1 00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:05,130 (SINGING) The Simpsons 2 00:00:06,590 --> 00:00:08,263 (TIRES SCREECHING) 3 00:00:09,218 --> 00:00:10,219 D'oh! 4 00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:11,349 (EXCLAIMING) 5 00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,975 (TIRES SCREECHING) 6 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,954 You know, we should visit Shelbyville more often. 7 00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:35,794 They have a store that just sells shoes. 8 00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:38,121 I feel like I'm in Paris! 9 00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:41,338 Oh! The famous Shelbyville Theater District! 10 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:42,592 Can we see a play? 11 00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:43,760 A play? 12 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:45,967 All plays suck, all the time, and always will, 13 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,047 and everyone knows it. 14 00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:48,594 Look, we'll compromise. 15 00:00:48,674 --> 00:00:50,301 We'll go see a play 16 00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,478 that Lisa doesn't want to see. Huh? 17 00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:53,603 Let's see... 18 00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:56,023 There's Equus starring Sideshow Mel, 19 00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:59,147 the 3 Dollar Bills in Gay, Gay, Gay! 20 00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:02,070 Ooh! Song of Shelbyville. 21 00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:06,526 (SINGING) From the schoolhouse where our grandparents learnt 22 00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:09,745 To the bad zoo where all the animals burnt 23 00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:13,282 We're home to Christian, Muslim and Jew 24 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,418 Although not many of the last two 25 00:01:18,370 --> 00:01:21,044 There's a girl for every guy 26 00:01:21,999 --> 00:01:24,593 Birthplace of the button fly 27 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:30,350 In good old Shelbyville! 28 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,565 Say, fellow Shelbyvillian, 29 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,733 enjoying our famous low humidity? 30 00:01:40,851 --> 00:01:43,445 I'll say. The only thing lower than our humidity 31 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,898 are the greens fees on our public golf course. 32 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:48,071 Which one? All three! 33 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:50,156 (ALL CHEERING) Yes. Yes. 34 00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:53,785 Why' look, it's Springfield Billy! 35 00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:55,783 (ALL HOOTING) 36 00:01:58,535 --> 00:02:00,537 What are you doing here in Shelbyville? 37 00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:04,174 I came here for the legalized gambling. 38 00:02:04,374 --> 00:02:05,500 But Springfield Billy, 39 00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:07,382 we don't have legalized gambling here. 40 00:02:07,628 --> 00:02:08,845 Sure you do. 41 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:12,800 I saw a bumper sticker that said "Free Tibet." 42 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,055 (ALL LAUGHING) 43 00:02:16,637 --> 00:02:19,732 (GASPS) They're saying Springfielders are stupid hicks. 44 00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,435 It's like looking in a mirror. 45 00:02:22,684 --> 00:02:24,402 What's a mirror? 46 00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:26,897 It's a big city word for reversifying glass. 47 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:28,148 Oh! 48 00:02:28,231 --> 00:02:29,733 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) 49 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,073 That show was hilarious. 50 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,450 That Springfield Billy cracks me up. 51 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:35,872 For your information, 52 00:02:35,947 --> 00:02:38,370 Springfielders can be intelligent and articulate. 53 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:41,291 I happen to know because we're from Springfield. 54 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,918 Springfielders? Oh! (THUDS) 55 00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:45,961 (ALL HOOTING) 56 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:51,672 MARGE: This is the worst crisis 57 00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:54,975 the Springfield Cultural Activities Board has ever faced. 58 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:57,769 Those Shelbyvillians are maligning us all. 59 00:02:57,844 --> 00:03:00,848 I've never heard such mean-spirited hate-hoots. 60 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:03,309 We've got to upgrade Springfield's image, 61 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,151 show them we're more than just a town 62 00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:06,479 that's still afraid of eclipses. 63 00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:10,774 Hey, how 'bout we open a fancy restaurant, 64 00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:13,569 and when people check their hats and coats, we steal them? 65 00:03:13,652 --> 00:03:15,529 Why do you come to these meetings? 66 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:16,863 Free water. 67 00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:17,914 There must be something else. 68 00:03:17,989 --> 00:03:19,411 Think, Marge, think. 69 00:03:19,491 --> 00:03:22,995 Culture... Vulture... Birds of prey... 70 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:25,880 Pray in a church... The Father, Son and Holy Ghost... 71 00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:28,755 Ghosts are scary... Scary rhymes with Gehry! 72 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,217 That's it! 73 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:32,387 Architect Frank Gehry! 74 00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:36,099 He could build us a concert hall like he did in Los Angeles. 75 00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:39,929 Well, we could use a new HQ for the Springfield Philharmonic. 76 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,306 They're playing Gustav Mahler in abject squalor. 77 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,936 (MUSIC PLAYING) 78 00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:46,901 Little help? 79 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,399 (SCOFFS) Next time we're keeping it. 80 00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:51,277 Then ifs agreed. 81 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:54,155 We ask Frank Gehry to build us a concert hall. 82 00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:00,707 Bill, bill, Bilbao, bill... 83 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:03,877 Snoopy stationery! 84 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:09,458 MARGE: Dear Mr. Gehry, would you please build a concert hall for our town? 85 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:12,010 We may not be the biggest city, or the prettiest, 86 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:16,511 but we were the first city in America to abandon the metric system. 87 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,217 (MARGE LAUGHING) 88 00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:20,928 (GROANS) 89 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:24,181 (GASPS) 90 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:27,734 Frank Gehry, you're a genius! 91 00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:32,443 Behold the new Springfield Concert Hall. 92 00:04:32,522 --> 00:04:33,614 ALL: Ooh! 93 00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,317 And none of this would have happened 94 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:38,278 if not for a letter I received from one little girl. 95 00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:39,700 I wrote that letter. 96 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,784 You wrote I was "the bestest architect in the world"? 97 00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:44,038 Well, aren't you? 98 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:48,418 All in favor of building a $30 million "screw you" to Shelbyville? 99 00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:49,539 ALL: Aye! 100 00:04:49,664 --> 00:04:51,086 (CLAMORING) 101 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,355 Get off my masterpiece, you punks! 102 00:05:05,472 --> 00:05:06,724 I'll call your mothers! 103 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,525 Yo, Frank Gehry! 104 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,898 Like curvilinear forms much? 105 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,608 (GRUNTS) 106 00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,569 (HUMMING) Huh? 107 00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:15,732 (SNORING) 108 00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,944 Hey, cat, get your own pants! 109 00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:19,406 (GRUNTS) 110 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:22,660 Kids! Why's the cat so fat? 111 00:05:23,073 --> 00:05:24,495 Dad, Snowball's not fat. 112 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,417 She's just got winter fur. 113 00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:28,120 (GRUNTS) 114 00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:30,463 Okay, she's fat. 115 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,208 (CHOKES) Can't breathe... 116 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,419 Someone dangle some string. 117 00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:39,431 (MEOWING) 118 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:41,136 (MUSIC PLAYS) 119 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,435 I'm so excited. 120 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:46,764 It's like giving birth to a child of steel and iron. 121 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:51,109 (BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH SYMPHONY PLAYING) 122 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,692 Where is everybody going? 123 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:00,573 The symphony, she has just started! 124 00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:01,869 So? We already heard the 125 00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,197 Dum, dum, dum, dum 126 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,406 The rest is just filler. 127 00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:07,952 I thought this was gonna be the soundtrack to the movie Beethoven. 128 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,581 Was I sadly mistaken. 129 00:06:09,786 --> 00:06:11,379 It sounds better on my cell phone. 130 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:13,957 (BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH SYMPHONY PLAYING) 131 00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:15,717 Don't leave now! 132 00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:19,092 The next piece is an atonal medley by Philip Glass. 133 00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:20,718 (ALL SCREAM) 134 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:35,900 QUIMBY: You stupid hicks! Why didn't you tell me you hated classical music? 135 00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,356 We didn't have time. 136 00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:39,658 The concert hall was designed and built so quickly. 137 00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:41,868 We're broke, but I have a plan. 138 00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,662 We change the name of the town to escape our creditors. 139 00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,076 I need names, people! 140 00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,123 Lima, Peru! 141 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:48,620 Gotham City! Wiggumville! 142 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:49,701 Burger King! 143 00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,377 MR. BURNS: Perhaps I can be of assistance. 144 00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:57,501 Smithers, tear me a new drape hole. 145 00:07:01,630 --> 00:07:04,975 If you hand over the concert hall to me, I'll assume the debt 146 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,553 and all of your problems will disappear. (SNAPS) 147 00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,437 The building is yours. 148 00:07:09,512 --> 00:07:10,559 Excellent! 149 00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:13,520 MARGE: (GASPS) He's turned it into a prison! 150 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,269 (GRUNTS) 151 00:07:16,853 --> 00:07:18,355 (ALL HOOTING) 152 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:25,362 (CLAMORING) 153 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:33,874 Let's see now. Barely finished high school. 154 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:38,505 You've challenged me to fight six times since the interview began... 155 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,085 Make it seven! 156 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:45,010 Mr. Simpson, I like the way you go nuts over nothing. 157 00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:48,139 Now all you have to do is pass this drug test. 158 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:49,260 Hmm. 159 00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:53,560 (HUMMING) 160 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,309 Hmm? 161 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,357 (MUSIC PLAYING) 162 00:08:03,775 --> 00:08:06,073 Cool, but I'll never pass with this. 163 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,287 I better switch samples. 164 00:08:10,740 --> 00:08:11,741 (CHUCKLES) 165 00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,535 (HUMMING) 166 00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:17,881 MR. BURNS: Simpson, I haven't seen so many drugs in a wang 167 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,251 since I ran a Chinese opium den! 168 00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,836 "Crack, smack, uppers, downers, cutters, inners, 169 00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:25,923 "horse tranquilizers, cow paralyzers, blue bombers, 170 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,804 "Green goofers, yellow submarines, 171 00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:31,554 "LSD Mach 3, and trace amounts of...(GRUNTS) 172 00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:32,762 "Human urine"? 173 00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:35,269 Well, there must have been a mistake. 174 00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:37,184 My body is a temple. 175 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:43,823 Guards, remove this coked-out man-balloon from my sight! 176 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,027 But he misread my pee! 177 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:50,284 He misread my pee! (CRYING) 178 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:52,415 (STRETCHING) 179 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,576 We're not overfeeding her. 180 00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,294 We've been giving her this low-fat cat food! 181 00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:04,135 I'll bet she's sneaking food from someplace else. 182 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,378 Let's follow her! 183 00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,214 I'd rather follow the dog. 184 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,802 I think he's up to something. 185 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,179 (ZOOMING) 186 00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:13,849 One thing at a time, Bart. 187 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,228 (MEOWING) 188 00:09:24,105 --> 00:09:25,357 (MEOWING) 189 00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:29,027 There you are, Smokey! 190 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,077 Snowball ll has another family! 191 00:09:33,156 --> 00:09:35,955 This is worse than when we thought Mom was having an affair. 192 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:38,753 Turned out she was just going to the library to cry. 193 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:41,172 Now she just bottles up her misery like a normal mom. 194 00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:43,587 Gentlemen, my prison is losing money. 195 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,253 We need more convicts in the dungeonarium. 196 00:09:46,461 --> 00:09:47,963 Dungeonarium. That's catchy. 197 00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:49,801 Well, I could beef up arrests 198 00:09:49,881 --> 00:09:52,555 by enforcing some of these old forgotten laws. 199 00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:54,344 (GRUNTS) (THUDS) 200 00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,187 Okeydokey. 201 00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,349 Let's see here. 202 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:01,434 Here's one from 1834. 203 00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:05,523 "It's unlawful for a man to be hatless during daylight hours." 204 00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:09,158 Hmm. Hmm? 205 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,987 Smithers, if I didn't arrest you that night in the park, 206 00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:13,538 I'm not going to arrest you now. 207 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:18,202 Stupid prison guard jobs thinks it's so big. (CLATTERS) 208 00:10:18,868 --> 00:10:21,246 Everyone gets a prison job but me. 209 00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,249 All my best friends are guards. 210 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:27,719 They think they're so cruel and corrupt, but they're not. 211 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:31,969 Okay, boys, here's a loony law from 1911. 212 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,925 "Five kicks of the same can 213 00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:37,057 "shall be considered illegally transporting litter." 214 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,064 (GRUNTS) (CLUTTERS) 215 00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:43,610 (GRUNTS) (CLUTTERS) 216 00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:45,904 That's a hard five. All units move in. (SIREN WAILS) 217 00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:48,615 We're putting you away, Kicky Mantle. 218 00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:51,238 And give that can the whole CS! treatment. 219 00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,661 You know, lab tests, weird lights, 220 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:55,488 Shots from the can's point of view. 221 00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:58,875 Yeah, that's it. 222 00:10:58,950 --> 00:11:00,873 Lots of flash and no meaning. 223 00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:05,086 (LAUGHS) Okay, new meat, you're clean. (GURGLING) 224 00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:07,797 I'm not supposed to be new meat. 225 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:09,961 I'm supposed to have your job. 226 00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:12,467 I'm sick of you positing an alternate reality! 227 00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:14,432 (GURGLING) 228 00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:17,894 (CLANKING) 229 00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:25,895 No Frank Gehry designed prison can hold me! Ha-ha! 230 00:11:27,145 --> 00:11:28,442 (GRUNTS) 231 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,444 Oh, my God, that man might be hurt! 232 00:11:34,652 --> 00:11:36,780 Guards, there's a prisoner in there! 233 00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,791 Nice nab, Simpson. 234 00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:46,581 You did the right thing squealing on that guy. 235 00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:49,297 Squealing? No. I just wanted to help him. 236 00:11:49,459 --> 00:11:53,464 Whatever. How'd you like to be a full-time rat? 237 00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:54,930 Really? 238 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:57,100 You mean eat cheese, gnaw through electrical cords, 239 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,802 things like that? (MUNCHING LOUDLY) 240 00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:02,805 Not exactly. 241 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:04,982 Mr. Burns, I've thought about it, 242 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:06,605 and I don't want to be a snitch. 243 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,069 It's not an honorable life. 244 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,238 Now, now, there are perks. 245 00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:13,700 A private cell, extra dessert, and this adorable little hat. 246 00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,995 Well, I am a sucker for a little hat. 247 00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:18,739 So, we have an agreement? 248 00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,789 Well... I don't know. 249 00:12:20,865 --> 00:12:23,539 But it's the only way you'll survive in here. 250 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,415 Well, I would like to survive long enough 251 00:12:28,498 --> 00:12:30,171 to see the effects of global warming. 252 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,470 (WHISPERS) I've got an inside tip that it's all a bunch of crap. 253 00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:36,426 Okay, you've found your snitch. 254 00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:39,180 Excellent! Now, what have you got for me? 255 00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:42,349 (WHISPERS) Homer Simpson has become a snitch. 256 00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,018 (GRUNTS) Tell me something I don't know. 257 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:49,194 Sometimes I go to the movies alone. 258 00:12:56,025 --> 00:12:58,323 Say, is that a gang tattoo? 259 00:12:58,403 --> 00:12:59,620 I thought those weren't allowed. 260 00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:01,369 Yeah, it's a gang I was in as a kid. 261 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:03,833 GMS. "Galactic Mystery Solvers“. 262 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:07,037 (SIGHS) The only mystery we couldn't solve was how not to grow up. 263 00:13:07,912 --> 00:13:08,913 Hmm? 264 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,837 That's right, an unauthorized tattoo. 265 00:13:11,958 --> 00:13:13,210 I came here right away. 266 00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:14,677 Very good. 267 00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:17,596 Here you go! 268 00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:21,017 42-inch plasma TV as a thank you from your... 269 00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,594 Your, mother. 270 00:13:22,677 --> 00:13:24,975 Oh, that "my mother." 271 00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,396 Tell him thanks. 272 00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,229 Okay, Tattoo Man. 273 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,276 It's a month in the hole for you. 274 00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:31,819 Solitary confinement? 275 00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:34,317 But without my weekly canasta, I'll die. 276 00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:36,070 (STUTTERS) It's my raison d'être. 277 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:42,784 (SNIFFS) Ew! 278 00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:46,243 Smokey, you've got that awful smell on you again. 279 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:48,495 That's the smell of her real family, 280 00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:49,830 the Simpsons! 281 00:13:50,121 --> 00:13:52,215 And for your information, our walls have a bunch 282 00:13:52,290 --> 00:13:53,667 of dead raccoons in them, 283 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:56,378 but we are saving up the money to find them. 284 00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:57,553 Well, whatever. 285 00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,847 Smokey's our cat. (MEOWS) 286 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,641 Smokey, stay! 287 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,343 Now back. 288 00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:05,553 Heel. 289 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:06,975 Snowball does tricks? 290 00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:09,808 Sure. Come on, Smokey, do your Smokey shuffle. 291 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,109 (BOTH CLAPPING) 292 00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:18,275 Well, I don't care what you say. 293 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,031 She still loves us more. 294 00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,907 Don't you, Snowball? 295 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:23,784 (HISSING) (MEOWING) 296 00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:31,125 You toyed with my heart like it was a toy heart. 297 00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:36,588 Gentlemen, we must determine which of our fellow inmates 298 00:14:36,667 --> 00:14:40,012 has become me rodentus incarcerarium. 299 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,178 You heard the boss. Find the rat. 300 00:14:42,423 --> 00:14:44,721 I found the rat, and he's right here. 301 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,428 I ain't the rat, I'm the pigeon. 302 00:14:46,511 --> 00:14:47,728 I thought you was the mole. 303 00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:50,148 No, you're thinking of that guy who was the canary. 304 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:51,390 But we can all agree, 305 00:14:51,474 --> 00:14:54,023 we work in a business with a very rich lexicon. 306 00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,861 Rich lexicon, very rich. (ALL AGREE) 307 00:14:57,271 --> 00:14:59,114 Ooh! A Tiffany's box! 308 00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:01,701 And the thing inside is from Tiffany's! 309 00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:04,946 Homie, you've never done this before. How'd you afford it? 310 00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,498 Well, if you really must know, 311 00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:10,501 (WHISPERS) I'm a prison snitch. 312 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:13,204 (GASPS) Haven't you seen what happens to people 313 00:15:13,287 --> 00:15:15,005 who rat in prison movies? 314 00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:16,757 Sure, they're on top of the world. 315 00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,801 Then there's a big riot scene. 316 00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:21,220 Then... I don't know. I usually doze off. 317 00:15:21,337 --> 00:15:23,385 The prison snitch is killed! 318 00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:24,681 And that could be you. 319 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,430 Because you're the prison snitch! 320 00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:27,510 (ALL GASP) 321 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:30,016 (ALL GROWL) What are you dupes looking at? 322 00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,518 You've never seen bling-bling before? 323 00:15:32,682 --> 00:15:33,934 What is it they have 324 00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:36,360 that keeps Snowball coming back to their house? 325 00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:38,275 Only one way to find out. 326 00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:39,940 (BELL RINGS) 327 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:44,448 My baby turtle crawled into your basement window. 328 00:15:44,527 --> 00:15:46,325 0h, you poor boy. 329 00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:47,993 What's your turtle's name? 330 00:15:48,197 --> 00:15:49,369 Uh... 331 00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:50,954 Apron Boobs-face? 332 00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,707 Really? Well, let's go find it. 333 00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:55,292 And what's your name? 334 00:15:55,538 --> 00:15:56,539 Uh... 335 00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,920 Shoes... Butt-back? 336 00:15:59,542 --> 00:16:01,089 HOMER: Uh-huh. 337 00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:02,545 Hmm. 338 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,718 Psst. (WHISPERS) There's a jailbreak tonight 339 00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:10,390 How come nobody told me before? 340 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,098 I sent you an e-vite. You never responded. 341 00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:14,774 Nice netiquette, jerk. 342 00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:19,903 (WHISPERS) There's gonna be a breakout tonight. 343 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:23,074 Very good. Now, I'd like a little more information. 344 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:26,115 Are biographies arranged by author or subject? 345 00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:32,075 What is Bart still doing in there? 346 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:34,877 You forgot to take some brownies. 347 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:37,213 Thanks, Mother Dexter! I'll be back tomorrow. 348 00:16:37,288 --> 00:16:39,290 Bart, why were you in there so long? 349 00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:40,920 Lis, that place is great! 350 00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,426 They have a jukebox in the basement. 351 00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:43,924 And look at the trick they taught me! 352 00:16:44,420 --> 00:16:45,763 (HUMMING) 353 00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:48,345 Are you watching? 354 00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,301 Are you watching? (MOANS) 355 00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:55,060 When they come busting out, we'll be ready. 356 00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:58,063 Every single guard is outside waiting for them. 357 00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:59,769 Something don't feel right. 358 00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:02,109 Usually when there's a jailbreak, 359 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,316 there's electricity in the air, 360 00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:07,531 like the calm before a summer storm. 361 00:17:07,610 --> 00:17:09,658 Or right before a heavyweight fight. 362 00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:11,998 Mine's more poetic. (GROANS) 363 00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:14,830 Now, where the hell are they? 364 00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:17,253 PRISONERS: Kill the rat! 365 00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:19,130 Kill the rat! 366 00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:20,965 Kill the rat! 367 00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:22,758 Kill the rat! 368 00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,128 What happened to the guards? 369 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,554 PRISONERS: Kill the rat! 370 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,131 Okay, okay. Don't panic. 371 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,595 Maybe they'll tire themselves outwith their chant. 372 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:34,887 (GASPS) 373 00:17:36,722 --> 00:17:38,440 I call the balls of his feet! 374 00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:39,650 (ALL SHOUTING ANGRILY) 375 00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:45,940 Marge, they're gonna kill me! 376 00:17:46,107 --> 00:17:47,154 Oh. 377 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,244 I only did what I had to do to survive 378 00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,744 in a style befitting a French monarch. (SCREAMS) 379 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:54,907 (ALL SHOUTING ANGRILY) 380 00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:57,577 Flaw. Segway, fly! 381 00:17:57,660 --> 00:17:58,957 (SCREAMS) 382 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:08,341 We've all heard of a laugh riot, but a prison riot'? 383 00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:11,390 Kent Brockman high above Montgomery Burns State Penitentiary, 384 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:14,469 where our expensive Thermocam 3000 385 00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,554 is finally being used for something. 386 00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:18,932 This red glow is the heat from a pack of inmates 387 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:21,939 who are desperately looking for prison snitch, Homer Simpson, 388 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:23,686 This massive blob over here, 389 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:27,114 who is attempting to hide in the kitchen area. Good luck, blobby. 390 00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:30,781 (PRISONERS CHANTING) Kill the rat! Then have snack! Kill the rat! 391 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:31,907 Homer. 392 00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:33,579 Homer, where are you? 393 00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:36,207 (GRUNTS) Marge! How did you get in here? 394 00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:37,955 As president of the cultural board, 395 00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,877 I was given a key to the concert hall. 396 00:18:39,994 --> 00:18:41,416 (SLAMS DOOR) 397 00:18:42,538 --> 00:18:44,882 There's the filthy rat we're gonna kill. 398 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,171 And his wife, 399 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:48,719 who sometimes drives my son home from school. 400 00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:50,880 Oh, you must be Michael's dad! 401 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,632 Marge, come on! (GRUNTS) 402 00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:54,426 We'll be safe in the gas chamber. 403 00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,850 (GRUNTS) (SCREECHING) 404 00:19:01,098 --> 00:19:03,977 I want you to look into the faces of those poor men. 405 00:19:04,060 --> 00:19:07,405 Each one is a life you made worse with your ratting. 406 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,240 (ALL STRAINING) 407 00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:17,081 Oh. Marge, I'm sorry I got you into this mess. 408 00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:20,410 Can I snitch on my heart and say I love you? 409 00:19:20,618 --> 00:19:22,461 Oh, Homie... 410 00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:26,916 (ALL STRAINING) (EXPLOSION) 411 00:19:27,708 --> 00:19:28,709 (GAS HISSING) (PRISONERS COUGHING) 412 00:19:29,543 --> 00:19:31,511 Tear gas, my one weakness. 413 00:19:31,754 --> 00:19:33,301 (ALL GROANING) 414 00:19:39,762 --> 00:19:41,230 You can come in, Governor. 415 00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:47,645 Well, I'll make these rioters regret their folly. 416 00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:50,531 This prison will make Abu Ghraib look like the Four Seasons. 417 00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:52,859 Smithers, we'll need electrical wire, a hood 418 00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:55,445 and someone who can really point at genitalia. 419 00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,579 Done and done, sir. 420 00:19:58,489 --> 00:19:59,786 (GRUNTS) 421 00:20:00,574 --> 00:20:01,575 Hold on a minute. 422 00:20:01,742 --> 00:20:04,712 Governor, I've been using my powers of snitching for evil, 423 00:20:04,954 --> 00:20:07,298 But now I want to tattle for good. 424 00:20:07,415 --> 00:20:08,837 This prison is a hellhole. 425 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:12,295 They feed us horse meat, with traces of jockey meat! 426 00:20:12,420 --> 00:20:15,299 I'll have you know I buy the finest cuts of beef. 427 00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:17,512 (MILITARY TRUMPET PLAYING) 428 00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:23,014 The guards are sadistic and cruel. 429 00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:24,811 I can't help the way I am. 430 00:20:24,974 --> 00:20:28,569 When I was a boy, I saw my father murdered before my eyes. 431 00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:29,858 By me. 432 00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:32,528 Governor, I think the only fair solution 433 00:20:32,606 --> 00:20:35,530 is to pardon all these thugs and murderers. 434 00:20:35,651 --> 00:20:38,450 Well, since there's no room in the prisons you came from, 435 00:20:38,571 --> 00:20:40,824 I'm releasing you all to a garbage barge, 436 00:20:40,906 --> 00:20:42,158 where you will bare-knuckle box 437 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:44,790 till one of you emerges as king of your floating hell. 438 00:20:44,994 --> 00:20:46,371 (ALL CHEER) 439 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,586 You know what I missed in the joint? 440 00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:52,714 Just lying here watching you sleeping sweetly. 441 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,883 Sleeping sweetly. 442 00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:57,840 Sleeping sweetly... 443 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:05,974 I won't tell if you don't tell. 444 00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:14,862 Listen to me! This whole building is unsafe. 445 00:21:15,024 --> 00:21:16,446 They cut corners everywhere. 446 00:21:16,525 --> 00:21:19,074 People! It's a deathtrap. 447 00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:21,789 No, Dad, you fell asleep in front of the TV 448 00:21:21,864 --> 00:21:23,832 watching The Towering Inferno. 449 00:21:23,908 --> 00:21:27,333 How do you know the title of my prophetic vision?