﻿1
00:00:03,253 --> 00:00:06,297
CHOIR:
<i>♪ The Simpsons ♪</i>

2
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:18,601
(school bell ringing)

3
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(whistle blows)

4
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(beeping)

5
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(playing the blues)

6
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(tires screeching)

7
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D’oh!

8
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(screams)

9
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(Sprach Zarathustra playing)

10
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(aliens laughing)

11
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Weird.

12
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♪♪

13
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{\an8}(sputtering)

14
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{\an8}(sniffing)

15
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{\an8}(excited chittering)

16
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{\an8}Huh?

17
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{\an8}Hmm?

18
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{\an8}(angry grunting)

19
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{\an8}(grunts)

20
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{\an8}Aha!

21
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{\an8}(grunts)

22
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{\an8}Nobody steals
Willie’s breakfast!

23
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{\an8}-(angry chittering)
-(pained yelling)

24
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{\an8}(humming)

25
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{\an8}(backfires)

26
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{\an8}(sleepy moaning)

27
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{\an8}Wow. I must’ve really tied
one on last night.

28
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{\an8}(moans)... No more drinking.

29
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{\an8}Hmm?

30
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{\an8}Hmm... Hmm?

31
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{\an8}(mischievous chuckle)

32
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{\an8}6:00 A.M.

33
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Still early enough to sneak
into bed and pretend

34
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I actually got home at 3:00 A.M.

35
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{\an8}(sneaky chuckle)

36
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{\an8}Huh? Where’s Marge?

37
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{\an8}Hey, kids,
have you seen your mother?

38
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{\an8}Or yourselves?

39
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(whimpers)

40
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Maggie?!

41
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Has anyone seen anyone?!

42
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Oh, of course, they must all
be taking a family bath.

43
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Without me!

44
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Save some suds for...

45
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Daddy.

46
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Hey, boy, do you know
where the family is?

47
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Show me on MapQuest.

48
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(growling)

49
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Fine. Google Maps.

50
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(growling)

51
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(Homer shrieks)

52
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What’s going on?

53
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Why are you attacking me?

54
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{\an8}Look, if this is about me eating
your heart pills,

55
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{\an8}they shouldn’t have made them

56
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{\an8}in Good ’N’ Plenty colors.

57
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(growling)

58
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(whimpers)

59
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{\an8}Moe, my family’s gone,
my dog hates me,

60
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{\an8}and I can’t remember
what happened last night.

61
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{\an8}-Was I here?
-Was you ever.

62
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{\an8}You came in saying you really
needed to forget something;

63
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{\an8}so mixed you up the most
powerful drink I got--

64
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{\an8}the "Forget-Me-Shot."

65
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{\an8}A "Forget-Me-Shot?"
Never heard of it.

66
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{\an8}Yeah, that means it worked.
No one ever remembers.

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That’s why I made this video
to explain the process.

68
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You start with a splash
of Jagermeister...
Mmm!

69
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then add sloe gin...

70
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Got that.

71
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{\an8}-Triple-Sec...
-Right.

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{\an8}-Quadruple-Sec...
-Yeah.

73
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gunk from a dog’s eye,

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Absolut Pikl...

75
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Mmm, pickle.

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...the red stripe
from Aquafresh,

77
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and the funniest ingredient--

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the venom of the Louisiana
Loboto-moth.

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Come on, sweetie.

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(sizzles, burbles)

81
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You stir it
with a home pregnancy test

82
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till it turns positive...

83
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And presto... the
Forget-Me-Shot.

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(chuckles) Jeez, I don’t look
like that.

85
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Whoa.

86
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:37,860
Eh.

87
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(disgusted grunt)

88
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{\an8}The point is, this drink is
the ultimate brain bleacher.

89
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{\an8}One swig wipes out
the last day of your life.

90
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Give me one of those
forget-me drinks!

91
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{\an8}I made a mistake
I gotta wipe out.

92
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{\an8}I was trying to do
a Don Rickles about Arabs,

93
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{\an8}but it turned into a Mel Gibson
about Mexicans.

94
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Ah!

95
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Gaaa!

96
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{\an8}Huh? What the hell
am I doing here?

97
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{\an8}I gotta get back
to the Latin Grammys.

98
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{\an8}(humming)

99
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{\an8}-(Spanish accents)
There he is!
-Get him!

100
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{\an8}-Kill him!
-Hot-sauce his eyes!

101
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{\an8}-(splash and sizzle)
-(Krusty screams)

102
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Oh, my God.

103
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Why would I want to wipe out
my memory?!

104
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What horrible thing did I do?!

105
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,779
You don’t
remember, huh?

106
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There was a domestic disturbance
at your address yesterday.

107
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(gasps)

108
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Chief Wiggum!

109
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I remember seeing you...

110
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(fluttering)

111
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What’s going on here, Simpson?

112
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Am I gonna need
the zip strips?

113
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Everything’s fine--
cupcakes and sprinkles.

114
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I see. And how did
you get <i>that?</i>

115
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What gives, Simpson?

116
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Giving your wife
an Irish kiss?

117
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HOMER:
No, I swear!

118
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It was my fault. I...

119
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I walked into a door.

120
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Walked into a door, huh?

121
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<i>That </i>is the lamest excuse
I ever...

122
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Baa!

123
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All right, door!
You’re coming downtown!

124
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(fluttering)

125
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Marge had a black eye?

126
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I could never do
something like that.

127
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Could I?

128
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Why don’t you ask the person
who filed the complaint?

129
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Not that I am authorized
to release that information...

130
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-Flanders!
-Fine, it was Flanders.

131
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Now, since you know
everything,

132
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who was Jack the Ripper?

133
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The queen’s private surgeon!

134
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Wow.

135
00:06:20,505 --> 00:06:23,174
Flanders, why did you call
the cops last night?

136
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I had to--
I heard a hubbub, Bub.

137
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What did I do?!

138
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I can’t say for sure,
but as a Christian,

139
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I assume the worst.

140
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(door slams)

141
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What happened in this room?!

142
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If only these walls could talk.

143
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People would pay to come see
my amazing talking walls,

144
00:06:40,024 --> 00:06:41,901
and I could use that money to...

145
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Hey, a memory!

146
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(fluttering)

147
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Stop! Homer, please!

148
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(fluttering)

149
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My eye!

150
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(fluttering)

151
00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,290
No, it can’t be!

152
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I would never hurt Marge!

153
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I’m a good man!

154
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KRUSTY:
Yeah, yeah, me too!

155
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(yelling)

156
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You know, doing this is
just confirming a stereotype

157
00:07:05,383 --> 00:07:07,051
for you Mexicans.

158
00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:08,553
I am from Costa Rica!

159
00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:10,304
And I should care because? Ow!

160
00:07:15,476 --> 00:07:18,312
Thank goodness you come
to visit me, son!

161
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:21,482
I can’t take one more minute
of this high school glee club

162
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pretending they don’t hate
being here.

163
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(lethargically)
♪ Oh, what a night ♪

164
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♪ You know
I didn’t even know her name ♪

165
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♪ But I was never
gonna be the same ♪

166
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♪ What a lady ♪

167
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♪ What a night... ♪

168
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You’ll eat our cookies,
but you won’t look at us!

169
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:46,549
Dad, I can’t remember
what I did last night.

170
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,050
Do you have any idea?

171
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:51,053
You come to <i>me</i>
for help rememberin’?

172
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,264
That’s like asking your horse
to do your taxes,

173
00:07:53,347 --> 00:07:55,016
which I did back in 1998.

174
00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:58,603
I’m afraid I did something

175
00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:00,605
to make Marge
and the kids leave me.

176
00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:03,232
Wait. I know someone
who can help you--

177
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:06,444
a doctor who helps people
dig up old memories.

178
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:07,278
Really?

179
00:08:07,361 --> 00:08:08,613
Oh, that’s great, Dad.

180
00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:10,072
How can I ever
repay you?

181
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:13,075
Punch that orderly
who takes sips out of my juice.

182
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,452
Done.

183
00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:19,373
No, wait.

184
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,542
That’s the guy
that saved my life.

185
00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:24,295
MAN:
<i>Mr. Simpson,</i>

186
00:08:24,378 --> 00:08:26,631
I have built a device
that will enable you

187
00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:27,924
to explore
your memories.

188
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,425
The science was easy,

189
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,219
but now I’ve got
the hard part,

190
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:32,470
coming up
with a name.

191
00:08:32,553 --> 00:08:33,638
How about
The Deja View-Master?

192
00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:34,931
Uh...

193
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,432
-Remembrance
of things fast?
-Hmm.

194
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,017
The Remembererer?

195
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,685
We don’t have to come
up with it now.

196
00:08:39,769 --> 00:08:40,978
Oh, my wedding!

197
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,355
Oh, that was
a crazy time...

198
00:08:42,438 --> 00:08:43,731
My first
beard!

199
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,983
These wonderful wrinkle-bags
are reliving

200
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:48,444
their cherished memories
of yesteryear.

201
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,905
Ah, my first Christmas.

202
00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:53,032
Such great Chinese food.

203
00:08:53,115 --> 00:08:54,617
This is great!

204
00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:57,119
I’m finally gonna find out
how I ruined my family!

205
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,996
Strap me in, nerd!

206
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,458
To me, "nerd" stands for
Not Even Remotely Dorky,

207
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,293
so thank you. Thank you
for the compliment.

208
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,254
Now you’ll feel
a slight pinch,

209
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:09,131
followed by an
extremely painful pinch,

210
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,384
signaling that the spike
will begin boring

211
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:13,761
into your skull
three seconds later.

212
00:09:13,844 --> 00:09:14,762
(sing-songy)
Boring.

213
00:09:14,845 --> 00:09:15,805
Yes, that’s
right, boring.

214
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,014
Ow. Ow! <i>Ow!</i>

215
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:18,808
Three, two, one.

216
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,977
(shouting)
<i>Ow!</i>

217
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,062
Ooh!

218
00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:24,814
What the hell?

219
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:28,401
(reading)

220
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:32,488
"This bubble allows you to view
any past event from your life."

221
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:35,950
(sniffs)
Ah, it’s got
that new bubble smell.

222
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:37,952
Hmm.

223
00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:40,788
Aw, I landed
in a pleasant memory.

224
00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:42,832
Look at happy me
and playful them.

225
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:45,042
And we’re off!

226
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:48,421
Now remember--
steer into the sculptures.

227
00:09:48,504 --> 00:09:50,715
(grunts and shrieking)

228
00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:52,717
(Homer laughing)

229
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,429
(squeaking)

230
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:58,681
(whooping)

231
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:01,225
-(all laughing)
-(grunts)

232
00:10:01,309 --> 00:10:04,520
Oh, I miss those bygone days
of earlier this week.

233
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,315
But I’m needed
in a darker place.

234
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:12,612
♪♪

235
00:10:21,495 --> 00:10:25,333
(whooshing)

236
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:26,334
(squeaking)

237
00:10:26,417 --> 00:10:27,668
Wha...?

238
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,879
Those squeaks sound
like couch springs

239
00:10:29,962 --> 00:10:32,548
grooving
to the beat of love!

240
00:10:35,009 --> 00:10:36,927
Hmm? Homer!

241
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,888
I wasn’t expecting you.

242
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,185
Hey, what’s going on here?!

243
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:47,938
Oh, Homer, I didn’t
want you to find out this way.

244
00:10:48,022 --> 00:10:50,024
Another man... with my wife...

245
00:10:50,107 --> 00:10:52,860
in my house...
on top of my <i>TV Guide?!</i>

246
00:10:55,363 --> 00:10:58,240
I got to find out who
that guy is, but I need help.

247
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:00,242
Someone like Bart, only smart.

248
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,661
Lisa!

249
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:02,912
(whooshing)

250
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:08,542
(grunts)

251
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:09,794
(shrieks)
Another me!

252
00:11:09,877 --> 00:11:11,295
You can watch the kids.

253
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,798
Lisa,
I’m about to probe

254
00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:15,049
the most shattering
moment of my life.

255
00:11:15,132 --> 00:11:16,550
You want to join me?

256
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,761
Might as well. You’re getting
this memory mixed up

257
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,471
with a commercial you saw.

258
00:11:20,554 --> 00:11:22,139
<i>ANNOUNCER (V.O.)</i>
<i>With new Synergy Wireless,</i>

259
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,891
<i>nighttime minutes start</i>
<i>at 6:30,</i>

260
00:11:23,974 --> 00:11:26,936
<i>and you get four free</i>
<i>d-cast downloads per month.</i>

261
00:11:27,019 --> 00:11:29,397
<i>Synergy-- it’s your call.</i>

262
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,817
<i>♪ It’s a beautiful morning ♪</i>

263
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:35,069
<i>♪ Ah ♪</i>

264
00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:38,823
<i>♪ I think I’ll go outside</i>
<i>for a while... ♪</i>

265
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,743
Yo, Homer, can you take me
to when you were ten

266
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:44,203
to see if I can
kick your butt?

267
00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:45,246
Bring it on.

268
00:11:45,329 --> 00:11:46,163
(gasps)

269
00:11:47,373 --> 00:11:49,125
Ow! Ooh! Ooh!

270
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:50,960
You’re superior
to me in every way!

271
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:51,919
Oh!

272
00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:53,170
D’oh!

273
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:56,048
Well, let’s see how you do
against 20-year-old Homer.

274
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,883
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

275
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,760
What is it
you want from me?

276
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:01,178
Money? Weed? D’oh!

277
00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:04,348
I’ll teach you
to beat up yester-me!

278
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:06,183
(both grunting)

279
00:12:06,267 --> 00:12:08,144
(whooshing)

280
00:12:09,311 --> 00:12:10,312
(glass clinking)

281
00:12:12,106 --> 00:12:14,775
Dad, you just destroyed
your first kiss.

282
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:15,735
Who was it with?

283
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,319
Uh... Apu.

284
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:18,696
Right.

285
00:12:21,782 --> 00:12:23,826
(whooshing)

286
00:12:26,370 --> 00:12:27,830
Kids, your mom is
with another man,

287
00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:30,583
and I need you
to help me find out who he is.

288
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:33,419
Hmm. Is this really something
I should show you kids?

289
00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:35,379
It’s okay. We’re not
really your kids.

290
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,214
We’re just
representations of them

291
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:38,758
that you created
in your mind.

292
00:12:38,841 --> 00:12:41,552
Really?
Then if I created all this,

293
00:12:41,635 --> 00:12:44,346
that means I can have pizza
anytime I want!

294
00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:45,639
(squeak and pop)

295
00:12:45,723 --> 00:12:48,267
Hello. I’d like
to order a pizza.

296
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:49,518
35 minutes?!

297
00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:55,316
Hey, what’s going on here?!

298
00:12:55,399 --> 00:12:57,234
See? That’s where
my memory stops.

299
00:12:57,318 --> 00:12:59,069
Who the heck
is that guy?

300
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:01,071
What if you just
moved the bottle?

301
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,574
All right. Let me just
get out of this bubble

302
00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:05,201
smoothly
and elegantly.

303
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:06,702
(pop, Homer grunting
and thudding)

304
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:07,661
HOMER:
Ow!

305
00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:11,207
(squeaking and whirring)
Oh!

306
00:13:11,290 --> 00:13:12,708
How can I get my memory
to work?

307
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:17,880
Declarative memory can be broken
into two subsets:

308
00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:20,883
the episodic forms are stored
in the neocortex,

309
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:22,134
while the semantic
ones are...

310
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,385
Oh, can that tuna!

311
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,221
We can get your brain
to work the same way

312
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:27,181
you always get the TV to work--
by hitting it.

313
00:13:28,557 --> 00:13:29,683
(both grunting)

314
00:13:29,767 --> 00:13:30,684
(laughing)

315
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:34,021
(laughs)
(both grunt)

316
00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:36,607
(whirring)

317
00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:38,609
Hey, what’s going on here?

318
00:13:38,692 --> 00:13:42,404
Oh, Homer, I didn’t want you
to find out this way.

319
00:13:42,488 --> 00:13:43,781
(gasps)

320
00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,032
BOTH:
Duffman!

321
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:46,033
BOTH:
Duffman?

322
00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:48,244
Duffman!

323
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:50,037
The mother of
my children

324
00:13:50,120 --> 00:13:52,206
with the reason
for my children!

325
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:54,458
Stop, Homer! Please!

326
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,293
I’m just giving it to your wife.

327
00:13:56,377 --> 00:13:58,504
She is gonna be sore tomorrow.

328
00:13:58,587 --> 00:13:59,672
No!

329
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,382
(whirring)

330
00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:04,969
Your stupid invention made me
realize my life is worthless!

331
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:07,263
Well, if you can’t stand
the neural activity,

332
00:14:07,346 --> 00:14:08,722
stay out of the
neural activator!

333
00:14:08,806 --> 00:14:10,558
(laughs)

334
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:14,186
So I <i>did </i>have butternut
squash last night.

335
00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:17,898
My wife left me.

336
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,358
I’ve done horrible things.

337
00:14:19,441 --> 00:14:20,776
My family’s gone.

338
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,695
My life is ruined.

339
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:26,782
Good-bye, cruel world!

340
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,701
(rumbling)

341
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,870
And good-bye,
Cruller World.

342
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:32,788
Bye, Homer!

343
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:41,422
(gasps)

344
00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:43,132
Are you my guardian angel?

345
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,175
Yes, we are.

346
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,177
Jump and we’ll carry
you to Heaven.

347
00:14:47,261 --> 00:14:50,431
Hey, aren’t trolls supposed
to be under the bridge?

348
00:14:50,514 --> 00:14:53,183
Ha, ha, good-bye.

349
00:14:53,267 --> 00:14:55,102
C’mon, what are you
waiting for?

350
00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:57,271
We want to see if the splash
reaches the moon.

351
00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:59,064
(laughs)
Good one.

352
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:00,149
Wait a minute.

353
00:15:00,232 --> 00:15:01,817
If killing myself
would make you two happy,

354
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,110
then I’m not
gonna do it.

355
00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:04,904
Don’t worry about
our happiness.

356
00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,197
For once,
think of yourself.

357
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:09,074
(screaming)

358
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,701
Ooh.

359
00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:13,621
My life’s flashing
before my eyes.

360
00:15:14,788 --> 00:15:16,790
♪♪

361
00:15:42,232 --> 00:15:44,109
♪♪

362
00:16:12,262 --> 00:16:14,181
♪♪

363
00:16:15,599 --> 00:16:17,476
A life well-lived.

364
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:19,311
Until last night.

365
00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:22,189
I guess I’ll have
to watch that now.

366
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:25,275
(squeaking)

367
00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:26,485
Hey,

368
00:16:26,568 --> 00:16:27,319
what’s going on here?!

369
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,988
Oh, Homer,

370
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,281
I didn’t want you
to find out this way.

371
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:34,326
We were planning
a surprise party for you.

372
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,370
A surprise party?!

373
00:16:36,453 --> 00:16:37,871
Oh.

374
00:16:37,955 --> 00:16:39,415
This magic marker’s
running out of ink.

375
00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,750
(squeaking)

376
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,503
I’m sorry your surprise party
was spoiled.

377
00:16:44,586 --> 00:16:45,838
Are you kidding?

378
00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,506
The mother of
my children

379
00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:49,925
with the reason
for my children!

380
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,885
This is gonna be the
greatest party ever!

381
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:53,929
Oh, yeah!

382
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,681
Duff beer is sponsoring
the party,

383
00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:57,725
featuring new
Duff Champagne

384
00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,685
the beer
of champagnes!

385
00:16:59,768 --> 00:17:01,103
Oh, my God!

386
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:03,105
It’s like Christmas
in December!

387
00:17:03,188 --> 00:17:05,107
Let’s celebrate now.

388
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:07,151
Stop, Homer!
Please!

389
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:08,193
(groans)

390
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:09,069
My eye!

391
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:11,196
(sighs)

392
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,823
Don’t worry, honey.
I’ll get you an ice pack.

393
00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:14,324
Where’s the ice pack?

394
00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:16,326
I’m just giving it
to your wife.

395
00:17:16,410 --> 00:17:19,371
She is gonna be sore
tomorrow.

396
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:23,208
So Marge wasn’t cheating on me;

397
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:27,379
I never hit her; and my family
is throwing me an awesome party.

398
00:17:27,463 --> 00:17:29,048
(chuckles)

399
00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:32,760
Thank God I figured it out
before I did anything stupid.

400
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:35,888
Oh, right.

401
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,224
(screaming)

402
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,018
Huh?

403
00:17:41,101 --> 00:17:42,311
Oh, my God! I’m not dead!

404
00:17:45,189 --> 00:17:47,524
Homie, this is
your party!

405
00:17:47,608 --> 00:17:48,734
(boat horn honking)

406
00:17:48,817 --> 00:17:50,360
This is great!

407
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:52,780
I must be the first
gullible husband

408
00:17:52,863 --> 00:17:55,574
to overhear snippets
of surprise party planning

409
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:58,452
and think it was my wife
having an affair.

410
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,123
♪♪

411
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:04,124
DUFFMAN:
Oh, yeah!

412
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:07,419
Keep it up, people.
The night is young!

413
00:18:07,503 --> 00:18:08,921
-(chuckles)
-(watch beeps)

414
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:10,380
Um, it’s 11:00.

415
00:18:10,464 --> 00:18:12,007
You want to pay
for the extra hour, er?

416
00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,217
Mmm, okay.

417
00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:14,843
Woo-hoo!

418
00:18:14,927 --> 00:18:16,637
Par-tay, people!

419
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:19,389
Geez, Homer, I can’t believe
your plan actually worked.

420
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:20,599
What plan?

421
00:18:20,682 --> 00:18:22,351
Your plan to make
the surprise party

422
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:23,727
a surprise again.
Remember?

423
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:26,814
(fluttering)

424
00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:30,651
Marge put so much work
into that party.

425
00:18:30,734 --> 00:18:32,778
The least I could do is
be surprised.

426
00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:35,948
If only I could forget
what happened today.

427
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,324
I got just the drink
to wipe your mind clean:

428
00:18:37,407 --> 00:18:39,159
the "Forget-Me-Shot."

429
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:41,120
Fellas, if you got
anything you want
to say to Homer

430
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,330
that he’ll never remember,
say it now.

431
00:18:43,413 --> 00:18:44,748
Blue pants
make you look fat.

432
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:46,125
I’ve never learned
your kids’ names.

433
00:18:46,208 --> 00:18:47,543
Your yard is
unkempt.

434
00:18:47,626 --> 00:18:48,919
It is obvious
you’re bald.

435
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:50,462
Your thighs
make noise.

436
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,506
I find your small hands
attractive.

437
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:56,051
I’ve spit in every drink
I ever served you.

438
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,845
-Bottoms up!
-Hmm.

439
00:18:57,928 --> 00:18:59,263
The only problem is,

440
00:18:59,346 --> 00:19:01,265
I’m sure to retain some image
of coming home

441
00:19:01,348 --> 00:19:03,267
and finding Duffman.

442
00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:05,060
No doubt I’ll misconstrue that

443
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:08,480
as him placing a cuckold’s horns
upon my brow.

444
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:11,066
And that will make me
want to jump off a...

445
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:12,526
For the love of God,

446
00:19:12,609 --> 00:19:14,278
make sure the party boat
has a moon bounce.

447
00:19:14,361 --> 00:19:16,363
Okay.

448
00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:17,865
(fluttering)

449
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:18,907
Wow.

450
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:21,201
I’m a genius.

451
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,579
But there are still a few things
I don’t understand.

452
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:25,789
Like why did Marge lie
to Chief Wiggum

453
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:28,041
about how she got
that black eye?

454
00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:30,794
Because I didn’t want him
finding out about the party.

455
00:19:30,878 --> 00:19:32,379
I mean, he’s okay,

456
00:19:32,462 --> 00:19:34,673
but you know he’d bring Sarah,

457
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:36,717
and I just don’t care
for that woman.

458
00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,760
And when you pushed
me off the bridge,

459
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,345
it’s ’cause you knew
about the party

460
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,139
and wanted to make
sure I got here.

461
00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:43,724
Yeah, that must be it.

462
00:19:43,807 --> 00:19:45,642
You know, there’s
an after-party

463
00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:47,019
at the bottom
of the ocean.

464
00:19:47,102 --> 00:19:48,312
This is good for
two free drinks.

465
00:19:48,395 --> 00:19:49,980
Hmm.

466
00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:52,065
The only thing that still
doesn’t make sense is

467
00:19:52,149 --> 00:19:54,443
why the dog attacked me.

468
00:19:54,526 --> 00:19:55,527
Because you never
feed him,

469
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:57,738
walk him or let him
out to pee.

470
00:19:57,821 --> 00:20:00,157
Oh, yeah.

471
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,742
-(growling)
-Who’s an angry dog?

472
00:20:01,825 --> 00:20:06,496
-Who’s an angry dog?
-Now who wants a beer?

473
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:08,790
(shouting)

474
00:20:11,251 --> 00:20:15,672
To a man I’m happy to call
my best friend Homer Simpsno!

475
00:20:15,756 --> 00:20:17,090
Simpson!

476
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:20,177
Dyslexia,
Duffman’s secret shame.

477
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:25,015
♪♪

478
00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:26,516
Aren’t you going
to drink?

479
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,895
No, this is a moment
I want to remember.

480
00:20:29,978 --> 00:20:32,689
Oh.

481
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:38,111
<i>♪ I remember finding out</i>
<i>about you... ♪</i>

482
00:20:38,195 --> 00:20:42,074
(fireworks whistle and pop)

483
00:20:42,157 --> 00:20:47,704
{\an8}<i>♪ Every day</i>
<i>my mind is all around you ♪</i>

484
00:20:57,839 --> 00:21:00,509
{\an8}Captioned by VISUAL DATA

485
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:42,884
Shh!

486
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,307
{\an8}Enhanced by Fotokem

