﻿1
00:00:15,348 --> 00:00:17,184
(HUMMING)

2
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,354
Hello. I'd like to vote
for president, governor,

3
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:24,608
and anything that will take money
away from our parks and libraries.

4
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:26,818
Use machine number three.

5
00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:28,111
(HUMS)

6
00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:30,155
(GROANING)

7
00:00:31,114 --> 00:00:33,283
I can't fit
in the booth.

8
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:34,784
Use the double-wide.

9
00:00:39,247 --> 00:00:40,248
Ooh!

10
00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:42,876
One of those
electronic voting dealies!

11
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:45,503
<i>ELECTRONIC VOICE: One vote for McCain.
Thank you.</i>

12
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:46,588
(LAUGHING)

13
00:00:46,671 --> 00:00:48,882
No. I want to
vote for Obama.

14
00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,717
<i>Two votes for McCain.</i>

15
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,428
(EXCLAIMING) Come on,
it's time for a change!

16
00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:55,263
<i>Three votes for McCain.</i>

17
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:56,431
No,no,no!

18
00:00:56,514 --> 00:00:58,892
<i>Six votes for
President McCain.</i>

19
00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:01,478
Hey, I only meant one of
those votes for McCain!

20
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:04,064
(GASPS)
This machine is rigged!

21
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,024
(GRUNTS)

22
00:01:06,316 --> 00:01:08,985
Must tell President McCain.

23
00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,238
This doesn't happen
in America.

24
00:01:11,321 --> 00:01:13,406
Maybe Ohio,
but not in America!

25
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:14,950
(HOMER SCREAMING)

26
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:51,278
Okay. All I need is
a Christmas gift for Lisa.

27
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,823
I don't have time
to read all that.

28
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:56,866
(HUMMING)

29
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:57,951
Hmm.

30
00:01:58,034 --> 00:02:01,871
Montreal Expos jersey,
Somber String,

31
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:05,917
jacks, no ball,
and a Slunky.

32
00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:08,253
Oh, I wouldn't give these
to my worst enemy,

33
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,380
which happens to be Lisa.

34
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:15,093
Girls don't like trucks. Come
back when you're something else.

35
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:18,221
(HONKING)

36
00:02:18,305 --> 00:02:19,306
(GASPS)

37
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:20,515
Perfect!

38
00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:23,810
Merry Christmas, Dad.

39
00:02:23,893 --> 00:02:26,896
We bought you three
more minutes of oxygen.

40
00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,899
Thank you, son.
Can I play with it outside?

41
00:02:29,983 --> 00:02:31,234
Can I? Can I?

42
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,153
(CHUCKLING) Sure.

43
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:34,237
(LAUGHING)

44
00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,407
(LAUGHING LOUDLY)

45
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:43,079
Hmm.

46
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:46,333
Hey, Lise, I think I see
one with your name on it.

47
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,793
I don't know how you could
top last year's gift.

48
00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:50,628
A box of your burps.

49
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:52,797
Yeah. Here's your
stocking stuffer.

50
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:53,923
(BURPS)

51
00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:03,099
Wow! A Malibu Stacy Convertible!
Oh, Bart! An actual present.

52
00:03:13,151 --> 00:03:16,112
That's right, Maggie.
It's a car.

53
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:29,584
<i>MALIBU STACY:
Let's go to the...</i>

54
00:03:29,667 --> 00:03:30,877
<i>(CHOKING)</i>

55
00:03:35,131 --> 00:03:37,509
<i>Posibots, transform!</i>

56
00:03:39,928 --> 00:03:41,554
<i>ALARM CLOCK: Snooze!</i>

57
00:03:43,139 --> 00:03:44,224
<i>LAMP: Three-way!</i>

58
00:03:48,144 --> 00:03:49,646
<i>BOOM BOX: Melody!</i>

59
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:50,980
(GRUNTING)

60
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:53,650
What?

61
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,197
<i>Wait a minute.
We're missing Sex Toy.</i>

62
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,533
(SUGGESTIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

63
00:04:02,158 --> 00:04:03,660
<i>Where have you been?</i>

64
00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:04,828
<i>Where haven't I been?</i>

65
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:05,912
<i>(CHUCKLING)</i>

66
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,253
Hmm. ls there something
different about the kitchen?

67
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,088
<i>No.
No. No.</i>

68
00:04:17,966 --> 00:04:21,094
Well, the toaster's
never lied to me before.

69
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,222
<i>PINK ROBOT: Hup, two...</i>

70
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:25,348
<i>SEX TOY: Nice planet.</i>

71
00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:27,934
(HUMMING)

72
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,021
(HOMER SCREAMING)

73
00:04:37,902 --> 00:04:39,279
<i>Posibot engaged.</i>

74
00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,157
<i>Battle commencing in ten,
nine, eight...</i>

75
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:43,241
<i>Hey!</i>

76
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:46,995
Hey, Homer.
How was your Christmas?

77
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:49,706
It was okay. I got
Seinfeld, Season Seven.

78
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,627
Finally, a Boxing Day
that lives up to its name!

79
00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,880
Lisa, what's happening?

80
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,465
Well, if I
had to guess,

81
00:04:58,548 --> 00:05:01,968
I'd say that two alien robot races
who've been battling for centuries

82
00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:05,221
have chosen our planet as the site
for their ultimate confrontation.

83
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,223
It is a good planet
to settle things on.

84
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,235
Oh!Ah!

85
00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:23,406
Stop it! Stop it! Look! You
have made the nacho machine cry.

86
00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:29,913
Cool!

87
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:36,252
<i>Carnage Destructicus, the moment
has arrived, our final battle!</i>

88
00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:41,466
<i>Your final battle,
Bestimus Mucho!</i>

89
00:05:43,551 --> 00:05:46,095
Stop it! Just because
you're mad at each other

90
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,431
doesn't mean you have to
destroy our town.

91
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,724
<i>That does not compute.</i>

92
00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:50,850
Really?

93
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:52,519
<i>It computes a little.</i>

94
00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:55,563
What's this whole intergalactic
tiff about, anyway?

95
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:58,775
<i>You know,
I don't remember.</i>

96
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:00,360
<i>Neither do I.</i>

97
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:03,446
<i>Maybe the non-transformer
thing is right.</i>

98
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:07,325
<i>Thank you, human grandmother, for
pointing out that it is futile to fight</i>

99
00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:08,701
<i>if we do not know why.</i>

100
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:11,079
<i>And now that we are not
fighting each other,</i>

101
00:06:11,162 --> 00:06:15,041
<i>we can team up
to enslave your planet.</i>

102
00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:18,211
That's great, because
working together, you can...

103
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:19,546
Oh!

104
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:21,798
(ALL SCREAMING)

105
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:25,969
Okay, who's the idiot who
taught them what foosball was?

106
00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:27,679
I thought they
might enjoy it.

107
00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:19,397
Okay, Maggie. We'll be
back in three hours.

108
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,233
Or longer, if something
happens to us.

109
00:07:26,070 --> 00:07:29,657
Maybe we shouldn't do this.
She doesn't know anyone here.

110
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:34,120
Look, sweetie. There's
a familiar face. Krusty!

111
00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:35,413
(GIGGLING)

112
00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:48,468
Hey, hey, kids!

113
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:51,346
Your old pal Krusty's gonna
teach you five new words:

114
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,890
unlicensed use
of my image.

115
00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:01,064
All right, boys. See those
Krustys nobody paid me for?

116
00:08:01,898 --> 00:08:03,816
Sandblast them!

117
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:13,409
Entertain the troops? No way!
What have they ever done for me?

118
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,995
Krusty, you made
my daughter cry.

119
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:19,248
Hey, my intellectual property
rights were being infringed.

120
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,708
Do you know
how that feels?

121
00:08:20,792 --> 00:08:22,627
Do you? Huh? Do you?

122
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,885
(SCREAMING)

123
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:44,607
One, two, three. One, two, three.
It's no use.

124
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:50,113
(DOORBELL RINGS)

125
00:08:51,656 --> 00:08:55,034
Mr. Simpson, you have quite a
talent for killing celebrities.

126
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:56,119
(LAUGHING)

127
00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:58,329
Well, I'm no drunk driving.

128
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:01,874
I'd like to introduce you to
some stereotypical ad men.

129
00:09:01,999 --> 00:09:03,835
Simpson, we got a swell
little notion for you.

130
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:06,462
Did you know you can put a
dead celebrity in a commercial

131
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,464
and you don't have to
pay them a thing?

132
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:22,895
<i>Oh, my God!
You finally did it!</i>

133
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:28,234
<i>You mixed Buzz Cola with the
smooth, rich taste of lemon!</i>

134
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:31,404
Unfortunately, there are certain
stars who won't do what we want.

135
00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,448
What's their problem?

136
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,032
They're still alive.

137
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,827
And then we thought, "Who's
good at killing celebrities?"

138
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:40,413
Me!

139
00:09:40,496 --> 00:09:43,166
That's right! Homer, would
you be willing to acquire

140
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,418
some more
accounts for us?

141
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:50,757
Well, you know,
it is awfully hot today.

142
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,008
(CHUCKUNG)

143
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,472
Now I'm too cold.

144
00:09:58,681 --> 00:09:59,682
Mmm.

145
00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:00,933
<i>(PSYCHO KILLER PLAYING)</i>

146
00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:03,936
<i>Psycho killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est</i>

147
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:07,523
<i>Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-far better</i>

148
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:13,321
<i>Run, run, run, run,
run, run, run away</i>

149
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:19,285
<i>Oh, psycho killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est</i>

150
00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:23,623
<i>Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-far better</i>

151
00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:29,337
<i>Run, run, run, run,
run, run, run away</i>

152
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:46,687
<i>Psycho killer
Qu'est-ce que c'est</i>

153
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:50,399
<i>Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-far better</i>

154
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:55,863
<i>Run, run, run, run,
run, run, run away</i>

155
00:10:57,240 --> 00:11:00,493
We can't just sit here while
they exploit our images.

156
00:11:00,576 --> 00:11:03,621
<i>MAN: Hey, John Wayne, have you
heard about Stockswapper. org 's</i>

157
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,414
<i>low, low transaction fees?</i>

158
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:08,668
Sounds...like...quite...
a...deal...pilgrim.

159
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:11,420
I hate...
trans. . .action...fees.

160
00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:12,713
(LAUGHING)

161
00:11:13,422 --> 00:11:17,218
Hey, George Washington! See
if you think this is funny!

162
00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:19,136
<i>(WEDDING MARCH</i>
PLAYING <i>ON ORGAN)</i>

163
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,723
<i>MAN: It's the Springfield
Wedding Chapel's annual</i>

164
00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:25,142
<i>President's Day
marriage-a-thon!</i>

165
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:32,567
That ad implies that Mr. Lincoln
and I are betraying familiarities!

166
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:33,693
It's an outrage!

167
00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:34,861
(CHUCKLES)

168
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:36,988
Yes, an outrage.

169
00:11:37,071 --> 00:11:38,322
(ALL GRUMBLING)

170
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:40,616
(HORSE NEIGHING)

171
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:43,786
So are we gonna sit here
flapping ourjaws

172
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,497
or are we gonna do
something about it?

173
00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:51,210
Now wait just
a gosh-darn minute here.

174
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:54,213
We can't go taking the
law into our own hands.

175
00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:56,841
These are people with
hopes and dreams...

176
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,011
Put a sock in it,
mush mouth!

177
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:09,770
All we are saying is
let's eat some brains!

178
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,315
(SLOW MUSIC PLAYING)

179
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:15,276
Great party, Homer.

180
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:18,362
Murdering Kate Winslet paid
for that chocolate fountain.

181
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:19,822
(HORSE NEIGHING)

182
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,083
(STUTTERING)
Golda Meir!

183
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,169
<i>(HA VA NA GILA PLAYING)</i>

184
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:36,255
Mmm.

185
00:12:36,339 --> 00:12:37,757
You ripped me off, see?

186
00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,300
No, I didn't, see?

187
00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:41,469
You're gonna pay for
what you done, see?

188
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:43,262
(GRUNTS)

189
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:46,849
I always thought I'd
die of hepatitis, see?

190
00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:52,021
Rip Taylor?
You're not even dead!

191
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:53,940
Someone needs to
check my apartment!

192
00:12:54,023 --> 00:12:55,066
(LAUGHING)

193
00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:56,400
(HUMMING)

194
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:00,613
(GASPS)

195
00:13:01,030 --> 00:13:02,114
Let's get him!

196
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:05,868
Little sister, is that
moustache coming or going?

197
00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:07,995
Well, your wife likes it.

198
00:13:09,121 --> 00:13:10,373
(LAUGHING)

199
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:13,209
You're all right,
goofy grape.

200
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:16,087
People, please! We're
here to kill this jerk!

201
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:18,172
Before you kill me,
I gotta know,

202
00:13:18,255 --> 00:13:20,383
what is the one
true religion?

203
00:13:20,716 --> 00:13:22,677
It's a mix of
voodoo and Methodist.

204
00:13:26,305 --> 00:13:27,306
(HOMER LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)

205
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:29,934
Shouldn't have left the key
under the mat, suckers!

206
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,936
So what do you do
for fun around here?

207
00:13:32,061 --> 00:13:35,648
Well, tonight we've got a poker
tournament at the rec center.

208
00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:38,567
Ooh! After you,
Mr. Pennyface.

209
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,569
Is your wife up here?

210
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,906
(LAUGHS) Well,
we have an understanding.

211
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:45,616
Mmm.

212
00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:54,375
<i>(LINUS AND LUCY PLAYING)</i>

213
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,238
(YAWNING)

214
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:35,791
Good grief.

215
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:39,462
I like your
witch costume, Lisa.

216
00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:42,006
I'm not a witch.
I'm a Wiccan.

217
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:45,384
Why is it when a woman is confident
and powerful, they call her a witch?

218
00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:46,510
(TROMBONE PLAYING)

219
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,678
What did you say, Mom?

220
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:49,930
Nothing. I'm
practicing my trombone.

221
00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:55,102
So what are you wearing to
the Halloween party, Milhouse?

222
00:14:55,186 --> 00:14:56,604
I'm not going
to the party.

223
00:14:56,687 --> 00:15:01,150
I'm going to the pumpkin patch
to wait for the Grand Pumpkin.

224
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,821
That means,
"You kids have fun."

225
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,740
What's the Grand Pumpkin?

226
00:15:07,823 --> 00:15:09,075
Every Halloween,

227
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:13,245
the Grand Pumpkin visits all
the pumpkin patches in the world

228
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:16,165
and brings candy to
kids who truly believe.

229
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:18,417
Milhouse,
for the last time,

230
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:20,503
I made that up
to mess with you!

231
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,588
The Grand Pumpkin
isn't real!

232
00:15:22,671 --> 00:15:25,216
I appreciate you
testing my faith, Bart.

233
00:15:25,299 --> 00:15:27,093
But it's not necessary.

234
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:29,303
Ibefievein the Grand
Pumpkin, almighty gourd,

235
00:15:29,386 --> 00:15:32,765
who was crustified over Pontius
Pie-Plate and ascended into oven.

236
00:15:32,848 --> 00:15:36,393
He will come again to judge
the filling and the bread...

237
00:15:37,478 --> 00:15:38,562
Sigh.

238
00:15:42,399 --> 00:15:45,820
(GASPS) You've all come to wait
for the Grand Pumpkin with me!

239
00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:47,905
Who wants to sing
pumpkin carols?

240
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:49,824
I've got
a pumpkin carol for you.

241
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:50,950
(CLEARING THROAT)

242
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,952
<i>(SINGING) You are
such a stupid moron</i>

243
00:15:53,035 --> 00:15:54,829
<i>It makes people
want to punch you</i>

244
00:15:54,912 --> 00:15:57,665
<i>The Grand Pumpkin 's
super gay</i>

245
00:15:57,748 --> 00:16:00,668
<i>Punch,punch,punch,
punch, Wedgie!</i>

246
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:02,878
(ALL LAUGHING)

247
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:04,839
Your God is wrong.

248
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:06,340
Let's get to
the Halloween party.

249
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:09,176
I want to hit the apple tank before all
of the Granny Smiths are bobbed out.

250
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:10,469
Lise, you coming?

251
00:16:10,553 --> 00:16:12,096
I think I'll stay
With Milhouse.

252
00:16:12,179 --> 00:16:14,557
His glasses fog up
when he cries.

253
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,225
More Granny Smiths
for me.

254
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,735
Lisa! Lisa!
Wake up! He's here!

255
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,988
What? The Grand Pumpkin
is here?

256
00:16:29,113 --> 00:16:32,116
No. I'm rehearsing what I'm
gonna say when he shows up.

257
00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:34,743
He's here.
He's here! He is here!

258
00:16:35,911 --> 00:16:37,246
<i>(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)</i>

259
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:40,958
You owe me restitution!

260
00:16:41,208 --> 00:16:43,836
If he sees us fighting,
he might not come!

261
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:49,884
Grand Pumpkin,
I know you're real.

262
00:16:49,967 --> 00:16:52,386
Why won't you
show yourself?

263
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:54,346
(SOBBING) Why?

264
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:06,859
Happy Halloween!

265
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:11,697
The Grand Pumpkin!
You are real!

266
00:17:11,780 --> 00:17:17,286
That's right, Milhouse. Your childlike
belief has brought me to life.

267
00:17:17,578 --> 00:17:19,288
I knew you'd come!

268
00:17:19,371 --> 00:17:22,666
I even baked you a loaf of
homemade pumpkin bread!

269
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:27,004
How delightful. Bread made
especially for pumpkins.

270
00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:32,259
Actually,
it's made from pumpkins.

271
00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:33,677
(EXCLAIMS)

272
00:17:34,178 --> 00:17:35,596
(RETCHING)

273
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,224
Uh-oh.

274
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:40,684
(SHOUTING) Revenge!

275
00:17:40,768 --> 00:17:42,061
(SCREAMING)

276
00:17:45,105 --> 00:17:46,106
(CHUCKUNG)

277
00:17:46,190 --> 00:17:47,816
I'm gonna give you
crossed eyes,

278
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:49,401
like you might
see on an idiot,

279
00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,528
a stupid triangle nose,

280
00:17:51,612 --> 00:17:55,282
and a big mouth full of the
ugliest-shaped teeth there are.

281
00:17:55,449 --> 00:17:59,870
Square! And I'm gonna
make your friends watch.

282
00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:05,459
No!

283
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:08,003
(MOANING)

284
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:11,507
Ladies.

285
00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:13,008
Stupid.

286
00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:19,515
<i>(LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING)</i>

287
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:24,103
(MUSIC STOPS)

288
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:27,273
Everybody, listen!
The Grand Pumpkin is real!

289
00:18:27,356 --> 00:18:29,108
Hey! No hard-soled shoes!

290
00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:31,652
(GROWLS)

291
00:18:31,735 --> 00:18:32,820
(ALL SCREAMING)

292
00:18:33,362 --> 00:18:36,365
Oh, God!
Everywhere I look!

293
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:39,034
Pumpkin atrocities!

294
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,120
Care for
a pumpkin seed?

295
00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:44,873
(GASPS) You roast
the unborn?

296
00:18:47,042 --> 00:18:48,210
(GROWLING)

297
00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:51,505
Touch me and I'll
cut your friend.

298
00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:54,300
What do I care?
That's a yellow pumpkin.

299
00:18:55,050 --> 00:18:56,510
You're a racist!

300
00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:58,053
All pumpkins are racist.

301
00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,888
The difference
is I admit it!

302
00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:03,517
NELSON: I'd rather
die than hate!

303
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,060
This is all my fault!

304
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:09,398
The Grand Pumpkin said my childlike
belief was what made him come to life!

305
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:11,025
Belief, eh?

306
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,359
Hmm.

307
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:16,739
Say, Milhouse, have you by any
chance ever heard of Tom Turkey?

308
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:19,575
No. Who is he and
what's his origin story?

309
00:19:20,659 --> 00:19:22,661
Well, Tom is
a magical turkey

310
00:19:22,745 --> 00:19:25,581
who gave the Pilgrims the technology
to put buckles on their hats.

311
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:29,251
Now he appears every Thanksgiving
to children who believe.

312
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,961
Sounds plausible.

313
00:19:31,086 --> 00:19:34,882
Tom Turkey, help me.
I believe in you.

314
00:19:34,965 --> 00:19:38,260
Are you looking for a particular
part of my brain, or...

315
00:19:40,763 --> 00:19:47,770
Halt, yon pumpkin, most succulent
and plump! I be Tom Turkey!

316
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:52,274
A giant talking turkey?
Preposterous!

317
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:54,985
Prepare for
the Almighty's judgment,

318
00:19:55,069 --> 00:19:58,113
thou stinking fruit
of rotted vine!

319
00:20:02,117 --> 00:20:04,787
Pumpkin segregation
forever!

320
00:20:05,079 --> 00:20:06,372
(GROANING)

321
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,502
I can't live on the outside!
I can't!

322
00:20:11,585 --> 00:20:13,045
(MOANING)

323
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:18,801
Milhouse, your childlike
innocence saved us all!

324
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,636
Tom, how can
we repay you?

325
00:20:20,803 --> 00:20:24,348
How about a Thanksgiving feast?
You can carve the turkey!

326
00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:27,267
(GASPS) You eat turkeys?

327
00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:29,686
Yeah, it's delicious!

328
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:33,065
Especially when we take stuffing
and shove it up the turkey's ass.

329
00:20:33,148 --> 00:20:35,651
Revenge!

330
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:37,486
(CHILDREN SCREAMING)

331
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:44,159
Looks like those kids found
the true spirit of Halloween,

332
00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:47,496
or Thanksgiving,
or whatever.

333
00:20:47,579 --> 00:20:49,164
And for those of you
who feel like

334
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,959
we've trampled on a
beloved children's classic,

335
00:20:52,042 --> 00:20:54,670
I encourage you to write
to the following address.

336
00:20:56,296 --> 00:20:58,298
Happy holidays, everyone!

337
00:21:51,602 --> 00:21:52,603
English - US - PSDH

