1
00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:05,970
(SINGING) <i>The Simpsons</i>

2
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,410
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)

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(HORN BELLOWING)
<b><font color="#0A7C32">Ripped By mstoll</font></b>

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(PLAYING DIFFERENT TUNE)

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(TIRES SCREECHING)

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D'oh!

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(SCREAMS)

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00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:09,926
MAN ON TV: <i>Next on Fox,
Carmen Electra stars in Boobs.</i>

9
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:12,401
<i>About a class of remedial reading
students and their teacher</i>

10
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:14,482
<i>who wants to be
taken seriously.</i>

11
00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,809
Oh, I thought it was
about her boobs.

12
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:18,881
(CLICKS)

13
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Tonight on Jock Center,

14
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<i>a slugger on 'roids,
Tiger Woods is annoyed,</i>

15
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:26,524
<i>and North Korean
missiles deployed.</i>

16
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,921
<i>But first, the commissioner
of pro football</i>

17
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,843
<i>has announced plans
to expand the league.</i>

18
00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:34,367
<i>Owners will meet soon to award
a new team to one lucky city.</i>

19
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Well, it's a cinch Springfield
wont be that lucky city.

20
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Yeah, the only
thing we're known for

21
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,483
is leading the country
in heart attacks.

22
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(GROANS)

23
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:45,201
Ha! (GRUNTS)

24
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(GROANS)

25
00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:49,087
Oh, I've had enough
of your stinkin' thinkin'.

26
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I, Homer Simpson,
will personally bring

27
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the new pro football
franchise to Springfield.

28
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(ALL LAUGH)

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(MOTORIZED LAUGHING)

30
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(LAUGHS)

31
00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:04,926
God, we have fun.

32
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,971
Homie, snagging a pro football
franchise is a big project

33
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,486
requiring a lot
of follow through.

34
00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,562
And that's not your
strong suit, big guy.

35
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I'll show you all.

36
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I'm gonna spearhead the hell
out of this expansion bid.

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(ALL LAUGH)

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(BABBLING)

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(DRILLING)

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(HAMMERING)

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(TYPEWRITER CLACKS AND DINGS)

42
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(LOUD CLATTERING)

43
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(CRASHING)

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(SIREN WAILING)

45
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(CHILDREN SINGING)
<i>Ring around the rosy</i>

46
00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,288
Homie, you've been
down here for a week.

47
00:02:47,360 --> 00:02:49,249
I really think you need...
(GASPS)

48
00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:52,603
What the Hellmann's
Real Mayonnaise?

49
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,490
Marge, meet pro football's
newest team,

50
00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,166
the Springfield Meltdowns!

51
00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,328
Plus, I designed
a state-of-the-art stadium.

52
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:02,368
We'll fund it with
corporate naming rights.

53
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,841
It's the Duff
Beer-Krustyburger-Buzz Cola-

54
00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:06,410
Costington's Department Store

55
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,323
Kwik-E-Man-
Stupid Flanders Park.

56
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,525
So Homer do good?

57
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:13,962
Homer do great.

58
00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:21,804
Uh, maybe Homer brush teeth first?
(GROANS) Oh.

59
00:03:24,640 --> 00:03:27,610
Gentlemen, I've narrowed our choice
of expansion cities down to two,

60
00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:28,727
Springfield...

61
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Yee-haw! I own slums there!

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...and Los Angeles, which
has sent us this videotape.

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<i>I love LA</i>

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Oh, hi, I'm Rob Reiner, director
of <i>When Harry Met Sally.</i>

65
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"I'll have what she's having"
was one of the lines.

66
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I'm here to tell you why you
should choose LA over Springfield.

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LA has the beach,

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a thriving music scene, and
the beautiful Getty Museum.

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Springfield has
Apu Nahasapeemapetilon.

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(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

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00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:05,691
(LAUGHS)

72
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,282
Hollywood takes in
talented actors

73
00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,522
and writers from
all over the world.

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00:04:10,600 --> 00:04:13,570
Springfield takes in
garbage from other cities.

75
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But don't just
take my word for it.

76
00:04:22,560 --> 00:04:24,528
Some of Hollywood's
biggest stars

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have taken the time
to sign waivers

78
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:29,809
allowing celebrity impersonators
to sing in this video.

79
00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:33,327
Enjoy.

80
00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:37,365
(ALL SINGING)
<i>LA makes great movies</i>

81
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<i>And awesome TV shows</i>

82
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<i>Springfield don't make nothin'</i>

83
00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,410
<i>'Cause Springfield blows</i>

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<i>Springfield blows</i>

85
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<i>Springfield blows</i>

86
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<i>Yes, Springfield blows</i>

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(INDISTINCT TALKING)

88
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:04,644
I'm sick of LA.

89
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:08,850
They got earthquakes, wildfires,
Benniffers, Brangelinas,

90
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,605
and that potty mouth
Sarah Silverman.

91
00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:12,761
To hell with all of them!

92
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I didn't kill my husband lo
get control of his franchise

93
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to give a team
to Los Angeles!

94
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Then Springfield it is!

95
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Yee-haw!

96
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(ALL MURMURING)

97
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Now if you'll excuse
me, I gotta go

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00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,324
tell my gay grandson
I still love him.

99
00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,809
<i>This is Kent Brockman live at
Duff Beer-Krustyburger-Buzz Cola-</i>

100
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<i>Costington's Department Store-
Kwik-E-Mart-Stupid Flanders Park.</i>

101
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:36,211
<i>In just one hour the commissioner
of football will arrive</i>

102
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<i>to sign the contracts
necessary to make Springfield</i>

103
00:05:39,080 --> 00:05:43,130
<i>the home of pro football's
newest team, The Meltdowns!</i>

104
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I've got Melt mania.

105
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I've got Downs syndrome!

106
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<i>In honor of
the commissioner's visit,</i>

107
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<i>the city has been
re-painted in the team colors</i>

108
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<i>and all the streets
whimsically renamed.</i>

109
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Touchdown Avenue?
Delightful!

110
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Who you talking to?
Your imaginary girlfriend?

111
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Argh! Isn't your mother
a well-known whore?

112
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(GASPS)
You win this round, Mel.

113
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<i>It is my honor to introduce
the commissioner of football,</i>

114
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<i>Mr. Bud Armstrong!</i>

115
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(CHEERING)

116
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<i>There, uh, seems to be
some delay.</i>

117
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<i>Um...</i>

118
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<i>Did I ever tell you people about
the time I met Lloyd Bridges?</i>

119
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LENNY: Yeah, you
passed him in the airport!

120
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<i>Yes, but which airport?</i>

121
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CARL: Hartsfield in Atlanta!
(HUFFS)

122
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Ugh, this map says things like Oak
Street and Evergreen Terrace.

123
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But all I see are
Two-Point-Conversion Avenue

124
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and Off-Season Knee
Surgery Boulevard.

125
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I'd better call
and ask for directions.

126
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I'll just Blackberry my assistant.
(PHONE BEEPS)

127
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Oh, my God.

128
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Oh, what a day.

129
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(DOORBELL RINGS)

130
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Who are ya?
What do you want?

131
00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:02,769
What year is it?
Who are ya?

132
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:06,243
I have to borrow your phone. Oh, I
also need to use your bathroom.

133
00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:08,404
As you can tell,
I've been crying.

134
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,770
MAN ON TV:
<i>Tonight on 48 Minutes</i>

135
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,764
<i>we look at America's number
one problem,</i> (TICKING)

136
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<i>criminals who prey on the elderly
people who watch this program.</i>

137
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<i>I'd go to some
geezer's house</i>

138
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<i>and ask to use their
phone or their bathroom.</i>

139
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,764
Well, I'm done with the bathroom.
(SIGHS)

140
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Now, I'm going to make
that phone call. Oh.

141
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<i>Then I'd steal
their wallets, jewelry</i>

142
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<i>and pictures of
their grandkids.</i>

143
00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,090
<i>I made a collage of these</i>

144
00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:37,801
<i>and when you step back, it
looks like my face.</i> (LAUGHS)

145
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:41,521
(HUMMING)

146
00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:44,288
If I knock him out,
I'll be a hero

147
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:48,530
and people will listen
to my loose brain nonsense.

148
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:49,886
(BEEPING)

149
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:52,524
(HUMMING)

150
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(GROANS)
(CHUCKLES)

151
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,569
<i>By the shores
of Gitche Gumee,</i>

152
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,722
<i>by the Shining
Big-Sea-Water,</i>

153
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,129
<i>stood the Wiggum of Nokomis.</i>

154
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,647
<i>I'm sorry, did I just say "Wiggum"?
</i> (CHUCKLES) <i>I meant "wigwam".</i>

155
00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,131
<i>Let me, uh, start again.</i>

156
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:13,090
(CROWD GROANING)

157
00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:19,284
lt's so strange that the
commissioner didn't show up.

158
00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,886
Maybe, he's thinking of a
new shape for the football.

159
00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:28,161
(ALL GASP)

160
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,208
Not so tough
when someone hits you

161
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:32,243
from behind with
a golf club, are ya?

162
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,808
Grampa, that's
the commissioner of football!

163
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,370
(STUTTERS)
What the... You...

164
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,603
I thought he was
trying to steal my jewels

165
00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:43,445
and all them pictures
of Bert and Lucy!

166
00:08:44,640 --> 00:08:46,688
I am never coming back
to this city!

167
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,285
And neither is the league!

168
00:08:48,360 --> 00:08:50,044
(GASPS) You mean...
That's right.

169
00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:53,249
The Springfield Meltdowns
Football Club shall never be!

170
00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:59,040
You're a useless old man. Name one
thing you do for this family!

171
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,610
I watch the baby.

172
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:02,045
Where is the baby?

173
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,930
You left me with a baby?

174
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,924
Hey, Abe, thanks for losing
us our football team!

175
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,606
Thanks to you, we have
a $100-million stadium

176
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,604
we can only use
for farmers markets.

177
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:25,730
<i>Nobody loves you
when you're old and gray</i>

178
00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:35,007
<i>Nobody needs you
when you're upside-down</i>

179
00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:42,764
<i>Everyone's hollering
about their own birthday</i>

180
00:09:46,560 --> 00:09:48,085
<i>Everybody loves you</i>

181
00:09:48,160 --> 00:09:52,529
<i>When you're six
foot in the ground</i>

182
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,761
You're the only
smile I got.

183
00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:58,641
(GROANS) on.

184
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,968
Abe, I know you've been
real depressed lately

185
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,283
on account of everyone hating
ya, including me. (SPITS)

186
00:10:04,560 --> 00:10:06,449
But I thought you might
want to call this number.

187
00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:10,210
A doctor? I already got
enough doctors touching me

188
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,248
and poking me
and squeezing me up here

189
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,129
and jiggling me
down there!

190
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,929
And that's just
the receptionist!

191
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,047
Abe, Abe, Abe!

192
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:20,249
This doctor helps old people
to kill themselves.

193
00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:21,801
Euthanasia?

194
00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,611
No way, l want to die
with dignity,

195
00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:28,605
like slipping in the shower and
then they find me two weeks later

196
00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:32,048
swelling up so bad they don't
know if I'm man or sofa!

197
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:33,724
Just go for a visit.

198
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,929
There's a Howard Johnson's next door.
You'll get some pie.

199
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:38,886
Hmm.

200
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:40,601
Mmm.

201
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:45,526
Mr. Simpson, you are a good
candidate for assisted suicide.

202
00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:48,331
Aw, I think you're cute, too.

203
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,562
But killing yourself
isn't as easy

204
00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:52,802
as putting on an ugly
sweater like you did today.

205
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:56,288
I want you to carefully think
about this for 24 hours.

206
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:57,891
Oh, I see.

207
00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,928
You want me to reconsider
whether or not

208
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,923
I really should
give up my life.

209
00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,485
Yeah, and we're cleaning out
the death machine today.

210
00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:07,090
Lotta gunk gets stuck in it.

211
00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:09,607
(CLOCK TICKING)

212
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,001
Okay.

213
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:16,722
If I get a single phone call in the
next 24 hours, I'll keep on living.

214
00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:19,651
If you go, can I have your
blanket and your liver?

215
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,803
Blanket, sure.
Liver, never!

216
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,362
Homie, you should
give your dad a call.

217
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,602
You can't stay
mad at him forever.

218
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:30,520
Yeah, you're right.

219
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:31,647
(PHONE RINGING)

220
00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:34,769
Y'ello? (GASPS) You want my
opinion on current movies?

221
00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,008
Well, first of all,
they're all perfect.

222
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,162
Also, when's the Cap'n Crunch
movie coming out?

223
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:40,890
And will it be R or hard R?

224
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:47,804
(CLOCK TICKING)

225
00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:52,329
Oh, that's it.
It's time for me to die.

226
00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:56,206
I'll just get mad about one
thing in the newspaper then go.

227
00:11:56,280 --> 00:12:00,001
"President visits Europe."
On my dime? (HUFFS)

228
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,721
l am so honored that you've
chosen me to murder you.

229
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:06,009
You'll be following in the footsteps
of Socrates, Virginia Woolf,

230
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:09,442
Ernest Hemingway, Hunter S.
Thompson and Fred Kanickee.

231
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,567
Who's Fred Kanickee?

232
00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,608
My appointment before you.
Nice guy.

233
00:12:12,680 --> 00:12:14,569
Just a little screwed up.

234
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,849
Now, it is time to hook
you up to the diePOD.

235
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:28,685
<i>As you surrender your body,</i>

236
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:32,009
<i>what music and visual imagery
would you like to experience?</i>

237
00:12:32,160 --> 00:12:34,527
I want to hear
the Glenn Miller Orchestra

238
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,807
and I want to see
cops beating up hippies.

239
00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:37,927
Uh-huh.
(TURNS KNOB)

240
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,001
Hmm.

241
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,888
<i>(PENNSYLVANIA 6-5000</i> PLAYING)

242
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,241
One minute to go.

243
00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:07,290
Hands off the stiff,
Manfred Manslaughter!

244
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:11,605
(CHUCKLES) The voters just
overturned the assisted suicide law.

245
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:12,681
(GRUNTS)

246
00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,291
I'll kill you all!
When the law is reversed.

247
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:19,204
I'd like to see you try!
When the law is reversed.

248
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:22,646
CLANCY: I think you know my
brother-in-law, Fred Kanickee?

249
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:23,721
DR. EGOYAN: Oh, boy.

250
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:31,691
(GASPS) I'm dead.
I never felt so alive!

251
00:13:31,760 --> 00:13:34,411
And I got my
16-year-old body back.

252
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:35,561
Woo-hoo!

253
00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:38,811
(CARS HONKING)
MAN: Look out!

254
00:13:38,920 --> 00:13:39,967
(MAN SHOUTING)
MAN: Idiot!

255
00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:42,202
Now, let's see.
Am I in heaven or hell?

256
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,611
Mmm.

257
00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:46,968
That's odd. You'd think
they'd come back as the cows.

258
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:51,164
Charlie Chaplin?
They sure put you to work.

259
00:13:51,280 --> 00:13:54,443
You said it. And you can talk.
Good for you.

260
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:00,167
What. .. (STAMMERS)

261
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:02,004
You're all dead, too?

262
00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,845
So who went berserk?
Fatso or the little guy?

263
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,968
We're not dead
and neither are you.

264
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:08,360
I'm not?

265
00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:11,603
I guess if you want to
commit suicide around here,

266
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:13,250
you gotta do it yourself.

267
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:14,850
ALL: Suicide?

268
00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:17,446
Grampa, killing
yourself is a sin.

269
00:14:17,520 --> 00:14:20,091
God wants us to die
of old age,

270
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,164
after years of pain
and reduced mobility.

271
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:27,564
I ain't gonna kill myself because
I just learned something.

272
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:34,003
The brief time
I thought I was dead

273
00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,923
was the happiest
I've ever been

274
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,321
because I was finally
living without fear.

275
00:14:38,400 --> 00:14:42,086
And dagnabit, that's the way I'm
gonna live the rest of my life!

276
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,889
<i>I am, I am</i>

277
00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,531
<i>I am Superman</i>

278
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:51,002
<i>And I know what's happening</i>

279
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:52,726
(ALL GASP)

280
00:14:53,680 --> 00:14:55,762
<i>I am, I am</i>

281
00:14:55,840 --> 00:14:58,411
<i>I am Superman</i>

282
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,323
<i>And I can do anything</i>

283
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,324
You're all gonna die
in a pointless war.

284
00:15:03,560 --> 00:15:04,561
Huh?

285
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:09,401
We're here tonight
to discuss possible uses

286
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:10,891
for this football stadium,

287
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,048
including
the solid gold statue

288
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,168
of Mike Ditka
with diamond eyes.

289
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:20,167
I suggest we use the stadium for
the ancient art of the toreador.

290
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,241
Bullfighting!

291
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:22,401
CROWD: (CHEERING) Yes!

292
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:26,610
No, wait, wait! Bullfighting
is a cruel pseudo-sport.

293
00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,490
Lisa's right!
It is a cool super sport!

294
00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,928
Everyone in favor of bringing
bullfighting to Springfield,

295
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,161
say, <i>olé.</i>

296
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:35,571
CROWD: <i>Olé!</i>

297
00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,483
So ordered!
All we need now is...

298
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:38,891
Uh, er...

299
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:41,206
Uh, er...

300
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:42,521
(STAMMERING)

301
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:43,721
A matador.

302
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:47,168
If it's all the same to you,
I'll take on those bulls!

303
00:15:47,240 --> 00:15:48,526
Grampa, no!

304
00:15:48,600 --> 00:15:52,685
Grampa, sf. If the bull
dies, the crowd goes wild.

305
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,127
If Grampa dies,
the crowd goes wild.

306
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:58,761
Either way, we make a fortune
on souvenirs and snacks.

307
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,207
Uh, can we bring
outside food?

308
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,449
Not even gum.

309
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:13,530
Is the practice bull ready?

310
00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,405
Hell, yeah! (SNORTS)

311
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:22,241
<i>Olé.</i>

312
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:25,570
Ooh, a penny.
This is my lucky day.

313
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,649
Ahhh!
(TIRES SCREECH)

314
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,485
Yep, my lucky day.

315
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:34,566
(SCREAMS IN PAIN)

316
00:16:34,720 --> 00:16:36,404
(WHIMPERS)

317
00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:43,762
(SINGING) <i>How many bulls
must my grandfather kill...</i>

318
00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,251
Aw, she's so cute.

319
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,527
We'll bring you the
bull's heart, sweetie.

320
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:51,606
(CROWD CHEERING)

321
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,325
MARGE: Well,
I had my doubts.

322
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:57,688
But Grampa sure looks
manly in those leggings.

323
00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,603
And I don't know
who's more handsome,

324
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:02,331
the bull taunter
or the bull stabber.

325
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,447
(HORN BLOWS)

326
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:07,761
(SNORTS)

327
00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:08,961
(GRUNTS)

328
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:14,807
(GRUNTS)

329
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:16,121
(SNORTS)

330
00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,806
<i>And the corrida
de toros has begun!</i>

331
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,367
COMMENTATOR: <i>The bull
charges at Grampa Simpson.</i>

332
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:22,441
(BULL GRUNTING)

333
00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:23,641
(CROWD GASPING)

334
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,770
<i>And he avoids the toro
with a masterfui veronica!</i>

335
00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:28,569
<i>This old man has no fear,</i>

336
00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:31,644
<i>like the fear I feel that I
have left the iron on at home.</i>

337
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:32,801
(SCREAMS) <i>Have I? Have I?</i>

338
00:17:32,920 --> 00:17:33,921
(SNORTS)

339
00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:36,481
<i>And another
veronica and another.</i>

340
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,449
<i>That last veronica means
everyone here today</i>

341
00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:40,249
<i>has won a free side
of rice and beans</i>

342
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,004
<i>at the Springfield
Taco Pronto.</i>

343
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:45,403
<i>Tired of waiting two hours for a taco?
Go to Taco Pronto!</i>

344
00:17:46,120 --> 00:17:47,326
(CROWD CHEERING)

345
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:48,601
(SNORTS)

346
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,211
(LOWING)

347
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,161
(CHEERING)

348
00:17:55,840 --> 00:17:57,683
(CROWD JEERING)

349
00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:06,246
(CROWD CHEERING)

350
00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,641
Grampa, I think you should
give up the bullfighting.

351
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:27,161
Forget it! I'd look pretty
stupid in this outfit

352
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,447
walking around
fighting oysters!

353
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,409
But you just got
a new lease on life.

354
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:34,404
Why would you want to use it
to hurt poor helpless animals?

355
00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:37,001
Listen, I'm 83 years old

356
00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:41,529
and for the first time in my life,
people are cheering for me.

357
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:45,851
I was always cheering for
you, Grampa, till now.

358
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:51,882
Oh, how does she always
know how to get to me?

359
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,091
(CROWD CHEERING)

360
00:18:59,560 --> 00:19:01,847
<i>Grampa Simpson's
movements are tentative</i>

361
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:03,924
<i>as if he's distracted.</i>

362
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,321
<i>Distracted as if
by a moral dilemma,</i>

363
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:09,051
<i>a moral dilemma
posed by a young boy...</i>

364
00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:12,727
<i>No, a girl. A girl named Linda.
Ne, Lisa!</i>

365
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,570
<i>The flutter of
the cape tells all.</i>

366
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:16,801
(GRUNTS)

367
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:17,961
(GROANS)

368
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:21,847
HOMER
Hurry up and kill n.

369
00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:23,968
I have to be at
the opera by 7:00.

370
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:26,925
(CROWD JEERING) MAN: Come on!
Kill it! Come on!

371
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,001
(GRUNTS)

372
00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:45,361
I don't get what
he's doing and I'm smart.

373
00:19:45,440 --> 00:19:47,522
Not book smart
or street smart

374
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,762
or brain smart,
but somethin'.

375
00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,004
(GRUNTS)

376
00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:56,846
(BULLS GRUNTING)

377
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:01,410
(GASPS) He has released
the bulls from the stadium.

378
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,369
Thank God I am up high.
(ELEVATOR DINGS)

379
00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:04,965
(SNORTS) (GASPS)

380
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,006
Please, no. I have a wife
and three girlfriends.

381
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:09,127
(GRUNTS)

382
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:11,806
(LOWING)

383
00:20:12,120 --> 00:20:13,121
(GAS PS)

384
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,407
Grampa must've
set them free.

385
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:18,481
(STRUMMING)

386
00:20:19,360 --> 00:20:20,805
(CROWD PANICKING)

387
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:24,527
(BULLS GRUNTING)

388
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:31,082
Oh, Gil's back on track. He's got
a new job and a new red suit.

389
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,810
(HUMMING)

390
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:33,961
Ahhh!

391
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:40,287
If you let me go,

392
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:43,569
I give you free large pizza
pie with purchase of same.

393
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:47,042
Offer not good Tuesday through Sunday.
We're closed on Monday.

394
00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:48,401
(BULLS GRUNTING)
Ahhh!

395
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:49,846
Santa Maria!

396
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:51,251
(SCREAMING)

397
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:56,202
Thanks for setting me
straight, sweetie.

398
00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:57,850
<i>De nada,</i> Grampa.

399
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,924
(SIGHS) It sure is
peaceful up here.

400
00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:03,281
(BULLS GRUNTING)

401
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:04,481
Uh-oh.

402
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:12,761
(SHUTTER CLICKS)

403
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,208
<i>I would like to name
the following friends of mine</i>

404
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:16,850
<i>as members of
the Communist Party.</i>

405
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,168
<i>You're just here to
test the microphone.</i>

406
00:21:19,840 --> 00:21:23,242
<i>Fred Wilson, my brother Bill,
Dom DiMaggio,</i>

407
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:29,041
<i>the paper boy, Howdy
Doody, Joseph Stalin...</i>
<b><font color="#0A7C32">Ripped By mstoll</font></b>