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CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
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00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:18,351
(school bell rings)
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(whistle blows)
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(saxophone solo)
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(tires skidding)
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(clinking)
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(tires screeching)
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D’oh!
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(screams)
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♪♪
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♪ Laugh it up
with Christ and Krusty ♪
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♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha, ha, ha ♪
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♪ We got hired
’cause we are busty ♪
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♪ Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
ha, ha, ha, ha. ♪
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Hey! Hey!
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Oh... whoa... whoa!
(thuds)
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(laughing)
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{\an8}Real nice--
laughing at an old man’s pain.
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{\an8}Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
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{\an8}(loud groaning)
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(laughing)
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{\an8}We’ve got a great show tonight,
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{\an8}with all your favorite
second-tier costume characters.
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Like Ribwich Rib-it!
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Matrix Poochie!
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And right off the plane
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from his dad’s funeral,
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Sideshow Mel!
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{\an8}And now for the highlight
of our show,
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{\an8}a special appearance
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{\an8}-by Elvis...
-(excited gasping)
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...Stojko!
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(disappointed groaning)
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ANNOUNCER (over P.A.)
Olympic Medalist Elvis Stojko
performs
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a graceful triple axel.
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{\an8}Elvis Stojko
is so handsome.
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{\an8}He can lace up
my skates any time.
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{\an8}Don’t you hags know
that all male figure skaters
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are "twinkly in the lutz"?
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That’s a common
misconception.
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I have a girlfriend
in Vancouver.
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{\an8}Made-up girlfriend,
made-up city.
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("Dance of the Reeds" plays)
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(audience "awws")
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{\an8}Just think, Lisa,
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{\an8}if I had paid for those
skating lessons,
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{\an8}that could’ve been you.
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{\an8}(grumbles angrily)
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{\an8}Say, Mel,
those figure skaters,
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{\an8}sure are having
a swell time out there.
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{\an8}Indeed!
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{\an8}Why don’t we join them?
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(both groaning)
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Oh, my back.
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("Dance of the Sugar
Plum Fairy" plays)
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{\an8}Wow, Krusty and Mel
sure can skate.
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{\an8}Nothin’ slows down
the baby boomers.
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{\an8}(cheering and applause)
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{\an8}(both screaming)
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{\an8}(audience gasping)
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Aw, don’t look
so shocked.
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You knew the deal.
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(pulley squeaking)
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{\an8}SNOWMAN:
Children, we need your help.
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{\an8}The Grumple has stolen
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{\an8}all of our holiday cheer.
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That can’t
be good.
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Grumply, grumply groo,
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I’ll throw my net over you.
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Look out!
It’s the Grumple!
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(Homer whimpering)
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{\an8}SNOWMAN, CANDY CANE, REINDEER:
Oh!
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{\an8}Whoa, watch where you’re
going there, pally.
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We’ve got a basketball
game in an hour.
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{\an8}But we’re trying to get
to Mistletoe Mountain.
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{\an8}Tell it to the Utah Jazz,
snowflake.
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{\an8}Elvis, Grumple,
Candy Kevin!
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{\an8}Let’s teach
these guys
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{\an8}the real meaning
of Christmas.
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{\an8}(punches landing, grunting)
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(groaning)
Come on, Homer.
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Let’s get the kids
out of here.
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Homer?
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{\an8}Give back
that holiday cheer,
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{\an8}-you bastard!
-Never!
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{\an8}This sweater
is gorgeous.
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{\an8}I’ll take one
in "wife" size
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{\an8}and three in
"mistress" size.
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Now Smithers,
I need your advice
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picking out a gift
for a very dear friend of mine.
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A single fellow,
a bit quiet,
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but one with a warm,
loyal heart.
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Well, sir,
a fellow like that
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might have had his eye
on this silver frame.
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It would go great with his
collection of Art Deco...
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Shut up, shut up!
There he is.
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Hello, Phillip.
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What are you
doing here?
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(gasping)
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Oh-ho. Never you
mind, Mr. Nosey.
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(both laughing)
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Are you going
to that string quartet thing?
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-’Cause I’m not.
-(both laughing)
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(sotto voce)
Are you still here?
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Go pay for that.
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Well, uh...
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what can ol’ Santa bring you
for Christmas, son?
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I want a dirt bike,
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one of those video game
chairs that vibrate...
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Dad, he’s not
the real Santa.
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We can’t afford
that stuff.
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Shut up.
Shut up. Shut up!
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(sobbing)
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I better go
after him.
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What can I do for you,
young lady?
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What I want
can’t be bought at any store.
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Oh, what is it, sweetie?
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Peace on earth?
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What? No!
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I-I mean,
that’s a given.
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But also, the Malibu Stacy
Pony Beach Party Set
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with Sparkle Sand.
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It’s sold out
everywhere.
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You know,
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Santa thinks he saw an
extra Beach Party Set
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sitting back
in the stockroom there.
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(gasping)
Really?
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Y-You just wait here.
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Let me go check,
Sugarplum.
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(cash register dinging)
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Oh, thank you,
thank you, thank you!
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You really made my
daughter’s Christmas.
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Well, her smile
made mine.
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Gil!
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March your fake boot
fronts over here!
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Mr. Costington!
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Sir, I’m glad I have
this chance to talk to you.
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I’ve been on the payroll
here since May,
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and I’d really like
to start working
in Ladies Shoes.
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Not literally,
of course.
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I... I couldn’t walk
very fast,
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though I’d learn
if that’s what it takes.
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Never mind that now!
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Did you sell
the Malibu Stacy set
I put aside?
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That was for you?
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It was
for my daughter!
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You nitwit!
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I want my dolly!
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(jowly)
You nitwit!
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Now get back
that toy.
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Gee, I’m sorry, sir.
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Taking back that
doll would break
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a little girl’s heart
on Christmas Eve.
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I made a lot
of mistakes in my life,
but I would never do that.
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Well, then, you’re...
fired!
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But I...
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(Gil stammering)
Aw.
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Oh, you poor man.
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Fired on Christmas Eve.
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(grunts)
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Why don’t you have dinner
with us tonight?
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Please, Santa?
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Well, let me check
the bus schedule here.
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If I get it...
make a transfer there.
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Well, I could be there
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by 2:00 a.m.
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We’ll give you a ride.
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That’s swell.
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Could you swing
by my ex-wife’s place?
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I want her to see me
riding in a car.
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SIMPSONS:
♪ And a partridge in a... ♪
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(Gil scat singing)
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♪ ...pear tree ♪
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(all laughing)
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(laughing)
He did that.
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Oh, yeah.
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00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:07,945
Well, I guess ol’ Gil
should skedaddle.
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You can’t go
home tonight.
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It’s cold.
It’s late.
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Yeah, maybe I should
spend the night here, too.
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You’re getting
a cab, old man.
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In fact, I believe
I see it now.
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But I haven’t given you
a present.
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Your present
is leaving.
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Oh, I don’t see
a cab.
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Well, since I’m staying,
how about another song?
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♪ Jazzin’ around
the Christmas tree ♪
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♪ It’s a skit skat holiday. ♪
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LISA & BART:
It’s Christmas!
190
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-It’s Christmas!
-It’s Christmas!
191
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I didn’t think it would
ever come, but it did!
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(both laughing)
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What is all this?
194
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Well, I figured since
you invited me to stay,
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I might as well go down
to the bus locker
196
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and get my stuff.
197
00:08:51,948 --> 00:08:53,074
Oh.
198
00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:56,077
Marge, we have
a problem here.
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00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,080
You have a bigger
problem out there.
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Grumply, grumply groo,
your blood will make my stew.
201
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:06,295
(whispering loudly)
Do you think that’s
the same Grumple
202
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,214
from the ice show?
203
00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:09,590
Because I do.
204
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,050
(grunts)
205
00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:17,223
Hey, who wants some eggs
a la Harold Stassen?
206
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:18,516
Huh?
207
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,353
They’re always running!
208
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:23,729
(Gil laughs)
209
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,940
(Lisa laughs)
210
00:09:26,023 --> 00:09:28,484
(whispering)
Do you really understand
what that means?
211
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,069
(chuckles)
Kinda.
212
00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:32,905
Why did you let that loser
into our home?
213
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:35,491
I’ll tell you why:
Christian Charity.
214
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:36,909
Christian Charity?
215
00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:38,953
What does a porn star have
to do with this?
216
00:09:39,036 --> 00:09:40,121
He’s gotta go.
217
00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:42,748
I promise you
he’ll leave after today.
218
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:43,916
Really?
Who’s gonna make him?
219
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,001
I will.
220
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:55,094
He sure has a lot of markers
that don’t work.
221
00:09:55,177 --> 00:09:56,762
Well, I got something.
222
00:09:56,846 --> 00:09:58,389
Gah! A spider bite,
223
00:09:58,472 --> 00:10:00,641
or as I like to call it,
a "Christmas kiss."
224
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:03,728
Listen, uh, Gil...
225
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:06,188
I sort of
thought that...
226
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,566
you know, you’d be
on your way by now.
227
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:09,734
Really?
228
00:10:09,817 --> 00:10:12,653
You’re gonna put me out
on Christmas Day, huh?
229
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:15,031
(chuckles)
230
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,157
Well, that’s all right.
231
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,950
I can go down
to the men’s shelter.
232
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:20,036
I just hope that weird priest
with the runny eye
233
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,622
ain’t serving soup,
’cause they...
234
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:24,790
Wait, you don’t have
a place to live?
235
00:10:24,874 --> 00:10:26,626
(whispering loudly)
Lower the boom.
236
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:27,752
(sighs)
237
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:29,754
I guess you don’t
have to leave
238
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,380
till the holiday’s over.
239
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:34,008
(grunts worriedly)
240
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:36,302
(whispering loudly)
Has the boom
been lowered?
241
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:38,346
No!
242
00:10:38,429 --> 00:10:40,681
(whispering loudly)
D’oh...
243
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:44,226
TV ANNOUNCER:
Appearing in their
first Rose Parade,
244
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,021
the marching band
from Altoona, Pennsylvania
245
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:49,815
playing "Rachel’s Theme"
from Batman Begins.
246
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:51,567
Hey-ya, Marge,
Happy New Year.
247
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,402
You make
any resolutions?
248
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,404
Yes. One...
involving you.
249
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,822
What a coincidence!
250
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:58,157
I made one, too.
251
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,201
I’m gonna move
my fanny off this sofa.
252
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:01,577
(gasps)
Oh.
253
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,996
And move it over to that
recliner by the phone
254
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,998
’cause I’m expecting
a call any minute now
255
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,000
from my old boss
at Jackpot Realty,
256
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,586
asking me to take over
the Scottsdale office.
257
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:11,796
Really?
258
00:11:11,879 --> 00:11:14,632
Oh, yeah. That desert air’s
gonna give the ol’ one-two
259
00:11:14,715 --> 00:11:15,966
to my bronchitis.
260
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:21,138
(chuckles)
(coughing)
261
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,265
Oh... boy.
262
00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:24,141
(sighs)
263
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,852
I guess you can stay
a little longer.
264
00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:28,521
Ah, thank you, Marge.
265
00:11:30,147 --> 00:11:32,066
You know, those floats
should really slow down
266
00:11:32,149 --> 00:11:35,611
and savor it, ’cause your life
can go to Hell pretty quick.
267
00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:36,529
(grunts)
268
00:11:43,327 --> 00:11:44,620
We’re not keeping
that moocher
269
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,789
in this house
another minute.
270
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:47,623
(coughs)
271
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:48,666
He’s still in need.
272
00:11:48,749 --> 00:11:50,543
We have to let him stay.
273
00:11:50,626 --> 00:11:52,837
It’s what Dr. King
would want us to do.
274
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:55,089
Oh, that’s it.
We’re changing doctors.
275
00:11:55,172 --> 00:11:57,508
Please,
just a few more days.
276
00:11:57,591 --> 00:11:58,759
Marge, admit it.
277
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,303
You just can’t say
"no" to anyone.
278
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:03,305
That’s why you have three kids.
279
00:12:03,389 --> 00:12:04,682
It’s true.
280
00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:06,851
I do have trouble saying "no."
281
00:12:06,934 --> 00:12:08,561
It all started when I was seven.
282
00:12:10,104 --> 00:12:13,524
Marjorie,
we need you to hide our
cigarettes in your dollhouse.
283
00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:14,692
No!
284
00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:15,818
(both growling)
285
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,281
Mom?
Gramma?
286
00:12:20,364 --> 00:12:21,657
Aunt Larina?
287
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,617
Anybody?
288
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:26,287
Whoa-whoa-whoa-wha--
289
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:27,747
Ugh.
290
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:31,959
And that’s why I have trouble
saying "no" to people.
291
00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:33,544
Even Gil.
292
00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:36,088
Marge,
I have no idea
293
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:38,507
what you were just
thinking about.
294
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:40,176
Why would you
think I did?
295
00:12:40,259 --> 00:12:42,636
Uh... hmm.
296
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,096
(dog barks)
297
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:46,932
(grumbling)
298
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,350
What’sa matter,
Homer?
299
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:50,144
You still miss
the UPN?
300
00:12:50,227 --> 00:12:51,645
Yeah, but there’s
something else.
301
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:54,064
There’s this loser staying
in our house.
302
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,524
Marge says she’s gonna
kick him out,
303
00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:56,650
but then she never does.
304
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:58,235
Well, you can’t kick him out,
305
00:12:58,319 --> 00:13:00,488
’cause then Marge will never
learn to assert herself.
306
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:03,115
Well, I guess I’ll have
to wait for Marge
307
00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,617
to show
some backbone and--
308
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:06,285
You again?!
309
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:09,121
(growling)
310
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:10,039
(grunts)
Aah!
311
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,418
What the hell
is this thing?
312
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:19,173
{\an8}♪ Happy holidays ♪
313
00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:24,678
{\an8}♪ May the calendar keep bringin
happy holidays ♪
314
00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:27,139
MARGE:
Homie.
315
00:13:27,223 --> 00:13:28,933
Wake up.
316
00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:31,852
I rented that negligee you like.
317
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,813
(purrs amorously)
318
00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,941
Those legs
go on forever.
319
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:38,776
Oh, wait, they
stop right there.
320
00:13:40,486 --> 00:13:42,488
(both chuckling)
321
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:44,240
(both giggling)
322
00:13:45,574 --> 00:13:47,243
Oh... Mmm!
323
00:13:47,326 --> 00:13:50,246
Homer, don’t forget
it’s Valentine’s Day!
324
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:51,956
What you gettin’ the missus?
325
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:55,751
A heart-shaped box
of chocolates.
326
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:56,585
(grunting)
327
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,003
Gil, listen.
328
00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,631
We’ve been
very patient,
329
00:14:00,714 --> 00:14:03,425
-but I want you to...
-(phone rings)
330
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:04,426
Is that for me?
331
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:06,428
GIL:
Is it the Scottsdale job?
332
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,931
It’s your foot doctor, Gil!
333
00:14:09,014 --> 00:14:09,849
Yes.
334
00:14:10,558 --> 00:14:11,684
Yes.
335
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,227
Oh, dear.
336
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,688
I can’t tell him that!
337
00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:18,440
Aw, geez!
338
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:21,151
Boy, I was...
339
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,403
Well, I’m still a winner!
340
00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:24,196
As long as I got
a cup of coffee
341
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:28,409
and a tomorrow on the calendar,
ol’ Gil’s comin’ back.
342
00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:30,494
Oh. Say, Homer, how about
closin’ up that robe?
343
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,621
I’m seeing the whole
butcher shop.
344
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,874
For your information,
345
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:37,918
since I bought it,
I put on a ton of weight.
346
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:44,091
{\an8}♪ Happy holidays ♪
347
00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:49,263
{\an8}♪ May the calendar keep bringin
happy holidays... ♪
348
00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:51,473
♪ McCarthy pumps
the old bassoon ♪
349
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,684
♪ While I the pipes do play ♪
350
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:55,644
♪ And Hennessy Tennessee
tootles the flute ♪
351
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,855
♪ And the music is
awfully grand... ♪
352
00:14:57,938 --> 00:15:01,901
Oh, their drunken singing
is ruining St. Patrick’s Day!
353
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:05,029
Well, just let ’em
finish this one song.
354
00:15:05,112 --> 00:15:08,032
♪ There’s O’Brians, O’Ryans,
O’Sheehans and Meehans ♪
355
00:15:08,115 --> 00:15:10,034
♪ They come from Ireland... ♪
356
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:12,494
(muttering angrily)
357
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:15,831
(whimpers)
358
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:18,918
(lively Irish music plays)
359
00:15:23,505 --> 00:15:26,050
{\an8}♪ Happy Holidays ♪
360
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:28,510
{\an8}♪ Happy Holidays... ♪
361
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:31,263
{\an8}♪ While the merry bells
are ringing ♪
362
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:33,933
{\an8}♪ May your every wish
come true ♪
363
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:38,896
{\an8}♪ Happy Holidays ♪
364
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:43,943
{\an8}♪ May the calendar keep bringin
happy holidays to you ♪
365
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:47,363
LISA:
Oh, man.
366
00:15:47,446 --> 00:15:49,573
Now he even mooches
our lunches.
367
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:50,658
(Bart grunts)
368
00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:53,953
All he left me with are
these used nicotine patches.
369
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,246
Give me your lunch,
dingus.
370
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,875
Oh, mini quesadillas!
371
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,003
Zesty!
372
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:06,465
(groans)
373
00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:11,345
{\an8}♪ Happy Holidays ♪
374
00:16:11,428 --> 00:16:18,435
{\an8}♪ May the calendar keep bringin
happy holidays... to you ♪
375
00:16:22,898 --> 00:16:24,483
I’m so sick of Gil.
376
00:16:24,566 --> 00:16:26,318
He ruins Thanksgiving,
377
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:29,321
uses my leg razor
to peel his carrots...
378
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:31,699
Marge, I hate to
interrupt the ol’
solilo-diddly-iloquy,
379
00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:34,284
but I just want to
thank you for your
early Christmas card.
380
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:35,327
Christmas card?
381
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,329
I haven’t even taken
the photo yet.
382
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:39,331
Isn’t this your posse
on this glossy?
383
00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:41,041
(gasps)
384
00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:45,337
That Photoshopping freak!
385
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:47,965
Oh, I don’t mean to cause
Gil ill will, but still...
386
00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:50,175
Don’t you defend him!
387
00:16:50,259 --> 00:16:52,720
I want that mooch out
of my house right now!
388
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:55,097
Marge, I’ve never seen
you like this before.
389
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:55,973
That’s right!
390
00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:59,184
I just found my gumption,
and I like it!
391
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:02,980
Marge Simpson is gonna say no!
392
00:17:03,063 --> 00:17:04,565
Gil! Gil?
393
00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:05,399
Gil!
394
00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:06,358
Gil’s gone.
395
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:07,568
Back to Scottsdale.
396
00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:09,153
-Problem solved.
-End of story.
397
00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:10,696
Can we have pancakes
for dinner?
398
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:12,114
Gil’s gone?
399
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:15,325
But I have a "no" inside me
that has to come out.
400
00:17:15,409 --> 00:17:17,161
Hey, Marge,
you want a thousand dollars?
401
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:18,162
No!
402
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,329
I mean, yes!
403
00:17:19,413 --> 00:17:20,497
Too late.
404
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:21,957
(groaning)
405
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,335
Don’t worry. I make
six of those a year.
406
00:17:30,007 --> 00:17:31,425
Even though Gil left,
407
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:33,218
I still have
to kick him out.
408
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:36,555
I need this, or I’ll never
be able to say "no."
409
00:17:36,638 --> 00:17:38,432
Mom, I understand
your psychological need,
410
00:17:38,515 --> 00:17:40,225
but I’m not sure
what you can do.
411
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:41,435
I’ll tell you what.
412
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:43,520
We’re going
to Scottsdale!
413
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:44,354
Scottsdale?
414
00:17:44,438 --> 00:17:46,148
Will we stay
at a Tripletree Resort?
415
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,150
-Sure.
-Then forget it!
416
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:59,995
I’ll ask these active
seniors if they know Gil.
417
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,997
I’ll have you
know I’m 32.
418
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,248
Oh!
419
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:06,293
(gasping)
There he is!
420
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,339
Gunderson?!
421
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,265
Whoa, Gil’s a big shot!
422
00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:22,684
And to think he and I once
shared a shower.
423
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:25,270
I don’t care
how successful Gil is.
424
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:27,731
He’s still a mooch,
and I need to tell him off!
425
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:29,942
(screeching)
426
00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:37,241
117 degrees?
427
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:38,742
Ooh, that reminds me.
428
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:39,868
(heavy panting)
429
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:44,456
There’s water
under the seat!
430
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:45,958
(whimpering)
431
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,460
Now remember, Marge,
432
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:51,922
we’re not buying anything
for more than 1.2,
433
00:18:52,005 --> 00:18:54,508
but if I scratch my nose,
434
00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:57,094
that means
we can go to 1.5.
435
00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:02,724
People, remember,
you’re selling dreams!
436
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,101
When a family owns a home,
437
00:19:04,184 --> 00:19:06,603
it means they own
a piece of America.
438
00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:09,731
And what matters most
isn’t the commission you make,
439
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,692
it’s the smiles on their faces
440
00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:15,070
when they know they own
that land free and clear.
441
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,488
He’s the best
I’ve ever seen.
442
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:19,283
He’s talking
at a Century 22 level.
443
00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:20,826
(groans)
444
00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:22,703
Gil, remember me?
445
00:19:22,786 --> 00:19:25,080
Marge Simpson?
What are you doing here?
446
00:19:25,164 --> 00:19:27,291
Lookin’ for a home
on a quiet cul-de-sac,
447
00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:29,626
where your neighbor
could be Tanya Tucker?
448
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:32,087
Listen, bub.
449
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,714
I have something
to say to you,
450
00:19:33,797 --> 00:19:35,507
and it can’t wait.
451
00:19:35,591 --> 00:19:36,967
Oh, well, looks
like we got
452
00:19:37,050 --> 00:19:38,969
a Backout Betty
on our hands.
453
00:19:39,052 --> 00:19:41,972
But watch ol’ Gil take her
from furious to curious.
454
00:19:42,055 --> 00:19:44,141
Now, ma’am, you say
you can’t wait,
and you’re right.
455
00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:46,351
With interest rates climbing
and choice properties
456
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:50,147
in the Kingsbridge School
District drying up...
457
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:52,566
The only house I’m
interested in is my own,
458
00:19:52,649 --> 00:19:56,111
which you defiled
for 11 hellish months.
459
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,530
But now I’ve
learned to say "no!"
460
00:19:58,614 --> 00:19:59,990
No to your mooching!
461
00:20:00,073 --> 00:20:01,533
No to your manipulation!
462
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:05,662
And a big fat no to the
Kingsbridge School District!
463
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:08,999
Aw, come on, you can’t
say no to ol’ Gil.
464
00:20:09,082 --> 00:20:10,751
No!
465
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:14,129
Why, he’s as pathetic
as we are.
466
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:16,006
(laughing)
467
00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:18,592
Gunderson!
468
00:20:18,675 --> 00:20:20,177
I put you in charge
of this office
469
00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:23,013
because I thought
you could tame this town.
470
00:20:23,096 --> 00:20:25,182
You’re fired!
471
00:20:32,105 --> 00:20:33,815
Here’s a box
for your stuff.
472
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,442
I can’t live
in this!
473
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:41,114
{\an8}♪ May the calendar
keep bringing ♪
474
00:20:41,198 --> 00:20:44,785
♪ Happy holiday to... ♪
475
00:20:44,868 --> 00:20:47,371
♪ Ba-ba-bop-de-ba-you! ♪
476
00:20:47,454 --> 00:20:49,289
(doorbell rings)
477
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,166
(collective gasp)
478
00:20:51,250 --> 00:20:52,376
Grumply, grumply groo,
479
00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:55,170
we’re here to share
Christmas with you!
480
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:56,338
ALL:
Awww...
481
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:02,094
♪ Have a grumply grumply
Christmas ♪
482
00:21:02,177 --> 00:21:05,555
♪ Free of grumply groo ♪
483
00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:11,520
♪ Oh, by grumple, have a grumpl
grumply Christmas, won’t you? ♪
484
00:21:12,229 --> 00:21:15,816
{\an8}Captioned by VISUAL DATA
485
00:21:52,352 --> 00:21:53,270
Shh!
486
00:21:56,398 --> 00:21:58,358
{\an8}Enhanced by Fotokem