1
00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:06,243
(SINGING) The Simpsons
2
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:07,441
(TIRES SCREECHING)
3
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:10,281
D'oh!
4
00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:13,761
(SCREAMS)
Ripped By mstoll
5
00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:31,323
Children, we have a special
treat today. Willie!
6
00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:33,124
(CHILDREN CHEERING)
7
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(ALL GROANING)
8
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(ALL GASPING)
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00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:42,085
(ALL GROANING)
10
00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:45,045
WOMAN;
Welcome to Diversity Tales.
11
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,486
(ALL GROANING)
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00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:49,121
Enjoy your
multicultural hooey!
13
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:50,406
(LAUGHS)
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WOMAN: It was the
Feast of the Sea Lion
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Who Would Not Share.
16
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:58,169
Come, Brother Titi. Let us
collect cha-cha sticks.
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00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,083
I will make a headdress
for the wedding
18
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:02,043
of Earth Turtle
and Moon Mongoose.
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00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:03,884
You don't need
a headdress.
20
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,322
Your most beautiful costume
is your self-esteem.
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00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:11,082
(WOMAN READING)
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00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:12,571
What is this crap?
23
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:14,927
This is worse than
Wheelchair-Nocchio.
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00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,604
Yeah? Well, if you
don't like the movie,
25
00:01:16,720 --> 00:01:18,484
feel free to stare out the window.
(LAUGHS)
26
00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:20,441
(CAR POPS)
27
00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:24,767
Hey, crypt keeper, I like
your Dodge Scare-a-van!
28
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:26,086
(ALL LAUGH)
29
00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:28,686
How dare you mock
my mobile-a-mobile?
30
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It was the first
car to outrun a man.
31
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A caveman!
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00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:34,365
(ALL LAUGHING)
33
00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:37,644
I thought of that because I
slept in a cave last night.
34
00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:38,960
(HUFFS) Of all the...
35
00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:43,443
I will not be lampooned by school children!
Kill them, Smithers!
36
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,807
Uh, you could just
buy a new car, sir.
37
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,291
Well, whatever's easier.
38
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:51,046
A new car? May I
suggest an Oldsmobile?
39
00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:54,924
Mr. Bums sucks!
40
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(LAUGHING)
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00:01:57,160 --> 00:02:00,642
I won't forget who mocked me!
I'm taking your picture!
42
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:04,281
Now hold perfectly
still for 78 minutes.
43
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,365
(SNORING)
44
00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,769
(HOMER HUMMING)
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Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo!
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Simpson!
Charge!
47
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I mean, yes, sir?
48
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:21,491
I just bought a new car.
49
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:22,800
A nice foreign number.
50
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,850
The Lamborgotti Fasterossa.
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00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:28,161
A Lamborgotti Fasterossa?
52
00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:31,244
That's the car I think about
when I make love to my wife.
53
00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:34,324
Yes. I need you to pick up my
car at the factory in Italy
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00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,084
and ship it
directly back to me.
55
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I'll save thousands
in taxes.
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00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:39,007
You're sending me to Italy?
57
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:40,127
Yes.
58
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,009
Can I take my family?
Sure.
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00:02:42,080 --> 00:02:43,206
Do I have to
hang outwith them?
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00:02:43,280 --> 00:02:44,566
It would be nice.
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00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:46,729
(GROANS)
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00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:48,921
Oh.
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00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,006
Mmm? (STRUGGLES)
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00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:57,851
Hey, that guy in first class is
taking a TV out of his armrest.
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00:02:57,920 --> 00:02:59,126
What's in you?
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00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,401
(GRUNTS AND GROANS)
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00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,209
A bunch of stupid cables.
68
00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:03,361
(GRUNTS)
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00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:12,610
Hey, Brandine! The kids
just got a new playhouse!
70
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:17,971
Cletus, you are the most wonderful
husband and son I ever had.
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00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:23,681
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
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00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:28,166
What's with the Canadian
flag on your backpack?
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00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:31,602
Well, some people in Europe
have the impression
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00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:36,208
that America has made some stupid
choices in the past, oh, five years.
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00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,527
So for the next week,
I'm from Canada.
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00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,364
Uh, I think Dad may
blow your cover.
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00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:43,046
That flag is mine!
Don't mess with Texas!
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00:03:43,200 --> 00:03:45,601
Shock and awe, losers!
Shock and awe!
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00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:51,048
Your car, she's coming
off the assembly line.
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00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,404
(MACHINE WHIRRING)
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00:03:56,920 --> 00:04:01,244
This car is the ultimate marriage
of design and technology.
82
00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:03,482
Ooh, marriage!
83
00:04:03,560 --> 00:04:05,688
Now we have to drive
it straight to Rome
84
00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:07,842
where it will be shipped to Mr.
Burns in Springfield.
85
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,810
Gee, I wish we could explore
a little more of Italy.
86
00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:14,441
Marge, are you encouraging
me to be irresponsible?
87
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,967
Why don't you encourage him to
get us some health insurance?
88
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:19,451
Why you little... (GRUNTS)
(CHOKES)
89
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:22,961
(BOTH CHOKING)
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00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,206
Ow! D'oh!
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00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:27,481
(GRUNTING)
92
00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:30,761
(BOTH GROANING)
93
00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,282
So, first time in Italy?
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00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,128
HOMER: Wow.
I've seen photos of this.
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00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,602
But you can't really experience
it until you're here!
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00:04:42,680 --> 00:04:45,729
A McDonald's where
you can get booze!
97
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:47,041
(GULPING)
98
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,326
Dad, don't you want to turn
around and see the tower?
99
00:04:50,600 --> 00:04:52,807
Eh, there's a picture
of it on my cup.
100
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,690
When Mount Vesuvius
erupted,
101
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,889
people were overcome
by volcanic ash so fast
102
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:02,122
that they were frozen in
whatever position they were in
103
00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:03,565
at the moment
of their death.
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00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,001
Savages.
105
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:09,605
We've passed the Ponte
Vecchio Bridge three times.
106
00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:10,761
I think we're lost.
107
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:12,922
Let me check the navigation system.
(CLICKS)
108
00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,485
Says here we should turn left
109
00:05:14,560 --> 00:05:17,325
at a fat chick in a tutu
being fed by a midget.
110
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:19,880
That's a DVD of
a Fellini movie.
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00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,325
(CARNIVAL MUSIC PLAYING)
112
00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:25,364
I get it. The midget
represents dwarves.
113
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:26,441
Dad, cheese truck!
114
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:28,527
(ALL SCREAMING)
115
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:31,724
(GASPS) Mozzarella!
Parmigiano! Provolone!
116
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,406
Pecorino! Gorgonzola!
Fontina!
117
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:36,522
Taleggio! Bocconcini!
118
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:38,407
(CLATTERS)
119
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,568
(ALL SCREAM)
LISA: Mortadella!
120
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:43,201
(CRASHES)
121
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:46,522
Don't worry. We got
the cheese insurance.
122
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,204
It doesn't cover
mortadella.
123
00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:50,123
(GROANS) No!
124
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:52,851
(ALL GRUNTING)
125
00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,091
Stupid Italy! I wish
you'd never been unified
126
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,208
by Victor Emmanuel ll!
127
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:01,762
If only you'd stayed a loose
confederation of city states
128
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,451
trading with each other
and occasionally warring.
129
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,646
Maybe there's a mechanic
in this Tuscan village.
130
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,131
(LIQUID SPLASHING)
131
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,842
Hey, do you know anything about
fixing sports cars? Scusi?
132
00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:16,646
It's a Lamborgotti
Fasterossa XT 550
133
00:06:16,720 --> 00:06:19,087
with ABS
Sport Tech Package!
134
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:20,407
(SIGHS)
135
00:06:20,640 --> 00:06:21,687
Americano?
136
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:24,525
Americana? What the hell
could that mean?
137
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,251
Why can't you people learn
to speak my language?
138
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,607
I learned to eat your food!
139
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:32,886
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
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00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,367
Hey, she says the mayor
speaks English.
141
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,761
I honor you
and your country.
142
00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:40,767
(GASPS)
143
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:43,163
"Kentucky"?
In Italian
144
00:06:43,240 --> 00:06:45,720
this means "whore!"
(GRUNTS)
145
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:51,167
Excuse me, Mr. Mayor? They
say you speak English.
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00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:53,165
Indeed I do.
147
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,405
ALL: Sideshow Bob!
148
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:56,720
(GASPS) The Simpsons!
149
00:06:56,840 --> 00:06:57,966
(ALL SCREAMING TOGETHER)
150
00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:02,766
BART: Sideshow Bob?
151
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:07,209
Of all the regioni in all the
villaggi in all of Italia,
152
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,250
you had to be
I! mayors of this one!
153
00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,891
I can assure you I'm as sorry to
see you as you are to see me.
154
00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:14,121
How did you wind up here?
155
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,850
Yes. Tell us your story.
156
00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:17,888
But ii better have a beginning,
a middle, and an end.
157
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:21,009
And you'd better make us
root for the protagonist!
158
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:25,041
My tale begins after I had once
again attempted to murder Bart.
159
00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,009
Okay. So far
I'm rooting for you.
160
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,768
I needed a fresh start,
but where?
161
00:07:41,160 --> 00:07:43,970
Not in this lifetime!
162
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,201
Damn it!
163
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:49,361
Never!
164
00:07:50,560 --> 00:07:52,130
Now cut that out!
165
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:59,321
Ah, Tuscany. Fortune is
finally smiling upon me.
166
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,563
(GRUMBLING)
167
00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:09,802
I left my past
behind and moved
168
00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:11,968
to the small
village of Salsiccia.
169
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,448
Acceptance came slowly.
170
00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,683
It's pronounced “buongiorno.“
171
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,489
Your mouth is getting lazy
on the second syllable.
172
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:21,284
Here. Let me guide you.
173
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:26,410
But that all changed
when the grape harvest began.
174
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:27,686
(CROWD GRUNTING)
175
00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:31,048
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
176
00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:39,406
(ALL GASPING)
177
00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,527
(SINGING) These feet are
made for stomping
178
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:45,602
And that's just
what they'll do
179
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:50,561
One of these days these feet
will make chianti out of you!
180
00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,088
Ready, feet? Start stomping!
181
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,282
(HUMMING)
182
00:08:56,440 --> 00:08:57,521
(CROWD CHEERING)
183
00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,723
it was the biggest
harvest ever.
184
00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,842
(CORK POPS) Never had I
felt such acceptance.
185
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:08,889
The next spring, the contadini
elected me their mayor.
186
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:12,089
But! won more than
the love of a town.
187
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,367
Roberto, amore!
188
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:18,731
This is my bride Francesca.
And my son, Gino.
189
00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,529
Holy moley!
190
00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,888
I always thought you were, you
know, out, loud, and proud!
191
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,765
Well, I experimented
in college, as one does.
192
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:28,649
Yeah. I never
went to college.
193
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:29,966
Stop the presses.
194
00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:33,761
Hello. I'm Marge.
This is my husband Homer,
195
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,127
my daughters
Lisa and Maggie,
196
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,043
and my son
Bart Simpson.
197
00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:39,929
Bart Simpson?
198
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,606
The name Roberto cries
when he has the bad dream.
199
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:46,048
Bart Simpson! Bart Simpson!
Ban Simpson!
200
00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:49,687
I make like my daddy! I cut, cut...
(CHUCKLES)
201
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:55,489
Yes. Ban and I used
to go fly-fishing together.
202
00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,610
Die, Bart! Die, Bart!
203
00:09:58,680 --> 00:09:59,727
(GRUMBLING)
204
00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,249
You shall all slay
for dinner
205
00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:07,688
and tell me more
about my wonderful Roberto.
206
00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:12,881
(SIGHS) He makes love like a
man who just got out of jail.
207
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:13,961
Mmm. (KISSES)
208
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:17,123
(CHUCKLES) Yes, yes,
you crave my skillful touch.
209
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:21,125
Now go. Take the boy. And shut the door.
I'll rock your world anon.
210
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,282
Simpsons, I beg of you,
211
00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:25,840
please don't destroy the new
life I've created here.
212
00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:29,970
Surely even the most heinous
criminal deserves a seventh chance!
213
00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:31,883
Bob, you haven't told
your wife
214
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,849
about all the terrible
things you've done?
215
00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,649
Yeah. I tell Marge
everything.
216
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:38,644
Not necessarily in words,
but in body language.
217
00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:40,484
You know, sneaking
around and such.
218
00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,801
Bob, your family
will find out the truth.
219
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:45,167
Sooner or later,
you'll try lo kill me again.
220
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:46,321
Watch. I'll prove it.
221
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,404
Come on, Bob. Slice,
dice, and serve on rice.
222
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:51,926
(CHUCKLES) You little scamp.
223
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,083
You know, you'll make some
murderer very happy one day.
224
00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:58,049
But it shan't be me.
225
00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:01,010
Bart, Bob
is a family man now.
226
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:04,243
You can't be a bad person
if you have a family.
227
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,891
And literature is filled
with tales of redemption
228
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:10,328
from Jean Valjean, to the voice
of Buzz Lightyear, Tim Allen.
229
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:11,441
All right, Bob,
230
00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,090
we won't tell your
beautiful new family
231
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:14,844
that you're a homicidal
psychopath
232
00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,763
if you fix up our car.
233
00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:19,524
Now, I can't undo
the past.
234
00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:21,489
But I can try to
make it up to you.
235
00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,683
My humble little
town is at your service.
236
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:29,124
Questi sono i miei amici,
i Simpsons!
237
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:30,446
(CROWD CHEERING)
238
00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:36,449
(WHISPERS) Dad, don't
act like Mussolini.
239
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:38,045
Ooh, I thought I was
doing Donald Trump.
240
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:39,241
Hmph-hmph!
241
00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:43,770
Here's a cute fact.
242
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:47,003
This sausage shop has been
grinding the same family of pigs
243
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:48,923
for six hundred years.
244
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,968
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
245
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:56,727
Prego.
246
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:57,881
Si, si.
247
00:11:58,800 --> 00:11:59,801
Ooh.
248
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:02,761
(GOBBLING)
249
00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:06,407
And he kisses you
with that mouth?
250
00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,289
(MUFFLED)
I love you, Marge!
251
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,771
(KISSING NOISES)
252
00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:10,881
(LAUGHING)
253
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,126
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
254
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:14,163
(CHILDREN GIGGLING)
255
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,001
(LAUGHING)
256
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:24,565
He's so wonderful. They
must miss him in America.
257
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,490
Uh, well...
258
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,248
(GUNS COCK)
Eat justice, Sideshow Bob!
259
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:38,483
Chief, I tried to warn you. Sideshow
Bob hasn't lived here for months.
260
00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:40,847
Oh, God, am I sorry!
(CHUCKLES SHEEPISHLY)
261
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,083
Oh, hey, is that
a Penn State banner?
262
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,605
Because, um,
my cousin went there.
263
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:47,160
Did you know him?
Mark Wiggum? Fat kid?
264
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,126
Played a lot of Tetris.
265
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:51,121
(GLASS CLINKS)
266
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,001
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
267
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,606
We are here to honor my old
friends, the Simpsons.
268
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:59,446
Tomorrow they return to America,
taking with them my gratitude,
269
00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:04,367
my friendship, and my heartfelt
wish that they never return.
270
00:13:04,440 --> 00:13:06,329
And now, mangiate!
271
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,806
No wine for her!
She's only eight!
272
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,360
Marge, don't be
so Olive Garden.
273
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:18,246
Yeah, this is Italy. Look, the
town drunk is two years old!
274
00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:21,843
(SINGING) Hey, mambo
Mambo Italiano!
275
00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,081
(BURPS)
276
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:24,521
(GULPS)
277
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:41,361
Bob, your generosity and abbondanza
have touched our hearts.
278
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:43,250
(CHEERING)
279
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:47,880
Bravo! Bravo! Bravissimo!
280
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:50,241
Ooopsie.
281
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,966
I'll just get it
outwith more wine.
282
00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:55,771
See? lt's fine.
Go on. Go on with the thing.
283
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:56,961
Hmm.
284
00:13:57,200 --> 00:14:00,647
It's obvious why Bob is a vaunted
pillar of your community.
285
00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:04,361
Yeah. But he's a wanted
killer in our community!
286
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:06,289
(LAUGHS)
287
00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,765
He deserves to be
hailed at this wingding.
288
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,366
More like jailed
at Sing Sing!
289
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:16,488
Time for bed now.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
290
00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:20,009
Drunken children
tell the ugliest lies.
291
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:21,201
(CHUCKLES)
292
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,648
Mmm. (GIGGLES)
293
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,281
(SCREAMS)
294
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:29,801
(CROWD GASPS)
295
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:31,365
(SCREAMS) Sideshow Bob!
296
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,044
Sideshow Bob?
297
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:34,406
(SPEAKS ITALIAN)
298
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:35,721
BOTH: Hmm?
299
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:54,088
Roberto, is this true? You
tried to make the murder?
300
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,606
But darling, the boy
drove me to murder
301
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:58,330
by exonerating a harlequin
302
00:14:58,400 --> 00:15:01,165
who I framed for robbery
at the Kwik-E-Mart!
303
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,410
Oh, it all sounds
so stupid.
304
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:10,362
You have brought shame upon our
humble, Mafia-controlled village!
305
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:13,250
You are welcome
in Salsiccia no more!
306
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,321
(GRUNTS)
307
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:15,721
(BLEATS)
308
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:17,166
(SNARLS)
309
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:18,367
Uh-oh.
310
00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,010
He's getting that
stabby look.
311
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,045
Simpson family,
312
00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:29,480
I hereby swear a vendetta!
313
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:33,521
"Vendetta" means "vendetta!"
(ALL SCREAMING)
314
00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:40,411
Boy, that Sideshow Bob goes from
zero to murder awfully fast.
315
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:43,370
At least this time it was
Lisa who ruined Bob's life.
316
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,443
(GROANS) I feel so sick.
317
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:46,521
(CHUCKLES)
318
00:15:46,600 --> 00:15:48,648
It's called
a hangover, sweetie.
319
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,842
And it's an unavoidable
part of life.
320
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:52,251
MR. BURNS:
Simpson! Simpson!
321
00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:55,802
Where is my roadster? You
were due back a month ago.
322
00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:59,248
Mr. Burns, we may be experiencing
some technical difficulties.
323
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:02,165
Ah...
(HUFFS)
324
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:05,561
Sideshow Bob!
325
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,201
(TIRES SCREECHING)
326
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:13,928
(GASPS) Dad, you're driving
on an ancient Roman aqueduct!
327
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,764
What am I supposed
to use it for?
328
00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:18,241
Transporting water
to distant urban centers?
329
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:26,687
Uh-oh.
330
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:28,805
Lazy Romans!
331
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:31,291
(ALL SCREAMING)
332
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:32,964
(BANG)
ALL: Huh?
333
00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,090
HOMER: Everyone remember
where we parked.
334
00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:40,446
(WHIMPERS)
(GRUNTS)
335
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,127
Come on!
336
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:44,846
(CRYING)
337
00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:49,411
Why do I keep
trying to kill them?
338
00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:50,927
Roberto!
339
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,571
Francesca,
you've come to me!
340
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,244
Well, you've caught me
at the right time
341
00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:59,166
because I swear never to raise
this hand in vengeance again.
342
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,446
Hey, no, Roberto.
343
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,409
If the Simpsons
have dishonored you,
344
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,448
they have dishonored
our family.
345
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,126
And we shall take
revenge as a family.
346
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:10,922
Vendetta! Vendetta!
Vendetta for mi papa!
347
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:17,321
Ah! Revenge is a dish
best served
348
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,528
family-style.
349
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:23,920
(EVIL LAUGH)
350
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:26,567
(CRYING)
351
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:29,961
(EVIL LAUGH)
352
00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:34,370
We're in a foreign city,
with no car,
353
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,602
being stalked
by a killer.
354
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,489
I feel like I'm in
The Bourne Identity.
355
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:39,961
(BRAKES SCREECH)
356
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:43,487
Hey, Krusty's in an opera
here in Rome.
357
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:46,041
He can save our lives.
Come on, let's go!
358
00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:47,241
(GROANS) Oh!
359
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,165
Opera? They have that
here, too?
360
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,401
(GROANS)
361
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,843
Let's see... Uh-huh.
362
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,405
I ain't doing that.
363
00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,164
That's not funny.
364
00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:01,768
Here we'll change "wealthy merchant"
to "nudist with big rack."
365
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,366
This needs punching up.
That's coming out.
366
00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:05,487
Two acts?
367
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:06,766
Krusty, you gotta
help us!
368
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:08,001
I don't do "gotta."
369
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,890
Sideshow Bob has sworn
a vendetta against us!
370
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:14,169
Vendetta? What's that?
An Italian vending machine?
371
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:19,407
Ahhh! That's my opening joke,
372
00:18:19,480 --> 00:18:24,168
and my closer, and my saver,
and my topper! (SOBS)
373
00:18:24,360 --> 00:18:25,521
Please help us, Krusty.
374
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,251
We don't want to be the first
Christians to die at the Coliseum.
375
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:29,560
I'll tell you what.
376
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:31,324
Put on these costumes.
Go on the stage
377
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:33,090
and mix in with
the crowd scenes.
378
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:35,128
He won't kill you in front
of all those witnesses.
379
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:36,964
Can I be the
Phantom of the Opera?
380
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:38,804
Dad, the Phantom
isn't in this.
381
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:40,962
But I do a great
impression of him!
382
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:42,441
(HUMS)
383
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,602
l am the gayest
super villain ever!
384
00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:46,887
Beware my scented candles!
385
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:48,889
Ooh. Scented!
386
00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:53,051
(SINGING)
No more Rice Krispies
387
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:57,125
We are out of Rice Krispies
388
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,446
(SOBS)
389
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,201
(AUDIENCE GASPS)
390
00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,247
Hey, don't blame me.
I didn't write this crap.
391
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,290
I can't believe what that clown
is doing to Leoncavallo!
392
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:07,885
And they call me
a murderer!
393
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,330
Vendetta! Vendetta!
394
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,323
I don't wish to brag.
Vendetta! Vendetta!
395
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:20,449
But he's evil at an
eighth grade level.
396
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,682
Vendetta! Vendetta!
397
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,808
Let's see.
What else we got here.
398
00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:28,331
So I had this
beautiful tour guide, right?
399
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,767
And I tell her,
"I wanna see your Naples."
400
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,126
She slapped me!
401
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:33,241
(LAUGHS)
402
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,691
We call it Napoli!
403
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:38,525
Yeah? Well, it sounds like
you're all taking a Napoli!
404
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,206
Know you're out there!
I can hear you being greasy!
405
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:42,281
Ahhh!
406
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,768
(SINGING OPERA)
407
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:52,161
(APPLAUSE)
408
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:54,244
That's so beautiful.
409
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,049
That's Sideshow Bob!
410
00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:58,122
I know. And he's magic!
411
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:07,007
This is no act! They're
actually trying to kill us!
412
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:08,127
(AUDIENCE GASPS)
413
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,161
(CONTINUES SINGING OPERA)
414
00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:23,601
(AUDIENCE SIGHS)
415
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,404
(SPEAKING ITALIAN)
416
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:28,486
(EVIL LAUGH)
417
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:36,046
Quick! Get in!
418
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:40,250
Krusty, you saved us!
419
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,084
Well, I need someone
to help me
420
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,083
smuggle antiquities
to America.
421
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,084
Everyone break off a piece
and hide it on your person.
422
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:48,366
Hide it well.
423
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:51,250
Vendetta! Vendetta!
Vendetta!
424
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:53,921
Farfalla!
425
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:55,331
Farfalla vendetta!
426
00:20:57,200 --> 00:20:58,850
Farfalla vendetta!
427
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,005
GINO: Farfalla vendetta!
428
00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:10,848
Oh, Homie,
isn't Venice romantic?
429
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,844
This gondola ride
was a wonderful idea.
430
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:17,131
(SINGING)
When a wife looks like that
431
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:20,682
And her husband's so fat,
that's immoral
432
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,123
When she kisses that jerk
433
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,123
While I do
all the work, that's...
434
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,361
Hey, knock it off!
435
00:21:26,520 --> 00:21:28,363
Mi scusi.
No speak English.
436
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:33,204
(SINGING)
When a big tub of lard...
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