1
00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:05,481
(SINGING) The Simpsons
2
00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:10,285
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
3
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:14,444
(HORN BELLOWING)
4
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:22,926
(BEEPING)
Ripped By mstoll
5
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:27,449
(PLAYING DIFFERENT TUNE)
6
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,170
(TIRES SCREECHING)
7
00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:36,527
D'oh!
8
00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:37,641
(EXCLAIMING)
9
00:00:37,720 --> 00:00:39,051
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
10
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:53,731
(SPRAYING)
11
00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,167
Are you sure we can
make money doing this?
12
00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:59,164
What if nobody wants their
address painted on the curb?
13
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:04,089
Duh! Nobody wants their
address painted on the curb.
14
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:06,925
We do it without asking,
and then they have to pay.
15
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,287
What are you punks doin?
(COCKS GUN)
16
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,603
Answer me, or I'll drop ya
like a bad cell phone plan!
17
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,242
Sorry. This thing
goes off on its own.
18
00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:16,367
Anyway,
you were sayin"?
19
00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:18,247
Ignore that.
20
00:01:18,320 --> 00:01:20,049
We painted your
address on the curb.
21
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:22,885
And since you didn't tell us
not to, you owe us 10 bucks.
22
00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,530
Wow. A number
on the curb?
23
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,728
That really classes
the joint up.
24
00:01:28,080 --> 00:01:30,731
Yep, things are
finally going my way.
25
00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:35,164
I struck oil! I struck oil!
(VOCALIZING)
26
00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:37,729
I struck oil!
(LAUGHING)
27
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:40,451
Uh, when do we
tell him that's not oil?
28
00:01:40,520 --> 00:01:42,124
Ah, let him
have his fun.
29
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,282
Oil! Oil!
30
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,967
Only $10 to paint my curb
like a common whore?
31
00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:50,441
Well, I'm happy to pay
for a three-digit spray.
32
00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:53,729
Tell you what. I'll give you another
$100 if you paint my garage.
33
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,808
Wait a minute.
That's not a scam!
34
00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:57,769
That's honest work
for honest pay!
35
00:01:57,840 --> 00:02:00,002
ALL: No!
36
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,363
I'll throw in some
Christian comic books!
37
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:05,042
Please!
Somebody take them!
38
00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:08,887
Screw you.
I'm never gonna pay.
39
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:12,248
Well, then we're gonna
leave you one digit short.
40
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:13,647
(NELSON GRUNTS)
41
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,609
Fine. I'll finish
it myself.
42
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:19,571
And don't think I'm gonna
screw it up, because I won't!
43
00:02:21,600 --> 00:02:22,726
(HOMER LAUGHING)
44
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:29,481
Dad, all you had to do
was paint one number.
45
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,040
Now no one’s gonna
be able to find our house.
46
00:02:32,120 --> 00:02:33,485
But, sweetie,
I just wanted to tell
47
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,291
the '74 Oakland A's
how I felt about them.
48
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,008
Look, that guy remembers us!
(BRAKES SCREECH)
49
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:42,721
Hey, Sal Bando, give him a
'74 A's "thank you honk."
50
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,041
(HORN HONKS)
51
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,809
My work here is done.
52
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:50,609
(HUMMING)
53
00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:58,647
(DOORBELL RINGS)
54
00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,688
(GASPS) I'm needed
at the door!
55
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:06,442
I have a delivery for a Scott
and Brenda Weingarten,
56
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,366
74 Evergreen Terrace.
57
00:03:09,440 --> 00:03:12,967
74? Oh, sorry.
There's been a mistake.
58
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:14,246
Oh, no problem.
59
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,324
I'll just ship these juicy,
mail-order steaks back to Omaha.
60
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:21,200
Uh, on second thought,
I am Brenda Winecooler.
61
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:22,611
(LAUGHING)
62
00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,687
Dad, isn't it wrong to open
or eat other people's mail?
63
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,764
Son, all our mail has ever
brought me is bad things.
64
00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:33,650
Bills, jury duty,
Entertainment Weekly.
65
00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,451
Now, for once, I'm getting
rich-person mail.
66
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,966
You wouldn't take that away
from me, would you, son?
67
00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:42,249
Oh, Dad, no one can
rationalize like you.
68
00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,971
Okay, Weingartens,
what else is in your mail?
69
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,723
Oh! Marge, do you wanna go to a
wedding of a couple we never met?
70
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:51,564
Strangers
getting married?
71
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:53,802
I wouldn't miss it
for the world.
72
00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:58,244
Mark and Tracy, I remember the
first words I heard you say,
73
00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,651
"l do."
74
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,922
Your cousin Scott
is so sweet.
75
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,809
But didn't you say
he was blind?
76
00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:06,690
That's what I heard, but he's
so confident in his movements.
77
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,086
(MUSIC PLAYING)
78
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:15,605
(ON TV) This is Kent Brockman
in the Springfield Keys,
79
00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,728
reporting to you from the
middle of a hurricane.
80
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:21,202
The lid from my coffee
cup is long gone.
81
00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:23,007
(GROANS)
82
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:25,601
I'm scared, people.
Truly scared.
83
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:28,524
(CHUCKLING)
Take that, liberal media.
84
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,649
Homer! This says I've won
Homemaker Magazine's
85
00:04:31,720 --> 00:04:34,690
"Clean for a Day"
contest! Mmm.
86
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,730
"A highly skilled professional
will come to your home
87
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:41,600
"and clean it top to bottom
while you relax."
88
00:04:41,680 --> 00:04:42,681
But how could I have won?
89
00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:44,848
I don't subscribe
to this periodical.
90
00:04:44,920 --> 00:04:48,163
Marge, I don't have to sit here
and listen to your insane ravings
91
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,720
about me getting
other people's mail.
92
00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,728
Hi. I'm Brenda Weingarten.
93
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,001
(SCREAMS)
94
00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:56,761
(VACUUM CLEANER WHIRRING)
95
00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:57,966
LISA: Mom,
what are you doing?
96
00:04:58,040 --> 00:05:00,771
Cleaning up before
the housekeeper comes.
97
00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:03,810
This is a total stranger who
cleans houses for a living.
98
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,245
Who cares
what she thinks?
99
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:06,845
Don't be
so naive, Lisa.
100
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:09,127
Those people all
talk to each other.
101
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,204
You know what I found in
their dirty clothes hamper?
102
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,123
Dirty clothes!
103
00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,202
I found a hair
in the drain.
104
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:21,001
Not a fine upstanding head
hair, but a curly-wurly!
105
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:25,331
ALL: (CHANTING)
Untidy! Untidy! Untidy!
106
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:30,123
Untidy! Untidy! Untidy!
Mmm-mmm.
107
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,688
Now, this is a house
that's ready to be cleaned!
108
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:40,207
(GASPS)
109
00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:41,361
(DOORBELL RINGS)
110
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:44,046
(GASPS) That's her!
Don't answer it yet!
111
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:46,771
I don't want that judgmental
bitch in my house!
112
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:52,247
(GASPS) Maple syrup mixed with
baby spit-up and shoe scuff?
113
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,529
This is going to take my
whole arsenal at once!
114
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:56,965
(GRUNTING)
115
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:07,045
(INHALES DEEPLY)
116
00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:16,567
Et tu, Zud?
117
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,611
(GASPS) She's opening
her eyes!
118
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:30,048
Oh, my head feels like it was
punched by a boxing man.
119
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:31,241
How many fingers
am I holding up?
120
00:06:31,320 --> 00:06:32,321
Two.
121
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:33,845
Very good.
122
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,161
Now I'll put them
back in the jar.
123
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,643
Now I have a question.
124
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,370
Who are you people?
125
00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,006
She doesn't recognize us!
(ALL GASP)
126
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:46,846
You monster! What have
you done to my face?
127
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:56,410
When will Marge
remember us?
128
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,649
It's hard to say, with
retrograde amnesia such as this,
129
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,041
the patient could forget
years and years of her life.
130
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,691
You just have to keep jogging
her memory till it works.
131
00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,245
Aw, jogging?
132
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,283
I didn't say
you should be jogging.
133
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:09,361
Sweet.
134
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:10,680
Although you
should be jogging.
135
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,604
On, jogging?
136
00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:14,170
Marge, I'm gonna
take care of you
137
00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:17,449
until your amnesia
goes scram-nesia.
138
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,170
I got you flowers...
139
00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:20,446
Mmm.
140
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:23,569
...fluffy pillow, and a nice,
relaxing private room.
141
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:25,765
(SNORING)
142
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:28,486
Oh, you're sweet.
143
00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,404
I'm lucky to have such a kind, uh...
Uncle?
144
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:32,481
I'm your husband!
145
00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,131
What?
146
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,804
I am.
We're the same age.
147
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:40,726
But you're so much
more ravaged than I am.
148
00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:41,927
(LAUGHING)
149
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,809
I do eat a lot of crap.
150
00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,000
I'm Lisa.
151
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:49,562
I'm eight years old, and this
might sound presumptuous,
152
00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,404
but I'm your favorite.
153
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:55,246
Oh, you seem sweet, but I
could never have a favorite.
154
00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:57,641
Well, talk to me
in a week.
155
00:07:57,720 --> 00:07:59,165
Hi. I'm Bart.
156
00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:02,961
I'm 10 years old and a
professional motocross jumper.
157
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,451
Can you buy me
a motocross bike?
158
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:07,205
I may have lost my memory,
but I'm not an idiot.
159
00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:08,401
(CHUCKLES)
160
00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:10,050
Great news, Marge,
we're going home.
161
00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:11,645
Yes, the insurance
company said
162
00:08:11,760 --> 00:08:13,842
you're as well as
they're gonna pay for.
163
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:15,206
(LAUGHING)
164
00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:19,009
Oh, I can't wait to see what
kind of home we live in.
165
00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:20,730
Oh, it's great.
166
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:22,962
Like somebody barfed
a two-story pile of puke.
167
00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,246
Why, you little...
168
00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:25,685
(CHOKING)
(GRUNTING)
169
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,922
You strangle
your child?
170
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:31,844
(CHUCKLING) Yeah,
but he's cool with it.
171
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,206
Right?
(SWALLOWS)
172
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:34,770
It hurts
when I swallow.
173
00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:35,887
Why, you little...
174
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:37,724
(GRUNTING)
(CHOKING)
175
00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:39,721
Mmm...
176
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,164
Now, the doctor said
a tour of the town
177
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:45,129
could help bring
back your memory.
178
00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:49,528
I say Bing cherries
are the most delicious!
179
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,170
I say maraschino!
180
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,480
(BOTH GRUNTING)
181
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,289
Who are those freaks?
182
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,880
(LAUGHING) Those "freaks,"
as you call them,
183
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,122
are some of our
closest friends.
184
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:03,204
Maraschino isn't even
a kind of cherry!
185
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:05,681
It's a way
of preserving them!
186
00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:09,128
Sounds like Duffman took the wrong
side in this chicken fight.
187
00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:10,326
Oh, yeah!
188
00:09:10,720 --> 00:09:11,881
(BRAKES SCREECH)
189
00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:15,250
Why is that drug addict
driving a school bus?
190
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:19,166
Whoa, I may be wasted, but I still
care about the safety of these kids.
191
00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:21,481
Hmm?
192
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:24,885
Hmm... Hmm...
193
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,002
See that ball of fire?
194
00:09:27,080 --> 00:09:28,605
That's the sun.
195
00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:30,648
It goes by many names.
196
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:35,123
Apollo's Lantern,
day-moon, Old Blazey.
197
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,488
The important thing
is never to touch it.
198
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,843
I know what
the sun is!
199
00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,922
Yes, now you do.
200
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:46,480
(PACIFIER SQUEAKING)
201
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:48,523
I know that sound!
202
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:52,444
Maggie!
My sweet little angel!
203
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:53,760
Mmm... Mmm!
204
00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,490
The sound of the baby
must have triggered
205
00:09:55,560 --> 00:09:56,846
a primal
mnemonic response
206
00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:58,206
in Mom's brain!
207
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,811
Lisa! My little know-it-all!
208
00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,726
Hey, guys, guess who just
became lactose-tolerant?
209
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:10,010
Milhouse!
You're Bart's best friend!
210
00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,081
(GASPS)
211
00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,569
I remember Bart!
212
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,570
Oh, I can't believe you
remembered me through Milhouse.
213
00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,244
He's not even
my best friend.
214
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,891
Who's got
amnesia now, Bart?
215
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:23,651
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
216
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,929
lt's so great to have
my children back.
217
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,923
I better get ready.
I'm next.
218
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:31,287
(EXHALES)
219
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:32,561
(SNIFFS)
220
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:38,567
All right, Marge, time to
remember Admiral Awesome!
221
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:40,451
Mmm...
222
00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:45,048
Nope. I'm sorry, Admiral, but
you're still a stranger to me.
223
00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:48,010
Oh. Why do you remember
them and not me?
224
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:49,605
I don't know.
225
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:52,650
Maybe there's something unpleasant
blocking my memory of you.
226
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:54,449
Hi-diddly-ho,
Simpsons!
227
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,967
Oh, hey, Ned. Isn't today
your cat's birthday?
228
00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,361
I remember, 'cause she shares
the date with Patti LaBelle.
229
00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:01,965
(GROANS LOUDLY)
230
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,891
Okay. All it'll take to
unlock your memories of me
231
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,962
is one of these
blasts from the past.
232
00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,691
Here's me fighting
with former President Bush.
233
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,922
Me fighting with
current President Bush.
234
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:19,368
And here's me showing a
bag of apples who's boss.
235
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,010
I'm sorry.
236
00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:24,323
You seem like
a colorful character,
237
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,209
but I just don't
remember you.
238
00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:30,649
Well, maybe if we snuggle, it
might rattle some memories loose.
239
00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:32,051
What's "snuggling"?
240
00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,044
When a man and a woman
love each other very much,
241
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:37,521
they usually
get together...
242
00:11:38,760 --> 00:11:41,206
Mr. Simpson,
I don't even know you!
243
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:43,567
I'm not making
love with you!
244
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:45,808
But what if we...
245
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,166
(INAUDIBLE)
246
00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,126
You're describing how
to parallel park.
247
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,845
(SOBBING)
248
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:57,483
You used to love my non sequiturs.
(SOBBING CONTINUES)
249
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:01,802
Why can I remember everyone
in town except my husband?
250
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:04,247
Simple. Your brain
is trying to save you
251
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,322
from your backed-up
toilet of a marriage.
252
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:09,529
Have you been talking like
this for my entire marriage?
253
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,648
Oh, no. No.
254
00:12:11,800 --> 00:12:13,928
We've always honored
your choice.
255
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,444
I don't know. l should
give Homer a chance.
256
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,126
But on the other hand,
I feel nothing for him.
257
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,765
(BOTH LAUGHING)
258
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,887
(GASPS)
This is horrible!
259
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:28,041
We've got to tell Dad.
260
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:32,209
Oh, no! Bart and Lisa are gonna
tell me something horrible!
261
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:34,605
(SIGHS)
What?
262
00:12:34,680 --> 00:12:37,160
"Buy the police department
a hang glider," you said.
263
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:39,561
"Fight crime from above,"
you said.
264
00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,768
Yeah, and you said
you're only 180 pounds.
265
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,524
Shut up
and look for crime.
266
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:46,281
(DOORBELL RINGS)
267
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,445
Mr. Simpson?
268
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:52,807
Marge, if I can't
make you remember me,
269
00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,770
then I'll make you fall
for me all over again.
270
00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:58,320
The heart is
the symbol for love.
271
00:12:58,480 --> 00:12:59,561
Uh!
272
00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:01,730
(BOTH LAUGHING)
273
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:07,801
(SINGING) That Homer
Simpson, he's quite a guy
274
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:12,568
He paid me 10 bucks
so I would lie
275
00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:16,725
The truth is
he's not so great
276
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:21,601
He is the one man
I truly hate
277
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,086
So beautiful.
278
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,322
I wish I could
understand Italian.
279
00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:30,608
I've had a lovely evening,
Mr. Simpson.
280
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:34,366
Just wait, we're coming to the site
of our most romantic night ever.
281
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,929
It was the plywood
castle that we first...
282
00:13:40,280 --> 00:13:41,691
Well, you know.
283
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:43,401
Know what?
284
00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:47,961
(GASPS)
285
00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:52,841
No! I'm not the kind of girl who makes
love on a putt-putt golf course!
286
00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:54,206
Oh, you loved it,
287
00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,762
especially when the windmill came
around and whacked your butt.
288
00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:58,841
(PURRING)
289
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,691
Oh, that sounds horrible!
290
00:14:01,760 --> 00:14:04,445
No. It was the happiest
night of my life.
291
00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:05,965
The warm spring air,
292
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,850
the swings I took in the
batting cage afterwards.
293
00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:10,524
Don't you remember,
darling?
294
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,284
No, and I hope
I never do!
295
00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:16,126
The best thing that ever happened
to me was forgetting about you!
296
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:17,247
(GRUNTING)
297
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:24,049
You know, I still think
about you all the time.
298
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:25,929
Birthdays over,
Seymour.
299
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,126
But, uh...
300
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:32,285
I'm sorry
you have to leave,
301
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,044
but I just can't think
of another way.
302
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:35,121
I know.
303
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,806
Wait, I thought of
another way. I stay.
304
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,809
Goodbye, Mr. Simpson.
305
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,086
Uh!
306
00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:43,401
Dad, we don't want
you to leave.
307
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,448
(SOBS) My grades
will suffer.
308
00:14:45,640 --> 00:14:47,369
In fact,
they're already suffering.
309
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,250
Look at this garden of "Fs."
You planted them all.
310
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,561
Marge, I realize you've
made up your mind,
311
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,086
and I want you to know that
I deeply respect your...
312
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,731
Boo! That works for
hiccups, not amnesia.
313
00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,371
I know.
I just thought maybe...
314
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:01,441
Boo!
315
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:03,001
Oh.
316
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,481
(GROANS)
317
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:12,441
Boo.
318
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,321
(COUGHING)
319
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:17,807
How long you gonna be
bunking with me, son?
320
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,247
Well, the rest of
your life for sure.
321
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,326
Why are we having
dinner in Shelbyville?
322
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,051
We found a place here that's
serving up just what you need.
323
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,643
A mixer?
I don't know.
324
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,848
l am still
technically married.
325
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:40,641
All we're saying is go in
and chat with these guys.
326
00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:43,485
And if you want a quickie
annulment and remarriage,
327
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,767
we've got all
the paperwork right here.
328
00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:47,723
Why don't you sign
a bunch now?
329
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:49,171
For fun.
330
00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:54,090
Welcome to speed dating,
you exciting, lonely people.
331
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:56,322
Every five minutes,
I'm going to blow this horn...
332
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:57,447
(AIR HORN BLOWS)
333
00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:00,564
...and each man will move
one table to his left.
334
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:01,926
Excuse me.
335
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,968
Is this how you met
your husband?
336
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:06,725
No, I met him through friends
like a normal person.
337
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,131
Now, speed date.
338
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,201
(AIR HORN BLOWS)
339
00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:13,127
(STAMMERING) I want you to know I'm
coming from a very fragile place.
340
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:14,926
My wife left me...
341
00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,361
(SOBS)
342
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,970
...five years ago.
343
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:19,764
Oh, that's so sad.
344
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:21,729
Why did I kill her, why?
345
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:23,767
(AIR HORN BLOWS)
346
00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,001
Hello there.
347
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,605
Yeah, hi.
How you doing?
348
00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:28,170
So, uh, let's get
right to it.
349
00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,527
I don't drive
a Lexus, okay?
350
00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:34,286
I don't have a Learjet or some
big beach house in la-la land.
351
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:37,170
l am just a nice man
who makes a decent living.
352
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,846
So I guess I should probably
just go shoot myself, huh?
353
00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:41,721
Hmm?
354
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:43,805
Oh, don't get
quiet on me.
355
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:45,564
Please, I hate when
they get quiet.
356
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:46,727
(AIR HORN BLOWS)
357
00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:47,847
Ta-da!
358
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:49,684
I know what you're
thinking, but don't worry,
359
00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:51,603
I'm old enough to date.
(CHUCKLING)
360
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,444
(WHISPERING)
Dermabrasion!
361
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,730
MARGE: I think
he's a male gay.
362
00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,404
(AIR HORN BLOWS)
Ah!
363
00:16:57,480 --> 00:17:00,290
I have to admit something,
I feel a little silly.
364
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,203
Oh, me, too.
365
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:05,648
I can't believe anyone ever really
finds anyone at these things.
366
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,371
Yeah, I was dragged here
by my older brothers.
367
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:11,046
We used to be quintuplets,
but three of us drowned.
368
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:12,321
(GRUNTS)
369
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,881
I really know where
you're coming from.
370
00:17:17,960 --> 00:17:19,007
(AIR HORN BLOWS)
371
00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:20,570
Oh, l guess
we have to move on.
372
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,928
Do we? We're adults. Why don't
we just go get a cup of coffee?
373
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,650
I'd love to.
374
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:29,884
(CHUCKLING)
375
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:31,721
Ooh-la-la.
376
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:33,211
I smell romance.
377
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,129
It's a perfect night
for love.
378
00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:38,244
Would you pretty ladies care
to join us for some champagne?
379
00:17:38,320 --> 00:17:40,641
Go suck a rat,
Assanova.
380
00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:44,321
(CLOCK TICKING)
381
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:47,926
(PHONE RINGING)
382
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,001
(GASPS)
That might be Marge!
383
00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:52,370
Don't answer it.
Savor the sound.
384
00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:54,323
(CONTINUES RINGING)
Oh, boy...
385
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:00,207
Marge?
386
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,681
Homer, I don't want to
alarm you, but right now
387
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:06,526
we're looking at your wife yukkin'
it up with a good-looking guy.
388
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,080
He just touched her arm and
now they're being quiet.
389
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,811
But it's not
an awkward silence.
390
00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:15,043
Yeah, it's more like a "nothing
needs to be said" kind of silence.
391
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,247
(SCREAMS)
392
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:23,409
I just think the best thing
a person can do
393
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,926
for the world is to
be clean and polite.
394
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:28,964
Wow, that's what
I would have said.
395
00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:33,284
Well, I would have said, "Polite
and clean," but wow, still.
396
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:37,604
Oh, no! He's Marge's,
and my, dream man.
397
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:40,121
I've got to make a play for her
now Or I might lose her forever.
398
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:41,846
Uh!
399
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:43,851
(SPITS) D'oh!
400
00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:47,721
At least she found someone
who can make her happy.
401
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:52,370
Oh, Marge, l feel like the two of
us can say anything to each other.
402
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,568
You really mean that?
I do.
403
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,088
I've got amnesia
and I have three kids.
404
00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,962
Wow. My first thought
is "respect,"
405
00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:06,487
both for your mental illness and
your ability to get back into shape.
406
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:09,404
My second thought
is "goodbye."
407
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,848
You idiot!
Ah!
408
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,490
Do you know what
you just gave up?
409
00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:17,561
Who the hell are you?
410
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:21,361
The wisest, wettest
man you'll ever meet.
411
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,811
Go on. You just walked
away from the sweetest,
412
00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,803
most beautiful woman
a guy could want.
413
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:31,761
In 10 years, she never had the last slice
of pizza and she's never complained.
414
00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:32,841
Every election,
415
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:36,641
she wishes she could vote for both
guys because they both seem nice.
416
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:40,520
And there's alight inside her that
makes everyone else look better.
417
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:42,728
And you blew her off.
418
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:44,928
Dude, she's got
three kids.
419
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:46,281
(GASPS)
420
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,687
Really?
Well, she's still great.
421
00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:54,960
Hmm.
422
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,566
MARGE: Mr. Simpson.
423
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:01,649
I may not know
much about you,
424
00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,445
but you sure know a lot of
wonderful things about me.
425
00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,363
And that means
a lot to a woman.
426
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:08,124
I still don't
remember you.
427
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:13,286
But for the first time since this
happened, l wish l did, Homer.
428
00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:21,251
I'm so happy we're together again.
Want to get a drink?
429
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:22,446
You drink?
430
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,331
Uh, yeah, I started when
you were in the hospital.
431
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:26,890
Oh, I was so worried.
432
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:29,805
Recently I tried this
thing called beer, and...
433
00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,804
(GASPS)
I remember everything!
434
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,565
You get drunk
all the time.
435
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:36,926
Oh.
436
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:39,082
But do you also remember
that you're an enabler?
437
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,481
Oh, of course I do.
438
00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:43,608
That's why we're
such a great team.
439
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:48,725
(TIRES SQUEALING)
440
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,326
MARGE: You've been drinking
today, haven't you?
441
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,722
HOMER: l sure have,
partner.
442
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:01,401
MARGE: I remember him.
443
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:02,641
HOMER: What about her?
MARGE: No, I don't know.
444
00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:03,767
And her?
Oh, and her.
445
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,649
And her'!
Uh-huh. And him.
446
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:06,926
Well, what about him?
447
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,411
Mmm, I don't
recognize that name.
448
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:09,811
Yeah. I have their
baseball cards.
449
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:10,927
Oh, I know all them.
450
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:12,565
Look at all those people.
You know them?
451
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,290
Wow. She still
works here?
452
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,203
Yeah, she's over
in post now.
453
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,283
Oh, I always liked
that guy.
454
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:20,566
Not me.
455
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:24,122
But we can't get rid of him because
he's friends with Richard Sakai.
456
00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:27,807
Oh, and there's a familiar name.
And another one. Wait.
457
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,451
Whatever happened to that
guy from the network?
458
00:21:30,520 --> 00:21:31,681
Did he get married?
459
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:33,683
Oh, he ain't
getting married.
460
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,091
(CHUCKLES)
461
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:40,969
He has commitment issues.
Ripped By mstoll