1
00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:05,089
(SINGING) The Simpsons
2
00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,164
(TIRES SCREECHING)
3
00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:10,601
D'oh!
4
00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,961
(SCREAMS)
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
5
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:18,921
MAN: Whoo-hoo!
6
00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:43,691
(GULPING)
7
00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:46,325
Hey, hey, hey!
No enjoying it!
8
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,041
Kent Brockman here
with Stormwatch 6.
9
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:52,045
Professor Frink,
what's the scientific
explanation for this
10
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,361
unusually severe
thunderstorm?
11
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:58,570
Well, Kent, we are, uh,
exploring two theories
at this point.
12
00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:03,407
Um, A, either we have
a super cell of
high-pressure fronts,
13
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,927
or B, God is bowling!
14
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,606
With the balls
and the pins and
the rental shoes
15
00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:13,685
and the very
bad cheese pizza
that comes in squares.
16
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:17,925
(CHUCKLING) Krusty, what's
your lighthearted take on
our recent bad weather?
17
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:22,085
Sorry, Kent. I sold
all my bad weatherjokes
to Jay Mohr.
18
00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:24,527
But I can make
funny sounds
in your microphone.
19
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,443
Fine.
(BLABBERING)
20
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:29,929
A-ooga! (LAUGHS)
21
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,001
There you have it.
22
00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:39,480
(SPUTTERING)
23
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:41,806
(GASPS)
24
00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,087
Homer, do something
about this leak.
25
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:47,730
Don't worry, Marge.
Hot Wheels to the rescue!
26
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,010
Water flows down here,
through the straightaway,
27
00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:52,889
a couple of wicked S-turns,
28
00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,605
around the loop of death,
29
00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:58,082
and out the mail slot.
Then it's the yard's problem.
30
00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,525
LISA: My hamster!
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00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,006
(PANTING)
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00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:07,607
(SQUEAKING)
33
00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:09,165
(SCREAMING)
34
00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,609
You know, Homer,
I let a lot of things slide.
35
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:18,286
But when you can't keep a roof
over your family's head,
36
00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:20,044
you're just not
much of a father.
37
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:23,763
I was gonna have
my classmates over
for a homework party.
38
00:02:23,960 --> 00:02:26,042
But now
my refreshments
are ruined.
39
00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,770
Goodbye, college!
40
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,606
He was supposed to be
41
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:33,251
in a show-and-tell this week!
(SNEEZES)
42
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:34,925
That's not gonna happen.
43
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:44,808
That teddy bear
survived three safety recalls,
44
00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:46,211
but it couldn't
survive you!
45
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:49,569
Oh, that's it!
I'm going to Moe's!
46
00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:51,051
Aw! It's raining outside!
47
00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,929
It's raining inside!
48
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:55,571
(MEWLING)
49
00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:58,930
Lousy cat!
(SLAMS)
50
00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:03,204
Stupid Homer-hating family.
51
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,442
At least there's one place
I'm always welcome.
52
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,921
MEN: (SINGING) For he's
a jolly good fellow...
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00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,171
Oh, guys.
This is just
what I needed.
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00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:12,810
This ain't for you,
sweat stain.
55
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:15,764
It's a surprise party
for Lenny thrown by
his closest friends.
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00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,684
So what's Stephen Hawking
doing here?
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00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,365
(ON VOICE SYNTHESIZER)
I live here now.
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00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:21,204
You're looking
at the new owner
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00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,567
of the Little Caesars
down the street.
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00:03:23,680 --> 00:03:28,242
Pizza, pizza. Pizza, pizza.
Pizza, pizza. Pizza, pizza.
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00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,209
Sorry, that button sticks.
62
00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:31,931
So why didn't you
invite me?
63
00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:34,606
We couldn't tell you
ahead of time because
you'd spill the beans.
64
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,888
I wouldn't ruin
a surprise for Lenny.
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00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:38,963
Surprise? What surprise?
66
00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,044
(BLOWING HORNS)
(ALL GROAN)
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00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:42,645
Way to go, Homer.
68
00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:45,525
Ugh! That's six years
planning down the drain!
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00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:47,688
I'm sorry.
I'll just sit
over here
70
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,330
until you stop
being mad at me.
71
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,407
Oh, great, Homer!
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00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:54,086
I bake a cake
shaped like Lenny's
favorite barstool,
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00:03:54,160 --> 00:03:55,161
and you wreck it!
74
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:03,367
Well, I can see
I'm not wanted here.
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00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,167
Wait, Homer.
Don't go.
76
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:10,561
Okay, beat it!
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00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,404
Who wants
ass frosting?
78
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,205
No, thanks.
I'm on Atkins.
79
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:16,966
My family hates me.
80
00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:19,566
My stupid friends
kick me out
of their stupid party.
81
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:24,284
They'll all be sorry
when I invent
the world's best-tasting cola
82
00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:25,850
And share it with no one!
83
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:27,531
(CHUCKLES)
84
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,202
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
85
00:04:33,080 --> 00:04:35,526
Oh, man.
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00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,042
(GASPS) A sign!
87
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:54,209
Finally, a bar for men
who like to drink and
look at sexy women.
88
00:04:56,640 --> 00:04:58,210
Welcome to Knockers, hon.
89
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:00,726
Let me know if you
see anything you like.
90
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,409
Read the sign, prevert!
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00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:06,846
HOMER: D'oh!
92
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,161
Hmm.
93
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,766
I'd like a beer and
a sympathetic ear.
94
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,241
I got my own problems.
95
00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:13,850
I just lost
this eye last night.
96
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,209
How did it
ever come to this?
97
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,760
I'm the first man ever
to feel depressed in a bar.
98
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,048
I don't have a friend
in the world.
99
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,202
Look at the size
of that nacho plate!
100
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,324
I haven't seen
this much melted cheese
101
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:28,448
since I left
my Billy Joel albums
out in the sun.
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00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,131
(LAUGHING)
103
00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:33,601
The sun.
104
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,001
Hey, you want to split this?
105
00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,686
Wow. It's been
so long since
I've been with someone
106
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,604
who doesn't know
what a selfish pig I am.
107
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Mine. Move your hand.
108
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I get this.
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Hey, my name's Ray.
Ray Magini.
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Ray, you know me
better than anyone.
111
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,048
How can I
get my wife
to love me again?
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00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:56,208
Beats me.
I'm no marriage counselor.
113
00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:58,760
Just a licensed
and bonded roofer.
114
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,927
(GASPS) Ray,
will you help me
fix my roof?
115
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,047
Sure, I'll help you.
116
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Under one condition.
117
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:09,044
You gotta help me finish
this pitcher of beer.
118
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,085
Wait. Did I add
that right?
119
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,411
Now for my first act
as President...
120
00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:25,441
(GRUNTS)
(SHATTERING)
121
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,250
(LAUGHING MANIACALLY)
122
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:33,289
Deal! To my new buddy!
123
00:06:34,840 --> 00:06:37,127
Now all we need
is an awesome theme song.
124
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,646
Whatever plays
next on the jukebox.
125
00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,081
Deal.
126
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:44,530
WOMAN: (SINGING)
Do that to me one more time
127
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,526
Once is never enough
with a man like you
128
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:49,210
Next song.
Uh,yeah,
that's what I meant.
129
00:06:49,280 --> 00:06:50,486
Yeah, absolutely.
130
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:56,325
(HOMER SNORING)
131
00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,329
Homer! I woke up
to find an owl
eating a mouse
132
00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:01,885
on the pillow
next to me.
133
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:03,883
I think that means
six more weeks
of autumn.
134
00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:05,844
It means you have
to fix the roof.
135
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,446
Don't worry, honey.
I found us a roofer
last night.
136
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:10,124
And you'll
never guess where.
137
00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,248
Knockers on Route 98.
138
00:07:12,480 --> 00:07:13,481
How did you know?
139
00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,085
I'm psychic.
140
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,970
Look, I don't know
if I want a roofer
who hangs out in bars.
141
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:19,725
(SCOFFS) You're right, Marge.
142
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,643
I guess I should
look for roofers
143
00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:24,530
at poetry slams
and yoga retreats.
144
00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:26,090
High five!
Nah.
145
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:28,686
I got standards.
I don't hand out
high-fives like Chiclets.
146
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:30,644
Ray would
high five me.
147
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,081
Well, he'd better
high five our roof! Huh?
148
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:34,650
Yay, Mom!
149
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:35,721
Zing!
D'oh!
150
00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:38,929
Come on, kids.
We're gonna
visit Grampa.
151
00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:42,489
Then we're gonna
take the dog
to the V-E-T.
152
00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:43,561
Huh?
153
00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:47,884
Then take Bart
to get C-I-R-C-U-M-C-I-S-E-D.
154
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:49,121
Huh?
155
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,688
Uh, I'll tell you what
it means when it's over.
156
00:07:57,840 --> 00:07:59,683
Hey, Homer.
Oh, Ray.
157
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,967
You came at
the agreed-upon time!
158
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,560
That's what I like
about you, Homer.
Everything impresses you.
159
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,570
"Impresses,"
what a big word.
160
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:08,801
I'm gonna
look that up.
161
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:13,121
Ah... This is gonna take
some work.
162
00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:15,926
Tell me, was the roof
in good condition
when you bought the house?
163
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,806
I didn't really check.
I mainly bought this
house for the view.
164
00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,130
Someday that bowl
will overflow,
and I'll be there.
165
00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:27,521
Okay, kids.
166
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:30,490
We only have time
for a quick visit
to Grampa.
167
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:34,087
So as soon
as he feels loved,
we're out of there.
168
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,440
(BARKING)
169
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,568
Oh, he must smell leftovers.
170
00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:41,206
Please. We call them
senior citizens.
171
00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:43,649
Oh, look!
(ALL COOING)
172
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:48,971
A dog? What a nice surprise.
I'm gonna pet you raw!
173
00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:51,361
(GRUNTS AFFECTIONATELY)
174
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,010
(ALL CHEERING)
175
00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:55,969
Can we keep
your dog, please?
176
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,690
Keep my dog?
Till when?
177
00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,683
Not too long.
Just till we die.
178
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:01,841
(CHUCKLES)
179
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:03,651
(LAUGHING)
180
00:09:06,040 --> 00:09:07,883
Well, he does
seem happy here.
181
00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:11,010
Also, gerontological studies
have demonstrated that
182
00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,367
animal companions can slow
the inevitable decline of...
183
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:14,441
Yeah, okay, thank you.
184
00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:16,761
Why don't you go
find a parade
and rain on it?
185
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:18,481
(THUDDING)
186
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,405
(YAWNS)
187
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:23,481
Huh?
188
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:24,641
(GROANS)
189
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,000
Oh! Sorry about that, pal.
190
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:27,964
Hey, no problem.
Accidents happen.
191
00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:29,041
(GRUNTS)
192
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,167
(GROANS)
193
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:35,402
One, two, three, four!
I declare a nail war!
194
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:37,321
This is why
I got into roofing!
195
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,444
(BOTH LAUGHING)
196
00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:43,321
NED: Hey, Homer!
197
00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:45,607
Ned, are you okay?
198
00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:48,002
Yeah. But my mower
can't get much lower.
199
00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:49,206
(AIR HISSING)
200
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:51,169
I was wrong! (WHIMPERS)
(DOOR SLAMS)
201
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,885
(BOTH LAUGHING)
202
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:57,882
Ah, that's Ned Flanders.
(CHUCKLES)
203
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,207
There's one
in every neighborhood.
(PAGER BEEPING)
204
00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:03,126
Oh, sorry, man. I gotta go.
205
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,487
This says my kid
attempted something.
206
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:07,050
I hate the way
these things cut off.
207
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:13,924
Goodbye, Ray! Bye!
208
00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:17,609
Oh, he turned a corner.
209
00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:18,721
Ooh! Now I see him again!
210
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,209
(CRASHING)
(SCREAMS)
211
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:22,805
(SNORING)
212
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,245
Homer!
Huh? Huh?
213
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,522
You're drooling on
my Goodwill pile!
214
00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:32,120
(GRUNTS)
215
00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:35,040
And why is the hole
in the roof even bigger?
216
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:37,244
Don't worry.
Ray'll be back
any minute.
217
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,643
It's after 6:00!
He's not coming back!
218
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,449
He's a lousy roofer
and a flake!
219
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:44,404
Hey, watch
what you say
about him!
220
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:45,606
I think Ray
could be the one.
221
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:46,761
The one what?
222
00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:48,604
My new best friend!
223
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,364
We think alike,
we act alike,
224
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,124
we finish
each other's sandwiches.
225
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,322
I don't want to hear
any more about Ray!
226
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,961
Tomorrow morning
you buy some shingles
and fix that roof yourself!
227
00:10:58,040 --> 00:10:59,041
Ray's not gonna
like that.
228
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,326
You're not married
to Ray!
229
00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:02,767
Well, if I was,
we'd have taller kids!
230
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:07,886
I'm sure everyone's happier
231
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:09,928
with Santa's Little
Helper here to love them.
232
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,447
Yeah. I bet the old people
will be acting
like young people,
233
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:15,841
like in those
cell phone ads
everyone hates.
234
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:22,765
(BARKS WEAKLY)
235
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:24,966
(GASPS)
236
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,650
He's become one of them!
237
00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,327
Hey, boy.
Want a treat?
238
00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:30,721
(GRUNTS)
239
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:33,281
Better get you home.
Come on, Lisa.
240
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:35,966
Right after Pat Sajak.
241
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,043
Oh! Jeez, Louise!
242
00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:40,365
(BOTH WHINING)
243
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,280
You know, it's too bad.
244
00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,761
We've had that dog
as long as I can remember.
245
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,882
What dog?
Who the hell
are you?
246
00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:49,450
I wish I knew.
247
00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:55,243
You know, son, my dad
used to take me down
to Johnson's Hardware.
248
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:59,365
Old man Johnson
knew everything
about fixing stuff.
249
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:02,364
When they built this place,
he hung himself.
250
00:12:05,520 --> 00:12:06,885
(STRAINING)
251
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,969
Oh, sorry, son.
I wanted you
to bring me
252
00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,242
the stack of tiles
from the top shelf.
253
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:13,243
Hey, Ray's here!
254
00:12:14,920 --> 00:12:18,083
Hey, Homer!
Look, I just came down
with a case of shingles.
255
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:19,400
(LAUGHING)
256
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:21,641
What's in the box?
257
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:24,081
Hey, I'm real sorry
I never made it
back yesterday.
258
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,161
I hope
we're still friends.
259
00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:27,766
Of course we are. Uh...
260
00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,729
If you want to be?
261
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,241
Well, I want to be,
if you want to be.
262
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:37,842
I'll tell you what,
let me get a few
more supplies,
263
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:39,729
and I'll come
flght over and
I'll finish your roof!
264
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,411
Hey, Dad.
Remember when you said
265
00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:44,925
if l used
a chainsaw unsupervised,
266
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,001
I'd hurt myself?
267
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,846
Well, you were wrong.
I hurt someone else.
268
00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:53,324
Oh! I have 45 minutes
to get ready for the prom!
269
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:57,445
What are you doing?
Why aren't you
fixing the roof?
270
00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,046
I don't have to.
Ray's gonna be
here any minute.
271
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:04,809
(GRUNTS) I am so sick of
hearing about that
stupid, unreliable Ray,
272
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,803
who, by the way,
I have never even met!
273
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:08,485
All right.
Then you can just look
274
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,204
at the portrait
I painted of him.
275
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:15,887
Homer, how did you think
I'd feel when I saw that?
276
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:17,127
Something like that.
277
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,484
Uh! Uh! Oh...
278
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,003
Oh! Uh! Oh...
279
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,561
Oh! Oh...
280
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:31,127
Homer, come down
for dinner.
281
00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:32,481
Did you make
enough for Ray?
282
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,244
Oh! Ray's not coming!
283
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:35,401
He is, too!
284
00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:40,725
His truck's gonna
come around the corner
right now.
285
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,690
Right now! Right now! Now!
286
00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,366
Now!
287
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,771
(MUTTERS)
288
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,286
Now!
289
00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:53,451
(SHIVERING)
290
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:57,091
(SHAKILY) Now. Now.
291
00:13:58,920 --> 00:13:59,921
Now.
292
00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,760
Homer, I know
where Ray is.
293
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:05,928
Oh, thank God.
Where is he? Tell me!
294
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:09,607
Sweetheart, your friend,
Ray is in your head.
295
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:12,524
Ray wouldn't fit in my head.
He's a human man.
296
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:14,040
(SIGHS)
297
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,929
You have to understand.
298
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,527
Ray doesn't exist.
299
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,331
Yes, he does.
He's on his way.
300
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:25,085
And when he gets here,
we'll have ever so much fun.
301
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,446
You'll see. (LAUGHING)
302
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,406
We'll laugh! (SCREAMS)
303
00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:32,926
(LAUGHING)
304
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:34,647
(GROANS)
305
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:35,881
(GASPS) Homer!
306
00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:37,531
(LAUGHING WEAKLY)
307
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,401
(GASPS)
308
00:14:52,480 --> 00:14:55,563
What? What's going on?
Where are my shoes?
309
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:56,801
(STRAINING)
310
00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:58,561
(CHUCKLES)
311
00:14:58,640 --> 00:14:59,801
Struggle all you want, Homer.
312
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,929
There's nothing
you can do.
313
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,001
(HOCKS AND SPITS)
314
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,170
Why... Excuse us
for a moment.
315
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:08,931
(GROANS)
316
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,731
What am I
doing here?
Let me go!
317
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:16,567
We'll let you go
when you admit
there is no Ray Magini.
318
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:17,801
Fine, I admit it.
319
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,928
Help me, Ray! Appear
and strike them down!
320
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:22,930
Homer, no one
has ever seen
Ray but you.
321
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,083
But that's not true.
Bart saw him at
the Builder's Barn.
322
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,129
No, l didn't, Dad.
323
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,531
I saw you
talking to yourself.
324
00:15:32,360 --> 00:15:34,601
Flanders, you saw Ray
on the roof with me!
325
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,606
Sorry, Homer.
You'll have to
call me a "Ray-theist"
326
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,682
because I don't
believe I saw him.
327
00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:41,645
Ned, are you okay?
328
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,367
There has to be
someone who saw him.
329
00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:46,965
Someone who doesn't hate me,
330
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:49,202
like Flanders
and Bart. (GASPS)
331
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,931
Wait! The bartender
at Knockers!
332
00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,481
I called that bosom bar.
333
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:56,847
The bartender said
you were there alone.
334
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,401
Ray's a figment
of your imagination, Homer.
335
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,363
You felt lonely
and unappreciated,
336
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:02,925
so you made him up.
337
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,081
And here's the clincher.
338
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,731
"Ray Magini" is
an anagram for "imaginary."
339
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:11,569
Wow. My subconscious
is a genius.
340
00:16:11,640 --> 00:16:14,166
Well, that's all
very convincing and...
341
00:16:14,560 --> 00:16:15,971
(THUDDING)
342
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:21,481
(BLABBERS)
343
00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:22,766
He's right over there!
344
00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:24,842
Hey, come on!
Can't anybody see him?
345
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,445
(BLABBERING)
346
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:28,568
You can only see
from my point of view.
347
00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:31,606
I'm afraid this
calls for electroshock.
348
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:33,569
(GASPS) Electroshock?
349
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,684
Actually, the technical term
is electroconvulsive therapy.
350
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,764
Well, that's a world
of difference.
Light me up, Doc!
351
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:41,922
When you're getting juiced,
can you hold my turtle?
352
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,411
I want to bring
him back to life.
353
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:45,409
Aw... What did he die of?
354
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:47,130
I don't know.
He was dead
when I found him.
355
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,927
(WHIMPERING)
356
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,408
Homer, that's just
to bite on,
not to eat.
357
00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,127
Sorry. Give me one that
doesn't taste so good.
358
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:02,043
That was rubber
covered in Vaseline!
359
00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:04,202
Marge, write that down
so we can have it at home.
360
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,089
We can't begin
his treatment
soon enough.
361
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:07,520
(MACHINE WHIRS)
(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
362
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:08,886
(SCREAMS)
363
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:13,963
(HISSING)
(BLABBERING)
364
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,445
How you feeling, sweetie?
365
00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:17,767
Much better.
366
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,571
Do you see anyone here
who isn't here?
367
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,802
Nope. Just you,
Marge, and Yogi Bear.
368
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:24,810
(CHUCKLES) Kidding!
369
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,209
(CHUCKLES)
Well, I see your sense
of humor's not affected.
370
00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,486
That's a very bad sign.
(WHIRS)
371
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,127
(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
(SCREAMS)
372
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:39,926
Real.
373
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,240
Not real.
374
00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,209
Real. Real.
375
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,086
Oh, sorry, Homer.
But recent historical evidence
376
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:49,130
indicates that Robin Hood
did not actually exist.
377
00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:51,568
(ELECTRICAL CRACKLING)
(SCREAMS)
378
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:53,005
Fascinating.
379
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,928
You kids can relax.
Your father is fine now.
380
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,081
Fine and dandy?
381
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:03,481
Well, his dandiness
will slowly return with time.
382
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,285
BOTH: Dad!
383
00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:09,688
Oh, kids,
I heart you, too.
384
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,651
Man, I'm glad to be off
that electroshock table.
385
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,690
Although, to be honest,
I did enjoy lying down.
386
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:17,967
Hello, Homer.
387
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:20,202
(GASPS) It's Ray!
I see him again!
388
00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,442
Monster, you don't exist!
389
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,247
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS)
390
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:28,211
Hey, no one calls me
a monster and questions
my existence!
391
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,401
(GROANS)
392
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:32,611
The awesome power
of the human mind.
393
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:33,681
(GROANS)
394
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,290
I see Ray, too.
395
00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:37,010
So do I.
Uh-oh.
396
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:38,161
Well, I'm not worried.
397
00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:40,447
You've already agreed
not to sue me
for anything.
398
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,010
When did I
agree to that?
399
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:43,923
You did
when I validated
your parking.
400
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,002
You didn't validate
my parking.
401
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,241
Check and mate.
402
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:48,766
(CHUCKLES)
403
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:51,609
So Ray does exist?
404
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:52,647
That's right.
405
00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,610
Now let's explore
the improbable
series of events
406
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:58,047
that led to this amusing
yet tragic farce.
407
00:18:58,240 --> 00:18:59,969
On account of my eye patch,
408
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,361
I couldn't see Ray
sitting at the bar.
409
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:06,560
All I saw was
you eating and drinking
and talking to yourself.
410
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,644
And, Ned,
you didn't see me
411
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,370
because I was hiding
behind the chimney.
412
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,642
(CHUCKLES)
Gee, I thought
my vision was perfect,
413
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:14,927
and here I was
worshipping false eyeballs.
414
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,001
Wait, wait,
wait, wait.
415
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:19,562
How come at
Builder's Barn, I saw Homer
talking to thin air.
416
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,483
Well, that... Hmm.
417
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,085
HAWKING: I can answer that.
418
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:27,322
I've been tracking a tear
in the fabric of space-time,
419
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:31,450
which combined with airborne
pieces of metal
at Builder's Barn
420
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,966
to create
a miniature black hole.
421
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:38,011
This anomaly interposed itself
between Homer and Bart
422
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,526
causing a gravitational lens,
423
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:44,525
which absorbed the light
reflected from Ray the roofer.
424
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,442
That seems feasible.
425
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,125
(ALL CHEERING)
426
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,445
Wait. There's still
one last thing that
doesn't make sense.
427
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:59,122
Why did you start
fixing our roof and
then just disappear?
428
00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:01,328
That's easy.
I'm a contractor.
429
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:02,845
(ALL LAUGHING)
430
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,125
That's right.
You're all crooks.
431
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:08,561
(ALL LAUGHING)
432
00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:12,761
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
we're all crooks.
It's true.
433
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:13,921
(LAUGHS)
434
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,001
Hey, wait a minute!
435
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:17,083
I went through a lot
of pain and suffering
436
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,049
because of this
"little misunderstanding."
437
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:20,326
Somebody owes me big.
438
00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,767
Well, Homer,
I could make it
up to you.
439
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,330
Maybe a free
eye-scraping.
440
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,880
That's a given.
There's something else.
441
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:30,210
Something much more else.
442
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,211
Homer, can I
please knock off?
443
00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,725
I've got surgery
in the morning.
444
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,888
Not if those gutters
aren't clean, you don't.
445
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:40,526
(MUTTERS)
446
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:42,561
So as I was
saying, Homer,
447
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,041
Mondays, 9:00, CBS.
448
00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:47,600
They say everybody
loves that guy,
but I don't get it.
449
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:48,920
What are you
talking about?
450
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:52,049
Hey, I'm just saying,
catch it while
you still can.
451
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,690
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
452
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,491
HAWKING: Badda-bing,
badda-boom.
And we're done.