1 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:06,047 CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:07,549 (tires screeching) 3 00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:10,719 D’oh! 4 00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:11,720 (screams) 5 00:00:16,558 --> 00:00:17,392 Huh? 6 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:32,407 ♪ L is for the way you look at me ♪ 7 00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:38,705 ♪ O is for the only one I see ♪ 8 00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:42,375 ♪ V is very, very ♪ 9 00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:45,170 ♪ Extraordinary ♪ 10 00:00:45,253 --> 00:00:49,174 ♪ E is even more than anyone that you adore can ♪ 11 00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:52,761 {\an8}I can’t wait to see my Valentine’s Day surprise. 12 00:00:52,844 --> 00:00:54,929 Good, ’cause I’m parking at it right now. 13 00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,808 {\an8}A carnival? 14 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,727 What’s so romantic about this? 15 00:01:00,810 --> 00:01:02,145 {\an8}-Bye! -See you later! 16 00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:05,148 {\an8}For the next two hours, we’ll be kid-free. 17 00:01:05,231 --> 00:01:06,649 It’ll be just like the time 18 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:07,650 we lost them at the mall. 19 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:08,651 (chuckles) 20 00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,487 That was the best Christmas ever. 21 00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,658 Ah, the Tunnel of Love. 22 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,203 Nothing gets a woman in your arms faster 23 00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:20,789 than scary robots and simulated privacy. 24 00:01:20,872 --> 00:01:22,540 -(growling) -(screams) 25 00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,125 (chuckling) 26 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,044 -(growling) -(screams) 27 00:01:26,127 --> 00:01:27,545 -(chuckles) -(growling) 28 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,339 -(screams) -(giggles) 29 00:01:30,673 --> 00:01:31,966 (passionate moaning) 30 00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:33,384 -(growling) -(screams) 31 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:34,594 (both laugh) 32 00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:36,054 (both moaning) 33 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:37,722 Marge! Look over there! 34 00:01:37,806 --> 00:01:38,681 (screaming) 35 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:39,974 (both laugh) 36 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:42,685 (both moaning) 37 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:43,728 {\an8}Mom and Dad are in there. 38 00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:44,604 {\an8}Want to ruin their fun? 39 00:01:44,687 --> 00:01:46,689 {\an8}Bart, no, it’s Valentine’s Day. 40 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,149 {\an8}Okay... 41 00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:49,442 {\an8}but if Dad kisses Mom too much, 42 00:01:49,526 --> 00:01:50,985 {\an8}a stork will lay an angel egg in her tummy, 43 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,529 {\an8}and the next thing you know, 44 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,072 {\an8}we find a baby brother in the cabbage patch! 45 00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:57,075 {\an8}Here’s a thumbnail sketch: 46 00:01:57,158 --> 00:01:58,868 {\an8}In the first place, you... 47 00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,286 {\an8}Do whatever you want. 48 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:02,122 I’m getting a candy apple. 49 00:02:05,416 --> 00:02:07,335 (chuckles) 50 00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:14,008 {\an8}(laughs sinisterly) 51 00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,307 (cackling) 52 00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,184 MAN (over PA): Due to a classic Jell-O prank, 53 00:02:23,268 --> 00:02:24,978 {\an8}this ride has been disabled. 54 00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:27,021 {\an8}(cackling) 55 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,023 {\an8}Please remain in your boats. 56 00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:30,567 {\an8}You will be charged for the extra time. 57 00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,777 {\an8}(cackling) 58 00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:35,530 {\an8}This is a terrible Valentine’s Day. 59 00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:37,407 {\an8}What if I told you some of the greatest 60 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:39,409 {\an8}love stories of all time? 61 00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,202 (cackling) 62 00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:42,537 {\an8}"Romeo and Juliet"? 63 00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:43,746 {\an8}"Arthur and Guinevere"? 64 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:44,789 {\an8}Brangelina? 65 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,499 {\an8}(cackling) 66 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,751 {\an8}Even better, a tale of... 67 00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,086 -One moment. -(cackling) 68 00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:56,342 {\an8}A tale of two young outlaws in love. 69 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,845 {\an8}They were the Bonnie and Clyde of their day. 70 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:01,347 Their names were Bonnie and Clyde. 71 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:02,974 {\an8}Miss Bonnie, 72 00:03:03,057 --> 00:03:05,810 {\an8}might I escort you to the picture show? 73 00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:07,812 {\an8}I swear I won’t misbehave. 74 00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:08,980 {\an8}Then no, thank you. 75 00:03:09,063 --> 00:03:10,565 {\an8}This is Texas, 76 00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:12,817 {\an8}future home of Akeem Olajuwon! 77 00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:15,195 And I’ve got dreams as big as he will be. 78 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,654 I want action! 79 00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:18,531 Action, eh? 80 00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:19,741 -(grunts) -(groans) 81 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:22,327 Clyde Barrow, 82 00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:23,620 local bad boy. 83 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:24,579 Bonnie Parker. 84 00:03:24,662 --> 00:03:27,123 Say, if you’re so bad, 85 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,249 you could go stick up 86 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,126 that feed store over yonder. 87 00:03:31,336 --> 00:03:33,463 {\an8}-Hmm. -Unless... 88 00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:35,173 {\an8}you’re chicken. 89 00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:36,674 {\an8}No one calls me "chicken" 90 00:03:36,758 --> 00:03:39,260 {\an8}without goading me into doing something stupid! 91 00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:41,596 (glass shattering) 92 00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:44,098 (mahine gun fire) 93 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:46,935 {\an8}GRAMPA: Ya idjit! 94 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,187 {\an8}You could’ve had anything you want for free! 95 00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:51,272 You’re a co-owner! 96 00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,358 I’ll see you at Thanksgiving! 97 00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:55,401 (rapid gunfire) 98 00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:58,446 Oats! 99 00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:00,240 Texas caviar! 100 00:04:00,323 --> 00:04:02,158 (excited laughter) 101 00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,161 HOMER: Good times. 102 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:07,247 (passionate moaning) 103 00:04:07,330 --> 00:04:09,707 Finally. Some excitement. 104 00:04:09,791 --> 00:04:13,169 CLYDE: Wow, I guess violence is her only turn-on. 105 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:14,254 Well, there might be others, 106 00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:16,047 but I’m too lazy to figure out what they are. 107 00:04:16,130 --> 00:04:17,298 So violence it is! 108 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:21,511 Oh, there’s somethin’ this kissin’ is missin’. 109 00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:28,893 {\an8}Oh, Clyde, you know just what a girl likes. 110 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:31,020 {\an8}-(moaning) -(chuckles) 111 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,647 -(rapid gunfire) -(howling with laughter) 112 00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:35,233 Why are you shooting at us? 113 00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:36,359 We cooperated fully! 114 00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:37,610 It’s a sex thing! 115 00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:38,820 Say no more! 116 00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:40,363 (starter grinding) 117 00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:41,489 Hey, can I give you folks a lift? 118 00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:44,325 Yes, to a series of banks, up and down the state. 119 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,661 Banks? Well, deposit yourselves in a seat 120 00:04:46,744 --> 00:04:48,413 because you’ve earned my interest! 121 00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:53,334 (gunfire) 122 00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:55,253 NEWSREEL NARRATOR: Dateline: Texas. 123 00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:57,130 A nation, crippled by unemployment 124 00:04:57,213 --> 00:04:58,548 and bored by Seabiscuit, 125 00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,925 embraces two unlikely folk heroes. 126 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,719 (people cheering) 127 00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:06,514 Bonnie and Clyde souvenirs are flying off the shelves, 128 00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:10,476 and the Dust Bowl duo has inspired their own radio show. 129 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,352 ACTOR ( a la young George Burns): Uh, Bonnie, 130 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,937 where did you put the money we stole? 131 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:14,439 ACTRESS (a la Gracie Allen): I filed it under "G." 132 00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:15,315 Under "G"? 133 00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:16,941 Why would you file it under "G"? 134 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,985 Because gee , it’s swell to have all that money. 135 00:05:19,068 --> 00:05:20,528 I see. 136 00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:22,739 NEWSREEL NARRATOR: Their notoriety has reached 137 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,532 the highest levels of government. 138 00:05:24,615 --> 00:05:27,243 To deal with the menace of Bonnie and Clyde, 139 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:30,246 I am recalling all our air defense forces 140 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,456 from Pearl Harbor. 141 00:05:31,539 --> 00:05:33,207 (cheering) 142 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:36,252 Somebody please remind me to move them back. 143 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,589 I would be honored to perform that duty. 144 00:05:39,672 --> 00:05:41,007 They’re outlaws?! 145 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:43,509 I’ve been played like a pair of spoons! 146 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:44,927 Well, who am I to judge? 147 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:47,055 It’s the Depression, money’s tight... 148 00:05:47,138 --> 00:05:49,223 NEWSREEL NARRATOR: Anyone who sees this unmarried couple should... 149 00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,641 Unmarried?! 150 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:52,101 That’s it. I’m turning them in. 151 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,519 Hey, keep it down, will ya? 152 00:05:53,603 --> 00:05:55,855 The part where all my men get killed is coming up. 153 00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:58,358 Listen, Sheriff, I can help you take down Bonnie and Clyde. 154 00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:01,319 (sighs) After the racially insensitive cartoon. 155 00:06:01,402 --> 00:06:03,112 {\an8}("La Cucaracha" playing) 156 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,030 (snoring) 157 00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:05,448 (gasps) 158 00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,241 One taco coming up. 159 00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:13,790 (rumbling) 160 00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:15,458 (laughing) 161 00:06:20,671 --> 00:06:22,340 Even I’m offended by this, 162 00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:24,092 and I’m a fat Southern sheriff. 163 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,305 Um... the battery seems to be dead. 164 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:32,016 I’ll get some help by hiding in that bush. 165 00:06:33,142 --> 00:06:34,852 Come on, shoot! Shoot! 166 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,437 Oh! Not me! 167 00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:38,523 (cocking gun) (rapid gunfire) 168 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,483 Bonnie, I love you. 169 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:41,484 Will you marry me? 170 00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,361 I don’t know. 171 00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:45,696 I guess I’m just looking for a little more excitement. 172 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,783 Okay, but if you change your mind, you know where I’m at. 173 00:06:48,866 --> 00:06:51,619 Mm, I think we should see other people. 174 00:06:51,702 --> 00:06:54,997 Say, Officer, I like how you handle that gun. 175 00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:56,165 Thanks. 176 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,167 I like the way you take a bullet. 177 00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,086 Hey, back off! She’s my girl! 178 00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,712 Darn. Just my luck. 179 00:07:04,132 --> 00:07:07,385 (rapid gunfire) Cool. Now we’re shooting the birds 180 00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:08,428 that are pecking at the bodies. 181 00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:11,222 (imitating gunfire) 182 00:07:11,305 --> 00:07:12,056 Ow! Oh! Oh! 183 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,099 (imitating gunfire) 184 00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:13,933 Aah! Gaa! 185 00:07:14,016 --> 00:07:15,309 (imitating gunfire) 186 00:07:15,393 --> 00:07:16,310 Oh! Gaa! Gah! 187 00:07:16,394 --> 00:07:17,728 So that’s the end of the story, huh? 188 00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:18,813 You’d think so, but... 189 00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:20,398 (imitating gunfire) 190 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:21,441 Oh! Oh! Oh! 191 00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,776 (squishing) 192 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,111 We want to hear a story. 193 00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:27,071 A story suitable for children. 194 00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,448 All right. 195 00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:31,534 This is a story of two dogs with a love so strong, 196 00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:33,828 no hose could separate them. 197 00:07:33,911 --> 00:07:36,456 I call it Shady and the Vamp. 198 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:38,541 (bright, cheery music plays) 199 00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:43,129 (humming, panting playfully) 200 00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,468 (sighs): She’s so beautiful. 201 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:51,679 Imagine what she looks like with her collar off. 202 00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:53,222 A mutt like you could never get 203 00:07:53,306 --> 00:07:54,515 a fancy dame like that. 204 00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:56,684 Even her fleas have more class than you. 205 00:07:56,767 --> 00:07:58,769 (classical music playing ) 206 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:00,771 (snooty accent): Lady Bitington, will you be summering 207 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:02,940 in the hindquarters again this year? 208 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,650 Oh, no! 209 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,195 Chompy and I have taken a cottage in West Leg. 210 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,864 It’s where all the fleas are fleeing. 211 00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:11,991 (pretentious giggling) 212 00:08:12,074 --> 00:08:14,076 Watch and learn. 213 00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:19,499 (barks) 214 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:24,253 You know, heaven must have left its doggie door open 215 00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:26,130 because you are one... 216 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:30,218 (repeated grunts and groans) 217 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:31,469 (gate creaks) 218 00:08:31,552 --> 00:08:34,222 (gasps) Oh, you poor thing! 219 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,810 Is there anything I can do? 220 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:42,313 (woozily) You can have dinner with me. 221 00:08:42,396 --> 00:08:43,606 (warily) All right. 222 00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:45,107 But keep your nose where I can see it. 223 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,609 Can you bring a friend for me? 224 00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:49,028 I like those chicks with them head cones-- 225 00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:52,073 when they start talking, you can drop below the horizon. 226 00:08:52,156 --> 00:08:53,658 (annoyed grunt) 227 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:00,456 (scratching) 228 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:04,293 Oh, Shady, you on a date, huh? 229 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,670 How’s it-a goin’? 230 00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:06,629 Ruff! Ruff! 231 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,923 Oh, you say it’s-a goin’ kinda-a rough? 232 00:09:09,006 --> 00:09:11,300 That is precisely what I’m saying. 233 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,510 Sit down. Sit down. 234 00:09:12,593 --> 00:09:14,720 I bring-a you a nice-a bowl of Chianti. 235 00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:22,645 (plays romantic melody) 236 00:09:26,774 --> 00:09:27,858 (slurping) 237 00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:31,153 Let go! Let go! 238 00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:34,073 (muffled) No. You let go of the spaghetti! 239 00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:35,157 (grunts, barks) 240 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,200 (slurps) 241 00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:37,410 (giggling) 242 00:09:37,493 --> 00:09:39,036 (chuckling) Hey. 243 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,747 You’re pretty feisty for an upper-class bitch. 244 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,874 Oh, I like that you use 245 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:46,335 the technical term for a female dog. 246 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:47,837 LUIGI: Run, run! 247 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,006 The health inspector man, she’s-a here! 248 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,136 Why didn’t I listen to Mama? 249 00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:57,388 "Serve-a food to humans!" 250 00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:59,932 (playful laughter) 251 00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:04,312 I have to admit, that was exciting. 252 00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:06,355 And... I am in heat. 253 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,024 That’s the safe time, right? 254 00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,233 Oh, the safest. 255 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:11,277 (chuckles) 256 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,445 (both moaning) 257 00:10:12,528 --> 00:10:15,031 (music swells) 258 00:10:19,577 --> 00:10:23,623 That was the most wonderful night of my life. 259 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,041 (retches) 260 00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:26,167 That’s odd. 261 00:10:26,250 --> 00:10:27,209 I’m never sick in the morning. 262 00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:28,878 What could it be? 263 00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:31,547 Oh, uh... Is that a foxhunt I hear? 264 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:34,592 (imitating hunting horn) 265 00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:38,596 Shady! 266 00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:41,390 (sighs heavily) 267 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,559 I haven’t seen Shady in weeks. 268 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,561 (music begins) 269 00:10:47,396 --> 00:10:49,065 ♪ Any minute now ♪ 270 00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:53,027 ♪ He’ll scamper through that doggie door ♪ 271 00:10:53,110 --> 00:10:55,112 ♪ Any minute now ♪ 272 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:58,824 ♪ I’ll be the dog she’s lookin’ for ♪ 273 00:10:58,908 --> 00:11:01,160 ♪ Any minute now ♪ 274 00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:04,413 ♪ You’ll be stuck with her brood ♪ 275 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,041 ♪ Any minute now ♪ 276 00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:11,921 ♪ This pooch will know she’s screwed ♪ 277 00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:16,133 ♪ My heart tells me to trust him ♪ 278 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:19,970 ♪ But your head knows he’s a hound ♪ 279 00:11:20,054 --> 00:11:23,557 ♪ I want to do the right thing ♪ 280 00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:26,727 ♪ Come on, with all this high-class tail around? ♪ 281 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,106 FLEAS: ♪ Any minute now ♪ 282 00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:33,776 ♪ Our girl will make a brand-new start ♪ 283 00:11:33,859 --> 00:11:35,486 ♪ Yesss! ♪ 284 00:11:35,569 --> 00:11:38,030 ♪ Any minute now ♪ 285 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:42,618 ♪ I won’t care that he broke my heart ♪ 286 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:46,539 ♪ Any minute now ♪ 287 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,795 (playful yipping) 288 00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,880 -Where’s our dad? -We need Daddy! 289 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,841 -I want to go find Daddy! -Where’s Daddy?! 290 00:11:56,924 --> 00:11:59,677 I don’t want to hear another word about your father. 291 00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:07,893 (sobbing) 292 00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:12,273 Hm? 293 00:12:12,356 --> 00:12:13,941 We gotta find our daddy. 294 00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:15,735 Yeah, he’s gotta teach me how to lick my... 295 00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,445 Oh, I figured it out. 296 00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:18,571 You go ahead. 297 00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:19,905 Come on! 298 00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,407 -Oh, Shady! -Oh, Shady! 299 00:12:21,490 --> 00:12:23,451 -Shady! -Shady! 300 00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,035 -Daddy! -Daddy! 301 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:26,245 We need you, Daddy! 302 00:12:26,328 --> 00:12:27,913 Daddy! 303 00:12:29,790 --> 00:12:31,083 Ah, got ya! 304 00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,669 You strays are going straight to the pound 305 00:12:33,753 --> 00:12:36,464 where you’ll be put to sleep... 306 00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:39,341 by my boring stories. 307 00:12:39,425 --> 00:12:40,301 And then you’ll be killed! 308 00:12:40,384 --> 00:12:41,719 (screaming) 309 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,892 Ah, looks like that problem solved it self. 310 00:12:47,975 --> 00:12:51,437 Now, uh, how ’bout you and me sniff each other’s butts? 311 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:53,939 (embarrassed chuckling): I’m just kiddin’. 312 00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,107 Unless you want to. 313 00:13:00,237 --> 00:13:03,616 Well, Looks like it’s just you and me again tonight. 314 00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:05,868 (grunting) 315 00:13:15,252 --> 00:13:17,254 (Goofy voice): Gawrsh, you can’t kill me. 316 00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:18,672 I’m half-human! 317 00:13:18,756 --> 00:13:21,550 Look, I wear clothes! I speak English! 318 00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,344 I’m speaking it right now! 319 00:13:23,427 --> 00:13:25,805 Sure you are. 320 00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:27,598 (gas hissing) 321 00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,809 (Goofy coughing, gasping) 322 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,812 (gasping fades) 323 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,605 (both gasp) 324 00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:35,898 You two are next. 325 00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:37,316 Here’s your last meal. 326 00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:38,776 It’s Cycle 5, 327 00:13:38,859 --> 00:13:42,738 specially formulated for dogs with five minutes to live. 328 00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:45,783 (barks) 329 00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:47,618 Don’t bite the hand that kills ye! 330 00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:49,745 -(barking) -(screaming) 331 00:13:51,121 --> 00:13:52,373 Yay, Dad! 332 00:13:52,456 --> 00:13:53,999 I knew you’d come save us! 333 00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:56,961 You two are going home, and I’m coming with ya! 334 00:13:57,962 --> 00:13:58,712 (barking) 335 00:13:58,796 --> 00:14:00,005 (latch opens) 336 00:14:01,215 --> 00:14:02,299 (coughing) 337 00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:04,134 This place is no picnic, 338 00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:06,428 but it sure beats working for Disney. 339 00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:07,888 (Goofy laugh) 340 00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:15,604 (gasps) 341 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:16,814 Look who we found! 342 00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:18,482 Can I keep him? Can we keep him? 343 00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:20,067 Well, that depends. 344 00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:22,027 Does he want to stay? 345 00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,779 I want to stay, sit, 346 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,906 roll over and beg! 347 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,659 Please, please, please, please, please, please, please...! 348 00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:31,370 All right, we can be a family. 349 00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:32,621 (kissing) 350 00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:34,999 (chuckles) All four of us. 351 00:14:35,082 --> 00:14:38,711 Uh... you know, there are nine other puppies. 352 00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:40,212 Ruh-oh. 353 00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,047 (barking) 354 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:53,350 Oh, even love is boring when you’re stuck in a tunnel of it. 355 00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:55,144 Well, I’ve got a Valentine’s Day story! 356 00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:57,438 It’s about musicians from a simpler time. 357 00:14:57,521 --> 00:15:01,275 The era of The Brady Bunch, Donny and Marie and... 358 00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:02,526 (raucous punk rock song playing) 359 00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,403 ♪ Smash the flag ♪ 360 00:15:04,486 --> 00:15:06,322 ♪ Burn the queen ♪ 361 00:15:06,405 --> 00:15:08,198 ♪ Kick the sky ♪ 362 00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:09,992 ♪ Antichrist! ♪ 363 00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,706 Nancy, what are the odds? 364 00:15:15,789 --> 00:15:18,584 You sign up for a semester at U. of London; 365 00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:20,878 then I immediately do the same. 366 00:15:20,961 --> 00:15:23,130 Yeah, I’m really lucky you saved me 367 00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:25,925 from meeting other people and having new experiences. 368 00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,594 (punk rock song playing inside club) 369 00:15:28,677 --> 00:15:31,722 What is that raw, primal sound? 370 00:15:31,805 --> 00:15:33,349 You can’t go in there. 371 00:15:33,432 --> 00:15:36,185 Our guidebook says not to! 372 00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:38,354 (shouting): ♪ Hitler and her majesty ♪ 373 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:40,105 ♪ Sittin’ in a tree ♪ 374 00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:43,317 ♪ B-O-R-R-I-N-G! ♪ 375 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:44,610 You rule, Sid Vicious! 376 00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:46,195 You sicken me! 377 00:15:46,278 --> 00:15:47,237 (grunts) 378 00:15:49,990 --> 00:15:51,617 Why am I hittin’ myself? 379 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:53,035 Why am I hittin’ myself? 380 00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,621 He’s so uncompromising. 381 00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:59,375 He’d never go for an uncool spelling bee champion like me. 382 00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:00,918 I’ve spelled "unrequited." 383 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,836 Now I know what it means. 384 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,630 Yo. I got Duds, 385 00:16:04,713 --> 00:16:07,675 Chunks, Twix, Cadbury’s, any way you want to go. 386 00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:09,385 Chocolate? 387 00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:12,096 Nancy’s too smart to put that in her body. 388 00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:15,099 It’s only for losers, like musicians and... 389 00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:17,393 Musicians?! 390 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:19,061 That’s my girlfriend. 391 00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:21,563 Then I guess you’ll be paying for her chocolate. 392 00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:23,023 Uh, okay. 393 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:24,650 Gotcha! 394 00:16:24,733 --> 00:16:26,235 That’s nice work, officer Otto. 395 00:16:26,318 --> 00:16:28,278 (British accent): Happy to be of service, old bean. 396 00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:30,239 ♪ ...cannon, neat, neat, neat ♪ 397 00:16:30,322 --> 00:16:31,699 ♪ She can’t afford a gun at all ♪ 398 00:16:31,782 --> 00:16:33,701 ♪ Neat, neat, neat. ♪ 399 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:35,327 (coin clinks in slot) 400 00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,413 ♪ S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y ♪ 401 00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:38,706 ♪ Night! ♪ 402 00:16:38,789 --> 00:16:41,083 ♪ S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y ♪ 403 00:16:41,166 --> 00:16:42,418 ♪ Night ♪ 404 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,753 ♪ S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night ! 405 00:16:44,837 --> 00:16:46,255 (grunting) 406 00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,634 (laughing) 407 00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:51,802 (door squeaks open) 408 00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,806 (British accent): Look, an American nerd bird. 409 00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:57,307 Nerd bird? 410 00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,184 Would a nerd bird have chocolate, huh? 411 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:00,602 Would a nerd bird? 412 00:17:00,686 --> 00:17:02,229 (British accent): Stop saying "nerd bird!" 413 00:17:02,312 --> 00:17:03,522 Chocolate is boring. 414 00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:05,399 Maybe I’ll have a piece. 415 00:17:05,482 --> 00:17:08,235 You know, just to see how boring it is. 416 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,616 Oh, you’re offering me some? 417 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:16,577 Um... I guess I could. 418 00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:18,287 I mean, I do it all the time! 419 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,419 -Oh! -Oh! 420 00:17:25,502 --> 00:17:27,671 Yup, it’s boring all right. 421 00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:29,048 How much more you got? 422 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:30,257 Lots. 423 00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:32,342 ♪ Ever fallen in love with someone? ♪ 424 00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:34,428 ♪ In love, in love with someone ♪ 425 00:17:34,511 --> 00:17:35,429 ♪ Ever fallen in love ♪ 426 00:17:35,512 --> 00:17:37,181 ♪ In love with someone ♪ 427 00:17:37,264 --> 00:17:40,934 ♪ You shouldn’t’ve fallen in love with? ♪ 428 00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,227 ♪ I can’t see much of a future ♪ 429 00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,687 (knocking) 430 00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:45,981 ♪ Unless we find out what’s to blame ♪ 431 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:46,982 ♪ What a shame ♪ 432 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,281 ♪ And we won’t be together much longer ♪ 433 00:17:54,364 --> 00:17:57,826 ♪ Unless we realize that we are the same ♪ 434 00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:04,249 ♪ Ever fallen in love with someone ♪ 435 00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:05,250 ♪ Ever fallen in love ♪ 436 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,668 ♪ In love with someone ♪ 437 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:07,878 ♪ Ever fallen in love ♪ 438 00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:09,463 ♪ In love with someone ♪ 439 00:18:09,546 --> 00:18:12,883 {\an8}♪ You shouldn’t’ve fallen in love with? ♪ 440 00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:20,265 We’re gonna go out and play our songs 441 00:18:20,349 --> 00:18:23,060 like we’ve never played them before-- competently! 442 00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:24,770 Oh... Where’s Sid? 443 00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:29,149 Sidney Sheldon Vicious! 444 00:18:29,233 --> 00:18:31,235 Where you been, chompin’ Wonka? 445 00:18:31,318 --> 00:18:34,154 (both laughing) 446 00:18:34,238 --> 00:18:36,949 When I hired a guy named Sid Vicious, 447 00:18:37,032 --> 00:18:40,536 I assumed it would be a 30-year business relationship. 448 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:43,664 I told you to hire Tom Responsible. 449 00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:45,290 Slag off. 450 00:18:45,374 --> 00:18:48,377 Here they are, all the way from outside of Texas: 451 00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,462 the Sex Pistols. 452 00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:53,507 (grumbling) 453 00:18:53,590 --> 00:18:55,300 ♪ Education’s bollocks! ♪ 454 00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:56,593 ♪ Bollocks! ♪ 455 00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:58,303 ♪ America is bollocks! ♪ 456 00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,638 ♪ Bollocks! ♪ 457 00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:01,598 ♪ Politeness is bollocks! ♪ 458 00:19:01,682 --> 00:19:03,976 ♪ Bollocks! ♪ 459 00:19:04,059 --> 00:19:05,227 (groans) 460 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,812 Can’t reach me bass. 461 00:19:06,895 --> 00:19:08,689 Me back is frontward! 462 00:19:10,023 --> 00:19:10,899 (cymbals clank) 463 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,359 (explosion) 464 00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:18,740 Dang it, I wanted to hear what else was bollocks! 465 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,909 (clamoring) 466 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:22,911 (chicken clucking) 467 00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,038 You gobbed up our gig, you git! 468 00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:27,207 (groans) 469 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:28,542 You leave Sid alone! 470 00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:29,626 He doesn’t need you! 471 00:19:29,710 --> 00:19:31,712 He’s quitting the band! 472 00:19:31,795 --> 00:19:32,921 I’m doing what now? 473 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,381 You’re quitting the band. 474 00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:37,050 He’s going solo, and I’m gonna write his songs! 475 00:19:37,134 --> 00:19:38,468 Yeah! 476 00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:40,095 Hey, you guys want to be in my new band? 477 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,139 (groans) Just stop talking 478 00:19:42,222 --> 00:19:44,057 and bang your head against the wall! 479 00:19:44,141 --> 00:19:45,309 (grunting) 480 00:19:45,392 --> 00:19:47,227 I’m doing this ’cause I want to, 481 00:19:47,311 --> 00:19:48,353 not ’cause she told me to. 482 00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:49,771 Bang harder! 483 00:19:49,855 --> 00:19:50,981 Yes, pet. 484 00:19:51,064 --> 00:19:52,107 (grunting) 485 00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:54,818 (rock intro plays) 486 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:57,905 ♪ ’Cause love is the elixir ♪ 487 00:19:57,988 --> 00:19:59,823 ♪ The potion of emotion ♪ 488 00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:02,451 ♪ The world-saving fixer ♪ 489 00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,536 ♪ The lotion of devotion. ♪ 490 00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,123 This song doesn’t make me feel angry at all. 491 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,876 If anything, it makes my anger ebb! 492 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,879 (grunts) 493 00:20:13,962 --> 00:20:15,464 Your music violates everything punk stands for, 494 00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:16,673 which is nothing! 495 00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:18,842 You are no longer welcome at CBGB’s-- 496 00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,886 Comic Book Guy’s Bar. 497 00:20:20,969 --> 00:20:22,554 Oh, forget those jerks. 498 00:20:22,638 --> 00:20:25,307 Let’s go back to the hotel and get Snicker-faced. 499 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:28,477 Oh, I love you, my Hershey hero. 500 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,604 And I love you, Tootsie Roll. 501 00:20:33,690 --> 00:20:35,317 (otherwordly music plays) 502 00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:43,951 Happy Valentine’s Day 503 00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:47,496 and shut your gob. 504 00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:57,798 {\an8}Captioned by VISUAL DATA 505 00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:39,339 Shh! 506 00:21:42,718 --> 00:21:44,720 {\an8}Enhanced by Fotokem