1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,004
(beeping)

2
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:12,721
<i>KIEFER SUTHERLAND:</i>
<i>Previously on 24...</i>

3
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,806
<i>I mean </i>The Simpsons:

4
00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:17,392
Behold... our new
state-of-the-art weapon

5
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,436
in the global war
against misbehavior.

6
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,146
CTU...

7
00:00:21,229 --> 00:00:22,939
-the Counter Truancy Unit!
-(kids gasp)

8
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:24,774
(moaning)

9
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,234
-(screams)
-(Nelson laughing)

10
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:27,235
(whimpers)

11
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,530
I’ve got something!

12
00:00:33,658 --> 00:00:34,993
The sixth-grade
security camera

13
00:00:35,076 --> 00:00:36,619
shows three
empty desks.

14
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:37,704
Enhance!

15
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,541
Dehance!
Dehance!

16
00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:46,337
I ran the attendance
protocols.

17
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:48,131
Here are your three
missing students:

18
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,716
Hmm.

19
00:00:49,799 --> 00:00:51,634
Good work, Database.

20
00:00:51,718 --> 00:00:53,094
MARTIN/MILHOUSE:
We helped.

21
00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,059
(alarm blaring)

22
00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,685
(siren wailing)

23
00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:02,145
(shouting)

24
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:07,609
(amplified breathing)

25
00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:09,152
(ticking)

26
00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:14,157
Whoa.

27
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:15,950
-This is the source
of the stench.
-Hey.

28
00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,952
Get your own yogurt.

29
00:01:20,538 --> 00:01:21,372
Vile curd.

30
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,168
Simpson, you can take your
putrid mess

31
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:27,796
far out of my sight,
you song-less land whale.

32
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:29,339
Whoo-hoo!

33
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:30,423
Business trip!

34
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:33,259
(laughing)

35
00:01:35,887 --> 00:01:37,764
(kids laughing)

36
00:01:37,847 --> 00:01:39,557
Simpson!

37
00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,726
I’ll teach you
to make a Poupon "me."

38
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,478
(raucous laughter)

39
00:01:43,561 --> 00:01:45,355
(grunts)

40
00:01:58,993 --> 00:02:01,287
(shoes squeaking)

41
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:03,832
(groans)

42
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,127
(humming)

43
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,504
If someone did eat
Bart’s shorts,

44
00:02:09,587 --> 00:02:12,549
they’d have a tummy full
of pocket garbage.

45
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:15,051
Hmm.

46
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:16,261
Mm.

47
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:18,263
Hmm.

48
00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:22,016
(gasps)

49
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,394
The school’s having
a bake sale today?!

50
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:25,687
At 3:00?!

51
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,149
I promised them a cake.

52
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,109
I’ve only got 27 minutes.

53
00:02:31,192 --> 00:02:32,861
The pre-heat is on.

54
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,376
<i>SUTHERLAND:</i>
<i>Or maybe it’s a.m.</i>

55
00:02:48,459 --> 00:02:51,004
<i>Whichever one is the morning</i>
<i>one, it’s not that one.</i>

56
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,554
{\an8}Apu, I’m returning
a yogurt

57
00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,306
{\an8}I wasn’t a hundred percent
satisfied with.

58
00:03:02,682 --> 00:03:03,600
{\an8}Mmm?

59
00:03:03,683 --> 00:03:05,685
{\an8}Ooh. Oh my God!

60
00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:08,396
{\an8}If a dead fish and a homeless
person had a baby,

61
00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:10,773
{\an8}and the baby puked,
and a dog ate the puke,

62
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,942
{\an8}this smells like the rear end
of that dog!

63
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,152
{\an8}I’ll give you any
yogurt in the store,

64
00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:16,613
{\an8}just take that thing
with you when you go!

65
00:03:16,696 --> 00:03:18,573
{\an8}(chuckling)

66
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:22,952
{\an8}JIMBO:
Let’s spit
in the coffee pots.

67
00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:24,454
{\an8}DOLPH:
I call hazelnut.

68
00:03:24,537 --> 00:03:26,581
{\an8}Truants moving
into the Kwik-E-Mart.

69
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,124
{\an8}I’ve got a visual.

70
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:32,212
{\an8}(sniffing)

71
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:33,421
{\an8}Ugh!

72
00:03:33,504 --> 00:03:35,465
{\an8}That yogurt is toxic.

73
00:03:35,548 --> 00:03:37,217
{\an8}It’s just what
we’ve been looking for.

74
00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:45,934
{\an8}Now this crossword’s nothin’
but swears.

75
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:47,143
{\an8}(gasps)

76
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,895
{\an8}We’ve got what
we need.

77
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:49,812
{\an8}Milhouse, bring them in.

78
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:53,024
{\an8}Roger that.

79
00:03:53,107 --> 00:03:55,235
{\an8}And Lisa,
if I don’t make it back,

80
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,403
{\an8}there’s a letter in my locker
I want you to read.

81
00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:58,780
{\an8}I already read it.

82
00:03:58,863 --> 00:04:00,615
{\an8}We’ve all read it.

83
00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:02,867
{\an8}Wait, Milhouse,
hold your position.

84
00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,202
{\an8}Something
doesn’t add up.

85
00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:06,204
{\an8}Look what the bullies
could have stolen...

86
00:04:06,287 --> 00:04:09,415
{\an8}Big Chief Rotten Cheeks
Chewing Tobacco...

87
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,293
{\an8}a take-a-penny tray
with a quarter in it.

88
00:04:12,377 --> 00:04:14,796
{\an8}So why steal the yogurt?

89
00:04:14,879 --> 00:04:16,839
{\an8}We have to find out
what they’re up to.

90
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:17,924
{\an8}Hmm... Milhouse,

91
00:04:18,007 --> 00:04:18,925
{\an8}change of plan--

92
00:04:19,008 --> 00:04:21,177
{\an8}observe and follow.

93
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,971
{\an8}Permission to buy
a Hostess fruit pie

94
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:24,305
{\an8}to keep
my strength up?

95
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,473
{\an8}Denied.

96
00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,938
{\an8}Hey Milhouse,
who are you spying on?

97
00:04:32,021 --> 00:04:34,190
{\an8}-Those bullies?
-Huh?

98
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,358
{\an8}(screaming)

99
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:40,655
{\an8}What about the fat guy?

100
00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:41,990
{\an8}Hey, lay off.

101
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:43,700
{\an8}You’re the fat one
of you guys!

102
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:45,576
{\an8}I’m bulking up
for football!

103
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,287
{\an8}(Homer whimpering)

104
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:49,122
{\an8}HOMER:
I’m still alive.

105
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:50,707
{\an8}You call that playing
to win?

106
00:04:54,335 --> 00:04:55,795
{\an8}(Milhouse and Homer screaming)

107
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,424
{\an8}(Homer giggling)

108
00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:00,967
{\an8}HOMER:
Ooh.

109
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:03,261
{\an8}MILHOUSE:
Mr. Simpson,
I’m scared.

110
00:05:03,344 --> 00:05:05,054
{\an8}HOMER:
This is our life
now, Milhouse.

111
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,764
We’re Dumpster folk.

112
00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:07,890
{\an8}(static bursting)

113
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,225
{\an8}I’ve lost Milhouse.

114
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,978
{\an8}He’ll be somewhat missed.

115
00:05:13,354 --> 00:05:14,772
{\an8}Who do we send now?

116
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:17,275
{\an8}(moaning, whimpering)

117
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:18,776
{\an8}Principal Skinner,

118
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,611
{\an8}you know we have
only one agent

119
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,655
{\an8}who stands a chance
with those bullies.

120
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:24,282
(sighs)
My brother.

121
00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,955
Lord, give me guidance.

122
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,041
{\an8}That’s right, the Guidance
Department-- Detention Room.

123
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:34,083
{\an8}Thank you, Mrs. Lord.

124
00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:43,634
{\an8}(grunting angrily)

125
00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:47,722
{\an8}Hmm?

126
00:05:47,805 --> 00:05:48,848
(grunting)

127
00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:50,975
{\an8}All out?

128
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:54,020
{\an8}I can’t make my famous raisin
sponge-cake without raisins.

129
00:05:54,103 --> 00:05:55,855
Kids love the zing of raisins!

130
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:06,240
If I help you,
I want full immunity

131
00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:08,284
for all pranks past
and future,

132
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,536
and you have to teach me
a swear word

133
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:11,996
I don’t already know.

134
00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,873
No deal.

135
00:06:13,956 --> 00:06:15,458
Okay, suit yourself.

136
00:06:15,541 --> 00:06:18,044
{\an8}It’s not like you have any
major events coming up

137
00:06:18,127 --> 00:06:19,504
{\an8}that the bullies would want
to disrupt.

138
00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:20,755
(gasps)

139
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:22,507
The bake sale!

140
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,425
{\an8}Principal Skinner,
as we both know,

141
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:26,219
{\an8}but you might need
reminding,

142
00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:30,098
{\an8}the annual bake sale provides
90% of the school’s funding.

143
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,683
Okay, you
have a deal,

144
00:06:32,767 --> 00:06:34,102
you conniving
little...

145
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,062
-(whispering)
-(gasps)

146
00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:38,064
Wow, that’s a swear?

147
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:39,399
Used as a noun it is.

148
00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:40,691
Sweet!

149
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:41,943
Now I’m going to need
some wheels.

150
00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:43,319
{\an8}Yes, of course.

151
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,154
{\an8}I think we can wrangle you
a used bicycle.

152
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,239
{\an8}Do you prefer Schwinn or Huffy?

153
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:48,032
{\an8}Bart? Where did he...?

154
00:06:48,116 --> 00:06:49,575
(gasps)
My car keys!

155
00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:50,576
(engine starting)

156
00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:52,120
{\an8}(tires squealing)

157
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:54,163
Road kill, burnt hair,

158
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,748
my sister’s retainer case,

159
00:06:55,832 --> 00:06:58,543
six weeks of bottled farts,
possum placenta,

160
00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:00,753
sweat from a walk-around
Goofy suit.

161
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:03,631
And finally, T.C.B.Y.--

162
00:07:03,714 --> 00:07:07,009
that container
of botulized yogurt.

163
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,137
Okay, everyone, masks on.

164
00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:12,640
(grunts)

165
00:07:15,935 --> 00:07:18,187
(liquid gurgling, hissing)

166
00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:22,400
{\an8}Gentlemen, we’ve created
the mother of all stink bombs.

167
00:07:22,483 --> 00:07:24,402
{\an8}(laughter)

168
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,237
{\an8}Most satisfactory.

169
00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:27,697
(door squeaks open)

170
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:29,365
{\an8}Jimbo, sweetie, I have
to run to the bank.

171
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,033
{\an8}Are you boys going
to be okay alone?

172
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,535
{\an8}Put a top on, Mom!

173
00:07:32,618 --> 00:07:34,829
{\an8}Everyone’s seen
your implants.

174
00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:35,955
But the doctor said
the air will help them...

175
00:07:36,038 --> 00:07:37,165
Just go!

176
00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:38,458
(door closes)

177
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,377
Lookin’ good,
Carol!

178
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,712
(squeaking)

179
00:07:42,795 --> 00:07:43,713
(hissing)

180
00:07:48,759 --> 00:07:50,094
(sniffing, liquid hissing)

181
00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,054
(squeals)

182
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:55,391
(beeping)

183
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,440
(both grunting)

184
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,234
I saw it first!

185
00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,444
You are such
a liar!

186
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:07,570
(grunting
continues)

187
00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:09,280
(train whistle blowing)

188
00:08:09,363 --> 00:08:11,365
You give
that to me!

189
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,996
(methodic beeping)

190
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:24,003
(train whistling blowing,
train chugging)

191
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,632
(crashing)

192
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,968
(train whistle blowing)

193
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:34,597
(liquid hissing)

194
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,682
(sniffing)

195
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,434
Must... escape.

196
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,686
(wheel squeaking)

197
00:08:43,064 --> 00:08:44,398
(whimpers)

198
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,816
Springfield
Elementary is about

199
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:49,487
to be Stinkfield
Elementary.

200
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:55,618
Lisa, they’re going to put
a stink bomb in the school.

201
00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,161
I might be able
to stop them,

202
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,580
but I’ll need a schematic
of Jimbo’s house.

203
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:03,000
Jimbo drew a couple of pictures
of his house in second grade,

204
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,585
{\an8}but I can’t vouch
for their accuracy.

205
00:09:04,669 --> 00:09:06,045
{\an8}The teacher gave him
a frowny-face.

206
00:09:06,128 --> 00:09:09,465
(button tones beeping)

207
00:09:10,883 --> 00:09:13,427
I’m so proud
of us.

208
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:15,721
<i>(Odd Couple </i>theme
ring tone playing)

209
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,515
You got Jimbo.

210
00:09:17,598 --> 00:09:18,683
They’re on to
you, Jimbo!

211
00:09:18,766 --> 00:09:19,767
Get out of there!

212
00:09:19,850 --> 00:09:21,477
Scram... mbled eggs
would be lovely

213
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,312
for breakfast,
Mother.

214
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:24,855
(whispering):
Just go! Quickly!

215
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,065
We’re busted!

216
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:27,567
Thanks, mole.

217
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,235
Now make your split-
screen vanish.

218
00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:30,069
Will do!

219
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,696
Ooh!

220
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:39,870
Damn it, these blueprints
are all wrong.

221
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:43,291
Where’s the roller coaster room
and the shark tank?

222
00:09:43,374 --> 00:09:44,500
-(heavy door closes)
-Huh?

223
00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:45,876
Ooh.

224
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:53,551
(grunts)

225
00:09:58,931 --> 00:10:01,517
Son of a beach ball,
they’re gone!

226
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,728
(whimpering)

227
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:05,229
(phone speed dialing)

228
00:10:05,313 --> 00:10:07,064
I’ve got a man down!

229
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:08,316
Well, not a man.

230
00:10:08,399 --> 00:10:09,817
A very special boy.

231
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,193
(static on other end)

232
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:12,653
Chloe, I need those
schematics now!

233
00:10:12,737 --> 00:10:14,113
What? Who is this?

234
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:16,365
I’m Jack Bauer.
Who the hell are you?

235
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,660
-Me? Uh, I’m...
Ahmed Adoody.
-(rapid gunfire)

236
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:23,039
Chloe, find out all you
can about Ahmed Adoody.

237
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,582
Does anyone there know
Ahmed Adoody?

238
00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:26,584
Ahmed Adoody, wealthy
Saudi financier.

239
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,753
Disappeared into Afghanistan
in the late 90s.

240
00:10:28,836 --> 00:10:30,296
-Really?
-No, Jack, it’s
a joke name.

241
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:31,797
You’re being
set up.

242
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:34,008
Damn it!

243
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:37,219
(laughing)

244
00:10:39,347 --> 00:10:40,765
Now, let’s see.

245
00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:43,059
20 minutes at 300 degrees
is the equivalent

246
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:44,477
of five minutes at...

247
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:45,895
Let’s see...
(mumbles)

248
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,104
1,200 degrees.

249
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:50,107
Now...

250
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:53,319
to make the folded index card
that goes in front of the cake.

251
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,238
(loud hissing)

252
00:10:56,322 --> 00:10:57,907
(sniffing)

253
00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,992
(explosion)

254
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,911
(hissing)

255
00:11:01,994 --> 00:11:03,496
(groans)

256
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:06,916
D’oh!

257
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,042
(clock ticks)

258
00:11:08,125 --> 00:11:09,710
No!

259
00:11:09,794 --> 00:11:13,714
Oh. Pink frosting
fixes everything.

260
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:20,388
HOMER:
Say, is your butt numb
from all this vibrating?

261
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:22,306
(laughs)
Oh, mine is.

262
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,558
Still, I wouldn’t describe
it as unpleasant.

263
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:26,644
Well, let’s get
some shut-eye.

264
00:11:27,978 --> 00:11:30,314
Ooh, it’s that
bar I like!

265
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,607
Wait here in the car.

266
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:32,942
Ow!

267
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,738
Okay, this might
hurt a little.

268
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,073
No problem.

269
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,701
(whirring)

270
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,327
Oh, sweet mother
of Mary!

271
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:45,246
(whirring)

272
00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:48,249
(groans)

273
00:11:48,332 --> 00:11:49,834
Okay, Milhouse,
what do you want to do?

274
00:11:49,917 --> 00:11:51,502
Well, the school’s having
a bake sale.

275
00:11:51,585 --> 00:11:52,920
Old Betsy’ll get us there.

276
00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:56,340
(grunting)

277
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,846
We are projecting an
effective stink radius

278
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:04,348
farther than any of us
can kick a kickball.

279
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:07,351
Sir, we have to call off
this bake sale now!

280
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,520
Yes, yes, yes,
we have to do something.

281
00:12:09,603 --> 00:12:14,483
Although, the basketball hoops
have been retracted.

282
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,736
D.J. Fun-times has already
cashed his deposit,

283
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:19,113
and Superintendent Chalmers
won’t be happy to hear...

284
00:12:19,196 --> 00:12:21,365
I won’t be happy to
hear what, Seymour?

285
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:23,159
Um, that, uh, bake sale
revenue projections

286
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:24,744
are through the roof!

287
00:12:24,827 --> 00:12:26,746
I’m very happy to hear that.

288
00:12:26,829 --> 00:12:29,707
You don’t know me at all.

289
00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:32,960
We have to find those
bullies before the
bake sale starts.

290
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:35,838
Martin, run a top-down search
on the school security grid.

291
00:12:35,921 --> 00:12:38,674
Will do, and you chose
the perfect person.

292
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:39,925
(laughs)

293
00:12:45,139 --> 00:12:45,973
(mechanical hum)

294
00:12:46,807 --> 00:12:48,184
(gasps)
The stink bomb!

295
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,186
I can’t let anyone see it!

296
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:51,645
Martin, anything?

297
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:52,730
I wish.

298
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,940
This is as boring
as mainstream cinema.

299
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:56,650
(both laughing)

300
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:57,735
So true.

301
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:03,783
(methodic beeping)

302
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:17,505
Cops. Act natural.

303
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,050
(girly laughter)

304
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:22,635
(high-pitched voice):
Hello, Officer!

305
00:13:22,718 --> 00:13:24,303
Oh, afternoon,
ma’am.

306
00:13:24,386 --> 00:13:26,597
(sighs)
What is it about a woman
in a Dumpster?

307
00:13:29,683 --> 00:13:32,228
(methodic beeping)

308
00:13:43,322 --> 00:13:44,406
Wait!

309
00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:45,825
(grunts)

310
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,284
Mr. Simpson!

311
00:13:47,368 --> 00:13:48,202
(groans)

312
00:13:53,582 --> 00:13:54,834
(gasping)

313
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,836
My cake!

314
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:02,842
(grunts)

315
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:16,021
They’re gonna wish the bake sale
was a nose plug sale.

316
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,815
And it totally isn’t.

317
00:14:17,898 --> 00:14:19,817
(all laughing)

318
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:22,403
Teens?

319
00:14:22,486 --> 00:14:23,946
In Willie’s hidey hole?

320
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:26,448
I’ll mop up your blood
from the inside!

321
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:27,449
(all scream)

322
00:14:33,539 --> 00:14:35,666
(alarm ringing)

323
00:14:35,749 --> 00:14:38,377
We have a fire alarm
in the ventilation room!

324
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:39,295
I’ll check it out.

325
00:14:41,171 --> 00:14:43,507
(door opens, closes)

326
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:44,967
(panting)

327
00:14:45,050 --> 00:14:46,594
(sighs)

328
00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:48,470
♪ Skip, skip,
skip to my Lou... ♪

329
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:49,805
Top of the morning,
Nelson.

330
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,140
And to you, Martin.

331
00:14:51,223 --> 00:14:53,058
♪ Skip to my Lou,
my darling. ♪

332
00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:55,519
Hey, Nelson,
what gives?

333
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,855
Martin just skipped past you
singing "Skip to My Lou,"

334
00:14:57,938 --> 00:14:59,732
and you did nothing.

335
00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:02,151
Can’t a guy enjoy
a catchy tune?

336
00:15:02,234 --> 00:15:03,444
(grunts)

337
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,113
Ow! Ow!

338
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:07,740
I’m unclear
on what you want!

339
00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:11,827
Is Martin working for Jimbo?

340
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:15,331
Uh...

341
00:15:15,414 --> 00:15:16,624
Ow!
(groans)

342
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:17,833
Yes.

343
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,251
Yes what?

344
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,170
Ow!

345
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,421
Yes, sir.

346
00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:24,256
(groans)

347
00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:25,716
Lisa, are you
on a secure line?

348
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:27,092
I am.

349
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,260
You’re on a Bluetooth
cell phone,

350
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,596
the most vulnerable
device known to man.

351
00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:32,264
But it looks so cool.

352
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:33,682
Listen, there’s
a mole inside CTU.

353
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:34,516
A mole?!

354
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:35,768
Yes, a mole.

355
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:37,311
Now, I don’t
have much time,

356
00:15:37,394 --> 00:15:39,188
so I’m just gonna come
right out and say his name,

357
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,314
so get ready
to know his name.

358
00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:42,358
His name is
the following: M...

359
00:15:45,027 --> 00:15:48,989
♪ Skip, skip, skip to my Lou. ♪

360
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,533
(overlapping chatter)

361
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,953
Rice Krispie Treats?!

362
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:56,330
Way to phone it in,
Sarah Wiggum.

363
00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:58,207
Excuse me, excuse me,
I’m in the sale.

364
00:15:58,290 --> 00:15:59,124
I’m in the sale.

365
00:16:01,585 --> 00:16:03,545
Okay, I kept
my end of the deal.

366
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,130
Release my friends.

367
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,303
All here, from
Asimov to Zarathustra.

368
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:13,639
Where’s Phobos?!

369
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,057
He’s with us now.

370
00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:18,143
(groans)

371
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,144
We’re out of here.

372
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,312
Smell you later.

373
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:22,606
Three minutes
later, to be exact.

374
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,525
(beeping)

375
00:16:26,610 --> 00:16:28,612
What have I done?

376
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:53,846
Raisin cake.

377
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:55,431
Who wants raisin cake?

378
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:57,474
Don’t worry, it’s not too moist.

379
00:16:57,558 --> 00:16:59,727
Hmm?

380
00:16:59,810 --> 00:17:01,311
(sighs)

381
00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:04,398
Can I have some
more money?

382
00:17:04,481 --> 00:17:06,316
I gave you ten dollars.

383
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,694
All the other moms
gave their husbands $20.

384
00:17:08,777 --> 00:17:10,446
Well, all
the other husbands

385
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:12,281
don’t come home
dirty from fighting.

386
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:13,532
I had fight.

387
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,200
Lenny said his dad
is Hulk Hogan,

388
00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:16,827
and I know he’s not.

389
00:17:16,910 --> 00:17:18,704
Here’s five
more dollars.

390
00:17:18,787 --> 00:17:19,872
(gasps)

391
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,915
(laughing)

392
00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,042
Bart, are you all right?

393
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,251
Bart?!

394
00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:25,544
Hey, I’m fine.
They haven’t made

395
00:17:25,627 --> 00:17:26,962
a French horn yet
that can hurt me.

396
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,256
Now, I’m sending you
a picture of the bomb.

397
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:30,799
(grunting)

398
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:34,470
My God.

399
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,597
That’s a class-five
stench-dispersal unit.

400
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,474
We have to short
out that fan.

401
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:44,229
"H.D.W."

402
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:45,481
What’s that?

403
00:17:45,564 --> 00:17:46,732
That’s the main valve

404
00:17:46,815 --> 00:17:49,193
of the hot dog water
recirculation system.

405
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:52,780
There’s over 30 years
of wiener soakings in there.

406
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:53,989
Lis, you have
to release that water.

407
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,699
It’s the only way
to short out the fan.

408
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,701
But you and Willie
will drown.

409
00:17:57,785 --> 00:17:59,161
Possibly,
but I can’t risk

410
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:00,496
Superintendent Chalmers
finding out about...

411
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,456
Finding out about what, Seymour?

412
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:05,417
Um, about how early press
coverage of the bake sale

413
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:07,044
is uniformly positive.

414
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:10,214
Once again, you have thoroughly
misgauged my response.

415
00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:12,591
This is going on
your permanent record.

416
00:18:21,225 --> 00:18:23,852
The hot dog water’s
going to push us into the fan!

417
00:18:25,979 --> 00:18:27,815
And I just sharpened
those blades.

418
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:53,549
(weakly):
♪ Skip to my Lou...
my darling. ♪

419
00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:55,884
Bart, I’ve got an idea.

420
00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:58,637
As you’re dying,
jam the blades with your spine.

421
00:18:58,720 --> 00:18:59,721
Keep pitching. I’ll be back.

422
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:00,722
(inhales deeply)

423
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,605
(humming)

424
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:09,690
(gasps)

425
00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:12,401
Look!

426
00:19:12,484 --> 00:19:15,571
A window to
a child’s watery grave!

427
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,781
Don’t worry,
I’ll free the boy.

428
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,032
(crowd gasping)

429
00:19:19,116 --> 00:19:21,493
(gunshots)

430
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:23,537
(gasps)

431
00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:25,414
Damn it! This glass
is bulletproof.

432
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:26,832
There’s nothing
that can shatter it.

433
00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:28,667
MARGE:
Yes, there is!

434
00:19:37,384 --> 00:19:38,635
(beeping)

435
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,596
Huh?

436
00:19:40,679 --> 00:19:42,097
Ooh, a thermos.

437
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,141
With seven cups of
coffee still in it.

438
00:19:44,224 --> 00:19:45,184
Oh, wait, six.

439
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:46,602
Dad, that’s a bomb!

440
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:47,978
Here! It’s yours!

441
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,104
(panting)

442
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,064
(gasps)

443
00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:52,191
How do I stop it?

444
00:19:53,525 --> 00:19:55,235
Oh, that’s convenient.

445
00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:58,572
(sighs)

446
00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:00,032
SKINNER:
Thank goodness
this crisis was averted.

447
00:20:00,115 --> 00:20:01,408
Nicely done, Lisa.

448
00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:03,076
Hey, what about me?

449
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,453
I almost died,
and so did Willie.

450
00:20:04,536 --> 00:20:06,288
(grunting)

451
00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:08,081
Oh, leave me be.

452
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:10,542
I don’t want to live if I
have to clean up this mess.

453
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,928
Oh, my special
little guy.

454
00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:24,181
I’m so glad
you’re okay.

455
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:26,558
Oh, I’m just glad you
taste like hot dogs.

456
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:33,398
(crowd gasps)

457
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:34,358
Good work, Lisa!

458
00:20:34,441 --> 00:20:35,400
What about me?

459
00:20:35,484 --> 00:20:37,402
Bart Simpson,
12 minutes ago,

460
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:39,029
you made an annoying
prank phone call to me.

461
00:20:39,112 --> 00:20:40,030
All units, move in.

462
00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:51,208
I pulled every single field
agent off all other cases

463
00:20:51,291 --> 00:20:53,252
to track you down
and bring you to justice.

464
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:57,047
It was a tough decision, but I
think I made the right call.

465
00:20:57,130 --> 00:21:00,717
(explosion)

466
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:01,551
(all gasp)

467
00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:02,719
It’s okay,
that was Shelbyville.

468
00:21:02,803 --> 00:21:03,804
(all sigh)

469
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,013
(methodic beeping)

470
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:08,350
Captioned by VISUAL DATA

471
00:21:50,517 --> 00:21:52,436
Shh!

472
00:21:54,354 --> 00:21:56,356
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