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00:00:03,280 --> 00:00:05,726
(SINGING) The Simpsons
2
00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:07,606
(TIRES SCREECHING)
3
00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:09,927
D'oh!
4
00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:11,521
(EXCLAIMING)
5
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:12,840
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
6
00:00:15,320 --> 00:00:19,401
HOMER: Woo-hoo!
Ripped By mstoll
7
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:26,801
(BIRD SQUAWKING)
8
00:00:27,280 --> 00:00:28,281
(MAN COUGHING)
9
00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:31,364
I love it when Mr. Burns
shows a movie at work.
10
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,130
I'm not sittin' up
front with you guys.
11
00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:35,044
It's bad for your eyes.
(CHUCKLES)
12
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:37,202
Suckers.
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00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,201
(CLEARS THROAT)
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00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:41,567
Before we begin the movie,
please join me in a moment
15
00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:45,440
of silence for the workers who
gave their lives in an heroic...
16
00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:49,202
(CHANTING)
Movie! Movie! Movie!
17
00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:50,681
(WHIRRING)
18
00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,080
MAN: The American worker.
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00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,800
Proud, tough, hardworking.
(CLANKING)
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00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:57,809
And tired!
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00:00:58,200 --> 00:00:59,964
These jobs are killing us.
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00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,402
Outsourcing, take them away!
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00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:05,250
(WORKERS CHEERING)
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00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:07,401
It's a miracle!
25
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,165
They moved our factory
to a third-world nation.
26
00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:13,165
Now I have more time to
play the lottery. Ka-ching!
27
00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:16,688
MAN: Hey, America, why not let
some of the other countries
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00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,001
carry their share
of the load?
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00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:22,920
You can, with the best kind
of sourcing: Outsourcing.
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00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:26,087
(CHUCKLES)
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00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:27,161
What a great film.
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00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:29,329
And I think it
makes a terrific point:
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00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:32,246
effective immediately,
I'm closing the plant
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00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,966
and moving all
operations to India.
35
00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:36,201
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
36
00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,010
Does this mean
we're losing our jobs?
37
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:39,406
(CHUCKLES) No, no.
38
00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:40,925
Your jobs are safe.
39
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,526
They'll just be done by someone
else in another country.
40
00:01:43,600 --> 00:01:46,604
Oh, no! I just bought
a $3 million house!
41
00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,849
However, federal law
requires I keep
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00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,689
one union worker
on the payroll.
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00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:54,168
So, congratulations, whoever
catches this bouquet!
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00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:55,641
(GRUNTS)
45
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:58,690
(MEN PUNCHING)
(GRUNTS)
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00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:01,366
(YELLING)
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00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:03,921
Woo-hoo! I win!
48
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,809
In your face,
best friends!
49
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,569
You've been
transferred to India?
50
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,729
Hey, Marge,
it's what I gotta do
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00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,564
to keep this family
living in luxury.
52
00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,811
Luxury? This thermostat
is just painted on.
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00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:18,328
Oh, my God! You're right.
I'd better call the guy.
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00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:20,284
(IMITATES PHONE BEEPING)
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00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,563
Send someone right over.
Oh, here he is.
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00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,042
Dad, that's Mac Tonight.
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00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,567
Yeah? Well, while I'm gone,
you'll do what he says.
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00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:35,931
(CLOCK TICKING)
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00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:39,731
What's a MacGyver, and why
does it have a convention?
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00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:42,088
MacGyver was a show
about a secret agent
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00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:45,926
who used inventions made of everyday
objects to defeat bad guys.
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00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:48,720
And he was played
by the three greatest
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00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,246
names in the history
of television:
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00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,411
Richard Dean Anderson.
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00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,450
Did someone
mention my names?
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00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,127
BOTH: (GASPING)
Richard Dean Anderson!
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00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:00,930
(BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY)
68
00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,766
You finally came
to our convention!
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00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,770
No. I'm looking for the
convention for my new show
70
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:10,726
Stargate SG-1.
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00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,281
Oh, that.
It's over there.
72
00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:16,967
(CROWD CHANTING)
Stargate 86-1!
73
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:19,044
You're into MacGyver?
74
00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,726
That show was so stupid.
(CLATTERS)
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00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:25,088
"Oh, I'm MacGyver.
I can make a bomb
76
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,481
"out of a banana
peel and a toaster."
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00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:31,609
That show was just a paycheck
to me, and nothing more.
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00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:34,727
(DOOR CLOSES)
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00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:36,131
(WHEEZING)
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00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:38,050
How could he say that?
81
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,129
MacGyver is my world.
82
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:42,886
Richard Dean Anderson
just pissed off
83
00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,440
the wrong Richard
Dean Anderson fans!
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00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:47,486
CROWD: Stargate...
85
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:48,846
Richard Dean Anderson,
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00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,008
of the four star
franchises:
87
00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,321
Wars, Trek, Gate,
and Search,
88
00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:55,768
Gate is easily
my third favorite.
89
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:57,201
I get that a lot.
90
00:03:57,760 --> 00:03:59,205
Question SG1:
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00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:01,249
how would your character,
Major General
92
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,488
Jonathan "Jack" O'Neill,
react to appearing
93
00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:05,762
at the Springfield
Stargate fanfest?
94
00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:07,924
I feel like I’ve just
gone through
95
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:10,526
the stargate to one
heck of a convention!
96
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:12,365
(AUDIENCE CHEERING)
97
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:15,165
He's aware of us!
(WHISTLING)
98
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:17,841
(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
99
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:20,084
JEFF: What in the name
of Steve Ditko?
100
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:21,601
RICHARD;
Hey, Let go!
101
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,490
Hey, watch the face!
I need that for acting!
102
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:25,561
(CLICKS)
103
00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:27,125
Whoa! He's gone!
104
00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:30,250
There must be a stargate
in this stadium!
105
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:31,731
Everybody, look for it!
106
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:33,165
(AUDIENCE CLAMORING)
107
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,326
Wait, wait. I have some
even more exciting news!
108
00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:38,011
There is a girl
in the audience!
109
00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:39,645
Everybody look for her!
110
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:41,325
(ALL CLAMORING)
111
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:45,091
This is a kilt,
and I'm not a girl!
112
00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:46,970
You're as close
as we'll ever get!
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00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:48,811
Get him!
(SCREAMS)
114
00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,081
Hmm.
115
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:01,600
Surprise!
116
00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,921
This is kidnapping! People
are gonna know I'm missing.
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00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,128
There's a liquor store
I go to every morning.
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00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:08,687
This isn't a kidnapping.
119
00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:10,967
No. Think of it
as a two-on-one
120
00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,844
MacGyver convention.
121
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:16,209
That will never,
never end.
122
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,241
First, you're gonna sign
a couple of autographs.
123
00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:20,686
What the...
124
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:27,765
You can write "Help me" all you want.
No one will ever see it.
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00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:29,570
(SELMA AND PATTY CACKLING)
126
00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:33,206
Oh, Dad, we'll
miss you so much.
127
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,086
I'll miss you kids, too.
128
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,241
WOMAN ON PA:
Attention.
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00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,842
India Air flight 57
now boarding first class,
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00:05:40,360 --> 00:05:41,930
small children and fat guys.
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00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:43,731
That's me!
Homie...
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00:05:43,880 --> 00:05:46,008
I got you something
to read on the plane.
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00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:47,361
Woo-hoo!
134
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:49,564
A book? (GROANS)
135
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,407
"Secrets I learned
at breakfast"?
136
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,403
(GROANS) The cereal's
just a metaphor.
137
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:56,050
It's a book
about management,
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00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:57,690
and Lee lacocca says it's
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00:05:57,840 --> 00:06:00,525
"definitely
dot-dot-dot useful."
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00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:02,046
Thanks, sweetie.
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00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,124
I've never been less angry
to receive a book.
142
00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,207
Aw.
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00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:07,645
Mmm.
144
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:14,290
(GROANS)
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00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:17,604
(PEOPLE BUSTLING)
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00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,086
This isn't India!
147
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:23,889
Where's the University
of Notre Dame,
148
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,890
the Indy 500, Wrigley
Field, Dodger Dogs?
149
00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:30,807
You ignorant American, you have
confused India with Indiana,
150
00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,691
Indiana with Illinois, and
the Cubs with the Dodgers.
151
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:37,646
Oh, no! l took a job on the
other side of the world!
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00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,969
(YELLS) Oh, I hate
this subcontinent!
153
00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:47,329
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
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00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:49,325
Hello. HOMER: (ON
PHONE) Lisa, it's me!
155
00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:50,561
I'm in trouble!
156
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:51,966
Calm down, Dad.
What happened?
157
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,651
A cow took my iPod
and I punched it'.!
158
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:56,285
(MOOING)
(GRUNTS)
159
00:06:57,040 --> 00:06:58,201
(COW MOOING)
160
00:06:58,680 --> 00:06:59,681
Uh-huh.
161
00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:01,120
Do I have to?
162
00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:04,363
Okay, okay, I'll show
the cow I adore it.
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00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:07,641
Mmm.
(KISSING NOISES)
164
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:09,849
Oh, baby, mmm.
165
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,526
Ooh, did you lose weight? Ho-ho!
166
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:15,491
Oh, come on, baby,
don't play hard to milk.
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00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:17,080
CROWD: Aw.
168
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,564
Okay, Apu said his cousin
Kavi could help me out.
169
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,406
Let's see... Apu's
cousin is medium height,
170
00:07:25,480 --> 00:07:28,324
dark complexion,
brown eyes, black hair.
171
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,685
Are you Kavi?
No.
172
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,524
Are you Kavi?
Yes.
173
00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,728
Oh, you must be
Mr. Homer.
174
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,040
Finally!
175
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:41,721
He's escaped.
176
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,968
(GASPS) We'll be
busted for kidnapping.
177
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,724
I can't face jail.
178
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,729
I can.
(DOORKNOB CLICKING)
179
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:50,041
(BOTH GASPING)
180
00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,169
Richard Dean Anderson.
181
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:54,486
Why did you come back?
182
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:56,562
To tell you
how I escaped.
183
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:01,202
I had to get out before another
one of your bristly kisses.
184
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,761
Then I remembered
the blue contacts I wear
185
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,490
to hide my Latino heritage.
186
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:11,765
(CRACKLING)
187
00:08:19,440 --> 00:08:21,886
Now all I needed was
a sling strong enough
188
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,566
to support
my 200-pound frame.
189
00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:30,442
A-bra-cada-bra.
190
00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:38,121
Hmm.
191
00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:39,725
MacGyver lives.
192
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,525
And not just at 2:00 a.m.
on the USA Network.
193
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,047
My real-life escape
from your love dungeon
194
00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,083
was the most exciting
thing I've ever done.
195
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:48,651
It was?
196
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,006
Tie me up
so I can do it again.
197
00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:51,889
But this time
don't make it so easy.
198
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,007
No.
199
00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:54,809
(CHUCKLES)
Delighted.
200
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:56,441
(GRUNTS)
201
00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:00,241
(GRUNTS)
202
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:01,921
Too much?
203
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,001
Not for MacGyver.
204
00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:06,646
(COW MOOING)
205
00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:10,208
(SNAKE-CHARMING MUSIC PLAYING)
206
00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:25,764
Why did you want to make
an entrance like that, sir?
207
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,490
I am a showman.
208
00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:32,529
Welcome, new employees of the
Bangalore Nuclear Power Plant.
209
00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:35,242
The energy generated here
is transmitted through
210
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:38,164
undersea cables
right back to America.
211
00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:39,281
(ELECTRICITY BUZZES)
212
00:09:39,640 --> 00:09:43,201
You know, Moe, that sign is
powered by non-American workers.
213
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,171
So what? Your beefs German
and the TV's Japanese.
214
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:49,126
Well, is there anything in this
bar that's made in America?
215
00:09:49,320 --> 00:09:50,446
Just this.
(COCKS GUN)
216
00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:52,486
(GROANS) on.
217
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:53,727
God! Misfire!
218
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,526
Now I'd like to introduce
you to your new manager.
219
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,684
You'll find his integrity
and dedication make him...
220
00:10:00,120 --> 00:10:01,531
Untouchable.
221
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:02,846
(ALL GASPING)
222
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:06,370
Sorry I'm late. I was doing
Carnac with my bodyguard.
223
00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:09,841
Hindu.
224
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:12,201
(BLOWS AIR)
225
00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,364
What do you call
the moisture on your hin?
226
00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:16,761
(LAUGHS)
227
00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:18,360
Classic! Now...
228
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,245
Tell them how to run
a nuclear plant.
229
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,725
(WHIMPERS) Uh...
230
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:25,731
Da...
231
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,206
Um...
232
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:29,361
Uh...
233
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:31,121
Da...
234
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:33,041
Did I say "um"?
235
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:34,680
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
236
00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:38,605
Oh, man, what do I do?
237
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,489
Wait, the book Marge gave me.
238
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:46,291
Okay, book, I didn't read
you and you didn't read me,
239
00:10:46,560 --> 00:10:48,005
but we're both
in this together.
240
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:50,845
So say something smart or
get ready to run like hell.
241
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,091
Um... (CLEARS THROAT)
242
00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,601
"In business as in breakfast,
243
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:58,441
"fried eggs have
fragile yolks."
244
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,201
Huh? Huh?
245
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:02,046
(SPEAKING HINDI)
246
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:11,241
(CHEERING)
247
00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:15,922
Oh, he's got them
eating out of his hand.
248
00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:18,606
And to think you
doubted him, Smithers.
249
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,923
Uh, sir, can we talk about this
arranged marriage of mine?
250
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:23,201
(GIGGLES)
251
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:24,651
Yoo-hoo.
252
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:26,211
(ELEPHANT TRUMPETING)
253
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:27,327
(COW MOOING)
254
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:28,771
(HONKING)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
255
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:30,770
Y'ello.
Dad, I got to write a report
256
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,121
on the Great Lakes.
257
00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:33,725
Just outsource it to Lisa.
258
00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:35,723
Outsourcing is the answer
to everything.
259
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,044
Also, I can't sleep at night
260
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:41,283
'cause there's this new bully
who follows me home, and...
261
00:11:41,600 --> 00:11:43,443
(GLASS SHATTERS)
I think he's in the house.
262
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:46,325
Outsourcing.
263
00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,761
I'm very glad to see
you favor outsourcing.
264
00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:51,725
I myself have found work with
several American companies.
265
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,485
(RINGING)
KAVI: on.
266
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,440
(MIDWEST AMERICAN ACCENT) IBM
help line, this is Brian. Uh-huh.
267
00:11:56,520 --> 00:11:58,966
Uh, have you tried disabling your firewall?
(PHONE RINGING)
268
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,727
(TEXAN ACCENT) Dallas/Fort Worth Marriott.
How can I help y'all?
269
00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:03,644
Well, we have
a Cotton Bowl special.
270
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,291
Go Aggies!
(RINGING)
271
00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:06,805
(JAMAICAN ACCENT)
This is Queen Mama Jumbo.
272
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:08,962
The stars tell me
you have a question.
273
00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:12,325
Oh, no' Jenny,
don't be dating that boy.
274
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,802
The bones don't lie.
He's bad mojo, girl.
275
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:17,321
Ooh.
276
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:20,161
Next.
277
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:21,481
Whoa!
278
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:23,005
Okay, here's the plan.
279
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,565
You lock me
in the trunk of a car
280
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:26,682
and park it under
the pier at low tide.
281
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:28,922
All I need are
these everyday objects.
282
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:32,607
A nail file, a Farmers'Almanac,
a gun with no bullets,
283
00:12:32,680 --> 00:12:34,921
some bullets and three
of my MacGyver writers.
284
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,525
Sounds great.
285
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,088
Can we do it during lunch?
286
00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:40,366
Now!
287
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:41,887
BOTH: Hmm.
288
00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,922
Simpson, I don't know
how you're doing it,
289
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,207
but you're outputting
10 times the power
290
00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:49,645
our American plant ever did.
291
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,162
Well, a little book
once told me...
292
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:53,770
(MUMBLING)
293
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:57,811
Ah! Having only one pancake
leaves room for more bacon.
294
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,767
I see what you're saying.
295
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,808
We're crowding your plate.
296
00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,281
In fact, there's no need
for us to be here at all.
297
00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:08,441
Let's go, Smithers.
298
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,887
You're giving me
absolute power?
299
00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:14,006
Mmm-hmm.
Sir, doesn't that corrupt?
300
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:15,650
Absolutely not.
301
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:19,122
When ii comes to running a nuclear
power plant, this man's a god.
302
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:21,166
(SQUEAKING)
303
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,690
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm
late for a dinner engagement.
304
00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,327
I don't want my scooped out
monkey head to get cold.
305
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:28,881
(CHUCKLES)
306
00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:30,887
(LAUGHS)
307
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,206
I'm not a god.
308
00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:35,887
God has a white beard and
invented the Da Vinci Code.
309
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:39,050
Actually, in our system of
belief, there are many gods.
310
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:40,241
Hmm.
311
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:45,326
Let's see, you got the Elephant-man,
Johnny Six-Arms, Papa Smurf.
312
00:13:45,640 --> 00:13:46,801
These guys are pretty cool.
313
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:48,725
Maybe I am one of them.
314
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,482
If only I had some kind of proof.
{FIZZES}
315
00:13:52,600 --> 00:13:54,090
(GASPS) I won a free soda!
316
00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,522
HOMER: I am a god!
317
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:59,251
(LAUGHS MANIACALLY)
318
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:03,205
(HUMMING)
319
00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:07,322
Sir, I really don't think we should
have left Simpson in charge.
320
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:08,765
No office talk.
321
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,366
I'm floating down the Ganges
with my new chums.
322
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:12,761
Those are corpses.
323
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,649
You never like my friends.
324
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,561
What's going on?
325
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:24,450
We flew all the way out here 'cause
Homer sent us this crazy card.
326
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:33,042
Behind one of these doors
is Homer Simpson.
327
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:34,770
Behind the other,
a Bengal tiger.
328
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,121
Choose wisely.
329
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:42,686
(GROWLS)
Ahhh!
330
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:47,640
(GROWLS)
(SCREAMS)
331
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:50,007
Both doors have tigers!
332
00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,481
One of those tigers
is named Homer Simpson.
333
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,324
(BOTH GASPING)
RICHARD: Welcome home!
334
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:00,609
Guess who made
MacGyver burgers?
335
00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:02,041
MacGyver!
336
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:03,845
We didn't have
any ground beef.
337
00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:07,203
Yeah, but you did have
Slim Jims, a cheese grater
338
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,282
and rubber bands to
hold it all together.
339
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:12,441
(GROANS)
340
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,080
We got to get
rid of this kook.
341
00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:15,885
I got an idea.
342
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:17,930
Which episode are
we watching tonight?
343
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,048
"L is for Lake Tahoe:
Part ll"?
344
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,804
"Bless me, MacGyver,
For I Have Sinned"?
345
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,087
Oh, we thought maybe
you would like to
346
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,322
see some of our
globetrotting adventures.
347
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:29,041
Hmm.
348
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,480
This is Selma in line
at the Luray Caverns.
349
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:35,288
It turned out it was the
line for the ladies' room.
350
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,409
This is the ladies' room.
351
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:42,530
This is us at the Alberta,
Canada, carriage museum.
352
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,603
That's a phaeton.
Landau. Buckboard.
353
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,170
Post chaise.
Surrey. Surrey.
354
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:53,331
Surrey. Selma. Surrey.
355
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:55,364
You're in a tight spot,
MacGyver.
356
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:58,051
This calls for your most
ingenious escape ever.
357
00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:02,044
This Olive Garden coupon!
It expires at midnight.
358
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,089
You're not
holding a coupon.
359
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,201
Um...
360
00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,044
MacGyver away!
361
00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:08,601
(THUDS)
362
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,326
Well, he's gone.
363
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:12,367
Yeah.
364
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:14,886
And we'll always have what he
wrote on our window shade.
365
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,085
What did he
write that in?
366
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,242
Grape juice
and tears.
367
00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,564
This is the end
368
00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:29,248
My only friend, the end...
369
00:16:30,520 --> 00:16:32,568
Of our elaborate...
370
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:35,889
So, Mr. Burns, you're saying
my dad has gone insane
371
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,485
and thinks he's a god
and broken off
372
00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,125
all contact with
the outside world?
373
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:41,728
I told you Simpson
was a poor choice, sir.
374
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,287
You know, Smithers, "I told
you so" has a brother.
375
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:46,090
His name is
"Shut the hell up!"
376
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,208
WORKERS: (CHANTING)
A-bom-shabai.
377
00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:50,603
A-bom-shabai.
378
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,003
A-bom-shabai.
379
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:54,605
Mom, I'm scared.
380
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:57,123
A-bom-shabai.
381
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:59,329
A-bom-shabai.
382
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:01,604
A-bom-shabai.
383
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,521
A-bom-shabai.
(GASPS)
384
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:06,410
WORKERS: A-bom-shabai.
385
00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:08,605
A-bom-shabai.
386
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:11,044
Should we take
all our stuff,
387
00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:13,043
or are we coming back
on this boat, too?
388
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:14,964
Same boat,
but take it anyway.
389
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:18,529
They use the boat for a Dixieland
booze cruise while we're gone.
390
00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:20,849
(UPBEAT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
391
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,729
(CHANTING)
392
00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:42,480
Silence!
393
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:46,406
Now for my amusement, let the
monkey fight the elephant.
394
00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:50,565
(ROARS)
395
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,610
(CHATTERING)
396
00:17:56,320 --> 00:17:59,130
Homie, stop!
You're not a god!
397
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:02,244
Marge? You're just a sweet
guy from Springfield
398
00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:05,244
who wanted his family
to have a better life.
399
00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:09,320
What, I...
I am a god! I know all.
400
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,370
Oh, yeah,
what's Mom's birthday?
401
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,330
It's... Um...
402
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:18,203
Jan... Feb... Mar...
403
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:19,601
It's May!
404
00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:20,727
May!
405
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:24,850
First... Second... Third?
406
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:27,366
You don't have to worship him.
He's not a god.
407
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:28,806
We know that.
We follow him
408
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:30,604
because of the secrets
he tells us.
409
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:31,806
What secrets?
410
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:34,520
He told us of
overtime pay.
411
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,165
And coffee breaks.
412
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,366
And flex time.
413
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:38,601
Casual Fridays.
414
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:39,721
On-site daycare.
415
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,245
Low dental co-pays.
416
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,129
Muffin baskets
on your birthday.
417
00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:45,362
With Mylar balloons.
418
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,803
ALL: (CHANTING)
Mylar balloons.
419
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:52,205
Mylar balloons.
Mylar balloons.
420
00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:54,881
This man told you
about these things?
421
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,970
Yes. In fact, he gave them
to us in a binding contract.
422
00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:00,881
"A-bom-shabai"
means "vote union."
423
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,163
ALL: A-bom-shabai.
424
00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:05,409
A-bom-shabai.
425
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,927
Up until now,
I was with you.
426
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:10,965
Even the beast-on-beast
combat, that had potential.
427
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:12,241
(WHIMPERING)
428
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:16,567
But treating employees like
human beings, that is madness!
429
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:18,682
Oh, you appear ill, Sahib.
430
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:20,928
Maybe you should
take a personal day.
431
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,162
Take one of mine.
They are transferable.
432
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,241
Argh!
433
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:25,931
I'm proud of you, Dad.
434
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,890
You're the first man to ever
outsource the American worker's
435
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,247
sense of entitlement
and privilege.
436
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,484
Well, I'm just glad
I'm not a god anymore.
437
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:35,886
I want to go home.
438
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,803
How's Chief Wiggum?
(SIGHS) Hmm.
439
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:41,449
He was gravely wounded
in a bank shootout.
440
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,882
Yeah, he's funny.
441
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,801
Well, I guess we'll have to
relocate to an area where
442
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:49,281
the workers are more
desperate and ignorant,
443
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,365
Springfield.
444
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:52,847
You're fired!
445
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,200
You're all fired!
446
00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:56,282
Fired! Fired! Fired!
447
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,364
(ALL CHEERING)
WOMAN: Two months' severance!
448
00:19:58,440 --> 00:19:59,441
Early retirement!
449
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,125
Golden parachutes for all!
450
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:02,680
(CHEERING)
451
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:04,121
(WHIMPERS)
452
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:05,971
(STRUMMING)
453
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,411
(BOLLYWOOD SONG PLAYING)
454
00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,207
Oh, go ahead and
join them, Smithers.
455
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,209
I know you want to.
456
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:51,686
Yes, sir!
457
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:52,966
(EXCLAIMS) Ha!
458
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:59,005
(SONG CONTINUES)
Ripped By mstoll