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00:00:03,211 --> 00:00:06,464
CHOIR:
♪ The Simpsons ♪
2
00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:09,718
(school bell ringing)
3
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(whistle blows)
4
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(beeping)
5
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(playing the blues)
6
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(playing the blues)
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(tires screech)
8
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D’oh!
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(screams)
10
00:00:37,912 --> 00:00:38,913
(tires screech)
11
00:01:01,102 --> 00:01:03,063
{\an8}Ow! Mom, Lisa hit me!
12
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{\an8}I did not!
13
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,274
{\an8}Kids, knock it off.
14
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{\an8}I’m uncomfortable driving
your father’s car as it is.
15
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{\an8}What the...?
16
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{\an8}(gasps):
Oh!
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{\an8}Fine! We’ll divide the car
into your side and my side.
18
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{\an8}My leg is the barrier.
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{\an8}Mom!
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{\an8}The system works!
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{\an8}(grunting)
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{\an8}It’s not funny!
23
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{\an8}Your wearing cleats!
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{\an8}(Lisa grunting)
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{\an8}Stop it! Stop it!
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{\an8}(crash)
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{\an8}(all gasp)
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{\an8}(muffled yelling)
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{\an8}(muffled groan)
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{\an8}(groans)
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{\an8}(panting)
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{\an8}Sorry I’m late--
I was in a car crash.
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{\an8}Many hurt,
but nobody cool was harmed.
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{\an8}Just sit down, Bart.
35
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{\an8}Huh?!
36
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:03,706
{\an8}Who’s the new
meat in my seat?
37
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{\an8}Bart, this is Donny--
he’s here at our school
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{\an8}because he was
kicked out of P.S. 132.
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{\an8}P.S. That school sucked.
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{\an8}(laughter)
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{\an8}Don’t worry, Bart,
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{\an8}Willie’s bringing you
something to sit on.
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{\an8}(screeching and scraping,
Willie humming happily)
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{\an8}Hey, Krabappel,
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{\an8}your name sounds
like "crab apple."
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{\an8}Did you go sour waiting
for someone to pick you?
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{\an8}(groans):
Pretty much.
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00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:30,441
{\an8}(laughter)
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00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:35,405
{\an8}Huh?
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00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:36,990
{\an8}(kid grunts)
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{\an8}(kids murmuring)
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{\an8}(Donny grunts)
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{\an8}(loud splat)
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{\an8}(cheering, laughter)
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{\an8}Isn’t he awesome?
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{\an8}When he grows up,
I want to be like me!
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{\an8}(growls)
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{\an8}Look, new kid,
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{\an8}I’m the head hamster in
this habitrail, capisce?
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{\an8}Well, maybe there’s
a new guinea pig in your cage.
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{\an8}Capisce that?
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{\an8}Oh, I capisce.
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{\an8}I capisce just fine.
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{\an8}(chuckles):
Oh, well, you just
keep on capisce-ing.
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{\an8}KIDS: Ooh!
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{\an8}BART: Oh!
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{\an8}(derisive laughter)
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{\an8}See-saw!
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{\an8}(groans):
Oh!
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{\an8}Mr. Simpson, this damage
will take a week to fix.
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{\an8}While your car’s in the shop,
uh, you can drive this loaner.
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{\an8}Loa... ner?
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{\an8}She’s right here.
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{\an8}Wow.
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{\an8}This is the kind of car
you see in commercials!
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{\an8}How much am I
paying for this?
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-Nothing.
-It seems like a lot.
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{\an8}On the contrary.
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{\an8}The loaner car
is complimentary.
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{\an8}It’s standard policy.
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00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:45,350
{\an8}Really? Oh!
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{\an8}You people are idiots!
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{\an8}(laughing hysterically)
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{\an8}That’s the dumb...
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{\an8}(continues laughing)
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What a stu...
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(continues laughing)
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I mean, that sounds fair.
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Okay, so...
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(resumes laughing)
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00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:06,246
Look at you! Idiots!
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(to "Owner of a Lonely Heart"):
♪ Driver of a loaner car ♪
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♪ Much better than a ♪
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♪ Driver of my normal car... ♪
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(imitating drum solo)
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Whoa! Fancy wheels!
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00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:20,218
What song
does the horn play?
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None.
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Classy.
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00:04:22,178 --> 00:04:24,013
Wha...?
101
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,557
Hey, boy, check out
my new car... huh?
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00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:28,768
(giggling)
103
00:04:30,311 --> 00:04:31,896
Cut it out!
104
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:33,147
Want to take a ride
with your old man?
105
00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:34,857
-No.
-Come on!
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00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,234
Come on!
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Oh, come on!
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Oh, fine.
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(groans)
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00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,035
What’s the matter, son?
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00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,328
There’s this new kid
at school
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who everyone thinks
is cooler than me.
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00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:50,540
Aw, don’t give up, boy!
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I believe in you, and not
just because I have to.
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-Really, Dad?
-Son, I know when
we first met,
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we didn’t really
hit it off,
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but since then I’ve really
come to respect you.
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And unlike love,
respect can’t be bought.
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You’re right.
I’m gonna go to school tomorrow
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and show everyone
I’m awesome.
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That’s my boy.
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Now let’s watch the air
conditioner fight the heater.
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(both laughing)
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Whoa!
Yeah!
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-Yeah!
-(laughs)
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00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,651
Now let’s add
the rear window defogger.
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-Whoo!
-(laughs)
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00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:20,945
BOTH: Whoa!
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Twister!
Get down!
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(both grunt)
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(both laughing)
132
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,201
-Whoa!
-Yeah!
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-Yeah!
-(laughs)
134
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"Air Skinner"
brings it up.
135
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He bounces the ball repeatedly
in a dribbling type motion.
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Foul!
137
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Great, I fouled out.
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Now can I go?
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Nope, I grant you
five more fouls.
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(Willie groans)
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♪♪
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(metal tinging)
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(cackles)
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Top this, Donny.
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(light clanking)
146
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Thank you, children.
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Welcome to the unveiling
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of our new school lunch
purchasing plan,
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known as the Flex Plan.
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Mmm!
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00:06:18,336 --> 00:06:19,587
(puzzled murmuring)
Huh?
152
00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:21,589
Students may spend
up to ten points per day
153
00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:23,341
in up to four
of seven categories.
154
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:25,968
Unused points roll over week
to week but not month to month.
155
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:28,846
Categories not included:
meat, dairy, vegetables...
156
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,014
Wha...?
157
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,391
That’s odd.
158
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:34,102
But, as a one-time occurrence,
no cause for alarm.
159
00:06:36,187 --> 00:06:38,064
(kids laughing)
160
00:06:38,147 --> 00:06:40,108
It’s not funny;
these movements are involuntary.
161
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:44,821
Whoa... aah... whaa...
162
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:47,907
This almost makes me want
to find out how magnets work.
163
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(students’ laughter continuing)
164
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Ah...
165
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,582
(kids laughing,
Skinner stammering anxiously)
166
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:06,759
(yelling)
167
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(laughs)
168
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:16,018
(kids laughing)
169
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(thud)
170
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(screams)
171
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(lift motor whirs)
172
00:07:21,732 --> 00:07:23,484
(cheering, laughing)
173
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KIDS (chanting):
Bart! Bart! Bart!
174
00:07:26,654 --> 00:07:31,576
Bart! Bart! Bart!
175
00:07:31,659 --> 00:07:32,618
(magnets clank onto floor)
176
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:34,787
Who did this?
177
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:36,664
Until I find out,
no one is leaving
178
00:07:36,747 --> 00:07:37,874
this mixed-use auditorium.
179
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:41,085
But some of us have
after-school care!
180
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:44,589
When I catch the culprit--
and I will--
181
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:47,091
I’m gonna throw this away...
182
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,969
and use this instead!
183
00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:51,637
(all gasping)
184
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:52,638
(gulps)
185
00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,056
Principal Skinner?
186
00:07:55,224 --> 00:07:57,059
I did it.
187
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,352
(all gasp)
188
00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:01,022
Young man, my office, now!
189
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:03,941
(gasps):
Huh?
190
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,985
(quietly):
Why did you take
the rap for me?
191
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:07,945
I don’t know.
I like your style.
192
00:08:08,029 --> 00:08:09,322
Well, remember this:
193
00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:12,033
Bart Simpson takes care
of his friends.
194
00:08:12,116 --> 00:08:13,576
Come see me when you get out.
195
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,916
Young man,
brace yourself...
196
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,417
for some congratulations!
197
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,628
We did it!
You’re in!
198
00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:25,880
We finally have a man
on the inside.
199
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:30,468
We’re gonna put Bart Simpson
away for a long, long time.
200
00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:33,221
By law, the most we can give
him is a ten-day suspension.
201
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:35,306
Well, that’s long
to a kid!
202
00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,312
SKINNER:
All our other attempts
to get a spy inside
203
00:08:41,395 --> 00:08:43,064
the Bart Simpson operation
have failed.
204
00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:45,316
Uter, Ralph, Doug the hip
guidance counselor--
205
00:08:45,399 --> 00:08:48,110
he was never the same after Bart
got through with him.
206
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:50,154
Your extracurriculars are
gonna need a lot of work
207
00:08:50,238 --> 00:08:52,114
if you want to get
into Vanderbilt.
208
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,824
(confused coo)
209
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:55,493
I’ll get the goods
on this Simpson kid.
210
00:08:55,576 --> 00:08:57,662
You have my word
as a snitch.
211
00:08:57,745 --> 00:08:59,080
Uh-oh. Here he comes.
212
00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:01,290
Now this won’t be easy,
but pretend I’m a jerk.
213
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:03,084
Young man,
I’m gonna be on you
214
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:04,835
like a numerator
on a denominator!
215
00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:06,254
(slams door)
216
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:07,380
Let’s take a ride.
217
00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:09,090
I got a place with a view.
218
00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:15,221
I’ve never seen
blue vines before.
219
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:16,722
They’re only sold
in Europe.
220
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:17,890
I know a guy.
221
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:24,188
Ah, yeah!
You can really taste the blue.
222
00:09:24,272 --> 00:09:25,731
Check this out... Nyaa!
223
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,108
Oh, that’s so cool!
224
00:09:27,191 --> 00:09:30,027
(both gibbering)
225
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:32,196
Here’s a little hair
of the dog for tomorrow.
226
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,906
Oh, thanks, Bart.
227
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,700
Now that we’re buddies,
I can let you in
228
00:09:35,783 --> 00:09:37,451
on some of the cool scams
we run at school.
229
00:09:37,535 --> 00:09:39,036
Oh, yeah? Like what?
230
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,622
Bathroom passes,
doctor’s notes...
231
00:09:41,706 --> 00:09:43,124
We can rig a cootie catcher
232
00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:45,209
so you can marry
anybody you want.
233
00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:48,838
Whoa! Sherri!
234
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:50,339
I’m in.
235
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:53,843
Milhouse, bust out four
of our finest juice boxes.
236
00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:54,844
Mm-hmm!
237
00:09:57,847 --> 00:10:00,808
I just wanna say...
238
00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:02,268
juice-box fight!
239
00:10:02,351 --> 00:10:06,314
(laughter)
240
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:08,065
Sounds like fun.
Can I play?
241
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:09,650
Sure.
242
00:10:09,734 --> 00:10:10,693
(boys laughing)
243
00:10:12,194 --> 00:10:13,613
How is that fun?
244
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,573
Fun’s only fun
if everyone’s having fun.
245
00:10:15,656 --> 00:10:17,116
Mom, what are you doing?
246
00:10:17,199 --> 00:10:19,869
Honey, this is how I save money
on ketchup and mustard.
247
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:21,412
Do you do it with relish?
248
00:10:21,495 --> 00:10:23,873
No, I’m kind of embarrassed
about it.
249
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:27,043
Mrs. Simpson, may I take you
for an evening drive?
250
00:10:27,126 --> 00:10:28,336
Our loaner awaits.
251
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:29,795
(car alarm chirps)
252
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:32,465
Did you just unlock
the car from here?
253
00:10:32,548 --> 00:10:33,633
(smugly):
Uh-huh.
254
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:36,469
(gasps) Oh.
255
00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:37,553
(groans pleasantly)
256
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:44,393
(rhythm and blues beat plays)
♪ Baby, let’s cruise ♪
257
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:50,191
♪ Away from here... ♪
258
00:10:50,274 --> 00:10:51,233
Ah! Ooh!
259
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:55,529
♪ Don’t be confused ♪
260
00:10:55,613 --> 00:11:00,159
-♪ The way is clear ♪
-Oh.
261
00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:08,000
-♪ And if you want it,
you got it forever ♪
-Oh.
262
00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:12,296
♪ This is not
a one-night stand, baby... ♪
263
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:15,591
(cell phone rings)
264
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,511
Hello. You’ve reached
the snug bug.
265
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:20,262
What do you mean
my car’s ready?!
266
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:22,890
Well, you can keep it, ’cause
I’m never giving up this one.
267
00:11:22,973 --> 00:11:25,101
Now why don’t you
enjoy the sounds
268
00:11:25,184 --> 00:11:28,437
of my wife and me making
sweet, sweet love.
269
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:32,483
(sharp metallic grinding
over phone)
270
00:11:32,566 --> 00:11:34,443
HOMER: That wasn’t us;
that was the transmission.
271
00:11:37,988 --> 00:11:40,991
(suspenseful music plays)
272
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:52,795
(both yelling, grunting)
273
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,213
KID:
Box fight!
274
00:11:54,296 --> 00:11:55,423
-Box fight!
-(whistle trills)
275
00:11:55,506 --> 00:11:56,424
SKINNER:
One whistle!
276
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:57,425
(whistle trills)
277
00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:58,676
Two whistles!
278
00:11:58,759 --> 00:12:02,304
I’m one whistle away
from three whistles, people!
279
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:12,314
All right, here’s the plan:
we go in there,
280
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:13,607
fill the coffee pot
with crickets from this bag--
281
00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:15,901
labeled crickets--
and leave.
282
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,405
-(gasps)
-(gasps)
283
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,410
(Skinner laughs)
284
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,497
♪ I’m shipping up to Boston ♪
285
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,791
♪ Whoa-oh-oh ♪
286
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:32,501
♪ I’m shipping up to Boston ♪
287
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:33,627
♪ Whoa-oh-oh ♪
288
00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,379
♪ Shipping up to Boston ♪
289
00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:37,673
♪ Whoa-oh-oh ♪
290
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,675
♪ I’m shipping off ♪
291
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,011
♪ To find my wooden leg ♪
292
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,722
♪♪
293
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:53,022
♪ I’m a sailor peg,
and I lost my leg ♪
294
00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:57,193
♪ Climbing up the topsails,
I lost my leg... ♪
295
00:12:57,276 --> 00:12:59,487
♪♪
296
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:09,747
(laughing)
297
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:12,291
(groans)
298
00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:14,502
Skinner’s five steps
ahead of me.
299
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:17,588
I put a tack in his chair,
he’s corked his pants!
300
00:13:17,671 --> 00:13:18,839
I throw a tomato,
he’s making salad!
301
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,424
(clears throat)
302
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:24,136
I have some information
ye might be interested in.
303
00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,138
But it won’t be easy
to hear.
304
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:27,181
Because
of your stupid accent?
305
00:13:27,264 --> 00:13:28,682
Nach-nae!
306
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:31,644
Because
of its upsetting nature!
307
00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:34,313
Skinner’s gotten to someone
close to ye.
308
00:13:34,396 --> 00:13:35,314
A rat.
309
00:13:35,397 --> 00:13:37,274
-Who is it?
-I dunno.
310
00:13:37,358 --> 00:13:40,444
But Skinner’s goin’ to
meet the rat right now.
311
00:13:44,406 --> 00:13:45,533
Thanks, Willie.
312
00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:47,868
A child thanked me!
313
00:13:47,952 --> 00:13:50,788
I gotta write this
in my journal.
314
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:53,749
-(electrical buzzing)
-Dear... diary,
315
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:54,917
Today I’ve...
316
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:58,379
("I’m Shipping Up To Boston"
by The Dropkick Murphys playing)
317
00:13:58,462 --> 00:14:00,506
(no audio)
318
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,138
♪♪
319
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:09,682
(school bell rings)
320
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:18,274
Got him.
321
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:21,318
♪♪
322
00:14:40,921 --> 00:14:43,340
Where am I?
323
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:44,633
You’re in line
for a measle shot.
324
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,218
Ow!
325
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:49,305
Okay, now we’ve made
a guide hole
for the real needle.
326
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:50,222
(Bart gulps)
327
00:14:51,765 --> 00:14:53,809
Uh, Bart,
where are we going?
328
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:58,355
Gentlemen,
329
00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:01,734
someone I thought
I could trust is a rat.
330
00:15:03,193 --> 00:15:04,278
Now, let’s see.
331
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:06,030
Is it my best friend,
332
00:15:06,113 --> 00:15:09,033
my other best friend,
or a kid I just met?
333
00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:10,326
(gulps)
334
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:11,577
Donny...
335
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:12,703
grab Milhouse’s legs.
336
00:15:12,786 --> 00:15:13,704
He’s the rat.
337
00:15:16,040 --> 00:15:17,917
You grew tired
of always being in my shadow.
338
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,501
No, I like your shadow.
339
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:20,794
It’s nice and cool.
340
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,423
Quit it! No!
341
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:29,470
Don’t worry,
we’ll get him out
in a couple hours.
342
00:15:35,434 --> 00:15:37,770
(humming happily)
343
00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:39,063
Oh, my gosh.
344
00:15:39,146 --> 00:15:42,107
It’s an outhouse
sent from the future.
345
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,068
MILHOUSE:
Hey, I’m in here.
346
00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:46,528
CLETUS:
Be quiet, Robo-potty.
347
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:47,905
(sadly): Okay.
348
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:53,035
BART:
Now that we’ve taken care
of our rat problem,
349
00:15:53,118 --> 00:15:55,037
Skinner can’t stop us,
350
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,206
and I’ve got a prank
I’ve been planning for months.
351
00:15:57,289 --> 00:15:58,958
We’re going to egg
Skinner’s house.
352
00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,043
We’ve already egged
his car, his office,
353
00:16:01,126 --> 00:16:02,586
and his father’s grave.
354
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:03,879
How’s this going
to be different?
355
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,799
Gentlemen,
this is an ostrich egg.
356
00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:08,342
BOTH: Whoa...
357
00:16:08,425 --> 00:16:09,843
Normally,
you can’t even buy these.
358
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:11,720
You have to buy the ostrich
and wait.
359
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:12,888
How much of this is gunk?
360
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:16,183
The whole insides.
361
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:19,144
Whoa, to think this came
out of some animal’s butt.
362
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,688
Beautiful, in its way.
363
00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,565
This car is amazing.
364
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:27,194
The radio lets me contribute
directly to NPR.
365
00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:31,824
(on radio):
This is Terry Gross from NPR,
saying "Thank you."
366
00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:33,784
Now, let’s get back
to our 1987 interview
367
00:16:33,867 --> 00:16:35,911
with Senator Alan Cranston.
368
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,163
I never dreamed an American
car designed in Germany,
369
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:40,332
assembled in Mexico
from parts made in Canada,
370
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,501
could be so amazing.
371
00:16:42,584 --> 00:16:43,752
(chuckles)
372
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,587
Yeah, I can’t believe
all those years
373
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,589
I used to drive
that old piece of...
374
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,259
(gasping):
What the...?
375
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,553
-(tires screeching)
-My old car.
376
00:16:52,636 --> 00:16:54,847
So you’re sure this
baby’ll make it
out to the desert?
377
00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:56,223
(gasps)
378
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:58,183
Sure. Why, what’d
you have in mind?
379
00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,477
Well, we gonna start
by shooting her full of holes,
380
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:02,104
and, uh, then me and the boys
381
00:17:02,187 --> 00:17:03,647
are gonna have
a little fun with her.
382
00:17:03,731 --> 00:17:05,816
(goofy yet creepy
guffawing)
383
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:09,820
I’ll have you know I love this
car as if it were my own child.
384
00:17:11,905 --> 00:17:13,532
Dad?
385
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:14,658
(tires screech,
Homer laughs)
386
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:15,951
Sorry, Maggie.
387
00:17:20,247 --> 00:17:21,582
Say, Simpson,
388
00:17:21,665 --> 00:17:24,084
would you mind holding
one end of this banner
389
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:25,169
while I put it up?
390
00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:27,629
My pleasure, sir.
391
00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:32,092
(cocky laughter)
392
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:33,719
We’ll see who’s laughing
393
00:17:33,802 --> 00:17:36,972
when your house is smeared
with ostrich albumen.
394
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:45,939
(gasps)
395
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,400
Donny’s the rat.
396
00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:49,610
Where do you think
you’re going?
397
00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:51,779
Ah, get back
to your knitting, Seymour.
398
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:55,449
I will,
but it’s because I want to.
399
00:17:55,532 --> 00:17:57,993
(humming)
400
00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:01,246
So, guys, before
we hit Skinner’s,
401
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,373
I want to make
a quick stop.
402
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:04,708
(gulps)
403
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:13,133
DONNY:
Hey, Bart,
404
00:18:13,217 --> 00:18:15,594
uh, what are we doing here?
405
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,054
There’s been
a change of plans.
406
00:18:17,137 --> 00:18:18,055
I was going to tell you,
407
00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:19,890
but then I remembered...
408
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,308
you’re the rat!
409
00:18:21,391 --> 00:18:23,143
No, no, no, you
got it all wrong.
410
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:25,437
Skinner’s
tongue was blue.
411
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,148
Blue from the vines
you gave him.
412
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,983
Why’d you do it, man?
413
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:31,985
Look, you don’t start out
wanting to be a rat.
414
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,696
Sometimes
it’s your only option.
415
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,032
Skinner and Chalmers wanted
to get someone
416
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:40,077
inside your organization--
someone with no history.
417
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:41,745
Too cute, too tall,
418
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,288
too Siamese, too Siamese.
419
00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,749
How much for that one?
420
00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:48,627
I’m sorry, Bart.
421
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,129
You were like
a brother to me.
422
00:18:50,212 --> 00:18:51,296
We were going to take
wood shop together
423
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,173
and make nunchucks.
424
00:18:53,257 --> 00:18:54,883
And then take people
to our lockers
425
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:56,468
and show them
our nunchucks.
426
00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:58,053
I know.
427
00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,139
That would have been cool.
428
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:02,015
Are we going
to fizz this guy or what?
429
00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:02,850
Fizz me?
430
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:06,895
A funny thing happens
when you mix Mentos
with Diet Coke.
431
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:13,277
Now imagine
that times a million.
432
00:19:19,283 --> 00:19:21,952
And it’s all going to go down
in Skinner’s office.
433
00:19:22,035 --> 00:19:24,079
CHALMERS: That’s all
we needed to hear.
434
00:19:25,205 --> 00:19:28,083
Running away rules!
435
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:31,962
Sorry to plop, plop
on your fizz, fizz.
436
00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:33,088
What are you doing here?
437
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,381
(chuckles)
438
00:19:34,464 --> 00:19:36,675
I knew egging my house
was just a ploy.
439
00:19:36,758 --> 00:19:39,219
You see, the rat
who told you about my rat
440
00:19:39,303 --> 00:19:41,221
was also a rat.
441
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:45,517
It was rats within rats... which
was also me dinner last night.
442
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:47,978
Willie?!
You’re on Skinner’s side?!
443
00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:50,522
He gave me
something you never could--
444
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:54,026
an elementary school diploma.
445
00:19:54,109 --> 00:19:55,569
(chuckles smugly)
446
00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,029
Bart, we’re going
to send you
447
00:19:57,112 --> 00:20:00,449
to the toughest juvenile
detention center there is.
448
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:02,242
And it’s all thanks
to Donny here,
449
00:20:02,326 --> 00:20:04,077
who can happily live
the rest of his life
450
00:20:04,161 --> 00:20:05,829
knowing he betrayed
the one boy
451
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:07,456
who actually
cared about him.
452
00:20:19,259 --> 00:20:20,469
(all scream)
453
00:20:23,931 --> 00:20:25,682
(coughing and groaning)
454
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:31,104
CHALMERS:
Skinner!
455
00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:32,147
Skinner?
456
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:33,440
SKINNER:
I’m all right, sir.
457
00:20:33,523 --> 00:20:35,651
Don’t ever scare
me like that again.
458
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:38,487
Well, I guess we’re even.
459
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,030
What are you going
to do now?
460
00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:42,866
What I always do-- survive.
461
00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:45,244
Hey, we should get
together sometime.
462
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,621
You know,
to make nunchucks.
463
00:20:47,704 --> 00:20:49,248
Sweet.
464
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:51,667
("I’m Shipping Up To Boston"
by The Dropkick Murphys playing)
465
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:54,711
The rat symbolizes
obviousness.
466
00:20:59,091 --> 00:21:01,760
{\an8}Captioned by VISUAL DATA
467
00:21:52,102 --> 00:21:54,021
Shh!
468
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,942
{\an8}Enhanced by Fotokem