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00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:06,408
(SINGING) The Simpsons
2
00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:07,686
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
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D'oh!
4
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(EXCLAIMING)
5
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(TIRES SCREECHING)
Ripped By mstoll
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BART: Why does God
always need money?
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HOMER;
It's a lot of little stuff.
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God has to pay all the
elves in his workshop.
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Plus, he's got all those
planets to support.
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You see that ring
he gave Saturn?
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(WHISTLING)
12
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,402
Who knew saints
had such fat heads?
13
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Ah, it's all a big scam.
This booth?
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No, religion in general.
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LISA: Hmm.
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(SCREAMING)
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Not bad.
18
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,648
Here's your
candy apple, sir.
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Excellent.
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This fundraiser is close to
achieving the Lord's goal,
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building a taller
steeple than the one
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on that snooty Episcopal
church across the street.
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Reverend, why do
we really need this?
24
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To compensate for my
own sense of smallness.
25
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And now for our main event,
the rubber duck race!
26
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The first duck to cross the finish
line wins this home computer.
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ALL: Ooh...
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That's the new feMac, the
computer designed just for women.
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The "you've got mail"
voice is Susan Sarandon.
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SARANDON: You've got mail, unlike
the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay.
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Get informed.
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ALL: Ooh...
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Don't worry, Marge.
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Me and Terrible Two here are
gonna win that computer for you.
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How can you be sure?
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'Cause he wants it!
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On your marks,
get set...
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Wait. Someone's
not on their mark.
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That's better! Go!
(HORN BLOWING)
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(CHUCKLING)
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Now to begin
Operation Slight Edge.
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(LAUGHING)
Hee-hee!
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I'm winning!
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(SHRIEKING) He's headed for the old mill!
No, Cheatie! No!
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(GRUNTING)
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(SIGHING)
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D'oh! D'oh! D'oh!
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Too many paddles!
D'oh! (SPUTTERING)
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(GROANING)
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(CREAKING)
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00:02:56,640 --> 00:02:57,926
(GROANING)
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00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:02,321
Protect the duck!
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D'oh! Protect the duck.
D'oh!
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Product the tact... D'oh!
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(QUACKING)
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00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:27,761
Hey! This race
is for rubber ducks!
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Not meat ducks!
(ANGRY QUACKING)
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(MUFFLED SCREAMING)
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(GRUNTING)
(QUACKING)
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00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,770
Woo-hoo! I won!
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00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,126
And the winner is...
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Uh!
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(GROANING)
A living duck?
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00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,127
I wished too hard
and he became real.
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00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,647
And the winner
is Ned Flanders!
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00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,769
This is my favorite
kind of surprise. Mild.
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00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:02,241
Oh.
There, there.
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00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:05,130
The fact that you tried
means everything.
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00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,766
Hey, that's the same
thing you said to Bart
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00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:10,241
after he choked
in that soccer game.
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00:04:10,360 --> 00:04:12,488
And we both know
he sucked.
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00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:15,086
And how.
But this is different.
73
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,606
Say, Marge, I don't
really want a computer.
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00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:25,729
You know, all those complete
strangers Googling each other
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makes my flesh crawl!
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00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,687
Just put it in
the trunk and leave.
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00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,610
Ned, that's
so generous.
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00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:38,047
But there must be something
I could do in return.
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00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,203
Well, sir, we could do a little
quid pro for the Kaypro.
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The left-handed
convention is in town,
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00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,007
and as the owner of Springfield's
largest southpaw shop,
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I just gotta be there.
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00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,247
Could you, uh, nanny-goat
my kid-diddily-ids?
84
00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:52,930
Uh, hmm...
85
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,241
Let see.
Just a second.
86
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,847
Oh, yeah, sure. I'd be happy
to babysit for Rod and Todd.
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"Woo-hoo."
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I'm so glad you're
watching the boys, Marge.
89
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,530
Our last babysitter let
'em watch Comedy Central!
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00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:11,683
Now, Rod makes me check the closet
every night for Rita Rudner.
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00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,730
(SHUDDERING)
"No Rudner."
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00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,962
Here are the numbers for the
police, fire, ambulance,
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00:05:17,040 --> 00:05:18,280
poison control,
burn clinic,
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00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,408
and people nearby with Rod
and Todd's blood type.
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00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,249
Ooh, Carl!
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00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:26,324
So you're gonna be
chillin' with me tonight.
97
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:27,526
Do you want
to play a game?
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00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:29,523
How about a sitting
still contest?
99
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Hands folded.
100
00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,080
Okay, game over.
It's a tie!
101
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:42,844
That means we both
come in second.
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BOTH: We're number two!
We're number two!
103
00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:48,602
What do you
think, Maggie?
104
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:57,161
Oh, wow.
105
00:05:57,240 --> 00:05:59,971
It's the Big Unit himself, Randy Johnson!
(CHUCKLING)
106
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,611
You've fanned more
men than Salome!
107
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,165
Yeah, I get that a lot.
108
00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,766
I'm here promoting my new line
of left-handed teddy bears.
109
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Randy Johnson's Southpawz.
110
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This one's a doctor. You can
give it to your doctor.
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Huh? Huh?
112
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You have one
for a mailman?
113
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A bear can't be a mailman.
114
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Now how many doctor
bears do you want?
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They come in boxes
of a thousand.
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Um...
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(SIGHING)
One box?
118
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You and me got a problem!
119
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Here's my mask.
I'm a Star Wars.
120
00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:35,330
Now let's see
who you've drawn.
121
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I'm my brother, Todd.
122
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I'm my brother, Rod.
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Ahh! This is too scary.
Change back!
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(BOTH WHIMPERING)
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I'll help you.
126
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I'm a chipmunk. I eat nuts
without saying grace.
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I'm a permission slip.
128
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:55,041
Hmm.
129
00:06:55,680 --> 00:06:58,763
And thank you, God, for letting Mrs.
Simpson come over.
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It was the most fun we've
had since Mommy was here.
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Aw...
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00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,530
And could you ask Mommy to
come to Daddy in a dream
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and tell him how
to cut our sandwiches?
134
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Aw...
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And please tell Mrs. Simpson it's
rude to eavesdrop on our prayers.
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Oh...
But we forgive her.
137
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Aw...
138
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Hiya, Marge. Rod and
Todd in the land of Nod?
139
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Mmm-hmm.
140
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We had a lot of fun.
They're terrific kids.
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Hey, you're welcome to see
the dynamic duo anytime!
142
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Hmm.
143
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:32,401
Well, then maybe I will
come by more often.
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And Homer can spend
more time with our kids.
145
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He's watching them now.
146
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(SNORING)
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Ready?
Ready.
148
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And joust!
149
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(BOTH GRUNTING)
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Ahh!
151
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:49,843
(GRUNTING AND YELLING)
152
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Ah! That was awesome!
153
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:55,960
Let's do it again!
154
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,646
(MUMBLING) A canoe
made of country ham?
155
00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:00,051
You know I'll eat it.
156
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:01,565
(SNORING)
157
00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:09,242
Hmm, what's wrong
with your teeter-totter?
158
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:12,449
Daddy says up-and-down
seesaws are dangerous.
159
00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:17,045
Chocks? Why don't
we try it freestyle?
160
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(BOTH WHIMPERING NERVOUSLY)
161
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(WHIMPERING CONTINUES)
162
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(BEETHOVEN'S
SYMPHONY NO. 9 PLAYING)
163
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(SPEAKING SPANISH)
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(GRUNTING)
(SPUTTERING)
165
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(SPEAKING SPANISH)
166
00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,086
(DOORBELL RINGING)
167
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,483
I heard in study hall you
were babysitting tonight.
168
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:07,565
Homer, we're not
in high school.
169
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,720
So Marge,
in tomorrow's game,
170
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:13,644
I'm gonna recover
a fumble just for you.
171
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,770
Oh, maybe you'll run it
in for a touchdown.
172
00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:21,322
Don't pressure me. I get
enough of that from my dad.
173
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,404
Well, maybe we can take
your mind off things
174
00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:26,721
by studying
for the SATs.
175
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,644
Snuggles And Tickles.
(GIGGLING)
176
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:31,845
Oh!
(GIGGLING)
177
00:09:35,800 --> 00:09:37,848
(TIRES SCREECHING)
(DOOR OPENING)
178
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,650
(SHRIEKING)
Old man Flanders!
179
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:44,686
Hey, Homer. Sneakin'
kisses from the missus?
180
00:09:44,760 --> 00:09:47,081
Springfield High
football rules!
181
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:51,368
(THUDDING) HOMER: No one turn
on the sprinklers, okay?
182
00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:55,164
Dad, Mom's over at the Flanders'
babysitting Nimrod and Nimtodd.
183
00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:56,805
We wanna
do something.
184
00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,690
Fine. As soon as I
finish watching my show.
185
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:06,251
I want to go to the Showbiz
Animal Retirement Home.
186
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:07,805
They take in animals
from the movies
187
00:10:07,880 --> 00:10:09,803
and TV that
aren't cute anymore.
188
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,361
(BARKING NERVOUSLY)
189
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,204
(WHINING)
190
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,361
Old showbiz animals, eh?
191
00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,291
You think any of the gremlins from
the Gremlins movie are there?
192
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,402
Um, sure.
193
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:29,450
(LAUGHING)
I'm gonna get them so wet.
194
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,923
Oh, this is much
sadder than I expected.
195
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,367
Sad?
You're crazy.
196
00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:43,807
I feel like I'm at the
Oscars for the animals
197
00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,291
I forgot existed.
198
00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:48,081
(OINKING)
199
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:49,806
Aflac!
200
00:10:49,880 --> 00:10:51,211
(COUGHING)
201
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,010
I'm not a real bear!
202
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,003
That was just the name
of my character.
203
00:10:58,080 --> 00:10:59,206
Now let me out.
204
00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:00,884
Hey, do you know
where the bathroom is?
205
00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,804
Maybe I do
and maybe I don't.
206
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:07,691
You didn't hear it
from me,
207
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:10,127
but it's next
to the rhino cage.
208
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,682
Word on the street is cover
the toilet seat with tissue.
209
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,161
Sweet, sweet tissue.
210
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:18,841
(GULPING)
211
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:20,046
WOMAN:
This is Toot-Toot.
212
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:23,920
She played Tum-Tum in Teen
Tarzan's Eco-Adventures.
213
00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:25,884
She looks like
she's crying.
214
00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:27,889
(SOBBING)
215
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:30,680
Oh, she probably
misses her children.
216
00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:32,091
They're all
in show business.
217
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,686
One of them played the
out-of-control judiciary
218
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,649
in a Republican
Party commercial.
219
00:11:37,400 --> 00:11:38,367
Cheer up, Toot-Toot.
220
00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:39,930
Have some of
my ice cream.
221
00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:41,761
(CHIRPING)
222
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,044
(CHITTERING)
223
00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:50,607
(YELPING)
224
00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:52,125
(BART SHOUTING)
225
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,682
My son's been
ape-napped!
226
00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:57,410
No, no,
it's still kidnapped!
227
00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:58,720
The prefix applies
to the victim.
228
00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:01,041
Help! She's grooming me.
(GRUNTING)
229
00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:02,326
She's grooming me!
230
00:12:03,080 --> 00:12:04,570
Aren't you gonna
do something?
231
00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,608
I'm afraid there's
nothing we can do now.
232
00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:09,729
A chimp that size could tear
your son's head right off!
233
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,290
But she'll leave
the rest of him alone?
234
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:12,766
Uh... Uh...
235
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,843
Would you like
to meet Flipper?
236
00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:18,567
Oh, may I remind you they're
old when they come here.
237
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,651
Well, well, look at
my dull-eyed angels.
238
00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:22,807
What's this?
239
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:26,887
(GASPING)
240
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:29,691
It's the ripcord from
a Band-Aid wrapper!
241
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:33,851
Call me Ned Zeppelin but is one
of my boys abrased and contused?
242
00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:38,287
I cut myself on the knife
playing Christian Clue.
243
00:12:38,440 --> 00:12:41,649
The secular humanist did it in the
schoolhouse with misinformation!
244
00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:45,327
Well, I think it's about
time you boys get to bed.
245
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:46,925
BOTH: Yes, Daddy.
246
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,604
And so we don't
have another disaster,
247
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,409
you crawl up
those steps.
248
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:52,369
(BOTH GROANING)
249
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:57,684
Ned, I know
you like to worry,
250
00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,127
but these boys are never
going to get self-confidence
251
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,806
unless you let them
try things for themselves.
252
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:03,961
I just can't.
253
00:13:04,040 --> 00:13:06,008
They're all I've got
since that sad day
254
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:07,969
when Maude found
eternal happiness.
255
00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:11,089
I thought they might enjoy
it if I took them here.
256
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:13,368
Everything's covered
in foam.
257
00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,689
And it's owned by a corporation,
so you know it's safe.
258
00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:19,728
Their mascot is a
knee-pad-wearing helmet.
259
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,801
Why not?
260
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:23,647
Where's Bart? I haven't seen
him since you came home.
261
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,530
Oh, you haven't seen
Bart for a few hours,
262
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:30,571
so you automatically assume I
let something terrible happen.
263
00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,041
I didn't say that.
264
00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:33,690
I know what you think.
265
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:36,161
"When stupid Homer
wasn't looking,
266
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:39,084
"Bart got kidnapped
by a monkey."
267
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:41,481
I could never think
something that horrible.
268
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:45,326
And now I'm using sarcasm
to confess the whole thing,
269
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:48,370
so later I can say
that I already told you.
270
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:49,930
Sorry I asked.
271
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,087
Dad, you can't keep
this up for long.
272
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:54,844
(SARCASTICALLY)
Oh, you're so right.
273
00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:57,605
I guess I should be more
concerned with Bart's safety
274
00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,523
than covering
my own butt.
275
00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,762
And maybe
I'm talking like this
276
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,649
because I can't stop!
277
00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:09,729
Help me, Lisa. I have
serious mental problems.
278
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:14,487
Look, it's been fun and all,
but I miss indoor plumbing.
279
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:15,891
(GIBBERING)
280
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:18,921
(GROANING)
281
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,081
Sorry, lady.
282
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,970
I've never eaten fresh fruit,
and I reckon I never will.
283
00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:24,371
(EXASPERATED GIBBERING)
284
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:27,801
(GIBBERING)
285
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,047
Whoa!
286
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,043
This Oreo is rank!
287
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,004
(WHISPERING)
Bart! Bart!
288
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:38,363
When the monkey
falls asleep,
289
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:41,484
I'll sneak you out
in this trash bag.
290
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:42,846
Then I'll come back
291
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:46,527
and feed the monkey
a peach full of antifreeze.
292
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:50,324
(CHITTERING)
293
00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:00,811
(WEAKLY) Wee...
294
00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:04,170
Wee...
295
00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,011
(SNORING)
296
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:11,285
(MUTTERING)
297
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,966
Oh, I fell asleep
before the monkey!
298
00:15:15,280 --> 00:15:16,441
Uh-oh.
299
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,602
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
300
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,489
Looking good, Rod!
301
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,126
Ned! Are you
checking up on me?
302
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:42,171
I'm not Ned.
I'm a friendly dog.
303
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:44,405
Oh, I'm not a good liar.
304
00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:46,530
I did come here
to check on the...
305
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:47,801
Where's Rod?
306
00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,166
He's up there, Daddy.
307
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:51,490
Daddy, look
how high I am!
308
00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,211
(YELPING) What are you doing?
You're gonna get hurt!
309
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:56,362
l am?
(WHIMPERING)
310
00:15:59,560 --> 00:16:00,846
(SCREAMING)
311
00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,890
Ahh!
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
312
00:16:05,600 --> 00:16:06,965
He chipped a tooth.
313
00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:09,646
How will he bite
Wheat Thins? How?
314
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:13,566
I'm sorry, Ned. I never
thought this would happen.
315
00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,331
I don't want you watching
my boys ever again!
316
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,404
(ALL MURMURING)
317
00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:19,970
MAN: She must be
an unfit mother.
318
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,162
l am not
an unfit mother!
319
00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:25,528
KENT: We interrupt this skateboarding
footage for a breaking news story.
320
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,887
Local boy Bart Simpson
is being held hostage
321
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:30,008
by an angry chimpanzee,
322
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:33,163
who has improved both his
hygiene and posture.
323
00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,084
His so-called real mother could
not be found for comment.
324
00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,526
(GASPING)
325
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:40,971
Hey, monkey!
Eat tranquilizer dart!
326
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:42,246
(INHALING DART)
327
00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,125
(CHOKING)
328
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:45,965
(SPUTTERING)
329
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:50,084
KENT: Mr. Simpson was later
revived by a police stun gun.
330
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,171
(ELECTRICITY SIZZLING)
331
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:54,971
(SIZZLING INTENSIFIES)
332
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:03,410
(SINGING) Welcome
to the jungle gym
333
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,448
I'll make it safe again
334
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:07,363
When playtime
is a safe time
335
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:08,930
Everybody wins
336
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,889
I'll lay down
some AstroTurf
337
00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:13,884
So they don't
scrape their knees
338
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,249
Daddy, what are
we gonna do today?
339
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:19,448
Well, we're gonna do what every
kid your age likes to do.
340
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:20,761
Look at bread.
341
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:22,880
BOTH: No!
342
00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,564
(GASPING) The "N" word?
343
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,244
We want Mrs. Simpson back!
344
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:29,449
She let us run barefoot
in the grass and play Uno!
345
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,211
Uno? That's a gateway
game to pinochle!
346
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:35,244
All diddily aside, boys. What is
it about her you miss so much?
347
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:37,243
She made us
feel happy.
348
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,369
And not church happy.
For-real happy.
349
00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:41,521
(GASPING)
350
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:44,601
LISA: Maybe there's
another way to solve this.
351
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,968
Bart is clearly fulfilling an
emotional need for Toot-Tool.
352
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,247
Lisa, monkeys don't
have feelings.
353
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:53,762
If they did, then my experiments
could be called cruel.
354
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:56,605
Toot-Toot, look. I'm using
this rock as a tool.
355
00:17:56,760 --> 00:17:58,091
(GRUNTING) Ow!
356
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,685
(DISTRESSED GIBBERING)
357
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,806
(GASPING)
She's kissing his boo-boo!
358
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,530
That's it! I'm going in!
359
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:10,171
(GIBBERING)
360
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:14,288
Excuse me,
Mrs. Toot.
361
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,768
I need to talk to you mother-to-mother.
(INQUISITIVE GIBBERING)
362
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:21,243
While you were living the
glamorous life of a TV chimp,
363
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,004
I was raising my son.
364
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,726
You have no right to take
him away from me now.
365
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:29,725
Please, please,
give me back my boy.
366
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:31,687
(GIBBERING)
367
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,045
(EXCITED GIBBERING)
368
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,447
Marge, Toot-Toot
and her son escaped!
369
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:42,726
(SIGHING)
370
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:47,684
The Hamburglar was survived by his
longtime companion, Mayor McCheese.
371
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,480
Now our latest update on
monkey boy Bart Simpson.
372
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,291
Toot-Toot has taken Bart to
the highest spot in town.
373
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:56,051
The new steeple atop the
First Church of Springfield.
374
00:18:56,120 --> 00:18:57,246
(SOBBING)
375
00:18:59,080 --> 00:19:02,562
Now, Marge, I know
things look bleak.
376
00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:04,483
But it should
comfort you to know
377
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,689
we have this plaque
ready to go.
378
00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:09,651
(MARGE GASPING)
379
00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:11,051
(SOBBING)
380
00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,361
Hey, I know how
we can save Bart!
381
00:19:17,760 --> 00:19:19,000
HOMER: Mr. Teeny?
382
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,970
He also happens to
be Toot-Tom's son.
383
00:19:22,040 --> 00:19:25,089
But Krusty said Mr. Teeny
was born in Funny Town.
384
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:27,561
Nelson, Funny Town
doesn't exist.
385
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:31,885
No! I was gonna live
at Cuckoo Corners!
386
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:33,241
Hmm.
387
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,451
Listen, we can trade
Mr. Teeny for Bart.
388
00:19:36,520 --> 00:19:39,046
We just have to find
a way to get him up there.
389
00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:40,929
I'm already doing it.
390
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,286
(SCREAMING)
391
00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:44,567
Roddy, get down!
You're gonna fall!
392
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:45,926
(WHIMPERING)
393
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:54,091
Ned, Rod needs to know you believe
he can be okay on his own.
394
00:19:56,120 --> 00:20:00,205
You'd be surprised what he could
do if you just gave him a chance.
395
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,201
Rod, you can do it, boy.
396
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,523
With God on your side,
you can't fail!
397
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:15,885
Toot-Toot, I have
something for you.
398
00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:18,367
(GIBBERING)
399
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,442
(EMOTIONAL MUSIC PLAYING)
400
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:32,486
(GIBBERING)
401
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,281
Yeah, great.
New I need a new sidekick.
402
00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:37,085
Get me a lemur
or a marmot.
403
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,130
Or Tom Green. He's not
doing anything these days.
404
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:42,043
And really stick it
to him on the money.
405
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,605
Hurry,
let's climb down.
406
00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,121
Okay. But don't let our hands touch.
It's gay.
407
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:48,328
What's gay mean?
Um...
408
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:53,402
It means you used to be
afraid, but now you're not.
409
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,927
I'm gay, Daddy!
I'm gay!
410
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,480
(YELLING) Mrs.
Simpson made me gay!
411
00:20:58,560 --> 00:20:59,766
(HYPERVENTILATING)
412
00:20:59,840 --> 00:21:03,242
I believe he's saying,
"He's okay."
413
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,168
My little boy
is growing up.
414
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:19,287
Hey, I'll say.
415
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:20,885
I haven't seen
climbing like that
416
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,531
since Dudley Moore
married Susan Anton.
417
00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:25,364
(LAUGHING)
418
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:29,809
Oh, Bob, why did I wait 100
years to get you up here?
419
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,041
You're telling me.
420
00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:35,205
Now I can look down Dolly Parton's
dress whenever I want. (GROWLING)
421
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:37,124
Guys, I'm trying
to watch this.
422
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:38,611
Hey, I'm sorry.
423
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:40,091
What got into her?
424
00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:42,686
Her kid's fruitier than
Carmen Miranda's hat rack.
425
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:47,728
Remember her?
(LAUGHING)
Ripped By mstoll