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00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:04,847
COMMENTATOR: We're here at game six of
the World Series. The highlight so far,
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00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:10,131
a cloud shaped like a giraffe that
floated by during the rain delay.
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00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:14,649
Oh, would you look at that? The
batter just called time-out again.
4
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,686
Now, let's look in the stands
at the players' wives.
Ripped By mstoll
5
00:00:18,760 --> 00:00:21,730
Well, what do you know? They're
talking on cell phones.
6
00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:24,360
No doubt complaining
about the good life.
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00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:26,966
This is the most boring
game in all the universe.
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00:00:27,040 --> 00:00:30,931
And with all the steroids they take,
the players look like freaks.
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00:00:31,040 --> 00:00:33,247
BOTH: Freaks! Freaks!
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00:00:33,880 --> 00:00:36,121
Freaks! Freaks! Freaks!
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00:00:37,680 --> 00:00:38,920
COMMENTATOR: And next
week on Fox,
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00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:41,651
catch the new
OC spinoff, Pomona.
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00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,041
lt's even hotter
away from the beach.
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00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:45,121
Mmm-mmm.
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00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:46,891
If we don't
speed up this game,
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00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,371
The Simpsons
Halloween special
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00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:51,523
won't air until Administrative
Professionals Day.
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00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:52,567
Speaking of which,
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00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,642
we must remember
to get Dorothy something.
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00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,962
(BOTH GROWLING)
Yeah.
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00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:06,851
The boredom is excruciating.
Fire the accele-ray!
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00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:14,928
COMMENTATOR: Rodriguez
pops it to right field
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00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:20,769
as some sort of accele-ray bathes the
stadium in an eerie, green glow.
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00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:22,569
(LAUGHS)
Who would've thunk it?
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00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:24,688
It's still boring.
Faster!
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00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:27,002
But the fabric of the
universe itself may shatter!
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00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:30,004
Good. Only then could
the Cubs finally win.
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00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:59,366
KODOS: Smooth move, Space-lax. You've
destroyed the totality of existence.
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00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:02,490
KANG: It'll be fine.
I'll just leave a note.
30
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,051
Patty, is it you or me
who likes grape jelly?
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00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:23,561
For 35 cents off,
I love it.
32
00:02:24,800 --> 00:02:27,485
Hey, Lise, I bet I could jump
in the swimming pool from here.
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00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:30,006
Bart, that would be the
stupidest thing you ever did.
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00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:33,522
No, the stupidest thing would
be doing it backwards.
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00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,282
(GRUNTS) Cowa...
(THUD)
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00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:39,887
(GASPS)
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00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:44,010
Uh, Mom, remember how you
wished we would never grow up?
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00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:45,970
(MONITOR BEEPING)
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00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,010
I'm afraid your son
is in a deep, deep coma
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00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:51,889
from which he
will never emerge.
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00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,004
I guess we should count our
blessings he's not dead.
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00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,323
Don't I know it. This way I get
to keep billing you. (LAUGHS)
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00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:01,890
Bart, wake up! I got
that bike you wanted.
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00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:03,127
(RINGS BELL)
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00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:07,721
(SOBBING)
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00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:13,243
Now, Marge, if you miss
your boy that much,
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00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:14,970
you could replace
him with one of these.
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00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:17,324
MARGE: A robot?
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00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,880
Wow, a robot kid
would be a blast.
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00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,281
We could confuse him and
make his head explode.
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00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,328
(IMITATING ROBOT VOICE)
"This statement is a lie."
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00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,647
But if it's a lie,
then it must be true.
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00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,200
But if it's true, then it must be...
Whoop, whoop, whoop...
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00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:30,361
Kaboom!
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00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:33,086
And a robot would take your
mind off your dead son.
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00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,049
I thought he was in a coma!
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00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:36,770
They're pretty
much the same thing.
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00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:38,569
Except this way I get
to keep billing you.
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00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:39,926
You already said that.
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00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,361
Well, you didn't laugh
the first time.
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00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,006
Okay, your robot
son is good to go.
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00:03:50,120 --> 00:03:51,246
You want me
to boot him up?
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00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:52,367
Okay.
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00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,601
(GRUNTS)
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00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:56,127
Ow! Mom, that hurt.
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00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:57,281
Uh!
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00:03:57,360 --> 00:03:59,761
He knows how to
push all my buttons.
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00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:01,330
And here's how
to push his.
69
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,442
Now, I'm a man who likes
to strangle his kids.
70
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:05,521
You think I could...
71
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:06,687
Sure. Let him have it.
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00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,650
Why, you metal...
(CHOKING)
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00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:11,607
Wow!
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00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:14,251
The windpipe is
incredibly responsive.
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00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:15,481
(CHOKING)
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00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,402
Yeah.
That's the 0-6s for you.
77
00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:22,682
MARGE: David is So helpful.
78
00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:24,604
And he's great
with the neighbors!
79
00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,445
Hi-diddily-ho! There's
no bot like a robot!
80
00:04:27,520 --> 00:04:28,521
(LAUGHS) Ooh!
81
00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:30,968
Ow! My Flander-doodles!
82
00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:33,083
Having a robot
brother troubles me.
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00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,448
The ethical implications
are really tensing me up.
84
00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:37,521
(WHIRRING)
85
00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:38,601
(MOANS)
86
00:04:39,520 --> 00:04:41,329
Goodbye, implications.
87
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,050
(MONITOR BEEPING)
88
00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:49,166
...bunga!
89
00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:51,720
What the...
90
00:04:57,520 --> 00:04:58,851
More waffles, Father?
91
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,048
Nice and hotto,
Mr. Roboto.
92
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:06,446
David, you're by far the best
son I've ever had. Uh-oh.
93
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:09,488
Did you replace me
with this tinker toy?
94
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,769
"Replace" is such an ugly word.
We upgraded.
95
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,809
Bart, we can befriends.
96
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,120
Eat my shorts!
97
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,690
I will comply.
98
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:21,401
(WHIRRING)
99
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:23,561
(BELL DINGS)
100
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:26,807
Mmm.
101
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,245
Here. Make me a kitty.
102
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:30,321
(GRUNTS)
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00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,371
(SINGING)
Johnny come lately
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00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,168
The new kid in town
105
00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:40,041
(CRACKLING)
106
00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,451
Everybody loves you
107
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,082
So don't let them down
108
00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,841
You look in her eyes
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00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,890
The music begins to play
110
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:00,968
Hopeless romantics
111
00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:03,169
Here we go again
112
00:06:07,720 --> 00:06:13,363
But after a while,
you're lookin' the other way
113
00:06:13,560 --> 00:06:15,210
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETS)
(CHITTERING)
114
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:19,562
I hate going to the zoo. I
feel so sorry for the animals.
115
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:22,849
Lisa, the zoo opens up a whole
new world for the animals.
116
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,287
In the wild, they would
never experience
117
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:27,840
boredom, obesity,
loss of purpose...
118
00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,003
You know,
the American dream.
119
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:31,161
(LION GROWLING)
120
00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,600
BART: Time to get rid
of the competition.
121
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:38,641
(GRUNTS)
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00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:39,721
(GROANS)
(PEACOCKS CAWING)
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00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:42,401
Whoo!
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00:06:42,480 --> 00:06:44,642
Thank God I landed in
a bunch of fruity birds.
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00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:50,841
(HISSING)
126
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:54,721
(SCREAMS) This is where
stem-cell research led us?
127
00:06:55,320 --> 00:06:59,211
David and Bart just aren't working out.
We have to do something.
128
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:00,521
Hmm...
129
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:05,211
HOMER: I'm really sorry, but our family
just can't handle both of you boys-.
130
00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,482
I hope that somewhere
deep in your data banks,
131
00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,449
you process fond
memories of us.
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00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:10,846
The sad part is,
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00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:13,605
there were times when I
actually had feelings for you.
134
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,967
I almost felt
I was your father.
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00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:17,764
What are you talking about?
136
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,764
David feels, and your mother
will agree when I tell her,
137
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,320
that it's best for our family
if you're no longer in it.
138
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,361
(GRUNTS)
139
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,963
We're still going to
the toy store, right?
140
00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,202
And I can pick out
as many toys as I want?
141
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,606
HOMER: No toys!
142
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:33,721
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
143
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:37,761
(BART MUMBLING)
144
00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:41,160
There should be a law against
abandoning your child.
145
00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:42,810
(SCREAMS)
Don't fear us.
146
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:45,645
We're gentle robots who were
cast off just like you.
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00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,041
I'm not a robot. I'm human.
(ALL GASP)
148
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:51,289
Tell me, young man, what is
it like to have feelings?
149
00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:53,203
I said I'm a human,
not a girl.
150
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:54,850
(TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING)
151
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,443
Uh, I think it's about time we
all power down for the night.
152
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,521
Can I stay with you guys tonight?
Of course.
153
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,451
And maybe someday,
you'll teach us to love.
154
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,728
Yeah, maybe.
What did you used to do?
155
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:16,961
I was a lawnmower.
156
00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:20,084
I could cut grass at three different
heights but I could not love.
157
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,283
I get it. I get it.
It sucks to be you.
158
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,089
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
159
00:08:27,240 --> 00:08:28,241
(GROANS)
160
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:30,563
What the F-prompt?
161
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,967
Our pans are gone.
We've been harvested.
162
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,329
My servos are gone.
That boy screwed us over.
163
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:39,561
He peed on me.
164
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,324
You are a urinalbot.
165
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:42,601
Lavatron.
166
00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,210
(LAUGHING)
167
00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:45,281
(DOORBELL RINGS)
168
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:50,404
Hey, it's Bart. Super.
169
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:53,081
(ALL SCREAM)
170
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,527
(SINGSONG) I'm home!
171
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,887
You told me he was
at culinary school.
172
00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:59,610
You wanted to
believe the lie.
173
00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:02,570
Time to destroy the one
who did this to me.
174
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:07,288
To get me, you'll have
to go through your fa...
175
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,722
Oh, those were
my good pants!
176
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:16,330
Well, the important thing
is we're a family again.
177
00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:17,447
This stinks!
178
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:18,931
I got stubby
little robot legs
179
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:21,480
and an ass that's not
equipped for an adult diet.
180
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:24,641
(GROANS)
181
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:25,721
LISA: Dad.
182
00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,167
Dad, wake up.
You're not a robot.
183
00:09:28,480 --> 00:09:30,244
You're just
possessed by the devil.
184
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,288
The power of
Christ compels thee!
185
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:33,885
(BABBLING)
186
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:40,091
I'll call work and tell
them he can't make it.
187
00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:41,161
Woo-hoo!
188
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:44,168
(LAUGHS) Suckers.
189
00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:50,045
(COCKING GUN)
(SCREAMING)
190
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,643
"Dear Homer Simpson,
191
00:10:03,720 --> 00:10:08,009
"Mr. Burns invites you to a hunting
party at his private estate.
192
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,970
"Parentheses, 'Sinister
Laugh,' close parentheses."
193
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:14,886
Please don't accept this invitation, Dad.
Hunting is cruel.
194
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,281
Honey, animals don't
feel death.
195
00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,962
That was proved by the
scientists at Black Angus.
196
00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,725
No fair. Dad gets
to kill wild animals.
197
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:26,969
But I shoot one bird, and I
have to go to a psychiatrist.
198
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:30,084
(GROANS) He still thinks
that hobo was a bird.
199
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:31,241
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
200
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:37,124
This is a pretty sweet deal,
Burns inviting us over.
201
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,924
What kind of motive
do you think he has?
202
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,411
Ulterior. Mmm.
203
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:46,484
Welcome all! Now, to explain
why I summoned you here.
204
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:49,211
Oh, God, here it comes.
Time-share pitch.
205
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,371
Well, I got bad credit
so the joke's on you!
206
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,248
You're here to
participate in a hunt
207
00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,846
for the world's
most dangerous game.
208
00:10:59,040 --> 00:11:03,125
The most dangerous game?
What could it be? Hmm.
209
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:05,607
Hmm.
Hmm. Hmm.
210
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:07,604
The game I'm hunting...
211
00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:09,603
ls all of you.
212
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:12,483
Now, because
I am too kind,
213
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:14,801
I will give you all
a five-minute head start.
214
00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:15,961
You may commence running!
215
00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,725
Five minutes of running? Shoot me now.
(GUNSHOT)
216
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,804
Well, that broke the ice.
217
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:25,202
Now any man who lives till noon
tomorrow shall win his freedom.
218
00:11:25,280 --> 00:11:26,486
Excuse me.
219
00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:28,324
What gives you the legal
right to do this?
220
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,528
You tell me.
You're my lawyer.
221
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,090
Well, I guess you
are zoned for hunting,
222
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,128
and you have
previously claimed
223
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,123
killing people as
part of your religion.
224
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:38,687
I think I can
draw something up.
225
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,047
(TYPEWRITER DINGS)
There.
226
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,361
This should hold up in
just about any courtroom.
227
00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:44,851
Excellent.
228
00:11:46,120 --> 00:11:47,121
(ALL SHOUTING)
229
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,087
The game is afoot.
(SNIFFS)
230
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:54,446
I smell fear.
231
00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,564
Mixed with curry.
232
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:57,841
APU: Uh-oh.
233
00:11:58,560 --> 00:11:59,561
Aah!
234
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:03,328
You got me! But I shall
be reincarnated. (GROANS)
235
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,047
Ha-ha!
236
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,003
You can't kill a Hindu!
237
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,603
Aah! Help me, Jesus!
238
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:11,091
(WHIMPERING)
239
00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,171
ANNOUNCER: You're watching The
World Series of Manslaughter.
240
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:20,046
The most violent TV spectacle
since the Hip Hop Image Awards.
241
00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,851
Mom, Mr. Burns
is gonna kill Dad!
242
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,889
I should've known
something was wrong
243
00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:26,928
when we got this
week's TV guide.
244
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:28,321
(LISA GASPS)
245
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,651
Now for his take on tonight's
bloodthirsty action,
246
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,246
here's guest analyst
Terry Bradshaw. Terry?
247
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:38,803
Well, conventional wisdom says good
fleeing will always beat good chasing.
248
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:43,044
But the stats say put your
money on the guy with the gun.
249
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,207
(SCREAMING)
250
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:45,681
(GRUNTS)
251
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:49,728
Dying is just like golfing,
except in golf... (GUNSHOTS)
252
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,891
Aww! You hate to see that.
253
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:58,050
That's the kind of showboating that'll
turn people off this sport.
254
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,206
Hey, hey, Homer. Burns is coming.
Climb up.
255
00:13:03,560 --> 00:13:04,561
(GRUNTING)
256
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,684
Oh, you fat ass!
(ALL SCREAMING)
257
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:14,602
Na-na! You missed me!
258
00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:15,681
(GROANS)
259
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,249
Well, before I die,
260
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,891
I'll just scratch that lottery
ticket I got in my pocket.
261
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,651
"Instant jackpot,
one million dollars!"
262
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:26,802
If I make it out alive,
I could...
263
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:27,961
(YELLS)
264
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,320
Homer, Burns has only been
chasing us for six hours,
265
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,402
and you've already
resorted to cannibalism.
266
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:40,084
And there's bananas
in that tree up there.
267
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,924
Uh, they look a little green.
268
00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:50,244
Carl, I see heaven.
269
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:52,963
What does it look like?
270
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:57,047
ALL: Hurry up, Lenny. We'll be
late for work at the plant.
271
00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:58,685
(SIGHS AND GROANS)
272
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:05,410
You can't escape me, Simpson.
You are not smart enough.
273
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:08,927
HOMER: Yes, l am! I mean...
(MAKING ANIMAL NOISES)
274
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:17,003
Oh, no! I've been killed!
275
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,649
Outfoxed him with the
corpse of my best friend.
276
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:22,846
Hee-hee!
277
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,001
(GRUNTS)
278
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,611
(MR. BURNS COCKING GUN)
Ahh!
279
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,321
Is there room in
the head bag, Smithers?
280
00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:32,770
I can make room.
281
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:34,330
Excellent.
282
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:37,321
(LOUD THUD)
283
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,130
Done, and done!
284
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,482
Marge, you saved me!
285
00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:46,961
D'oh! What was that for?
286
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:50,487
Staying out 18 hours
and not calling home once!
287
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,722
Oh, I can't stay mad at you
288
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:56,088
when that pan smells like
sausage and onions. Mmm...
289
00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,162
And I am glad
you're okay.
290
00:14:58,520 --> 00:14:59,521
(MOANING)
291
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:06,249
All right.
And there you have it.
292
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,369
Terry Bradshaw, your thoughts
on what just transpired.
293
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:10,885
Well, it's a disgrace,
Roger.
294
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:13,247
This network will show
a dozen gruesome murders
295
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,765
but I bet they
cut to commercial
296
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:17,730
before these two begin
the tender act of love.
297
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,001
(BOTH MOANING)
298
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:23,166
I spoke too soon, huh?
There they go!
299
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,402
Whoa!
That's going in my playbook.
300
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:43,287
Oh. Everyone's wearing
such an interesting costume.
301
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,967
Look, Grampa's a gorilla,
Sideshow Mel is Spider-Man,
302
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:48,690
and Nelson's a raccoon.
303
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,485
I'm not a raccoon!
I'm the Lone Ranger!
304
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:53,728
I'm too poor to
afford the hat.
305
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,361
That's not even a mask.
It's axle grease.
306
00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:57,930
Don't listen
to him, Silver.
307
00:15:58,360 --> 00:15:59,691
(IMITATES HORSE NEIGHING)
308
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,045
And now the finalists
for Best Costume.
309
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,611
First, we have Blacula.
310
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:08,480
Oh, because I'm black and I'm
Dracula, that makes me Blacula?
311
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,161
(SCOFFS) My wife said,
"Don't go as Dracula,"
312
00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,965
but I said, "Bernice, we
live in the 21 st century."
313
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,008
Send him the standard
racist remark apology.
314
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,246
They're in
the middle drawer.
315
00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:19,926
Our other finalist
is this hideous witch.
316
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:21,361
(CACKLING)
317
00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:26,121
(ALL CHEERING)
318
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:32,244
Congratulations, you have won
this $25 Kwik-E-Mart certificate.
319
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:33,401
Sucker.
320
00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,564
Twenty-five bucks won't buy
you half a Balance Bar.
321
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:39,286
I exaggerate, but really,
my prices are very high.
322
00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,089
Thank you!
Wait!
323
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:42,685
Before you leave,
we'd all like to know
324
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:46,048
which of our beloved regulars
you are under that costume.
325
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:49,363
Lindsay Naegle? Helen Lovejoy?
Old Jewish Man?
326
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,330
No. I'm right here, dressed
as my brother Irving.
327
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,088
(SIGHS) Every day I miss him.
328
00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:56,241
(LAUGHS)
329
00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:01,290
This is a little awkward because
I'm not wearing a costume.
330
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:02,726
I'm a real witch.
331
00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,849
(ALL GASP) Wait a minute.
That's cheating!
332
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:07,769
Burn her...
333
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:09,166
Gift certificate!
334
00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:11,644
Since you are not
technically in costume,
335
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,040
you cannot
win this award!
336
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:17,490
Rescind my award, will you?
You're all gonna pay!
337
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,371
Taint of mute
and scum of pond,
338
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,330
thou shalt become
the guise thou donned!
339
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,721
(ALL MURMURING)
Speak English, moron.
340
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,088
I'm turning you
into your costumes.
341
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:33,965
Well, are you gonna talk about
it or are you gonna do it?
342
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:38,521
(EXCLAIMS)
343
00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:46,085
(HORSE NEIGHING)
Whoa!
344
00:17:49,720 --> 00:17:52,644
I'm not a raccoon!
I'm the Lone Ranger!
345
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,207
Ooh!
346
00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:59,046
Disco Stu wishes he'd
gone as Marilyn McCoo!
347
00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:02,489
(MUTTERING)
348
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,849
Good luck getting your deposits
back on those costumes!
349
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,240
(ALL PROTESTING)
350
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,368
Seymour, I told you
not to go as G.I. Joe!
351
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,363
Mother, I'm fine. I...
352
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:16,567
Uh-oh.
353
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:20,565
Oh, this isn't fair.
I wasn't wearing a costume.
354
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:24,362
Look at me! I'm a young,
strappin' gorilla!
355
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,681
Ow! My hip, it's shattered.
Somebody help me.
356
00:18:30,560 --> 00:18:33,564
Off we go to
the gorilla hospital.
357
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,804
ABE: That's it,
suck out the poison.
358
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:39,120
Wait a minute.
359
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,725
(ABE SCREAMS)
360
00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:45,641
(HOWLING)
361
00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:51,050
I am not a happy
meal right now.
362
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,888
I'm telling you, I'm Oberon,
king of the fairies!
363
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:58,084
You're a big fat bug!
And you're going down!
364
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,606
(CAT WHINING)
365
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,127
(GROANS) My spine is not a
scratching post! (MEOWS)
366
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:10,046
(IN GERMAN ACCENT) Oh! There must be
some way out of this verdammten spell.
367
00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:12,487
Lisa, you think you could
check on your father?
368
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:17,771
Oh! That's an excellent use of a genius
brain, to look after an idiot head.
369
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,165
(GRUNTS IN FRUSTRATION)
370
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:23,441
Uh!
371
00:19:24,840 --> 00:19:25,841
Uh!
372
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:28,801
Dammit!
373
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,288
(GASPS) That's the answer!
374
00:19:40,360 --> 00:19:44,684
Maggie's a real witch now.
She can reverse the spell!
375
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,001
(GROWLS) I don't want
to reverse the spell.
376
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,407
I can howl at the moon and eat rats.
(SQUEAKS)
377
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:51,971
(HOWLING)
378
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:53,366
(CRASHING)
379
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:55,329
I don't want
to change, either.
380
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:57,243
Now I can pull
horses out of the mud.
381
00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:58,890
Then girls will like me.
382
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:00,803
And I'm Jared
from the Subway ads.
383
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:03,963
I'm only a little overweight
and sexually ambiguous.
384
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:06,247
Don't listen to them, Maggie.
385
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:07,640
Maggie?
386
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,041
Please change me back.
387
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:14,249
This bumblebee has developed an
unhealthy obsession with me.
388
00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,171
I don't want flowers!
I am a flower!
389
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:20,164
As for Apu-D2,
I could go either way.
390
00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:23,284
(IMITATES WHIRRING)
Click, click, oink.
391
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:25,562
HOMER: Please change...
(ALL TALKING AT ONCE)
392
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:41,607
Oh, well. This still
beats being Moe.
393
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:45,484
Okay, this concludes
this year's Halloween show.
394
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:48,370
We hope you had as much
fun watching our show
395
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,169
as the Koreans
did animating it.
396
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,609
But there's one group for
whom every day is Halloween.
397
00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,808
I'm talking about
adult illiterates.
398
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,486
For them, trying to read
the morning newspaper
399
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:02,281
is more terrifying than any
goblin, ghoul, spook, or spirit.
400
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,131
So won't you please donate a
children's book or something?
401
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:07,681
Together we can make
reading a slam dunk.
402
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:10,002
Dennis Rodman?
What are you doing here?
403
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:11,491
Working off
a speeding ticket.
404
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:16,808
Happy Halloween, everybody!
Ripped By mstoll