1 00:00:03,211 --> 00:00:06,256 CHOIR: ♪ The Simpsons ♪ 2 00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:08,341 (tires screeching) 3 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:10,719 D’oh! 4 00:00:10,802 --> 00:00:11,720 (screams) 5 00:00:11,803 --> 00:00:14,222 (tires screeching) 6 00:00:14,305 --> 00:00:15,306 There you are. 7 00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:20,020 Wait a minute. 8 00:00:20,103 --> 00:00:21,771 -(grunts) -Hmm. 9 00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:36,661 {\an8}Come and get me, you syrupy stack of man-cakes. 10 00:00:36,745 --> 00:00:37,620 {\an8}(sexy growl) 11 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:40,248 {\an8}(groaning) 12 00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:43,501 {\an8}(groans) 13 00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:45,420 {\an8}It’s too much work. 14 00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,172 {\an8}Why don’t you come and get me? 15 00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,590 {\an8}Oh! 16 00:00:48,673 --> 00:00:51,593 {\an8}(kissing sounds) 17 00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:52,886 {\an8}(sighs) 18 00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:54,554 {\an8}(breathing loudly) 19 00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:57,098 {\an8}Jeez Louise, are you okay? 20 00:00:57,182 --> 00:00:58,808 {\an8}Just give me a minute. 21 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,311 {\an8}Uh, but feel free to go nuts on me. 22 00:01:01,394 --> 00:01:02,645 {\an8}(laughs) 23 00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,022 {\an8}(mutters) 24 00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,565 {\an8}Hmm. 25 00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:09,277 {\an8}Oh, boy, dinner time! 26 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,655 {\an8}The perfect break between work and drunk. 27 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,115 {\an8}(sniffing) 28 00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:16,242 {\an8}Wait. What’s that smell? 29 00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:20,747 {\an8}It’s like a stalk of broccoli fell in a pot of boiling water. 30 00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:21,998 (steam hissing) 31 00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,459 It’s your new diet! 32 00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:27,378 But I have all those old diets I still haven’t finished. 33 00:01:27,712 --> 00:01:30,715 {\an8}Your lack of bedroom pizzazz last night started me worrying, 34 00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:33,510 {\an8}so I hired this nutritionist, Betsy Bidwell. 35 00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:36,888 {\an8}Homer, did you know I used to weigh 400 pounds? 36 00:01:36,971 --> 00:01:39,390 {\an8}I’ll bet no man would touch you. 37 00:01:39,474 --> 00:01:41,643 {\an8}Well, I went from fat to "all that" 38 00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:43,645 {\an8}using my simple, foolproof diet. 39 00:01:43,728 --> 00:01:46,106 {\an8}It’s all about little substitutions. 40 00:01:46,189 --> 00:01:47,690 {\an8}Instead of French toast for breakfast, 41 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:49,150 {\an8}why not eat a bell pepper? 42 00:01:49,234 --> 00:01:50,485 {\an8}When you crave something sugary, 43 00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:51,986 {\an8}eat a bell pepper. 44 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:53,738 {\an8}Want a beer? Bell pepper! 45 00:01:54,823 --> 00:01:56,574 {\an8}Mmm! 46 00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:59,744 {\an8}It’s tangy like a pepper, but crunchy like a bell! 47 00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:00,954 {\an8}Bell pepper! 48 00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:02,413 {\an8}MAN: Hot dogs! 49 00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:03,706 {\an8}Get your hot dogs. 50 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:06,084 {\an8}One, please. 51 00:02:06,167 --> 00:02:10,046 {\an8}Bell peppers-- piping cold, crunchy and bland. 52 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,297 {\an8}Three, please. 53 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:13,091 {\an8}(blows falling, Homer grunting) 54 00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:15,301 {\an8}(machine whirring) 55 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:18,638 {\an8}♪♪ 56 00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:24,352 {\an8}(whirring) 57 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,700 Not quite. 58 00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:40,952 Yeah. Get out. 59 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:44,164 (whirring) 60 00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,710 You’ve gained seven pounds! 61 00:02:48,793 --> 00:02:51,129 Well, they say muscle weighs more than fat. 62 00:02:51,212 --> 00:02:53,423 Homer, your body is all fat. 63 00:02:53,506 --> 00:02:56,134 Homie, have you been cheating on your diet?! 64 00:02:56,217 --> 00:02:57,719 What?! 65 00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:00,722 I’m not even gonna dignify that with eye contact. 66 00:03:00,805 --> 00:03:01,973 (squeaking) 67 00:03:02,056 --> 00:03:03,516 HOMER: Hmm. 68 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,435 (squeaking continues) 69 00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:06,978 Hmm. 70 00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:08,396 (muttering) 71 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:09,731 Oh! Aah! 72 00:03:09,814 --> 00:03:11,399 (muttering) 73 00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:13,568 What you doin’, Mom, goin’ crazy? 74 00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:15,195 Searching for evidence. 75 00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:17,322 I know your father’s cheating on his diet. 76 00:03:17,405 --> 00:03:19,240 Hey, Marge, looking for something? 77 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,159 I’m looking for something, too-- 78 00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:22,785 a bell pepper I don’t like. 79 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,787 Maybe it’ll be this one. 80 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:29,459 Wrong again. 81 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,544 (laughs) 82 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:32,754 (groans) 83 00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:34,589 See that fat lady with the moustache? 84 00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:35,882 That’s you. 85 00:03:35,965 --> 00:03:37,425 See that hippo rolling in dung? 86 00:03:37,508 --> 00:03:38,718 You’re the dung. 87 00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:41,095 Now, that’s enough. You each got one in. 88 00:03:41,179 --> 00:03:43,514 Oh, but hers was better! 89 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:44,807 (instrumental music plays on TV, camera shutter clicking) 90 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:46,309 MALE ANNOUNCER: Meet Jennifer. 91 00:03:46,392 --> 00:03:48,228 She’s worried her acupuncturist boyfriend 92 00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,480 is sticking it to someone else. 93 00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:52,815 He used to be so loving. 94 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,026 Now he says he’s always working late, 95 00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:58,029 but when he comes home, his needles aren’t even bloody! 96 00:03:58,112 --> 00:04:01,366 I’ve tried everything except talking to him. 97 00:04:01,449 --> 00:04:03,326 Help me, TV show! 98 00:04:03,409 --> 00:04:05,370 ANNOUNCER: We’ll find out if Jennifer’s boyfriend 99 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,372 has been fooling around 100 00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:08,748 on Sneakers. 101 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,125 If you suspect a loved one of cheating on you, 102 00:04:11,209 --> 00:04:12,710 call the Sneakers hotline. 103 00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:13,920 Also call if you don’t suspect. 104 00:04:14,003 --> 00:04:14,879 Most cheating happens 105 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:16,673 when you think everything is just great. 106 00:04:17,090 --> 00:04:21,094 Hmm. Could this show help me with eating cheating? 107 00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:22,053 Out of the house, kids! 108 00:04:22,136 --> 00:04:23,930 I have to make an adult phone call. 109 00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:25,139 Oh, man, not again... 110 00:04:25,223 --> 00:04:26,557 How would you...? Come on. 111 00:04:26,641 --> 00:04:27,850 Go, go, go, go, go! 112 00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:34,232 Hey, I didn’t know this park was here. 113 00:04:34,315 --> 00:04:36,484 You wrote a report on it last week. 114 00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:37,652 The Internet wrote it. 115 00:04:37,735 --> 00:04:40,738 I just handed it in. 116 00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:42,657 -Whoa, check that out! -(squawking) 117 00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,993 Cool! The strong kicking the weak’s butt. 118 00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:47,620 It’s disgusting! 119 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:49,163 (squeaking and squawking) 120 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:50,748 (screeches) Now you two play nice! 121 00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:58,881 This is my husband. 122 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,258 I think he’s been 123 00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,968 Sneakering on his diet. 124 00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:04,304 I didn’t used to mind it 125 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:07,015 when he’d lock the bathroom door and snack off, 126 00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,017 but when he’s getting it regular, 127 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,768 night after night after night... 128 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,270 (crying) 129 00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:13,771 There, there. 130 00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:16,149 I’m sorry I’m so emotional. 131 00:05:16,232 --> 00:05:18,651 No, I mean, cry to the camera over there. 132 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:19,861 There. 133 00:05:19,944 --> 00:05:21,237 (crying) 134 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,780 Yeah! 135 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,076 Hey, Martin, what are you doing? 136 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:29,537 Excavating for arrowheads! 137 00:05:29,620 --> 00:05:31,539 Dude, it’s Saturday. What kind of a freak wastes his...? 138 00:05:31,622 --> 00:05:32,999 May I join you? 139 00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:34,792 Care to make it a trio, Bart? 140 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,461 You can brush, and I can blow! 141 00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:38,504 Well, I agree you blow. 142 00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:39,922 Then it’s a plan. 143 00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:42,800 A lot of people blow, but no one blows like you. 144 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,510 High praise indeed! 145 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:45,511 When you look up blow in the dictionary... 146 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:48,139 -Bart, he’s not gonna get it! -Fine. 147 00:05:51,642 --> 00:05:53,603 (snoring, whistling sounding) 148 00:05:55,938 --> 00:05:57,231 (snoring, whistle sounding) 149 00:05:57,315 --> 00:05:58,608 (snoring) 150 00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:00,401 The bone’s the very thing, methinks, 151 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,695 to prank my sister and the dink. 152 00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,322 (birds singing) 153 00:06:04,405 --> 00:06:07,116 (whistle sounding) 154 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,285 Martin, I’ve made a major discovery! 155 00:06:12,622 --> 00:06:14,665 A bone?! 156 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:17,043 (gasps) It could be one of the major homos! 157 00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:18,419 You’re one of the major... 158 00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,004 Forget it. 159 00:06:26,761 --> 00:06:28,596 (chuckles) 160 00:06:28,679 --> 00:06:30,390 (screams) 161 00:06:30,473 --> 00:06:32,433 (grunts) 162 00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:33,768 -Martin! -Oh, my God! 163 00:06:33,851 --> 00:06:35,728 (groaning) 164 00:06:35,812 --> 00:06:37,522 Grab onto this! 165 00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,067 Come on, wake up! 166 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,321 (thudding) 167 00:06:49,700 --> 00:06:51,077 Bart! 168 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,079 You can’t just run away from this! 169 00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:54,288 (panting) 170 00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:55,540 You’re right. 171 00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,291 I can bike away much faster, 172 00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:59,460 and ring the bell to drown out bad thoughts! 173 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:00,586 (bell dinging) 174 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,630 But Bart... 175 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,138 (bell dinging) 176 00:07:10,221 --> 00:07:12,932 Bart, Martin could be seriously hurt, or worse. 177 00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:14,642 You’re right. We have to do something. 178 00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:17,687 Let’s watch TV! 179 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:21,023 ♪ Happy, happy safe at home ♪ 180 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,316 -♪ Happy, happy... ♪ -(sighs) 181 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,609 KENT BROCKMAN: We interrupt 182 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:24,944 Kaptain Kiddy’s Komfort Karnival 183 00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:26,779 to report on a grisly incident 184 00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:28,906 involving a small child, who has apparently 185 00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,784 plunged off a guardrail here at Springfield National Park. 186 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,704 According to this pocket protector, the victim’s name is 187 00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:36,247 Martin Prince. 188 00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:39,750 Sadly, his pocket was protected, but nothing else. 189 00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:42,336 And we know exactly who is to blame. 190 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:43,337 (both gasping) 191 00:07:43,421 --> 00:07:44,464 No one. 192 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,756 The boy clearly fell by accident. 193 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:46,591 BOTH: Huh? 194 00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:47,842 He crashed through 195 00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:48,968 the tree canopy there, 196 00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:51,762 and was presumably eaten by this cougar, 197 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:55,057 who is still coughing up parts of the boy’s clothes. 198 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,517 (coughing) 199 00:07:56,601 --> 00:07:58,352 Tragic, just tragic. 200 00:07:58,436 --> 00:07:59,770 You think this would fit little Ralphy? 201 00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:02,023 Chief, that’s evidence. 202 00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:04,775 I know, but after it’s evidence, it’s a shirt again, isn’t it? 203 00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:07,403 So Chief, what’s your final word on the Prince boy? 204 00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,404 Hmm? Oh, dead. 205 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,655 Definitely dead. 206 00:08:09,739 --> 00:08:11,657 Uh, Chief, aren’t we supposed to, uh, 207 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,159 notify the family first? 208 00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:15,203 What do you think I’m doing right now? 209 00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:18,706 ♪ Happy, happy, safe at home. ♪ 210 00:08:18,789 --> 00:08:19,582 Oh, my God! 211 00:08:19,665 --> 00:08:20,625 We’re murderers! 212 00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:22,460 Hey, I was trying to help him. 213 00:08:22,543 --> 00:08:24,712 At worst, I’m an accomplice. 214 00:08:24,795 --> 00:08:27,256 (gasps) I’m an accomplice! 215 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,058 Bookmobile. 216 00:08:37,141 --> 00:08:39,477 Got any Joyce Carol Oates? 217 00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:41,020 Nope. It’s all Danielle Steel. 218 00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:42,271 (screaming) 219 00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:45,733 I’ve been in trouble, but never like this. 220 00:08:45,816 --> 00:08:47,610 Guess I’ll go turn myself in. 221 00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:54,742 Uh, let’s think about this. 222 00:08:54,825 --> 00:08:57,370 Martin’s gone, but it was an accident. 223 00:08:57,453 --> 00:09:00,122 Ruining our lives won’t bring him back. 224 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,500 Lisa! You’re saying we shouldn’t tell the truth?! 225 00:09:02,583 --> 00:09:05,211 I’m saying this is worse than a million A minuses! 226 00:09:05,294 --> 00:09:06,963 So, how was your outside time? 227 00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,215 We were never outside. We were here all day. 228 00:09:09,298 --> 00:09:11,592 That quick talking is never a good sign. 229 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:13,803 That’s usually true, but in this case, it’s not. 230 00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:17,306 MARGE: Hmm. The kids are acting awfully strange. 231 00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,892 Maybe I should sit down with them and... 232 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,352 Homer, where are you going?! 233 00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:22,687 Work. 234 00:09:22,770 --> 00:09:25,189 It’s 4:00 o’clock on a Saturday. 235 00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:27,692 I, uh, have to count the atoms 236 00:09:27,775 --> 00:09:28,985 at the nuclear plant. 237 00:09:29,068 --> 00:09:30,403 Conservation of mass. 238 00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:31,612 It’s the law. 239 00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,114 (door closes) 240 00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:35,825 (touch tones sounding) 241 00:09:35,908 --> 00:09:38,869 The load is on the road. 242 00:09:40,871 --> 00:09:42,790 (tires squealing) 243 00:09:42,873 --> 00:09:44,417 This episode’s gonna be great. 244 00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:47,211 It’ll finally win me the respect of my father, 245 00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,297 the Reverend Billy Graham, Junior. 246 00:09:54,093 --> 00:09:57,096 (playing the theme from Rocky) 247 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,982 Martin Prince was known by many names-- 248 00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:10,860 Martin Priss, Martin Princess, Fartin’ Prince, 249 00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:12,486 Martin the Brown-Nosed Reindeer... 250 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:13,779 That was mine. 251 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:16,073 Martin was a shy, awkward child 252 00:10:16,157 --> 00:10:18,075 who will never fulfill his promise 253 00:10:18,159 --> 00:10:20,369 to become a weird, unloved adult. 254 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,830 The Audio-Visual Club has prepared a video tribute 255 00:10:22,913 --> 00:10:24,665 to their fallen associate. 256 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:27,668 (fife and drum playing) 257 00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,009 ("I Will Remember You" by Sarah McLachlan playing) 258 00:10:35,092 --> 00:10:39,722 ♪ I will remember you ♪ 259 00:10:41,932 --> 00:10:44,894 ♪ Will you remember me? ♪ 260 00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:51,067 ♪ Don’t let your life pass you by ♪ 261 00:10:51,150 --> 00:10:54,570 MRS. KRABAPPEL: Jimbo, stop that. 262 00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:57,365 Usually when I do something bad, I feel good. 263 00:10:57,448 --> 00:10:58,699 But not this time. 264 00:10:58,783 --> 00:11:01,410 Martin was like Jesus, only real. 265 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,411 (sobbing) 266 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,372 Bart, keep it together. 267 00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,082 People are looking. 268 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:07,124 I’m filled with rue. 269 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,919 You know, something bugs me. 270 00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:12,129 Martin was afraid of heights. 271 00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,589 What’s he doing on a cliff? 272 00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:14,924 It don’t add up. 273 00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,926 Hey, look who’s trying to add. 274 00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,052 You wuss. 275 00:11:18,135 --> 00:11:19,053 (all grunting) 276 00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,441 The pig is in the sty. 277 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,361 (sighing): You know, I used to make documentaries 278 00:11:35,444 --> 00:11:37,822 about coal miners, migrant workers, 279 00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:38,823 things that mattered. 280 00:11:38,906 --> 00:11:39,782 Yeah, yeah, we’re all whores. 281 00:11:39,865 --> 00:11:42,076 Just get in there. 282 00:11:43,202 --> 00:11:45,121 (humming) 283 00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:48,416 (moaning) 284 00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:50,209 Mmm... 285 00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:57,591 Into your hands, I commend this crap. 286 00:11:57,675 --> 00:11:59,343 (grunts) 287 00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:02,221 Hmm. 288 00:12:02,304 --> 00:12:05,057 (grunting) 289 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,392 (humming) 290 00:12:10,187 --> 00:12:12,690 Well, enough burning ants. 291 00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:14,150 Time to investigate. 292 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,905 Hmm. 293 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:25,119 (humming) 294 00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:33,961 I now declare you chips and salsa. 295 00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:35,421 (moaning): Oh! 296 00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:36,422 Mmm! 297 00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:37,673 Uh... 298 00:12:38,799 --> 00:12:41,135 Oh, hey, kids. 299 00:12:41,218 --> 00:12:42,887 (gulping): Um... what’s up? 300 00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:43,888 What do you mean "what’s up"? 301 00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:45,306 Why would something be up? 302 00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:46,390 Yeah, nothing’s up, nothing’s down, 303 00:12:46,474 --> 00:12:47,933 except for Martin, who died. 304 00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,435 -Idiot! -D’oh! 305 00:12:49,518 --> 00:12:52,354 (giggles nervously) 306 00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:55,566 Well, I certainly wasn’t eating chips and salsa 307 00:12:55,649 --> 00:12:57,026 from this briefcase. 308 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,027 -What’s up? -Nothing. 309 00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:58,944 -Nothing. -Nothing. 310 00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:03,783 (film noir music playing) 311 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,537 (sighs) 312 00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:35,272 Mmm, lamb. 313 00:13:35,356 --> 00:13:37,858 ("Sabre Dance" playing) 314 00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:57,545 Uh, I’ve never said this before, 315 00:13:57,628 --> 00:13:59,338 but turn the camera off. 316 00:14:04,093 --> 00:14:05,344 -(grunts) -Hey, you little murderer. 317 00:14:05,427 --> 00:14:06,804 What?! 318 00:14:06,887 --> 00:14:08,681 Those shades are killing me, they’re so cute. 319 00:14:08,764 --> 00:14:10,099 (screams) 320 00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:14,687 Act like you’re shopping. 321 00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,438 We can’t be seen together. 322 00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:17,606 But we’re brother and sister. 323 00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,066 Exactly. 324 00:14:19,149 --> 00:14:20,442 Give me an Indian burn. 325 00:14:20,526 --> 00:14:21,986 -But... -Don’t make me say "Indian" again. 326 00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:24,363 (groans) Ow... 327 00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:26,198 -Afternoon. -(both yelp) 328 00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,033 Doing a little shopping, huh? 329 00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,703 Shopping at the Kwik-E-Mart. 330 00:14:30,786 --> 00:14:32,997 I like how "Kwik" is spelled with a "K." 331 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:34,957 It’s a quicker way of spelling "quick." 332 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,792 Well, you’re busy people. 333 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,586 I’ll let you get on with your day. 334 00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:41,964 Oh, there is one other thing. 335 00:14:42,047 --> 00:14:44,508 I was up in Springfield National Park. 336 00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:46,468 You know, where Martin bit the big one? 337 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:49,346 Found this bone tied to a string. 338 00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:52,975 Almost like someone was playing a prank on him. 339 00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,102 You like pranks, don’t you, dingus? 340 00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:56,770 I... like pranks. 341 00:14:56,854 --> 00:14:58,981 Everyone likes pranks, e-even Dr. Hibbert. 342 00:14:59,064 --> 00:15:00,316 I hate pranks. 343 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:01,984 Well, I’d better get going. 344 00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:04,028 The missus is cooking meatloaf tonight. 345 00:15:04,111 --> 00:15:06,280 My mom-- Mrs. Muntz. 346 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:11,952 Bart, I have a plan. 347 00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,663 We go to the morgue and come back with a hand, 348 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,041 put its fingerprints all over the railing... 349 00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:19,960 Why are you being so quiet, Bart? 350 00:15:20,044 --> 00:15:21,295 Are you judging me? 351 00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:23,088 Please don’t judge me. 352 00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,465 (gasps) 353 00:15:24,548 --> 00:15:27,009 "I can’t live with the guilt. 354 00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:28,928 I’m going to Martin’s house 355 00:15:29,011 --> 00:15:30,554 to end it all"?! 356 00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:31,972 (gasps) 357 00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:37,227 Come on, pick up, pick up, I know you’re there. 358 00:15:37,311 --> 00:15:38,437 (phone rings) 359 00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:39,897 (machine beeps) 360 00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:42,441 HOMER: Listen, baby, the other night was great, 361 00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:43,734 but it can never happen again. 362 00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:44,777 Oh, who am I kidding? 363 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:45,903 I have to see you right now. 364 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:53,786 (brakes screeching) 365 00:15:59,667 --> 00:16:01,460 Bart, no, don’t do... 366 00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:04,046 whatever the heck you’re doing. 367 00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,632 I’m tending to Martin’s butterfly enclosure. 368 00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:09,426 His butterflies are emerging from their chrysalises tonight. 369 00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:11,428 You said you wanted to end it all. 370 00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,013 By which I meant 371 00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:15,057 bring Martin’s butterfly project to completion. 372 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,266 I can’t take it anymore. 373 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:17,476 The stress is killing me. 374 00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:19,395 I’m on a freight train to Crazy Town. 375 00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:21,689 -Calm down. -You calm down! 376 00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:23,148 (crackling, Lisa gasps) 377 00:16:23,232 --> 00:16:24,316 What was that? 378 00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:31,281 BART: The butterflies are hatching. 379 00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:33,200 Aren’t they beautiful? 380 00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:35,202 MARTIN: Greetings, my friends. 381 00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:36,161 (both scream) 382 00:16:36,245 --> 00:16:38,497 This beguiling lute solo 383 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:41,125 will ease your metamorphoses. 384 00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:42,626 (lute music playing) 385 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,338 Oh, it’s a tape. 386 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:47,923 Martin must have set it to go off 387 00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,009 when the chrysalises hatched. 388 00:16:50,092 --> 00:16:52,928 Now, if I may mimic your mother’s feeding call... 389 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:56,807 Clawdy-claw, clickety-cloo, clawdy-claw... 390 00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:57,808 -(tape stops) -Thank you. 391 00:16:57,891 --> 00:17:00,227 (lute music resumes) 392 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:01,228 I thought I turned 393 00:17:01,311 --> 00:17:03,355 that tape off. 394 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:05,858 Maybe you just put it on auto-reverse. 395 00:17:05,941 --> 00:17:09,153 "Congratulations on purchasing the Sanyo DL30, 396 00:17:09,236 --> 00:17:11,196 the finest non-reversing tape player"... 397 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,282 (both gasp) 398 00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:19,413 (humming) 399 00:17:19,496 --> 00:17:21,957 Here you go, hon-- one Butterscotch Stallion. 400 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,460 -MARGE: Homer Jay Simpson! -(shrieks) 401 00:17:24,543 --> 00:17:26,420 Pudding power, activate! 402 00:17:26,503 --> 00:17:28,505 Oh, no, you don’t. 403 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,007 Let him have it, Marge. 404 00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:32,176 Sweetheart, I didn’t want to deceive you. 405 00:17:32,259 --> 00:17:34,386 I just couldn’t stand to see the disappointment 406 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,680 in your beautiful eyes. 407 00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:40,309 That’s it, Marge. 408 00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:41,310 Slap him good. 409 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:42,603 -(grunts) -Ooh. 410 00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:43,812 Zack, you’re not trying 411 00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,272 to help our marriage. 412 00:17:45,355 --> 00:17:47,232 You’re trying to split us up. 413 00:17:47,316 --> 00:17:51,111 I’d rather have a chubby hubby than a sexy exy. 414 00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:53,655 Aw, Marge, if there was a reality show 415 00:17:53,739 --> 00:17:56,658 called Fat Guys Who Really Love Their Wives, 416 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,703 not only would it be an enormous ratings success, 417 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:01,705 but I’d be the first one on it. 418 00:18:01,789 --> 00:18:03,665 Aw... 419 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,000 Marge, 420 00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,543 you’ve given me a lot to think about today. 421 00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:08,212 Now, if you’ll excuse me, 422 00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:10,506 I’m going to the editing room to make you look insane. 423 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:13,342 To the post-production trailer! 424 00:18:19,056 --> 00:18:19,973 (lute music continues) 425 00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:20,974 Ugh! 426 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,060 Where is this music coming from? 427 00:18:23,143 --> 00:18:25,437 (whimpering) 428 00:18:30,275 --> 00:18:32,361 Get off me! 429 00:18:32,444 --> 00:18:33,362 (gasping) 430 00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:38,951 His foot is caught in my button hole. 431 00:18:39,034 --> 00:18:40,452 I almost flicked 432 00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:41,870 an innocent butterfly. 433 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,706 Bart, we’re turning into monsters. 434 00:18:44,790 --> 00:18:45,707 Cool. 435 00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:47,501 No, not cool. 436 00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:50,420 We have to do the right thing and come clean. 437 00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:54,341 Listen, world, we killed Martin Prince! 438 00:18:54,424 --> 00:18:56,718 That’s all I needed to hear. 439 00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:58,011 You almost got away with it, 440 00:18:58,095 --> 00:19:00,556 but here’s where you got sloppy: 441 00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:02,474 shouting out that you did it. 442 00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:05,102 Oh, man, I’m too pretty to go to jail. 443 00:19:05,185 --> 00:19:06,520 You don’t know how lucky you are. 444 00:19:06,603 --> 00:19:09,481 (annoyed grunt) 445 00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:12,568 I’m just glad it was you who brought us in, Nelson. 446 00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:14,361 Remember when we used to date? 447 00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:16,989 If you let me go, we can get back together. 448 00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:19,408 I never let you cherry- bomb my Malibu Stacy. 449 00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:20,659 I’ll let you do it now. 450 00:19:20,742 --> 00:19:21,910 Save it for the warden. 451 00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:23,203 Please, 452 00:19:23,287 --> 00:19:25,372 keep it down around the newborns. 453 00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:27,332 -(all scream) -To quote Mark Twain, 454 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:31,128 "rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated." 455 00:19:31,211 --> 00:19:33,338 Yeah, and rumors of your wussiness 456 00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:34,840 are a hundred percent true. 457 00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:36,717 Now tell us how you survived the fall. 458 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,010 For years I’ve worn underwear 459 00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:40,512 with a wedgie-accommodating waistband. 460 00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:42,181 On that fateful day, 461 00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:45,726 these mighty whiteys saved my life. 462 00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:49,146 (grunting) 463 00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:51,815 Malheureusement, I landed 464 00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:54,484 right next to a cougar’s lair. 465 00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:56,236 He saw me as easy prey. 466 00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,696 (roars) 467 00:19:57,779 --> 00:19:59,531 I feared death was a certainty 468 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:02,201 until I was saved by simple physics. 469 00:20:02,284 --> 00:20:04,703 (screaming) 470 00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:06,496 Huh? 471 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:09,541 I landed on a small isle in the middle of a murky lake. 472 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:12,336 I spent an hour fashioning an escape raft 473 00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:15,589 and three days crafting this modesty skirt. 474 00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:16,506 (giggling happily) 475 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:19,509 -(grunts) -Ow. 476 00:20:19,593 --> 00:20:21,929 Well, it’s good to have you alive, Dorkburger, 477 00:20:22,012 --> 00:20:24,598 and as for you two, I hope you learned your lesson. 478 00:20:24,681 --> 00:20:26,975 I learned that beneath my goody two-shoes 479 00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,561 lie some very dark socks. 480 00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,480 And I learned that killing a nerd 481 00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:32,981 is not as fun as it sounds. 482 00:20:35,234 --> 00:20:38,487 There is just one more thing. 483 00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:40,239 You folks have a good night now. 484 00:20:40,322 --> 00:20:42,991 (Sunday Mystery Movie theme music playing) 485 00:21:05,639 --> 00:21:08,392 {\an8}Captioned by VISUAL DATA 486 00:21:52,352 --> 00:21:53,395 Shh! 487 00:21:56,523 --> 00:21:58,483 {\an8}Enhanced by Fotokem