1
00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:05,083
<i>(SINGING) The Simpsons</i>

2
00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:19,083
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

3
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:25,410
(HORN BELLOWING)

4
00:00:30,040 --> 00:00:31,041
(BEEPS)

5
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:39,202
(PLAYING DIFFERENT TUNE)

6
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:47,241
(TIRES SCREECHING)

7
00:00:58,960 --> 00:00:59,961
(HONKING)

8
00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:05,401
D'oh!

9
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:07,881
(EXCLAIMING)
(BRAKES SCREECHING)

10
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:10,721
(ALL GASP)

11
00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:12,251
(ALL SCREAM)

12
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:26,011
ANNOUNCER: <i>You're listening to
Nationwide Public Radio.</i>

13
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,366
<i>It's now 2:00.</i>

14
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:30,723
<i>Time for Verbal Tea,
with Amy Levine-Gonzalez.</i>

15
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:36,203
Oh, boy! This is what
sunny Sunday
afternoons are for.

16
00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:42,207
WOMAN: <i>Today,
we'll discuss a dying form
of Peruvian banjo music,</i>

17
00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:45,363
with Dartmouth banjologist,
Stefan Whitmore.

18
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:46,680
(PLAYING)

19
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,967
It's just...
It's not that good.

20
00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:52,280
In our second hour,

21
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:55,125
<i>humorist David Sedaris
takes a wry look</i>

22
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,931
<i>at overcrowding
in America's prisons.</i>

23
00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,126
Prison overcrowding?

24
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,725
I've got
a solution for that.

25
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,609
(MIMICKING MACHINE GUN)
(SCREAMS)

26
00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:03,681
Oh, my God!

27
00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:05,091
(MIMICS AMBULANCE SIREN)

28
00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:06,969
U-S-A! U-S-A!

29
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:11,009
<i>But, first, we're giving
away tickets
to the latest film</i>

30
00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:14,402
<i>by acclaimed
director Mladzieul Klernt.</i>

31
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,847
(GASPS) Her films
are so lyrical.

32
00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:18,649
The phone lines
are gonna be jammed.

33
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:24,244
Winner of the Romanian
Film Festival's prestigious
Golden Bucket...

34
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:26,243
Holy crap!
Someone's actually calling!

35
00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,091
(MEOWING)

36
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:30,247
(HUMMING)

37
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,007
Hmm.

38
00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,846
Hey! I won four
free movie tickets and
it starts in half an hour!

39
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,365
Free movie tickets?

40
00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,489
I feel like Roger Ebert
or his kiss-ass new partner.

41
00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,642
But we don't have
a sitter for Maggie.

42
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:48,645
She'll be fine here
under the watchful eye
of Grandma <i>Shark Week.</i>

43
00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:50,200
(ROARS)

44
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,730
A TV shark
is not a babysitter.

45
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:55,886
HOMER: How about this guy?
Ha!

46
00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,007
Homer!

47
00:02:57,520 --> 00:02:58,646
(NED HUMMING)

48
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:03,530
Howdy, Homer.
You here for a viewing
of my shampooing?

49
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,648
Shut up, Flanders.
I need a favor.

50
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:08,405
Would you mind watching
Maggie for a while?
It would only be until later.

51
00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,529
Sorry, but I promised
to rewind videotapes
for the poor.

52
00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,967
Come on, Flanders.
Doesn't that Bible
of yours

53
00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:15,530
say to love
thy neighbor?

54
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,682
Why won't you love me?

55
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:19,882
All right, neighbor.
l'll babysit.

56
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,121
Thanks, Ned.

57
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,049
You wear a bathing
suit in the bathtub?

58
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,361
Yeah, so I can't see
my own shrinky-dink.

59
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,371
Makes sense.

60
00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:30,290
(AIR WHOOSHING)

61
00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:45,007
Instead of video games,
they have weird,
free newspapers.

62
00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:47,566
Hmm.

63
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:49,642
Mom, am I "butch" or a "fem"?

64
00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,326
Honey, you can be
anything you wanna be.

65
00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:53,761
Ha!

66
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:57,884
This theater sucks.
My seat's uncomfortable.

67
00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,769
The screen's only
half a screen,

68
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,365
And that guy's
eating an apple.

69
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,408
Would you care
for a segment?

70
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:04,481
Yes.

71
00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:08,205
(MUSIC PLAYING)

72
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,567
(SPEAKING ALBANIAN)

73
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,763
What language is this?
Gibby-Gabby?

74
00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:30,444
It's Albanian,

75
00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,524
but the producers
added subtitles
to make it commercial.

76
00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:37,650
Mom, I don't wanna read.
It's the weekend. (GROANS)

77
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:40,200
I've had enough.
I'm leaving. (GRUNTS)
(SQUEAKING)

78
00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:44,720
Oh, I'm stuck!
Why did I eat
that apple segment?

79
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,161
Oh, oh, oh.

80
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:56,244
Sorry, Maggie.
That's something
to collect, not enjoy.

81
00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,084
It's one of my
Humble Figurines.

82
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,323
He scampered out
of Parade Magazine
and into my knickknack nook,

83
00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:03,687
and, well, his little
buddies soon followed.

84
00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:15,806
You like them, huh?
Come on, I'll show
you the other 300.

85
00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:16,927
(GASPS)

86
00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:19,011
How could this have...

87
00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:22,085
Oh. (SIGHS)

88
00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,965
I feel so much empathy
for those villagers.

89
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,481
They had to drink
their own tears.

90
00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,130
I was so bored,
I cut the ponytail

91
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,611
Off the guy
sitting in front of us.

92
00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,524
"Look at me.
I'm a grad student.
I'm 30 years old,

93
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:36,682
"and I made
$600 last year."

94
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,001
Bart, don't make fun
of grad students.

95
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:41,560
They just made
a terrible life choice.

96
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:45,406
Judas-bear,
you're not touching
your Last Supper.

97
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,529
I can't eat because
my conscience is heavy.

98
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:51,444
Boys, enough of
your shenanigans.
It's bedtime.

99
00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:53,610
BOTH: Mmm!
Ned, let me
give you

100
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,125
a little something
for babysitting.

101
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:57,045
I can't take money
from a neighbor.

102
00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:59,726
Although business
at the Leftorium's
been pretty slow

103
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,882
since that big chain
store came to town.

104
00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:04,361
(SIGHS)

105
00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,050
You've got
a big house, Ned.

106
00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:08,360
If you need
extra money,

107
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,010
why don't you
rent out a room?

108
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:13,129
Well, it might be
fun to be a landlord...
Land fella.

109
00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,929
There's only one Lord.

110
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,121
I need a place
to crash

111
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:20,201
while my mom's
drying out.

112
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,725
Well, I'd love
to help you out,

113
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:23,928
but you do have
to be over 18.

114
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,968
I am. Check out my ID.

115
00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,563
Wait, this is my license.

116
00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:29,971
No, it's not,
you hump.

117
00:06:30,480 --> 00:06:31,766
(RAVING)

118
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:35,325
Well, I do appreciate

119
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:36,640
that you've got
a cashier's check.

120
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,131
Now, do you
have any pets?

121
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:39,606
(RAVING)

122
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:40,920
(GASPS)

123
00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:46,086
I am Katja and
this is Vicki.

124
00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:49,050
We make much study
at community college.

125
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:50,770
We're, like, here
about the room.

126
00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:51,841
We moved out
of our dorm

127
00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:53,684
Because it was,
like, co-ed.

128
00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:57,881
Sometimes we saw (GASPS)
the boys in their robes.

129
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:01,851
You poor thing.
Now, I've heard
about those robes.

130
00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:03,251
Flapping everywhere.

131
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:06,045
Girls, welcome
to your very own
Ned and Breakfast.

132
00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,122
Silly talk means "yes"?

133
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,411
(BOTH GIGGLE)

134
00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:16,566
Here's your room, ladies.

135
00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:19,689
You can catch
some z's while
you earn those degrees.

136
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,560
You rhyme like
Snoopy-Dogg.

137
00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:25,483
Well, thank you.

138
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:40,247
I know what
we can ask Jeeves.
Why does he suck?

139
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:42,163
Hey! A banner ad!

140
00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,049
Sexyslumberparty.com?

141
00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,720
It's flashing.
We better click it.

142
00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:49,087
(BOTH GIGGLING)

143
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:56,523
<i>Katja, do you think
anyone's watching?</i>

144
00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:57,761
<i>If they are,</i>

145
00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:01,367
<i>they will see us
explore our sexhood
without restraint.</i>

146
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,125
Hey, this is one of
those dirty websites.

147
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,885
Two girls?
Who would want that?

148
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,482
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
(BOTH GASP)

149
00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,209
<i>You may
inside come.</i>

150
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:18,489
<i>I got phi beta cappuccinos
for Ned's pre-meds.</i>

151
00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,204
BOTH: Flanders?

152
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:21,441
<i>That's odd.</i>

153
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,331
I could've sworn
I just heard someone
shriek my name.

154
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:25,441
BART: You heard nothing!

155
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:26,681
<i>That's better.</i>

156
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,410
(GIRLS GIGGLING)

157
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,001
(LAUGHS)

158
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:36,004
<i>Spank me again with
little boy's picture.</i>

159
00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,770
(BOTH LAUGHING)

160
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:41,650
What are you kids
laughing at?

161
00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,563
And if you say
Jimmy Fallon,

162
00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,165
I'll know you're lying.

163
00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:47,642
(GASPS) Scantily clad co-eds?

164
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:50,521
Why, you little... (GRUNTS)
(GAGS)

165
00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:52,171
To have
a libido...

166
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,129
Dad, look
who's in there.

167
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,486
(GASPS) Flanders?

168
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,161
(GURGLING)

169
00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:00,447
He doesn't
even know
what's going on!

170
00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,562
Wait'll I tell
everyone about this.

171
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,041
I'll feel important
without drinking.

172
00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:07,724
That'll be weird.

173
00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:09,770
HOMER: What a combination.

174
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:12,366
Hot chicks and
stupid Flanders.

175
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:13,721
(BOTH GIGGLING)

176
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:17,245
And you say
Mr. Flanders remains
completely ignorant

177
00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:19,402
of their
dot-Kama-sutra?

178
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,083
Yup, and nobody's
telling him.

179
00:09:22,160 --> 00:09:24,288
Not even
his good buddy, God!

180
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:28,490
Boy, nothing is sexier
than still photos
in a girlie magazine.

181
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:29,801
Whoa!

182
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,251
Sensual, isn't it?

183
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:33,401
And the best part is,

184
00:09:33,480 --> 00:09:35,244
Stupid Flanders
doesn't even know

185
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,448
it's happening
in his stupid house.

186
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,490
Hence my nickname,
Stupid Flanders.

187
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,087
(HOMER LAUGHS)
(CHURCH MUSIC PLAYING)

188
00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:44,765
Hey, Moses.
Are you a loser?

189
00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,126
"Yes, l am, Homer."

190
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,527
(DOOR OPENS)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)

191
00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:54,281
How are those
two comely boarders
of yours, Ned?

192
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,089
Well, Mel,
they're swell.

193
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,766
Oh, yeah.
They're just what
my laptop needed.

194
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,001
(GIRLS GIGGLING)

195
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:07,606
Son, I need to pee,

196
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:09,011
but I can't
stop watching.

197
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:10,570
Fetch me a bottle.
Come on, Dad.

198
00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:12,324
I've seen you hit
the toilet from here.

199
00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,562
What are you
two doing?
(GASPS) Uh...

200
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:17,047
We're watching
the latest photos
from Mars.

201
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:19,043
Ho-ho! Great stuff.
Worth every billion.

202
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:22,127
(GASPS)

203
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,249
Bart, turn away
from that screen and
look out the window!

204
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:27,085
No problemo.
(BOTH GIGGLING)

205
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:29,441
(GASPS)

206
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:32,091
It's happening
in Ned's house!

207
00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:33,321
Why would
he allow that?

208
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:37,724
Well, that's obvious.
He doesn't even know.

209
00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:39,570
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS)

210
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:45,920
Come on.
You tell him
right now.

211
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:48,611
Ned, Homer
has something
to tell you.

212
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,450
(GROANS) Uh...

213
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,171
I'm thinking about
getting a yogurt franchise.

214
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,481
It's called Plops.
It's... (SCREAMS)

215
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,403
You know
what I mean.
(MOANS)

216
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:04,208
Okay. Flanders, you see...

217
00:11:04,520 --> 00:11:07,763
You soft-core
sophomores took advantage
of my trustful nature

218
00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:11,162
and sullied the Internet
by putting pornography on it!

219
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:12,605
NED: Get out!

220
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:15,087
(BOTH GASP)

221
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:16,925
(ALL CHEERING)

222
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:23,443
The whole town
is laughing at me
behind my back.

223
00:11:23,680 --> 00:11:25,842
(SIGHS) I guess
you're the only
real friend I have.

224
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:26,921
Are you kidding?

225
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:30,169
Homer's the one
what wised us up
to the sexy goings-on.

226
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,529
Homer,
is this true?

227
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:36,446
Ned, I had no choice.
It was just so funny.

228
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,681
The Bible says,
"Cast your bread
upon the waters."

229
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,087
But all I got
was a bunch
of soggy bread.

230
00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:44,641
Mmm. Soggy...

231
00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,927
Don't say it, Homer!
This is not the time!

232
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,001
...bread.

233
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:54,721
Mmm.

234
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,723
What's wrong,
Daddy?

235
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,040
Well, Toddy,
you know how I said

236
00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,009
our friends are
like the Canaanites?

237
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:02,526
Today I realized
they're more like
the Midianites.

238
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:03,641
(BOTH GASP)

239
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:07,129
(SIGHS) I wish
we lived in a place more
like the America of yesteryear

240
00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,726
that only exists
in the brains
of us Republicans.

241
00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:18,924
"Made in Humbleton, PA."

242
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,564
I don't usually make
big life decisions

243
00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:22,846
based on things
stamped on things

244
00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,126
that I bought
at a garage sale,

245
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:27,170
But corn dog it, boys,
it's time for a change!

246
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:28,281
(BOTH EXCLAIM)

247
00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:31,600
Dad, I don't think
you realize what
you've done.

248
00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:35,480
You've totally
humiliated the best friend
the Simpsons ever had.

249
00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:39,929
You're right. But you know
who the real victim
is here? Ned.

250
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,287
That's what
we've been trying
to tell you!

251
00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:43,441
Oh, yeah.

252
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,525
What's this?

253
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,563
"Goodbye, Springfield"?

254
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:54,086
NED: <i>"The Flanders family has
pulled up stakes.</i>

255
00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:57,164
<i>"You have laughed at us
for the last-diddly-ast time."</i>

256
00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,447
"Last-diddly-ast"?

257
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,326
(WAILING)

258
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:05,924
He's gone!
And it's all
someone's fault!

259
00:13:16,680 --> 00:13:18,648
Well, Homer,
you've driven away

260
00:13:18,720 --> 00:13:21,564
the best neighbor
a family could ever want.

261
00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:24,360
But at least
we have a chance
to start fresh.

262
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:27,250
So let's be
on our best
behavior, okay?

263
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:30,324
Don't worry, Marge.
I've taken every precaution.

264
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:34,409
This is so humiliating.

265
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:37,169
Well, at least
your name's
on the bowl.

266
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:39,526
Hmm.

267
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:41,566
(GROWLING)

268
00:13:42,080 --> 00:13:43,605
(BOTH GROWLING)

269
00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:45,365
I submit! I submit!

270
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,441
Hmm.

271
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,610
(DOOR BELL RINGS)

272
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,529
Hi, I'm Homer Simpson.
I live next door.

273
00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,001
So, is that
your whistle?

274
00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:01,764
Damn straight.
Clay Roberts.

275
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,002
I coach wrestling,
so everybody
calls me Coach.

276
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,731
Listen, neighboreeno,

277
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:09,326
I want to start
our relationship
off on the right foot,

278
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,324
so if you need anything,
anything at all...

279
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:14,210
What jag-off left this here?

280
00:14:21,880 --> 00:14:23,120
(GASPS)

281
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,762
(BOTH LAUGHING)

282
00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:35,641
(TUBA PLAYING)

283
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:40,651
(BARKING)

284
00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:47,644
Boys, we're home.

285
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:48,841
(MARGE HUMMING)

286
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:53,361
<i>(SINGING) Kick it</i>

287
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:54,481
(LOUD MUSIC PLAYING)

288
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,800
(WAILING)

289
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,651
That's coming
from next door!

290
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,963
Don't worry, I'll
straighten things out
with Coach Clay.

291
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:03,246
We're good buddies.

292
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,926
We play this game
called "Who can
punch the softest?"

293
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,367
And he always lets me win.

294
00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,530
Hey, Coach,
do you mind turning
down the music?

295
00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:14,971
My baby's trying
to take a nap.

296
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:18,010
That's too bad
because my twins
are just waking up, dude.

297
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,526
Encourage me.

298
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,045
Looking good.
Feel the burn.

299
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,088
Louder!
You're a god!

300
00:15:25,160 --> 00:15:26,400
I can't think of anymore.

301
00:15:26,480 --> 00:15:27,811
Just say, "Go, 90, 90!"

302
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,041
Go, go, go!

303
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,327
Say it like
you mean it,
you wuss!

304
00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,444
Howdy, Humbletonian.

305
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,284
Picnics and
Pixy Stix!

306
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:45,331
I'll see your smile
and raise you a wink
and a giggle.

307
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:50,004
This town is sweeter
than a cake made of pie.

308
00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,162
Even the dogs
curb themselves.

309
00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,802
Everyone new begins here,
in the dimple department.

310
00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,523
NED: (GASPS)
Can I start yesterday?

311
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:06,562
There is one personal matter.

312
00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:10,008
I'm afraid
you'll have to lose
the hippie lip.

313
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,647
(GASPS) Get rid
of Dr. Fuzzenstein?

314
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:16,884
Why, I couldn't dream
of thinking about considering.

315
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,001
(SIGHS) I'll see
what I can do.

316
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:22,241
Very good.

317
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,561
Until then,
you can wear this.

318
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:26,241
(GRUNTS)

319
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:29,926
(MOANS)

320
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:34,527
Daddy, why do you
have to shave
your nose-neighbor?

321
00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,489
You know what?
I'm not gonna.

322
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:40,326
My moustache
has the right to life.
It's my body and my choice!

323
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:44,766
<i>(SINGING) Bad Company</i>

324
00:16:45,640 --> 00:16:46,641
<i>I can't deny</i>

325
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:49,241
(ALL GASP)

326
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:52,810
<i>Bad, bad company</i>

327
00:16:54,560 --> 00:16:56,369
<i>Until the day I die</i>

328
00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,761
<i>Oh, yeah
Until the day I die</i>

329
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:03,807
<i>Ooh</i>

330
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:10,441
This is for you.

331
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:17,881
(MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

332
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:20,042
ANNOUNCER: <i>Tonight on
"Celebrity Chop Shop,"</i>

333
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:23,920
<i>we sell the parts
off Jason Bateman's Bentley.</i>

334
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,843
<i>What did you do
to my car?</i>

335
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,843
<i>Dude, you've been
chop shopped!</i>

336
00:17:27,920 --> 00:17:30,446
<i>Why would you do that?
How am I gonna get home?</i>

337
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,649
<i>Chop shop!
Chop shop!</i>

338
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,086
(ZAPPING)

339
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:36,641
Huh?

340
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:38,880
(GASPS)

341
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,844
Hey! You knocked
out my power.

342
00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,082
How am I supposed
to eat without
watching TV?

343
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,527
Yeah. Something
tells me you won't
starve, huh?

344
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,931
(GROANS)
Huh, chief?

345
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,606
When are you gonna
stop poking me?
Will it be soon?

346
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,250
Relax, dumbass.

347
00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:58,245
By the way.
I borrowed some gas
from your car, you dumb-ass!

348
00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,085
But I siphoned that
gas from Flanders.

349
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:02,605
Flanders.

350
00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:05,763
What are you doing,
reminiscing?
Like a woman?

351
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:09,401
Like a woman
who's made the biggest
mistake of her life!

352
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:10,960
(WAILS)

353
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,370
(MUSIC PLAYING)

354
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:18,681
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
(GRUNTS)

355
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,765
(GASPS) Homer?
What are you
doing here?

356
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:26,242
I was just driving around
the Mid-Atlantic states,

357
00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:29,369
ringing doorbells
at random.
And I just...

358
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:30,721
(WAILING)

359
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:33,167
Who am I fooling
with my awesome lies?

360
00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:36,050
I want you to come
back to Springfield!

361
00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:38,930
Why? So you can make me
a laughingstock again?

362
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,890
No. I want
to make you
a respecting-stock.

363
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,570
I don't know
if you've noticed.

364
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,291
But I borrowed
a lot of your stuff
over the years.

365
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,169
Well, that is true.
In fact...

366
00:18:49,240 --> 00:18:50,526
Shut up, Flanders.

367
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:53,570
But some things
I could never
take from you.

368
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:56,564
Your kindness,
your gentle spirit,

369
00:18:56,640 --> 00:19:00,645
and your infinite patience
with a big, dumb jerk like me.

370
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:03,200
Ned, I don't deserve you
as a neighbor,

371
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:06,887
but will you forgive
a young, handsome fool
and come home?

372
00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:08,485
Homer, that's really touching.

373
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:10,847
But my boys and I
are trying to make
a new start,

374
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:13,406
and people here
are a little bit
more my cup of...

375
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:14,481
(INDISTINCT TALKING)

376
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:18,600
Are there letters
to pick up or no letters
to pick up?

377
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:20,842
I can't tell and I'm
looking right at it.

378
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:23,403
Ooh, that tears it!

379
00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:25,403
Boys, put on
your goody two-shoes.

380
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,926
We're moving
back to Springfield!

381
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,525
But l have
a girlfriend.

382
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,011
Now you've got
a pen-pal.

383
00:19:31,080 --> 00:19:32,081
Yay!

384
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:33,521
So you see,
Mr. Roberts,

385
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:35,523
I really would
like my house back.

386
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:38,729
Really? Well,
that's too bad
because I'm not leaving.

387
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:40,404
See, I like this place,

388
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:42,642
and I've already
got fatso, here,
broken in.

389
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:44,808
Ain't that right,
fatso? Huh?
(GRUNTS)

390
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,602
Yeah. lam a little pudgy.

391
00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:49,921
You got me. Yeah.

392
00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:52,726
Now, Coach,
I've tried to be
Christian and respectful.

393
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,007
But l guess
I'm just gonna
have to point out

394
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:57,162
your $200,000
check bounced.

395
00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,402
Legally, I still
own this house.

396
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,403
Yeah? Tell it
to the Marines!

397
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,568
(BOTH GRUNTING)
(GROANS)

398
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,282
Okay! Okay, I give. Ow!

399
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:07,761
(GRUNTS)
Ow!

400
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:11,242
Why did you do that?
I was begging for mercy!

401
00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,209
I saw my advantage
and I took it.

402
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:15,169
That's what heroes do.

403
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:20,681
Okay, Ned. Get ready
for your welcome
home surprise!

404
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:21,801
(GASPS)

405
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:25,523
Homer, did you steal
the organ from
the church?

406
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,409
Maybe. We don't know
that for sure.

407
00:20:27,480 --> 00:20:28,845
Well, you gotta
take it back.

408
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:30,126
After the party.

409
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:31,440
(PLAYING)

410
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:36,690
It sure is great
to look down my nose
at everybody again.

411
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:38,250
Mind if I waggle
my finger a little bit?

412
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,890
Go nuts.

413
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,803
Flanders? Okay, that's it.

414
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:43,484
It's really irritating!

415
00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:44,846
(GRUNTS)