, mmm.

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(GAGGING)

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Oh, my God, he's dead.

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Okay, which one of you
guys parked in front
of the hydrant?

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Uh, look, I didn't see
nothing here, okay?
(CHUCKLES)

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Just a bunch of innocent
guys, sitting around,
none of them dead.

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Buy yourselves a nice dinner.

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(CAR SPEEDS AWAY)

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Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

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Ho.

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So, uh, Mr. New Guy,
what do you think?

87
00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,881
Is everything
hunky-dory there?

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Mr. Szyslak,
your tavern is rife
with health code violations.

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You gotta be kidding me.
Like what?

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Well, for starters, the body
of my predecessor
is still on the floor.

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Oh, yeah. Uh, well, you see,
trash day ain't till
VVednesday, so...

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(CHUCKLES)
Mmm-hmm.

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Chicken skins
in soap dispenser,

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cigarette butts in the air,

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toilet on the roof.

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I'm shutting you down
till you fix these violations.

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Oh, man, I can't afford
to fix all that stuff.

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Oh! Nuts.

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If anybody needs me,
l'll be in the john.

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♪ <i>Oh, Danny boy</i>

101
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♪ <i>The pipes
the pipes are calling</i>

102
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♪ <i>From glen to glen</i>

103
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♪ <i>And down the mountainside</i>

104
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♪ <i>The summer's gone</i>

105
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♪ <i>And all the roses falling</i>

106
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♪ <i>'Tis you, 'tis you must go</i>

107
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♪ <i>And I must bider</i>

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"Moe's, a tribute.

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"'M' is for Moe,
the owner of Moe's.

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"'0' is for the '0'
in the middle of Moe's.

111
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"'E' is for ex-ceptance,

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"The feeling I
always got here at Moe's."

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(SOBS) Oh, Moe! Don't let
them close you down.

114
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Oh, it's too late.
I don't have the cash
to clean up the bar.

115
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From now on,
you guys are just gonna

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have to do your
drinking across the street.

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<i>(CAN'T GET YOU OUT
OF MY HEAD PLAYING)</i>

118
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♪ <i>I just can't get you
out of my head </i> ♪

119
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Hey, a beer's a beer.

120
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Mmm!

121
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Oh, I can't go
to a gay bar.

122
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I'm too fat.

123
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Moe, I'm going to
help you reopen your bar,
no matter what it takes.

124
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Mr. Simpson,
for a loan this big,

125
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you'll have to put up
your house as collateral.

126
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Put up my house?
But I just paid it off.
What would Marge say?

127
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Do whatever you have
to do to save Moe's.
I love my Homie.

128
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Okay, honey,
I'll do it.

129
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What's going on here?

130
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Nothing. Nothing.

131
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Thanks, Homer.
No one's ever
trusted me before,

132
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except for that one guy
who shouldn't have.

133
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That was me.
Oh, yeah.

134
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Homer, those cuckoo-birds
at the bank goofed up

135
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and sent us
a mortgage statement.

136
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Marge! How dare you
open a letter addressed
to both of us!

137
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"M631700000642J"?
This is a new
loan tracking number.

138
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You got a new mortgage?

139
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I had to, or Moe's would
stay closed forever.

140
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You gave the money to Moe?
How's he going to pay us back?

141
00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,808
Look, look,
I can see you're upset.

142
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If you need me,
I'll be at Moe's.

143
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:11,761
Well, maybe I'll go
to Moe's too, seeing
as I'm now part owner.

144
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:13,569
Marge, you can't
go with me to Moe's.

145
00:07:13,640 --> 00:07:16,371
I mean, how would you like it
if I came with you
to your mother's?

146
00:07:16,440 --> 00:07:19,250
I would like it.
You never come
to my mother's.

147
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That's because
I hate her.

148
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:23,446
Hmm.

149
00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:26,683
Until you pay us back,
you're answering to me.

150
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:28,290
And there's going
to be big changes.

151
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,448
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Now, wait just a minute.

152
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One thing Moe Szyslak
has never had is a partner.

153
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Nor a wife, a friend,
a chum, a casual acquaintance,

154
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a pen pal, a parrot,
a meaningful conversation,

155
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a brief hug or eye contact.

156
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I'm just going to call
the suicide hotline now.

157
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(BEEPS)

158
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And they've blocked my number.
Oh, God! (SOBBING)

159
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:03,686
(SIGHS)

160
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:05,205
Just made it!

161
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:06,964
(WHISTLE BLOWS)

162
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Quitting time!

163
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(CHUCKLES)

164
00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:17,726
Boy, I can't wait to get
my lips around an ice cold...

165
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,325
Marge?

166
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:21,528
I'm here protecting
our investment.

167
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:25,002
I'd like you to go home
and make dinner for the kids.

168
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:28,926
But I don't wanna
take care of the kids.
(MUMBLING)

169
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:30,724
How many cigars are
they allowed to have?

170
00:08:30,840 --> 00:08:32,524
Bart sleeps
in the microwave, right?

171
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:33,840
Quit playing dumb.

172
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:37,527
How many magic beans
should I sell the baby for?
Three?

173
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,886
(MUMBLING GIBBERISH)

174
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,122
That's me, jerk-ass Homer.

175
00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:42,690
(MUMBLING GIBBERISH)

176
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:44,649
Come on, go home.

177
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:46,291
Oh.

178
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,641
Maybe some
cheerier paint would

179
00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,161
make this place
less of a "dive."

180
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,368
Marge, my customers
don't like themselves.

181
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:56,807
Therefore,
they seek the darkness.

182
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,122
(BOTH GROANING)

183
00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:03,362
Well, as fabulous
as your regulars are,

184
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:07,166
a remodel might bring in
a higher class of lush.

185
00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:08,890
Look, I like Moe's
the way it is, all right?

186
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:13,090
And I ain't changing
it for any dame, skirt,
Susie-Q or face-macer.

187
00:09:13,160 --> 00:09:15,242
I had a feeling
you'd say that,

188
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:19,769
so I prepared something
that might help you
change your tune.

189
00:09:23,080 --> 00:09:26,084
♪ <i>This place is a diamond
But it's trapped in the rough</i>

190
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:29,607
♪ <i>Yeah, well,
the sign still says "Moe's"
So enough of your guff</i>

191
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:33,449
♪ <i>Here's my new idea
To sell both beer and grub</i>

192
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:35,443
♪ <i>We will turn
this filthy dive</i>

193
00:09:35,560 --> 00:09:37,483
♪ <i>Into a proper,
old-time British pub</i>

194
00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,481
♪ <i>A British what?</i>

195
00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:45,724
♪ <i>Darts and meat pies
And lager in pint glasses</i>

196
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:50,089
♪ <i>What a classy way
To get drunk off your asses</i>

197
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:54,131
Hey, hold the phone.
An English pub.
Thatjust might work.

198
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,126
♪ <i>In song</i>

199
00:09:56,240 --> 00:10:00,290
♪ <i>My bar could be British
Instead of arm-pittish</i>

200
00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:01,964
♪ <i>So why don't we all...</i> ♪

201
00:10:02,080 --> 00:10:04,845
Ah, screw it.
Let's get renovating.

202
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:11,368
Well, I was thinking more
like drapes and a paint job,

203
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:12,680
But your idea's good, too.

204
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,166
Thanks.

205
00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:24,571
Pint of ale, my dear?

206
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,006
Well, thank you,
Your Honor.

207
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,765
You know,
you're kind of sexy.

208
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:30,808
That's a deliberate
misstatement of fact.

209
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,564
But I'll allow it.

210
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:33,766
(CHUCKLES)

211
00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,808
(BOTH MOANING)

212
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:45,442
My first credit card.
Wow, the numbers
are all bumpy-like.

213
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:48,241
Ha!

214
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,724
<i>So, Mr. Boswell,
what do you think
of the new Moe's?</i>

215
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:58,845
<i>Marge Simpson
and Moe Szyslak, here's
a mash note to your bangers.</i>

216
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:02,322
<i>I wish you could
live in me forever.</i>

217
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,845
<i>Thanks, freakazoid.</i>

218
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,843
<i>I'd just like to say
that there's one person</i>

219
00:11:05,920 --> 00:11:09,970
<i>to whom I really owe
my newfound success,
Marge Simpson.</i>

220
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,166
<i>Thanks, Moe.</i>

221
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,046
Dad, Mom's spending
more time at Moe's
than you are.

222
00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:15,690
And they seem
awfully chummy.

223
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,171
Just what are
you inferring?

224
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:21,001
I'm not inferring anything.
You infer. I imply.

225
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:22,320
Woo. That's a relief.

226
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,406
Boy, what a night!

227
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,967
Moe showed me
how to give
someone the bum's rush.

228
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:34,761
Here, watch.
Get lost, rummy!
(GRUNTS)

229
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:36,810
(MARGE CHUCKLES)

230
00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:39,201
Ah, yes, Detroit-style.
Very nice.

231
00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:42,807
So, you've been
at Moe's every
night this week.

232
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:46,248
I know. I used to think
of Moe as a scabby,
dead-eyed hunchback,

233
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:49,881
but now that
I've gotten to know him,
we kind of bonded.

234
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:52,201
Bonded? How many times?

235
00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,762
Homer, Moe and I
are just work friends.

236
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,730
You and I are
marriage friends.

237
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,485
Thanks, honey.
My mind is
completely at ease.

238
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,326
(PHONE RINGS)

239
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,331
MOE: <i>Hey, it's me.</i>

240
00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:10,680
Moe! What's up, partner?

241
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,286
Marge,
sorry to call you so late,
but I had a great idea.

242
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:17,922
Put cutesy signs
outside the restrooms
that say "Dukes" and "Dames"

243
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,650
Instead of the ones
we have now

244
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,404
that say "Stand-Ups"
and "Sit-Downs."

245
00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:23,403
Huh? Tell me honestly.
What do you think?

246
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,767
Ooh. That's a great idea.

247
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,923
Thanks. Wait, are you sure
I'm not interrupting anything?

248
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,526
Of course not.
I'm in bed with Homer.

249
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:34,126
<i>Also, I want to go
with the green tablecloths.</i>

250
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:37,841
Well, I might as well use
this pucker for something.

251
00:12:39,680 --> 00:12:43,127
(TROMBONE PLAYING)

252
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:46,726
(INHALES)

253
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:49,207
(TROMBONE PLAYING)

254
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,648
ANNOUNCER: <i>Coming this summer
from DreamWorks.</i>

255
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:01,801
(ANNOUNCER READS)

256
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:05,965
<i>Fifty-two jokers
playing the game
of their lives.</i>

257
00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:09,089
<i>I don't wanna be a three!
I wanna be a seven!</i>

258
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,925
<i>Shut up, kid.
You're as crazy as an eight,
I'm telling you.</i>

259
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,082
<i>ANNOUNCER: With Eddie Murphy
as the Jack of Clubs.</i>

260
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,881
<i>You don't understand,
Officer. I thought that
king was</i> a <i>queen.</i>

261
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,689
(CHUCKUNG)

262
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:24,166
ANNOUNCER:
<i>This summer, the house is full
and the deuces are wild!</i>

263
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:25,486
<i>In "Cards!"</i>

264
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,608
<i>Hey, Jack, you got any twos?</i>

265
00:13:27,680 --> 00:13:30,411
<i>You can't handle the twos!</i>

266
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:36,168
Oh, Marge, don't you love it
when our hands meet in
the popcorn tub?

267
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:37,526
Mmm-hmm.

268
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,802
(BOTH GIGGLING)

269
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,247
Hey, Marge!

270
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:42,481
Howdy, partner!

271
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,164
Why don't you
sit next to us?

272
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:47,244
Hey, Moe.
Haven't seen
you in a while.

273
00:13:47,320 --> 00:13:49,004
Yeah. How you
doing there, Homer?

274
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,162
Did you ever pass
that G.l. Joe
you swallowed?

275
00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:52,287
How do you know
about that?

276
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:53,964
Oh, Marge told me.
We share everything.

277
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,041
You do?

278
00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:58,644
<i>Don't worry.
They're just friends.</i>

279
00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:00,364
<i>There's nothing
physical between them.</i>

280
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:03,046
Homer, can you hold
my wedding ring
for a second?

281
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:04,645
My finger's itchy.

282
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:08,850
<i>Uh-oh. I'm gonna have to
work on my marriage.
Or alternatively...</i>

283
00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,405
(MOANS)

284
00:14:14,480 --> 00:14:15,561
Something wrong, Homer?

285
00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,608
Well, I'm worried
about Marge and Moe.

286
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:19,170
They've developed
an intimate bond

287
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:22,210
Of thoughts and feelings
completely separate from me.

288
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:25,807
But it's not physical.
So everything's great, right?

289
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,531
Homer, it's time you
learned the sad truth.

290
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,807
Can I learn it
at a happy place?

291
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,530
(<i>ITCHY & SCRATCHY</i>
THEME PLAYING)

292
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:36,361
Moe and Marge are having
an emotional affair.

293
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,363
Although there's no
physical intimacy,

294
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:39,811
there's a deep
spiritual connection

295
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,325
That threatens to
destroy your marriage.

296
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,010
What do I do?

297
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,321
Engage her feelings,
become a friend.

298
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:48,290
Get her a <i>LIFE Magazine</i>
from the week she was born.

299
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:49,805
I'll always treasure mine.

300
00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:54,528
You're absolutely right!

301
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,090
Stop this ride!

302
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:57,924
You're the boss!

303
00:15:01,320 --> 00:15:03,243
(SCREAMING)

304
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,401
I want to go again, Daddy!

305
00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:07,527
Daddy?

306
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,890
Marge, my darling!
Thank God you're home!

307
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,122
I've been dying to
hear your feelings!

308
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,806
Oh, I'm too tired to talk.

309
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,042
Well, I can go
all night, baby.

310
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,327
I could listen to you two,
maybe three times.

311
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:24,441
Homie, I'm tired.
I have to get up
early to catch my flight.

312
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,010
Catch your flight?

313
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:28,525
Moe and I are going

314
00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,125
to the Tavern and
Restaurant Owners

315
00:15:30,240 --> 00:15:32,049
Convention in
Aruba this weekend.

316
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:35,768
Don't you ever listen to me?
I told you 10 times.

317
00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:37,524
(SNORING)

318
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,280
Cuckold! Cuckold! Cuckold!

319
00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:46,691
What's a cuckold?

320
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,285
Where's Mom
going with Uncle Moe?

321
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:05,489
He's only your
emotional uncle!
I'm your real uncle!

322
00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,767
Well, if Hollywood movies
have taught us anything,

323
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,730
it's that troubled
relationships can be
completely patched up

324
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:12,404
by a mad dash
to the airport.

325
00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:13,527
I'm off!

326
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,731
PILOT: <i>Folks, welcome to
No Frills Airlines'
flight to Aruba.</i>

327
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,968
<i>Safety instructions are $2.</i>

328
00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:23,688
<i>If you require wheelchair
assistance, you picked
the wrong airline. Ha-ha.</i>

329
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:26,601
(GULPS)

330
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:29,923
You know, Marge,
I've really enjoyed you
working at the bar.

331
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:34,369
Me, too, Moe.
What a nice surprise
that we've become friends!

332
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:38,291
<i>Yeah. Oh, Marge,
I'm so in love with you.</i>

333
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:42,001
<i>And tonight,
after some surf and turf
and a bottle of champagne,</i>

334
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,320
<i>maybe some Snickers pie,</i>

335
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,051
<i>I'll explain
how the hotel made
a little mistake,</i>

336
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:49,602
<i>And we got to stay in
the same room. Oh, yeah!</i>
(CHUCKLES)

337
00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:52,047
Moe, your upper lip
is trembling.

338
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,964
I'm just excited
because they're showing

339
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:57,566
An episode of <i>Boy Meets World</i>
on this flight.

340
00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,608
Oh, no, wait.
That's only on
flights from Europe.

341
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,047
We just get
that little plane.

342
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,531
Hey, wait a minute.
What the hell is that?

343
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,602
Hang on, Marge!
Homie's coming!

344
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,001
I won't let that
man make you happy!

345
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:14,122
(SIREN BLARING)
Oh!

346
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,050
Simpson, you were
going 100 in a 25 zone,

347
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:20,327
and you're not gonna flirt
your way out of this one.

348
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:23,051
But l have to
get to the airport
to save my marriage!

349
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:26,488
Really? Well, why didn't
you say so? Let's roll!

350
00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,927
You didn't work this hard
to save my marriage.

351
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,447
Again with that. Wake up, Lou.
She was way out
of your league.

352
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,289
FEMALE VOICE:
<i>Flight attendants,
prepare for takeoff.</i>

353
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,531
<i>Time for some
shuba-duba in Aruba.</i>

354
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:48,967
Oh, my God!

355
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,566
Moe, did you see
something troubling
on the tarmac?

356
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:52,880
No. Why do you say that?

357
00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:58,403
You got to get
me closer, Chief!

358
00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,323
Anything for love!

359
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,481
(GRUNTS)

360
00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,607
Okay, time to chase
this pig into the sty.

361
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:09,445
Uh, Marge, you deserve
a man who listens to you,

362
00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,443
who respects you,
who understands

363
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:13,483
what a treasure
you really are.

364
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,324
I don't know what to say.

365
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:19,564
Just say you love me, Marge.
Love me like I love you.
Please?

366
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:23,810
HOMER: Marge!

367
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:25,530
That sounds like Homer.

368
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,045
No, it isn't.
I don't hear nothing.
You're crazy.

369
00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:28,406
Get out of here.
Will you marry me?

370
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,960
Homer! How'd you
get in here?

371
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:33,451
Toilet hole.

372
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:35,287
You leave my wife alone!

373
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:36,447
You don't deserve her!

374
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:37,806
You know nothing
about Marge.

375
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:39,086
What's her favorite food?

376
00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:40,924
Uh, ice?

377
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,843
Wrong! It's buttered noodles.

378
00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:43,921
He's right.

379
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:48,369
Oh, it's true.
I don't know Marge at all.
I'll just go home now.

380
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:50,209
(GASPING)

381
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,411
(SCREAMING)

382
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:54,970
Shut it! Shut it!

383
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,287
(GRUNTS)

384
00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:02,285
Moe, you've won.
I'll see you
at baggage claim.

385
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:03,646
Hot damn, I won!

386
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,610
Marge, I swear I'll be
the best man you ever had.

387
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,728
It's gonna be all flowers,
and back rubs,

388
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:10,842
and, "How was your
day, dear?" and...

389
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,691
Moe! No,
I don't love you,

390
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:16,240
and I'm certainly not going
to leave my husband.

391
00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:19,324
You mean I listened to all
your touchy-feely
yip-yap for nothing?

392
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:20,845
I'm afraid so.

393
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:22,524
At least I had
a couple of sips from your

394
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,005
Coke when you
went to the bathroom.

395
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:25,570
(SOBBING)

396
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:27,324
Homie...

397
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:31,291
Marge, I just want to say,
if you ever feel
like cheating on Moe,

398
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:32,441
here's my card.

399
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,722
Homer, I made a vow
on our wedding day
to stay by you,

400
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,165
for better or worse.

401
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,204
And besides, I love you.

402
00:19:42,280 --> 00:19:44,726
You're my
Homie-womie-romie-domie.

403
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,485
And you're my
Margie-wargie-bargie

404
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,331
fargie-gargie-margie-
targie-largie.

405
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:53,691
I may have dodged
a bullet here.

406
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:59,090
Might as well face it,
I'll never find anyone.

407
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:03,484
Come on tide, take me with ya.
I just don't want
to feel no more pain.

408
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,291
Ow, ow, ow! Ow! Oh!

409
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:11,328
Moe, I need to tell
you something.

410
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:13,766
(GRUNTS) Ow!

411
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:17,085
You showed me
you could be
a really sweet guy.

412
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:20,209
You can make a woman
very happy someday.

413
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:21,970
Wow. For realsies?

414
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:24,880
It's true.
You'd be quite a catch

415
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:26,689
if you'd just shower,
and shave,

416
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,609
and stop swearing
under your breath.

417
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:30,649
Aw, thanks, Marge.

418
00:20:30,720 --> 00:20:32,768
Know-it-all bitch.

419
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:37,243
Oh! Uh, did I mention
there was a mistake
at the front desk? (LAUGHS)

420
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,927
Really?
Is it one that will change
the sleeping arrangements?

421
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,970
Could be. Could be.
(CHUCKLES)

422
00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,850
Listen, I got to tell you,
I chew in my sleep.

423
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,410
Yeah, well, I sweat blood.

424
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,482
Good night, both of you.

425
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:52,801
(GASPS)

426
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,370
Who's watching the kids?

427
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,767
Are you sure Mom
and Dad want us

428
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,201
to enter a European
balloon race?

429
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:00,731
Sure. Why not?

430
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:14,570
♪ <i>Love
Love will keep us together</i>

431
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,286
♪ <i>Think of me, babe, whenever</i>

432
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:24,969
♪ <i>Some sweet-talking guy
in a thong hands you a bong</i>

433
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:28,123
♪ Don't take a hit
You just got to be strong</i>

434
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,123
MARGE: ♪ <i>You better stop</i>

435
00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:32,129
HOMER:
♪'<i>'Cause I want a sandwich</i>

436
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,089
MARGE: ♪ <i>I said stop</i>

437
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,123
HOMER: ♪ <i>Or maybe
a Manwich... </i>♪