1
00:00:03,160 --> 00:00:06,562
(SINGING) The Simpsons
2
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:07,641
(TIRES SCREECHING)
3
00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:10,361
D'oh!
4
00:00:10,440 --> 00:00:11,487
(SCREAMS)
5
00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:12,721
(TIRES SCREECHING)
6
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:17,529
(GROWLS)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Ripped By mstoll
7
00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:20,249
(SCREAMING CONTINUES)
8
00:00:20,760 --> 00:00:21,761
(GROANS)
9
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(BOTH SCREAMING)
10
00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:26,566
(WHIMPERING)
11
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:29,087
Uh...
12
00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:31,242
(BEEPING)
(SCREAMS)
13
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,366
(BOTTLE SHATTERS)
14
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(GRUNTS)
15
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(PANTING)
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(SIGHS)
17
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Hmm?
18
00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,131
(SCREAMS)
19
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:10,050
I'm so glad we came
to Paradise Pier.
20
00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:11,724
Ever since
I was a little girl,
21
00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,127
I've wanted to ride
that Ferris wheel.
22
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(ALL SCREAMING)
23
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They're tearing down
the pier!
24
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But what will junkies
do drugs under?
25
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They'll bounce back, son.
They're a strong people.
26
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(HAMMERING)
27
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(CREAKING)
28
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(CHUCKLING)
29
00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:40,689
Ooh, ooh! I want to ride
the bumper cars.
30
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Whoa, sir, we're dismantling this ride.
It's not safe.
31
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I call the red one.
32
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(LAUGHING EXCITEDLY)
33
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Homie, no!
It's not street legal!
34
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Don't worry, ma'am.
He's not connected
35
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to the power supply,
so he can't go far.
36
00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:01,283
(CHUCKLES) Gulp.
37
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(CHUCKLES) Whee!
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
38
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Whoa, whoa!
39
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(GIGGLES)
40
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Hey. Hey. Hey.
41
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Oh, he's got us
in a corner.
42
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I hate this ride.
43
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(CLATTERS)
44
00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,727
Mom, can we buy a
magnesium vapor soak tub?
45
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For the last time, no!
(GROANS)
46
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But how will I increase
my vitality?
47
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(GRUMBLING)
48
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:44,685
Uh, he’s just faking loss
of vitality, Reverend.
49
00:02:44,760 --> 00:02:47,127
Mmm-hmm. I believe you.
50
00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:52,727
A strong man?
Are you for sale?
51
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:54,962
Because I need someone to throw
a birdbath at my neighbor.
52
00:02:55,040 --> 00:02:59,568
Robusto is not for sale. But would
you like to buy my last dumbbell?
53
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:03,123
Hmm, I suppose I could
use a little toning.
54
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,406
(JIGGLING)
55
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I'll give you $5 for it.
56
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Sold!
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(GASPS)
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A bicycle built for two!
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00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:18,165
And I could be
one of those two.
60
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:22,484
Homie, if I buy
a bicycle built for two,
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00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:24,050
will you ride with me?
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00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,566
Marge, I don't hate
your mother.
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00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:29,007
I just won't be sad
when she dies.
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00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,206
Forty-seven, forty-eight...
65
00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,362
I was asking for something.
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00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,766
Yeah, sure.
Whatever you want.
67
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:37,322
Ninety-five, 96, 13, 64,
banana...
68
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:40,131
I'll take it.
69
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:44,611
I can't believe
I own a tandem bike.
70
00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:47,441
Mmm-mmm!
71
00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:51,841
You want me to ride
a what-cycle built for who?
72
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,088
Our tandem bicycle.
73
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When I bought it,
you said you'd ride with me.
74
00:03:56,040 --> 00:04:01,922
But I'm watching television. A lot
of people worked hard on this show.
75
00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,084
(SIGHS) I was really
looking forward lo it.
76
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:09,085
Bart, how would you like to go on
a tandem bike ride with your mom?
77
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,606
Mom, please!
I'm playing a video game.
78
00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:14,081
Mmm, small hill.
Pedal, pedal, pedal.
79
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:17,084
Now enjoy scenery.
Enjoy! Enjoy! Enjoy!
80
00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:18,207
(SIGHS)
81
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,482
Maggie, would you like
to ride with me?
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00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:26,001
(SIGHS) on...
83
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,127
(SLURPING)
84
00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:50,964
Bart, why is your
mom riding
85
00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,122
a two-person bike
by herself?
86
00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:55,561
Ha-ha! She's lonely.
87
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:56,880
Moms don't get lonely.
88
00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:03,401
Hmm...
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00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:06,849
Three hundred and six...
90
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,287
(YAWNS)
91
00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,927
Three hundred and seven...
(BICYCLE BELL RINGING)
92
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:13,442
(MUTTERING)
(BICYCLE BELL RINGING)
93
00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,649
Hey, Mom!
Want to go for a ride?
94
00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:20,927
I'd love to.
I'll be right...
95
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,001
Wait.
96
00:05:22,080 --> 00:05:23,605
Are you sure
you're not just trying
97
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:25,569
to get me to make
pizza for breakfast?
98
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:27,483
HOMER: Woo-hoo!
Pizza for breakfast!
99
00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,325
Mom, I mean it.
I want to ride with you.
100
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:31,441
Aww.
101
00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:33,170
I'll be right down.
102
00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:36,005
Hello, Dominos? What do
you mean you're not open?
103
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,129
No, you call me back
during business hours.
104
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,680
I'll show you who's
a recorded message!
105
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:47,650
Puddle!
(BOTH LAUGH)
106
00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:51,131
I'm glad I could share
in their fun.
107
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:56,004
(SINGING) Well, I heard
Neil Young sing about her
108
00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:00,566
I heard ol' Neil
put her down
109
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In the name of the...
110
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ALL: Hey!
111
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:05,691
Well, I hope
Neil Young will remember
112
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(CHOKES)
113
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This southern man
don't need him 'round anyhow
114
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Mom, who's Neil Young?
115
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:17,964
He was a singer in the '60s, like
the Archies, and the Banana Splits.
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(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
117
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(OWL HOOTING)
118
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I'm a little worried. This part
of the county is unincorporated.
119
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Just to be safe, I'm gonna
dial 9-1 on my cell phone.
120
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(BEEPS)
121
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A tea house?
122
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Want to go inside?
I don't know.
123
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Think they have video games?
Mmm, no.
124
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:45,651
Batting case?
No.
125
00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:47,404
Rock climbing wall?
No.
126
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:49,403
Robot musical review?
No.
127
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:51,562
Zumanity by Cirque du Soleil?
No.
128
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:52,920
Bathroom?
Yes!
129
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,651
Well, that's really what I
need the most. Let's go.
130
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Mmm. Mmm-mmm-mmm.
131
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Wow, Mom! I love tea.
132
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You haven't had any tea.
133
00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:08,766
Yeah. Well, I still
love this place.
134
00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:10,922
Good afternoon, madam.
135
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,571
Oh, and who's your
handsome gentleman friend?
136
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(CHUCKLES)
137
00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:16,680
Oh, you.
138
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:18,801
(HUMMING)
139
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(ALL STRUGGLING)
140
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:23,601
Don't do that
That hurts.
141
00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:24,681
Careful, careful.
142
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,604
Hey, what's the big idea getting
trapped under that thing?
143
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:28,806
Uh, long story.
144
00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:30,530
Uh, we were trying to
impress some girls
145
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,443
and things kind of got away from us.
(CHUCKLES)
146
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,329
Just for the record,
I regret nothing.
147
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,170
(GRUNTS)
148
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:40,011
Homer, how'd your
right arm get so strong?
149
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:41,684
Just lifting this dumbbell.
150
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:45,606
49,999, 50,000!
(CHUCKLES)
151
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,966
I'm pretty happy with this baby.
Now it's lefty's turn.
152
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,691
Oh, no, you don't.
I just got an idea.
153
00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:53,761
Listen.
Huh?
154
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,888
(WHISPERS)
(CHUCKLES)
155
00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,162
(ANGRILY)
Hey, you... Huh?
156
00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,364
What? Hey...
157
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:01,441
Uh!
158
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,041
(ANGRILY) Why...
159
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,447
Ah.
160
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:05,521
Yeah.
161
00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:11,887
Mom, all we have is carrot
sticks and fresh fruit.
162
00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:15,203
Well, we could bike lo the
teashop and have some cake.
163
00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:17,089
All right!
Pedal to the kettle!
164
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,481
Hey, Bart. They're
testing me for lazy eye.
165
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:20,726
You want to come with?
166
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,001
Hmm?
167
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,162
Oh, sorry, Milhouse.
I've got plans.
168
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:27,926
Okay. I'll bring you back
an eye care pamphlet.
169
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:32,164
Okay, here comes our victim.
Let's bash his head in.
170
00:08:32,280 --> 00:08:34,681
Hey, Moe, I thought you
were just gonna hustle him?
171
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:37,331
Oh, right. I was thinking
of another thing I got going.
172
00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:47,447
Give me a bottle of bourbon. I got a
new liver and I'm breaking it in.
173
00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,606
Excuse me,
Mr. Bartender, sir.
174
00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:53,365
May I have a sugar-free
ginger ale?
175
00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:57,047
And, uh, make it flat,
the bubbles burn my buds.
176
00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:01,728
Galdurnit, son. What the
hell kind of sissy are you?
177
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,041
Hey, are you calling
my life partner a sissy?
178
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,771
Because 100 bucks says he could
whoop you in arm wrestling.
179
00:09:06,840 --> 00:09:09,411
A Texas penny it is.
180
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:10,641
Yee-haw!
181
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:13,891
Galdangit!
182
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,884
I've been played
like a dimwit's kazoo!
183
00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:18,764
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS)
184
00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,971
Yes! Homer, we make
a dynamite team. Huh?
185
00:09:22,080 --> 00:09:25,243
With your arm and my head gunk,
we're going right to the top.
186
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:26,367
(GUNS COOKING)
Whoa!
187
00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:28,727
This is one
Texan who don't like
188
00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:31,087
when he's made
out to be a fool.
189
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:32,730
Well, uh, what do you like?
190
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:36,845
I don't know. A good book,
long walk on the beach.
191
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,801
So, we, uh... We kind of
even things up here?
192
00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,962
Not yet. l want to play
some Frisbee.
193
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,605
You know, honey,
I've really started
194
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:49,887
to look forward to
our little bike rides.
195
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,007
Me, too, Mother.
196
00:09:51,080 --> 00:09:52,491
Oh, such respect?
197
00:09:52,560 --> 00:09:54,767
You could grow up
to be a doorman.
198
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:03,488
WOMAN; Loyal customers, we have
been forced to close forever.
199
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:06,484
It seems our cakes were
filled with rat droppings.
200
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:08,483
It's not that
we're bad people,
201
00:10:08,560 --> 00:10:10,961
we just weren't
paying close attention.
202
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,280
Ta-ta.
203
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:13,841
What did it say?
204
00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:15,121
Uh...
205
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:16,361
She died.
206
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:17,881
Hmm?
207
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,568
Well, Bart,
I guess that's it.
208
00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,967
We'll have to go back
to our separate things.
209
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,361
Hey, we could have tea
in my tree house.
210
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:31,401
You invited me to
your tree house?
211
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,323
Wow!
212
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:36,483
That's like Bruce Wayne letting
his mother into the Bat Club.
213
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:39,441
(SLURPS)
214
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:42,401
Hmm.
215
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:47,043
So, is that standing water?
216
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,406
Yeah.
(BUZZING)
217
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:51,484
You know, that puddle started
life as a bowl of cereal.
218
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:52,886
(GROANS)
219
00:10:53,280 --> 00:10:54,520
Hmm.
220
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,605
I think I might be able
221
00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:59,729
to turn this tree house
into a teahouse.
222
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:05,047
Mom, this is great!
223
00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,122
Makes our real house
look like a pile of crap.
224
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:08,884
And l threw out
all your old comics.
225
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:09,961
Mom!
226
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:11,081
(CHUCKLES)
227
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:12,521
Just kidding.
228
00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,523
Today's mom knows
to seal them in Mylar
229
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:16,489
so you can never
read them again.
230
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,767
Never, ever again.
231
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:22,081
Where are you two going?
232
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,726
I'm joining a professional
arm wrestling circuit.
233
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:28,641
Uh-huh, and how will this affect
your job at the power plant?
234
00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:30,210
Negatively, I assume.
235
00:11:30,280 --> 00:11:32,851
Oh, well, we're off
to buy a new tea set.
236
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:35,287
Have fun.
237
00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:36,361
(CAR DOORS SHUT)
238
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:40,485
Jeez, she didn't seem
angry or anything.
239
00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:42,688
Maybe she doesn't care
anymore.
240
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,888
Forget about her, Homer.
She's dead to you now.
241
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:46,450
Okay.
242
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:47,726
Now, if we get bored
on the bus,
243
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,882
I got a book of
brainteasers here.
244
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:50,961
Let's see.
245
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:53,726
Oh! "Brothers and sisters
have I none,
246
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:57,407
"but this man's
father is my father's son."
247
00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:58,481
Huh.
248
00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:01,084
Ah, screw you,
you stupid thing!
249
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,450
"He is my son."
That blows.
250
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,050
I can't wait to use
251
00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:12,963
our new Krusty the
Clown tea service.
252
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:14,246
Me neither.
253
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,608
Oh, my God! I took the salesman's pen.
I'll be right back.
254
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:24,408
KRUSTY: Green tea? What's that,
Mr. T's Irish brother?
255
00:12:24,480 --> 00:12:25,481
(LAUGHS)
256
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:29,883
Earl Grey?
I'd rather have Linda Gray.
257
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,450
ls she still alive?
258
00:12:31,560 --> 00:12:34,006
What's next? What the hell,
I'm not doing that one.
259
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,447
(CHUCKLES) Huh?
JIMBO: Hey, Simpson.
260
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,251
What are you gonna do with that teapot?
Gay out?
261
00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,442
I'll answer for you. Yes.
262
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:42,521
What? Um...
263
00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:43,801
Uh...
264
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,723
I just shoplifted
this bad boy.
265
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:47,484
Housewares never
knew what hit 'em.
266
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:49,324
Why didn't you steal
something cool?
267
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:54,162
Uh, because I'm gonna bring it back
to the store for store credit.
268
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:57,289
How are you gonna get credit
without a gift receipt, ass?
269
00:12:57,360 --> 00:12:58,771
Um, well...
270
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:00,962
We've seen you hanging out
with your mom, Simpson.
271
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,805
Word on the street
is you're a mama's boy.
272
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:09,641
Hey! There is no way that
Bart Simpson is a mama's boy.
273
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,850
Oh, Bart!
Aren't they jazzy?
274
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:15,526
They match the new curtains
we hung in your tree house.
275
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:17,967
Here, try yours on.
276
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:19,644
I got you a child's
large because
277
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,404
your tummy's getting
kind of bloopy
278
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:23,164
from all the cakes
we've been having.
279
00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:26,204
Somebody here
likes princess cakes.
280
00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:27,645
Princess cake?
281
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:30,883
Bart, you just got yourself
a nickname for life.
282
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:34,123
Hey, Princess Cake,
want some princess cake?
283
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:35,281
(ALL LAUGHING)
284
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:37,642
Bart, are you having a fight
with your boyfriends?
285
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,326
Shut up! I don't want
your stupid sweatshirt!
286
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:42,608
(GASPS)
Or your tea set!
287
00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:43,761
(GRUNTS)
288
00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:46,367
KRUSTY: Smashing voids my warranty.
Have a good life.
289
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:50,764
Mom, I only hung out with you
because I felt sorry for you.
290
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:54,325
That was weird.
291
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:55,640
Will you teach us
how to smoke?
292
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:56,721
No!
293
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,287
(BART GRUNTING)
294
00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,765
I can't believe she suckered
me into being a mama's boy.
295
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:08,968
I got to make this
place mine again.
296
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:10,520
(GRUNTS)
(CHIPS CRUNCHING)
297
00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:12,446
(GROANS)
298
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,404
It's gonna take me weeks to
get the booger wall back up.
299
00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:18,641
Bart?
300
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:19,801
You're not allowed in here!
301
00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:21,888
Can't you read the sign?
You mean this?
302
00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,440
BART: Ay, caramba!
(GRUNTS)
303
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:28,121
I'm worried about Mom.
304
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:31,684
She's been sitting there just
petting the dog for two hours.
305
00:14:33,960 --> 00:14:34,961
(YELPS)
306
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:37,767
(WHIMPERS)
307
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:06,561
Hey, Mom.
308
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:11,325
Hello, Bart. Just so you
know, I sold our bike.
309
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,607
Faster! Faster!
(BOTH GRUNTING)
310
00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,686
(BOTH SCREAM)
Uh-oh.
311
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,207
(ALL SCREAMING)
312
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:19,602
But we had so much
fun on that bike.
313
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:20,727
(SCREAMS)
314
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,685
Mom, I really did like
hanging out with you.
315
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,001
(SIGHS) Hmm.
316
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:33,211
You know, there's a karaoke
night at school tomorrow.
317
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:37,444
Some of the little kids are bringing
their parents. Do you want to go?
318
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,921
Really? Can we do a duet?
319
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:42,611
Sure, why not?
(CHUCKLES)
320
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:43,966
It'll be fun.
321
00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:45,644
It's still happening!
322
00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:49,885
(MEN GRUNTING)
323
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:55,926
Oh, I can't believe Marge hasn't called me.
Maybe I should go home.
324
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,126
Oh, Marge called you.
325
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,089
She said, uh,
that she loves you
326
00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:00,844
and she hopes you
break the guy's arm
327
00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,684
so hard that it pokes through his skin.
(CHUCKLES)
328
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,046
Did she say anything else?
329
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:05,531
Yeah. She said
to shut up and stop
330
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:07,125
asking questions
and listen to Moe.
331
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,847
Oh, Marge.
I love her so much.
332
00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:12,127
Now, Homer, you got to keep your
head in the game, all right?
333
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:15,323
Your first opponent is Leftie
"The Righty" Leftwright.
334
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:18,561
(GRUNTS)
335
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:20,365
Whoa. He looks tough.
336
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:23,523
Yeah. He only lost once, in
his fight against illiteracy.
337
00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:27,127
I can relate. I fought that
foe and lost many times.
338
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,561
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
339
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,809
Oh, Marge isn't home.
340
00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:36,041
Homer, focus.
341
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,202
Moe, I'm starting
to have grave doubts
342
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,806
about this thing I barely
liked in the first place.
343
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:41,847
Come on, Homer.
344
00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:43,843
We can make it all the way
to the quarter-finals
345
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:47,766
for the eastern division, class
B over 35 amateur grouping!
346
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,162
Sorry, Moe. The place for
my arm is around my wife.
347
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:52,247
(BONE CRACKS)
(GROANS)
348
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:53,401
Homer, come back.
349
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,086
You've got my teeth whitening
system in your suitcase.
350
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:01,410
Let's see. What would be
a good duet? Hmm.
351
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:05,286
Just the Two of Us,
You and Me Against the World,
352
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:06,521
Ebony and Ivory...
353
00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:08,090
Ebony and Ivory?
(CHUCKLES)
354
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:11,164
I'm afraid that song's
taken by me and my mother.
355
00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:15,131
You know, people say when we're on
stage, it's more like "scary-oke."
356
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,850
Uh, scary talented,
I assume.
357
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,082
I'm singing a song
with Bart tonight.
358
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,640
Capital! My mother and I
have been performing together
359
00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:24,929
since l was in fourth grade, and
it's really brought us closer.
360
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:29,528
Seymour! Where were you? A
brightly-colored car hurt my eyes.
361
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:31,329
Don't worry, Mother.
I have your eye balm
362
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:33,687
in my man-purse
right here.
363
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,881
Good boy. You can push your
crib into Mommy's room tonight.
364
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,247
It's not a crib. It's a cot.
365
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,891
If it has rails,
it's a crib!
366
00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:44,806
(GROANS)
367
00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:50,682
(SINGING)
Where is my John Wayne?
368
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,841
Where is my prairie sun?
369
00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:58,049
Where is my happy ending?
370
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:01,841
Where have all
the cowboys gone?
371
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,604
(VOCALIZING)
372
00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:08,486
(EXHALES) Whew!
373
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:11,040
You know, Mother,
I wasn't sure about tonight.
374
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:14,403
But seeing us dressed the same
really feels right. (BELLS JINGLING)
375
00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:17,768
Well, now I'm not so sure about
the bells on the painters pants.
376
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:20,207
Are you kidding?
I love my tinklies!
377
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:21,327
(BELLS JINGLE)
378
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:22,646
(GROANS)
379
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:27,563
Next up on the Springfield
Elementary Karaoke Showcase is
380
00:18:27,640 --> 00:18:31,201
Skinner and Mrs. Skinner!
381
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:32,771
(SCATTERED CLAPPING)
382
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:40,722
(SINGING)
Ebony and Ivory
383
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:46,204
Live together in
perfect harmony
384
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:47,960
(BOTH SINGING)
Side by side
385
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:51,408
on my piano keyboard
(GASPS)
386
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:56,282
Oh, Lord, why don't we?
387
00:18:57,080 --> 00:18:59,651
No!
388
00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:02,969
Stop the showcase!
389
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,810
Mrs. Simpson, please!
390
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:09,521
Uh, hush up, Seymour. She's just
saying what we're all thinking.
391
00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:11,204
Mother,
what are you doing?
392
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,965
Don't call me "Mother."
My name is Mom.
393
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,691
And my son
is no mama's boy!
394
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:17,801
(AUDIENCE GASPS)
395
00:19:18,400 --> 00:19:20,607
Bart, you're a wild
heck-raiser
396
00:19:20,720 --> 00:19:22,961
and I don't want to
see you turn into that!
397
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:24,007
What? A wall?
398
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,401
Mom, l thought this
was what you wanted.
399
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,847
Your job isn't
to worry about me.
400
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:31,287
It's to give me things
to worry about.
401
00:19:33,120 --> 00:19:34,121
Hmm...
402
00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:36,601
Hey, losers.
403
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:40,162
I'm gonna do to you
what you did to these songs.
404
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,770
Interpret them artistically?
405
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:42,967
(GRUNTS)
406
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:46,489
Die, die, die!
407
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:47,761
(ALL COUGHING)
408
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,401
We were gonna sing
My Sharona.
409
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:52,804
(GIGGLES)
410
00:19:56,040 --> 00:19:59,362
(SINGING)
Sweet Home Alabama
411
00:20:01,080 --> 00:20:04,448
Where the skies are so blue
412
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,122
Sweet home Alabama
413
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,201
(GASPS)
414
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,645
Lord, I'm coming home to you
415
00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:14,761
Alabama!
416
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:19,322
Marge, spending time with
you is more important to me
417
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:22,483
than all the pie-eating
contests in the world.
418
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,483
I thought it was
arm wrestling.
419
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:26,562
I was in a pie-eating
contest on the way home.
420
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:28,210
Now let's go to bed.
421
00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:36,483
(ALL SINGING) Oh, my little
pretty one, my pretty one
422
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:39,723
When you gonna give me
some time, Sharona?
423
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:43,083
Ooh, you make my motor run,
my motor run
424
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,323
Gun it coming off the line,
Sharona
425
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,323
Never gonna stop,
give it up
426
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:50,971
Such a dirty mind,
always get it up
427
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,008
For the touch of
the younger kind
428
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:56,289
My, my, my, my, my, whoo
429
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:57,927
ALL: Whoa!
430
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,889
HOMER: That song
is a pop music footnote.
431
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:02,610
I didn't say stop.
432
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:08,648
(ALL SINGING)
My, my, my, my Sharona
Ripped By mstoll