1
00:00:04,296 --> 00:00:05,969
(SINGING) The Simpsons
Ripped by jasonnguyenn2606
2
00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:18,606
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
3
00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:25,363
(HORN BELLOWING)
4
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:39,293
(PLAYING DIFFERENT TUNE)
5
00:00:46,255 --> 00:00:47,256
(TIRES SCREECHING)
6
00:00:58,850 --> 00:00:59,897
(HONKING)
7
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,023
D'oh!
8
00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:06,108
(SCREAMS)
9
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:07,735
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
10
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:13,825
(BUZZING)
11
00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,040
Oh!
12
00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,924
(BEEPING)
13
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:39,312
COMMENTATOR: We got a real nail-biter
here at Mile High Stadium.
14
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:43,480
The Broncos down by one, and
30 seconds left on the clock.
15
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:46,782
Come on, Broncos,
you can do it.
16
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:48,442
And I'm joined in
the broadcast booth
17
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:51,074
by the stars of
ABC's latest reality show
18
00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:53,121
Billionaire versus Bear.
19
00:01:53,405 --> 00:01:55,499
Let's review the easy-to-follow
rules of your show.
20
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:57,334
Each of you thought
you were in a race
21
00:01:57,409 --> 00:02:00,413
to plant the Taco Bell flag
at the North Pole.
22
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:03,165
What you didn't know is,
the race was a chase
23
00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:05,960
spiced up by the presence
of the betrayer.
24
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:08,219
(GROANING)
25
00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:10,806
Well, now, the bear
has a surprise for you.
26
00:02:11,048 --> 00:02:13,597
He's not really a bear,
he's a tiger!
27
00:02:13,884 --> 00:02:16,182
Oh, lookie there! Denver
just won the ballgame!
28
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:20,186
Oh, the Broncos won?
29
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,899
Why didn't I bet on them like
Professor Pigskin told me to?
30
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,521
Who's Professor Pigskin?
31
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:29,199
He's a pig who can predict
football winners in advance!
32
00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:31,409
How is that possible?
33
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:34,204
Because he's got something
no gambler's ever had!
34
00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:35,496
A system!
35
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:38,330
I've gotten the pamphlet four
weeks in a row and every time,
36
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,285
the pick-of-the-week
has been right on the money.
37
00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:41,499
Oh!
38
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:42,579
I get it.
39
00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:44,714
Every week, they send
out two pamphlets,
40
00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,758
Half picking one team and
half picking the other.
41
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,551
Eventually, there's
a small group of people
42
00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:50,254
who only receive
the correct predictions
43
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:53,139
and think Professor
Pigskin is always right.
44
00:02:53,215 --> 00:02:55,217
That's when they
ask for your money.
45
00:02:55,425 --> 00:02:56,677
(GASPS) I have money!
46
00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,512
Dad, it's a scam!
47
00:02:58,595 --> 00:02:59,812
A scam?
48
00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:02,357
Not according to Eddie F.
from Tucson,
49
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:05,185
or Football Millionaire
in Beloit, Michigan.
50
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:07,984
Look, all I'm saying is, you really
should think twice before...
51
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:10,862
Expiration date,
06/08.
52
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:17,118
Oh, Professor Pigskin told me to bet
on the Raiders, but they look awful!
53
00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:20,960
And with 37 starting players out
with the flu, the Oakland Raiders
54
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:24,334
have turned to drunks
conscripted from local bars.
55
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,254
Spare some change,
football dude?
56
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,380
(GROANS)
57
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:30,836
Now, you have
a good day.
58
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,847
Dad, how much
money did you bet?
59
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,016
Hey, I didn't bet
any of our money.
60
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:37,809
I just borrowed
some from him.
61
00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:40,062
Don't worry.
62
00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:43,141
We can hammer
out a payment plan.
63
00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:44,770
Ow! (SOBBING)
64
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,898
It's not my fault
the Raiders lost!
65
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,479
It's Professor Pigskin's!
66
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:51,782
If he mentions that pig
again, use two hammers.
67
00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:54,071
But the pig...
(SCREAMS) Ow! Ow!
68
00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:56,825
Now, I do have a way
we could settle this debt.
69
00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:00,116
We would like to use your
home to shoot an adult film.
70
00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:03,748
Yeah, it's called Lemony Lick-it:
A Series of Horny Events.
71
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:05,958
(GASPS) Marge
would kill me!
72
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,666
Please! There's got to be
something else I can do.
73
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,468
Like mow your lawn
every week for two weeks.
74
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:14,717
I can't do it next week.
Ow! All right!
75
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:17,011
You can shoot your gay
adult film at my house.
76
00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:19,343
I didn't say
anything about gay.
77
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:21,770
I thought you guys
were the gay mafia. Ow!
78
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:25,645
Oh, they're shooting an adult
film at my house tomorrow.
79
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,852
How am I gonna get rid
of Marge and the kids?
80
00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:30,237
Well, I got these free
tickets to Santa's Village.
81
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:31,817
I know a guy
who turns the dead
82
00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:34,366
sleigh horses into jerky
and sells it to bars.
83
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,276
Ugh!
84
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:38,945
Thanks, Moe!
85
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:42,249
Why would we want to
go to Santa's Village?
86
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:43,291
It's August.
87
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,960
I want to see Santa. He can
explain why he gave me
88
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,835
a Playstation box with nothing
inside but a coloring book.
89
00:04:48,914 --> 00:04:50,336
It got your hopes up, didn't it?
90
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:53,464
Homer, before
I take the kids
91
00:04:53,710 --> 00:04:56,133
I want you to swear you're
not up to something.
92
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:57,430
I swear.
93
00:04:57,506 --> 00:05:01,101
And I'd also like to know why
your hand is in that cast.
94
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:04,558
Because you look
even more beautiful
95
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:06,857
now than the day
I married you.
96
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,225
Aw!
97
00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:12,938
(FLIES BUZZING)
98
00:05:14,189 --> 00:05:16,567
Welcome to Santa's Village,
where it's Christmas every day.
99
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:17,984
Closed on Christmas.
100
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:21,413
Those reindeer look
really uncomfortable.
101
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:24,457
That's because they don't
thrive in this environment!
102
00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:26,539
Watcha reading,
Santa?
103
00:05:26,618 --> 00:05:28,165
Torn Clancy's Op-center.
104
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:29,713
You don't seem
very jolly.
105
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:32,337
Well, Santa got
some bad medical news.
106
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,085
Okay...
107
00:05:35,544 --> 00:05:36,761
Okay...
108
00:05:37,420 --> 00:05:38,546
And, action!
109
00:05:38,922 --> 00:05:42,096
We've been on this spaceship
for a hundred years.
110
00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:45,395
When will we ever get
to Planet Satisfaction?
111
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,438
Hey, Homer,
we... Wow!
112
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:50,188
Angela Dare!
Sultry Stevens!
113
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:53,232
Yeah, what is this, a reunion
of Fahrenheit 9-on-1?
114
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:54,988
Guys! Get out of here!
115
00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:57,907
Homer, how'd you ever get
Marge to go along with this?
116
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:00,902
Look, if you promise never to tell
her, I'll let you be in the movie.
117
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:03,538
We just came over to borrow
a board game, but okay.
118
00:06:03,613 --> 00:06:06,036
I've always dreamed of
working in an adult film.
119
00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:07,368
I'll run
the sound board!
120
00:06:07,450 --> 00:06:09,623
And I'll perform
in the sex scenes!
121
00:06:12,497 --> 00:06:13,965
Merry Christmas!
122
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:17,135
I'm your old pal
Frosty the Snowman!
123
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,211
In your dreams.
124
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:20,088
Frosty!
125
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:21,757
Where's your magic top hat?
126
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:25,720
Oh, God, please don't tell Mr.
Roselli I lost my hat again!
127
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:29,189
(WHISTLING)
128
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,892
My Christmas present
to myself this year
129
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,103
was leaving
that place early.
130
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:37,655
Mom, I got a rash where
the reindeer licked me.
131
00:06:37,772 --> 00:06:38,773
Huh?
132
00:06:38,857 --> 00:06:41,531
When they put Santa in the ambulance,
Why'd they pull the blanket
133
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:43,203
all the way up
over his head?
134
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,656
Look, I know this wasn't
the greatest outing
135
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,082
but your father
meant well,
136
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:49,660
so don't let him know that we didn't...
(EXCLAIMS)
137
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:54,210
Are you guys
almost done?
138
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:58,378
Listen, I got a tattoo of Foghorn
Leghorn on my right thigh.
139
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,090
Are we gonna get
into any trademark
140
00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,262
or copyright
issues here?
141
00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:03,261
'Cause we could
put a Band-Aid on it
142
00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,183
and say my character just
got stabbed.
143
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,636
Relax, three guys'll put
their hands on it, okay?
144
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:10,097
Now, everybody is
very much in love.
145
00:07:10,305 --> 00:07:11,682
And, action!
146
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:15,352
Homer! Is this
a snuggle film?
147
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:16,603
Er...
148
00:07:16,686 --> 00:07:18,154
You're in
the wrong house, lady!
149
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:19,481
How could you
allow this?
150
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:21,862
In the room where
we do puzzles!
151
00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:24,869
(GRUNTS)
Oh, uh-uh.
152
00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:28,240
Honey, please, just listen
to what I have to say.
153
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,449
All right.
154
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,034
Lowed the mafia money.
155
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:32,202
Oh!
156
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:34,295
Where are you going?
Away from you.
157
00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:35,714
When will you be back?
I don't know.
158
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,624
Who's going to watch the kids?
You are.
159
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:39,755
Me? But I'm
the father!
160
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,132
(ENGINE REVVING)
161
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:47,221
Boy, Homer, I've never
seen Mom this mad.
162
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:50,638
Honey, come back!
You didn't say bye to the kids!
163
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,222
MARGE: Bye, Bart.
164
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:54,725
I love you, Lisa.
165
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,235
Sleep tight, Maggie.
166
00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:00,902
Today's the last day you can
eat the yogurt in the fridge.
167
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,235
Well, we better
go eat that yogurt.
168
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:09,372
Kids, I'm sure, your
mother will be back soon.
169
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:12,041
She should be back now.
It's dinnertime.
170
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:13,915
Look, we've been
down this road before.
171
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:17,502
I do something stupid, your
mom leaves, we eat waffles.
172
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,632
We're out of waffles.
All we got is ketchup.
173
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:23,007
You mean Homer's
famous marinara sauce?
174
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,337
No, I mean ketchup.
175
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:26,924
Where's your sense
of magic and wonder?
176
00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:31,136
Come on, Marge. When
are you going to call?
177
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:32,220
(RINGING)
178
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:35,439
Let it ring, play hard to get.
That's hard enough!
179
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,267
Oh, my darling, I love you!
Please forgive me!
180
00:08:37,434 --> 00:08:39,482
MOE: Hey, Homer.
Moe, what are you calling me for?
181
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:40,938
You told me to call.
You wanted to see
182
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,193
if your phone
was working.
183
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,025
But what if Marge tries to
call while I'm talking to you?
184
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,234
Ain't you got
call waiting?
185
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,737
Of course, I have
call waiting, you idiot!
186
00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:51,289
I just never
learned how to use it!
187
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:54,538
Uh-oh, I might have broken the phone.
I better call Moe.
188
00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,039
(DIALING)
189
00:08:56,453 --> 00:08:59,127
Oh, hey, Homer. Moe, will
you get off the line?
190
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:04,627
(GROANS)
191
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:13,645
I guess I better tell them
I'm coming home.
192
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:19,776
(RINGS)
(STAMMERS)
193
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,108
Oh, Marge, what
a pleasant surprise.
194
00:09:22,228 --> 00:09:24,526
I'm at a rest stop
south of Springfield.
195
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,401
I know.
You're sorry now.
196
00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,486
Then you'll buy me some
Kwik-E-Mart flowers
197
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,913
maybe a box of candy,
where half the pieces
198
00:09:31,988 --> 00:09:34,582
mysteriously
have testing bites,
199
00:09:34,657 --> 00:09:36,375
and a week
later you'll be back
200
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:38,078
to your old
thoughtless self.
201
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:41,165
No, no, it's not going
to be like that, I swear.
202
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:45,252
Ew! Lemon cream.
You're going in the Marge pile.
203
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,679
I mean,
I love you so much.
204
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,139
Yeah, I love you, too.
205
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,307
(POUNDING AT DOOR)
206
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:53,180
Hold on. I'll be
off in a minute.
207
00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,306
(POUNDING CONTINUES)
208
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:57,229
Listen, buster, I had to buy
a club soda I didn't want
209
00:09:57,305 --> 00:09:58,978
to get change
for this phone.
210
00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:00,934
An oogly-boogly!
211
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,478
(ROARING)
212
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:06,777
Be still. Don't
give it the phone.
213
00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,155
Settle down,
sugar plum.
214
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:11,111
Look what daddy's
got in his pocket.
215
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:12,616
Yummy, yummy kelp-
216
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,539
Good girl,
yes, yes.
217
00:10:19,119 --> 00:10:21,213
This animal
means you no harm.
218
00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:23,381
She's a sweet old
Florida manatee,
219
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,834
also known as
a sea cow or dugong.
220
00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:29,512
HOMER: Hello, Marge, where do we keep
the socks that don't smell like feet?
221
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,214
I'll call you back.
222
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,223
I'm Dr. Caleb Thorn
223
00:10:35,301 --> 00:10:37,395
and I would do anything
to protect a manatee
224
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:39,143
except harm
another manatee.
225
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:41,517
What if by harming
a manatee
226
00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:43,317
you could save
two manatees?
227
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,942
But before you answer,
consider this.
228
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,569
The manatee you'd have
to harm is pregnant.
229
00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:52,156
Those are the questions
that keep me up at night.
230
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,577
(GROANS)
231
00:10:57,532 --> 00:10:59,534
I see a manatee
the needs a hug.
232
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:04,543
Ooh!
233
00:11:04,873 --> 00:11:06,045
HOMER: Hello, Marge?
234
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:07,842
Does the pizza
guy take a check?
235
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:09,840
If so, where do we
keep the checks?
236
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:12,342
And lastly,
how do you write a check?
237
00:11:14,257 --> 00:11:16,385
I think the worst
part was when I realized
238
00:11:16,467 --> 00:11:17,935
that Homer lied to me.
239
00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:20,805
From what you've told
me, it sounds like
240
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,516
what your husband did
was nothing new.
241
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:23,816
Exactly.
242
00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:25,856
I have a saying
which goes,
243
00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,437
"You can't teach
a manatee any tricks."
244
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:30,023
Maybe you could just put a hat
on him and say it's a trick.
245
00:11:30,106 --> 00:11:33,781
My point is Homer is the
exact same man you married
246
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:34,986
and if there's
a problem here,
247
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:37,197
it's that you keep
expecting him to change.
248
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:38,372
Huh!
249
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:41,668
MARGE: He cares so much
about those doggone dugongs.
250
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,871
I wish I felt
that kind of passion.
251
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,921
Maybe I should join
him on his mission.
252
00:11:46,122 --> 00:11:47,123
Hey, lady blue,
253
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:48,834
while you're sitting there
staring at the ceiling
254
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:50,710
your boyfriend's
in the parking lot
255
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:51,965
with his hands
in a walrus.
256
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,100
Yeah, that'll be
good for business.
257
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,146
Got to find your mom.
Got to find your mom.
258
00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:03,599
BART: Dad, I promise
I'll be good.
259
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:05,316
Can I get out of
the dog carrier?
260
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:07,569
It was hard enough getting you in there.
I'm not letting you out.
261
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:09,654
Yeah, she came
through here.
262
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:11,906
I believe she
was looking
263
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,983
to rekindle
her passion for life.
264
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:15,701
Ain't that right, Victor? Yes.
265
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:18,826
Señora left for the coast with a rugged,
yet sensitive man of science.
266
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:21,241
Rugged? Is that the
same as handsome?
267
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,450
Oh, no, no.
268
00:12:22,533 --> 00:12:25,207
"Handsome" means he look at
himself in the mirror all day.
269
00:12:25,328 --> 00:12:26,830
"Rugged" means
you look at him.
270
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:28,999
(SOBBING)
271
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:31,376
Oh!
272
00:12:35,213 --> 00:12:39,309
Okay, water monsters, be friendly...
But not too friendly.
273
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:45,019
What do I do?
Talk to it!
274
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,441
Let it know
you're not a threat.
275
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:51,404
Okay. You know, up close,
you're kinda cute.
276
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:53,648
(RETCH ES)
277
00:12:53,731 --> 00:12:55,699
Aw, you're a good thing.
I know it.
278
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,698
Let me clean out your ears.
279
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,000
I've bonded with him!
280
00:13:05,076 --> 00:13:06,373
(GIGGLING)
281
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:11,792
Where is he taking me?
282
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,877
To his underwater palace.
283
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:15,507
Just kidding.
It's a lagoon full of bugs.
284
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,802
(MARGE YELLING)
285
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,648
Dad, I don't think
we're gonna find Mom today.
286
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,817
And I'm sick of eating
at restaurant chains
287
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:32,771
I never even heard of like
Skobo's and Dim Willie's.
288
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,022
LISA: Ugh!
289
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:36,153
Okay, kids, we'll
stop for the day.
290
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,326
I have cousins near here.
We'll stay with them.
291
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,157
Country cousins?
Are they rubes?
292
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,488
'Cause I don't
cotton to rubes.
293
00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:43,039
Oh! The rubiest.
294
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:45,833
Oh, look, a new restaurant chain.
Whoo-hoo!
295
00:13:46,075 --> 00:13:48,077
Can we say it's my birthday
and get free stuff?
296
00:13:48,161 --> 00:13:50,710
We'll say it's
all our birthdays.
297
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:52,331
(MUMBLING)
298
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:56,094
(BANJO PLAYING)
299
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:58,967
Cousin Homer,
how are you?
300
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,882
And this must
be Bart and Lisa.
301
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,725
Well, aren't you
nice-looking kids.
302
00:14:02,967 --> 00:14:04,765
Hey, do you folks
want to see a quilt
303
00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,141
that's been
in our family
304
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,642
for five generations?
305
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:10,058
I warned you
he was an idiot.
306
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,686
Well, all I need
is some moonshine
307
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,897
and someone
playing the harmonicky
308
00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:17,607
and I'm as happy
as a pig in plop
309
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:20,034
We're having
lasagna and Caesar salad.
310
00:14:20,401 --> 00:14:23,701
Don't laugh. They're
doing the best they can.
311
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:27,200
So, Homer,
how are you?
312
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:29,995
Just great. Things
couldn't be better.
313
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:33,001
And how is
our lovely Marge?
314
00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:38,053
She, uh, was killed by a
falling air conditioner.
315
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,130
Oh! Why, that's terrible!
316
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,223
Ooh, er,
it wasn't all bad.
317
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:43,345
As part of
the settlement,
318
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,971
her funeral was
air conditioned.
319
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:50,770
Now if you'll excuse me, I have
to use the outhouse again.
320
00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,185
Well, we don't have
an outhouse.
321
00:14:53,559 --> 00:14:55,311
My recording studio!
322
00:14:57,188 --> 00:14:59,566
So how are
we related again?
323
00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,071
Our dogs
are brothers.
324
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:02,694
BART: Oh, yeah.
325
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:05,492
(GASPS) I see Mom!
326
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:07,202
(GIGGLING)
327
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,584
I've got
my groove back!
328
00:15:10,118 --> 00:15:12,086
We've got to tell Dad!
Where is he?
329
00:15:16,666 --> 00:15:17,667
Oh!
330
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,969
You lost that first
game to hustle me!
331
00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:21,261
(CLUCKING)
332
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:27,681
I can't believe how many
manatees we saved today.
333
00:15:27,969 --> 00:15:30,222
And the ones we can't save,
we put to good use.
334
00:15:35,393 --> 00:15:36,394
Hmmm.
335
00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:40,523
What am I supposed to do,
bury them at Arlington?
336
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,993
Marge?
Homer?
337
00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:45,285
These are for you.
338
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:46,362
Ooh!
339
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,824
Listen, I thought
about what I did.
340
00:15:48,906 --> 00:15:51,125
And it was really,
really wrong.
341
00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,169
I'm sorry.
342
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:55,713
Homie, I accept
your apology.
343
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,291
I love you, Marge.
344
00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,960
But I'm not
coming back yet.
345
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,043
(EXCLAIMS IN DISBELIEF)
346
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,050
I've found a place
where I'm needed.
347
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,429
You're needed at home!
348
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:06,303
And treated
like I deserve.
349
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:09,135
You're needed at home!
350
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,515
I'm sorry, Home.
351
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:13,815
I just can't find it in my
heart to come back right now.
352
00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:15,642
Well, that's
very reasonable.
353
00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,898
You stole my wife!
I'll kill you!
354
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,688
Homer, I have no interest
in stealing your wife
355
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:23,483
but Marge is getting something
from her work with me.
356
00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:26,410
Something a strong, passionate
woman like her needs.
357
00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:27,612
A Purpose.
358
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:28,821
WOW!
359
00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:31,078
I can see why
she loves you.
360
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,918
She doesn't love me. She's
just trying to find herself.
361
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,919
(EXHALES)
You know everything.
362
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:38,080
I don't know everything.
I'm just a man.
363
00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:39,916
And what a man!
364
00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:45,972
Okay, the key to this
thing is the manatees.
365
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,341
Is Marge saving them or killing them?
Saving!
366
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:50,847
Okay. To save the manatees,
I guess I could donate
367
00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:53,476
my time and money
and help them build a...
368
00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:54,931
Screw that!
369
00:16:55,097 --> 00:16:56,144
Dad!
370
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,192
Those jet skiers are headed
right for a herd of manatees!
371
00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:04,024
Check out those gentle,
exotic sea creatures.
372
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,692
Let's whomp 'em!
373
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:06,992
(MOTORS REVVING)
374
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,821
(ALL LAUGHING)
375
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:14,246
Man, I just wish we
could see their tears.
376
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:16,410
(PANTING)
377
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:18,462
Why don't you pick
on someone your own size?
378
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:20,331
They are roughly our size.
379
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:21,878
In fact,
they're bigger than us.
380
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:25,007
Look, if it were up to me I'd
be harassing them with you.
381
00:17:25,253 --> 00:17:27,551
If anything, I'd be the
guy who took it too far.
382
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:29,849
But I love my wife
and I want to win her back!
383
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:32,681
You're a brave man.
And we respect two things,
384
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:36,644
bravery and tattoos that look
like barbed wire. Let's go.
385
00:17:40,101 --> 00:17:41,853
(LAUGHS)
Rubes!
386
00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:45,606
What did you
call us?
387
00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:47,533
Catch me if you can!
388
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,162
Manatees! Defend!
389
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,083
(MOTOR REVVING)
390
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,209
(YELLING)
391
00:18:09,255 --> 00:18:10,256
(GASPS)
392
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:13,513
(HOMER GROANING)
393
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,273
Attention jet skiers.
394
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:23,945
I have a court order here requiring
you to vacate these waters.
395
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:26,697
No court order's gonna
tell me what to do.
396
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:28,945
Oh, man!
It's notarized!
397
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,067
Let's boogie!
398
00:18:33,404 --> 00:18:34,576
Homer, are you okay?
399
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:36,157
How many fingers
am I holding up?
400
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,663
Poor dumb country mouse.
401
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,419
Can't even count.
402
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:42,709
(MOANS)
403
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,753
My sweet, sweet Homie!
404
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,794
You sacrificed
yourself for the manatees.
405
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:49,052
Oh!
406
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:52,007
Rubes.
So many rubes...
407
00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:55,560
Pounding me with their jet skis.
Rubes...
408
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:58,020
Please, no, rubes.
409
00:19:00,848 --> 00:19:02,521
(GROANING)
410
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:03,601
(RETCHING)
411
00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:07,571
I'm gonna take you
home and fix you up,
412
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,241
'cause you're
the real endangered species,
413
00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:12,326
a devoted husband.
414
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:19,330
Marge, I'm always
amazed you chose me.
415
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:20,910
And I always will.
416
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:22,290
Whoo-hoo!
417
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,167
(SIGHS)
418
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,002
I'm starting to think
I should find a woman.
419
00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:31,133
(BLEATING)
420
00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:33,840
Yeah, Miranda was nice, but I'm
not driving to Corpus Christi
421
00:19:33,923 --> 00:19:35,800
every time she needs
a light bulb changed.
422
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:36,975
(BLEATS)
Amen.
423
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:40,103
Hey, since we got the kids
with us, why don't we all take
424
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,728
a few days of much
needed R&R?
425
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,688
Don't you have to
be back at work?
426
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:48,146
Yes. But I've got a friend
who owes me a solid.
427
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,114
Smithers, who is this
barrel-chested go-getter?
428
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,575
I believe it's a manatee
posing as Homer Simpson, sir.
429
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:02,414
That's cute.
(PANTING)
430
00:20:02,493 --> 00:20:04,996
I think this is the beginning
of a beautiful friendship.
431
00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:07,707
Actually, sir, I believe he's
about to die of dehydration.
432
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:10,301
Good heavens!
Grab a sponge, man!
433
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,551
(WOMAN SINGING) Ooh
434
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:17,474
You might not
ever get rich
435
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:22,139
But let me tell you it's
better than digging a ditch
436
00:20:23,139 --> 00:20:25,767
There ain't no telling
who you might meet
437
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:30,572
A movie star or maybe
even an Indian chief
438
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:33,820
Working at the car wash
439
00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:36,740
Working at
the car wash, yeah!
440
00:20:37,445 --> 00:20:39,789
Come on and sing it
with me, car wash
441
00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:45,085
Sing it with the feeling
now, car wash, yeah
442
00:20:47,955 --> 00:20:50,458
Come some of the work
get's kind of hard
443
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:53,711
This ain't no
place to be
444
00:20:53,794 --> 00:20:55,341
If you planned
on being a star
445
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,553
Let me tell you
it's always cool
446
00:21:00,217 --> 00:21:03,642
And the boss don't mind
sometimes if you act a fool
447
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:06,850
At the car wash
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
448
00:21:07,308 --> 00:21:10,061
Talking about
the car wash, yeah!
449
00:21:10,436 --> 00:21:12,359
Come on y'all
and sing it for me
450
00:21:12,438 --> 00:21:14,987
Car wash, whoo-hoo!
451
00:21:16,567 --> 00:21:18,035
Car wash, yeah!
Ripped by jasonnguyen2606