﻿1
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♪ <i>The Simpsons</i> ♪

2
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(TIRES SCREECHING)

3
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D'oh!

4
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(EXCLAIMING)
(BRAKES SCREECHING)

5
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,886
Hey, Lise,
there's your boyfriend.

6
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:33,601
(SIGHS)

7
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:36,647
(LAUGHS)

8
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,731
Oh, yeah? Well,
there's your girlfriend.

9
00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:41,609
(BLABBERING)

10
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:43,927
Ah?

11
00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:46,043
Yeah, well,
you love Moleman.

12
00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:47,167
No, you do.

13
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:48,890
You're gay
for Moleman!

14
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:50,371
You're gay for Moleman!

15
00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:51,965
(BOTH GRUNTING)

16
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No one's gay for Moleman.

17
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(BOTH GRUNTING)

18
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Where are we?

19
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You're gay for Moleman!

20
00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,683
Bart, Lisa, welcome.
I've been expecting you.

21
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(BOTH GASP)

22
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:12,044
Your gasps
are appropriate,

23
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:15,283
because I have perfectly
predicted the future.

24
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,409
How did you know
we were coming?

25
00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:22,326
Because, my dear,
I have mastered
the one true science.

26
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:23,845
Astrology.

27
00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:25,888
Don't you
mean astronomy?

28
00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,928
No, my dear,
I said astrology.

29
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,047
For years, you see,

30
00:01:29,120 --> 00:01:32,920
astrology was
the Tampa Bay Devil Rays
of the sciences.

31
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Not so good.

32
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:37,091
But with new,
more powerful computers,

33
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,766
astrology can show you
the future.

34
00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:42,730
Would you like
to see yourselves
as teenagers?

35
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,201
No.
Let's go there now.

36
00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:50,047
Feast your eyes on
the wondrous world
of eight years from Tuesday.

37
00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,685
Kids, come down
for your prom photo.

38
00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:14,686
Ooh!

39
00:02:15,720 --> 00:02:17,006
Smile.

40
00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:22,046
Oh, it's so great.

41
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:25,528
We can do anything
now that scientists
have invented magic.

42
00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,489
I'm so proud of you.

43
00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:30,643
Lisa graduating
two years early.

44
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,564
And Bart...

45
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:34,810
Graduating.

46
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:36,805
What'd I miss?
What'd I miss?

47
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,281
Homer, we're separated now.

48
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,727
You can't just walk in
without knocking.

49
00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:44,280
Well, maybe I was
partying so hard

50
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:46,328
with my single friends
last night,

51
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,243
I forgot the rules.

52
00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,926
Could you
please stop fighting
in front of us?

53
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,571
(EERILY) Why? Is it
messing you up?

54
00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:56,804
Homer, just settle down.

55
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,564
We just got a postcard
from Maggie.

56
00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:02,447
She's really
enjoying Alaska.

57
00:03:04,760 --> 00:03:05,761
(GROANS)

58
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:09,850
Stupid wildlife.
Serves them right.
(DOORBELL RINGS)

59
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,928
Lisa, your date's here.

60
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,001
Hey, Lisa.

61
00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:16,730
Milhouse? Ugh!

62
00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:20,128
I've been turning
him down for the prom
since kindergarten.

63
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,441
Yes. You relented at age 12

64
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,488
when he pulled you
out of a house fire,

65
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,443
which you later
found out he started.

66
00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:28,562
You should have seen
the look on your face.

67
00:03:28,640 --> 00:03:30,210
In fact, here it is.

68
00:03:31,320 --> 00:03:33,209
Now, back to your teens.

69
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,123
Sorry I'm late, Lisa.

70
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,601
I was at the gym,
totally gunning my lats.

71
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:39,489
Just gunning them.

72
00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:40,800
(GRUNTS)

73
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:45,210
Oh, man. The deposit
on this tux was
200 Reagans.

74
00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:50,247
Hey, everybody.
Bart, you're looking crooked.

75
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,846
Hey, Jenda, how about
some forehead?

76
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:54,281
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS)

77
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,362
That was jagged.

78
00:03:56,520 --> 00:04:00,525
Hmm. When I was a kid,
we didn't show our affection
by head-butting.

79
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:02,489
Oh, Marge.

80
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:05,320
(GROANS)

81
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:08,407
Oh, right, separated.

82
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:10,050
('80S ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

83
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:17,570
Ach! Who knew that
bio-engineered food
would to lead to smart puke?

84
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,005
(SQUEAKING)

85
00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:22,571
Oh. You think you're better
than me, eh, puke?

86
00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:31,366
So, Nelson,
who did you end up
bringing tonight?

87
00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:32,771
Sherri, or Terri?

88
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:35,366
Uh, it didn't
seem fair to choose.

89
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:37,407
BABY 1: Ha-ha!

90
00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:38,561
BABY 2: Ha-ha!

91
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,324
(CLEARS THROAT)
Welcome, seniors

92
00:04:40,400 --> 00:04:42,801
and sexually-precocious
underclassmen.

93
00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,929
I'd like to say goodbye
to those who are
going off to college,

94
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:50,130
or to fight in Gulf War V,
Operation Find Our
President's Head.

95
00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:53,204
ALL; USA! Find the head!

96
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:56,244
USA! Find the head!

97
00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,891
And now,
here's Assistant
Principal Kearney.

98
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,531
Okay, I want
a nice, clean prom.

99
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:07,642
That means
no booze, kick, puff,
doze, maxx, stim, or turb.

100
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:09,927
Remember, stim kills.

101
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,527
It's what turned
Superintendent Chalmers
into a vegetable.

102
00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:20,885
Skinner. Skinner. Skinner.

103
00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:23,367
I can use
the potty now.

104
00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:31,446
Mmm.

105
00:05:31,720 --> 00:05:33,245
(PSYCHEDELIC MUSIC PLAYING)

106
00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:38,441
(SNARLING)

107
00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:40,606
(WHIMPERS)

108
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,083
Your brother
is so hot.

109
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:45,730
Stop telling me that.

110
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:46,881
Oh, sorry, Lisa.

111
00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:50,851
Sink activate.
I love your dress.
Soap activate.

112
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,969
Bart tells me
you got into Yale.
Sink terminate.

113
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:57,961
Yeah, even though
McDonald's owns Yale now,
it's still a great school.

114
00:05:58,040 --> 00:05:59,769
And I could never
afford to go there

115
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:02,201
if I hadn't won
the Montgomery
Burns Scholarship.

116
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:04,123
Oh, yeah,
that's the thing
he had to do

117
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:05,964
as punishment for
stealing Christmas.

118
00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,520
Yeah. I miss Christmas.

119
00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:09,761
I don't.

120
00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:11,686
(ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING)

121
00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,920
So, any plans
after graduation?

122
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,001
<i>Travel.</i>

123
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,686
Do you need
a traveling companion,
perchance?

124
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:25,921
<i>Travel canceled.</i>

125
00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,569
Whoa! Look out!

126
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,610
Bart, are you sure
about this limo driver
you hired?

127
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,282
I can fly. I can fly.

128
00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,488
Just kidding,
I know I can't fly.

129
00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:44,005
I can glide, though.

130
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:45,161
Whoa!

131
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,245
(BOTH MOANING)

132
00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:00,011
Jenda, I think
we're ready to go
all the way,

133
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:01,650
but I'm
a little nervous.

134
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:03,563
Bart, don't be nervous.

135
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,404
Sex on prom
night is as American

136
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:08,006
as our 51st state,
Saudi lsraelia.

137
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,646
Jenda, that's not
what I meant.

138
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,564
I love you.
Will you marry me?

139
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:14,681
(GASPS)

140
00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:19,368
That's really sweet,
but marriage is
a three-year commitment.

141
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:23,041
I mean, do you even know
what you're gonna
do with your life?

142
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,645
I've got it
all figured out.

143
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,291
You can waitress
while I learn to cut meat.

144
00:07:27,360 --> 00:07:30,204
We'll live in a trailer,
but to avoid
paying for parking,

145
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:32,044
I'll drive
while you sleep.

146
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:33,645
We'll never,
ever stop.

147
00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:35,891
Bart, I hate
to say this,

148
00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:37,166
but I think
I outgrew you.

149
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:38,241
When?

150
00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:39,446
Just this minute.

151
00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:42,681
Mmm.

152
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,127
Okay, love birds,
break it up.

153
00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:49,285
Hey, this one's alone.
Ha! What a loser.

154
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:50,487
(SNIFFS)

155
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,644
Oh! Here, you want
some chicken?

156
00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,922
Just grab it with
your hands, go ahead.
We're not fancy here.

157
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:09,564
I'm tired of this.
I want to look at
a different future.

158
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,206
(BEEPING)

159
00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:22,921
Meh.

160
00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:26,647
So that's how
Jenda dumped me.

161
00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:30,725
Son, sometimes people
just grow apart,
like me and your mom.

162
00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,529
No, Mom dumped you
'cause you blew

163
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,602
all our money
on this underwater house.

164
00:08:36,440 --> 00:08:39,091
She'll realize
she was a fool when...

165
00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,561
Hey! Come back
with my patio furniture!

166
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:44,366
Stupid flounders.

167
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,363
Hey, I've got
a great idea.

168
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:48,488
We'll find some
new lady friends.

169
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,246
Come on, boy,
we're hitting the town.

170
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,362
After decompressing,
of course.

171
00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:58,329
(BEEPING)
(AIR HISSING)

172
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:05,169
So, what do you do
to kill time in here?

173
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:07,561
There's a DVD player,
but it doesn't work.

174
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:10,485
(CLAN KING)

175
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,090
Why'd you buy
the first hover car
ever made?

176
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,044
Didn't you know
it'd take time to
work out the kinks?

177
00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:21,209
Ha-ha!
I know!
It's a hover car!

178
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:33,690
All right!
You guys are my
new best friends.

179
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,529
You wish, loser! (GRUNTS)

180
00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:37,529
(CLANKING)
(HOMER LAUGHING)

181
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,690
(SCREECHING)

182
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,045
(CLANGING)

183
00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:58,650
Hey, Moe.
Hey, Moe clone.

184
00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:00,768
Oh. Hiya, Homer.
Hi, Homer.

185
00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,081
Hey,hey,hey!
I don't pay you
to socialize.

186
00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:05,083
Right. You're
the people person.

187
00:10:05,160 --> 00:10:07,162
Hey, watch it with
the attitude, mister.

188
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,765
You came from
my back fat!

189
00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:11,366
Boy, I think I see

190
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:13,966
my two favorite letters
of the alphabet,

191
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,804
E-Z.

192
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,286
(CHUCKLES)
(GLASS SHATTERS)

193
00:10:19,360 --> 00:10:22,648
You moron! (SIGHS)
Why did I ever think
I needed a clone?

194
00:10:22,720 --> 00:10:24,927
Hey, I'm not the clone,
you're the clone!

195
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:26,889
Oh, please, not this again.

196
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,571
(CHUCKLES)

197
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:31,887
Son, say hello
to Edna.

198
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:36,644
(GASPS) Dad, that's my
fourth grade teacher!

199
00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:38,485
(STUTTERS) Oopsie!

200
00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:42,247
Hi, Mrs. K.
This is sure weird, huh?

201
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,163
Want it to get weirder?

202
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:45,640
Uh... (CHUCKLES)

203
00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:47,449
I don't think so.

204
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,648
Good call, Bart.
We can both do better.

205
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,561
(SIGHS) lwish I could
talk to my fourth-grade
self just once.

206
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,484
I'd say, "Work hard,
don't be such a screw up.

207
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:59,643
<i>"This time is so precious.
Don't waste it."</i>

208
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,762
Bart, maybe
you should listen to this.

209
00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:04,845
Oh, now
I have to start over.

210
00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:07,766
('80S ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

211
00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:13,242
Is that robot
break-dancing?

212
00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:16,409
No. He activated
his self-destruct mechanism.

213
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,963
Love can really be painful.

214
00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,890
Tell me about it.
I broke up with Milhouse.

215
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:24,485
How'd he take it?
Um...

216
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:25,761
(SCREAMS)

217
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,526
What Lisa's problem?

218
00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:32,968
Milhouse mother say
Milhouse handsome!

219
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:34,761
(GRUNTS)

220
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:35,881
(YELLS)

221
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:40,326
(SIGHS) I guess
everyone in this family
is doomed to wind up alone.

222
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,368
Look, if you want Jenda
to take you back,

223
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,886
you should show
some initiative,
get a job.

224
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:48,089
A career? No problem.
I speak three languages.

225
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,128
Armpit noises
are not a language.

226
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:51,201
Oh, Yeah?

227
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:57,201
Look, my point is,
show Jenda you want
to be successful

228
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:58,765
and she might
take you back.

229
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:00,763
It's never
too late for love.

230
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,764
MARGE: Oh, l am so glad
you think so.

231
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:08,562
Kids, I want you
to know I've started
seeing someone.

232
00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,644
He's from Springfield.
I think you know him.

233
00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:15,207
Hey, hey!
Krusty the Clown
is dating your mom!

234
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:16,481
(GUFFAWING)

235
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,330
(BOTH SCREAM)

236
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,563
When Jenda hears about
my great new career,

237
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,768
she'll definitely
take me back.

238
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:33,323
You missed a spot!
(SPITS) Do it again!

239
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:34,646
Yes, Mr. Gheet.

240
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,927
I'm Anoop, you racist cracker!

241
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,001
(GROANS)

242
00:12:38,200 --> 00:12:41,124
Bart, I need you
to make a delivery
to an elderly shut-in.

243
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:45,364
And to get there,
you must go through
the forbidden zone.

244
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:49,167
Which one? Radioactive,
smallpox, eternal midnight?

245
00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:52,449
No, no. The one
with the uni-clams.

246
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,725
(ALL SQUEAKING)

247
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:04,880
(GASPS)

248
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:10,884
(MUTTERING)

249
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:13,971
Oh, I get it.

250
00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,122
You can't tip me,
because your hands
are tied.

251
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,646
My dad
pulls that scam
all the time.

252
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,485
Don't move, teenage Bart.

253
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:25,042
I've got you covered
with my phaser/cell phone.

254
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,566
(CHIMING)

255
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:30,811
Dude, this is totally
not the time to call me.

256
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,042
I don't know.
Some kind of pasta.

257
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,691
Look, just get me
what you're having,
all right?

258
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,091
Ew! Not that.

259
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:38,207
(GROANS)

260
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:41,090
What soups do they have...

261
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:47,328
Oh, blessed urchin.
How can I reward you?

262
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:48,681
Uh...

263
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,649
With the diamond?
No, sorry.

264
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:53,041
My diamonds
are going to be
retro-morphed into coal,

265
00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:54,770
the most valuable
substance on Earth.

266
00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:56,367
I know.

267
00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,324
I'll send you to Yale
with the Monty
Burns Scholarship.

268
00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:00,851
I can%take
your scholarship.

269
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,366
It's going to my sister.
It would break her heart.

270
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:05,727
Don't be so quick
to say no.

271
00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,370
The ladies love
an Ivy Leaguer.

272
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:08,566
They do?

273
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:09,847
Oh, yeah.

274
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:12,526
Once I home-invaded
this Princeton dude,

275
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,409
and he was, like,
totally married.

276
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:15,681
(GROANS)

277
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:18,843
VVell, l guess
an intensive four-year
bachelor of arts program

278
00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:20,610
is the easiest way
to get Jenda back.

279
00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:21,886
Hello, Smithers.

280
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,725
Nice of you to drop by
after my life was saved.

281
00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:26,444
Sir, you knew
I was on a date.

282
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:30,889
Mr. Smithers?
I thought you were,
you know...

283
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,610
Ha-ha. No, I'm straight.

284
00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,365
As long as I take
these injections
every 10 minutes.

285
00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,129
I love boobies!

286
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:39,846
It's so great that

287
00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,651
Yale has finally
forbidden men
from taking science.

288
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:47,248
Now let's see,
should I major in
Femistry or Galgebra?

289
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:49,846
Listen, Lise, I gotta
tell you something.

290
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:51,086
I'm going to Yale.

291
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:54,568
What? I don't want to go
to the same college
as you.

292
00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:57,086
Then I've got some
great news! You're not
going to Yale!

293
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:58,247
(SCREAMS)

294
00:14:58,320 --> 00:14:59,401
(BOTH SCREAM)

295
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:00,766
(SCREAMS)

296
00:15:01,440 --> 00:15:04,489
Hey, I didn't
do anything. Yet.

297
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,084
<i>You've wrecked my life!</i>

298
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,401
You're gonna
wreck my life!

299
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,887
Hey, Marge,
why are you with Krusty?

300
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,610
These kids
are too old
for clowns.

301
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:24,446
Actually, Homer,
I'm into your lady.

302
00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:27,524
Hey, man, she's not
my lady anymore.

303
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,489
We split up,
it's all cool. I...

304
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,369
<i>I'll kill you!</i>
(GAGGING)

305
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:35,283
Once they destroy
each other...

306
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:36,850
...then we make our move.

307
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,168
Yes, we make our move.

308
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:42,686
What? A spider got
into the cloning machine.

309
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:44,166
Attention, everyone.

310
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:47,449
Please welcome
our Valedictorian,
Lisa Simpson.

311
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:49,568
She will be
attending Yale.

312
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:52,808
(WHISPERING)
Listen, I'm not going to Yale
'cause of my brother.

313
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,724
I mean,
Hot Dog on a Stick
Management Camp.

314
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,486
That's odd.

315
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,809
You get into Yale,
and Lisa can't
go anymore?

316
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:03,882
Hey, what can I say?
I love learning.

317
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:05,121
Bartholomew Simpson.

318
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,201
What?

319
00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,203
Come and get your diploma.

320
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,084
Why don't you
mail it to your butt?

321
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:13,607
Bart, now that
you've graduated,
I can finally say this.

322
00:16:13,680 --> 00:16:15,887
You really press my cider.

323
00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:17,087
(ALL GASP)

324
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:19,925
(MUSIC PLAYING)

325
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:21,927
Yo, Bart,

326
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,168
good to see
you're back
with Jenda.

327
00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:26,561
Hey, Nelson.
What's up with
your girlfriends?

328
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,967
Oh, they each had twins.

329
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:31,650
Listen, girls,

330
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:34,491
I'm going out
for a pack
of cigarettes.

331
00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:37,848
Isn't that what
your father said
the day he left you?

332
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:42,005
Yeah. I never understood
why he did it, till now.

333
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,447
I'm coming, Papa!

334
00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,445
Ha-ha!

335
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:49,411
(SOBBING)

336
00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:53,522
Lisa had no right
to break up with me.

337
00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:57,924
I'm not the first guy
to get a nosebleed
during a slow dance.

338
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,605
I better go talk to him.

339
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,281
VVell, don't take
too long.

340
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:06,240
I think this might
be our special night.

341
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,682
Why did Lisa
dump me?

342
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,167
Is it because
of my small calves?

343
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:15,527
They're the hardest
place to add mass!

344
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:18,524
Cheer up, Milhouse.
You got your whole
life ahead of you.

345
00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:20,564
Oh, no!

346
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,803
Hey, I remember
when you were

347
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:25,848
a nerdy little fourth-grader.

348
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,571
And now
you're an emotionally
crippled mini-Hulk.

349
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,085
What girl
wouldn't want that?

350
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:31,924
Do you think
Lisa might see that,

351
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,286
now that she's got
nothing else?

352
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:34,407
I guess so.

353
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:38,280
Booyah! Time to strike
while the iron is sad!

354
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:44,280
All right.
Three hours
to blast my quads.

355
00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:48,646
Lisa. Lisa. Lisa.

356
00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:55,042
Bart, what's wrong?
You seem distracted.

357
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:57,851
Oh, I was just thinking
about Milhouse and Lisa.

358
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:00,491
Mmm-hmm. What are you
thinking about now?

359
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,847
Hey, that rundown
old house looks familiar.

360
00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:08,727
That's where Doc Frink
used to live.

361
00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:12,049
(SIGHS) I never had
this problem with
Todd Flanders.

362
00:18:19,160 --> 00:18:21,481
This machine lets us
look into the future.

363
00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:23,403
Wouldn't that
be romantic?

364
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,403
I'll tell you
what would
be romantic.

365
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,165
Making love for
the first time.

366
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:31,608
Totally. Right after
I fiddle with
these dials and levers.

367
00:18:31,680 --> 00:18:33,045
(BEEPING)

368
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:37,161
(GRUNTS)

369
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,288
You know,
I was thinking
of taking

370
00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:41,840
a poetry class
at the community college.

371
00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,046
Forget it.

372
00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:46,442
I had to sell
all my marrow
to pay the light bill.

373
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,127
I didn't have
much marrow.

374
00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,646
I can't let
that happen.
I gotta go.

375
00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:55,882
Listen, Bart, if you
leave me now,

376
00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:58,486
I can guarantee
one thing about
your future.

377
00:18:58,560 --> 00:18:59,891
I won't be in it.

378
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:04,805
Not going to Yale
isn't the end
of the world.

379
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:06,962
Yeah, I'm starting
to see that.

380
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,686
No, I mean,
you're screwed.

381
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,240
Your only hope
is to clutch at straws!

382
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:14,927
Straws who've
always loved you.

383
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,047
Really?

384
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,247
Really.

385
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:19,244
Can I kiss you?

386
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,921
Um, have you eaten
onions lately?

387
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,891
No. And it's really hard
'cause I'm on
an all-onion diet.

388
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:32,608
Uh... Well, okay.
I guess this is my destiny.

389
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:35,966
(SCREAMS)

390
00:19:36,120 --> 00:19:37,724
What are you doing?

391
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,643
Keeping Lisa from
destroying her life.

392
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,927
Come on,
let her destroy it.

393
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:48,170
(GRUNTS)Oh!

394
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,849
Lenny, Carl,
can you pull me out?

395
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,610
Sorry, we're ghosts now.

396
00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:56,842
Our spirits live
in those two trees.

397
00:19:56,920 --> 00:20:00,163
Or maybe we're alive
and we just feel
like jerking you around.

398
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:02,208
Or maybe
we're one of each.

399
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:03,281
(BOTH LAUGH)

400
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:04,481
(SIGHS)

401
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,927
Look, I'm not
taking the scholarship.

402
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,889
You're the one
who deserves
to go to Yale.

403
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,203
Aw! That's so noble.
But what about Jenda?

404
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:17,205
Hey, I'm waiting
till I find a girl
who likes me for me.

405
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:20,722
And you will
at the age of 83.

406
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:22,564
You die
one minute later.

407
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,722
And my brain
is put in a...

408
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:25,767
Pauper's grave.

409
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,490
Well, Bart,
I really appreciate

410
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:30,040
what you're
going to do for me.
Mmm.

411
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,481
But what happens
to our parents?

412
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:39,566
Marge, I thought
you'd never take me back
after what I did to Krusty.

413
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:41,642
You mean
get beaten up
by him?

414
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,000
Exactly.

415
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:47,085
And I'll admit,
it is kind of romantic
under the sea.

416
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,367
You don't know the half of it.

417
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,006
(CHUCKLES)

418
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:18,480
Oh, this sucks.
I want to see
Vice President Cletus.

419
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:23,248
You want me to attend
the funeral of
the Sultan of Brunei?

420
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:26,608
Well, I would
consider it my honor.

421
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:33,007
Hey, Brandine,
pack my evening britches.
We's going to Brunei.

422
00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:52,281
(SHUSHING)

