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(SINGING) The Simpsons
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00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:18,564
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
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(BEEPING)
Ripped By mstoll
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(PLAYING DIFFERENT TUNE)
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(TIRES SCREECHING)
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(HONKING)
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(BRAKES SCREECHING)
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D'oh!
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(EXCLAIMING)
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00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,360
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
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Welcome to Matinee of Blood
and Commercials.
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I am your hostess, Booberella.
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I hope you enjoy our
Labor Day Marathon of Murder
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because soon, you have
to go back to school.
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(DEMONIC LAUGH)
School!
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Back to school?
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Oh, my God. I've wasted
the whole summer.
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There are so many things
I still want to do!
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You think
you're behind?
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00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,644
Hmm...
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Mmm... Hmm.
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If it weren't
for my trick knee,
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I'd do them both right now.
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I've gotta squeeze a whole summer
of carefree fun into one day.
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Win baseball game.
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00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:17,410
You're up, Simpson.
Be careful.
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That kid on the pitcher's
mound is really 22.
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(INAUDIBLE)
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Son, you have time
for the pizza party?
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Sure. Why not?
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(INAUDIBLE)
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BART: Mmm-hmm.
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(READING)
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(SINGING) That's Grease
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Sit on it, Springfield!
Yeah!
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(ALL CHEERING)
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See summer blockbuster.
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(ROARING)
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Get outta my face,
you raggedy maggots.
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Oh, so, that's why everyone's
been saying that all summer.
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No, not yet. I have to
have a summer romance.
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I'll never forget you.
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Mmm.
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Gotta go.
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Mmm-hmm.
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(SIGHS)
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I just had
my first kiss.
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When you get to third base,
I'll buy you a beer.
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Mmm-hmm.
50
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Well, now it's time
for my summer activity.
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You all promised we
could go to a museum.
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BOTH: Oh!
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I'm so glad you picked the
Museum of Natural History, Mom.
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Well, I'm so glad there's a
show we women can enjoy.
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Weaving? Homer,
you're my father.
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You're supposed to protect
me from things like this.
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All right.
Just this once
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you can take a drink out
of my special water bottle.
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(GASPS)
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00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:40,920
BOTH; What?
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00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,606
Sorry, loom-wads.
New exhibit's in town.
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BOTH: Whoo-hoo!
Weapons!
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Bart, it's still history.
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Not if I spend the whole time
running around like this.
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(IMITATING GUNFIRE)
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Die, weapons, die!
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Don't start
the exhibit without me.
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(BOTH IMITATING GUNFIRE)
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(BOTH GASP)
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HOMER: Oh,
look at that line.
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00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:04,644
Time to do
what I do best,
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ruin it for everybody.
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Hey, Flanders. Thanks
for saving our place.
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00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,642
But wait, wait. Hold the
phone there, Homer...
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Oh, dude.
I was totally here.
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You calling me a liar
in front of my kids?
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Because I'd take a bullet for
you, man, right in the mouth.
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Ah... Ah...
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Oh, fine.
Take the cut.
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Ned Flanders
is doling out cuts?
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I for one wish
to partake of said.
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(HUMMING)
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Hey, if Boner here is getting
cuts, I want 'em, too!
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(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
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Disco Stu slides
in front of you.
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Hey, that rhymes.
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(GRUNTING)
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(CHUCKLES)
Tell you what.
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If we turn around, it'll feel like
we're at the front of the line.
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BOTH: Yay!
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Oh, no you don't!
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I'm everywhere.
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ANNOUNCER:
IMAX 3D Films presents...
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Nunchucks:
Cool But Useless.
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00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:07,845
The nunchuck was invented thousands
of years ago by a Chinese monk.
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00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:13,203
Artifacts of the time indicate
that this incident was hilarious.
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Wow!
This 3D is amazing.
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You can actually feel the face.
(GROANING)
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Go ahead, Maggie.
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You're allowed to touch
the deadly weapons.
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00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:35,849
Oh, it's a mugger! I'll hand
over all my hugs and kisses.
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Okay, be cool. I've got
some candy in my purse.
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(LAUGHING) Ow!
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(GROANING)
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Stop!
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00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,770
Come on, Milhouse. Do you want
to play in the NBA or not?
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Bart, my arm's out
of its thing.
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That means it's working.
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(STRAINING)
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(CRACKING)
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00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:09,966
Whassup?
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(SCOFFS)
You're leaving already?
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(STAMMERING) We haven't
even gotten in yet.
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Sorry' Flanders,
but when you get in,
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you can use my audio tour
narrated by Melanie Griffith.
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GRIFFITH: This room's nice.
Let's go into the next one.
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This room's nice, too.
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(GROANS)
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GRIFFITH: This room's nice.
This room's nice, too.
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This room's nice, too.
This room's nice.
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This room's nice.
This room's nice, too.
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(DOOR CLOSES)
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Sorry, folks.
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The weapons exhibit
is now closed for the day.
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BOTH: Yay?
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Sorry. No "Ya?"
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But you can all feel free to
enjoy the rest of the museum.
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(GASPS) Evolution.
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(GASPS)
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(GASPS)
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(SCREAMS) Excuse me.
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How can you put up an exhibit
on the origin of man,
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and not have one
mention of the Bible?
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Oh, we do.
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My most cherished
beliefs' a myth?
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Daddy, was Mommy
a monkey?
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I can't remember.
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No one was
ever a monkey!
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Everything is what it was
and always will be.
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God put us here
and that's that.
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00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:33,366
But you said
a stork brought me.
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Yeah, that was God
disguised as a stork.
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00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:37,005
Who brings baby storks?
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00:08:37,120 --> 00:08:38,610
(SCOFFS) There's no
such thing as storks!
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It's all God!
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00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:42,205
Please bless Daddy
and Roddy...
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00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:43,645
Stop praying
to that stork!
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They're telling people we're
descended from a pack of apes
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00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,248
even though there's nothing
about it in the Bible!
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00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,891
Ned, you've gotta take this
thing with a grain of salt.
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00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:57,883
(CHUCKLES)
I mean, come on.
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00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:01,760
Tim, this controversy could
put more meat in the seats.
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00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:04,684
Well, our membership
has been dwindling
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00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:08,685
since those Episcopalians
put in those vibrating pews.
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00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:10,444
(WHIRRING)
(ALL SIGHING)
156
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,129
Evolution is
the hot button issue.
157
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:15,810
We need to mobilize
our flock.
158
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,042
They'll be hanging
on your every word.
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00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,845
(GASPS) I'll be
a white Al Sharpton!
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(CHUCKLING) Mmm.
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00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:27,610
Why does every church
meeting end this way?
162
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:33,771
We want you to teach alternative
theories to Darwinian evolution.
163
00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:35,649
You mean
Lamarckian evolution?
164
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,127
No. The Adam
and Eve one.
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00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:39,890
Ha! And what if
I say no?
166
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,689
I believe you leased
your Camry
167
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:43,842
from Christian
Brothers Auto?
168
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:46,685
(GASPS) No! That was
a once-in-a-lifetime APR!
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00:09:46,760 --> 00:09:48,808
Class, starting today,
we will be presenting
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00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:51,770
an alternative theory
on the origin of man.
171
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,171
Creationism?
172
00:09:56,280 --> 00:09:57,725
But that's not science.
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It is now.
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00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,883
Are oceans God's tears?
175
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:06,367
They sure are.
A-plus.
176
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:07,607
Ugh!
177
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:09,569
Now Lisa's the Ralph.
178
00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:15,966
How can you teach the Book of
Genesis as a scientific theory?
179
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:18,805
Mmm. This helpful video
will evade all your questions.
180
00:10:18,880 --> 00:10:20,723
Eyes screen-ward!
181
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,048
(NARRATOR READING)
182
00:10:26,680 --> 00:10:28,921
Let's say hi to two books.
183
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,970
One, the Bible,
was written by our Lord.
184
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,131
The other,
The Origin of Species,
185
00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:41,722
was written by a cowardly
drunk named Charles Darwin.
186
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,607
(GROANS)
187
00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:46,806
This is slander!
188
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,645
Darwin was one of the
greatest minds of all time!
189
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,530
Then why is he
making out with Satan?
190
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:53,886
(MOANING)
191
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,568
Evolution is widely acknowledged
as scientific fact!
192
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,007
It's even accepted
by prominent conservatives
193
00:11:01,080 --> 00:11:04,084
like George Will and the
late Pope John Paul!
194
00:11:04,760 --> 00:11:06,364
That's something
to think about.
195
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:07,851
The George Will?
196
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:09,922
Lisa, you've said
quite enough.
197
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,287
Children, drown her out with
whistling and arm flatulence.
198
00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,050
All I'm saying is...
(WHISTLING)
199
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,924
(FARTING SOUNDS)
200
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:17,931
(MARGE HUMMING)
201
00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:23,760
(GASPS)
202
00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,451
(GROANING)
203
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,366
(SIGHS)
204
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:29,044
What's wrong, sweetie?
205
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:32,203
They're making us learn
creation theory in school.
206
00:11:32,280 --> 00:11:36,205
Today we had a test and every
answer was "God did it."
207
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:40,365
Well, l think it's good to give
both ideas a fair hearing.
208
00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:42,010
Maybe they could learn
from each other.
209
00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:44,242
But they're incompatible!
210
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:49,042
Lisa, lots of times two incompatible
things can both be true.
211
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:52,806
My son's a brat but
he's a special little guy.
212
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,166
Your father says
he's at work
213
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,811
but there he is jumping
on a trampoline.
214
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:57,881
(LAUGHING)
215
00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,962
Morn, you really
have to choose here
216
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:01,963
between science
and belief.
217
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,401
Well, then I choose...
218
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:10,641
Uh...
219
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:19,161
(CHOMPING)
220
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,049
So according
to creationism,
221
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,724
there were
no cavemen.
222
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,770
Good riddance. Their drawings
suck and they look like hippies.
223
00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:29,083
Dad, you're not really
reconsidering evolution, are you?
224
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,243
My mind is always
open to new ideas.
225
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,244
Onions in the peas?
What the hell?
226
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,288
(GRUNTS)
(GLASS SHATTERS)
227
00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:39,371
(DOG HOWLING)
228
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,126
It is agreed
229
00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:44,090
regular people can park
in handicapped spaces
230
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:46,328
if they're just running in
to buy smokes
231
00:12:46,400 --> 00:12:48,926
or maybe some
Pop-Tarts for tomorrow.
232
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,684
The system works.
233
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,842
And if there's no
further business,
234
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:56,242
I hereby declare
this meeting...
235
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:57,810
I have an issue
I'd like to raise.
236
00:12:57,920 --> 00:12:59,604
Curse my slow gaveling.
237
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:02,968
Last week, the unscientific
theory of creationism
238
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,168
was introduced
alongside evolution
239
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,049
in Springfield
public schools.
240
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,805
(LAUGHS) Now honestly,
the Bible's about
241
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:12,360
the same age as, uh,
the rest of our textbooks.
242
00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:13,961
(LAUGHS)
243
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,763
Evolution and creationism
cannot coexist, people.
244
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,605
It is time to go back
to teaching one single truth!
245
00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:23,684
Homer's son's
sister is right!
246
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:25,205
(INDISTINCT TALKING)
247
00:13:26,520 --> 00:13:28,249
Class, the town
has spoken.
248
00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:31,961
From now on, we're only teaching
one theory, creationism.
249
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:35,323
Now please, hand in your evolution
books to Groundskeeper Willie
250
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,721
while I beat
this ominous drum.
251
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:39,570
(PLAYING DRUM)
252
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:48,323
Ah, there seems to be
a note on your locker.
253
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,289
From a secret
admirer perhaps.
254
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:51,885
Mmm, don't make
me laugh.
255
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:53,007
Ha, ha, ha!
256
00:13:53,720 --> 00:13:55,609
(READING)
257
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,281
“L.M.S”
Who could it be?
258
00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:07,810
(VIDEO GAME NOISES)
259
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:12,761
Little Moe Szyslak?
260
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,045
Why does everybody
call me that?
261
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:17,043
Bunch of snot-faced
puke bags!
262
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,090
I'm so glad you
could all come.
263
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:32,688
I will be reading to you from The
Origin of Species by Charles Darwin.
264
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:36,407
Oh! I thought we were gonna
light spiders on fire.
265
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:37,961
We're over here.
266
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,201
(GRUNTS)
267
00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:44,484
Y'all have a nice day.
268
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,480
"Chapter One. When we
compare the individuals
269
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,324
"of the same variety
or sub-variety
270
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,085
"of our older cultivated
plants and animals..."
271
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,890
Lisa Simpson.
You're under arrest
272
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,367
for the teaching of
non-Biblical science.
273
00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:00,801
(GASPS) Ugh.
274
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:04,240
There are so many
worse crimes.
275
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,368
Why are you
persecuting me?
276
00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:09,887
Uh, well, we only have the manpower
to enforce the last law passed.
277
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:11,769
You know, it's not
the best system but...
278
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,002
Well, in fact, it's, uh...
It's pretty much the worst.
279
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:15,081
(GUNFIRE)
280
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:19,925
You live. You die.
281
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,331
(GUNFIRE)
(CHUCKLES)
282
00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,249
In the old days, we would've
been all over that.
283
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:24,446
(SNAKE LAUGHS)
284
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,291
This is Kent Brockman reporting
live from the trial of
285
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:33,203
God v. Lisa Simpson.
286
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:36,841
Defending Ms. Simpson is ACLU-appointed
liberal, Clarice Drummond.
287
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,046
I'm from New York.
288
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:39,281
(ALL BOOING)
289
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,727
And prosecuting
the case against Lisa
290
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,804
is humble country lawyer,
Wallace Brady.
291
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:48,561
As the little chicken said to his
mama, I just hope I don't cluck up.
292
00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:49,641
ALL: Aw.
293
00:15:49,920 --> 00:15:52,764
I think it's fair to say
if that man doesn't win,
294
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:54,569
I'm resigning
from the jury.
295
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,923
This is Kent Brockman,
juror number seven, saying,
296
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,843
"I'll have the roast beef
for lunch."
297
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:05,725
So, does this theory of evolution
necessarily mean that there is no God?
298
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:06,881
No, of course not.
299
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,961
It just says that God is an
impotent nothing from nowhere
300
00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,805
with less power than the
undersecretary of agriculture,
301
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:16,769
who has very little power
in our system.
302
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:18,251
(LAUGHING)
303
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:24,485
Now, sir, you are a
scientist, correct?
304
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:28,531
Oh, that's right. I have a Ph.D.
in truthology from Christian Tech.
305
00:16:28,640 --> 00:16:29,926
ALL: Ooh.
306
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:32,641
Move over, Carl.
I got a new hero.
307
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,569
Yeah. This'll last
about a day.
308
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:39,129
So as a scientist, what is your
take on this "devil-ution"?
309
00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:40,201
(LAUGHING)
310
00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:41,281
Pure hogwash.
311
00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:43,567
If man evolved from monkeys,
there'd be evidence.
312
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:46,928
But when we look at the fossil
record, here's what we see.
313
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,604
A missing link.
314
00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:52,609
(ALL GASP)
(CHUCKLES)
315
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,967
I believe, right now, this
gentleman's having dinner
316
00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:56,690
with the tooth fairy
and the Easter bunny.
317
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,889
This is the break in the
case we've been waiting for!
318
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:01,485
I mean, he doesn't exist.
319
00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,722
Evolution is just a lot
of that Hollywood hooey.
320
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:04,881
(ALL GASP)
321
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:09,884
Well, I've heard
enough for today.
322
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:12,042
I have to judge a wet T-shirt
contest in 20 minutes.
323
00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:14,851
(SCOFFS) This trial is
the biggest load of...
324
00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,045
Oh, for crying out loud!
325
00:17:17,120 --> 00:17:21,364
Now, Bambi, who started that
forest fire that killed your mama?
326
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:22,851
Evolution?
327
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,684
My, my, my.
328
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:28,446
Poor Bambi.
Poor Thumper.
329
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,411
(TIRES SCREECHING)
330
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:36,650
I'm sorry, Mom.
331
00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:39,690
I should have just gone with
the flow like you said.
332
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:47,320
MARGE: Hmm.
333
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,971
Well, I might as well see
what all the fuss is about.
334
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:02,924
Homer...
Homer, please.
335
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:05,731
I love it when you're not into it.
Oh, yeah, baby.
336
00:18:06,280 --> 00:18:07,884
Oh, yeah. That's it.
Ignore me.
337
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,325
I'm not even here.
338
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:14,281
Wow. Darwin's argument
is incredibly persuasive.
339
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:15,725
And his ship was the Beagle,
340
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,326
which reminds me of Snoopy,
my favorite Peanut.
341
00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:20,080
Aw...
342
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,161
Lisa, I think I have a way to
help you at the trial today.
343
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:26,480
So do I.
344
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,046
Milhouse will serve the time for
you while you flee to Mexico.
345
00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:32,964
Your new name?
Senorita Ugly.
346
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:36,203
Honey, I appreciate the thought
but just leave everything to me.
347
00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:37,321
Oh...
348
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:39,767
You can take off
the wig, Milhouse.
349
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,046
I'm Nelson.
350
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,281
(GASPS)
351
00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,804
Now, Mr. Flanders, you're
familiar with the Bible, correct?
352
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:56,201
As familiar as
it's proper to be.
353
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:57,810
Don't worry, Lisa.
354
00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:00,486
I've got the answer to
your problems right here.
355
00:19:01,600 --> 00:19:04,171
Look, Homie.
I brought you a beer.
356
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,241
Thanks, Marge.
357
00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:06,560
(STRAINING)
358
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:08,526
It's not a twist-off.
359
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:10,648
(CONTINUES STRAINING)
Come on.
360
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:17,008
And you are positive that man
and ape cannot be related?
361
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:19,890
As sure as I am that
Jesus hates hip-hop!
362
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:23,328
Come on, open.
I want what's in you!
363
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:24,765
(GIBBERING)
364
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,331
As a matter...
Want you...
365
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,561
Homer.
Stupid.
366
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:29,846
(GIBBERING)
367
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,160
Homer, I'm trying to...
368
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:32,571
(GIBBERING)
369
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,086
Would you shut your yap,
you big monkey-faced gorilla!
370
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:38,321
(ALL GASP)
371
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,080
Mr. Flanders, you've sworn
to tell the truth.
372
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:44,488
Can you say that this man could not
possibly be related to that ape?
373
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:46,011
(GIBBERING)
374
00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:48,686
You win, Lisa.
375
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:50,046
This court hereby rules
376
00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:53,966
that the law forbidding the
teaching of evolution is repealed.
377
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,201
(GRUNTS)
378
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:58,364
Oh, wait.
It was a twist-off.
379
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:01,728
Oh, thanks, Mom.
380
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,531
Thank you, honey,
for opening my eyes.
381
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,405
I can't wait to see what
evolution will make next.
382
00:20:07,480 --> 00:20:09,323
Maybe a bird
with a people face,
383
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,528
or a bear with pants on.
384
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:12,726
NED: Let's go, boys.
385
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,689
Your poor old
Popsicle's been licked.
386
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,649
Mr. Flanders, wait.
Hmm?
387
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,802
I want you to know
I respect your beliefs
388
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,486
and I can see how deeply
you feel about them.
389
00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,245
I just don't think religion
should be taught in our schools,
390
00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:27,483
any more than you'd want
scientists teaching at the church.
391
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,048
Well, l wish this
world would evolve
392
00:20:30,120 --> 00:20:32,168
a few more kids
like you, Lisa.
393
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,322
What say we take
our worthy adversary
394
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:36,801
out for a hot fudge
fun-day?
395
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,251
(NELSON'S VOICE)
Cram it, ya God-wad.
396
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:44,321
(GIBBERING) Wha...
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